


Stargazers

by NowSeeHere



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Modern Era, Romance, Slow Burn, non-cannon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 23:33:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 166,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13985661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowSeeHere/pseuds/NowSeeHere
Summary: Fresh out of the Army, Valerie Dyer is at a loss of what to do with herself. Uncertain with her future, she falls into a habit of drinking and feeling sorry for herself until a cute librarian with a smile so sweet it could make the flowers grow gives her some motivation and a reason to get out of bed everyday and do something with her life.Lucille x Valerie, with eventual Delia x Patsy and Trixie x Barbara in later chapters.Modern-Era, Non-Canon, Valerie's POV.Updates Fridays.Special Pupcake Only Chapters 11 and 12!





	1. Chapter 1

Valerie Dyer lightly pushed against the wooden door, and it slowly creaked open at her touch. 

She dropped her army issued duffle bag on the floor of her childhood bedroom with a loud thump. She flicked the switch next to the door and a small lamp by the bed flickered to life. 

Looking around, not much had changed in the four years that she had been away. Posters of Joss Stone and Amy Winehouse decorated the walls, faded and curling at the corners with age. Collages and memory boards had pictures of family and friends pinned to them, joined by old concert tickets and playbills to some of her favorite musicals. The wooden dresser in the corner was the same, the broken drawer at the bottom Valerie could never force shut slumped to the side sadly. Valerie’s eyes turned to the twin bed in the middle of the room with the inviting duvet and pillows. She made her way over, collapsing on her back, arms raised above her head, eyes to the ceiling. 

She was exhausted. The train from Catterick, North Yorkshire to Poplar had taken all day. She was eager to return home after having spent the week prior poked and prodded by medical staff, asked a litany of questions concerning her mental health and well being and her plans for the immediate future as standard out-processing from the royal army. 

It was an overwhelming experience. Could she snap a soldiers shoulder back in place while her medical tent was rained on by shrapnel and debris from an nearby explosion? No problem. She was in her element in those moments. But talking about her future? Now that made her heart race. 

All her life, there was structure. In school, there was a timetable. Show up at this time to this place and you will do this activity. There were books filled with rules and numbers about how to dress, how to wear your hair, how to speak and behave around professors. The military had been the same. There are rules written down in books on how to dress, how to wear your hat, how to wear your hair and keep your appearance while in uniform. Your day is planned for you, when to work, when to eat, when to sleep. Decisions are made for you. You are not the master of your own destiny. 

But now. Valerie wasn’t Corporal Dyer anymore. She was just Valerie. 

For the first time she could remember, she had no idea what tomorrow would bring. She tried to see into her future and there was nothing. The thought made her clutch her chest with anxiety. 

What was she going to do? What was she going to do with her life? She was 24 years of age and for the first time she was tasked with making a decision about her own life without anyone telling her what to do? 

She thought this should be liberating, not panic inducing. 

Valerie suddenly felt a tiny, sandpapery tongue on her hand. She looked over to see her mother's tabby cat Nikki nuzzle her left hand. Valerie smiled, and gently scratched the cat on the chin. 

‘You have good timing, Nikki.’ Valerie sat up and scooped the cat in her arms. She meowed affectionately. She held Nikki close, her anxiety slowly melting away as the soft creature purred against her chest. The two stayed like that for several moments before Valerie heard the wooden floors in the hallway creak. 

‘Oh, darling, you’re here.’ Valerie looked over to see her mother standing in the doorway of her bedroom, her dressing gown held closed with her hand. 

It had been years since Valerie saw her mother. The crows feet around her eyes were a bit more defined than Valerie had remembered, the lines around her mouth darker. Her hair more frizzled and gray around the edges. She was thinner, her cheeks shallow. The hand that clutched to her dressing gown was freckled with age spots. At only 49, it looked like a lifetime of late nights, drinking, and smoking had finally caught up to the woman. 

Valerie stood, ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you mum. The train didn’t arrive until almost midnight. Thought I would just sneak in and go to bed.’ 

‘Oh, I wish you would have called. I would have walked with you. It’s not safe to walk the streets at night,’ she said, her voice raspy. 

Valerie smirked, thinking that after all she had been through, walking along Poplar in the middle of the night wasn’t the scariest thing she could imagine. 

Valerie’s mother shuffled towards her, fuzzy blue slippers scraping against the floor, She held out her arms, ‘It so good to see you, love. Come here and give your mum a hug then.’ 

Valerie leaned into her, one arm holding Nikki tight while the other wrapped around her mother. She sighed into the familiar embrace, her scent of cigarettes and flowery detergent filling her nose. The smell of her mother really made her feel like she was finally home. 

‘I’ve missed you so much,’ her mother patted her softly on the back, ‘It’s good to have you home, Val.’ 

‘I’ve missed you too, mum.’ 

Her mother leaned back, her hand coming to squeeze Valerie on the shoulder, ‘You’ve had a long day. Why don’t you try to get some sleep and we can catch up good and proper in the morning, yeah? Maybe go and visit your Aunt Maggie at the pub for supper?’ 

Ah, the Black Sail pub. How could Valerie ever think she wouldn’t return to the pub where she was raised, crawled along the wooden bar as a baby, poured her first pint at age eight when she was tall enough to reach the tap, and spent many summer days and nights busing tables and washing dishes for pocket money. She certainly missed her Aunt, and her famous steak and ale pie, for sure. What she didn’t miss were the boorish dock workers that would frequent the pub after a long days work, drunk and eager to reach out and lay their hands on an unsuspecting teenager. Her mother would relish that kind of attention from the men, but it only took one occurrence for some old timer to grab Valerie on the ass at age 16 for her to insist that she only work in the back or behind the bar where they couldn’t reach her. 

Valerie sighed, ‘That sounds good, mum.’ 

Her mother smiled, ‘Have a goodnight then. I’ll make you a right proper breakfast in the morning.’ She gave Valerie’s shoulder one last squeeze before turning and disappearing down the hall, into her room, softly clicking the door shut. 

Valerie turned, giving Nikki one last scratch behind the ears before she gently placed her on the bed. She kicked off her shoes, dressing down to a t-shirt and shorts before crawling into bed, flicking off the light. Valerie pulled the covers up to her chin, her gaze turning toward the window where the moonlight brightly shone through. Valerie looked at the moon through the blinds for many moments, her mind wandering back to her earlier thoughts and anxieties. At least now she had a plan for tomorrow, but after…? 

She felt tiny footsteps crawl over her. Nikki settled in on Valerie’s chest, curling into a ball and purring. The weight of the tiny creature on her chest calmed Valerie and sedated her. Slowly, she closed her eyes, her mind letting go of all thoughts, and she fell fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valerie deals with the unfortunate reality that is the UK Veterans Agency, but is forgiving when a certain librarian swoops in to save her precious paperwork. She also can't quite say 'no' to a certain Aunt when asked to work at the pub with a rather enticing meat pie sitting in front of her.

Valerie ungracefully dropped the stack of bound manilla folders against the wooden table, creating a noise that was much too rude for her surroundings. The slap of paper against wood reverberated around the library, and she hunched her shoulders shyly, hoping the severe looking woman in the corner wouldn’t come and throw her out. The woman looked in her direction and glared, but did nothing more than that. 

Valerie breathed a sigh of relief, turning her attention to the large photocopier in front of her. 

After a hearty breakfast, she was met with the unpleasant surprise that her mother still did not have internet in the house.  
‘I’ve lived without it all me life, I don’t see what use I have for it now,’ was her reasoning, much to Valerie's annoyance. She promised she would set that right later today with a call to Sky.

Now at the library with much needed internet connection, Valerie decided to take care of some loose ends with her military out-processing. First, scan all this paperwork to the computer so she had a digital copy. Then, fax. Seriously, they instructed her to fax her paperwork to the veterans offices. Why hasn't this outdated technology been made obsolete? Valerie imagined her documents printing in a neglected government back office somewhere, falling to the floor on a pile of papers from other poor souls waiting on their benefits. She felt resentful at the thought. 

She pushed a few buttons and the machine hummed to life. Plucking a few papers from her stack, she placed them in the scanner and punched in her email address. The papers scanned through without any difficulty. 

She took another stack of papers, a bit more this time, and placed them in the tray. The machine jerked, emitting a gut wrenching crackling of paper and Valerie's heart sank into her stomach. 

‘No! No, no, no, no,’ she whispered to herself, her eyes wide and panicked as she helplessly watched the machine eat her precious paperwork. She frantically pushed the plastic buttons, all of them, anything to get the scanner to stop and spit out her paperwork unharmed. Valerie eventually reached around the side, finding the power switch and flipped it off. The machine finally stopped, and Valerie let out an anxious breath. She chanced a nervous glance over to the cantankerous looking woman who had glared at her earlier. Her anxiety grew when the woman, now looking completely agitated and bristled, stood from her seat, eyes peering into Valerie. 

That’s it, I’ve done it, Valerie thought, I’ll never be allowed back in for breaking their -

‘Do you need some help?’ 

Valerie turned to the meek voice. A woman with kind brown eyes looked back at her. She had dark skin and curly black hair, a few freckles dotted across her cheeks. She looked to be about the same age as Valerie. She was certainly a much more pleasant sight than the other woman across the room. 

Valerie blinked when the woman shyly smiled up at her, unsure as to why words escaped her at the moment. 

‘This copier can be a rather pain to deal with,’ the woman said. She reached around Valerie to open the scanner and gently tugged at the papers that were jammed in there. It took a moment for Valerie to process how close they suddenly were, the gentle scent of lavender reaching her nose before she realized she hadn’t moved at all. She took a step back, feeling a blush rise from her neck to her ears. 

The woman retrieved her papers, crumpled, but relatively unscathed.

‘I’m sorry about that. This one in particular likes to eat the pages when more than a few try to go through at once…’ the woman trailed off, noticing the royal army seal of a lion and a crown decorating the top of the top page. 

‘Oh, are you in the army?’ she asked.

‘Oh, um…’ Valerie stutterd, her anxiety rising. She was very reserved with whom she told about her military service. Some thanked her for it. Others called her a murderer. 

‘I…’ she decided to take the chance, ‘yes, well, I was. I’ve just gotten out.’ 

The woman’s eyes brightened, ‘Oh, goodness me, I’m sure that was very exciting.’ 

Valerie blushed, smiling bashfully as a wave of relief washed over her, ‘Yes, well, I certainly saw parts of the world I wouldn’t have known existed otherwise.’ 

‘And you’ve returned home now?’ she asked. 

‘Yes, Poplar is where I was raised,’ she looked back at the woman smiling, noticing her accent, ‘I imagine you were raised elsewhere?’ 

The woman smiled kindly, ‘Oh, yes, in Mandeville, Jamaica.’

Valerie faked indignation, ‘Jamaica? My goodness, how could you ever leave such a paradise?’ 

The woman laughed, ‘Such a paradise can seem like the everyday humdrum when you’re born and raised there,’ she rocked on her heels and smiled proudly, ‘I came here on an exchange program and received my degree in library science. The uni has since hired me on as a full time employee which has kept me here. Though, I will admit, I do miss the sun and having the opportunity to swim in the ocean every day,’ she paused, thinking, ‘I will say that the lack of hurricanes is nice.’ 

Valerie laughed, ‘So I take it you’re liking it here?’

The woman looked away, rather forlorn, ‘It’s… it’s been an adjustment,’ she reached up absentmindedly and held her chest. Valerie noticed she wore a necklace that disappeared under her shirt. She imagined there was a pendant underneath she wished to clutch.

‘It doesn’t quite feel like home yet, but I’ve only been here a few months. I’ve just graduated, see, and I’m not giving up so soon.’ 

‘That’s good to hear,’ Valerie smiled rather proud, ‘Poplar is… a little rough around the edges, but it can be quite, um, charming,’ she shook her head, rather feeling like she was describing herself for a moment. 

The woman smiled shyly, and nodded. It looked as if she was unsure of what to say next. 

‘Well,’ she eked out, ‘please let me know if you need any help with… um…’ 

‘Oh, it’s alright, I think I'll get the hang of it,’ Valerie interrupted, quite enamored with how shy this woman was, ‘thank you very much.’ 

The woman nodded, still smiling, and hurried off away from Valerie. 

Valerie turned back to the machine, feeling quite elated with just having such a small chat with a stranger. She looked down at the crinkled mess of papers in her hands and smiled, feeling like she now had the patience of putting these things through one by one if she needed to knowing that the kind woman she had just spoken to was nearby. 

She wished she had asked her what her name was. She wanted to know more about her. 

Valerie shook her head. Don’t be weird, she thought. She carried on with the task at hand. 

###### 

A fresh pint of Newcastle ale was placed directly in front of Valerie. The setting sun created an amber glow against the dark wood of the interior of her Aunts pub, the Black Sail. Nothing about it had changed since Valerie had last been here four years ago, just before she went off to basic training. She recalled fondly on the good-bye party her mother hosted here just before she left. 

‘Just popped a shepards pie in the oven for you, love. Should be ready any minute, now.’ 

Valerie smiled kindly, ‘Thanks Aunt Maggie. It’s always been one of my favorites.’ 

Valerie looked over to her mother, a few stools down. She had her hair done up, wearing clothing that would have been more appropriate for someone twenty years younger, her makeup caked on and just… dramatic. It was disheartening to see her like this, but Valerie didn’t know if she should mind if she looked like she was enjoying the attention from one of the dockworkers that had come in. 

‘So, tell me how you’ve been! Patching up men in combat and all that couldn’t have been terribly glamorous, could it? Bet you found some nice looking blokes to wait on, eh? Those Navy boys that come though are in a right shape, aren’t they?’ Maggie finished off with a wink. 

Valerie blushed, shrugging, ‘Dating wasn’t really encouraged out there… A lot of the men were married anyway,’ she said, hoping that would satiate her Aunt of all questions concerning hookups or romance. 

‘And yeah it was challenging at times, for sure,’ she continued, ‘Had to break the news to some of the yanks that they’d need to have their limbs removed, they’d been hit so bad by an IED or something,’ Valerie chuckled, trying to pass it off as a lighthearted comment, but her heart sank internally, remembering their screams. 

She chugged the rest of her beer. She blinked, the alcohol hitting her immediately.

‘You alright, love?’ Maggie asked.

‘Yeah, just haven’t had pint in well over 18 months.’ 

‘You telling me you couldn’t drink there?’

Valerie shook her head, ‘No, not at all.’ 

‘Jesus, fuck,’ Maggie swore, taking her tea towel and swatting it against the bar, ‘you can’t drink, you can’t fuck… I mean, Christ. If I had been there I would have wanted to at least do one or the other!’ 

Valerie laughed sympathetically, ‘You’re really kept busy there. Time went by so fast I didn’t notice I wasn’t drinking or… yeah,’ she trailed off. Maggie placed another full pint in front of Valerie and she took a gulp. Gosh, this was good. She didn’t realize how much she had missed a good pint until now. 

A timer went off abruptly in the background. 

‘Oh, that’ll be your supper. One moment, love,’ Maggie disappeared behind the kitchen door for a moment. 

The tittering laughter of her mum caused her to look over at her briefly. The dock worker had a hand on her knee, precariously drifting up her thigh. Valerie looked away, ashamed but not wanting to shame. She tried to imagine her mother flirting like this for the attention and validation that she was attractive, but she did not want to think about it going any further than that. 

Maggie burst through the door with a steaming meat pie and sat it down in front of Valerie, who cut into it immediately, not realizing how hungry she was until the savory scent hit her nose. 

‘So,’ Maggie started, leaning against the counter, ‘have you had any luck finding a job or anything?’

Valerie’s heart sank, dreading what she knew her Aunt was going to ask next. 

‘Uh, well, I’ve only been home a day. I’m still working on getting some things sorted…’ Valerie trailed off. 

‘All in good time, love. But you know,’ Maggie leaned in close, ‘I could use some help around here, if you need some spare change. I know you don’t like working out front, and you wouldn’t need to with your mum working the boys at the tables,’

Valerie looked at her Aunt apprehensively. 

‘Oh, come on, Valerie, it’s not that bad,’ she sighed, ‘I’ll keep you pouring pints behind the bar so you don’t have to deal with any of the ruddy grabbers.’

Deep down in her heart, Valerie knew this wasn’t true, and her expression must have shown it. 

‘You know you’d be able to drink and eat here for free, yeah? You’re family, after all.’

Ok, now that was rather enticing. Valerie inhaled the wonderful smell of her Aunts meat pie and sighed. 

What else did she have going on at the moment. She didn’t even know what she was going to do that evening. It was still a foreign and scary concept to her. 

‘I guess… well, I suppose I could do it for a bit until I get my bearings.’ 

‘Atta girl,’ her Aunt said smiling, ‘What’s your schedule like? I could really use your help tomorrow, with it being Friday and all.’ 

‘I... ,’ what did she have? Nothing. 

‘Yeah, sure. I’ll come over and help out.’

Maggie winked, ‘Swing by around three and we’ll get you all caught up.’ 

Valerie nodded, thinking she would have to stay up as late as possible tonight to get used to tending the pub until 4am. No more early mornings for her. She wasn’t in the military anymore. 

Valerie finally took a bite of her Aunt’s pie. The savory flavor melted in her mouth, and it as the most delicious thing she had tasted in the last 18 months. She decided that tending the bar for a few nights a week would be totally worth it just for this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want everyone to know I edited the tags to put Lucille first because that's how Valerie would have wanted it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valerie has a bout of the summertime blues and seeks the literary recommendations of a certain librarian to pull her out of her slump.

Valerie stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray. The end table next to where she was sitting in the living room wobbled underneath. Her attention turned to the buzzing air conditioner in the window. It made a cringe inducing cranking noise every so often before sputtering to life again. Typical it would give out now on one of the hottest days in June. The heat barely registered with Valerie though. Until a few months ago she was made to wear long trousers and boots in temperatures up to 49. The sheen of sweat that had developed over her body had been such a constant thing that it became second nature. Valerie sat up, feeling her shirt peel away from her mothers recliner. At least the hardwood flooring in the living room felt cool against her bare feet. 

Nikki the cat seemed to be taking the heat in stride, sprawled out on her back, belly catching the breeze from the air conditioner. In a fit of boredom and sympathy for the poor creature, Valerie had shaved her fur, leaving a fluffy mane around her head and a little puff of fur at the base of her tail paws. Her mother cracked up laughing at the sight of Nikki when she returned home from the pub that morning, thinking she looked like a little lion. 

Valerie smiled slightly at the memory before bringing another cigarette to her mouth, lighting it. 

In the two weeks she had started working at the pub, she had thought she would have easily fallen into some kind of schedule, but she had no idea what to do with herself when she wasn’t working, other than look for more work. She had spent some time polishing her resume, spending a few hours a day researching positions and sending it out. Unfortunately it didn’t seem like she had much better job prospects at the moment than pulling pints at the pub. Day after day she searched for anything; anything within the realm of nursing, within the realm of medical that she thought she might qualify for, and applied, but for all she knew she was sending her resume out into the ethos where it would go unchecked and unnoticed. No one emailed back, no one called. 

It seemed no one cared, and it made it hard for Valerie to care about much, either. There was nothing motivating her to get up and get out of bed everyday besides helping her Aunt and earning some money at the pub, and even that took some effort (her Aunt’s cooking being the final motivator, which, in the end, always won out). 

The pile of dirty clothes in her bedroom bothered her, but she couldn’t find it within herself to get it cleaned and put away. Why bother, when even Nikki found the ever growing pile to be a perfectly appropriate nest to sleep in? 

What about something fun? Didn’t she have any hobbies before she joined the military? Wasn’t the netflix queue full of shows she could catch up on and talk about with… whom, exactly? She had never been able to make friends easily, and all the ones she did have were scattered all over the planet getting on with their lives like she should be doing. 

Get on with her life… how though? She had been working 12 to 18 hour days for the last 18 months. She didn’t know how to do anything else. 

Valerie stubbed out her cigarette and brought her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes. She had a headache. Again. 

While on shift at the pub, Valerie found herself drinking more and more. After the first evening, she treated herself to a few pints, and some of the locals bought her a few rounds of shots as a welcome back. She woke up the next day miserable, her body not accustomed. She had the worst headache she ever had, couldn’t sleep and was absolutely exhausted. She had felt irritable and sad. She didn’t think she would drink again, but night after night she would lift the pint to her mouth, and the moment the next sip touched her lips it was delicious and wonderful. 

Just the one this time, she would reason with herself. Well, this feels alright, maybe another. Three won’t hurt, I feel fine. 

The process would repete. She would feel like garbage the next morning, make a promise not to drink and then break it by that afternoon. 

Why did she keep doing this to herself? 

Valerie needed to get out of the house. Maybe go for a walk. Go to the store and drink a gatorade to help her get over todays hangover. 

She walked to the door and slipped on her sandals, catching herself in the mirror by the front door. Her eyes were bloodshot and glazed over with dark circles under them. Her hair wasn’t much better, cropped short and tucked back behind her ears. When was the last time she even ran a brush through it? Her tank top clung to her, a sweat stain on her chest. 

She looked awful. 

Valerie grabbed a pair of sunglasses sitting by the door to cover her eyes. She could do that, at least. 

She started out, hands in the pockets of her shorts, looking down at the sidewalk. The leaves from the few trees scattered about provided some welcome shade, and it felt cool against her skin. She relaxed a bit more as a breeze caressed her naked arms and legs. The sounds of the city carried on around her as she walked, cars driving by, people chatting. The smells of bread baking wafted nearby. 

Valerie kept on, running her fingers through her hair, wishing she had another cigarette. The sounds of children laughing caught her attention, and she looked over in their direction. She had found herself a the edge of a park, the two kids, boy and a girl by the looks of it, playing a game of basketball with a grown woman, probably their mother. 

The woman’s happy grin reminded her of the girl at the library that helped her with that bloody scanner. The one with the pretty smile and cute freckles. 

She watched on as the three of them played, the woman smiling and laughing just as much as the kids. She let the little girl dribble the ball and then lifted her up so she could make a slam dunk. They all ran around excited. The sight made Valerie feel happy and reminded her of the smile Library girl had given her that afternoon when she talked of Jamaica. 

Hmm. When was the last time she had even read a book? 

Hands in her pockets, Valerie turned on her heel and made her way to the library. 

###### 

The cool air conditioning in the library sent some welcome chills up the back of Valerie's neck after walking around outside for some time. She took off her sunglasses and hung them from her shirt. She blinked a few times, adjusting to the lighting. Everything seemed darker for a moment after coming in from outside. When she could see clearly, the library was completely dead, something she absolutely expected on a day like today. Classes were out and the weather was spectacular. She wondered for a moment if she should turn around and find something else to do, but then remembered that’s precisely what led her here - something to do. 

She scanned up and down the aisles looking for something to catch her fancy, feeling rather much like when she was a kid and would walk the aisles of the rental video place on a Friday evening with her mother and some Chinese take out. She was indecisive and felt like she wanted to spend hours reading the description of every book until she found precisely what she was looking for… still not quite knowing what that was, exactly. 

‘Alright?’

Valerie looked over the shelf and saw a familiar face looking back at her. Today her curly hair was down and softly rested on her shoulders. Oddly, she wore a cardigan, but Valerie surmised that it was because she had been in the air conditioning all day. 

The woman narrowed her eyes at her, a small smile gracing her features. 

‘Army girl,’ she said, quietly. 

Valerie smirked, reciprocating, ‘Library girl.’ 

As soon as Valerie opened her mouth, she could taste the cigarettes she had smoked earlier that day. She was suddenly very aware of her ragged state. She turned away from Library girls gaze, subtly scraping her tongue with her teeth in an attempt to clear her breath of any tobacco scent, and ran her fingers through her hair hoping it would make it look unkempt in a kempt way. She had no idea if she was successful, but Library girl giggled anyway. 

‘Oh, sorry, my name is Lucille. What’s yours?’ 

‘Valerie,’ she said with a tight smile. She balled her fists into her pockets nervously. 

‘It’s nice to meet you,’ Lucille said, smiling kindly. 

‘Likewise,’ Valerie said, nodding. The two paused for a moment, simply taking each other in. It took a moment for Lucille to blink and look away. 

‘So,' she started, biting her lip shyly, ‘did you need any help with something today, or…?’

Valerie blushed, ‘Er, yeah, I seem to, actually,’ she scratched the back of her head nervously and looked around, ‘I’m looking for something to alleviate my summer boredom but have no idea what I want to read.’ 

Lucille brought a finger to her chin and looked around, ‘Well, we do have a lot of options…’ 

‘Yeah, I was hoping you could help me narrow it down a bit.’ 

‘I see… well,’ Lucille shrugged, her eyes locked on Valerie's, inquiring, ‘What kinds of things are you into?’ 

Valerie grimaced, ‘Well, I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m interested in nothing, it’s just… my work in the army took up a lot of my time until recently and I just…,’ she looked away, hands in her pockets. Gosh, this was embarrassing. She was making herself out to sound so boring and vapid. 

Valerie sighed, feeling a bit defeated, ‘I’m a bit of a blank slate right now, is all. Can you recommend anything?’

‘I can recommend a lot of things,’ Lucille smirked and Valerie felt her heart thump in her chest, ‘but I need you to help me out here. Is there anything you want?’

Valerie blinked, ‘Beg your pardon?’

‘Like,’ Lucille’s gaze looked towards the ceiling contemplatively, ‘would you be interested in a work of fiction or fantasy to help your mind escape for a bit, or is there a subject you wish to learn more about, or maybe learn about someone’s life a bit better?’ 

Valerie let out a laugh and bit her lip, thinking she would like to know a certain someone's life a bit better, yeah. 

She picked nervously at a spot at the wooden shelf that was splintering off before shoving her hands in her pockets and looking down at her feet. 

‘You have anything that can tell me the meaning of life? That would be pretty handy right about now.’

‘42?’ Lucille asked, a grin spreading across her face. 

Valerie smirked, ‘Already read that one.’ 

Lucille gave a knowing smile, ‘Not the Hitchhiker's Guide, got it. One of my favorites, though,’ she crossed her arms, looking down in thought. She smiled a little and bit her lip. Valerie hoped she wouldn’t notice she was staring. 

‘I think…’ she trailed off, looking back up at Valerie. She nodded, ‘I think I know just the book.’ 

She turned and walked, looking over her shoulder and hooking her finger towards Valerie as a signal to follow. Valerie was paralyzed for a moment from the sight, she didn’t even realize she had been holding her breath as Lucille made her way down the aisle and was making her way towards the back of the library. Valerie shook her head and gathered her bearings, quickly following behind. 

Valerie turned the corner out of the aisle she had been in just in time to see a tuft of curly black hair disappear around the corner of a tall bookshelf that almost reached the ceiling, labeled SCIENCE/PHYSICS. 

When Valerie turned down the next aisle, she halted in her tracks, almost crashing into Lucille's hip. The woman was precariously standing on a wobbly footstool that looked nothing more like an overturned bucket. 

‘Let’s see… I know it’s here somewhere,’ Lucille mumbled to herself, her delicate fingers scanning the spines of the books on the top shelf. 

Valerie sent a panicked look from Lucille's face to the wobbly bucket stool and back again, wondering if she should brace herself for an inevitable fall. Instead, she surreptitiously placed her own foot on the stool to steady it, her eyes shyly making their way from the cute grey Toms Lucille was wearing, up her toned legs and lingered on her plump bottom that filled out her skinny jeans so nicely. 

‘Oh!’ Lucille exclaimed, and Valerie's head snapped up to Lucille’s, wide eyed and red faced. Lucille was reaching over Valerie’s head, her fingers just able to brush against the book she desired. Valerie noticed a cute pink tongue just barely poking out between two full lips in concentration. The edge of Lucille’s cardigan fell open and tickled the side of Valerie’s face and shoulder, sending a shiver down her spine. 

Lucille kept leaning over, one foot balancing on her toes while the other was off the stool completely. From afar she was sure Lucille looked like a ballerina attempting a pirouette, however Valerie's eyes were locked on the brown skin of an exposed hip peeking through a rising t-shirt. 

Valerie blinked rapidly at the hip. It was getting closer and closer, and she could only lean back so far before she would no longer be able to hold the bucket stool steady with her own foot, but if she didn’t move she was about to…

Valerie's eyes were wide, her lips barely feathering against the soft skin of Lucille’s hip, causing the woman above her to gasp and exclaim ‘Oh!’ again. Lucille lost her balance, falling forward over Valerie, who, half expecting something like this to happen, wrapped her arms tight around Lucille and kicked the bucket away. It clanked noisily down the aisle but it went unheard by the both of them. 

Valerie tried not to think about the softest pair of breasts she had ever had the good fortune of feeling pressed against her face, and slowly guided Lucille down until both of her feet were firmly on the ground again. Slowly, Valerie pulled away, looking back at an adorably frazzled woman, her hands clenching the sought after book in her hands tight. 

The sweet smell of lavender brushed against Valerie's nose, and she was reminded of the sour taste of old cigarettes in her own mouth, her ragged state, and her messy hair. She jumped away from Lucille, wishing she had the foresight to have a shower before or even just a bloody stick of gum at this point. How was she supposed to know she would have such a cute woman literally fall into her arms today? 

Valerie quickly gave a toothy grin, her chest rising as she took in a deep breath, ‘Well, good thing neither of us knocked over the shelf. God knows the rest of them would have followed and we’d have a bit of a catastrophe on our hands, eh?’ Her arms swayed back and forth and she snapped her fingers nervously. 

Valerie’s smile tightened to a thin line and she felt a cold sweat on her forehead as Lucille continued to stare, shoulders hunched, book clenched to her chest. 

‘I am so sorry,’ Lucille finally squeaked out, ‘that I fell on you…’ 

‘It’s alright. No harm done,’ Valerie looked anywhere but at Lucille, one hand running through her hair nervously while the other rested on her hip.

‘So, um,’ she started, her mind completely blank of anything she could say to have Lucille forget or ignore that she had just had a complete strangers mouth and hands on her body. 

Oh, god, Valerie thought, she’s going to have me arrested for assault. 

She could see herself being dragged out of the library by the police, pleading with them that it was a complete accident. She would never be able to look Lucille in the eye ever again. She should just make a run for it now and throw herself into the murky waters of the Thames and end it all.

Valerie chanced a peek at Lucille, who happened to be looking past her. A dark shadow crawled up Lucille and a chill making every hair on the back of Valerie's neck caused her to turn on her heel. She was suddenly met face to face with the severe looking woman who glared daggers at her several weeks ago when she had issues with the scanner from hell. The woman gave her such a look that Valerie’s body acted on it’s own, standing at attention with her fists balled tightly at her sides as if she was standing in the presence of an officer.

‘What is going on here?’ the woman stage whispered, her eyes darting back and forth between Valerie and Lucille, ‘What on earth was that commotion?’ 

‘Evangelina,’ Lucille started. Valerie looked over to her and noticed her posture slightly relaxed, ‘we’re sorry for the noise. I was reaching on the shelf for a book and the stool fell out from underneath me,’ she sighed, hands coming to her hips, ‘and this isn’t the first time this has happened. Cynthia had the same thing happen to her not too long ago. I keep telling you we need to get something a bit more sturdy. One of us is really going to get hurt one of these days.’ 

Evangelina blinked and sighed, her head tilting to the side, ‘And I keep telling you, those stools worked just fine when I started working here and they work fine now. Just be more careful,’ her eyes darted to Valerie and back to Lucille agan, ‘the noise you two make could wake the dead. Be more considerate of others in here trying to study.’ 

Valerie looked back into the common space of the library and didn’t see another soul. She could have sworn she saw a tumbleweed bounce along in the breeze from the air conditioner. 

Evangelina gave them one last look of despise before turning, skulking down the aisle and around the corner out of sight. 

Valerie looked back at Lucille, rather amused that the woman looked as if her eyes were about to roll out of the back of her head.

‘Sorry about that,’ she said through clenched teeth, ‘she forgets that she started working here 50 years ago and safety standards have changed somewhat.’ 

Lucille looked up at Valerie and her demeanor changed almost immediately. Her body relaxed and she smiled warmly up at her, their earlier awkward encounter seemingly forgotten. 

‘This,’ Lucille said, holding out the book so Valerie could see the cover, ‘this is one of my favorite books of all time.’

Valerie read the title, ‘Cosmos?’ 

‘By Carl Sagan. Have you ever heard of it?’ Lucille grinned at Valerie, her eyes bright and excited to share. 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Er, no, I’ve never heard of it. Is it a science book?’ Her heart sank a little, wondering if she was being given something to read that was a bit out of her element. 

‘Yes,’ she said wistfully, ‘but it is so much more than that,’ she licked her lips, looking down at the book before meeting her gaze with Valerie's, the smile on her face wide and genuine. It made Valerie relax and turn towards her. 

‘May I read you a passage from it?’ 

Valerie nodded, ‘Of course.’ 

Lucille happily opened the book, turning to a page towards the middle, and began to read,

“What an astonishing thing a book is. It's a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic” 

Lucille closed the book and held it to her chest, ‘That's one of my favorite parts. It just sums up so well as to why I wanted to become a librarian. To be surrounded by books and to share knowledge with others… it’s just… it was my calling, for sure, but he had a way of articulating just why it was my calling so eloquently.’ Valerie watched as Lucille closed her eyes and sighed. It warmed her that Lucille was sharing something so deep and passionate about herself. 

Lucille opened her eyes and looked at Valerie, a small smile on her face, ‘You said you were looking for something that would tell you the meaning of life. Well, I can’t promise you this will tell you the meaning of your life in particular, but it can certainly show you that life does have meaning, and why it has meaning.’ 

Lucille handed over the book and Valerie took it in her hands as if she were receiving a precious gift. 

‘Thank you… I hope… well, I hope I can understand it all. Science isn’t really…’ 

‘Don’t worry. I didn’t think I had a mind for science either before I read this, but Sagan was a great educator and has a way of explaining even the most complex things in a way for all to understand. I just,’ she sighed, shaking her head with a small smile on her face, ‘I really love this book… and I’m just happy to share it with someone else,’ she rested a hand on Valerie's arm, ‘I hope you like it, too.’ 

Valerie blushed, a small smile playing at her lips, ‘Well, with a glowing review like that, I’m sure I’ll love it.’ 

The two shyly smiled at each other. Lucille slowly pulled her hand away, and Valerie missed the warmth. 

A little later, Valerie walked out of the library with the book under her arm. She had her hands in her pockets, sunglasses back over her eyes, and she made her way back towards the park she had walked by earlier. The family she had seen playing on the court were long gone, replaced by a group of young men, some shirtless, playing a game of basketball. Valerie found an empty bench under a tree nearby and sat down, crossing her legs and casually draping an arm over the back of the bench. She looked down at the book in her hand, her thumb stroking the cover, fondly remembering that gorgeous smile and those warm eyes, excited to share with her the contents of this very book. 

Valerie sighed, and opened the cover, flipping to the first chapter, reading the first paragraph to herself. 

“The Cosmos is all that is or was or ever will be. Our feeblest contemplations of the Cosmos stir us -- there is a tingling in the spine, a catch in the voice, a faint sensation, as if a distant memory, of falling from a height. We know we are approaching the greatest of mysteries.”

‘Blimey,’ Valerie said, and turned the page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm struggling real hard here to **not** turn Lucille into Hermione, so we'll see how successful I am. 
> 
> Little doodle of how I see these two in my head:
> 
> https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Val-and-Lou-Chapter-3-737891625?ga_submit_new=10%3A1522375100


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valerie makes a surprise donation to the Library, fends off a bunch of unsuspecting women from some 'Lads' at the pub, and finishes out her evening on the arm of this really cute woman she's been thinking of more and more these days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super fluff chapter. Lots of flirting. Enjoy.

Valerie sat behind the bar Sunday afternoon in a dead pub. The tables were wiped clean, the kegs changed out and full, and there wasn’t a sodding customer to wait on. Over the last week and a half, she brought her copy of Cosmos to the pub more often, reading when things were slow like this. It was her second time reading through the book, and she found herself picking up on things she had missed the first time that she found both amazing and depressing. 

“The lifetime of a human being is measured by decades, the lifetime of the Sun is a hundred million times longer. Compared to a star, we are like mayflies, fleeting ephemeral creatures who live out their lives in the course of a single day.” 

Valerie pursed her lips and shook her head, feeling rather insignificant. 

‘Hey Val,’ Valerie looked up from her book to her Aunt Maggie, her head poking out from behind the kitchn door, ‘I could use your help clearing some things back here if you’re not busy. Before the Sunday rush comes in.’ 

Valerie looked perplexed, wondering just what kind of rush she was expecting. She put her book down and came out from behind the bar to help out. She tried pushing the door to the kitchen open, but was met with a bit of resistance. She pushed harder, and found that the kitchen floor was littered with cardboard boxes. 

‘What’s all this?’ she asked, squeezing her way through the door and closing it behind her. 

‘Sorry, love,’ said Maggie, ‘just had a delivery come in late this morning so I’m a little off getting everything prepped for dinner. Just need help unpacking these boxes and getting them outside to the recycling,’ she handed Valerie a pair of scissors. 

Valerie took the scissors and began cutting open the boxes. They were full of things like sauces and spices, packaged meats and paper goods. 

‘I wouldn’t have guessed we would have any kind of rush on a Sunday,’ Valerie commented, kicking an empty box towards the back door, ‘figured most people would want to be home on a Sunday evening.’ 

‘Oh, you haven’t worked a Sunday yet, have you?’ Maggie asked, throwing expired and half filled jars of tomato sauce out and replacing them on the shelves with new ones. 

‘No, this is my first. Mum asked me to come in her place because she was... feeling under the weather,’ Valerie turned away from her Aunt, hoping she wouldn’t notice the lame excuse she gave to cover for her mothers hangover. A sinking feeling in her gut caused her to grimace as she remembered her mother returning to the bar again and again asking for rounds of shots ‘for the lads’, her appearance progressively more haggard and unkempt each time. She couldn’t see just what her mother was doing each time she took a tray of shots back through the crowd, and she didn’t want to know. 

‘Well, get ready,’ said Maggie, bringing Valerie out of her thoughts, ‘There’s always a big crowd from the baptist church down the street. They don’t drink a lick of booze but fuck me if they don’t polish off every last bit of Sunday roast I have in stock.’ 

Valerie flattened the cardboard boxes and piled them up, ‘Is this it? I’ll start taking these out if there aren’t any more.’ 

‘That’ll be it, love. I need to start prepping.’ 

Valerie nodded, scooping up the empty boxes in her arms and made her way through the back door that took her to the alley behind the pub. She heaved the boxes on top of the blue bin, placing a loose brick on top to hold them down. A glint of something caught her eye and she looked over towards what appeared to be a storage shed. Curious, she peeked through the door and saw a litany of tools, rubbish bins, paint supplies, and what looked to be a stack of step ladder s, laying flat and piled up. 

Valerie narrowed her eyes. There had to have been at least eight step ladders just sitting there. Why were there so many? An idea popped into her head. 

Valerie came back into the pub through the back door, her Aunt was playing music while she chopped vegetables. 

‘Aunt Maggie,’ Valerie started, ‘is that your storage shed out there?’

‘What’s that?’ Maggie said, ‘That old thing? Ah, yes,’ she murmured, returning to her chopping, ‘we share it with the shop next door. Keep some tools in there to fix the pipes when they spring a leak, but that’s about it.’ 

‘What about all those step ladders? Are they yours?’

Maggie smiled and shook her head, ‘No, and they’re a bloody nuisance. Fred said something about getting them for free from some home goods store that was liquidating. Said he’d try to sell them off but they’ve done nothing but take up space in there for the last year.’

Valerie peeked back outside while her Aunt continued to rant, ‘If I could just get him to use the space I know he’s got in the back of that shop for all that rubbish I could use that shed as a proper space to cure the halibut the old fashioned way,’ she scooped her vegetables in a bowl and it clamored against the stainless steel counter, ‘need to talk to Violet and see if I can bring her ‘round to the idea.’ 

‘Do you think he would notice if I took them? I might actually be able to put them to good use.’ 

‘Fred won’t notice a thing, probably. I’d leave at least one in case we need it, but if it were up to me you could have the lot of them.’ 

Valerie quietly snuck out to the alley once more. She unfolded one of the boxes and built it back up, taking a few of the ladders from the shed and placing them in the box. She closed it up and left it for later.

###### 

Several hours had passed in a blur for Valerie, who worked both the bar and the front of the house, serving food and cleaning tables. Like her Aunt had mentioned, a majority of the crowd was from the baptist church down the street, hardly any of them ordering drinks, but all of them having a large, hearty dinner that kept her Aunt busy cooking in the back. 

By the end of the evening when most of the crowd were done eating and filtering out, Valerie was glad to see that her Aunt had reemerged from the kitchens and was sitting with a group of black women in the corner, Valerie assumed all from the church. They were chatting and laughing over cups of tea, talking about their week, it seemed. Valerie walked over when her Aunt spotted her and waved her over. 

‘This is my niece Val, just out the army,’ Maggie said, addressing the table and hugging Valerie around the waist with one arm, ‘she’s come ‘round to help me out here at the pub till she gets on her feet.’ 

Val blushed at her Aunt’s words, still not comfortable telling people she had been in the army, nor that she was in some kind of transitional stage in her life. 

No one seemed to notice Valerie's state of discomfort, and the group at the table smiled and introduced themselves. Valerie blushed and smiled bashfully at their compliments on her service that evening. 

‘Your Aunt absolutely makes the best Sunday roast,’ said one bright eyed woman with an endearing gap between her two front teeth, ‘I used to come home after service and make dinner, but after being out all day, who wants to cook?’ there were several nods and murmurs of agreement. 

‘Haven’t tasted anything better in Poplar, that’s for sure,’ quipped another woman with great posture from behind her teacup. 

Maggie swatted her tea towel on the table playfully, ‘You all flatter me,’ 

‘It’s true,’ Valerie said unabashed, ‘you’re a great chef, Auntie. Your pie is what lured me back here to work.’ 

Maggie smiled bashfully and waived her off. Valerie quickly said goodnight to the group of women before making herself busy with busing tables and tending to the few dockworkers at the bar. 

It wasn’t until midnight that the pub was dead again, and Maggie allowed for her to head out after cleaning the bar. Valerie left through the back and found the box she had left there earlier that afternoon had been untouched. She dug through the shed once more and as luck would have it, found a hand truck wedged in the back behind a stack of gardening soil. She imagined Fred must have been the one to collect those sacks of soil, but for what purpose he intended for it here in the back alley of Violets shop and Maggie's pub, she couldn’t fathom. With a little shuffling, Valerie retrieved the hand truck and loaded the box onto it. She whistled a tune happily as she made her way to the library, feeling quite giddy for some reason. She wondered if it was because she was doing something nice. She wondered what Lucille would think. She hoped she would be surprised. Hope she would be happy. Hope she didn’t think this was too much. 

Valerie shook her head and kept on, the library in sight. When she reached the front steps she lifted the box from the hand truck and placed it on top of the stoop. Valerie patted her pockets and retrieved a small notepad from her back pocket, one she used to take orders with at the pub when she worked the front. She thought for a moment, and scribbled the following onto the sheet of paper, 

“To the Poplar Library, a donation. From the Black Sail Pub.”

Valerie tucked the note into the box, crossing her fingers that no scoundrel would run off with the package in the middle of the night and it would remain there for them to find in the morning. She grabbed the hand truck and headed home.

###### 

A few days passed, and Valerie was back at the pub, busy passing drinks out around the bar. The workday for the dock workers had been done for quite some time but Wednesday was their payday, and therefore it was the pub’s busiest day of the week. 

It was still early, around 8 o’clock. Valerie had her back turned to the crowd as she sorted some tabs. She had forgotten about her midnight donation earlier in the week, until she heard a familiar kind voice from behind her. 

‘Well, if it isn’t the step ladder fairy.’ 

Valerie turned on her heel, her eyes landing on Lucille. The woman looked back at her with narrow eyes, small smile playing on her features, arms crossed. Valerie's breath caught in her throat, her heart thumped in her chest. She barely registered that Lucille was standing at the bar with three other women. 

‘Was it really you that left the step ladders?’ asked the woman next to Lucille. She was small and mousey, everything Valerie imagined a librarian would be. 

‘It was quite kind of you,’ said the other. She was the same height as Valerie, her hair curly.

‘If so, well done!’ said the tall one next to her. She pushed her glasses up her nose, ‘Not that I need them, of course, but I know the others were having just a terribly awful time reaching for the books up high with what we had. I daresay, deathtraps, the old ones are. An accident waiting to happen. I certainly would have helped when they needed but sorry to say I can’t be everywhere at once, now can I?’ 

Valerie blinked at the taller woman, slightly amused at her blathering. 

‘Um…’ Valerie felt rather like a deer in headlights. She felt a hot blush crawl up her face as four sets of eyes bore into her. 

‘Deathtraps is right. Valerie here saved me from a near certain death a few weeks ago!’ Lucille exclaimed to the others, and Valerie immediately recalled the moment Lucille quite literally fell into her arms. Valerie's gaze turned towards the ceiling because she certainly was not remembering Lucille's breasts pressed against her face and she most certainly was not going to look anywhere in their direction. 

‘I heard! Evangelina was sorely miffed about the ruckus you two created. She only talked about it for several days after,’ the smaller one said, rolling her eyes. 

‘Oh, Valerie, sorry, these are my co-workers, Cynthia, Jenny, and Chummy.’ 

‘How do you do?’ asked Jenny. Cynthia nodded politely, and Chummy reached across the bar, grasping Valerie’s right hand and shaking it enthusiastically. 

‘Just splended to meet you Valerie!’ she exclaimed. 

Valerie smiled, composing herself slightly when Chummy let go of the grasp on her hand, ‘Pleasure to meet you all… Um,’ she looked around for a moment, ‘can I interest you in a drink? Maybe some supper? The kitchen is open until ten.’ 

‘Oh, I’d quite like that,’ Cynthia said softly, turning to the others and nodding in agreement. 

‘Yes I’ve heard the food here is quite spectacular,’ Chummy interjected. 

Valerie placed a menu in front of each of them, only pausing when Lucille gently rested her hand over hers. Valerie looked up, her jaw clenching when saw Lucille's face mere inches away from hers. That gentle lavender scent filled her senses again, making her heart flutter pleasantly in her chest. 

‘So it really was you, then?’ Lucille asked, her voice soft, gaze inquiring. 

Valerie smiled shyly and nodded, ‘I found some extras just laying around. Figured you needed them more than we did.’ 

Lucille smiled, her grip on Valerie's hand tightening just a bit, ‘Thank you, that was very kind of you.’ 

Valerie smiled and let out a shaky breath, ‘Anytime…’ she trailed off, finding herself counting freckles. She blinked and shook her head slightly, composing herself when Lucille moved her hand away. 

‘So, um, do you know what you would like… for supper?’ 

Lucille leaned back and blinked, finally looking down and noticing the menu in front of her, ‘Oh! Um, well,’ her eyes scanned the paper in front of her, ‘gosh, you have a lot of options.’ 

Valerie leaned on the bar, resting on her elbows, her eyes on the menu in front of Lucille, ‘Well, what kinds of things do you like?’

‘Oh, I like a bit of everything, but,’ she smirked, ‘I’ve never been in here before,’ she looked up at Valerie through heavy eyes, her smile teasing. 

Was she flirting? Valerie thought. 

‘I guess you could say I’m a bit of a blank slate,’ Lucille continued with a wink, ‘Can you recommend anything?’

Wow, she’s totally flirting with me. 

Valerie smiled, a blush feathering across her cheeks as she recalled their last encounter in the library. 

‘I can recommend a lot of things…’ she trailed off, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ear. She leaned forward on her elbows again and looked down at the menu with Lucille. She noted how close together they were, and was thankful she didn’t have stale cigarette breath this time.

‘My Aunt is a fantastic chef and you really can’t go wrong with anything on here, but,’ she pointed to the steak and ale pie, ‘I would launch a thousand ships for this dish right here. It’s absolutely the best.’ 

Lucille leaned back, smiling, ‘Well, I certainly can’t say no with a glowing review like that, can I?’ 

Valerie grinned, and took down the order from the three women next to Lucille.

‘Oh! I think a table’s opened up back in the corner,’ Jenny said, her neck craning to see over the crowd of mostly dock workers. 

Chummy’s look grew determined, ‘I’m on it,’ she said before pushing her glasses up her nose once more and plowing through the crowd like a rugby player. The three others followed close behind and Lucille gave one last toothy grin to Valerie before she was swallowed up by the crowd of men, their presence immediately replaced by a gaggle of others wanting to get a drink from the bar. 

The encounter had Valerie feeling light on her feet. She caught a good wind and knocked out drink after drink in quick succession from the customers who were happy with the quick service. 

Some time passed and there was finally a gap in customers, giving her enough time to go around to the other end of the bar where she was able to catch sight of Lucille and the others sitting at their table in the corner, all happily eating their supper. 

She caught the eye of Lucille and gave her an enquiring look. Lucille caught on and happily held up her empty plate, closing her eyes and kissing her fingers. Valerie laughed, finding herself overwhelmingly happy that Lucille enjoyed her dinner, and turned back to the front of the bar where she noticed a group of men walk in. All blonde haired and blue eyed in buttoned down shirts and guffawing like a bunch of idiots. 

These were lads, and Valerie groaned internally. 

They ordered several rounds of shots, becoming progressively more obnoxious after each one. The lot of them finally ordered a pint each and took their time nursing it to allow for Valerie to tend to other customers at the bar. She couldn’t help but overhear their bloviating. 

‘So where’s the slag you talked about. Certainly not the one behind the bar?’

‘No, mate, this one’s older and used up.’ 

Valerie felt her eye twitch. 

‘Oh, the one over there? Are you sure?’

‘Yeah, that’s her in the blue dress.’ 

Valerie watched as all eyes turned towards the other end of the bar where her mother was sitting with a dock worker, laughing heartily at something he said into her ear. 

One of the lads let out a groan of disgust, ‘You’re fucking joking, mate. The inside of her mouth looks like a fucking cemetary after an earthquake.’ 

The one in the middle smirked, ‘Trust me, buy her a few pints and she’ll open her legs for ya. Just ignore her god awful mouth.’

‘Yeah, just turn her over so you don’t have to look her in the bleeding face,’ the group laughed and clinked their glasses. 

‘Alright, I’m going over. Wish me luck,’ said one of them. There was a chorus of ‘cheers’ and he separated from the group. 

Valerie glared daggers at the one in the middle who seemed to be the ringleader. 

‘Guess we should have told him to wear a condom,’ said one of the men next to him. 

‘The prick knows what he’s doing. If his dick falls off it’s his own fault,’ he chugged his beer and Valerie noticed something catch his attention in the back of the room. He put his empty glass on the bar and made his way towards the back corner where Valerie knew Lucille and her friends were sitting. His friends followed. 

A sinking feeling washed over Valerie and she came out from behind the bar, making a beeline towards the back. She could already see the one in the front leaning over the table, supposedly talking to Jenny. She could hear them as she approached. 

‘Jimmy, seriously, I’ve told you I’m not interested.’ 

‘Come on, Jenny, just one drink,’ he leaned over and placed a hand on the table to steady himself. The prick was already drunk. 

‘No, Jimmy,’ she said through clenched teeth, ‘I’m just trying to have a night out with my friends. Besides, after the way you behaved last time I don’t even know why you’re bothering to talk to me right now.’ 

Jimmy swayed on his feet, ‘Maybe it’s because I didn’t think you could be any more of a frigid bitch, but you’re certainly proving me wrong right now.’ 

Jenny glared at him, her face growing red as his friends snickered behind him. 

‘I say, maybe it is time we headed out,’ Chummy offered hopefully. 

Jimmy looked up at her, shocked, ‘My god,’ he blinked several times at Chummy, ‘I thought youse was a man!’ 

His friends laughed and Jenny looked appalled, holding up her hands, ‘You know what Jimmy, just fuck off, alright? I don’t know how to spell it out more plainly for you, you fucking prick. I don’t want to see you.’ 

‘Aw, Jenny, I’m hurt. I’ve never heard you swear like that before,’ he looked back at his friends with mock concern, ‘I think she’s pissed at me,’ they chuckled, ‘what should I do?’

‘I think you can get the fuck right out of my pub,’ Valerie interjected. 

Jimmy scoffed, looking back at her with glassy eyes, ‘What do you care? This isn’t any of your business.’ 

‘Yeah well I’m making it my business. Stop bothering my customers and fuck off.’ 

Jimmy swayed where he stood, ‘Oh fuck off, you nosy bitch. Why don’t you suck my cock, eh?’ He asserted his suggestion by grabbing himself, and Val leaned on her foot, placing a hand on her hip. 

‘Alright.’ she said. 

‘Huh?’

‘I said ‘alright’, she tilted her head, her eyes locked on him, ‘I’ll suck your cock. Now. Right here in the pub, in front of all your mates.’

‘Valerie,’ Jenny started, but stopped herself when Valerie gently raised her hand and gave her a reassuring nod. Her time in the military made her well practiced in calling horny boys out on their bullshit. 

Jimmy scoffed, looking back at his friends, ‘She’s full of shit.’ 

‘What are you waiting for?’ Valerie exclaimed, acting as if her patience was growing thin, ‘I haven’t got all night. Come on then, let’s see the goods!’ 

One of Jimmy’s friends shoved him forward, ‘Go on then, mate! Show her your cock!’ There was a chorus of agreement from the rest of the boys behind him and Jimmy sniffed. 

‘Alright,’ he unbuckled his belt, ‘here you go.’ 

Valerie glanced at the table next to her. Both Cynthia and Jenny had their hands over their eyes, Cynthia to protect her modesty and Jenny because she seemed to want to be swallowed up by the earth where she sat. Chummy and Lucille looked on with a mixture of intrigue and disgust that this was actually happening in front of them. 

Jimmy had his hand down his pants, stalling. He stared intently, brows furrowed and thin lipped, at Valerie, whose gaze was unwavering. 

Jimmy’s lip curled and he tisked dismissively, looking away and zipping his trousers back up. 

‘Forget it. I bet you give shitty head anyway,’ he snapped. 

‘Yeah, and I bet all the women you’ve ever been with could say the same about you,’ she waved him off as he turned and walked past his friends who soon followed, laughing after him. 

She ran a hand through her hair as she turned back to the table, ‘Bloody hell, what a fucking bellend that prick was.’ 

Jenny finally emerged from behind her hands, ‘Valerie, I am so sorry. I had no idea he even knew about this place.’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘No worries. I could spot him and his mates from a mile away coming in here to start something shitty. Just glad he’s finally fucked off.’ 

Valerie looked over towards Cynthia, who had turned beet red. She leaned down, addressing Lucille, ‘Is she going to be alright?’ 

Lucille shrugged, leaning in close and whispering, ‘That was a close call. I don’t think she’s ever seen one in real life before.’ 

Valerie whispered back, ‘Well she certainly isn’t missing much, I think.’ 

Lucille grinned, and the two leaned in close to one another, giggling. 

‘Oh dear, I think it’s time to take Cynthia home before she passes out,’ Chummy said, placing an arm around the smaller woman.

‘I’m alright!’ Cynthia cried, ‘Just shocked, that’s all.’ 

‘I’ll pay for our food, Valerie,’ Jenny said, reaching into her purse. 

Valerie stood up straight, sighing, ‘You know what, it’s alright. Supper’s on me.’ 

A chorus of refusals filled her ears, but she shook her head, waving them off. 

‘No, no, I insist. Someone comes in here and almost exposes themselves to a group of unwitting guests and the landlord pays for dinner. House rules. No exceptions.’ 

The four tentatively glanced at each other. Chummy was the first to rise. 

‘Very kind of you, old bean. I must say this evening has certainly proved to be an interesting one. I do hope we can meet again soon without any other, erm, inappropriate interruptions.’ 

Chummy helped Cynthia out of her seat, the woman seemingly more composed, ‘Yes, thank you. Dinner was absolutely lovely other than the… you know.’ She turned beet red again, and Chummy placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, leading her towards the entrance of the pub. 

‘Really, thank you,’ Jenny said, rising from her seat and placing a hand on Valerie's arm, ‘I’m so sorry Jimmy came in here and did something like that. I’ll make sure he stays away from here,’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘I doubt he’ll want to show his face in here any time soon. More importantly I hope he stays away from you.’ 

‘I think you calling him out on his bullshit may have done the trick,’ she winked, ‘thanks again for the step ladders,’ she added before turning towards the door. 

Valerie looked back to find Lucille standing close to her. She had her arms crossed, her eyelids heavy, a small smirk on her lips. 

‘What time do you get off work?’ she asked. Valerie was taken aback by the sudden question. 

‘Um, I don’t know. The crowd is dying down so I imagine I can be out of here in about an hour or so. Why?’

Lucille shrugged and brushed past her, ‘No reason,’ she looked back over her shoulder at Valerie, smiling as she followed Jenny out the door. 

Valerie stood there, perplexed, her body unresponsive while her mind raced a mile a second trying to interpret what just transpired. She was only knocked out of her thoughts when a drunken dock worker dropped his glass and it smashed against the floor.

###### 

It was almost midnight when the pub was finally empty and Maggie released Valerie for the evening. The last hour or so had dragged on and on for Valerie as the crowd filtered out and only a few stragglers remained at the bar, nursing their drinks and chatting. 

Valerie patted her pocket as she walked out the front door, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and beating it against her hand. She pulled a cigarette out with her mouth and used her other hand to remove the lighter she kept in there. She flicked the lighter, and it sparked, but produced no flame. She flicked it again and again to no avail. She was so engrossed that she didn’t hear someone quickly approaching from down the street, their footsteps loud against the asphalt. The runner rounded the corner and almost crashed into Valerie, but stopped merely inches away, their hands coming to grip Valerie’s arms. 

Startled, the lighter Valerie was holding flew up in the air and she fumbled to catch it, clasping it with both hands. Valerie stared wide eyed with the cigarette dangling from her lips as Lucille stared back at her. 

‘Hi,’ Lucille said, breathless.

Valerie quickly brought her hand up and yanked the cigarette from her mouth. She smiled timidly, ‘Hello.’ 

Valerie watched as Lucilles eyes darted back and forth taking her in, her grip on Valerie’s arms unrelenting. Lucille licked her lips and then backed away, smiling shyly. Valerie's face suddenly felt hot. 

‘Hi,' Lucille said again, a bit more composed, 'I’m glad I caught you,’ she shifted on her feet and Valerie smirked at her choice of words. Her hands finally released their grip and swayed at her sides, ‘Sorry, were you about to have a cigarette?’ 

Valerie shook her head, sliding the cigarette back in the pack.

‘Nope,’ she said. No cigarette breath for her tonight. 

‘You can, I don’t mind, really.’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Nah, I’m trying to cut back anyway.’

Lucille nodded and Valerie stuck her hands in her pockets. She bit her lip as she watched Lucille shyly look anywhere but at her. 

‘You’re out a bit late for a school night,’ Valerie started, looking at Lucille inquiringly. 

Lucille smiled, taking a big breath of air, ‘Oh, I’m too full of energy this evening to fall asleep, really. And besides,’ she paused, seemingly searching for words, ‘I wanted to come back and thank you for everything.’

‘Oh, really, it was nothing,’ Valerie said, bashfully. 

‘No, I insist! First it was the ladders, then scaring off that awful man, and then treating us all to supper? Honestly, I can’t let another moment go by without doing something to thank you.’ 

Valerie closed her eyes and sighed, shrugging. She looked back at Lucille when she felt the woman place a hand on her arm. Her thumb gently brushed against Valerie’s skin and it had her heart thumping rapidly in her chest. 

‘Please?’ Lucille asked softly. 

Valerie bit her lip, her heart melting slightly. She immediately missed the soft touch when Lucille pulled away. 

‘What, um…’ Valerie was still recovering, ‘What did you have in mind?’ 

A fantasy flashed in Valerie’s mind of Lucille thanking her with a kiss, and she found herself leaning forward slightly. 

‘Falafel?’

Her kissing fantasy disappeared with a ‘poof!’ but falafel was definitely going to be her second choice. 

‘Are you hungry? There’s this place not too far away, Chick P City, have you been? They have the most amazing street food.’ Lucille’s eyes brightened at the thought. 

Valerie shrugged, laughing slightly, ‘Actually, no. I eat here for free so I haven’t really been out anywhere else recently… but I’d love to try it.’ 

‘I can certainly understand why. I would eat here every day too with the way your Aunt cooks.’

‘I take it the steak and ale pie didn’t fill you up though?’ Valerie winked. 

‘Oh, it did, but I always have room for falafels. Come on, then,’ Lucille smiled, turning on her heel and walking down the street. Valerie followed close. The two eventually fell in step next to each other, happily chatting away, and Valerie tried not to get tongue tied when her arm would brush against Lucille’s.

###### 

Valerie balled up the crinkly wrapper her falafel had come in and placed it in the white and red checkered paper basket that sat on the bench between her and Lucille, who was finishing up her own falafel, licking her fingers clean of tahini sauce. 

Valerie draped her arm over the back of the bench and looked out onto the water. The moonlight flickered in the ripples and Valerie sighed contently as a calm breeze kicked up and cooled her skin. She looked over and saw that Lucille was looking out onto the water as well, and she smiled, happy that she was sharing this quiet moment with her. 

‘It’s so pretty here,’ Lucille said wistfully. 

Valerie snickered, ‘Says the woman from an island paradise.’ 

Lucille looked over at her and giggled, ‘A different kind of pretty.’ She looked back out and sighed, ‘Though I do miss seeing the stars at night. There’s too much light here to see any.’ 

Valerie looked at the sky, ‘What do you mean? There’s at least three right there.’ 

Lucille laughed, ‘Val, those are planets. Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, to be precise,’ she finished, matter of factly. 

Valerie looked at her perplexed, ‘How do you… so what, you just go around knowing what planets are up there at any given time?’

Lucille smiled teasingly, ‘What, you can’t tell which planets they are just by looking at them?’ 

Valerie looked at the three white dots in the sky and then back over to Lucille, ‘You have telescopes for eyes or something?’ 

‘No, but I do have this really cool app,’ she held up her phone and Valerie scoffed. 

‘Oh, you cheater. You had me going there for a moment. Here I was thinking you just knew everything and turns out you’re just a regular person who looks things up.’ 

‘You mean like a librarian?’ she quipped, and Valerie smiled. 

Lucille opened the app on her phone and moved their rubbish out of the way, scooting closer to Valerie. 

With her arm draped over the back of the bench, Valerie felt Lucile settle in to the crook of her shoulder, the length of their bodies barely touching. Ears suddenly hot and heart thumping at the sweet scent of lavender, Valerie hoped that Lucille had no idea what she was doing to her.

Lucille held up her phone in front of them, pointing towards the sky. The screen became lit with an atlas of the stars. 

‘Look at them all. This is what we’re missing out on,’ she tilted her phone and the atlas changed. Little word bubbles popped up on screen when specific stars and constellations were located. The outline of a harp appeared. 

‘Which one is that? Lyra?’ Valerie asked, her eyes moving from the screen to the sky in front of her. She strained her eyes to make out any stars in the black sky but couldn’t find any. 

‘Yes, and look,’ she tilted her phone, ‘Sagittarius and Scorpius are out, too.’ 

Lucille took her thumb and index finger and swiped her screen, zooming in on Mars. A list of facts and statistics about the red planet cropped up. 

‘You know, that’s a pretty cool app. What’s it called?’ Valerie asked, pulling out her own phone. She pressed the button at the bottom to activate the screen but it remained black. 

‘Oh, bugger, my phone is dead…’ she looked over at Lucille, a lightbulb suddenly going off over her head, ‘Can you text it to me so I don’t forget?’ 

Valerie met Lucille's smirk with a toothy grin. 

Smooth as butter, Val. 

‘Sure, here,’ Lucille handed Valerie her phone, ‘give me your number and I’ll send it to you.’ 

Valerie typed in her number and handed the phone back to Lucille, who snapped a photo of Valerie. 

‘Oi, what’d you do that for?’

Lucille reached up and lighty pinched Valerie's cheek, ‘So I can see this pretty face whenever I text you.’ 

Valerie playfully batted her hand away, ‘Oh, I look awful. Been working all day.’ She looked away and ran her fingers through her short hair, her cheeks growing hot. 

‘You’re fine,’ her gaze lingered on Valerie for just a moment before she blacked the screen on her phone and put it away, a small smile never leaving her face. 

Feeling rather shy all of a sudden, Valerie looked back out at the water, her hand fidgeting with a loose string from the hole in her jeans at the knee. 

‘So,’ Lucille started, and Valerie looked up at her, ‘have you had a chance to read the book?’

Valerie smiled bashfully, ‘Oh, yes, I didn’t think I would understand it at all honestly, but I quite liked it. Read through it twice already, actually.’ 

‘Really?’ Lucille smiled, turning towards Valerie, ‘What did you like about it?’ 

Valerie thought for a moment, shyly biting her lip, ‘It’s… well, I certainly appreciate how the author was able to explain everything in layman's terms. He seems to be quite a gifted educator, as you mentioned before.’ 

‘Isn’t he just?’ Lucille sighed dreamily, ‘I love how he articulates the human journey of evolving consciousness and a scientific method to understand the beauty of the natural world.’ 

Valerie stared at her, amused, ‘Do you get this doey eyed over normal people or just scientists?’ 

Lucile laughed, ‘I have a deep passion for books and learning, you should know.’

‘I’ve gathered,’ Valerie smiled, finding her quite charming. She continued on, ‘Well, I’ve certainly come out from it with a newfound understanding and appreciation of the universe, if nothing else. Makes me almost want to take an astronomy class. Almost.’ 

‘You should do it if you’re drawn to it. Who knows, you could fall in love and be the next great astronomer who, I don’t know, figures out what dark matter really is!’

‘I take it you’re also a staunch proponent for higher education, as well?’ 

‘Of course I am! You know,’ she said, bringing a finger to her chin, ‘I’ve never taken an astronomy course before either,’ she turned to Valerie smiling, ‘if you signed up for one I would take it with you.’

Valerie’s eyebrows shot up, ‘You would?’ 

‘Mmhmm,’ Lucille nodded enthusiastically, ‘I think it would be fun!’ 

Valerie simply gave a lopsided smile, thinking any course she took with Lucille she would certainly fail from far too much daydreaming. 

‘I’ll think about it,’ she said shyly when Lucille gave her a happy smile.

‘So, um,’ she started, the quiet of the night reminding her of the first time they met at the library, ‘how have you been getting on with being here in Poplar? I remember you saying it was a bit of an adjustment?’

Lucille looked back out towards the water and sighed, nodding, ‘Yes, and it still is, I suppose,’ Her hand came up to clutch at something on the chain that hung around her neck and disappeared under her shirt, ‘Don’t get me wrong. Everyone here has been so kind to me, so eager to help me settle in these past few months. I really like the friends I’ve made, it’s just…I still feel as if I don’t quite… fit in here. In Poplar.’

Valerie looked at her concerned, something within her wanted to fix this problem immediately, ‘How do you mean?’

Lucille opened her mouth and closed it again, searching for her words, ‘I don’t know, I suppose I’m having trouble finding my spiritual home here.’ 

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘Spiritual? You mean like a church?’ 

Lucille glanced over towards her and nodded. 

‘You’re religious?’ Valerie’s tone came out a bit more incredulous than she expected. 

Lucille smirked, eyebrow raised, ‘Why the tone of surprise?’

Valerie shrugged, scratching the back of her head, ‘I just assumed… I don’t know, based on the book you gave me to read. I figured you would be more inclined towards science and not… um...’

Valerie suddenly found herself very conflicted and struggling for words. How do you tell someone you like that you completely and fundamentally disagree with them about something? She tried to choose her words carefully, but, 

‘And not… not-science?’ She finished her sentence slowly, cringing inwardly, hoping she didn’t sound like a complete idiot or an ass. 

Still smirking, Lucille crossed her arms, ‘I can be a person of faith and also embrace science.’ Her tone was playful, but challenging. 

Valerie hummed acknowledgingly and nodded her head, unsure of what to say. Conversations like this never went well, in her experience, and she certainly didn’t want to say anything to offend Lucille. 

‘I take it you don’t believe in God?’ Lucille asked, her gaze inquiring. 

Valerie took a deep breath through her nose picked at her jeans again. She rocked her head side to side, considering her words. Best to be honest and get it out if he way from the start, she thought. 

‘No, I don’t,’ she continued to fidget nervously, her hand coming to scratch the back of her head, ‘I’ve never been a spiritual person. Never really agreed with organized religion as a whole…’ 

Lucille placed her hands under her knees, her legs swinging back and forth on the bench. She shrugged while looking back out at the water. 

‘Honestly I have a very broad interpretation of God. I don’t believe God is a giant man in the sky with a long beard telling people not to wear leather or something. But I mean, I’m not quite ready to rule out the theory that that there isn’t some kind of creator out there who,’ she gestured with her hands, ‘who didn’t create all of this. Us, the earth, the universe.’ 

Valerie nodded slowly, speaking softly, ‘I’m perfectly fine thinking that we are all just here randomly without the help of some creator,’ she said, still rather shy, ‘I just think… billions of years ago, a star died to give us life.’ 

‘You could very well be right. I just want to be open to all theories,’ she smiled reassuringly, and Valerie felt calm. 

‘So is it just church then, that’s making you feel like you don’t fit in?’ Valerie asked softly. 

Lucille nodded, and Valerie noticed her smile turn from one of mirth to one of sadness. 

She closed her eyes, sighing, ‘I feel so terrible saying so, since everyone has been nothing but friendly to me, but yes.’ 

‘Where do you go now?’ Valerie asked. 

‘Well, when I moved here and didn’t know anyone, Cynthia kind of took me under her wing and brought me to her anglican church on Manchester Road.’

Valerie nodded, and it finally clicked with her what Lucille possibly meant by not ‘fitting in’. There was a certain common denominator between the anglicans that attended that church and Cynthia that Valerie could see Lucille did not possess. 

‘I think I know what you mean…’ she trailed off, watching Lucille cover her mouth as she let out a big yawn. 

‘Oh, my, I guess I’ve kept you out way past your bedtime,’ Valerie smirked. 

Lucille shook her head, ‘Sorry, my tummy is full and I’m just so warm and comfortable here.’ 

She leaned back on the bench and rested against Valerie's shoulder. Valerie tried not to smile too wide as Lucille's curly hair tickled her cheek. 

The hand that had been draped over the back of the bench finally found itself properly wrapped around Lucille's shoulders. 

Valerie gave her a gentle squeeze, ‘Come on then. Let’s get you home.’ 

She stood and offered her hands to a tired Lucille, who gladly took them. Valerie pulled her to a standing position and shyly placed her hands in her pockets while Lucille stretched. 

‘Do you live nearby? I can walk with you if you like.’ 

Lucille smiled, nodding. She linked her arm through Valeries and pulled her towards the road, ‘Come on, this way.’ 

Valerie happily let Lucille pull her along, and the two fell in step with each other, walking along in a comfortable silence. 

Soon, they approached a block of brick townhomes, all identical except for the little personal touches the owners had on their front stoop. A hand painted chair, a wind chime, little stickers in the windows. Lucille stopped them in front of a home with beautiful potted plants placed on each step of the stoop. The streetlight made the red door almost glow. 

‘This’ll be me then,’ she said, looking up at Valerie, ‘Will you be alright getting home?’ 

‘Oh, I’ll be fine. I don’t live too far from here and I walk home alone at two in the morning just about every night. I can manage,’ she gave a reassuring smile to Lucille's unnerved one. 

Lucille rested her forehead on Valerie’s shoulder, ‘Oh, I wish you hadn’t told me that. Now I’ll be worried about you every night.’ 

The butterflies in Valerie's stomach fluttered so fierce she had to open her mouth and let them out through a hearty laugh, ‘Really, I’ll be alright!’ 

Lucille pulled away and looked at Valerie with heavy eyes, ‘Will you text me when you get home? So I know you made it safe?’

Valerie blushed, completely enamored with the woman next to her, ‘Yes, I promise.’ 

Lucille gave a sleepy smile before taking Valerie's hand in hers. They looked at each other silently for a moment, and Valerie’s heart pounded in her chest. Lucille gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

‘Goodnight then.’ 

Valerie reciprocated with a shy smile, ‘Goodnight,’ and placed her hand back in her pocket. 

She only turned and started walking once Lucille was safely inside. There was a small kick in her step as she turned the corner back onto the main road. She was vaguely aware that she had a goofy smile on her face as she walked. Her hand idly came up and touched the same cheek that Lucille had pinched earlier after she had taken her picture. The thought made Valerie smile. 

Something laying precariously in the middle of the road caught Valerie’s eye. A lumpy brown hessian sack tied at the end. 

Valerie’s walking slowed to a halt, her hand came back down to her side, the smile fading from her face as she stared at it. 

Her eyebrows furrowed, her stare intense as a feeling of anxiety rose within her. 

‘It’s a bag of sand,’ she said quietly to herself. Her heart was pounding, ‘it’s a bag of sand…’ 

Definitely not an IED. No. 

But if so, what the bloody hell was it doing there in the middle of the fucking street?? 

Her stare unwavering, she took out her pack of cigarettes from her back pocket and pulled one out with her mouth. She flicked the lighter, mumbling to herself as it sparked to life, ‘Just a bloody bag of sand.’ 

She took a long drag of her cigarette, her eyes darting around quickly scanning her surroundings. Why the fuck was it just laying there by itself? Were there others? Was she unknowingly near some construction site? Some flood prone area? 

There were no similar bags lying about that she could see and there wasn’t another soul in site. 

‘Probably fell off the back of a truck or something,’ Valerie tried reasoning with herself as she turned and continued walking, mumbling, ‘It’s a bag of sand. It’s a bag of sand. It’s just fucking sand...’

She bloody well knew that bombings and attacks weren’t sequestered to the part of the world where she had spent the last 18 months, but she couldn’t go through life running at the sight of every sandbag, package, cargo van or god knows what else. She puffed away at her cigarette, pulling out another and lighting it when she smoked the first one down to the filter. Her hands shook with adrenaline as she flicked the lighter. 

She walked briskly, puffing away until she reached her door and tossed the cigarette butt in the empty flower pot next to her stoop. She only stopped, both mentally and physically, when she shut the door behind her and rested against it. 

She closed her eyes and breathed heavily through her nose, in and out, her chest rising and falling with each breath.

‘You are home, you are safe, you are home, you are safe,’ she repeated this mantra to herself softly out loud. Eventually, her anxiety melted away, and she felt calm again. 

Her eyes fluttered open when she felt Nikki weave herself between her legs, her little head rubbing against her shoe. 

Valerie scooped her up and held her close to her chest, kissing her lightly between the eyes as she quietly carried her upstairs to her room. 

‘You’re perfect, you know that?’ She whispered to Nikki when the cat softly purred against her. 

Valerie placed Nikki on her bed and plugged in her phone, placing it to rest on her bedside table. She kicked off her shoes and tossed her clothing into the bin in the closet, collapsing in bed wearing only a fresh T-shirt and underwear. 

She closed her eyes and took a few more deep breaths, her body slowly relaxing and wanting to succumb to sleep. 

The phone next to her glowed to life again and chirped several times. Valerie cracked open and eye and held her phone over her head. Several text messages from a new number came in. 

>> Sky Guide. 

>> That’s the name if the app. 

>> This is Lucille by the way. 

>> Don’t forget to text me when you get home!

>> Thank you, again. For everything. 

>> You’re a really sweet girl, Valerie, you know that?

Valerie dropped her phone on her face, the smack of the screen against her forehead caused Nikki to look up. 

‘God damn it,’ she swore, deleting the random letters punched in by her nose. 

She read the last text over and over again, a tired smile gracing her features as those butterflies in her stomach frantically fluttered again. 

<< Who, me? You should probably go to sleep, you’re beginning to sound delirious. 

Lucille shortly texted back. 

>> Yes, you. 

>> You’re texting me so that must mean you made it home alright. I can sleep now.

Lucille sent an emoji of a face sleeping, little ‘zzz’ over his head. 

Valerie smiled at her phone, finding it overwhelmingly endearing that Lucille thought enough of her to wait up for her. She wanted to keep chatting but decided not to deprive the poor woman of sleep any longer. She simply texted back,

<< Thanks for the lovely evening. Sweet dreams. 

Valerie placed her phone back on the nightstand and turned to stare at the ceiling. Several moments passed and her phone remained silent. She assumed Lucille had finally fallen asleep. 

Rolling over, Valerie grabbed one of her pillows and hugged it to her body, her face pressing into the cool cloth as she recalled events from the evening. Meeting Lucille’s friends, telling off that one prick, and then spending those few precious hours alone with her. 

Valerie closed her eyes with the smallest smile on her face as she thought of freckles and the stars, a beautiful smile and a hand holding hers, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter melted a few hearts. The angst is coming up next, so hang tight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valerie's Saturday starts out wonderfully with Lucille, until she receives a phone call about a friend that no one ever wants to get. Drinking to cope with the news, she's walked home from the pub by Lucille and lets off some steam about her predicament in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger Warning for Suicide**
> 
> This chapter also touches on depression and PTSD.

The pitter patter of rain against her window woke Valerie Saturday morning. She cracked an eye open, her room lit with the soft gray daylight through the window. She imagined it to be late in the morning and a quick glance on her phone told her she was right, it was nearly 11.

She sighed, her heart sinking a little when her phone showed only the time, and no new messages. Since they had exchanged numbers Wednesday evening, she and Lucille had been chatting non-stop, it was hard to put her phone down for several hours on her shifts at the pub. All she wanted to do was talk to Lucille and get to know her. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this excited to just talk with someone, waking up smiling in the mornings, checking her phone first thing. It was addictive. 

Valerie put her phone down and rubbed her eyes, stretching, thinking now would be a good time for a shower. She had been a bit more motivated to be more keen on her physical appearance since she and Lucille started chatting, on the off chance that she would bump into her again. After a quick shower and a brush of her teeth, Valerie trekked back to her room, throwing on some clean undies. She checked her phone out of habit, and delightfully found that Lucille had sent her a text. 

>> Morning! Hopefully I’m not waking you. 

Valerie smiled and paced her room, texting back. 

<< Not at all. How’s your day?

Valerie put her phone down to get dressed, digging through her chest of drawers for some clean trousers, but finding none. She picked up a pair of jeans from Nikki’s laundry nest and pulled them on after they passed the sniff test. She would definitely spend some time on her Sunday off doing laundry, she promised herself. It was about time to clean things up a bit here. 

She put on a bra and picked her phone back up when it chirped again. 

>> Well it was going alright until I got stuck in the rain! 

>> I popped out for lunch and it started pouring! I’m waiting it out at the bus stop. 

Valerie ran a hand through her wet hair, thinking. She texted back.

<< Which one? Where are you?

She had on a t-shirt and sneakers by the time her phone chirped again. 

>> The one on Chrisps street, I think. By the post office. 

Valerie quickly texted back

<< Don’t move. 

She shoved her phone in her back pocket and galloped down the steps, only stopping to grab the retractable umbrella from the closet by the front door. She bounded down the street, not caring about the rain nor about the enormous amounts of water she was kicking up around her with each step pounding against the pavement. A few more streets and she turned the corner, spotting Lucille where she said she was, seeking shelter at the bus stop. Valerie's breath caught in her throat at the sight of her. She had not seen her with her own eyes in nearly three days, and that was a terribly long time to have been apart, Valerie thought. 

She slowed to a walk, opening the umbrella and holding it over herself. She looked over at Lucille and took her in. Valerie could see she was idly scrolling through her phone with one hand and holding a half eaten wrap in the other. She was wearing her signature ‘library’ outfit of a cardigan, skinny jeans, and sensible slip on shoes. Her hair loosely pulled back, soft curls framing her face. Valerie smiled, thinking she always looked so cute. 

Lucille looked up mid bite through her wrap and her eyes widened at the sight of Valerie. She seemed embarrassed to have been caught eating, but Valerie just chuckled. 

Lucille looked away and swallowed her bite, ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked when she recovered, placing her phone in her back pocket. 

‘Thought you could use this,’ Valerie said, gesturing to the umbrella in her hand, ‘Have you been stuck here long?’

Lucille’s eyes went from Valerie to the umbrella, and back again, it slowly dawning on her just why Valerie had come.

‘I… no, not really,’ she smiled shyly, ‘but I hate that you troubled yourself to come out, I have to go back to work soon.’ 

Valerie grinned, ‘It’s no trouble. I’ll be happy to walk you back if you like,’ she leaned in and spoke quietly, ‘wouldn’t want to upset Evangelina coming back late from lunch, I assume?’

Lucille gave a knowing smile, ‘Definitely want to stay on her good side, but she’s a teddy bear deep down, you know.’ 

‘Is that so?’

Lucille closed her eyes and nodded, tucking under the umbrella and absentmindedly placing her hand in the crook of Valerie's arm as they started walking down the street. The warmth of Lucille's arm pressed against hers caused a blush to spread across her cheeks to the tips of her ears. Valerie looked forward, hoping Lucille didn’t take notice. 

‘Oh, yes,’ Lucille said, gingerly biting into her wrap again, her earlier shyness gone, ‘every afternoon she reads to the children that come in after school and she’s wonderful with them. I don’t think she’s ever had any of her own, but she certainly seems to have a soft spot for the little ones,’ 

‘And then, what,’ Valerie asked, ‘once they’re gone she just turns back into a regular bear?’ 

Lucille smiled, ‘Pretty much,’ she looked back at her half eaten wrap and sighed, ‘You know, I had high hopes for this, but I’m sorely disappointed.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘It’s a jerk chicken wrap from a Jamaican place around the corner. Thought I’d try to see if it was anything like home, but the spices aren’t quite right for my liking,’ she held up the wrap to Valerie, ‘would you like to try?’ 

Valerie half smiled and nodded, taking her left hand and placing it over Lucille's right, guiding the wrap to her mouth before taking a bite. She pulled away to see Lucille looking at her with half lidded eyes, biting her lip. 

‘Mmm! That’s hot!’ Valerie exclaimed with her mouth full, feeling tears form in the corner of her eyes. She shook her head as she swallowed her mouthful, ‘Blimey, it’s a wonder you can taste any of the seasoning at all!’ 

Lucille giggled, pulling Valerie closer to her, ‘I like it hot.’ 

‘No kidding, my god,’ she said, exaggerating wiping away tears from her eyes, ‘wow.’ 

Lucille smiled, looking back down at the wrap in her hand, ‘I think I can do better. I should make this for you at home sometime.’

‘You trying to kill me?’ Valerie joked, but found the thought of Lucille cooking something for her quite endearing. 

‘I think you can take it. Didn’t the army toughen you up a bit?’

‘Not my taste buds… if I have any left after that bite.’ 

‘Well if it does kill you, I’ll know it was hot enough.’ 

‘If your cooking kills me, I’ll die happy at least.’ 

Valerie looked over to Lucille, who wore a smile so big it almost reached her ears. 

‘Oh hush, you don’t even know if it’s any good’ Lucille quipped. 

‘Well I can’t wait to try it, then,’ Valerie said cheekily and Lucille giggled. 

Lucille covered up the uneaten portion of her wrap, tucking it against her thigh, sighing, ‘Oh well, at the very least I can have this as a snack for later.’ 

The two women walked in a comfortable silence the little way they had left to the library. Lucille stopped and turned to Valerie at the bottom of the steps to the front entrance. 

‘Thanks for walking me back.’ 

‘Anytime,’ Valerie said, holding out the umbrella to Lucille, ‘Why don’t you go ahead and hold onto this so you don’t have to walk home in the rain later.’ 

Lucille looked concerned, ‘No, I couldn’t. Then you'll have to walk in the rain.’ 

‘I don’t mind, see,’ Valerie ran her fingers through her hair, ‘it was already all wet when I came to get you. Besides, it’s warm out, the rain actually feels good.’ 

Valerie nudged the umbrella gently towards Lucille when she hesitated, ‘Really, I’ll be alright.’ 

Lucille smiled bashfully and took the umbrella, quietly saying, ‘Thank you.’ 

She turned slightly and walked up the steps towards the entrance. Before she entered the library, Lucille stopped on the top step and turned back to face Valerie. 

‘Are you working tonight?’ she asked. 

Valerie looked down, sighing, ‘Of course, it’s Saturday.’

‘Then I’ll stop by and return this,’ she said, holding up the umbrella, ‘and maybe have some supper.’ 

‘Seeing your pretty face amongst the crowd of unappealing regulars would be most welcome, I assure you.’ 

Lucille smiled slyly, ‘Oh, you think I’m pretty?’

Valerie smiled, clasping her hands behind her back and rocking on her heels slightly. 

‘Very.’ 

Valerie couldn’t help but give a toothy grin in response to the bashful look Lucille had on her face, the woman rendered speechless and blushing. She turned on her heel, looking back at Lucille before waving and walking away. She bit her lip to contain the excited laughter she knew wanted to escape, and walked along with her hands in her pockets. She damn near wanted to skip, she was so happy. 

Her heart was fluttering wonderfully in her chest as she walked down the streets of Poplar. She didn’t care that she was getting soaked in the rain, her hair and shirt growing dark and heavy with the water falling from the sky. She had just called Lucille pretty! And she liked it! She smiled! My how Valerie loved seeing that smile. She wondered how soon it would be before she could see it again. To be the cause of it. 

Valerie wondered how she should spend her afternoon before her shift. She was walking. She was hungry. She needed a drink after that incredibly hot wrap. Her tongue still tingled from the heat of the sauce. Oh, what the hell, to the pub. She could fill up on a Shepherd's pie and wash it down with a pint. Maybe her aunt needed help prepping food for the evening. She could get a few hours overtime if she wanted. 

Valerie’s phone chimed noisily from her pocket, pulling her from her thoughts. She pulled it out and looked at the screen quizzically. It flashed a number that was much too long to be local. 

‘An international call?’ Valerie mumbled to herself. Should she even answer? Was this a scammer? 

She took her chances and pressed the green button, tucking into a narrow alleyway between the brown brick houses to escape from the rain. 

‘Hello?’ She asked, unsure. 

‘Dyer?’ came a deep voice. An American. It seemed vaguely familiar. 

‘...yes?’ 

‘Dyer. It’s Malumay.’ His tone was serious. 

Valerie’s face lit up with recognition, ‘Malumay! Oh, wow, mate, how are you?’ 

‘I’m… I’m ok -‘

Valerie cut him off, excited, ‘Good to hear! Hope that leg has healed up alright. I take it you’re back up and walking around again, yeah? How did Paulo take it when you got back? Not too upset, I hope?’ 

Malumay seemed to let out an awkward laugh, sighing slightly, ‘Yeah, I’m up and walking around again. Have a bit of a limp though, but Paulo was just happy I came back alive. We’re doing just fine… but um,’ he paused for a moment, finding his words again, ‘Sorry to call you so early.’

‘What? No, no, it’s alright, it’s around noon here anyway.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ he sighed, ‘I’m used to California time and I’ve flown to Texas for the week.’

‘Oh, really?’ There was a sinking feeling in her chest. She knew of one person from Texas and it wasn’t Malumay. ‘No mate, it’s all good. What’s up? Why are you in Texas?’ The questions came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She paced in the alley with her hand on her hip, biting her tongue to get herself to shut up so Malumay could get a word in. 

‘Dyer…’ he trailed off, seemingly struggling to find the words, ‘things are…’ he sighed, ‘I’m here in Texas because of Shok,’ 

‘What’s happened,’ Valerie cut him off again. She could feel the muscles in her face grow tight. Her brows furrowed, her jaw clenched. The line remained silent and Valerie was growing impatient. 

‘Malumay… John,’ she said his first name more stern, ‘what’s happened to Shok?’ 

‘Um,’ Valerie could hear Malumay choke, stifling a sob, ‘I don’t know how else to say it, so I’m just going to say it.’

Valerie held her breath and braced for the worst. She listened intently. She could hear Malumay lick his lips and take a shaky breath before he spoke. 

‘Shok, um... Shok killed himself…’

Valerie’s grip on her phone tightened to prevent it from shaking. 

‘When?’ She breathed. 

‘Um… Last week,’ Malumay continued on the other line, ‘He… he shot himself in t-the head,’ Malumay sniffed, unable to hide his crying. 

Valerie’s face contorted into a mixture of pain and distress. She clenched her teeth to prevent a groan as she doubled over, her hand coming to her face to push her hair out of her eyes. She took a few steps back until her back was against the brick wall of the alley to hold her steady. 

‘Shit… shit…’ Valerie found herself saying through clenched teeth. She couldn’t think of anything else. She placed her hand on her knee to steady herself, feeling her heart hit the bottom of her stomach. 

‘I know you two had grown close while we were there,’ Malumay continued, ‘I… I’m sorry that this happened. I just wanted to… I wanted to make sure you knew.’ 

‘Fuck… no, Malumay,’ Valerie found herself saying, ‘What… I mean… how? Why? What happened?’ She choked out. 

She heard Malumay take a deep breath, composing himself, ‘He, uh… well I called him every few weeks after we got back, to check in, you know? See how he was doing… last I spoke with him was a few weeks ago. He was having trouble finding a job after he got out. He was still adjusting to losing his sight. The VA was supposed to put him in some kind of retraining program, but there was a waiting list.’

‘Was that… is that why?’ 

‘That was part of it, yeah. After a few weeks he was climbing the walls not being able to find a job, not being able to work.’

Oh, shit. Valerie knew the feeling. 

‘There was also… he told me he was having migraines, and hallucinating. I think it was because of the surgery he had back in Kandahar,’

‘Hallucinations? I… I remember the surgeon saying that was a side effect of his surgery. Did he go see someone? A doctor? A neurologist?’ 

‘He was trying to get an appointment, I think, to see someone about it. He mentioned there being a long wait with the VA, and he needed a referral.’ 

Valerie shook her head, hopelessness and anger beginning to mix with her grief and shock. 

‘Dyer, he… he was in a lot of pain. The migraines kept him from sleeping, and I think… I think the hallucinations freaked him out, you know? We saw some fucked up shit out there on our patrols. Even I have nightmares sometimes, but at least I can open my eyes and see I’m not there anymore.’

Valerie’s head hit the back of the wall, her hand covering her eyes with her thumb and middle finger squeezing her temples, ‘What about, um,’ she stuttered, struggling to think coherently, ‘what about Alice? Do you know? Was he still fighting for custody?’ 

‘As far as I know, but the way things were in the moment he was in no state to care for her.’

‘Is she alright though?’ 

‘Yes, I know the mother is completely out of the picture, but Alice is fine. Her grandparents brought her to the funeral, and she looked fine. She’s a healthy, happy girl. They’re taking good care of her, Dyer, don’t worry.’

The information didn’t make Valerie feel any better. 

‘Dyer, listen,’ Malumay said urgently, serious, ‘Are you… are you doing Ok since you’ve gotten out?’ 

Valerie scoffed, fighting back tears, ‘I… yeah, I’m alright. Still adjusting but not thinking of… you know, I wouldn’t…’ she couldn’t finish her sentence. 

‘Shok wasn’t like that either. I never would have thought…’ he trailed off and Valerie could tell he was stifling a sob again. He took another shaky breath, ‘Please tell me… call me if you ever just need to talk, OK? At any time. Please. I’ll always pick up the phone for you.’ 

Valerie could feel her heart swell at the sincerity of the comment. 

Her own voice was shaky as she replied, ‘I will. I promise. You too, Ok? I want you to call me if you need to talk. Even just for a chat.’

‘Thanks Dyer, I will,’ there was a long silence before Valerie heard him sigh on the other end, saying, ‘ You take care.’

‘You too.’

She pressed the red button on her phone, ending the call, and looked down at the black screen for some time before her surroundings became blurry through her tears. She continued to stare as they poured out hot and fat, rolling down her cheeks and off her chin. She wanted to chuck the fucking thing against the brick wall of the alley, turn around and kick over all the rubbish bins and scream out into the ethos every obscenity she could think of. She was so mad. She was mad at the world being what it was. She was mad at the stupid bloody military. Stupid bloody governments that caused this whole stupid bloody fucked up war. She was mad at the stupid bloody hopelessness and inefficiently that was American health care. Veterans care. What care? They didn’t bloody fucking care, did they. Almost two decades of war creating all these veterans and they don’t give a bloody shit what happened to them once they came home. They took her friends eyesight. They took his sanity. They took his life. He was disposable to them, after they got what they needed from him. He didn’t matter. 

Valerie was shaking. He mattered to her. She cared. She… 

She harshly wiped her tears away, her heart felt heavy in her chest. A wave of guilt suddenly washed over her as she sank down against the wall, her head between her knees. 

She should have called him. She should have talked to him. Something. Anything. She could have done something. He might not have… Why didn’t she think to…

Valerie shook her head, her hair falling in her face. 

‘No,’ she mumbled into her knees, ‘doesn’t do a lot of bloody good thinking back on what could have been done…’

Valerie rested her head against her knees for several moments, the fabric soaking up her tears. She hugged her knees tight, breathing deeply as she calmed herself. 

Slowly, the tears subsided, and she looked up at the grey sky from her spot between the brick houses. The weather certainly seemed to match her mood now, but the cool drops falling on her face felt soothing against her hot cheeks. 

She was going to get completely soaked if she stayed out here. She needed to get inside somewhere. Her stomach growled, reminding her of her plans to get lunch at the pub before her day was completely bloody ruined by this news. She didn’t feel like eating, though. Didn't feel like doing anything. 

Valerie sighed and stood up, running her fingers through her wet hair to get it out of her face. She bent over slightly to dab her face free of tears with the one dry spot on her shirt as she made her way out of the alley. She collected her bearings and headed toward the pub.

* * *

‘What in the bloody hell happened to you?’ Aunt Maggie looked up at Valerie as she walked in soaking wet and looking miserable. She was sitting at the bar, pen in hand, surrounded by paperwork and receipts all clipped neatly into piles. Valerie presumed she was doing her invoicing from the previous evenings sales. 

The pub was dead with the exception of a few families and regulars sitting at tables for some lunch and a few pints. 

Valerie answered her question with a grimace, ‘Don’t want to talk about it.’ 

‘You look as if someone tried to drown your cat in the river and you went in and got her.’

‘Auntie,’ Valerie interjected, ‘can I just have a drink?’ 

Maggie sighed and turned back to her papers, shuffling them neatly into a pile as she raised from her seat. 

‘Help yourself. Just wrapped up with this and need to start prepping for the supper crowd anyway,’ she turned to look at Valerie as she tucked her papers and receipts into a manila folder, ‘you still on for working later tonight?’ 

Valerie shrugged and silently nodded. 

Her Aunt gave her a peculiar look, ‘You sure you’re alright love? You look to be in a right state.’ 

Valerie sighed, ‘Really, I don’t want to talk about it.’

Maggie’s gaze was unwavering and concerned, but she looked as if she would let this one go. 

She nodded over towards the few customers in the pub, ‘I know you’re not on the clock but can you keep an eye on them? Come and get me if they need anything, alright?’ 

Valerie gave a quick nod as her aunt turned, disappearing back into the kitchen leaving Valerie standing alone by the bar. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. When she opened them again, her eyes landed on a bottle of Old Pulteney whiskey sitting on the shelf that was about a quarter of the way full. 

‘Fuck it,’ she said as she ducked behind the bar. She snatched the bottle and took it to the corner furthest away from the customers so they wouldn’t notice. She wedged the bottle open, and the cork squeaked and gave a definitive ‘pop’ as she pulled it out. Not bothering with a glass, she took a swig from the bottle. It burned on the way down her throat like that jerk chicken wrap Lucille had her try, and she was vaguely reminded of those few precious moments earlier that morning when she was with Lucille and happy. How funny it was how things can so drastically change from one moment to the next. 

She took another swig, a shiver going down her spine, then another, again and again, her throat numbing to the burning sensation, until she had polished off the bottle. She chucked it into the bin ungracefully and it landed at the bottom with a noisy clink. She gripped the bar to steady herself. Shaking her head slightly, she took another deep breath before turning and pouring herself a pint of Newcastle from the tap. She ducked back under the bar and pulled up a stool. 

She closed her eyes, the whiskey finally feeling like it was kicking in. Her stomach felt warm, the quick succession of alcohol in her system sent a pleasurable tingling sensation through her body, to the back of her neck and the tips of her fingers.

Valerie sighed, sadly, and took a big gulp of her beer. Her heart felt heavy in her chest. She still couldn’t quite understand, quite get it. He had seemed fine. Seemed like he had a plan. Even after his accident he had been so friendly and joking around. Losing his sight didn’t seem to affect him too much… 

Valerie’s anger grew within her. Fucking coward. Taking the easy way out. He could have at least stayed alive for his daughter. It wouldn’t have been easy but he could have taken care of her. Could have been a great dad if he hadn’t of… 

Valerie shook her head as if trying to rid herself of those thoughts. Her anger evaporated, and was replaced by sadness and remorse. He was tormented, she thought to herself. He was locked inside his head. He did have a plan and powers beyond his control kept him from seeing it out. It wasn’t far. It wasn’t right. 

Valerie brought her hands to her eyes, ‘Shit…’ she mumbled, wanting to help but feeling completely helpless. There was nothing to be done. She missed any chance she may have had to reach out. What the hell was her problem. Why didn’t she think to once pick up the phone and tell him how much he meant to her? In all that time over there he was the one person she met that got her to open up, that she could truly call her friend. 

Valerie finished her beer, and the empty glass clinked noisily when she placed it back own against the wooden bar. 

She ducked under the bar for another. 

And then another. 

Several beers and several hours later, Valerie found herself sitting at the bar, hugging her pint. She didn’t even realize she had her head down until someone knocked rapidly against the wood. She lifted her head up and saw her aunt. All three of her. 

‘Ah, fucking Christ, Valerie,’ Maggie looked back at her sorely disappointed,’ you’re in no shape to work tonight now, are you.’ 

Valerie looked around for a moment, noticing the pub had grown more crowded since she had arrived. It looked darker, too. What time was it? Her unfocused gaze landed on the empty glass in front of her. She sat up and slowly pushed it away. 

‘’S alright, Auntie, I can still work,’ she slurred, getting up from her seat and stumbling immediately. She held onto the bar to steady herself and stand up straight. She could vaguely see her Aunt roll her eyes and throw her hands up. 

‘No, I’m calling your mother. You’re bloody pissed off your tits and no good to me behind the bar tonight. See if she can come in and work the tables. Might have to beg your Aunt Jean to come in if she can’t,’ she mumbled, agitated, busying herself with setting up the bar for the oncoming rush, clinking clean glasses noisily as she stacked them. 

Valerie stood there silently, one hand still holding onto the bar as her Aunt bustled about. Her mind was completely blank, her senses barely registering the noise and motions of the growing crowd. Her eyes were drooping, head nodding, until her Aunt harshly called her name,

‘Valerie!’ 

Valerie’s head snapped up. Her Aunt looked back at her with a mixture of annoyance and concern. 

‘Go home, Val,’ Maggie said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. 

Valerie blinked and looked over towards the entrance of the pub, a familiar face looking back at her. She closed one eye and squinted the other so she could focus. Lucille was there, walking right towards her, umbrella in hand. Valerie felt a panic rise from within her. She had forgotten that Lucille said she would come by for supper when her shift was over at the library. She didn’t want Lucille to see her like this. 

Valerie looked away, mumbling some combination of ‘Fuck’ and ‘Shit’. In an attempt to hide, Valerie turned on her heel, tripping over her own foot and landing loudly on the floor with a hard thump. Her chin collided with a stool on the way down, scraping against the harsh wood, but she was too drunk to register any pain. She groaned from her spot on the floor, the wind having been knocked out of her.

‘Valerie!’ She heard Lucille shout from above her. Valerie opened her eyes and Lucille was above her looking worried, ‘Valerie, you’re bleeding…’ 

From above her Valerie could see her Aunt Maggie’s head look down at her from over the bar. 

‘You a friend of hers, love?’ Maggie addressed Lucille. 

Valerie closed her eyes, immediately regretting it. She had the spins. She pushed herself off the floor and worked to stand, vaguely feeling Lucille reach under her arms and help lift her to a standing position again. Valerie wobbled where she stood, and Lucille took hold of her arm to steady her. 

‘I am,’ Lucille said. 

‘She’s completely gone out of her tree. Can you see to it she gets home?’

Lucille looked thoroughly confused at Maggie, ‘Gone… out of her tree?’

Maggie noticed the accent, ‘Drunk, love, she’s completely pissed.’

‘Ah,’ Lucille said, understanding, as she looked back at Valerie. 

‘Auntie, please,’ Valerie mumbled, grasping onto the bar, ‘I’m sorry,’ 

‘Yeah, you certainly will be in the morning,’ Maggie said, annoyed, her gaze turning back to Lucille, ‘You know how to get there? Get her home? Number 30 Smythe street.’ 

Lucille blinked again, her grasp tightening on Valerie as she swayed, ‘Um… Smythe street, yes. I think I know how to get there.’ 

Lucille guided Valerie out of the pub, leaving Maggie holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she poured pints for the growing crowd, mumbling about alcoholism running in the family and how kids these days can’t be counted on while she waiting for Valerie’s mum to pick up.

‘Valerie, what’s happened?’ Lucille asked quietly, her face laden with concern as they exited out onto the street. The rain had stopped and the clouds had cleared up in the time Valerie had been in the pub. Valerie covered her eyes from the brightness of the sunset, ‘You were fine when I saw you earlier. Is everything alright?’ 

Valerie gently grabbed two fistfulls of Lucilles cardigan and pushed her away slightly, looking down, her eyes squeezed shut tight. She felt the tears prick at her eyes as she shook her head from side to side. 

She swallowed, the world was spinning, ‘No,’ she choked out, ‘no it’s not.’ 

Valerie dropped her hands from Lucille and brought them to her face, covering her eyes. She felt herself stumble slightly and Lucille stepped forward and reached out, gently grasping Valerie by the arms to hold her steady.

‘Val, please, tell me what’s happened,’ she pleaded softly, her eyes darting back and forth searching Valerie's face. 

‘I didn’t think it was going to happen to me. I didn’t think I was going to fall into it, but I am,’ she breathed, ‘It’s happening, isn’t it?’

‘What do you mean?’ Lucille asked, desperately searching Valerie's face. 

Valerie shook her head, still unable to meet Lucille’s gaze. Her lip quivered as she tried to hold the tears back, but they escaped anyway. She could feel them slide down her cheeks and roll off her chin. 

‘Valerie, please talk to me. What is it? What are you falling into?’ 

Valerie sighed, bringing the back of her hand to harshly wipe away the tears. She sniffed and the glint of something shining by Lucille's chest caught Valerie's eye. The necklace she wore around her neck that was always hidden under her shirt had exposed itself to be a charm. Her vision blurry, Valerie was able to make out pink, purple, and blue before her eyes focused on Lucille's. 

‘You know, they warn you about this, coming home from combat, but I didn’t think…’, she trailed off, eyes narrowing as she grasped onto Lucille by the arms, ‘Lou, I never left the base. I didn’t go out on convoys. I stayed in the hospital and worked. I wasn’t in any real danger. I didn’t go out there and see anything, you know? I didn’t hurt anyone. I tried to help them. I wanted to help them all.’ 

Lucille looked on with concern as Valerie's chest rose and fell, her breathing becoming heavy, ‘I don’t have nightmares like the others, you know, of what I’ve seen. I didn't think it would get to me, because I was kept on base. Because I didn’t go on convoys. I didn’t go out _there_. But it is, isn’t it? It’s happening,’ she swallowed, tears welling up in her eyes again, ‘they don’t tell you that getting out is like this, too. The uncertainty. They use you and then thrust you out here with almost nothing. Lou, there’s this…,’ her eyes darted back and forth, searching for words, ‘hopelessness that’s taking over my life, it’s like this slow shadow creeping up on me, isn’t it? Up until now I felt like I was just barely outrunning it, but it’s pulling me in.’ 

‘No, no, it’s not,’ Lucille looked panicked, ‘Valerie whatever it is, you can work through it-’

‘Do you know what I was doing? Before I joined the Army?’ Valerie asked frantically, cutting Lucille off, ‘I was pulling pints here. At the pub. I joined up to make something of myself because I didn’t want to be pulling pints for the rest of my life, did I? I learned a skill. I got a degree. Served my country. After four years of training and doing your job, they tell you you’re going home, like that’s good news. Like you’ve achieved some kind of goal and the reward is going home. But what if you don’t want to? What if leaving this place was the reason I joined? I worked my fucking ass off for four years, only to what? Get out and come back here? Come back to the very place I wanted to leave?’ 

Valerie backed away from Lucille, ‘And what am I doing now?’ she asked, gesturing wildly towards the pub, her voice rising, ‘ _What am I doing_?! I’m back living with my mum and pulling pints and the _bloody fucking pub_! I’m back where I started like _nothing fucking happened_! All that work, what was it _fucking_ for!? Huh?! What was the point?’ 

She brought her hands to her face again, fingers raking through her hair as her gaze turned towards the sky, ‘I would have never of fucking joined if I knew I’d be back here. Right where I fucking started. All that work undone,’ she let out a sob, swaying where she stood, ‘and how many did I patch up… how many others did I bring back from the dead just so they could go back home and undo it?’

Lucille watched as Valerie swayed where she stood, her hands coming to wipe her eyes, ‘Valerie, what do you mean?’ She asked. 

‘Why did I even bother?’ Valerie ignored Lucille’s question, harshly wiping away her tears. She stumbled backward until her back met with the side of the pub. Lucille winced as the back of Valerie's head hit the hard brick with a loud ‘thunk’. Valerie doubled over and Lucille rushed to pull her upright. 

‘Val,’ Lucille coaxed softly, her arms around Valerie as she pulled her from the wall, ‘come on, let’s start walking. We need to lay you down.’ 

‘All that bloody work,’ Valerie said as she allowed for Lucille to lead her down the street, ‘All for nothing. All for fucking nothing. Maybe I am nothing.’

‘Valerie,’ Lucille said warningly. 

‘No, I am nothing. Without a job I have nothing and nobody wants me. I keep trying and nobody wants me. What’s wrong with me? Why aren’t I good enough?’ 

She laughed bitterly, head bobbing as Lucille huffed, pulling her upright once more and tightening her grip. They turned the corner and people stared as they passed by, going unnoticed by Valerie. 

‘Well, maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s meant to be, isn’t it? If the people I help are just going to go and off themselves when I’m through with them then maybe I should just quit. Maybe I’m not meant to be a nurse.’

‘Off themselves?’ Lucille’s eyes shot over to meet Valerie’s as they walked, ‘Who? Who are you talking about?’ 

‘My… my friend,’ Valerie slurred before her head dropped and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, poor Val.
> 
> I can't just be like superbanana or Echo7 and leave you all with this angst, [so here's a fluffy doodle in case this chapter made you sad.](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Val-and-Lou-Chapter-5-739965018?ga_submit_new=10%3A1523485437)
> 
> No #LucnVal next week, but a few familiar characters make their first appearance. 
> 
> As usual, comments are appreciated. Let me know if you're enjoying the story! Also special thanks to habitsandbicycles for proofreading and making sure my language isn't too Americanized. Appreciate you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘What the fuck happened,’ he said, breathless, swallowing, ‘what the fuck...’
> 
> Valerie walked over to his bed, ‘Don’t move.’
> 
> He halted, his head turning towards the sound of her voice, ‘Who are you?’
> 
> ‘I’m Corporal Dyer. I’m a nurse. You’re safe.’

‘Oh, fuck… oh, fuck,’

Valerie turned towards the groaning man, slowly awakening from his induced sleep. She watched as his head lolled from side to side, his expression contorting into pain. He winced, bringing his left hand to his head and feeling the bandages around his eyes.

‘What the fuck happened,’ he said, breathless, swallowing, ‘what the fuck...’

Valerie walked over to his bed, ‘Don’t move,’

He halted, his head turning towards the sound of her voice, ‘Who are you?’

‘I’m Corporal Dyer. I’m a nurse. You’re safe,’ she explained as clear as possible, taking his left hand to check his pulse. She watched the clock on the wall as his head moved from side to side, like he was trying to look around. She vaguely noted it was 2:45 in the morning. 

She reached for a thermometer and held his ear, ‘Stay still for a moment please while I check your temperature.’ 

‘What happened?’ he tried moving his right arm and winced, suddenly realizing it was in a cast.

The thermometer beeped and blinked 36.6. Normal. 

‘You don’t remember what happened?’ she asked, reaching for his chart at the end of the bed. She had to keep him talking and moving to cancel out any sign of clot after the accident he had. 

‘No, well, I remember being in a convoy with… Malumay. What happened to Malumay?’ his breathing became frantic, ‘Is he alright? Is he here?!’

‘Calm down Corporal Sho… um,’ she looked at his chart, never seeing a name quite like that before. 

He took a deep breath, ‘Shokrollahi,’ he said, rolling his ‘r’, ‘But everyone just calls me Shok because no one can ever pronounce my full name.’

Valerie shrugged, ‘Well, Shok, can you tell me what you remember?’

‘Is Malumay alright?’ he asked again, ‘Oh, god, please tell me he’s alive.’

Valerie vaguely recalled another man being brought in with Shok a few days ago after their convoy hit an IED while on patrol, but he was sent immediately to surgery from several gunshot wounds.

‘I believe he is in the recovery unit. I don’t have any specifics on what happened out there. I will check in on him for you, but I need to make sure you’re alright first.’

Shok fell back against the bed, relieved, ‘Oh, thank god,’ he breathed deeply, ‘I promised his husband I would take care of him.’

Valerie looked on intrigued, suddenly wanting to meet this Malumay.

The sound of a curtain being pulled back made Valerie lookup. Shok turned his head in the direction of the noise.

‘Captain Mount,’ Valerie addressed the redheaded officer. Even after working together for the last 6 months through the worst of times, she was quite impressed that the Captain could always maintain such an ambience of professionalism, her uniform always kept crisp and neat and free of strings, or, in Valerie's case, bodily fluids. Even though they were nearing the end of their shift, her hair was still pinned back neatly and her uniform in order as if she had just arrived fresh from the barracks. It was almost a shame the patient lacked the capacity to admire her at the moment.

‘I was just about to fetch you,’ Valerie said. 

‘He’s awake?’ Captain Mount asked, her tone all business and no nonsense. 

‘Yes, just moments ago. Pulse is normal,’ Valerie said, handing over his chart.

‘Check the rest, please,’ she said curtly, and Valerie moved to grab the blood pressure cuff.

Captain Mount pulled up a stool and sat beside Shok, who turned his head in her direction.

‘Corporal Shokrollahi, I’m Captain Mount. I’ll be the doctor overseeing your recovery until they find a space for you and the other injured member from your unit in Germany. How do you feel?’

‘Like shit.’

She smirked, ‘Can you be more specific? Are you in pain?’

‘Yes. I’m sore all over and I feel like I have the worst migraine I’ve ever had. Is that why my eyes are covered?’

‘Do you have any recollection of what happened?’ she asked, ignoring his question, flipping through his papers.

‘Am I in England?’ he asked.

‘No, still in Kandahar, I’m afraid.’

‘Oh, it’s just… y’all have an accent.’

‘Yes, Corporal, and you have an accent to us,’ she quipped, ‘Now can you please tell us any details of what you last remember?’ 

Valerie wrapped the cuff around his left arm as he spoke, ‘Well, we were just on a typical patrol. Malumay and I rode in front. I think we had been driving for about an hour before we hit an IED. I don’t really remember anything after that. Must have been knocked out.’

‘Yes, you were. You came to us unconscious so we will be monitoring you for any traumatic brain injuries while you’re here,’ she sighed, looking over at Valerie sympathetically. She returned her gaze with a tight smile, bracing herself for the news she was about to give the corporal.

‘Corporal,’ she continued, looking back at him, ‘when you arrived, you had massive damage to your right side. The IED went off not far from where you had been sitting in your convoy. It shattered the passengers side window, and you came in to us with a vast amount of glass shards and debris in your right side and face,’

Valerie looked on, jotting down his vitals as Shok reached up with his left hand and gingerly touched the bandages on the right side of his face.

‘We took out all we could, but your right eye was… unsalvageable. It had to be removed.’

‘Are you,’ he said, hand shaking, ‘are you serious? You removed my eye?’ He asked, not quite believing what he was hearing, ‘My eye is ... gone?’

Captain Mount sighed, ‘I’m afraid so,’ she said softly, ‘There was an indeterminable amount of damage to your left eye. We won’t know for sure if you will be able to see until we get the wrappings off, but that won’t be for several days.’

‘Oh,’ he said softly, his lip quivering slightly, ‘Fuck... ‘ he brought his left hand to gently touch his bandages, nodding slightly, ‘fuck, alright… alright,’ he let out a shaky sigh, ‘and, um…’ he trailed off slightly, composing himself, ‘and what about Malumay. Is he OK? What happened to him?’

Captain Mount responded with more poise, ‘Sergeant Malumay came in with a fractured rib cage and two gunshot wounds to the right thigh. He’s in bad shape, but recovering. From what he tells me, your humvee fell on it’s side and he had to climb over you to get out, pulling you with him. There was a sniper watching the convoy who was a bloody bad shot, thankfully. No one else was injured in your unit.’

‘Is he… can I see, er, talk to him?’ Shok asked.

‘Not now, but soon. He is still on bedrest in another ward, but Corporal Dyer here will make sure he knows you’re awake.’

‘Do you,’ Valerie started, shyly, ‘do you need to talk to someone? We can arrange for you to speak with a Chaplain or therapist if you need to?’ she asked, hoping to seem helpful.

Shok shook his head, ‘No, no thanks. I just want to talk to Malumay when I can.’

* * *

Later that morning when her shift ended, Valerie pushed through the back door of the hospital, cigarette already in her mouth and patting her pockets for her lighter. Her breath puffed into small clouds above her in the crisp November morning.

‘Dyer! Didn’t know you smoked.’

Valerie turned around to see the ever composed Captain Mount, hair neatly tucked back under her cap with a lit cigarette between her fingers. She had a small smirk as she eyed Valerie, amused at her disheveled state.

Valerie was very well aware of the no-fraternization rules between officers and enlisted, so she kept her demeanor professional.

‘Yes Ma’am,’ she continued to pat her pockets to no avail, ‘terrible habit, I know, but it was either this or gambling, and I’m just awful at cards.’

Captain Mount smirked, holding her cigarette between her lips as she pulled out her own lighter, flicking it until a flame appeared and holding it in front of Valerie, who bent down and puffed her own cigarette until it lit.

‘Thank you,’ she mumbled, feeling awkward.

The two smoked silently for a few moments until Captain Mount spoke.

‘So, Dyer, any plans for when we head back home?’

Valerie shrugged, ‘Actually, I’ve volunteered to stay on for another six months.’

Captain Mount looked aghast, ‘Really? So you want to stay a whole year? Whatever for?’

Valerie took a deep drag of her cigarette before responding, ‘Money, I suppose. Not having to pay rent has given my account quite a boost, I must say. Also my enlistment is up in June. I figure why not stick around to the very end? That way I won’t be back in England sitting around like a lame duck.’

‘I applaud your commitment,’ Captain Mount said flatly, taking a drag of her own cigarette, ‘but six months is enough for me. Besides, I’ve got a sweetheart waiting for me in London whose eager to have me back.’

Valerie hummed in acknowledgement, not quite sure what to say.

‘My enlistment is up as well. Next month, actually,’ Captain Mount continued when Valerie gave her an inquiring look, ‘I joined up after med school for the experience and some sense of fulfilling my patriotic duty and familial obligation,’ she looked over to Valerie, shrugging, ‘long line of officers in the family. I happen to be the first woman to serve, but then again I had no brothers to pick up the torch, so here I am,’ she took a drag of her cigarette and continued, ‘The army has been good for my career, but I’m eager to move on with my life, you know? Should be a civilian again by Christmas,’ she said with a finality in her tone.

‘That so? What are your plans for when you get out?’ Valerie asked conversationally.

Captain Mount shrugged, ‘I’ve had quite my fill of treating trauma patients, really. Would like to move on to something not quite as thrilling. I’m looking into pediatrics… Maybe midwifery, actually.’

‘Really? Any particular reason?’

‘Well,’ Captain Mount took a drag of her cigarette, ‘to be quite honest, and,’ she deadpanned to Valerie, exhaling a line of smoke, ‘not to be sexist, but I’m just tired of being surrounded by men all the time.’

Valerie smirked, nodding in understanding as she took another drag from her cigarette.

‘There’s just something enticing to me about helping bring new life into the world,’ she looked out onto the distance, thinking, ‘I’m certain there will be a similar amount of screaming and blood as we’ve seen here this past year, though,’ Captain Mount commented blithely, ‘but by now I’m well prepared for it, don’t you think?

‘No doubt,’ Valerie said, and Captain Mount smiled at her.

* * *

‘God, how long have I been out?’ Shok asked, the back of his left hand coming to scratch against his growing beard.

‘You’ve been here in hospital only four days. You know, a lot of men would love to have a beard grow as thick and fast as yours,’ Valerie said, cuffing Shock’s arm to check his blood pressure. 

‘Doesn’t do me a lot of good in the military when I have to shave every day. I hate it, my skin is so sensitive and I get bumps everywhere,’ Shok grumbled. Valerie let go and he absentmindedly tugged on the back of his ear.

‘Hey, where are you from, anyway?’ Shok asked.

‘I’m from a neighborhood called Poplar, in London.’

‘Wow, that’s really cool.’

‘Oh? Why’s that?’

‘I don’t know. I like your accent. It’s pretty.’

Valerie smirked, ‘Other Londoners wouldn’t call it pretty. My accent screams _working class_ ’

‘Oh, I can’t tell the difference. You sound like those smart people on TV who read the news. I like it.’ he said, ‘And it’s not a bad thing to be working class. Are you working class?’

‘I’d say so, yeah. My family has been for generations, really. We come from a long line of housemaids and dock workers. Most of my family works tending the pub now. Come to think of it, my grandfather used his life savings and bought the pub because he wanted to be his own boss. First one in the family to ever do something like that. My Aunt runs it now.’

Shok looked amazed, ‘Your family owns a pub? That’s so cool!’

‘It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. You ever try to break up a fist fight between dock workers with ten of their friends egging them on? It’s a bloody mess, quite literally. And not to mention how men smell after a night of drinking, it’s bloody awful.’

Shok laughed, ‘Oh, I know, we completely reek after getting wasted.’

‘Yes, well, I pulled pints at the pub before I joined up and have no interest in getting sucked back into it when I get out. Nursing is my calling and I plan on making a career out of it.’

‘Are you the first one in your family to join the military?’

Valerie thought for a moment, ‘I… I don’t know, really. I suppose I’m the first woman in my family to join… and voluntarily. How about yourself?’

‘Oh, yeah, I’m the only idiot in the family to join by their own free will. Well… I say that but I needed a job to get out of debt. Fucking student loans. My parents probably would have joined but they’re both immigrants.’

Valerie couldn't help but smile, ‘Where are you from.’ she asked.

‘Austin, Texas. You know, I joined the military to get out of debt and see the world a bit and I got stationed an hour away in San Antonio, of all the fucking places. I jumped at the chance to deploy here,’ he laughed bitterly, ‘probably would have had second thoughts if I had known I’d actually lose the ability to see at all ever again,’ he grumped, scratching his beard.

Valerie shook her head, looking up as she saw a man in a wheelchair make his way towards them. He was bald, with brown skin. He looked to be of Pacific Islander descent.

‘Shok!’ he exclaimed, ‘Dude, how the fuck are you!?;

Shok sat up straight in bed, ‘Malumay! Oh jesus, fuck, I was worried about you!’ He reached out his hands, ‘Come here and let me kiss that sweet little bald head!’

Malumay rolled up to him and obliged, laughing happily as Shok pulled him in close and gave him a big exaggerated smooch on the top of his head. He tightened his hold and patted him on the back.

‘Ah! Hey now, fractured ribs here,’ Malumay said, disentangling himself and groaning in pain.

‘Oops! Sorry!’ Shok let go and leaned back in his bed, ‘I’m just so excited to see you, man!’

‘See me? You sure about that?’ Malumay teased.

Shok laughed, ‘Aw fuck you, man. But seriously, you alright? I heard you got shot?’

‘They almost shot my dick off, dude.’

‘Oh, fuck, I bet Paulo wasn’t happy to hear that.’

Malumay laughed, ‘I don’t want to worry him with the details. Everything is still in working order and that’s all I care about.’

Shok laughed, and Valerie rolled her eyes. She placed Shok’s chart in the holder at the end of his bed and strode away, closing the curtain behind her.

* * *

On one of her precious days off, Valerie made her way towards the recreation center, hoping to find a movie to rent to have something to do. She walked briskly through towards the bookshelves of DVD’s before the obnoxious sounds of two Americans attempting a Scottish accent reached her ears.

‘Yer a wizard, Harry!’

‘Didja put yer name is da goblet of fiya?!’

The familiar giggling of Malumay and Shok had her turning towards them and walking in their direction.

‘Turn ta page tree-hundred and ninety fourrrrrrr, ya wee bloody idjet’ Malumay quipped, Shok giggling.

As she approached, Valerie saw their table was littered with papers and pencils. Malumay seemed to have been drawing or writing to pass the time.

‘Dyer?’ Shok asked, turning to Malumay, asking softly, ‘Did Dyer just walk in?’

Malumay nodded, looking impressed, ‘Yeah man, and she’s looking at us like we’ve got three heads.’

Valerie ignored Malumay's comment, turning to Shok and looked at him, bemused, ‘How did you know it was me?

‘Oh, I could smell you,’

Valerie scoffed, ‘What every woman wants to hear, I’m sure.’

Shok chuckled, bringing a hand to his face, ‘No like, you don’t smell bad, it’s the detergent you use I guess? It doesn’t smell like perfume. It’s like fresh laundry and baby powder.’

‘Well, good to know I don’t smell terrible,’ Valerie shrugged, unsure of how to respond to a comment like that.

‘I think your sense of smell is getting stronger now that you’ve lost your sight,’ Malumay chimed in.

‘Yeah, not so great when stuck in a dorm with a bunch of smelly guys. By the way Malumay when was the last time you brushed your teeth?’

Malumay punched him in the shoulder and Shok chuckled.

‘Hey, Dyer, we’re reimagining Harry Potter as read by an angry Scotsman. How’s our accent?’ asked Malumay.

Valerie shook her head, ‘It’s a bit exaggerated. A little too groundskeeper Willie to be convincing.’

‘Aw, crap,’ Shok slumped in his seat, ‘I was going for Sean Connery.’

‘To be fair, Willie is a pretty angry Scotsman,’ Malumay chimed in.

‘Willie is voiced by an American though?’

‘Willie hears ya, Willie don’t care,’ Malumay quoted and the two men giggled like kids.

Valerie pursed her lips and rolled her eyes.

‘It doesn’t look like Dyer appreciates our sense of humor, Shok,’ Malumay quipped teasingly.

‘Aw, you’re just sore because Paulo’s not here to laugh at all your dumb jokes.’

Malumay sighed, a bit forlorn and slumped slightly in his wheelchair, ‘Yeah, I miss my little querida.’

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘Your little what?’

‘It means cutie in Portuguese,’ he said smiling.

‘Oh, are you Portuguese?’ Valerie asked.

‘No, I’m from Guam and live in California, but my husband is from Portugal. He moved to there for work, which is how we were able to meet.’

‘How long were you two together before you were married?’ Valerie asked curiously.

Malumay smiled and shrugged, ‘Four months.’

‘Four? Four months?!’ Valerie exclaimed incredulously, ‘Good lord, that’s even fast for lesbians.’

Malumay laughed, ‘I know! But we just clicked and fell in love. Sometimes when you know, you know. Besides, we wanted to get married before I deployed here. I wanted to be able to take care of him in case anything happened to me.’

Valerie sighed, ‘That’s pretty sweet, actually. Did you have a wedding? Can’t imagine would have been easy to plan in such a short amount of time.’

‘Oh, nah,’ Malumay shook his head, ‘We didn’t need all that, but we did fly to New York where his family lives. We rented a tux and got married at the courthouse and took everyone out for a nice dinner. It was a great weekend,’ he finished nostalgically.

‘Yeah, you might way to keep that on the down low, bud,’ Shok said, reaching over to presumably pat Malumay on the shoulder but smacked him lightly on the head instead, ‘if leadership ever found out you flew out of state without telling anyone you could get in deep shit. You were technically AWOL.’

‘Oh, that was months ago,  
no one cares. Besides, I don’t think Dyer is going to tell on me.’

‘Oh!’ Shok exclaimed suddenly, sitting up in his chair, ‘Hey Dyer, want to see the drawing I made?’ he asked, his left hand brushing over the table searching for a piece of paper in front of him. His hand clumsily pushed colored pencils and pens away from him. They rolled around and off the linoleum table, clinking noisily on the floor.

All this went ignored by Shok who eventually found and proudly held up a blank sheet of paper in front of him.

‘What exactly am I looking at here?’ Valerie asked, thoroughly confused.

‘This is a picture of my cat, Blackie.’

Malumay reached over and plucked the paper from between Shoks fingers. He flipped it over, revealing a drawing of several squiggles and uneven circles and triangles. He placed the paper back in Shok’s hand.

‘This is a picture of my cat, Blackie,’ Shok repeated.

Valerie bit her lip, bringing a finger to her chin, ‘You, uh, you drew that left handed and blind, huh?’

‘Yeah, I think it’s one of my better drawings, honestly.’

Valerie smirked, stifling a giggle and looked away.

‘Oh, there it is,’ Malumay said, a hand reaching over to grasp Shok by the arm.

‘What? What’s happening?’ Shok asked.

‘You got Dyer to smile!’

‘Aww, I bet it’s pretty like her voice.’

‘So pretty,’ Malumay said, the two men looking over at Valerie like proud parents watching their baby take its first steps.

Valerie shook her head, her face growing hot, ‘You two are ridiculous,’ she said, turning and walking away, hoping they didn’t notice the smile in her voice.

* * *

Valerie grabbed an apple as she passed several bowls of fruit in the commissary. She was hoping to snag a seat next to the television so she could watch the news before her shift, but they were all occupied by American soldiers and marines listening in on the possible fate of their deployments.

Valerie looked around briefly for an open seat and spotted a tuft of messy black hair poking out between white bandages. Shok was sitting by himself, his plate of pasta remained untouched while he used every inch of his fork to scratch the inside of his casted arm. Valerie rolled her eyes and walked over to him.

‘Mate, you really shouldn’t do that,’ Valerie said, ‘you might lose it.’ She took a seat across from him.

Shok shrugged, ‘I’ll just pick it out with another fork.’

He removed the fork from his cast and awkwardly held it in his left hand, stabbing his pasta, and shoved a mouthful into his face. Valerie blanched, putting her apple aside having suddenly lost her appetite.

‘What do you have there?’ Valerie asked, seeing an opened manilla envelope next to him.

‘I have no idea. Someone came around saying I had mail and plopped this in my lap,’ he held it up, ‘Can you tell me who it’s from?’

She took the envelope from him, ‘Says it’s from someone named Maria?’

Shok smiled, ‘That’s my sister.’

‘Do you know what it is?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, I mean,’ he put down his fork and held the contents of the package up with his left hand, ‘It’s obviously a book of some kind. I don’t think they know I’m blind yet.’

‘Shok, you haven’t told them yet?’ Valerie asked softly, ‘You can call them, you know.’ 

Shok grimaced, rocking his head back and forth like he was considering something, ‘I mean, I don’t want them to freak out or anything. I’m still kind of coming to terms with it myself.’

Valerie gave a concerned look, which she was sure Shok could feel as she remained silent, ‘I promise I’ll do it when I get to Germany, alright?’

Valerie shrugged, sighing, ‘So long as you promise,’ she said, reaching over and turning the cover of the book towards her. 

‘It’s a copy of Alice in Wonderland,’ she said, looking on as Shok smiled.

‘That’s,’ he started, smiling, his voice almost choking in pride, ‘that’s the name of my daughter.’

Valerie smiled, ‘You have a daughter? How old is she?’

‘She’s three, and just the most beautiful little girl I have ever laid eyes on,’ his face turned dark for a moment, and he scratched his beard absentmindedly.

‘I… well, I really love her a lot. I’m actually trying to get full custody of her when I get back home. Her mother isn’t really… well, she really shouldn’t be anywhere near children as far as I’m concerned.’

Valerie felt her heart sink, ‘Why’s that? Is your daughter safe with her?’

Shok held up his left hand reassuringly, ‘Yes, of course. It’s more her grandparents raising her while I’m out here instead of her birth mother. Alice, uh, well, she was the result of a drunken night out before I left for basic training. I didn’t know at the time that the woman I was sleeping with was a complete coke head that would dump my daughter on her parents like that…’ he reached up and scratched at his ever thickening beard, ‘She didn’t even tell me about Alice until about a year ago,’ he finished softy.

‘Shok, I’m sorry. That must be really tough…’ Valerie trailed off not quite knowing what to say. Instinctively, she reached over and held his hand in hers.

Shok smiled kindly and squeezed back, ‘It is tough, being out here… I’m a stranger to her. I’ve only seen her a handful of times, but I’m eager to form a relationship with her, you know? Thankfully I can get a lawyer for free through the army. I took a DNA test, so I know she’s mine, and put all the paperwork in motion before I left so hopefully it won’t be much longer after I return.’

Shok gave a reassuring smile before the two pulled away. His head tilted down towards the book on the table, his fingers gently grazing over the smooth cover.

‘Would you…’ Shok started, seeming shy, ‘I mean, I hope this isn’t weird, but I would love it if you, um,’ he struggled for a moment to find the words, ‘I just think your voice is so pretty. Would you read some of it to me?’

Valerie felt a blush climb from her neck to the tips of her ears, and was glad Shok couldn’t see her flustered.

‘I.. .well… I suppose I could read a bit,’ she said awkwardly, gently grasping the book he held out to her. Shok rested his chin in his hand as Valerie flipped to the first page and began to softly read.

‘Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do…’

* * *

‘Are you excited to be heading to Germany soon?’ Valerie asked, retracting the cuff from around Shoks arm and jotting down his blood pressure, ‘I hear they finally have some room for you and Malumay to recover in Landstuhl.’

He shrugged from his seated position on the hospital bed, ‘I don't know, really. I mean, yeah, I’m happy to be moving on to get back to Alice, but,’ he scratched his beard idly, trailing off. After three weeks it was particularly full and scraggly, ‘not gonna lie, Dyer, I’m going to miss hearing your pretty voice every day.’

‘You’re a lousy flirt,’ Valerie quipped blithely, placing his chart down.

’Yes, but you can tell I’m flirting so that’s a start. Is it working?’ He grinned cheekily while Valerie checked his temperature and blood pressure. 

While wrapping the cuff around his arm, Valerie made the split second decision to tell him the truth. He had been kind to her, had shown he was an ally, and he was leaving soon anyway. She decided to let down just the one wall.

‘You’re barking up the wrong tree, mate.’

‘Ah,’ Shok said, giving his fingers a snap, ‘don’t tell me you’re married?’

‘Nope.’

There must have been a lot of action going on in his head because Valerie watched slightly amused as his eyebrows wiggled up and down from behind his bandages in thought, seemingly connecting the dots.

‘Dyer, are you gay?’ he finally asked.

Valerie blushed, softly humming an affirmative ‘Mmhmm.’

Without missing a beat, Shok leaned in close towards Valerie and spoke softly.

‘Dyer, I totally get it. If I was a woman I would be gay too. Women are just so beautiful.’

Valerie felt her heart melt at the sincerity of his comment.

The moment was interrupted by the abrasive ‘shhhhk’ of the curtain being pulled back. Both Valerie and Shok jumped at the sound and leaned away from each other, Valerie pulling the thermometer from his ear, it nearly dropping from her grasp. She looked up wide eyed at the ever collected and poised red headed Captain Mount appearing in front of them, the captain looking back a her with her own bemused gaze.

‘All vitals are fine, Ma’am,’ Valerie blurted out, making a show of scribbling down his vitals on his chart.

‘Splendid!’ Captain Mount exclaimed, strolling over to them, seemingly oblivious to what she had just interrupted, ‘Corporal Dyer, could you please go and fetch Dr. Turner? I believe he will want to examine Corporal Shokrollahi for this.’

‘Yes Ma’am,’ Valerie replied, thankful for the excuse to leave the room. She overheard the following from Shok and Captain Mount, their voices fading as she made her way down the hall.

‘Why, what’s happening? Who is Dr. Turner?’

‘Dr. Turner is the surgeon who removed your eye. He will want to examine the other one when we remove your bandages.’

Valerie turned the corner, spotting the very doctor she was looking for standing over a computer frantically typing away.

‘Doctor? Corporal Shokrollahi is ready for you, Ma’am. He is with Captain Mount.’

Dr. Turner, a lanky civilian in light blue scrubs and a white coat, blinked and looked up over at Valerie.

‘Oh, yes, the American with the enucleation of the right eye,’ he commented to himself, scratching the back of his head. He spoke louder to Valerie, ‘Please tell them I’ll be right there, I’ve almost finished up documenting another patients recovery to clear him for the trip to Germany.’

Valerie nodded and turned back, slowing down to a halt as she overheard Captain Mount speak quietly through the curtain.

‘...hope you stay in contact with her. I can’t help but notice how good it’s been for her, you being here.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘Because you’ve gotten her to open up. I’ve worked with her almost six months and have never seen her even so much as talk with anyone else, unless it’s for work. I don’t know why she’s got her cards so close to her chest but you’ve managed to get her to let  
you in.’

Shok chuckled, ‘I have friends back home who are just like Dyer. They just need someone to reach in there and yank them out of their bubble.’

‘You’ve certainly accomplished that, I think.’

Valerie’s face and ears felt hot. Her heart pounded in her chest at the thought of being caught eavesdropping. Valerie turned when she heard Dr. Turner approach, and was thankful she had an excuse to interrupt their chat.

She pulled back the curtain and allowed for Dr. Turner to enter ahead of her.

‘Well, let’s see what we’ve got here, shall we?’ Dr. Turner said softly with a kind smile.

Captain Mount nodded acknowledgingly, working her hands through a pair of blue rubber gloves. Valerie moved to the other side of Shok, holding a tray for Captain Mount to place the used bandages as she removed them.

Shok sat up straight on the bed, the three women around him watching intently as Captain Mount slowly unfurled the wrappings from around his eyes.

When Captain Mount pulled away the last of the wrappings, Valerie saw that Shok’s eye had been held open by a plastic conformer to hold the shape of his eye. The area around was bruised and swollen. He slowly blinked open his left eye.

‘Now,’ started Dr. Turner, ‘there appears to be a bit of swelling but that is to be expected. Have you experienced any itchiness at all?’ He asked softly.

‘A little, but I haven’t touched it.’

‘Wonderful,’ he took out a small torch from his coat pocket and focused in on Shok’s eyes, ‘there doesn’t appear to be any discolored discharge or bleeding. No sign of infection,’ he said quietly, seemingly to himself, ‘Can you tell me if you’ve experienced any intense headaches? Any nausea or vomiting?’

‘No, not at all.’

‘Good…’ he held the light over Shok’s left eye. The pupil contracted, but Shok did not respond.

‘Are you able to see anything out of your left eye? Any light?’ He asked gingerly.

Both Captain Mount and Valerie looked on intently as Shok sighed, waiting for his answer. He paused a moment before responding.

‘No. It’s just black.’

Dr. Turner nodded solemnly and clicked off his torch, placing it back into his coat pocket, ‘Well, Corporal Shokrollahi, I can see that your pupil is reactive to light, which leads me to believe there is no damage to your brains cognitive ability.’

‘But?’ He asked.

‘Unfortunately, it seems, the damage from the explosion may have rendered you completely blind.’

Shok sighed heavily through his nose and tilted his head back, seemingly attempting to take the news in stride.

The doctor took out his noted and began scribbling away, ‘I’m going to ensure you’re seen by another specialist when you reach Germany. You may experience some phantom pain from your right eye, or have hallucinations. If you experience anything like this before you go, please let us know immediately.’

‘Thank you, Dr. Turner,’ Captain Mount nodded to him, seemingly giving him permission to leave if he wanted. The doctor gave a sympathetic smile towards Shok and made his leave.

‘I’m prescribing you tobramycin and dexamethasone ointment,’ Captain Mount said as she noisily removed her gloves and chucked them in the bin, an attempt to break up the sad atmosphere in the room, Valerie thought, ‘you are to apply the ointment twice a day between your eyelids until your follow up in Landstuhl.’

‘As for the conformer,’ she continued, placing her hands on her hips, ‘you can take it out once a day and wash it with warm water and soap. Just pop it back in there like a contact.’

Shok nodded silently.

Captain Mount turned to Valerie, ‘Corporal Dyer, I'm going to put in his prescription now. Can you see that he makes it to the pharmacy downstairs?’

‘Yes Ma’am.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, and turned her attention back to Shok. The fingers on his left hand were gingerly stroking the small healing cuts from the shards of glass they had removed. Captain Mount reached out and placed a hand on his arm.

‘Chin up, lad,’ she said softly, ‘they have a great team in Germany who will see you through your rehabilitation.’

Shok nodded, smiling slightly, and she gave a sympathetic squeeze with her hand and turned to leave, closing the curtain behind her.

Valerie looked over at Shok, searching his face. He was hard to read.

‘How… how are you feeling? You think you’re going to be alright?’ She asked softly.

He sighed, ‘As alright as I’m going to be I guess. I mean, I’ve been blind the last few weeks, have started to get used to it, you know? I didn’t really have any hope that I would be able to see again, but it’s just hard hearing it... Having it confirmed.’

His eyebrows furrowed suddenly, his left hand expanding to cover his face, ‘Oh man, I bet this cover holding my eye open makes me look really creepy.’

‘Oh, I may have something around here for that, hang on,’ Valerie said, turning and walking down the hall towards the medical closet. She shuffled through a few baskets of materials and supplies wrapped in plastic until she found what she needed. Returning to Shok’s bed, she held up the object with a smile on her face.

‘Eyepatch,’ she simply said, opening the package, the flimsy plastic crinkling in her hand noisily, ‘this’ll make all the kids think you’re a pirate.’

‘Or run away from me in fear,’ he smirked, ‘actually I think I might want it that way…’

‘Except for Alice, of course?’

‘Of course.’

Valerie smirked andreached around Shok, fitting the eyepatch around his head so that it fit snug. When she was satisfied, she stepped away.

‘How does that feel?’ She asked, hands on her his.

‘Fine,’ he shrugged, ‘Do I look badass?’ He asked.

‘Very.’

‘Metal.’ He said, making devil horns with his left hand.

* * *

Valerie stretched as she walked out of the hospital after her shift. It was 5am and chilly, her breath coming out in white puffs in the December morning. As she walked along the winding dirt paths between large brown tented barracks towards the commissary for some breakfast, there was a lot of commotion going on by the dormitories. Many soldiers, enlisted and officers alike from several different military branches, all milled around with their luggage and personal items, bundled up in their winter gear and awaiting instructions. The crowd was a mixture of the injured waiting to go to Germany for treatment and rehabilitation, and those whose long deployments had finally come to an end and were at the start of their journey home.

‘Dyer!’ someone shouted. Valerie looked over to see Captain Mount waving to her, beckoning. The officer was standing apart from the crowd, dressed in uniform with her duffle bag draped over her shoulder.

Valerie trotted over. As she approached, she saw that the Captain was placing her duffel bag at her feet and pulling out a pack of cigarettes with her left hand.

Valerie stopped within a few paces, her right hand whipped up from her side to display a proper salute.

‘You needed to see me, Ma’am?’

Captain Mount returned the salute and Valerie dropped her hand back down to her side.

‘Cigarette?’ She asked, taking one for herself and holding out her pack to Valerie.

Valerie relaxed a little, but unable to contain the look of surprise, ‘Oh, why, yes, thank you.’

‘You can go ahead and take the pack. Won’t be able to take them on the plane,’ Captain Mount said, patting her pockets in search of a light. She found it and lit it, holding it out to Valerie, who puffed her cigarette until it was lit.

‘Thank you,’ Valerie said.

Captain Mount nodded, lighting and taking a drag of her own cigarette.

‘I never asked you what your plans were after you get out. Do you have any plans to re-enlist?’ she asked.

‘Oh, not at all,’ Valerie shrugged shyly, ‘Figured I’d try to get my foot in the door somewhere in London with the NHS when I got out.’

‘I wish you luck with that. They can be absolute snobs from what I’ve heard. And I should know! Was raised to be one, wasn’t I?’

Valerie looked over at her, ‘I don’t think you’re a snob.’

To be fair, it was a bit of a half truth. When Valerie began working with Captain Mount, her RP was hard to ignore. Valerie thought she would spend the whole year with the Captain looking down her nose at her, but she felt as much as equals with the Captain as she could, given their difference in rank. She had always been strictly business with Valerie, but she had also always been very kind.

Captain Mount nodded in thankful acknowledgement, ‘Well I wish you luck all the same. No aspirations to become a doctor, then?’ 

Valerie smirked and shook her head, ‘Nah, haven’t got the books smarts for it. I really enjoy being a nurse though.’

‘Don’t be so hard on yourself there, Dyer. If it makes any difference, you’re a damn good nurse. You’d be a damn good doctor, too, I think.’

Valerie blushed, looking down at her feet, ‘Erm, thank you, Ma’am.’

‘It’s a shame we didn’t have a chance to talk more, Corporal,’ Captain Mount continued, taking one last drag of her cigarette before throwing it down and stepping it out, ‘I’m very much in the camp that family should stick together. Especially out in a place like this.’

Valerie took a drag of her cigarette, ‘Beg your pardon, Ma’am?’

‘You know, family,’ Captain Mount looked back at her with her signature fishhook smirk, eyebrow raised, ‘You're gay, aren’t you?’

Valerie choked on her cigarette, tears stung in her eyes as she coughed out shaky white puffs of smoke.

‘How did, what…?!’ She choked out, not quite believing this conversation was happening.

Captain Mount rolled her eyes, hands on her hips, ‘Come now, Dyer. It’s a curtain, not a door. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I couldn’t help but pick up that little tidbit when you were talking to Corporal Shokrollahi the other day.’

Oh.

‘Well, I mean,’ Valerie stuttered, her face growing hot, ‘does that mean you’re…’

‘Gay? As a maypole,’ she bent down and began rifling through her dufflebag as Valerie stood still, rather shocked and perplexed at the revelation.

‘I have a friend back home who is a rather talented graphic designer,’ Captain Mount casually commented as she pulled out two small books from her bag. She stood up straight and looked over at Valerie with an expression the Corporal had never seen before.

Was she bashful?

‘Forgive me for being forward, but I know… this kind of, erm, material, isn’t allowed on base, which is why I had a friend of mine change the covers on these books and sneak them in through the post. I needed to have some kind of escape from here in my free time.’

She handed the books over to Valerie. They donned the covers of Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice.

‘Since I’m leaving I won’t be needing them anymore, but if this is something you would like you’re more than welcome to keep them.’

Valerie held her cigarette between her lips as she flipped open the front cover of Jane Eyre, seeing that the title page instead stated that the book, was in fact, lesbian smut.

‘Gosh!’ Valerie exclaimed, her eyes wide and cheeks growing hot. She took the cigarette from her mouth and laughed, ‘Well, isn’t that clever!’

Captain Mount laughed, ‘Very! And it was my friends idea, too. I’ll have to give her a call when I get back to give her my thanks,’ she tilted her head towards Valerie, ‘So would you like to hang onto them?’

Valerie’s ears grew hot, but smiled and shrugged, ‘Sure, why not.’ She awkwardly mumbled her thanks as she tucked the books into her cargo pocket.

Valerie looked over her shoulder when she heard someone call her name.

‘Dyer!’ Malumay was frantically waving from his wheelchair, a giant duffle bag next to him. She saw Shok standing by his side, freshly shaven, dawning his eyepatch and a new walking stick, his right arm still in a sling. His left eye remained closed.

‘Alright, Dyer,’ Captain Mount held out her hand and Valerie took it, shaking firmly, ‘it was a pleasure working with you this past year. Take care, now.’

Valerie smiled kindly, ‘Thank you Captain, you do the same.’

Valerie stomped out her cigarette and hesitated briefly as Captain Mount hitched her bag back onto her shoulder. The Captain looked back at her with a smirk, ‘Well, go on then. Go and say goodbye to your friends.’ She shooed her away with her hand, smiling.

Valerie let out a laugh and nodded, turning towards Malumay and Shok and trotted over to them.

‘Wow, look at you!’ She said to Shok as she approached, ‘Almost didn’t recognize you without the beard!’

Shok brought a hand up to his face and stroked his chin, ‘Yeah, back in uniform now. The beard had to go.’

‘You just getting off shift?’ Malumay asked.

‘Yes I am. Was just about to grab some food before I went to bed.’

‘Glad we caught you to say goodbye.’ Shok said.

‘You two officially heading out?’ she asked.

‘Seems so. They’re going to bus us all over to the flight line eventually and we’ll board the plane to Landstuhl,’ said Malumay.

There was a hush over the crowd as a Lieutenant Major near the front yelled out instructions. The three quieted down and listened.

‘That’s my cue. Seems they want to board anyone in a wheelchair first.’ Malumay piped up, grabbing his duffel bag and placing it in his lap.

‘That’s so unfair. I’m the one disabled for life, not you. I should be the one going on the plane first!’ Shok teased, lightly wapping Malumay on the leg with his walking stick. Malumay playfully punched him back and Valerie rolled her eyes.

‘Well, Dyer,’ started Malumay, turning to her, ‘it was a pleasure. I hope we cross paths again sometime soon.’

Malumay held out his hands and Valerie walked over and hugged him as best she could from his sitting position. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a friendly squeeze.

‘Give Paulo my regards. He’s a lucky man.’

Malumay gave her his thanks, turning to make his way toward the front of the crowd, and Valerie looked over towards Shok.

‘Are you going to be alright? Will someone be helping you onto the plane?’ she asked.

‘Oh, yeah, my supervisor is around here somewhere. I’ll find him. The man can project his voice like a bullhorn so I’m sure I’ll hear him eventually.’

‘Well, that’s good…’ she trailed off, unsure of what to say. All she knew was that she didn’t quite want to say goodbye just yet.

‘Shok! Where are you ya blind as fuck son of a bitch!’ came a call from the crowd, thick with a New York accent.

‘That’s him, I take it?’ Valerie asked as Shok smiled.

A stout man who looked as if he was no taller than Valerie’s elbow approached them. He puffed his chest, arms out at his sides, and looked stern as if he had a chip on his shoulder. His name tag said Valentino.

‘Shok,’ he said his voice sounded a lot deeper than it ought to have been, ‘let’s go you pirate lookin’ mother fucker, I’m dying for a beer when we touch down.’

‘Valentino, stop flirting with me,’ Shok chuckled as Valentino punched him in his good arm, ‘Just saying bye to my friend Dyer here. She the nurse who gave me this sweet eyepatch.’

‘How ya doin’, Ma’am,’ he said, politely shaking Valerie’s hand. She smiled as he continued, ‘pleasure to meet you. Hope this asshole wasn’t too much trouble for you.’

‘Erm,’ Valerie squeaked out awkwardly.

‘How dare you. I was on my best behavior.’

‘Yeah right, your mother dropped you on your head too many times to be nice,’ he looked Shok up and down and added, ‘or pretty.’

‘Surprised you even know what I look like from all the way down there.’

‘Hey Dyer, you got an eyepatch for this fuckers mouth? Fuckin’ wise guy here,’ he mumbled under his breath, looking around and adjusting his trousers.

Shok chuckled, ‘Listen, give us a minute? I’ll be right there.’

‘Yeah yeah, don’t take too long, I want to get a window seat,’ Valentino turned around, a big smile on his face, ‘Hey Airman Jones! You going back to Detroit to leave that good for nothing husband for me or what?’

Valerie watched as a woman in uniform tittered and swatted at him playfully.

‘He seems nice!’ Valerie said smiling when he was out of earshot.

‘Yeah, a real angel. I’ll make sure to take his window seat for the cruel irony of it. It’ll be hilarious.’

Valerie laughed and Shok smiled warmly.

‘Hey, Dyer, what’s your first name?’ Shok asked.

‘Valerie. I’ve seen yours on your charts but I’ve never been quite sure how to pronounce it.’

‘Mortezza. But I go by Marshall because no one can pronounce that one either.’

Valerie laughed, ‘Mortezza Shokrollahi. That’s the least American name I’ve ever heard.’

Shok sighed, ‘Mom’s Mexican, dad’s Iranian. Raised me and my sister in Texas for some ungodly reason, but it’s home. Austin’s OK anyway. I’ll be happy to get back and finally take care of things with Alice.’

‘I wish you the best of luck with that. I want to hear all about her when you get back.’

‘Really?’ Shok asked, smiling slightly, ‘And how would I go about doing that, exactly?’

She rolled her eyes, ‘Is this your smug way of getting my number?’

‘Hey, it sounds like you’re the one who wants me to call you, so, I need them digits,’ he reached into his pocket and handed her his phone.

‘How are you even going to call me, anyway? You can’t see.’

‘Dyer, you know I can just talk at my phone and be like, ‘Hey phone, call Dyer.’

‘Oh, right,’ Valerie said, a bit embarrassed that she had forgotten. She put her name in as Dyer and handed his phone back to him.

Valerie looked up at Shok and narrowed her eyes, noticing a bit of shaving cream under his ear. She reached up absentmindedly and wiped it off with her finger. Shok raised his eyebrows slightly at her touch. 

‘Sorry, you had a bit of cream under your ear. Thought I’d…,’ she trailed off, wondering what right she had to touch him all of a sudden, ‘...actually I don’t know what I thought.’

She pulled her hand away and Shok smiled shyly.

‘It’s alright Dyer, it’s just… I remember in basic training we would have to shave every morning,’ he smiled suddenly, remembering, ‘we had a sister flight we had to stand in formation next to every day. We weren't allowed to touch or talk to them, hell, we would get screamed at if we even glanced in their direction, but I remember once there was a girl named Jakubowski from Chicago who stood next to me and she,’ he tugged on his earlobe, ‘she reached out and wiped off some shaving cream from the back of my ear before the Sergeant Major came around to inspect our uniforms. She definitely risked getting screamed at just so I wouldn’t.’

Valerie smiled slightly, ‘Where is she now?’ she asked.

‘Oh, hell if I know. We chatted after graduation and she was stationed in California while I was stuck in Texas. I actually haven’t thought of her since then. I guess I just...’ he  
trailed off, his hand idly scratching his freshly shaven jaw, ‘it reminded me of how nice it was to be touched, I suppose. We were in training for 90 days and of course weren’t allowed to touch anyone unless it was absolutely necessary, and definitely not the women. But, I mean, it felt nice to be touched in a way where someone was looking out for me, you know?’

Valerie blushed, remembering getting ready for her own graduation from training when a member from her unit casually reached over and tucked the tag of her blazer back under her collar. Clear as day, she remembered that moment. She remembered feeling cared for, like a mother would do for a child, or a partner to their significant other, and it made her happy. Valerie wondered for a moment whatever happened to to that trainee. A brunette. Rather short but very  
athletic. She struggled to remember her name. Was it Barry? Busney?

‘Ah, hell,’ he shrugged, pulling Valerie out of her thoughts, ‘Maybe I’ll give her a call when I get back, see how she’s doing…’ he trailed off thinking, and Valerie shuffled on her feet.

‘Dyer?’ he asked suddenly.

‘Yeah?’

‘What… um, I was wondering, what do you look like?’

Valerie blinked, just now realizing that she had the full privilege of knowing what Shok looked like but not the other way around.

‘Well,’ she started shyly, ‘I suppose… I don’t know. I’m tall. Kind of skinny. I have short brown hair, blue eyes… Not quite sure what else I can say.’

Shok smirked, ‘I imagine you looking quite a bit like Kiera Knightly. You sound like her anyway.’

Valerie laughed, ‘You're absolutely off your tits mate, I’m nowhere as gorgeous as that.’

‘Bullshit. You’re a total babe. I bet all the girls back in the UK are falling over themselves to be with you.’

‘If only,’ she quipped, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. She paused slightly as an idea occurred to her.

‘Here,’ she said, grabbing hold of his left hand with both of hers. She guided it towards her her face and rested the palm of his hand on her cheek. His thumb grazed over an eyebrow while his fingers trailed along her jaw. Valerie lifted her cap slightly as he lightly touched along her forehead, grazing down her nose and lightly over her lips. He trailed his fingers down her chin and along the other side of her jaw, gently running a thumb over her ear. He ran his thumb and forefinger over the length of her hair that was exposed under her cap. 

‘Sorry if it’s weird having a man touch your face,’ he said.

‘Your hands are soft like a woman's so I can’t tell the difference, really,’ Valerie teased, glad he couldn't see her red face.

Shok smirked and playfully tugged on Valerie’s hair before dropping his hand hand back down to his side, patting his pocket, ‘Hey, I have something for you before I go,’ he pulled out a folded up piece of paper from his cargo pocket and extended it to Valerie.

‘What’s this?’ She asked, unfurling the paper. She laughed, shaking her head as it was revealed to be a squiggly line drawing only a blind man could create.

‘It’s my masterpiece of Blackie.’

‘Are you sure you don’t want this? I’d hate to deprive your fridge of some much needed decoration.’

‘Nah, I want you to have it. Reminds me of the first time I got you to crack a smile. Besides, Blackie is a grumpy old asshole and wouldn’t appreciate it like you would.’

Valerie sighed and folded the paper back into a square, ‘I’ll treasure it always,’ she said, tucking it into her breast pocket.

The two looked up as two charter busses pulled up and someone shouted instructions over the crowd.

Shok smiled sadly, ‘Alright’ he sighed, ‘Sounds like it’s time. Guess I better find Valentino and get going. It was really nice getting to know you, Dyer.’

‘Yeah, it was nice getting to know you, too, Shok…’ she almost turned to leave, but remained still for a moment, biting her lip. She saw Shok raise an eyebrow, sensing her hesitation.

‘Oh hell,’ she said, and threw her arms around him in a big hug, the force causing him to take a step back.

Shok laughed happily, his left hand wrapping around her middle and squeezing back. They stayed like that for several moments, and Valerie didn’t care that someone wolf-whistled in the background.

‘Take care, Dyer,’ he said as she pulled away.

‘You too,’ Valerie said, giving his hand one last squeeze before letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Superbanana for proofreading this and telling me more than I will ever need to know about nursing and the British military. You know, I'm really starting to think Superbanana actually is pretty...dare I say... _super_. If you're not checking out her story Old Tides already, then I suggest you go and do it, it's a masterpiece as far as fanfiction is concerned. 
> 
> Just in case anyone is thinking that there is no way Patsy would give Valerie smut, ya'll don't know. You couldn't have any porn on base and family had to look after family, you know? We took care of each other like that during those long lonely deployments! [I'll cherish it always](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Smut-741061754?ga_submit_new=10%3A1524096995). 
> 
> Also, did you want to see Patsy in an Army uniform? [Good because here's a doodle of Patsy in an Army uniform](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Val-and-Lou-Chapter-6-741051565?ga_submit_new=10%3A1524092105). Oh, yeah, and Valerie, too but I know the lot of you are here for some eventual pupcake. 
> 
> Alright, next week, back to more #lucnval and gonna crank up the fluff. Talking like, cuddling and dancing in the kitchen, guys. Brace yourselves.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangovers, cat jumpers, fantasies, black eyes, oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up. There is a word in this chapter I used for the context of the story that should never be used within polite company (or ever as far as I'm concerned). Though I feel Valerie's reaction to it is entirely valid and appropriate.

The throbbing pain in Valerie’s head caused her to slowly regain consciousness, along with the overwhelming feeling of needing something to drink. Preferably a liter of water. Her eyes squeezed tight as she slowly parted her dry mouth and licked her lips. Her tongue felt like sandpaper, and she didn’t even want to think about the foul stench that was sure to have escaped her mouth. 

Her whole body felt sore. Her neck and shoulders were so stiff. She tilted her head to the side and she vaguely felt a cold flannel slide off her eyes and down the side of her face, coming to rest over her left temple. She was lying down. Where was she? What was that clicking noise? Where was that music coming from? 

Valerie cracked open her right eye, and her surroundings slowly came into focus. She followed a crack up the wall to a familiar looking beige water stain on the ceiling from the bathroom on the second floor that she had always thought looked like the Mona Lisa. She realized she was in her own lounge, laying down on the sofa. 

She tilted her head and saw that the room was lit with the soft yellow glow of lamps. The curtains were drawn, but she could tell no light was coming through them. It must have been nighttime. Next to her on the coffee table was a glass of water, a bottle of vitaminwater, a bottle of paracetamol, and ...toast?

‘Ah, glad to see you’re finally awake,’ Valerie heard a familiar voice say. Her eye darted to the recliner across from her and to her surprise and horror, she saw Lucille comfortably curled up in it. She was humming along to a tune quietly playing from her cell phone while crocheting… something. The needles clicked in her hands as she weaved something together from a string of yarn that disappeared into her purse. 

‘What,’ Valerie croaked out, her throat feeling as dry as sand. She coughed and tried again, ‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m making a jumper for your poor cat.’ Lucille said, not missing a beat. She continued clicking away with her needles and humming along with her music. 

Valerie closed her eye and turned her head back towards the ceiling. Everything hurt, ‘No, I mean…’ she stopped. A shiver suddenly coursed through her body and she felt her stomach flip. Valerie groaned, ‘Oh no,’ and moved to get up.

Lucille put her craft aside and jumped out of the recliner, rushing over to Valerie, ‘Here, don’t move,’ she kneeled next to Valerie and picked up a wash bucket that had been sitting on the floor next to her. Valerie leaned over and emptied the contents of her stomach into it. It was mostly undigested beer and bile as Valerie had had absolutely no food to eat that day. 

‘It’s alright. Let it out,’ Lucille said gently as she held Valerie’s hair out of her face. After several moments when she thought she was done, Valerie spit the last of that horrible taste into the bucket and laid back down on the sofa, groaning, bringing a hand over her face. 

‘Here,’ Lucille said handing Valerie the cold flannel that had been over her eyes, ‘wipe your mouth off with this and I’ll get you a new one.’ 

Valerie obliged, and she could vaguely hear Lucille carry the bucket to the upstairs bathroom and empty the contents in the toilet. She returned soon and placed it back next to Valerie. 

‘Can you try and sit up for me?’ She asked gently, a soft hand brushing the hair out of Valerie’s eyes. 

Valerie nodded and let Lucille guide her into a sitting position, her body rested heavily in the soft, worn out cushions of the sofa. It hurt to hold her head up and open her eyes fully, so she kept them closed and her head rested against the back of the sofa. Her mouth parted slightly, her breathing labored. 

‘I’ll be right back,’ Lucille said, and Valerie could hear her walk to the kitchen and run the water in the sink. She soon returned and sat next to Valerie, placing a new cool flannel over her eyes again. It felt overwhelmingly soothing. 

‘I hate that you’re seeing me like this,’ Valerie mumbled softly. 

‘Nonsense, I’d be lying if I said I never had a morning like this before,’ Lucille said, placing a straw in the cup of water and guiding it to Valerie’s mouth, ‘Take a sip of water, now. We need to get some fluids in you.’ 

‘Morning? Is it morning?’ Valerie asked. 

‘Just barely,’ Lucille said, ‘Don’t worry about it. Drink now.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Valerie mumbled. 

‘Valerie, I don’t care. Really. Please, drink,’ she pleaded softly. 

Valerie did as she was told, wrapping her dry lips around the straw and taking a few tentative sips. It felt cool in her throat. Soothing. 

‘When you think you can keep something down I’ll give you a bit of toast and an paracetamol for what I’m sure is a really bad headache. I’ll make you a proper fry up when you’re ready to eat something more hearty.’ 

‘I yelled at you,’ Valerie breathed, ‘I’m sorry I yelled at you.’

‘Valerie, you didn’t yell at me. You let off some steam because…’ she paused for a moment, searching for words, ‘you... got some bad news earlier. Do you remember?’ Lucille asked tentatively.

‘... Oh,’ Valerie’s face contorted painfully at the memory. Her brows furrowed and jaw clenched, ‘Right,’ she simply said, taking a deep breath. An anger started to rise within her. She was mad at herself for all the things she didn’t do with Shok and all the things she did last night. She let down her aunt, put her mother in a tight spot, and acted like a complete ass in front of Lucille. Being reminded of what put her in such a state made her feel like she was going to cry again, and she certainly didn’t want Lucille to be here to see her turn back into a blubbering mess. She wanted to be left alone to deal with this by herself. She felt undeserving of any kindness for how she acted.

‘Lou…’. Valerie started, shaking her head slightly, ‘I’ll be alright. I don’t need to stay here. You don’t need to do all this.’ 

‘Nah, I think I’ll stay and take care of you,’ Lucille shrugged with an air of confidence or arrogance, Valerie couldn’t tell which. 

She let out a frustrated sigh, ‘And if I told you I wish to be left alone?’ 

‘Tough,’ Lucille said with a finality in her tone, ‘of all the nights, tonight isn’t the one where you ought to be left alone.’ 

‘Lou…’

‘Valerie,’ she said stern, ‘you’re a good giver, you know that? You’re very good at thinking of other people’s needs, and now you need to to let someone else think about yours.’ 

Valerie frowned but did not protest. 

‘Here, drink some more. Finish it up and you can have some toast,’ Lucille said, bringing the straw to Valerie’s mouth again. 

Valerie sipped the water, gulping it down with a newfound vigor. 

‘How did we get home?’ She asked, releasing the straw from her mouth. 

‘Well, your Aunt kicked you out of the pub and called your mum to come and cover for you. Thankfully she found us on her way out because you had completely passed out and I needed help getting you inside.’

‘Oh, god,’ Valerie groaned, ‘I am so sorry,’ 

‘Hush now,’ Lucille said, placing the glass of water back on the coffee table and grabbing the bottle of paracetamol, ‘your mother let us in and I’ve been sitting with you since. Are you ready for these?’ She asked, shaking the bottle slightly. 

‘Please. I need something, my head is absolutely pounding.’ 

Lucille placed two tablets in the palm of Valerie’s hand. Valerie removed the dishcloth from her eyes and threw the tablets in her mouth, gulping them down with the remainder of the water. 

Valerie held her head in her hands, her fingers pushing her hair out of her eyes. It still felt incredibly painful to be sitting up right now, but she knew she needed to power through it as the need to use the toilet became more and more urgent, and she would need to make her way to the bathroom. She slowly looked over at Lucille sitting next to her, who wore an expression of worry as she gently rubbed Valerie’s back. She was wearing the same outfit as before when she left her at the library earlier that afternoon. Valerie couldn’t help but notice a new hole in the knee of Lucille’s jeans, dotted slightly with dried blood. 

‘What’s happened to your knee?’ Valerie asked. 

Lucille looked down, surprised, ‘Oh, forgot about that. I fell outside when you first passed out. Thankfully I didn’t drop you completely, I would have been absolutely mortified if you had gotten hurt again.’

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘What do you mean again?’ 

‘Your chin. Don’t you remember?’ Lucille said as Valerie brought a hand to her chin. There was a fresh plaster there. ‘You fell at the pub and smacked right into a stool on the way down.’

Valerie winced at the memory, ‘And what about you, then?’ Valerie asked, sitting up slowly and groaning slightly in pain, ‘Your knee?’

Lucille shrugged, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ 

‘No, it looks really bad,’ Valerie said standing up slowly, holding her head in her hand. Her temples pounded as she stood, the blood in her veins seemingly working overtime. She tilted her head from side to side, cracking the bones in her neck, hoping to get rid of some of the stiffness. 

‘Valerie, it can wait, really,’ Lucille said, gently grabbing Valerie’s hand. 

Valerie rubbed her eyes with her free hand, ‘It’s alright. I need to use the toilet anyway. Just let me go and get the first aid kit and I’ll patch you up properly,’ she looked back down at Lucille’s worried gaze and sighed, shrugging, ‘If you want, you can start on that fry up you mentioned. I think I’ll just skip toast and go right to that. I’m absolutely famished,’ Valerie tried to sound confident in her request, but still felt terribly awkward asking Lucille to do anything for her. She wish she could be left alone to take care of herself, but if Lucille wanted to do it, then she would let her, no matter how weird it felt. 

Lucille smiled and said, ‘OK,’ happily. She rose from her place on the sofa and strode over towards the kitchen. 

Valerie sighed and slowly made her way up the stairs, leaning heavily on the banister for support. When she made it to the bathroom and used the toilet, she finally had a look at herself in the mirror while she washed her hands, and scowled at her appearance. 

Messy hair, pale skin, red eyes with dark circles under them, and a busted chin to top it off. Her fingers came up and brushed over the little spots of blood that had dropped onto her shirt from her chin. 

Valerie let out another long sigh as she gazed at her reflection, ‘It’s poison. This is what happens when you poison yourself,’ she mumbled. 

She ran some cool water over her face and attempted to tidy up her hair with a quick brush. She opted to brush her teeth while she was in there too, hoping her stomach was finished for the evening emptying its contents through her mouth. 

She headed back to her room to kick off her shoes and almost tripped over a laundry basket. She looked at its contents and found that it was full of her clothing, all cleaned and neatly folded, ready for her to put away. Nikki was napping on top of the neat pile, apparently unperturbed at her presence. She stared at it, completely confounded. Who did her laundry?! Certainly not her mum, she was as bad as Valerie with getting her clothes into the wash. Certainly not… no. 

Valerie quickly grabbed her first aid kit and a pair of clean boxer shorts from the basket and headed back down stairs. 

She approached Lucille in the kitchen, the woman just putting down a plate of hot eggs and sausage on the counter. 

‘Did you do my laundry?’ Valerie asked in a tone more harsh than she intended. 

Lucille wiggled the spatula she was holding at Valerie, ‘It had to be done,’ she shrugged, licking her thumb of grease. 

‘Yes, but… why? Come to think, why were you even in my room?’ 

‘Well I needed to do something to pass the time with you passed out on the sofa, didn’t I?’ She said, idly placing the plates in the sink and turning on the water. 

‘So you washed my clothes?’

‘No. Well, yes, but initially, my intention was not to wash your dirty laundry. Hard to believe, I know, but I was looking for a book to read,’ Lucille said, filling the sink with soap, ‘I didn’t find many, but I did happen to skim through the most interesting version of Jane Eyre I had ever come across,’ she said with a mischievous smirk. 

Valerie’s eyes widened and she felt a blush crawl up from her neck to the tips of her ears. 

‘It was after that I figured I should forego reading and do something more productive,’ Lucille continued, scrubbing the plates, ‘Besides, it seems you’ve been in a bit of a rough patch since leaving the military, from what you told me earlier. I just… I don’t know, wanted to do something to make your life a little easier.’ 

Now Valerie was blushing for a completely different reason. She felt ashamed. She felt embarrassed at everything happening right now. Her brows furrowed and she clenched the kit in her fist. 

‘I’m not usually like this,’ she said terse, ‘I can take care of myself.’ 

‘I am most absolutely certain that you can, Val,’ Lucille said, placing the clean plates on the rack next to the sink to dry. She dried her hands on a clean towel hanging from the cupboard and looked over towards Valerie, who was still standing stiff and defensive, ‘I am also very much certain that if the tables were turned, you would insist on taking care of me, would you not?’ 

Valerie sighed, glancing at Lucille's scraped knee, ‘Yes, well, consider tables turned.’ She threw the boxers at Lucille, ‘Take off your trousers and change into those,’ she ordered, turning from the kitchen and placing her kit on the coffee table in the lounge.

Lucille followed her out with an amused smirk, ‘And what are you going to do while I change?’ 

Valerie snatched up the toast and breezed past Lucille back into the kitchen, ‘Eat.’ she said simply.

She placed the toast on the counter next to the eggs and sausage when a thought occurred to her. She went back into the lounge and found Lucille with her trousers unbuttoned and halfway down her thigh. Valerie gasped and quickly turned around to face the kitchen again, but not before getting a glimpse of some colorful knickers. 

‘Oh, god, sorry!’ she said, her eyes shut tight, ‘I thought you were going to go upstairs to change!’ 

Valerie could hear Lucille laugh from behind her. She nervously ran her fingers through her hair.

‘It’s just, if you were… I mean… you said you weren’t leaving so I figured you’d might want some pyjamas. So… um, I guess, I was just going to say you can grab anything from the laundry basket upstairs if you wanted,’ she finished, rushed. She quickly made her way back to the kitchen without looking back. 

Valerie stood over the freshly made food while Lucille composed herself, ‘I suppose that’s a good idea.’ Valerie heard Lucile mumble to herself before she heard her turn and slowly make her way up the stairs. 

Shaking her head, trying to rid herself of her state of embarrassment, she looked down at her food and remembered how hungry she was. She was starving, and hastily wedged her egg and sausage between the two pieces of toast and ate it as a sandwich over the sink. She must have downed the thing in three bites because she was biting at her fingers before she realized it was completely consumed. She washed her hands, sighing, head still pounding and desperately hoping the tablets and food would kick in soon to relieve her of this damn hangover. She cracked her neck again before heading back into the lounge, eyeing the sofa. 

Admittedly, all she wanted to do was lie down and sleep the rest of the night, but she had a guest. The very least she could do was set up their bed for them. Valerie took a deep breath of air and shoved the coffee table and recliner out of the way. She pulled the cushions off the sofa and tossed them aside, and pulled out the bed within. The lounge was so small that the length of the bed reached the television stand, leaving no pathway to walk between rooms. If either of them wanted to get to the kitchen they would have to crawl over the bed. Valerie tried not to think of the awkward situations that could entail. 

Valerie turned towards the stairs as she heard Lucille descend. She carried with her her own clothing, neatly folded in her arms, and wore only the boxers she was handed and one of Valerie's old beige army undershirts. Valerie blushed slightly at the sight, finding it rather cute that Lucille was wearing her clothing. 

‘Hope this is alright. I didn’t know how you would feel about me wearing an old army shirt of yours.’ 

Valerie tried to shrug, nonchalant, mumbling, ‘’s fine,’ and hoping Lucille wouldn’t notice her blush. 

She composed herself and patted the bed, ‘Have a seat and we’ll get that knee looked at.’ 

Lucille sauntered over and shrugged, ‘It’s really not that big of a deal,’ she said, casually taking a seat on the pull out and hiking her leg up so that Valerie could see. 

Valerie sat down on the end of the bed and narrowed her eyes, examined Lucille's knee. The wound was badly scraped and still had specs of dirt around the edges. She reached over and grabbed the old dish towel she had been using over her eyes and used it to gently brush over the scrape. Lucille winced a little, but Valerie ignored her, wanting to get as much dirt out as she could. She opened her kit and dabbed a cotton ball in saline solution before turning back to Lucille, grasping her leg from behind her calf and gently applying the solution to her scrape. It typically doesn't burn, but out of habit, Valerie blew gently on the solution so that it would dry. She felt goosebumps rise up on the skin under her fingers and she forced herself to not look directly in Lucille's eyes. Doing her best to stay strictly business, she dabbed a large plaster with brulidine and sealed it firmly over Lucille's knee. Valerie couldn’t help but linger her thumbs over the adhesive part of the plaster and take in the feel of Lucille’s leg with her palms and fingers. 

‘Everything alright?’ Lucille asked softly, and Valerie nearly jumped. 

‘Yup,’ She said, turning and making a show of gathering up the plaster wrappings and closing the kit. She avoided Lucille’s amused gaze and stood, turning towards the stairs.

‘I’m going to put this away and then change real quick. Back in a tick.’

She was already up the stairs before Lucille could respond. 

Oh god, what was she doing? What was happening? Someone she fancied was in her house, taking care of her, making her food, and suddenly spending the night? And after she saw her at her worst too, no less. 

Valerie tossed the first aid kit into the bathroom and brought her hands to her face, eyes shut tight in a nervous embarrassment as she made her way back to her room. 

Everything about this situation was wonderful and horrible at the same time. 

Valerie shut her door and finally kicked off her shoes. With the laundry basket occupied, she stripped off her clothes including her underwear and tossed everything in a pile in the corner to be dealt with later. Pushing Nikki aside, she pulled out some fresh underwear and slipped them on, blushing slightly, noting that Lucille had taken the time to actually fold them in neat little squares, and she considered briefly what she could wear that would be most flattering. 

She stopped herself and shook her head. What was the point of that? Nothing was going to happen and she was in no state or mood for it anyway. Did Lucille even like her like that? Was Lucille even queer? Valerie furrowed her brows and sat cross legged in front of the basket, considering. Well, Lucille did seem rather physical and comfortable touching Valerie when they were together, but what if she was like that with all her mates? Come to think, she had never really seen Lucille interact with anyone else besides her coworkers, but they weren’t technically mates, were they? She had nothing to compare it to, so she should remain on the safe end of things and assume that Lucille was just an affectionate person with people she knew. Ok, right, but what about earlier when she shared her food? Or when she called Lucille pretty and she liked it? Wasn’t that a sign? Then again who didn’t like it when they were given a compliment? Even so, with Lucille being here taking care of her… should Valerie take it as some big honking neon sign that she was into her or was she just trying to be a good friend? Why was this so difficult?! 

Valerie rolled her eyes and hastily pulled out a pair of shorts and a vest, grumbling about femmes being too difficult to read out in the wild. 

With her pyjamas on, she grabbed two pillows and a duvet from the linen closet, pausing for a moment as she considered that Lucille might want something to cover her hair. She added a silk pillowcase to the pile and brought everything with her back downstairs, trying not to trip over Nikki who was following underfoot. She found Lucille sitting cross legged on the sofa bed, happily clicking away with her crocheting needles again, the jumper in her lap a little longer. 

Valerie ungracefully plunked the bedding on the recliner, huffing slightly as Nikki jumped on top of the pile and started to settle in. 

‘Oh no you don’t,’ she said, scooping up the cat, turning and tossing her on the bed with Lucille. She caught the woman’s gaze on her… hips? Legs? Rear end? Noticing Lucille quickly look down back at her craft and frantically knit away, her needles clicking like a pocket watch being wound. 

Was Lou checking out my arse? Valerie thought, turning back around and unfurling the duvet. The thought made her quite bashful, but she didn’t mind at the moment as she thought her rear end might have looked a bit better than her face did at the moment anyway. She turned back towards the bed again and caught Lucille looking again! Alright if that wasn't a sign Valerie didn’t know what was. 

Feeling a little playful, Valerie threw the duvet over Lucille and Nikki, completely covering the two.

‘Oh, am I just to work in the dark then?’ Lucille remarked, her voice muffled. 

Valerie threw the pillows on the bed and sat in the recliner, sighing slightly, happy to finally be sitting down to rest. She stretched out, closing her eyes. 

‘I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You’re a smart girl.’

Lucille threw the duvet off her and focused on Valerie. 

‘You’re not going to sleep there, are you?’ 

Without opening her eyes, Valerie shook her head slightly, ‘No, I have my own bed upstairs.’ 

‘Ugh. How rude,’ Lucille quipped, returning to her crocheting, ‘And here I was thinking we were having a right proper slumber party and you’re going to leave me to sleep all by myself in a strange house.’ 

Valerie chuckled, bringing her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose as a futile way to relieve herself of the twinge of a headache she still had behind her eyes, ‘Hmm, yes, some party this is. Me getting sick and you crocheting a cat jumper. We’re an absolutely reckless pair. Hope the neighbors don’t call the police for all the noise,’ she opened her eyes and turned her attention towards Lucille, ‘Besides, you insisted on staying. If you think sleeping here is strange, then, what was the word you used earlier? Tough?’ 

‘Touché,’ Lucille said, ‘but I believe I said I wasn’t going to leave you alone tonight. If you sleep upstairs then I will sleep upstairs. I imagine, however, it would be a little crowded in that tiny bed of yours, so we should probably sleep here.’ 

Valerie shook her head, smirking, ‘My, you’re persistent.’

‘Yes, well, I kind of like having you around. After the way you were earlier this evening, I’d be quite upset if you went and did something silly when I could have been there to help prevent it.’

‘You mean besides get completely pissed?’ 

‘Precisely,’ Lucille said, bringing her hand to her mouth to cover a long yawn. 

‘I’ve troubled you enough,’ Valerie said, ‘You don’t need to stay awake on my account.’

‘Nah. I’ll go to sleep when you go to sleep,’ Lucille reasoned nonchalant, her attention back to her craft. 

Valerie sighed, watching Lucille endearingly as she knitted away, softly humming to herself. Why was this woman so cute? She resolved to just go ahead and join her on the bed.

Valerie's eyes landed on the blue silk pillowcase, ‘Oh!, she said, grabbing it and holding it out to Lucille, ‘Here, for your hair, if you need it,’ she offered, moving to sit beside Lucille.

Lucille looked at her, surprised, and then a little bashful, ‘Thanks,’ she put down her crocheting and took the pillowcase, and Valerie watched slightly in awe as she expertly wrapped her hair and tucked the loose ends of the pillowcase neatly behind her head. 

‘Do you want to watch a movie or something?’ Valerie asked.

‘Oh, I don’t know, I don’t think I’ll last for a whole movie. How about a tv programme?’ 

‘Anything in particular?’ Valerie turned on the television and switched it to Netflix. Lucille hummed contemplatively as the program booted up. 

‘Not really. Have to seen Cosmos?’ 

‘Cosmos is a programme?’ Valerie exclaimed, ‘you mean to tell me I did all that hard work actually reading the book when I could have just watched it on tely?’ Her voice dripped with fake indignation. 

‘Reading is good for your brain!’ Lucille exclaimed, ‘Besides, the book is always better than the movie,’ she nodded, resoundingly. 

Lucille placed her crocheting aside and went into the kitchen while Valerie searched for the programme and started the first episode. She had settled in on the bed, laying on her back and propped up on a pillow when Lucille returned, another wet flannel in hand. Valerie watched as she grabbed the unopened bottle of vitaminwater from the coffee table and sat back down on the bed next to her. 

She cracked open the vitaminwater and handed it to Valerie, ‘Don’t forget to drink this. I got the kind with vitamin C to help you recover.’ 

Valerie took the bottle from Lucille with a shy smile, ‘Thank you,’ she said while Lucille leaned over her and gently placed the cold cloth on her forehead, causing her to blush. 

Lucille smiled at her and, looking content that Valerie was comfortable, settled in next to her on the bed and went back to her crocheting, the programme playing quietly in the background for some time while Valerie sipped on her water. Valerie’s heart fluttered wonderfully in her chest. She felt utterly pampered and was quite enjoying it. 

‘Who is this guy?’ Valerie asked, nodding towards the television. 

‘That’s Neil Degrasse Tyson. He hosts this version of the programme. The original was hosted by Carl Sagan himself but they rebooted the series a few years back. Ever heard of him?’ 

‘Nope.’ 

‘He’s an astrophysicist, and quite popular, I might add. I’ve read a few of his books and think he’s also a good educator. Makes sense because Sagan was a mentor of his.’

Valerie shook her head slightly and smirked, ‘I imagine your bedroom was covered in posters of physicist and other scientists instead of pop stars and athletes growing up.’ 

Lucille smirked, ‘More like wall to wall bookshelves full to the brim. No room for posters. I just really admire educators like my father,’ she said smiling. 

Valerie smirked, ‘I recall hearing that some women want to marry a man like their father. Does that sound like you?’ 

Lucille shrugged, a small smile playing at her lips, ‘I want to marry someone kind and as passionate about learning as I am.’ 

Valerie hummed acknowledgingly and sipped her water, tucking it into the back of her mind that she said ‘someone,’ leaving the term open to interpretation. Maybe she just wants to keep her options open? Valerie thought, or maybe she just doesn’t realize she used a gender neutral term and that I’m over analyzing her every word and action.

Valerie rolled her eyes at herself and deemed she was being rather ridiculous, and turned her attention back to the programme. 

‘There, that seems to be enough,’ Lucille remarked to herself, placing her needles down, ‘now where is this kitty of yours?’ She patted the lumps on the duvet, searching for the cat 

‘Her name is Nikki,’ 

‘Kitty Nikki? Where are you, darling? Auntie has a present for you,’ she cooed, finding the snoozing cat and scooping her into her lap. She held Nikki against her chest and gave the cat a few affectionate pecks on the head. Valerie felt her heart melt a little at the scene but also couldn’t help but feel the slightest twinge of jealousy over her damn cat, of all the things. 

One handed, Lucille worked the freshly knitted jumper over Nikki’s head, who gave a grouchy holler. She shoved the jumper down Nikki’s body and pulled her front legs through the holes. 

‘There you go,’ Lucille remarked, straightening out the jumper, ‘now you won’t freeze to death,’ 

‘I hardly think that’s possible in July,’ Valerie quipped, but couldn’t help but giggle at Nikki, who took three steps away from Lucille before giving Valerie a look of absolute disdain, and completely collapsed on the bed. 

‘I don’t think she’s used to wearing clothing. Don’t think she’s ever worn anything other than her collar before,’ Valerie remarked.

‘Seems she’s become a loaf of bread,’ Lucille remarked contemplatively, poking the cat, who did not move. 

‘She’s protesting,’ Valerie said, removing the flannel from her head as she sat up. She picked up Nikki and snuggled with her, ‘Don’t worry, Nikki, you’ll only have to wear this when Auntie Lou comes by for a visit, I promise.’ 

‘She better, or I’m making booties next!’ Lucille teased, putting her needles away in her purse. She turned back and gave a big stretch, throwing her arms above her head and reached for the ceiling. Valerie couldn’t help but glance at the exposed brown skin peeking through her rising shirt. A soft belly, a cute belly button, a familiar looking hip that Valerie had thought back on fondly a lot more these past few days. She wanted to become more acquainted with that hip. And it’s counterpart. And the rest of her, really.

Valerie shook her head as Nikki gave a loud meow. She realized she was gripping the poor thing rather tight. She gently tossed Nikki on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to get a grip.

‘How are you feeling,’ Lucille asked, and Valerie could see that Lucille was studying her, ‘seems you’ve gotten some color back in your face, so that’s a good sign.’ 

Valerie blushed even harder at her observation. 

‘Oh, you’re not getting a fever, are you?’ Lucille asked, gently placing the back of her hand against Valerie’s cheek. 

‘I’m fine!’ Valerie exclaimed, a bit more shrill than she intended. God, this was torture. 

She cleared her throat and crossed her arms, ‘I’m fine, really,’ she said softer, ‘The paracetamol and water is making my headache go away,’ Valerie turned and looked at Lucille, ‘thank you for making me food, by the way. That was really nice of you.’

‘See? Didn’t kill you.’

‘You didn’t use any spices either,’ 

‘True, but I felt like your belly needed something plain to settle, and full of fat to suck up all that booze. You haven’t had a chance to taste my cooking to its full potential yet.’ 

‘Well I would love to taste it sometime,’ Valerie said yawning, laying back down and stretching, her long legs extending the length of the bed. She placed her hands behind her head and looked back over to Lucille curiously when she didn’t respond. The woman’s gaze was lingering on Valerie’s legs. 

‘Hmm? Taste what?’ Lucille mumbled. 

Valerie smirked and raised an eyebrow, ‘Your cooking.’ 

‘Oh right. My cooking. Of course my cooking, yes.’ Valerie watched amused as Lucille blinked several times and laid down next to Valerie, making herself comfortable. Valerie turned her attention back to the television feeling rather smug she had caught Lucille checking her out. She made a mental note to wear shorts around her more often. 

Soon, the episode they were watching ended, and Valerie decided to turn off the television so they could try and get some sleep. She looked over to Lucille who was already curled up comfortably under the duvet, eyes closed, her breathing deep. Valerie reasoned that if she wasn’t already asleep, she would be soon. She took the opportunity to quietly watch her, really look at her for the first time. She liked how her hair framed her face, the curvature of her eyebrow, the small freckles dotting her cheeks, and those gorgeous full lips she really, really wanted to lean over and kiss. 

Lucille wiggled her nose slightly, looking quite like a bunny, Valerie thought. The sight made her smile and wonder just how anyone could be so fucking cute. 

She sighed and watched Lucille for a moment more before turning, reaching up and clicking the lamp off on the end table. The only light now that filled the room came from the moonlight filtering in between the shades. 

Valerie snuggled up under the duvet with her back to Lucille, closing her eyes and doing her best to turn her brain off, focusing on the methodical breathing of the woman next to her to help her drift off. In the quiet of the night, however, Valerie found herself alone with her thoughts for the first time that evening and her brain couldn’t help but think back on the events of the day. 

She thought back on the phone call from Malumay. His voice was so pained. So sad. And it was no wonder, too. He was out there with Shok on those convoys. He was by his side every day, for what, nearly a year? He was next to him when they hit that IED. He was the one to pull Shok from their truck. Even took two bullets for the man. It was now just dawning on Valerie that she probably would never understand the depths of Malumay’s grief in losing Shok like that. After everything they had been through, and he just… he was gone. Just like that. 

And then of course, Shok. Headaches and hallucinations? Nothing short of torture, Valerie thought. It was hard for her to imagine the man who had left such an impression in her life in so much pain. Her friend. One of the very few people she felt she could open up to. And then to find out he reached out to the very institutions that not only caused him his injuries, but were supposed to help him, and received none? It terrified her to think how many more we’re out there like him. 

Valerie felt a cool wetness against her cheek, and she realized she was crying, her tears soaked up by her pillow. She sniffed and wiped her eyes, but they kept coming. Her friend was gone. She would never see or hear from him again and the thought had her feeling anguished. 

Valerie gasped, her eyes widening as she felt an arm wedge it’s way under her pillow and another wrap securely around her chest. Lucille grabbed Valerie’s right hand and held it tight, both their hands coming to rest over Valerie’s heart. She felt Lucille completely press herself against her back and held her tight, her warm breath tickling the back of Valerie’s neck pleasantly. 

Valerie was completely still, her heart pounding fast in her chest. Unsure of what to do or say, she managed to sniff again and eek out, ‘sorry,’ but Lucille just squeezed her tight. 

‘Nothing to be sorry about,’ she sighed tiredly, ‘You can cry if you need to. I’m not going anywhere.’ 

Valerie blushed at her words. She said them so nonchalant, but it meant so much to Valerie in that moment, to have someone just, be here. It was such a foreign feeling to Valerie to have someone care for her like this. To be there with her through a tough time. Valerie was usually the one to hold someone’s hand through their strife. To patch them up and be the one to see them back on their way when they recovered. It still confounded Valerie that Lucille could seem so casual with her when she felt like they barely knew each other. 

For a brief moment Valerie recalled the conversation she had overheard between Shok and Captain Mount, about how Shok had friends like Valerie, who needed to be pulled out of their bubble. She wondered for a moment if this was Lucille's way of doing just that. Instead of yanking Valerie out of her bubble, she was bursting it altogether, forcing her way in and refusing to leave. Quite literally, in fact. Valerie smiled at the thought. 

She sniffed again, bringing her hand to her face to wipe away another tear that fell through. Her right hand tightened its grip on Lucille's, holding her hand close to her heart as she took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Being wrapped up in Lucille's arms was definitely not how she expected the evening to end, but she was somewhat glad she found herself here, even though she was still somewhat embarrassed about the state of things at the moment. Her crying, her appearance, her earlier drunkenness and ranting. She tried to reason that if Lucille didn’t mind, then she would try not to, either. 

Slowly, she closed her eyes, her breathing slowed to be in time with Lucilles and she felt calm. She felt warm, and safe. Eventually, she fell asleep.

* * *

Valerie woke slowly without opening her eyes right away. She could sense that the sun was up and seeping through the windows, lighting the room with the soft glow of the sunrise. She felt the most pleasant sensation of soft lips against her naked thighs, slowly kissing, grazing their way up from her knee, along her thigh, edging ever so slowly towards where she really wanted them to be. Her eyes fluttered open and looked down, seeing Lucille grazing her lips achingly slow along her pale thighs, her right hand coming to run her fingers over the length of her other leg while her mouth continued to tease the other. 

Valerie’s breathing hitched in her throat. She stared, wide eyed as she watched a hot tongue slowly peek through a set of soft lips to taste her, a pair of white teeth appearing to nibble at her flesh playfully, teasingly, before Lucille cracked an eye open and looked at her. 

‘Good morning,’ Lucille said softly, her breath hot on Valerie's leg. Her fingers circled over the sensitive skin of Valerie's inner thigh, and Valerie felt herself let out the smallest of moans at the touch. 

Valerie's eyes snapped open. She slapped a hand over her mouth and sat straight up in bed, her heart racing, adrenaline pulsing through her veins. She quickly scanned her surroundings. The sun was indeed up, like in her... dream? Fantasy? She was in her lounge, on the sofa bed, and Lucille was still sleeping sound next to her, lying on her back. Valerie could hear her faintly snore, and she breathed a sigh of relief. 

Valerie lifted the covers and jumped out of the bed. She rubbed her eyes, removing the sleep from the corners, and took several deep breaths, shaking her hands slightly to rid herself of the jitters that were slowly dissipating from her system. She glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was only barely seven in the morning. 

Ok, so it was a dream. Lucille wasn’t really kissing her and she should pretend that she never had such thoughts and ignore how turned on she was right now. 

Valerie shook her head. Shower. She should take a shower. A cold, cold, icy shower. 

She took one more glance at Lucille sleeping soundly and quietly padded up the stairs, reaching the bathroom and not even bothering to run the warm water. 

Some time later, after a quick brush of her hair and teeth, Valerie came back downstairs after a cool shower, fully dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, prepared to make her way back to the pub some time that day to beg for her Aunts forgiveness for her behavior the evening prior and see if she could work that day as penance. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, seeing that Lucille was still sleeping soundly. She had rolled over to where Valerie had been sleeping, her arms holding tight onto Valerie's pillow, Nikki curled up against her back. Valerie couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if she has stayed in bed. Would Lucille have cuddling with her like that if she hadn’t left? 

Valerie shook her head to prevent any thoughts from earlier popping into her mind. She looked back down at the bed and found herself with the conundrum of having to climb over Lucille to get to the kitchen to whip up some breakfast. She was sure that her military training offered her some dexterity in overcoming obstacles, right? 

She took a tentative step on the bed with the intention of landing gracefully on the other side of the bed flawlessly, but of course Lucille chose that moment to roll over and throw Valerie off, the top of her foot hooking under Lucille's knee. Valerie came crashing down on the other side of the bed with a loud bang, bringing her hands up just in time to stop herself from completely face planting on the wood floor.

Her legs still awkwardly entangled with the bedsheets and Lucille's own legs, she could feel the other woman sit straight up suddenly with a surprised gasp. Her face still firmly planted on the floor of her lounge, Valerie could only imagine Lucille blinking awake rapidly, wondering what the hell was going on. 

‘Val?’ Lucille said to, what Valerie presumed, her rear end. 

Valerie groaned and rolled over slightly, her back now flat against the floor and her legs still entangled in the sheets over Lucille's own legs. She stared at the ceiling and smiled slightly as Lucille’s head peered over the edge of the bed. 

Lucille blinked at her, looking almost incredulous, ‘Are you alright?’ She asked. 

Valerie shrugged, thinking it best to play it cool from her spot on the floor, ‘Yeah. You sleep OK?’ 

Lucille rubbed her eyes and yawned, ‘Yeah, slept great. What are you doing?’ 

Valerie licked her lips, trying to look as casual as possible, ‘Oh, I just thought, you know, I could make you some breakfast before I took you to church.’ 

‘You… you want to take me to church?’ She asked, surprised. 

‘Yeah, why?’

Lucille narrowed her eyes, looking at her skeptically with a small smirk, ‘I didn’t think church was really your thing.’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Oh, it’s not. I just, you know, thought I could show you someplace new. Maybe you could try it out to see if you like it.’ 

Valerie gave a goofy reassuring smile to Lucille's inquisitive gaze. 

‘Why don’t you take a quick shower while I whip something up to eat?’ Valerie suggested, ‘I left a fresh towel in the bathroom for you… and, um,’ she couldn’t help but blush, ‘if you want, I mean, I think we’re the same size, so if you want to borrow anything from the basket… um, you know, feel free.’ 

Lucille just looked back at her with an endearing smirk and Valerie's heartbeat raced for the hundredth time that morning. 

‘You, um,’ she nervously continued, biting her lip, ‘you got a hole in the knee of your trousers last night when you fell, so I figured, you know, you could take one of mine for now.’ 

Lucille chuckled, ‘That’s very kind of you.’ 

‘Can’t have you going to church in holy clothing now, can I? Don’t want to upstage the preacher or whomever.’ 

Lucille laughed and disappeared from Valerie's view. She could feel her untangle their legs finally and release Valerie's legs from the bedsheets. 

‘You’re free!’ She said, and Valerie was pleasantly surprised to see Lucille move to join her on the floor, laying side by side with Valerie, their arms touching and legs resting lazily back on the sofa bed. 

Lucille let out a delightful sigh as she settled in, eyes opening to gaze at the ceiling. Valerie looked over to see her eyes narrow at the water spot that looked suspiciously like… 

‘Is that… what is that?’ Lucille asked. 

Valerie followed her gaze and shrugged, ‘I think it looks a lot like the Mona Lisa, but I guess it’s up to interpretation.’ 

‘I was thinking more of a Jackson Pollock but, I can suppose it depends on how you look at it,’ she said, tilting her head until it was resting on Valries shoulder. 

‘I suppose,’ Valerie mumbled, her whole body humming with a nervous affection. She looked over at Lucille and was overcome with the urge to just lean down and kiss this sweet woman full on the lips, and it took everything within her to stop herself because… well, why? Nerves? Yes, definitely those. Uncertainty? For sure. In the time that she and Lucille had been talking, never once did she mention any previous relationships, let alone her sexuality. Best to be safe and do… nothing. She would absolutely die of embarrassment if she assumed the wrong thing did something she couldn’t take back. 

Valerie sighed, shrugging, and sat up, ‘Alright, best to get going so we’re not late.’ 

She stood and helped Lucille get to her feet, smiling back at the woman who squeezed her hands tight and brushed her thumbs over her knuckles before letting go, turning to crawl over the bed and make her way upstairs. 

Valerie took a deep breath, her eyes watching Lucille go up the stairs two at a time before she assessed the bed and decided to put it away. She grabbed Nikki and tossed her onto the floor before shoving the bed back into the sofa, the joints creaking noisily as she tucked it back into place. She stuffed the cushions back onto the sofa before she neatly folded the duvet, tossing it onto the recliner and throwing the pillows on top. 

Valerie heard the shower start and she turned towards the kitchen and tried so desperately to focus on making breakfast, and not the naked woman in her bathroom right now. She got busy scrounging around the kitchen, pleasantly surprised to find they had just enough ingredients for a serving or two of shakshuka. She popped some bread in the toaster before warming up the saucepan while she also threw on some water for tea, wondering how many more hints and signals Lucille was going to give before Valerie bucked up and made a move back. Though, truth be told, she would probably always second guess herself unless Lucille outright grabbed her face and planted a big smooch on her lips. Not seeing that actually happening anytime ever, she vowed to try to broach the subject with Lucille when she was done getting ready. 

She flipped on the clock radio sitting on the counter, switching from the BBC through several stations until she heard something she recognized. 

‘Keep it locked on 96.9, Capital XRA, South London’s Hip-Hop and Rnb,’ the radio said. 

Lil’ Wayne's ‘Lollipop’ began to play. 

‘Jesus, that’s a throwback,’ Valerie mumbled while she threw a chunk of butter into the pan and let it sizzle. 

She threw the rest of the ingredients into the pan and let it simmer, whistling along to the song while she cracked the eggs into the bubbling tomato sauce, thinking to herself that she was for sure going to talk to Lucille… if not at least to casually ask about her love life… if she had one. Did she? Like, right now? Valerie reasoned that if Lucille was seeing someone right at this moment she wouldn’t have spent a Saturday night sleeping over here… holding her. 

The memory made her blush. She shook her head, and returned her attention to her saucepan, tapping her finger against the counter as she kept a close eye on the eggs. 

Valerie licked her teeth and nodded to herself. With her mind made up to talk to Lucille about just where she landed on the spectrum, she let herself listen to the rest of the song play on the radio, bobbing her head slightly to the beat. She sang softly with the end of the chorus, 

‘...you know I'd like to touch ya lovely lady lumps’

‘Really?’

‘Ah!’ Valerie jumped where she stood, spatula flying from her hand and hitting the ceiling before if clanged noisily on the floor. 

Lucille doubled over in laughter while Valerie scrambled to pick it up. 

‘Christ, you need to wear a bell ‘round your neck or something,’ Valerie mumbled, her face growing more and more red with each passing second, she was sure, as she awkwardly grabbed the spatula from the floor and turned to run it under hot water in the sink. 

She playfully glared at Lucille who was wiping away tears from laughter, desperately trying to hide her blush, not only from embarrassment, but from the sight of Lucille in her clothing. She had on a fresh pair of trousers and a very soft cotton t-shirt that hugged all her curves just right. Valerie turned her attention towards scrubbing the spatula with some soap as she replied, ‘Yeah, that’s right, laugh it up. Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to mess with people who make your food, then, hmm?’

Lucille still smiled wide, her laughter finally under control, ‘Sorry, I find you irresistible to tease sometimes.’ 

Valerie shook her head and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. No kidding. This woman was driving her crazy. 

The DJ on the radio piped up in the background, ‘We’ve got a new one here for you this morning. Here’s Boo’d Up by Ella Mai!’ 

Lucille gasped, ‘Ooh, I like this song!’ 

Valerie shrugged, disinterested as she collected the toast onto two plates and turned off the stove, ‘I haven’t heard it before,’ she stopped when Lucille took the spatula she was holding, placing it on the counter, and took Valerie’s hands in hers. 

‘It’s a good one to dance to,’ Lucille said as she started to sway, looking up at Valerie with a shy smile. 

Well. Valerie was certainly interested now. She swayed along with Lucille, an amused look gracing her features. Soon, she let go of Lucille's hands, listening to the song and finding the beat, and began to sway her hips and move her feet in time with the music. 

Lucille looked on, wide eyed and impressed, ‘You can dance?’ She asked. 

‘Why the tone of surprise?‘ Valerie asked with a wink. 

Lucille shrugged, ‘Just enjoying learning new things about you every day. I like it,’ she smiled, moving in time with Valerie. 

‘Your thirst for knowledge extends beyond what you can read in books then?’ 

‘Very much so,’ she said, and Valerie watched as Lucille’s eyes precariously glanced down towards her hips. 

Valerie smirked, ‘I was forced to take lessons from my Aunt when I was younger. They stuck, I suppose,’ she said, scooting just a bit closer to Lucille. 

Lucille smiled, mirroring her movements, ‘Glad they did. I like how you dance.’ 

Valerie blushed, smiling as she watched Lucille shimmy her hips. ‘I like how you dance, too,’ she said. 

Lucille winked, spinning on her toe and coming back around to close her eyes and lip sync, 

_‘Grab me by the waist baby, pull me closer’_

The lyrics inspiring her, Valerie daringly hooked a finger through the belt loop of Lucille's trousers and tugged. Lucille reciprocated by smiling shyly, moving closer to Valerie, her hands coming to rest over her shoulders and they swayed together. Valerie bit her lip and tried to pretend that it was no big deal that she and the woman she had a massive crush on we're dancing in her kitchen on a Sunday morning. Like it happened all the time. Yeah, no big deal, Val, play it cool. 

The two danced together for the remainder of the song, giggling from time to time when one stepped on the others toes or bumped hips awkwardly, until the station cut to an advert break, and Valerie moved to turn the radio off. 

Still humming with a nervous excitement, she sighed, turning her attention back to breakfast. Lucille watched on curious as to what exactly Valerie had in the saucepan. 

Valerie took a ladle and placed an egg with tomato sauce over a piece of toast, ‘It’s shakshuka, in case you were wondering,’ she said, placing the plate down on the counter. 

‘Never heard of it before. I wanted to tell you it smells good, but then that song came on and I got distracted!’ 

Valerie smiled, ‘Hopefully it tastes as good as it smells. I haven’t made food for myself in ages. Especially breakfast,’ she loaded the second plate with an egg and tomato sauce, gazing cautiously at Lucille as she placed the plate next to the other on the counter. 

‘Erm… Lou…’ she started nervously, and gazed at Lucille who looked back at her with an innocent smile and wide eyes. ‘I, um… well I wanted to ask you something,’

‘Sure,’ Lucille interjected, smiling bright and causing Valerie to lose her nerve just a little. 

‘Well, it’s just… you know I was just wondering if, uh...’ Words, Val, use your words. Are you… are you what, gay? Queer? Bi? What if that came on too strong? Do you like me like that? Ok, that was definitely coming on too strong if she put it that way. Baby steps. Just dip a toe in the water. 

Valerie rested one hand on the counter, the other running her fingers through her hair nervously, ‘Well, I guess what I’m trying to say, or rather, ask, is if you knew whether or not, um… what I mean to ask is are you… are you interested in -’

‘Girls?’

Both Lucille and Valerie jumped a little as their gaze turned towards Valerie’s mum suddenly appearing in the doorway of the kitchen, hair a mess and clutching her dressing gown closed with one hand.

‘Didn’t mean to startle you, loves, just coming down to get a cuppa,’ she said, slowly shuffling towards the bubbling kettle and taking a mug off the shelf. 

‘Good morning, Ms. Dyer,’ Lucille said, giving a friendly smile which Val’s mum returned. 

Valerie shook her head at her mother's impeccable timing. She sighed and handed Lucille a plate of food and a fork, ‘Mum, I’ve made some breakfast. There’s plenty there if you want some,’ she gestured towards the stove only to look back to find a fresh cigarette already dangling from her mother's lips. 

‘Oh, that’s alright Val, you know me. Only need my tea in the morning,’ the cigarette bobbed up and down as she spoke and for the second time that morning Valerie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Since she had been home she hadn’t seen her mother ingest anything other than ciggies and booze and it was starting to concern Valerie. Her face seemed even more dark and sunken in since she arrived when it wasn’t covered with makeup. 

Her mum shuffled over towards her, slippers scraping noisily against the floor, tea in one hand and the other reaching up to rest against Valerie’s cheek, ‘You alright, love? How are you feeling after last night?’ she asked. 

Valerie sighed, guilt washing over her once more for her behavior from the night before, ‘I’m fine. Lucille here took care of me. Thanks for taking care of my shift, by the way. I’m going to the pub later this morning to beg Auntie for forgiveness for getting pissed and standing her up last night. I was thinking I would take your shift today to give you some time off.’ 

Her mum shrugged and shuffled past the two, opening the back door to the small concrete patio behind the house with a loud creak, ‘Makes no difference to me, Val,’ she was flicking her lighter before the door even closed behind her, ‘need to catch up on my soaps, anyway…’ she mumbled, her voice drifting off as her cigarette finally lit and the door clicked shut behind her. 

‘Oh my god, you can cook, too.’ 

Valerie turned back around to find Lucille with a mouthful of food, eyes closed and lickig her lips as she savored the bite in her mouth. 

Blushing at the sight, Valerie put her hands on her hips with fake indignation, ‘Again with the tone of surprise. I’ll have you know I have many skills, thanks.’

‘Can’t wait to find out what,’ Lucille commented before taking another bite of her breakfast, humming delightfully. Valerie turned towards her own breakfast, eating it over the sink as she tried to ignore the look of pure ecstasy on the womans face next to her. It was hopeless as the image had already been seared into Valerie's mind.

* * *

Valerie wiped the sweat from her brow as she leaned against the bar, looking around at the now basically spotless pub. She had used her spare key to come in through the back door and made herself busy scrubbing the place from top to bottom, sweeping and mopping the hardwood floors being the last of her chores. Everything behind the bar had been restocked and sanitized, same as in the kitchen. She hoped her Aunt would come in with very little to worry about with running the pub that day. 

Grabbing a glass of water, Valerie sat for only a moment thinking back on her morning with Lucille. She never did have a chance to ask her the questions she wanted, but damn it if the girl didn’t make it clear with her actions. She didn’t know how it happened (OK, she knew how it happened but couldn’t believe it did), but when they left the house earlier, Lucille took Valerie’s hand in hers and didn’t let go until they had reached the church. Valerie just let it happen, and while it made her whole body pulse with nerves, it felt so natural at the same time. Her hands were so soft, and her fingers just fit so well interlocked with hers… Valerie wondered if she had ever felt the same about anyone else she had dated in the past, and none came to mind. 

Valerie stopped walking when they arrived in front of a large brown building across from a quiet neighborhood. 

‘This is it,’ Valerie had said, nodding towards the church, ‘this is where I leave you.’

‘Are you not coming in?’ Lucille asked, and Valerie noticed she looked quite sad. 

‘No,’ Valerie said, the street around them was quiet and she hoped that she wasn’t late in dropping Lucille off. 

‘Is it… are you afraid they won’t be welcoming?’

‘No, not at all,’ she said softly, ‘but this should be a space for you. And I think it’s important that it becomes one, if you want it to.’ Valerie tried to give Lucille a reassuring smile, hoping that she would understand once she walked in. 

Lucille still looked sad. 

‘You know,’ Valerie said, rocking on her heels slightly, ‘the only reason I found out about this church is because a whole group of them come to the Black Sail afterwards for supper. You should join them. I’ll make sure you get a pie on the house,’ she smiled with a wink. 

‘Oh, well in that case,’ Lucille smiled and shrugged, sighing, ‘Alright, I’ll try it out.’

Lucille gave Valerie’s hand one last squeeze before trotting up the steps to the building, and Valerie only turned to walk towards the pub when she could see that Lucille was safely inside. 

‘Well it certainly smells lemony fresh in here!’ 

Aunt Maggie’s voice brought Valerie out of her thoughts and back to her current surroundings. Valerie jumped from her seat at the bar and walked over towards her Aunt, who was looking around pleased, hands on her hips. 

‘You’ve certainly been busy this morning. Your mum gave me a call and said you would be in today, but I wasn’t expecting this,’ she gestured to the freshly cleaned pub. 

‘Auntie, I’m sorry…’ Valerie said. 

‘What for?’ She walked over and gave a reassuring pat on Valerie’s shoulder and continued, ‘ain’t nothing to be sorry for. Besides, we got it all squared away and taken care of.’

‘I know Auntie, but I still feel bad.’ 

‘It’s alright love, but,’ she turned, heading towards the kitchen, ‘big crowd coming in later today, as usual. You can help me prep while I take care of last nights receipts. Come on now,’ she urged, disappearing through the kitchen. Smiling slightly, Valerie followed.

* * *

As expected, the pub became quite busy that evening with the mix of the after-church crowd and regulars coming in for supper or a pint. Valerie found herself rather preoccupied taking orders at the tables that evening rather than behind the bar. She didn’t mind, however, as this crowd was less likely to drunkenly reach out and grab her like the scumbags that usually showed up on a Friday or Saturday night. She was happy for the steady flow of customers that kept her feet and the time moving quickly. 

After punching in yet another order for Sunday Roast, she slipped into the kitchen to pick up two hot plates of food in the window. 

‘Just put in an order for three more, Auntie,’ Valerie said in passing, her aunt nodding a response as she wiped some sweat off her brow with her sleeve before dropping three steaks into the burner. Valerie smiled, hearing her aunt turn up an Elvis Presley song on the radio and start singing along as she swung open the kitchen door and backed into the pub. 

She almost dropped the plates she was holding as she turned and came face to face with a smiling Lucille.

‘Alright, Lou?’ She said, a bit startled, but smiling, ‘Nearly scared me half to death! Some poor customers almost lost their dinner,’ she teased. 

Valerie’s smile widened as Lucille giggled, still looking cute as anything in her clothing. Valerie looked back at her inquiringly when she bit her lip and rocked on her feet slightly. 

‘What’s up? Did you have a good day?’ 

Lucille nodded, smiling again, ‘Yeah, I did. I had a great time and um… I just wanted…’ she trailed off, seemingly making a decision quietly in her head. 

Valerie was taken aback as Lucille threw her arms around her suddenly and hugged her tight. Valerie's body stiffened in surprise, the potatoes on the two plates she was holding threatened to wobble and roll to the floor. 

The hustle and bustle of the pub was loud and ever growing as more people filtered in. Noises of people talking and laughing, silverware clanking against plates, chairs scraping against a wooden floor, all fell on deaf ears as far as Valerie was concerned. For these few brief seconds all she could feel was Lucille’s warm body pressed against hers, the smell of her hair, the feeling of a soft cheek pressed against her neck. 

Lucille pulled away quickly, seemingly very bashful all of a sudden, her hands gripping Valerie’s T-shirt at her hips. 

‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘just… thanks. I had a great time. I think… this is the church I was looking for. Thank you for finding it for me.’ 

Valerie blinked and couldn’t help but give a goofy lopsided smile, shrugging, ‘You don’t need to thank me. I’m just happy that you’re happy.’ 

Lucille bit her lip again, nodding shyly as she looked down at her shoes. 

Valerie felt her heart flutter at the sight and couldn’t help but dip her head slightly, her eyes searching for Lucille’s, ‘Did you make any friends today?’ 

Lucille’s expression brightened and she turned slightly towards the tables, ‘Oh! Yes, I met a few people my age and came here with them… oh no, sorry, I’m keeping you from working aren’t I?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘You're alright! Why don’t you go and sit with them and I’ll come by and say hi?’ 

Lucille shyly nodded once more, releasing her grip on Valerie’s shirt before turning to join her new friends. 

Valerie spent quite some time after that moment a little lighter on her feet and a silly smile on her face. She felt like she was waltzing, weaving between tables and customers as she dropped off food and collected empty plates and glasses with a certain grace she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Finally in the window, there was a certain savory pie sitting done on the shelf in the kitchen that she knew to be Lucille's. 

‘Valerie, I need more plate’s love. Bring any more back that you see out there, yeah?’ Maggie called as Valerie left the kitchen. Valerie hollard a response in return, but made a beeline to where she knew Lucille was sitting. She was greeted with a smile as she approached. The others sitting with Lucille seemed friendly, and nodded at her in acknowledgement before going back to chat amongst themselves. She turned her attention towards Lucille. 

‘Hey, we’re kind of packed, so I can’t chat just now,’ she said regretfully as she placed Lucille's meal in front of her, but Lucille waved her off.

‘Don’t worry about it. I know you’re busy working.’

‘I’ll come back later, if I can, alright?’ 

When she turned around, a table surrounded by men caught her eye, littered with empty and nearly empty pint glasses. She walked over to them. 

‘Can I take these empties for you?’ she asked. 

Only one acknowledged her, nodding and leaning back slightly so she could collect the glasses. The smell of cheap aftershave caught her nose and Valerie looked down, noticing a familiar face at the table sitting closest to her. She recognized him as of the lads that came in a few days ago who said her mother had fucked up teeth. She immediately glared at him as she stacked their empty glasses. He was sitting with his shoulders hunched and elbows on the table, rubbing his knuckles, his head swiveling around like a owl looking for prey. 

‘Fucking disgraceful,’ he mumbled to his mate, ‘this place has really gone to shit, ‘aint it?’ 

His friend have a half hearted hum from behind his pint, not really listening as he continued. 

‘Fucking sick of this area. Can’t walk the docks no more without running into some stupid as fuck crooked nosed Polacks. Can’t wait for the lot of them to be kicked out soon as Brexit goes through. Wouldn’t have to put up no more with sharing the pubs with these fat lipped niggers-’

If he had anything to say after that, he was never given the chance to say it. 

Valerie's fist collided with the side of this man head before the pint glasses she was holding had a chance to drop and shatter on the floor. They all landed with a loud, ear splitting crash, and spread out in bits and pieces under them. All eyes in the pub turned to see what the commotion was, and what they saw was Valerie grab two fistfuls of this man's shirt, pushing him out of his chair, him landing on his back on the ground and her following. Her knees dug into the broken glass surrounding them as she straddled him. Running on pure rage and adrenaline, she had no chance to register the pain as she landed two more glorious punches, one fist busting open his bottom lip, the other his nose. She smiled wildly when she felt a satisfying snap under her knuckles. 

A symphony of swear’s escaped her lips when both her arms were suddenly restrained by many hands, and she was yanked off him. The fight instinct of the man under her finally kicked in, and he landed one solid punch across her face, a right hook, and Valerie's head turned so hard from the impact she felt her neck snap. Another wave of hands came into Valerie's view suddenly as the man was restrained and pulled out from under her. 

Her breathing was heavy, gaze intense as people shouted around her. The man glared at her, shouting, fighting against the hands that were restraining him. 

‘You fucking bitch,’ he spat with his hand over his nose. Blood dripped through his fingers and down his chin, and Valerie merely smiled, ‘What fucking right do you have, eh? Absolute cunt, is what you are.’

‘Rather be a cunt than an inbred bigot like you,’ Valerie asserted her opinion by spitting in his face. 

More shouting followed and the two were pulled further apart by several patrons until they were at a safe distance from each other. It wasn’t until Valerie was released by the several people holding her that she realized several parts of her body were throbbing in pain. Her knees, her face, her knuckles. She managed to bypass her aunt who had emerged from the kitchens after hearing the commotion, her face laden with shock and concern as Valerie breezed past. 

‘Val… Valerie! What in the everloving fuck happened!?’ She shouted to Valerie's back as she disappeared into the kitchens. 

Valerie stormed out through the backdoor into the alley behind the kitchen. The door bashed against the wall before slamming shut behind her with a defined ‘thunk’. The sounds from within the pub became muted, but it went unnoticed by Valerie who could only hear her pulse pounding in her ears. She paced up and down the alley several times, kicking at loose bottles and rubbish bins in her path in an attempt to let out some of the pent up adrenaline. Her fingers contracted into fists and spread out again several times. It was painful, and they were growing more sore by the minute. Her face throbbed too, and she spit. Blood. It was blood. She ran her tongue over her teeth and found the fucker had knocked a molar loose. Dickhead. Absolute piece of shit. After a few good kicks to some unfortunate rubbish bins and a few deep breaths, she finally stopped to sit down on an overturned crate, her back resting against the brick wall. 

As expected, her Aunt appeared through the doorway, her expression jarring. 

‘Bashing our customers now, are you? Jesus Val, what the fuck has gotten into ya?’ 

‘Having a bad couple of days, alright?!’ Valerie snapped. She had just lost one friend and was just trying to protect the other. 

‘Valerie, I don’t care! You can’t just go punching people! He could have you arrested for assault, don’t you understand?!’ 

Valerie glowered, hissing through clenched teeth, ‘You didn’t hear him. You didn’t hear the racist things he said. Piece of UKIP scumbag shit.’

‘Valerie, that’s beside the point! He can say whatever he wants, whether you like it or not! You can’t just bash people you disagree with! Using violence isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. It’s just going to make him buckle down on his fucked up views, isn’t it? Makes you no better than him in the end.’

Valerie simply glared at her and gritted her teeth. 

Her Aunt gave a defeated sigh, shaking her head slightly, ‘Look, just stay out here and cool off. I’ll make sure he leaves and get the floor cleaned up.’ 

‘No, Aunt Maggie I can do it -‘ 

‘No! Just… leave it. You can help me in the kitchen but you’re not going back out front. Not tonight.’ 

She gave a look of absolute disappointment that no child would ever want to see from a parent, and it made Valerie’s heart sink. For the second time in just as many days she had fucked up and let her Aunt down, putting her in a tight spot with a mess to clean up that Valerie had made, and in this sense quite literally. 

Valerie looked up, the back of her head resting against the cool brick wall of the alley and simply stared into the night’s sky recounting her actions. Her aunt had a point. She had learned in school that using violence was no way to rid the world of undesirables and a wave of guilt washed over her. She regretted her actions. She felt embarrassed all of a sudden, and ashamed.

‘Ah… fuck it all,’ she managed to say and spit another wad of blood from her mouth. 

A soft click and a flood of light filling the alley brought Valerie from her thoughts and towards the kitchen door. She saw Lucille tentatively emerge into the alley with something in her hand, and close the door behind her. 

‘Can I… can I sit with you?’ 

Valerie sat up straight, ‘Of course,’ she looked around and found a sturdy box. She pulled one close to her and watched as Lucille approached her. 

Lucille sat down next to Valerie, who saw she was holding a bag of frozen vegetables in her hand. She silently observed Valerie’s injuries, focusing on her hands. She reached over and placed both of Valerie’s hands on her knees and gently rested the cold bag on the back of her knuckles. Valerie winced at the sensation, but it was oddly relieving when she got used to the cold. 

Lucille’s gaze was one of concern as she raised her hand to Valerie’s face, gently stroking her cheek with her fingers. Valerie looked away, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and shame again. 

Lucille sighed, ‘Oh… Valerie. Your eye is bruising…’ she pulled her hand away and looked into Valerie’s eyes, almost pleading, ‘Val, I just… what happened? What on earth did he say to make you do that?’ 

‘I absolutely will not repeat it,’ Valerie almost growled. Just the thought was making her mad again and ...possessive. Her face was already red from being hit, but now it felt hot when she realized her actions had mostly been because she wanted to protect Lucille. 

Valerie shook her head slightly and looked down at the bag covering her hands, unable to meet Lucille’s gaze, ‘But it was disgusting. And racist. Fucking prick.’ 

Lucille’s expression changed to one of understanding. She sighed and simply said ‘Oh.’ 

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, unsure of what else to say, ‘I don’t… My Aunt came out and talked to me and I realize now that it was wrong to hit him… I just don’t want you thinking I’m violent or that I would always resort to that…’ She let her sentence trail off. She sighed, feeling frustrated, but composed herself. 

‘Lou, it’s just,’ she faltered, biting her lip searching for the words, ‘I just can’t stand anyone saying anything bad about you.’ 

Lucille gave a small chuckle, smiling slightly, ‘Is that so?’ 

Valerie frowned slightly, and nodded. 

‘Oh, Valerie,’ was all Lucille said before she placed her arms around Valerie's neck and gently hugged her. Valerie leaned into the her closing her eyes, pressing her warm cheek against the cool skin on Lucille’s neck, noting lightly that this was the third time Lucille had hugged her today, if you counted last night in bed. Valerie blinked and scolded herself. Was she really counting hugs now? And if so was this really the time? She felt so silly. 

Lucille finally pulled away, her eyes searching Valerie’s, ‘Please tell me you’ll go to the doctor tomorrow to get looked at? I just…,’ Lucille’s expression turned back to one of concern, her eyebrows furrowing, ‘I hate seeing you in pain like this.’ 

Once again, she brought her hand up to lightly stroke Valerie’s cheek, ‘When you dropped to the floor, and then he punched you, I… I was so scared he was really going to hurt you. I don’t ever want to see someone put their hands on you like that so long as I can help it.’ 

Valerie heart jumped in her throat, rather touched by Lucille’s sincerity. She tried to smile but winced. It was starting to hurt to move the muscles in her face.

‘Nah,’ She said, trying to sound cavalier, ‘it would take more than that to knock me down, and you know,’ she said, gesturing to her face, ‘I can take care of this myself. I’ve got the kit at home so… but,’ she added when Lucille simply pursed her lips disapprovingly, ‘I promise to get to the dentist first thing in the morning.’ 

Lucille tilted her head, ‘The dentist?’

‘Yeah,’ she said shrugging, ‘fucker knocked a tooth loose. Might have to get it pulled.’ 

‘That animal.’ Lucille suddenly seethed, her fingers gripping into Valerie’s shirt. Valerie simply looked on amused by her sudden anger. She wondered if Lucille felt as protective of her as she did for Lucille. 

‘Oh, don’t worry. I’m pretty sure I broke his nose, so I’d say we’re even.’ 

‘Valerie,’ Lucille sighed once more, calming herself before bringing her hand to Valerie’s arm and gently stroked her skin with her thumb. Valerie found it rather comforting.

‘You know, I don’t condone violence, but I am rather touched you wanted to defend me.’ 

Valerie’s injuries were still throbbing painfully but it didn’t compare to the pounding in her heart as she said her next words. She gently rested a hand over Lucille’s as she spoke. 

‘Always…,’ It took every ounce of courage for her to look her in the eye, ‘You’re the only friend I’ve got here. I… um, well, you know I’m going through a bit of a tough spot right now, but knowing you… being your friend… it’s helping me get through it. You make me want to do better. Get my life together.’ 

Lucille looked rather taken aback, a small smile gracing her features, ‘Really. Is that really how you feel about me?’ 

Valerie tried to smirk but winced again. She dropped her hand from its place over Lucille’s and grabbed the bag of frozen vegetables. She leaned back against the brick wall and gently placed the bag over the half of her face that was swelling.

‘Of course it is. You’re wonderful.’ She said. 

Valerie heard Lucille chuckle a little, ‘You know if it wouldn’t be painful I would actually kiss you now for saying that.’ 

Valerie was glad the half of her face Lucille could see was covered by the lumpy bag of frozen vegetables because the their half had gone completely red. It took her all of a few seconds to get her butterflies under control so she could respond without her voice shaking. 

‘Oh?’ she managed to quietly breath out, ‘That’s too bad. I think a kiss from you would be quite worth the pain.’ 

There was silence. The butterflies grew more fierce in Valerie’s stomach as she waited for a response from Lucille, and after several moments, none came. With the bag over her eye she couldn’t see Lucille and she was too scared to turn her head to look at her with her good eye. Valerie wondered if she had said the wrong thing, that all this time Lucille’s touches and comments had been nothing more than friendly and that she had suddenly crossed a line. She wondered if she should make a joke, talk about the weather, cough, do something to break up the tension!

And then, when she thought she would be joining the ever growing numbers of lesbians falling for their straight friends, she felt Lucille gently tuck a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear, and then there was soft breath tickling against her neck. Valerie could feel just about every little hair on her neck and arms stand up straight as Lucille ever so gently pressed her soft lips against Valerie’s neck, just under her ear. It was one of the most intimate kisses Valerie had ever experienced. Her heart was fluttering, her whole body humming pleasantly as Lucille slowly pulled away. 

And Valerie smiled. Damn the pain. 

She sighed contently, biting her lip to contain the overwhelming urge to laugh happily as she felt Lucille lean over and rest her head on her shoulder. They sat in a comfortable silence holding hands and Valerie couldn’t picture anything more perfect than that moment. After everything she had been through that weekend, at the very least, she thought, it came to a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks. Usually I try not to incorporate songs that no one has ever heard into stories, but I [listened to this on repeat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x00MCqDrM0E) while writing this and wanted to share. Perfect kitchen dancing tune. My wife can attest to it. 
> 
> Some familiar characters show up next week, and Valerie has a stroke of luck being in the right place at the right time for once. More kitchen shenanigans and a heart to heart to look forward to for our protagonists. Stay tuned! 
> 
> And special thanks for habitsandbicycles for proofreading this chapter to make sure it didn't sound too _American_. Goodness knows we can't have that! 
> 
> [Doodle 1](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-Chapter-7-742131947), [Doodle 2](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-Chapter-7-742132476), [Doodle 3!](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-Chapter-7-742132631)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of luck bestows our protagonist when she finds herself at the right place at the right time. Unfortunately her dumb mouth later gets her out of a kiss with the woman she has been crushing on. Oh well, such is Mondays.

Valerie woke that Monday morning feeling completely sore. Just opening her mouth to yawn proved to be quite painful and she wondered if she would be able to open it wide enough for the dentist to examine her tooth. 

She shot out of bed suddenly. What time was it? Would she be able to even see the dentist if it was too late in the day?

She grabbed her phone and saw it was nearly 11 o’clock. Blast. She looked online scrolling through her phone, looking for the closest dentist. Nonnatus medical offices on Lodore Street. That was only a few blocks away! She gave them a call and crossed her fingers there would be an opening. The phone rang for several moments and Valerie wondered if everyone had already gone out to lunch. 

‘Dockerill dentistry office, nurse speaking!’ Came a woman’s voice. She sounded charming and elderly.

‘Um, yes, hello. I seem to have a tooth loose that I think needs to come out. Does the dentist have any time today to have a look?’ 

‘Need a tooth pulled, eh? That’s such a shame, as I believe all of our extremities possess a certain useful value. Ah… let me see,’

Valerie heard what sounded like an enormous book being opened, several paper pages slowly turned by delicate fingers. Did this woman not have a computer in front of her?

‘Let’s see, let’s see… ah! It seems there’s been a cancellation this morning at 11:30. I believe you would be privy to come in at that time if you desire to see Dr. Dockerill at once! Oh and look!’

Valerie’s eyes widened as she listened.

‘Nurse Franklin will be stopping by for lunch! Oh how wonderful! She always does have the most delicious assortment of biscuits and cakes to share.’

Did this woman forget she was talking to a complete stranger? 

‘Rightio, so I’ll just pop by at 11:30 then?’ Valerie asked, hoping to reign back in this woman’s attention on her much needed appointment. 

‘Oh! Yes, your appointment! I’ve got you penciled in here for 11:30! See you then!’

‘Oh, wait, I never gave you my-‘ there was an audible click of the line being cut off 

‘...name?’ Valerie finished, looking at her phone. What a strange woman. She hoped that her appointment would still be available when she arrived. 

Throwing her phone on the bed, Valerie rushed to dress and try to look somewhat presentable by brushing her hair and teeth (carefully) and throwing some cold water in her face. A quick look in the mirror and she could see the prick who had punched her the night before had given her a real shiner on her left eye. It was bruised and almost swollen shut. Her left cheek remained swollen slightly as well. Valerie looked down at her hands and clenched her fists. Thankfully they had returned to their normal color but hurt slightly to flex. 

Valerie slipped on some trainers and rushed out of the house, walking quickly the few blocks to Lodore street. She didn’t quite trust that the woman was all there enough to have her marked down as an appointment, and with every passing moment her tooth ached and she needed it removed now!

She had almost not believed that the building she approached was a doctors office. The old, gold plated sign on the wall said Nonnatus Missions, but the sign on the door said Nonnatus Medical Offices, with a list of doctors, one of them being Dr. Dockerill. She took a step back and looked around. The building seemed like a monastery or a cathedral. Had it been converted into doctors offices? 

She climbed the steps and pushed open the large wooden door, stepping into a dark lobby with high ceilings and wood flooring. It looked like this place hadn’t been touched since its inception, however many centuries ago that was. Valerie had never seen a place like this before, no less medical offices. This whole situation seemed so peculiar and she hoped she hadn’t stumbled into some unlicensed back alley type of dentistry. She didn’t want to walk away from this missing a kidney!

There was another sign at the foot of the stairs with a list of doctors and their room numbers. Valerie was too concentrated on the name Dockerill that she didn’t notice any of the other names on the sign. Her tooth pulsed painfully in her mouth and she bounded up the stairs towards his office. The door she approached was heavy, the brass knob clunking awkwardly, and the door opening slowly with a loud creak. Valerie poked her head in to see a rather brightly lit and cheery office, completely different from her dour surroundings in the other side of the door. 

Valerie stepped inside and looked around. Comfortable looking chairs lined the wall, a coffee table in front if them adorned with a neat stack of magazines to flip through.  
Whitney Houston's ‘I Wanna Dance with Somebody’ played gently through the speakers in the ceiling. There was even a corner with books and toys for children to play with. The walls surrounding the corner adorned children’s drawings filled in with colored pencils and crayons. 

The only thing out of place was that the office was completely empty. Even the desk where Valerie would think an admin would sit was completely absent of life. 

Valerie approached the desk and looked around. There was indeed an enormous book of appointments laying out with hand written notes scribbled in under the dates. Pencils were neatly kept on an old coffee cup close by. A paperback copy of Carribean Kisses was laying open on the desk, the spine creased and the pages so brown and weathered, it looked as if the book had been read hundreds of times. There was a rotary phone placed next to the book that Valerie thought would be more appropriate in a museum by now. 

Valerie looked past the desk and saw that there was an open door with a short hallway, well lit, with even more offices in the back. She listened closely and could hear someone scuffling about. Thank goodness, she thought, the place wasn’t completely deserted. 

She cleared her throat, ‘Hello?’ she called tentatively. 

The head of a rather handsome blonde man appeared from one of the offices in the back. 

‘Ah, hello! Thought I heard someone come in!’ he disappeared again and Valerie could hear the sounds paper crinkling and being tossed in a bin. The man appeared in full view again wearing a set of blue scrubs and walked out to the front where Valerie was standing. 

‘Sorry about that,’ he said, placing his hands on his hips, ‘Monica Joan told me someone would be arriving around this time. I think she’s overbooked me for the afternoon and I wanted to quick get in a bite of my lunch before we’re swamped,’ he looked around, ‘Oh, she’s not here. Where the blazes…? Oh, never mind,’ he said dismissively, walking over towards the large notebook. 

‘Let’s see here… you must be Miss.... Tooth Extraction?’ He looked up with a slight smile. 

‘It’s Valerie, actually, but the receptionist never asked for my name over the phone.’ 

The man nodded, opening a drawer under the desk and filtering through some paperwork, ‘Not to worry, we’ll get you in there properly. Now…,’ he paused, looking up at Valerie, ‘Have you ever been in here before?’ 

‘No, this is my first time here.’

‘Splendid,’ he said, finding the paperwork he was looking for and clipping it to a board. He handed it to Valerie and he extended his arm, indicating for her to walk back towards the offices with him. 

‘I’ll just have you fill this out while I’m washing up and will have Monica Joan file it in our records… whenever she gets back,’ he led her to an office and stopped by the doorway. 

‘Oh! I’m Dr. Dockerill,’ he said, extending his hand, which Valerie shook, ‘pleasure to met you. Won't be a moment.’ 

He left her alone in the room and Valerie looked around. It seemed clean and sterile, with freshly polished chrome instruments neatly tucked away in jars. The beige dentist chair looked comfortable. She sighed and began filling out her paperwork, still rather amazed at the stark difference between the main building and this office. 

She put her paperwork aside and sat in the chair, her tongue absentmindedly coming to graze over her tooth and a twinge of pain shot through her nerve endings. Her hand automatically came to her cheek and she held her face in pain. Gosh she was going to be glad when she got this stupid tooth pulled. 

The dentist returned and pulled up a chair next to her before working his hands into some white latex gloves. 

‘So, which tooth is bothering you?’ 

‘Um, back left molar. Got into a bit of a scuffle at the pub and it was knocked loose.’ 

‘Ah,’ Dr. Dockerill said, pulling a tray of sterilized tools towards him, ‘I wasn’t going to ask, but I assume that’s how you got that black eye?’ 

Valerie merely nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

‘Not to worry. We’ll get this taken care of. Go ahead and lean back, please,’ he said, the chair tilting back. 

Valerie did as she was told, staring up at the ceiling while he examined her teeth. A ceiling tile had been replaced, she noted rather amused, with a scenic picture of a waterfall. She hissed in pain as one of his instruments grazed over the tooth in question, and he pulled away.

‘Sorry about that. Needed to see how far along it was. Thankfully though this seems pretty cut and dry.’ 

He leaned over and gave Valerie a reassuring smile, ‘I’ll be using a local anesthesia around the area and gently rock the tooth back and forth until it comes out. Sound good?’

‘Splendid.’ Valerie quipped. She just wanted this tooth out already. 

Valerie leaned back in the chair and looked at the ceiling waterfall while the dentist worked on her mouth. Her mind wandered back to her whirlwind of a weekend and the reason why she was here. Fucking prick of man saying those nasty things about the people in her pub. About Lucille. She still felt a twinge if guilt for punching the man, but damn if it didn’t feel good. He did say something about crooked noses and fat lips, and well, he certainly woke up this morning with one of each, Valerie thought rather smug. 

Her mind drifted off to the aftermath of the fight. She had made her aunt disappointed in her once again. Even though it had been painful for her hands, Valerie stayed much later than she usually did to help clean the kitchen until it was completely spotless. She even stayed and helped prep food for the next day so her Aunt wouldn’t have to worry about it today. She had to stop screwing up like this. 

She was going to use this day off to try and sit down and reflect. Figure out what she wanted to do. Maybe go over her CV once more and bunker down in front of the computer to send out another round of applications for a nursing position. Valerie sighed, the task seemed rather daunting, but it had to be done. Maybe once she secured a job she could look into moving into her own flat. That alone would certainly decrease the chance of her mother walking in on her and Lucille again. 

Valerie rolled her eyes as she recalled the moment from Sunday morning in the kitchen. She was so close to asking Lucille if she was… well, queer, the all encompassing term she used to describe anyone who wasn’t completely straight. If only her mother hadn't walked in at that very moment! Then again, she fondly recalled their moment in the alley behind the pub where Lucille had actually kissed her. Granted, it was a very chaste one on the neck, but still! It was a kiss! Someone who wasn't a little bit queer wouldn’t have done that, right? And hadn’t she said she hated seeing Valerie get hurt? And before then she had stayed over Saturday night to take care of Valerie and even held her until she fell asleep… she was already acting like a girlfriend! What the hell?! Ok, Valerie reasoned, she was going to talk to Lucille about all this soon, come hell or high water.

‘Alright,’ Dr. Dockerill commented, and Valerie heard the gentle clicking of bone against metal as the doctor placed her tooth in a sterile tray, ‘I just need you to bite down on this gauze for me, and then we’ll be all set.’

Valerie blinked, her thoughts dissolving to the recesses of her mind as she was brought back into the present. She bit down on the cotton after he firmly wedged it in the back of her mouth. 

‘Helps stop the bleeding,’ he commented, pulling away slightly. ‘How do you feel?’ He asked, ‘Any pain?’ 

Valerie noticed the area was still rather numb, but otherwise she didn’t even notice her tooth had been pulled. 

‘Feels alright,’ she shrugged. 

‘Wonderful!’ He said, removing his gloves, ‘the anesthetic should wear off within the hour. All I ask is you swish with some warm salt water for the next few days, and possibly take an anti inflammatory if you experience any swelling. And definitely no smoking for at least 24 hours.’ 

Valerie grimaced at that. She wanted to kick herself for not having a cigarette on the way over. 

Dr. Dockerill rolled his chair over to the counter with Valerie’s paperwork, ‘I think I heard Monica Joan come back into the office,’ he handed the papers back to Valerie as she stood, ‘just give these to her and she’ll get you in the files. You can also book a follow up if you like.’ 

Valerie nodded and made her way back to the front after the doctor bid her a good day. When she arrived, she saw a woman leaning over the counter, but she looked nothing like how the woman on the phone sounded. She was young. Probably Valerie’s age, with blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She wore her own set of blue scrubs, her purse draped over her arm as she casually leaned against the counter and scrolled through her phone. 

‘Um,’ Valerie said, and the woman looked up, smiling politely, ‘Sorry, do I give these to you?’ she held up the papers in her hands shyly. 

The woman grinned and put her phone away, ‘Oh, sorry sweetie, I don’t work here. I’m from the pediatric office across the hall…’ she stopped when she got a good look at Valerie’s face, ‘Oh, dear, are you alright?’

Valerie blushed, ‘Oh, I’m fine, really,’ she wondered briefly if she was going to be asked by every person she came across today what happened to her face. The thought made her want to run home and hide until she healed. 

‘Valerie Dyer!’ Came a shout from behind the front desk, and both Valerie and the blonde woman jumped.

Valerie looked over and noticed an elderly woman with coke bottle glasses smiling back at her from behind a tin of cake. The lenses were so thick it looked as if her eyes took up her whole face. 

‘Valerie, why I can’t believe my eyes!’ 

I bet you can’t, Valerie thought, staring at the woman. 

The woman's voice dropped, as if she was speaking to herself, ‘Of course, Jupiter and Saturn are now in alignment. It is entirely appropriate that you should appear.’

‘I’m sorry, have we met?’ Valerie asked as politely as she could muster. 

‘Oh, you don’t remember? You used to call me your Auntie Joan.’ She said with a resounding nod. 

Valerie‘s eyebrows shot up, ‘My what?’ If she had a grandmother still alive she would have surely known about it! 

‘I used to come over and look after you when you were a very small girl and your mother worked. Auntie Joan. was your name for me and we would sing songs and do puzzles and, my favorite, read books!’ She clasped her hands together and smiled nostalgically, ‘your favorites before nap time were the renderings of Homer and Shakespeare,’ 

Yeah, those all sounded like things that would certainly put Valerie to sleep.

Monica Joan sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose, staring back at Valerie, her smile turning to a frown. She slowly stood from her seated position at her desk, her eyes growing concerned. 

‘My word. What heathen has so savagely desecrated your beautiful face? How could anyone wish to harm such a loving and delicate creature?’ 

‘I was about to ask the same thing, Monica Joan,’ the blonde in scrubs said, ‘Though, not in so many words…’ 

‘Really, I’m fine,’ Valerie insisted, actually feeling more like she wanted to crawl into a pit and die, ‘look, I’m a nurse, alright? Just haven’t had a minute to properly patch myself up-‘ 

‘A nurse!’ Exclaimed Monica Joan, ‘Oh, how wonderful. You always had a natural curiosity for science and medicine. And you were so good with caring for others,’ she sat back down and picked up a fork, ‘I remember you would take the wooden sticks from your iced lollies and pretend they were tongue depressors. Pray, child, does your cat Nikki still run away at the sight of them?’

Valerie was absolutely perplexed. She still had no idea who this woman was and was rather baffled how she knew so many details about her life, ‘What, iced lollies? I wouldn’t know. Can’t remember the last time I had one.’ 

‘For the best then. She was traumatized at the sight of them after you attempted to use one on her as a rectal thermometer.’

OK, now Valerie really wanted to crawl into a pit and die. She brought the papers she was holding to her face to hide the embarrassed blush crawling up from her neck to her ears. 

‘Poor cat,’ the blonde quipped as she shook her head disapprovingly. 

Dr. Dockerill, much to Valerie’s relief, reappeared from the back offices suddenly. 

‘Monica Joan! There you are. Have you set Ms. Dyer straight with a follow up appointment?’ 

‘I shall do so post haste!’ She said, taking a bite of cake. 

‘Splendid!’ He looked over and saw the blonde woman standing there, ‘Oh, Trixie! I’m sorry! I forgot we had lunch plans today,’ he looked regretful, ‘I think I’m overbooked this afternoon, can we take a rain check?’ 

‘Of course, Christopher,’ Trixie smiled, ‘Just as well, I wanted to make sure Monica Joan made her way back to work safely,’ she said, looking back at Monica Joan, ‘I think you found yourself in our office when you were headed back from the toilet, looking for cake, I assume?’

‘I was going to call you, but you just have so many nine’s in your number,’ she said, taking another bite, ‘I thought it best to stretch my legs and seek cake for myself.’ 

‘And by jove you found it!’ Trixie exclaimed, turning to Valerie with a wink, ‘No cake is safe from this woman.’ 

‘So it seems,’ Valerie managed to eek out, still horrifyingly embarrassed from Monica Joan’s recollection of her childhood shenanigans. 

Trixie’s gaze lingered on her and her smile turned sympathetic, ‘Are you sure I can’t at least give you a fresh plaster for your chin before you go on your way?’ 

Valerie brought her hand to her chin and felt the plaster there from when she fell on the barstool on Saturday afternoon. It felt moist.

‘Oh,’ Valerie said, ‘the cut must have opened again,’ she looked back up at Trixie, ‘Are you sure? I wouldn’t be interrupting your lunch break or anything?’ 

‘It’s no bother, really. The office is right across the hall. Will only take a minute.’ 

‘Your papers, please,’ Monica Joan interjected, holding her hand out, ‘The doctor has requested you schedule a follow up and I am determined to see it through.’ 

Valerie handed her the paperwork and shrugged, ‘Um… Same time next week?’

Monica Joan nodded, smiling. She licked her finger and grabbed the corner of a page in her enormous book. The paper was so large she nearly had to extend her arm over her head and bring it back down again to turn the page. Her right hand reached for a pencil from the cup and she brought her nose down to the page as she penciled in an appointment for Valerie. 

‘Valerie… Dyer… Monday…11:30!’ 

She looked up with a toothy smile, quite proud of herself, ‘See you next week, sweet child!’ 

‘Um, thank you… Auntie.’ Valerie mumbled, still feeling quite awkward. The kind smile she received in return made it worth it.

Trixie and Valerie walked out of the office just as the afternoon appointments showed up, filling the dentistry waiting room with some much needed human life. 

‘This way,’ Trixie nodded as they stepped out into the dark hallway. Valerie looked around, remembering the dramatic difference and thinking this whole building was quite strange. 

‘What’s with this place, anyway? I mean, do you know the history?’

‘The building, you mean? Oh, it used to be a convent.’ 

‘Oh, that’s probably why it feels so depressing out here,’ Valerie smirked, and Trixie smiled. 

‘Well, the developers wanted to keep the structural integrity of the building by not gutting some of the main areas… That’s what they said, anyway, but I really think they just ran out of funding to remodel the whole building.’ 

‘So part of it was just converted into doctors offices?’ 

‘Yes, about ten years ago, for non-emergencies and regular appointments and the like, but the hospital is just around the corner. It was a convenient bit of real estate they scooped up when they had the chance,’ Trixie said as she approached a door, ‘We’re just through here.’ 

She turned the brass knob and the heavy wooden door opened to reveal a much bigger and more active office. Many families were sitting in the waiting area, children were sitting in the corner playing with toys and books, worried mothers doted over their sick children pulled from school with some illness or another. 

‘Trixie! I thought you went out to lunch?’ A small woman with sharp glasses and a soft Scottish lit quipped from behind the counter. She stood from her chair and revealed herself to be very pregnant. 

‘Don’t get up Sheila! Just popped back in for a second,’ Trixie looked over her shoulder and beckoned for Valerie to follow her. 

‘Well when you are done,’ Shelagh said, pulling papers out of a filing cabinet next to her desk, ‘we could really use some help. Barbara just got called over to the maternity ward to see Mrs. Potter's delivery through so we’ll be short a person all afternoon.’ 

‘Good grief,’ Trixie mumbled, ‘Good thing I didn’t go far. I suppose it’s frozen pizza for me again,’ she said, breezing past Shelagh and opening a door to the back. Valerie followed and closed the door behind her. 

‘This really isn’t necessary, um, Trixie,’ Valerie said, feeling bad, ‘it seems they could use your help more than I.’ 

‘Oh nonsense, it’s still my lunch break and I can spend it as I like,’ she opened an empty examination room, ‘Now come on then, in you go.’ 

Valerie obliged, leaning against the table while Trixie fussed with some drawers, revealing cotton balls and saline solution and fresh plasters. 

‘Take off the old one and toss it in the bin there, please,’ she instructed. She winced when Valerie removed the plaster, ‘Ooh, that looks like it smarts. Did you get this one at the same time as that black eye?’ 

‘No, this came from the day before.’ Valerie crossed her arms and leaned back. 

‘Rough weekend?’ she asked as she used a gauze to clean up the fresh blood on Valerie's chin. 

‘To put it mildly, yeah,’ Valerie remarked, her eyes scanning the medical room adorned with posters on how to properly wash your hands and the appropriate nomenclature within the cardiovascular system. 

Trixie dabbed her cut with saline solution and the silver glint of a pin from her shirt caught the light and Valerie focused on it. It was round with three horizontal stripes, each a different color. Pink, purple, and blue. 

Valerie's eyes narrowed as she stared at the pin. She had seen those colors before but she couldn’t put her finger on where. She racked her brain for a moment wondering if she had seen something online? In a movie? On a poster? What was the significance of those three colors together and where had she…

Her mind flashed back suddenly to Saturday night when she was pissed and ranting in front of the pub. Lucille was there. The necklace her wore dipped out of her shirt and it was revealed to be a pendant. She was wearing those colors around her neck. 

‘Trixie… your pin,’ Valerie nodded towards her as Trixie unwrapped a fresh plaster. 

‘Hmm?’ Trixie looked down at it absentmindedly, ‘What about it?’ 

‘Those colors… do they mean something?’

Trixie smiled shyly, ‘Yes,’ she said quietly, placing a fresh plaster on Valerie's chin gently, ‘it’s the colors of the bisexual pride flag.’ 

Valerie's eyebrows shot up, and she looked back at Trixie wide eyed, ‘Really?!’

Valerie's mind was racing. If Lucille was wearing those colors, then did that mean she was bisexual? Everything would certainly make a lot more sense if she was and Valerie thought she would finally have the courage to come right out and ask her about it. 

Trixie stepped back, a little defensive, ‘Yes, really. Is that a problem?’

Valerie shook her head quickly, ‘No, no, not at all. I’m sorry, I just… didn’t know about it. I’m only familiar with the gay pride flag.’ 

Trixie look a little bit relieved, ‘Oh, well, good. You never know with some people. There’s a lot of animosity towards bisexuals from both straight and gay people so it’s hard to be open about it to anyone. Every straight man I date thinks I want a threesome and every lesbian I date doesn’t trust that I won’t leave them for a man because it’s socially convenient.’ She huffed. 

‘I… I’ve heard about that,’ Valerie said, ‘and I think that’s a shame. It’s horrible. I think queer people need to stick together no matter where one may fall on the kinsey scale.’ 

Trixie leaned against the counter and crossed her arms, smiling slightly, ‘Well… thanks. Would you consider yourself an ally then?’

‘An ally? Wait a minute, do you think I’m straight?’ Valerie asked, almost incredulously. 

Trixie shrugged, ‘I don’t like to make assumptions.’

Quick and heavy footsteps and a blur of orange hair and blue scrubs ran past the door, causing both Valerie and Trixie to look in it’s direction. The two women sat in a stunned silence as they could hear the door to the front lobby opening and the sounds of chaos echoing through the building. The blur came back and poked her head into their room. 

‘Trixie! I thought that was you! Thank goodness, I need your help!’

Valerie blinked, opening her good eye as wide as she could. This woman looked very familiar. 

‘What on earth is going on out there?’ Trixie asked. 

‘Shelagh’s water just broke!’

‘What! She’s at least three weeks early!’ 

‘I know! And we have a room full of patients and no one to…’ the woman stopped and looked at Valerie, her eyes wide. 

‘Dyer, is that you?’

Valerie’s body acted reflexively, her mind suddenly registering this woman as the very captain she had served in Kandahar with. No wonder she didn’t recognize her immediately, she had never seen her out of uniform! Valerie quickly stood up straight to attention, bringing her hands to her sides, ‘Captain Mount,’ she nodded acknowledgingly, unsure of what to say. 

‘You two served together?’ Trixie asked, her eyes darting from Valerie to Patsy. 

‘That’s right. We were in Kandahar together,’ Captain Mount said. She smirked and shook her head, ‘Dyer, relax. We’re not in the military anymore,’ she said, taking a step into the room, ‘and you can call me Patsy now.’

‘Erm, sorry. Habit.’ Valerie said awkwardly. 

‘No worries, I get it,’ Patsy reassured her, then tilted her head slightly, eyebrow raised, ‘What the hell happened to you?’

Valerie sighed, resolving to just tell the truth this time. She held her hands behind her back as she spoke, trying to remain as cavalier as possible, ‘Oh, you know. Just doing my bit to tamp down on the rising tide of white nationalism plaguing the country.’

‘You were in a fight?’ Trixie asked. 

Valerie shrugged, nodding. 

‘What happened to the other guy?’ Patsy asked. 

‘Broke his nose.’

Patsy grinned, ‘Atta girl.’

‘Good lord, I understand why you did it but was it worth losing a tooth over?’ Trixie asked. 

‘Dyer is no stranger to making sacrifices for her country,’ Patsy quipped from the door, smiling proudly at Valerie, ‘Well, good on you, then.’

The sound of teething babies with ear infections carried shrilly through the hallway behind Patsy, bringing her back to the current predicament. 

‘Right, well, Trixie, Sheila’s in the back getting cleaned up. She’s called Dr. Turner to come and see her to the maternity ward, and can watch the front until he comes. I don’t know what we're going to do with just the two of us all afternoon.’

‘Dr. Turner?’ Valerie asked, ‘The same Dr. Turner from Kandahar? The surgeon?’

‘The very same,’ Patsy smiled, ‘he’s Sheila’s husband.’ 

Valerie did some quick math in her head, ‘Blimey, they didn’t waste any time, did they?’ 

Patsy shook her head, ‘They were, ah, quite excited to see each other as soon as we touched down in Lakenheath, I’ll say that.’ 

‘What about Delia?’ Trixie interjected, ‘Can she come in and help out? I thought medical admin was her background?’ 

Patsy grimaced, ‘She’s visiting her parents this week in Pembrokeshire for her mother’s birthday. She won’t be back until Thursday evening.’ 

‘Oh bloody hell. And I bet Phyllis wouldn’t phathom coming out of retirement to come help out. She’s probably halfway to Machu Picchu by now anyway.’ 

‘Really? Her last Instagram post showed her playing cricket at the Taj Mahal!’ 

‘The woman certainly doesn’t dawdle.’ 

‘Um,’ Valerie piped up, and the two women looked at her, ‘Could I… I mean, I’m not doing anything the rest of the afternoon. I wouldn’t mind sticking around to help out if you really need it. It's just working the front desk, yeah?’ 

‘You’re volunteering?’ Trixie asked.

Patsy smiled and leaned against the doorframe, ‘Of course she is. Dyer’s always been the first to jump into a high stress situation and help.’

‘You sure?’ Trixie asked Valerie, ‘You really don’t mind being stuck here all afternoon?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘I was just going to go home and apply to jobs, anyway. Why would I do that when one just basically landed in my lap?’ 

‘Ever the resourceful one,’ Patsy quipped. She clapped her hands resoundingly, going into leadership mode, ‘Right, let's get you into some fresh scrubs and sit you down with Shelagh before she leaves. She can brief you on her process and go over the remainder of the appointments for the day.’ 

‘I’ll get you changed,’ Trixie said, ‘Need to go to the back anyway and scarf down what I can while there’s still time. Think I might pass out if I don’t get some lunch in me soon!’ 

Patsy moved out of the way as Trixie breezed through the door, poking her head back in to address Valerie, ‘Well, come on then, let’s put you to work!’ 

Valerie smiled and followed, only stopping when Patsy gently placed a hand on her shoulder. 

‘By the way, it’s really good to see you Dyer.’ 

‘You too, Captain.’ 

Patsy smiled and pointed a finger warningly, ‘Dr. Mount while you’re in scrubs. Otherwise I insist you start calling me Patsy!’

Valerie gave a cheeky grin and winked, ‘Aye, aye, Captain.’ 

Patsy gave her a playful swat on the arm and the two parted ways, Valerie to the back to change and Patsy to the front to deal with the chaos.

* * *

It was quarter past six when the last patient left for the day, and Valerie was particularly frazzled. Slumped back in the desk chair, she recalled it being rather stressful from the moment she had sat down with Shelagh to go over her routine. Holding the woman’s hand while she breathed through contractions just added to the stress of learning how to handle her job for the afternoon. On top of that was pacifying the screaming children, stressed out parents, and nervous expectant mothers while they waited to see either Patsy or Trixie for their appointment. 

Adults. Valerie was used to working with adults (arguably, the men in the service more often than not seemingly stopped maturing mentally past 12, but at least they knew when to sit down and keep quiet). The children here were adorable and probably much more tolerable when they weren’t sick, and Valerie marveled at how Shelagh was able to sit out here with the day after day without snapping. 

Patsy followed the last sniffling patient out the door before locking it behind their retreating forms. She turned around and leaned against the door. 

Trixie appeared next to Valerie with some files in her hands, idly licking her fingers and flipping through the papers

‘Is the coast clear?’ Patsy asked quietly. 

‘They’re all gone,’ said Trixie blithely. 

Patsy sighed dramatically and fell to her knees, sprawling out on the floor of the lobby. 

Valerie stood and looked over the counter at her, quite amused to see the normally composed Captain laid out on the floor, ‘So that’s a Monday, huh?’

‘I hate Mondays,’ Patsy grumbled from the floor. She rolled over onto her back and threw her arms over her eyes, ‘If someone isn’t sick, they’re on holiday or pregnant and having babies. And on days when we’re completely booked, too, with no one to cover.’ 

‘Oh, quit your bellyaching. It’s all over now.’ Trixie remarked, unamused. 

‘Monday. It’s always a Monday.’ Patsy mumbled, not listening. 

‘Do you usually stay this late?’ Valerie asked, addressing Trixie. 

Trixie put away the file she was holding as she nodded, ‘We work ten hour days from eight to six. But we’re only open from Monday through Thursday, so we get our 40 hours in and have a three day weekend every week. It works out rather well, I’d say.’

‘Gosh, That does sound really nice. Where I work now the hours are a little dotty.’

‘Where’s that?’ Trixie asked. 

‘Oh, my Aunts pub,’ she shrugged, ‘Just pulling pints there until I can get my foot in doing something with nursing, but I’m having a bit of terrible luck in that regard.’ 

‘You’re working at a pub?!’ Patsy exclaimed, sitting up from where she was on the lobby floor. 

‘Yeah, I mean, it’s something to do while I wait for someone to call back, isn’t it?’ 

‘What a waste,’ she got up from the floor and walked over to the counter, ‘fresh out of the military with a year of working in trauma under your belt, can work with a team, follow orders, and work well under pressure... Seriously, no one's called you back?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Maybe the NHS is full up.’ 

Trixie sputtered, ‘Clearly not! We basically had to pull you in from off the street to get a little help around here! Thank our stars I found you when I did, god knows what we would have done otherwise.’

‘Well, I suppose you weren’t expecting for Shelagh to go into labor today.’ 

‘Slight oversight on our part, really,’ Patsy mumbled, ‘but that reminds me, Valerie, we were going to hire a temp while she was away on maternity leave, but I mean, if you want the job, it’s yours while she’s gone. It’s just admin work but it’s at least something you can add to your CV while you wait for something in your field to open up. It’ll look better than working at the pub, at any rate.’ 

‘Really?’ Valerie sat up in the chair and stared back at Patsy with eyes, ‘are you sure?’ 

‘Of course! Bring your CV in tomorrow and I’ll get it all sorted to have you hired and in the system officially. Will even get you back paid for your hours today.’ 

Valerie leaned back in her chair, bringing her hand to her chin contemplatively, ‘Hmm. I don’t know. At the pub I get all the free beer and food that I want.’ 

‘Unbelievable,’ said Trixie, ‘as here we are actually paying for pub food like idiots. Honestly Patsy, we went into the wrong profession.’ 

‘Well you know what that pub doesn’t have,’ Patsy said matter of fact. 

‘What’s that?’

Patsy pulled Trixie towards her and the two wrapped their arms around each others waist. 

‘Us!’

‘Yeah, we’re awesome!’ Trixie beamed. 

‘Yeah, but free beer,’ Valerie retorted with a smirk. 

‘Oh you cheeky monkey!’ Trixie exclaimed, untangling herself from Patsy and putting her hands on her hips. 

‘What’s it gonna take, Dyer. Do you want us to beg?’ Asked Patsy. 

‘Well if you did it would certainly put this up there as the most interesting job interview I’ve ever had.’ 

‘I’ll do it,’ Patsy leaned her elbows on her counter and clasped her hands together, ‘I don’t want to, but I will. I’ll beg.’

‘Well I certainly won’t,’ Trixie said, hands on her hips, ‘Free beer or not, I’ve been a nurse for six years and never went home with a shiner like that before,’ she pointed to Valerie’s face, ‘so that’s something to consider. At least if you work here no one will knock you upside the head and you’ll go home with all your teeth at the end of the day.’

Valerie nodded, ‘Fair point,’ she said, and took a moment to look back and forth between Patsy's pleading gaze and Trixies stern but motherly one. She was rather enjoying keeping them in suspense but she didn’t want to blow her opportunity by having too much fun with it. 

‘Oh, alright. Shall I pop in first thing then?’ 

‘Yes!’ Patsy exclaimed, clenching her fists in victory. 

‘We’re open at 8, but I typically get in around 7:30,’ Trixie said, heading towards the hallway to the back offices, ‘so if you want to come in around then I should be here to let you in,’ she finished, disappearing down the hall. 

‘Suppose I’ll have to get used to waking up early in the morning again.’ 

‘Dyer you’re a real lifesaver. You’ll love working here. We’re all actually a pretty great team when we’re all here.’ Patsy said. 

Valerie smirked, ‘Did you seriously think I would say no?’ 

‘Heaven knows. It’s not as if I’m your commanding officer anymore. I can’t just go around telling you what to do, can I?’ 

Valerie stood to follow Trixie back through the hallway. 

‘Aren’t you technically my boss now? I think you can go back to your comfort zone of barking orders at me.’ 

‘Oh, I guess I am now, aren’t I?’ She said, pausing for a moment before replying indignantly, ‘I do not bark!... Do I bark?’ 

Valerie merely smiled.

* * *

The three women locked up and parted ways around 7 that evening, Valerie having changed back into her regular clothes. She carried her new set of scrubs under her arm with plans to run them through the wash when she arrived home. Her grumbling stomach also reminding her that she had forgotten to eat that day. She was very much looking forward to seeing what she might have in the house to whip up when her phone chimed in her pocket. She pulled it out, her eyes widening when it was revealed to show several missed text messages from Lucille. Valerie unlocked her phone and read as she walked towards her house. 

>> Hey, good morning! Hope you slept well and your face isn’t too sore!

>> I told my church friends the story about what happened at the pub and they were very impressed with you! 

>> They might make you a cake as thanks for being so awesome, heads up! 

>> Are you going to the dentist today? 

>> Hopefully you can still eat the cake after they take your tooth out. 

>> It’s so slow here today. I’ll be happy when the term starts back up and we get some more life here in the library! 

>> Evangelina has us dusting the tops of the shelves and checking to see that all the books are in order! I got my outfit all dusty. 

>> She and Jenny are being mean to Chummy for knocking over a display set. 

>> I think I might play a prank on them while they’re gone for lunch. 

>> Ok. Her and Jenny’s computers are back to back from one another. I switched their mouses so Jenny is controlling Evangelina’s computer now and visa versa. 

>> They just got back from lunch and sat down at their computers together. 

>> They’re screaming. 

>> They have no idea what’s going on. 

>> Evangelina thinks her mouse is broken and is slamming the thing against the desk. 

>> I’m dying. Valerie. Oh my god. 

>> I’m not changing the mouse's back. 

>> They’re still screaming. 

>> I’ve managed to get Evangelina to say ‘fuck’. This is the best day ever. 

>> Oh thank goodness, the kids are here. Something to do. 

>> Ugh, Valerie, where are you?

‘Uh oh,’ Valerie said out loud as she approached her house. She pressed the call button and held the phone to her ear, waiting for Lucille to pick up. 

‘Finally!’ she heard Lucille say on the other line, ‘I was beginning to think you had died, or gone off me. You still like me, right?’ 

Valerie laughed, her heart melting a little, ‘Lou, of course I do! Sorry I haven’t texted back all day, but I just about had the best day ever!’ 

‘Oh? Tell me about it! It was probably way more exciting than the day I had.’

Valerie patted her pockets for her keys and opened her front door, ‘Oh I don’t know, I’m really interested in hearing about this prank you pulled on Evangelina and Jenny.’ 

‘Oh my gosh, I’m still cracking up thinking about it. I had to hide under my desk so they couldn’t see me laughing. They were so upset,’ Lucille paused and Valerie listened to her break down in giggles, ‘Oh, god, I can still hear them shouting at each other thinking the computers were damn near possessed.’

Valerie smiled, ‘Serves them right for being mean to Chummy.’ 

‘Absolutely. She’s so darling, just a bit clumsy. So tell me about your day! How did it go with the dentist?’ 

‘Oh, he pulled the tooth out, so now I really look like a proper Poplar girl. It doesn’t hurt though, thankfully. The only downside is that I haven’t been able to have a cigarette all day, but I’ve been so busy I haven’t even noticed,’ 

‘Oh? Why’s that? I thought you had the day off work today?’ 

‘I did! But, OK, first of all, there’s a woman who works in the dentist office who says she looked after me when I was a kid, but I have no idea who this woman is. It was just so strange! She took one look at me and recognized me immediately and knew my full name all these details about my life. I’ll have to ask my mother about her because I honestly have no recollection.’ 

Valerie thought it was best to leave out the story about her almost sodomizing the cat. 

‘Also she said that of course I showed up that day because Saturn and Mercury were in alignment or something?’

‘Oh, I like her already!’

Valerie rolled her eyes, ‘Anyway, some nurse named Trixie happened to be there and took one look at my face and dragged me into her office to patch me up. All of a sudden their receptionist went into labor and then it turns out my old Captain I was deployed with is the doctor in that office! Everything was absolute chaos, but they knew I was a nurse and asked me to stay and help out.’ She made her way to the kitchen and threw her new scrubs in the wash and started the machine. 

‘Really?’

‘Yes! So that’s what I’ve been doing all afternoon. They’ve asked me to stay on while their admin is on maternity leave! Lou, I may have finally found a job. It’s not permanent but,’ she shrugged. 

‘Oh that’s wonderful! Are you going to do anything to celebrate?’ 

‘No idea. I’m completely knackered and haven’t eaten all day,’ she opened the refrigerator and looked around. 

‘Oh! What are you having for dinner?’ 

‘Erm,’ Valerie checked the freezer. Bare. ‘Well by the looks of it, probably a bowl of dry cinnamon sugar flakes,’ she shook a half empty box of cereal from the top of the refrigerator for emphasis. ‘Seems we haven’t been to the supermarket in ages.’

‘What?! That’s not dinner!’

‘Sure it is! Anything can be dinner if you put your mind to it!’ She reached into the box and grabbed a handful of cereal. 

‘Valerie please tell me you have something of more substance to eat.’

Valerie shoved a handful of cereal into her mouth and crunched noisily, ‘What’chu mean? This is full of fiber.’ 

Valerie's eyes widened suddenly. She stopped chewing and made her way to the rubbish bin, holding the phone away as she spit her mouthful of food out. She stuck her finger in her mouth and scooped out the bloody gauze the dentist had put in there earlier that day to stop the bleeding. 

‘Ugh, for fucks sake, forgot I had that in there.’

‘What happened??’ Valerie could hear Lucille exclaim from the phone. 

‘Lost my appetite, that’s what,’ she said holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she tied off the rubbish bag and put it by the back door. 

‘How?’ 

‘The cereal went bad,’ she lied. 

‘Oh for the love of... Valerie, do you really not have anything to eat there?’

‘I assure you we’re not destitute, we just eat at the pub a lot. Family meals aren’t really a thing here.’

Valerie heard Lucille sigh over the phone, she seemed to be hesitating. 

‘Do… do you want to come over?’ She asked sounding nervous, ‘I can make something for you.’ 

‘Uh, I mean, that would be nice but I don’t want to put you out. I’m sure you’re tired from your day of pulling pranks and chasing children around.’ 

‘No, I mean, you wouldn’t be putting me out. I want you to come over. I would really love to make you dinner, actually,’ she sounded very shy all of a sudden, which Valerie found quite endearing. ‘You can finally try some of this cooking I’ve been raving about… oh, gosh, I hope I haven’t built it up too much.’

Valerie gave a sympathetic laugh, ‘I’m sure anything you make will be divine.

‘Oh goodness, now I really need to do well!’ 

‘Don’t stress! Anything you make will be much better than the mouthful of old cereal I just had.’ 

Lucille laughed, ‘Alright, well if that’s where the bar is set then I think I can manage. I think I have the fixings to whip up some curry, if you like?’

‘Ooh, I do like,’ Valerie said, her appetite coming back full force. 

Lucille giggled, ‘Come over around 8? I should have everything ready by then.’ 

Valerie looked at the clock and saw it was 7:30. Just enough time to get ready. ‘Alright, I’ll see you then,’ she ended the call, smiling.

* * *

Valerie arrived at Lucille's door, bottle of white wine found from the dark hidden recesses of the kitchen cupboards in hand, freshly showered, and dressed in a T-shirt and shorts. After much back and forth between trousers and shorts, she recalled the way Lucille had looked at her legs when she spent the night on Saturday, and thought it would be entirely appropriate to let the woman objectify her, if she chose to do so. She was making her dinner, after all. 

The swelling from her tooth extraction earlier that day had thankfully completely died down. The only markings in her face being her bruised eye that was also fading, and the plaster on her chin. 

After softly knocking on the green door, she stepped back as footsteps approached, and was surprised to find not Lucille, but Jenny appearing from behind the door. 

‘Oh, hi! Valerie, right?’ 

‘Yeah, hi, nice to see you again Jenny,’ 

Jenny opened the door wider, ‘Lucille said she was having a friend come over,’ she nodded her head and stepped aside indicating for Valerie to come in. 

Jenny closed the door behind her and Valerie took a moment to look around the cozy lounge. There was a secondhand blue sofa with a grey throw facing a television perched on a chest of drawers. On either side were bookcases full to the brim with, which Valerie imagined, books from both Lucilles and Jenny’s collection. Posters of famous artwork decorated the walls, and in the corner was a record player with a stack of 45’s. 

Jenny walked past her to the middle of the room, ‘Lucille's just in the kitchen. Sorry for the mess,’ she said, collecting books and paperwork from the coffee table in front of the sofa, ‘I’m doing a bit of research for a project and have a habit of sprawling out like this. I’d typically do my work on the computer but technology does not seem to be agreeing with me today.’

Valerie turned her head as she attempted to stifle a grin. 

‘Oh? What’s the project?’ Valerie asked politely after she composed herself. 

‘Oh, I’m writing a book about Poplar, actually. The history of the area.’ 

‘Really? Gosh, you know, my family has been here for generations. I don’t know how far back we go, but my mum and her sisters grew up here in the 60’s and 70’s. If you ever need someone to talk to I can connect you with them.’ 

Jenny smiled, ‘That would be grand, actually. Up ‘till now my research has been mainly from documents, but I suppose it’s about time I go out and talk with the locals.’

Valerie shrugged, ‘Well, you can always pop in the pub. Some relative of mine or another is bound to be there for you to have chat with.’

Jenny smiled, ‘Thanks, I think I just might stop by sometime this week.’

Valerie watched as Jenny stacked her papers and placed them neatly in a folder, ‘Is this your first book?’ She asked politely. 

‘Oh, well, this is the first that I might have published as a paperback, but I’ve written short stories before. Sold them electronically on amazon.’ 

‘Really?’ Valerie asked, ‘That’s wonderful.’ 

‘Thanks! I, uh, well, I do it as a side gig, really, the short stories. They’re a bit of a scandalous nature,’ she admitted blushing, ‘I got the idea from reading fan fiction, of all the things.’

‘That so?’ 

‘Yeah, I mean, some of the stories out there are rubbish, but others are so good! Some of them could be their own novels outright. It's hard for me to believe these people actually spend all this time and effort writing these wonderful stories and just put their work out there for free like that!’

Valerie tisked, ‘What a bunch of idiots.’ Jenny nodded in agreement. 

‘Oh, Val! I didn’t hear you come in!’ Lucille said peering from the kitchen. 

‘Ah, sorry,’ Jenny said, ‘I’ve been keeping her here talking about my projects.’

‘No matter,’ Lucille said, walking over towards them. Valerie couldn’t help but notice Lucille give her appearance a once over with a lingering glance at her legs. The shorts were the right choice. 

Valerie looked on amused as she watched Lucille blink and compose herself slightly, ‘Um, dinner is ready if you want to come back to the kitchen. Oh,’ she said, looking at the bottle of wine in Valerie's hands, ‘is that for us?’ 

‘Of course! Hope you like it, I just grabbed what I could find in the house.’ 

Lucille took the bottle from her, smiling, ‘This will go wonderfully with dinner, thank you for bringing it.’ 

Valerie smiled back and rocked on her heels. The sight of Lucille smiling always made her heart flutter. She turned to Jenny who was standing close by, ‘Erm, will you be joining us?’ 

‘Oh, no, I’m off to bed, but you two enjoy yourselves.’ She shot a sly look to Lucille, which did not go unnoticed by Valerie. Her eyes glanced over to Lucille, who looked bristled and quickly turned back toward the kitchen. 

‘I’ll just go and open this,’ Lucille mumbled as she disappeared back into the kitchen. 

Jenny bade Valerie a good night and turned to head upstairs. Valerie curiously followed Lucille to the kitchen, where she was met with the sight of her standing over the stove, casually stirring the curry in the saucepan with a wooden spoon. 

‘Sorry about that,’ Lucille said shyly. 

‘Hmm? About what?’ 

‘I should have mentioned before that Jenny is my flatmate.’ 

‘Oh? Why’s that?’ Valerie crossed her arms and leaned her shoulder against the frame of the kitchen entrance. 

‘I… I don’t know, actually. It’s just…,’ Lucille blinked and shook her head slightly, shrugging her shoulders, ‘I guess… for some reason I thought you would mind me living with her or something.’

‘Mind you having a flatmate?’ Valerie asked confused. Or mind her living with another woman, Valerie thought briefly. She wondered for a moment if that’s what Lucille meant by that. 

‘That’s weird, right? I’m being weird. I’ll shut up now. Sorry.’ 

Valerie smiled, finding Lucille’s awkwardness rather endearing. ‘You know, you’re beginning to sound like a proper British person apologizing for everything all the time.’ 

Lucille stuck her tongue out at Valerie before returning to her stirring. 

Valerie took a moment to look at Lucille and thought she looked rather cute in her own t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and skinny jeans that wonderfully accentuated that perfectly round bottom of hers. 

Valerie’s eyes shot up when Lucille turned to face her holding out a spoonful of curry. 

‘Come here. Have a taste if this and let me know what you think.’ 

Valerie walked over and reached for the spoon, but Lucille smiled and pulled it away. 

‘I’ve got it. Just taste,’ she bit her lip shyly. 

Looking down slightly to try and hide the blush that was crawling up her neck to the tips of her ears, Valerie tentatively opened her mouth and tried not to notice Lucille’s gaze on her as she wrapped her lips around the spoon. The curry tasted of absolute perfection as far as Valerie was concerned, if not a bit hot. 

‘So?’ Lucille asked, eyeing her curiously. 

Valerie licked her lips and placed a hand on Lucille’s shoulder. 

‘Congrats, Lou, you’ve finally done it.’ 

Lucille looked absolutely perplexed, ‘Done what?’ 

‘You’ve managed to kill me,’ Valerie said, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she dramatically clutched her heart and fell to the floor with a thump. 

Lucille laughed, kneeling down and clutching at Valerie’s shirt, ‘Oh no! Valerie you can’t die on me, I’ve made too much food to eat all by myself!’ 

‘I’m sure you’ll manage,’ Valerie croaked out. 

‘Tell me nurse, what do I need to do to bring you back to life? CPR?’ 

Valerie considered for a moment how lovely some mouth to mouth resuscitation would be with Lucille, but before she could respond, the woman above her shook her head and smiled. 

‘You know, this is the third day in a row I’ve seen you end up on the floor in one way or another.' 

‘Gravity is funny like that.’ Valerie quipped. 

Lucille giggled, ‘Shall we try and defy gravity by sitting up? Or are you more comfortable here? We can certainly have dinner lying down on the floor if you prefer, you’re the guest after all.’

‘As much as I would love to join you for dinner, I’m still quite dead,’ Valerie said closing her eyes. 

‘Oh bother, I suppose I’ll have to give it a go.’ 

‘Give what a gAHH!’ Valerie yelped when Lucille put her mouth over her nose and blew. The action caused a gust of air to exit through Valerie’s mouth and it was quite frankly the strangest sensation she had ever felt. Valerie bolted upright and grabbed onto Lucille’s wrists. 

‘Oh! That was a nasty trick you sneaky little-‘

Lucille looked back with wide eyes and a wide smile, almost crying with laughter, ‘I’ve never done it before! I don’t know how! I don’t know how to CPR! Ahh!’

‘You very well know that’s not how it’s done you cheeky girl!’ Valerie pushed Lucille onto her back and saw that her shirt had risen just enough for her to do what she wanted, ‘You’re going to pay for that right now!’ She quickly lowered her mouth to Lucille’s hip and gave her a raspberry. 

Lucille’s eyes shut tight as she screamed with laughter and kicked her legs,’Ah! No! Mercy! Uncle! Uncle!’ Valerie couldn’t help but laugh as Lucille tensed and squirmed under her at the same time. 

Lucille pointed a finger at Valerie as best she could with her wrist held in Valerie’s grip, ‘But it worked! Didn’t it? I brought you back from the dead!’ 

Valerie sputtered, ‘You ever need to breath life into me you do it the proper way!’

‘You can’t make me!’ 

‘Like hell I can!’ She bent down and blew a raspberry on her stomach.

Lucille screamed and squirmed again, ‘Ahh! Alright! I’ll be good! I’ll be good!!’ 

‘You better!’ Valerie blushed and playfully glared at Lucille’s cheeky grin as the woman under her caught her breath, ‘Lucky for you I’m feeling merciful.’ Valerie leaned back and helped Lucille back into a sitting position, her laughing turning to giggles. 

‘I’m sorry,’ Lucille said, wiping a tear from her eye, ‘I couldn’t resist. Your expression was so funny.’ 

Valerie indignantly crossed her arms, ‘You’re certainly having quite the day for playing tricks on people.’ She tried to look stern, but found it rather difficult with that dazzling smile flashing back at her. 

‘Hey,’ Lucille reached over and uncrossed Valerie’s arms, holding her hands in hers, ‘I’m only playing. I didn’t really upset you, did I?’ 

Valerie looked back at Lucille, whose eyes were searching Valerie’s expression. She tried not to show how much Lucille softly making circles over her wrists with her thumbs was affecting her at the moment. 

‘Nah. Besides, I think I got you back quite fair and square.’

Valerie tightened her grip on Lucille’s hands and stood, pulling Lucille along with her. The two shared a shy smile, and Valerie tried so very hard to resist the urge to pull the woman into her arms and kiss her. 

‘The curry tasted heavenly by the way,’ Valerie said, giving Lucille’s hands one last squeeze. 

Lucille smiled as she let go of Valerie’s hands and turned back to their meal, ‘Oh good, I was wondering what you actually thought. Been ages since I’ve made it. I thought for a moment you were playing dead just to get out of actually eating it,’ she said teasingly. 

‘Not at all, I’m looking forward to it,’ Valerie grabbed a bottle opener she spotted on the counter and moved to open the wine as Lucille platted their dinner. 

‘Oh, grab those two glasses there and take them through the door there,’ Lucille nodded to a screen door that led to the back patio.

Valerie pulled the cork out if the bottle with a loud resounding ‘pop’.

‘We’re eating outside tonight?’ Valerie asked, grabbing the glasses and wine and making her way to the door. 

‘Yeah, it’s nice and warm out, I figured that would be alright?’ 

‘Of course’ Valerie said, holding the door open for Lucille. As she walked past with two plates of steaming curry, Valerie had a moment to admire their patio when her eyes adjusted to the light. It was simple; the area was lit softly with a string of outdoor lights. Potted plants with various herbs growing lined one side of the concrete slab, and a modest wicker bench with a table perched in front sat on the other side, various types of second hand outdoor chairs placed around the table. A small grill sat in another corner next to some gardening tools. 

Lucille sat down on the bench and placed their food on the table. She took the lighter from the grill and lit two of the candles at the table. She looked up at Valerie and patted the spot next to her on the bench. 

‘Come sit.’

Valerie did as instructed and poured two glasses of wine. 

‘What kind is that?’ Lucille asked as she passed Valerie a fork. 

Valerie inspected the bottle but it provided no information. She looked back over to Lucille who was smelling her wine, ‘Chardonnay, I think.’ 

‘Smells good. Shall we?’ She asked, holding her glass towards Valerie. Valerie reciprocated and clicked her glass to Lucille’s.

‘Cheers,’ they said together, and took a sip. 

The two ate their meal chatting amongst themselves comfortably. Valerie, having not eaten all day, ate hers with a voracity that she didn’t know she had until that first bite entered her mouth. She finished her serving off more quickly than Lucille and sat back when she was finished, sipping her wine while Lucille shook her head.

‘I take it you didn’t like it then?’ She said eyeing Valerie’s empty plate. 

Valerie swirled her wine and shook her head, ‘Terrible. Wouldn’t feed it to dogs.’

‘I suppose that means you won’t be taking any with you for your lunch tomorrow?’ Lucille quipped, scooping a forkful of food into her mouth. 

‘Whoa whoa whoa,’ Valerie sat up straight, ‘let’s not be hasty. I mean, I wouldn’t feed it to dogs, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t feed it... to myself!’

‘Nice backpedaling there, Val.’

Valerie took a sip of wine and crossed her arms, ‘Well, I’ve said enough stupid things in my life to become an expert at it.’ 

‘Oh? Like what?’ 

Valerie looked up, thinking for a moment, ‘Oh, I don’t know. The one I still feel bad about is saying to a girl I liked that I thought her snaggletooth was cute,’ Valerie shrugged indifferently, ‘Unbeknownst to me she didn’t think she had a snaggletooth, and as a result she never smiled in front of me again.’ 

Valerie looked over to Lucille, who had stopped eating mid chew and was looking at her curiously. 

‘What?’

Lucille swallowed the bite that was in her mouth before responding, ‘A… a girl you liked?’

Valerie blinked, smirking, ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ she looked back at her wine, trying to look nonchalant, though her heart was racing, ‘I’ve never fancied blokes. Only women.’

She took a sip of wine and tentatively looked back at Lucille, gauging her reaction. 

‘Oh,’ Lucille said, smiling slightly. She took a sip of wine before responding, ‘So... what on earth is a snaggletooth?’ 

Valerie chuckled, feeling rather nervous but relieved at the same time, ‘Um, it’s when your canine tooth sticks out a little. I don’t know, I thought it was cute but I guess she felt self conscious about her teeth.’ 

‘You couldn’t have just said she had a beautiful smile?’ Lucille smirked and Valerie sensed she felt more relaxed as she took another bite of her dinner. 

‘Well, in retrospect, yeah. The lesson I learned since then is to never compliment women on things they have no control over. Like their teeth!’ 

‘What does that even mean?’

‘Well, like, you for example,’ Valerie swirled her wine before taking a sip, ‘Your cooking is a skill in which you spent time learning and perfecting, so I can compliment you on that. And maybe your hair. I like our hair.’

‘Thanks, I grew it myself,’ Lucille winked. 

‘You know what I mean!’ Valerie said, exasperated. 

‘And things I have no control over?’ Lucille asked curiously, ‘You would never compliment me on those?’

Valerie gulped down the rest of her wine before responding, ‘I mean, I suppose I could since we know each other a little and I’m not some random trying to pick you up at a pub or something.’ 

Lucille took the last bite of her dinner before pushing her plate away, taking a sip of wine and eyeing Valerie. 

‘Well?’ she asked. 

Valerie poured herself another glass of wine and moved to top off Lucille's glass. 

‘Well what?’ Valerie challenged, leaning back in her seat. 

‘I’m vain. What compliments do you have about me for things that I have no control over?’

Valerie balked slightly as the pleasant memory of two soft breasts pressed against her face during their encounter at the library flashed in her mind. Another image of the hips and thighs she chanced a peek at the other night when Lou slept over came to the forefront of her memory, and the soft brown skin underneath she wished to touch and kiss. 

She shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts, deciding any compliments would be given to attributes above the collarbone. 

She smirked and rolled her eyes, speaking from behind her glass of wine, ‘No way. I’ll sound like such a creep.’ 

‘Oh, now I really want to know.’ 

Valerie sighed, exasperated, ‘You really…?’ she stopped at Lucille's expectant gaze, shaking her head slightly, ‘OK, fine.’ 

She took a sip of wine, ‘You have exactly 13 freckles on your face. I counted them all when you fell asleep at my house the other night. The ones on your left cheek remind me of the the constellation capricorn, which happens to be my astrological sign.’ 

Lucille smiled and rested her chin on her hand, leaning her elbow on the table, ‘Oh yeah? Watching me sleep, eh?’

Valerie bristled, her face feeling quite hot all of a sudden and not because of the wine. She crossed her arms and looked away. 

‘I told you it would make me sound like a creep.’

Lucille reached over and uncrossed Valerie’s arms, taking a hand in hers as she shyly smiled, ‘I don’t think that makes you a creep. I find it quite sweet actually.’

Valerie watched as she took a sip of wine with her other hand and looked back at her teasingly, ‘So. Anything else?’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘Oh, you really are fishing for compliments, aren't you?’ 

‘I literally just said I’m vain,’ Lucille giggled, sipping her wine, ‘Go on.’ 

Valerie stuttered, ‘I… um, you have a pretty smile,’ she was sure her face was completely red by now. 

‘Oh? Just pretty?’ 

Valerie narrowed her eyes at Lucille teasingly, eventually sighing in defeat, ‘Fine. You have the most beautiful smile of any human I have ever come across, alright? It’s like watching the sun rise. Your laugh is infectious, and I love how your smile reaches your eyes whenever you’re really happy. If I’ve ever said or done anything stupid it’s because I want to hear you laugh and see you smile. You’re beautiful, Lucille.’ 

Valerie finished with a ‘humph’ and was thoroughly embarrassed, but Lucille smiled from behind her glass of wine, and Valerie noticed her smile reached her eyes. 

Valerie drank more of her wine so she could point the blame to that for her red face. She looked pointely at Lucille, her wine giving her the courage to broach the topic of conversation that had been on her mind the past few days. 

‘Lou…’ 

‘Yes?’ 

‘Can…’ Valerie eyed the chain around Lucille's neck, ‘Can I ask you about your necklace?’

Lucille instinctively reached for her pendant with her hand, pulling it from her shirt and showing it to Valerie, ‘You mean this?’ 

Valerie's eyes scanned the pink, purple, and blue stripes. The same as what she saw Trixie wearing earlier that day. 

‘Yes, that,’ she said, leaning forward and gently held the pendant in her hand, ‘what does this mean to you?’ Valerie gently prodded, needing Lucille to say what she needed to hear. 

‘Well,’ Lucille said, pausing slightly, ‘I… this pendant was a gift from my brother.’ 

Valerie raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. 

‘He gave it to me after… after we came out to each other.’ 

‘Came out as in… bi?’ Valerie asked. 

Lucille gave a tight smile and nodded, ‘I am bi… he is gay.’ 

Valerie wanted to give a sigh of relief for finally hearing Lucille say those words, but Lucille’s expression was one of sadness, causing Valerie to hold her breath. The mood had changed so quickly that Valerie was starting to regret asking. She wish she could have gone back two minutes and continue on telling Lucille all the wonderful things she thought about her to bring that smile back and make her cheerful again. 

Lucille clutched the pendant in her hand, her eyes glazing over and focusing on the empty plate in front of her, ‘It feels so weird to say that out loud.’ 

Valerie looked at her inquiringly, ‘Why is that? Are you… have you not been able to tell anyone?’ she asked softly. 

Lucile looked at Valerie, ‘No… not at all. In Jamaica, it is a crime to be gay,’ Lucille smiled half heartedly at Valerie, ‘only for men. But, while women do not face time in jail, there is still the social stigma and disownment from their family and community.’ 

‘That’s still awful,’ Valerie said, ‘no matter what.’ 

Lucille looked over to Valerie and shook her head, ‘It is, but... I am a coward.’ 

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘What are you talking about?’ 

‘I... ,’ Lucille looked away and sighed, her hand squeezing Valerie's, ‘The reason I’m even here... It’s because I needed to get away from my family… and my country. I applied to schools in the US and Canada, too. I decided to come to London when they accepted me here. I just needed to get away from them, knowing how they feel,’ Lucille looked back at Valerie with sad eyes, ‘my brother and I would not ever be welcome back if we came out to them, and I… apart from needing to be able to live my life as myself I… I came here because I need to learn to live without them in case I really can never go back…’ 

Lucille brought a hand to her mouth, stifling a sob. She closed her eyes and Valerie watched as tears rolled down her cheeks, ‘I’m sorry,’ she choked out, ‘I shouldn’t be bothering you with this.’ 

Valerie scooted closer to Lucille on the bench, ‘No, no, you absolutely can bother me with this,’ she dipped her head to search for Lucille's eyes, ‘Lou, we’re friends. You can tell me about these things, alright?’ she took Lucille’s hand in hers and and wiped a tear from her cheek with the other, ‘Alright?’ she asked again. 

Lucille looked at her and nodded, wiping away a tear. She sniffed and shook her head, ‘My brother Jacob is a much stronger person than I. He is staying there so he can study law and wants to fight for LGBT rights in Jamaica. He told me that you can’t always change minds, but you can change laws, and that’s what he intends to spend his life doing,’ Lucille sighed and looked over to Valerie, ‘Val, I am so proud of him for what he wants to do, but I am so fearful that he will be arrested and thrown in jail, and he will not have the support of our family if he does…’ 

Valerie didn’t know what to say, so she continued to hold Lucille’s hand and listen as she wiped another tear from her cheek. 

‘Regardless, they’re still my parents. My family. I miss them so much sometimes. I like it here, but I miss my home… but I just… couldn’t stay. Not the way things are now.’

Lucille tucked the pendant back into her shirt and sighed, leaning back on the bench. She looked down at Valerie’s hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. 

‘I hope that someday I will have the courage to go back home and be honest to my parents about who I am. To come out to them. I intend to build a life for myself here on my own, and if I go back and they reject me… then I will be prepared to leave and never come back.’ 

‘What if they don’t reject you?’ 

‘Then I will be convinced that hell has frozen over,’ Lucille said with a small smile. 

Valerie smirked and reached over with her other hand to gently graze the back of her fingers over Lucille’s arm. A comforting touch.

‘Lou, you know there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be somewhere where you feel safe. You’re not a coward for leaving a place that sees you as something less than just because of who you are. And your brother… he does have the support of his family. He’s got you. I’d bet money that he wakes up every day grateful that you came out to him,’ Valerie looked pointedly at Lucille to make sure she met her gaze, ‘which takes an insurmountable amount of courage, by the way, so that he can do his studies and fight for his rights knowing that he’s not alone in this. If your parents reject you, then at least you’ll have each other. So don’t think you are a coward, because you’re not.’

Valerie looked down at their intertwined hands, sighing slightly, ‘I’m proud of you… for telling me. For trusting me. I hope that, um, if you’re feeling sad, or just want to talk about home, or anything really…’ 

Valerie trailed off as she caught Lucille looking back at her with half lidded eyes. It made all the blood in Valerie’s veins rush to her heart. It thumped wonderfully against her rib cage, the pounding in her ears deafening as she watched Lucille slowly smile. She brought the back of Valerie’s hand to her mouth for a sweet kiss. 

‘Telling me I have courage for coming out is probably the best compliment I have ever received. Thank you for listening,’ she said softly against Valerie’s hand. 

‘Of course! Any time! You’re my friend and I care about you and you can absolutely come to me for a chat if you’re ever sad or upset,’ is what Valerie could have said if she were a completely normal function human without pesky hormones clouding her senses. All motor functions within Valerie’s body had seemingly ceased with the exception of blinking rapidly, her eyes not believing what she was seeing. She found it within herself to push some air out of her mouth and vibrate her vocal chords to make some kind of affirmative noise that sounded like, ‘Uh-huh.’ 

Valerie managed to avert her eyes from the incredibly beautiful woman next to her and looked at the very neutral potted herbs across from her. She tried to focus on the basil and how delicious it would taste on a pizza but the small circles Lucille was making on her wrist with her fingers were causing the bumps on her skin to rise all the way up her arm to the back of her ears. Why must her body betray her like this? What had they even been talking about? Family. Right. 

‘Um, you know, family isn’t just blood,’ Valerie managed to eek out after a deep breath, ‘You can have a chosen family, too.’ 

‘That so?’ Lucille asked curiously. 

‘Yeah, I mean,’ Valerie shrugged, not quite knowing how to explain it. She suddenly thought about Captain Mount. The woman opened up to her back in Kandahar. She gave Valerie those books to help her get through the last six months of her deployment. She gave Valerie a job on the spot because she had confidence in her. She also thought of Trixie and how she had been unjustly treated by other members of the gay community, which wasn’t fair, or right. 

‘Queer people are marginalized all over, as you know. If we think if we see each other as family, then we’ll start treating each other as family.’ Valerie looked down at their hands intertwined in Lucille’s lap once more, ‘You and I are family because we’re queer… and we need to stick together and… look out for each other. If you come out to your family and they want nothing to do with you, well then… I’ll be here for you,’ Valerie smiled and gave Lucille’s hand a reassuring squeeze. 

Lucille smiled shyly rested her forehead against Valerie’s shoulder, and Valerie suddenly felt light as a cloud. 

‘I… thank you. That means a lot to me that you would say that…,’ she looked up at Valerie curiously, ‘I do have a question though. I thought that was a bad term to use?’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘What, queer? Oh, nah, it’s been reclaimed. I use it as a general catch all for anyone who isn’t straight.’

‘Really?’ Lucille sighed and leaned back against the bench, ‘I have so much to learn.’ 

‘You sound disappointed? I thought learning new things was your favorite thing to do.’ 

‘It is! Want to help me with my research?’ She smiled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Valerie’s eyebrows shot up and she looked back at her with a lopsided smile. She felt her ears grow hot, not quite believing what she had just heard. 

Lucille looked away, her hand slowly creeping up to cover her face, ‘Wait, that came out weird. I don’t know why I said that. Can we forget I said that?’ 

‘No way!’ Valerie grinned, turning to face Lucille, tugging at her hands to get the woman to face her, ‘Lou are you…’ she dipped her head to try and meet the eyes of the blushing woman next to her, ‘are you hitting on me?’ 

‘I mean, I’m trying?’ Lucille closed her eyes as slumped in her seat, ‘Oh, god this is the worst. I’ve never done this before.’ 

‘You’re doing a cracking job at it,’ Valerie laughed, finding her so terribly endearing. 

‘Oh am I?’ She brought her hand to her face again, covering her eyes and letting out a sigh of relief, ‘Well, good, I honestly had no idea if you liked me like that.’ 

Valerie sputtered, ‘What?! Just five minutes ago I was telling you how beautiful you are!’

‘Yeah, why did you stop?’ Lucille asked with a cheeky grin. 

‘Why’d I… because our conversation took a turn for a moment there, that’s why! Unbelievable.’ Valerie crossed her arms, flustered. 

‘Alright, alright,’ Lucille leaned forward, uncrossing Valerie’s arms and meeting her eyes with a smile, ‘I, um… I like you, and I’ve never dated another woman before, so this is all new to me, and I’m just really terribly awkward and nervous and don’t want to screw anything up…’ she trailed off, looking down. Valerie followed her eyes and noticed Lucille had a hand just above her knee, her thumb gently rubbing her thigh. Lucille quickly moved her hand away when she realized Valerie had noticed, but Valerie grabbed it. 

‘Let’s go on a date,’ Valerie said, Lucille’s confession giving her a newfound confidence. 

‘A date?’

‘Yes, a date.’

Lucille’s eyes darted from side to side, ‘Are we not on a date right now?’ 

‘No… well I mean, a real date. Where we go out for a nice dinner or something.’ 

Lucille looked around, ‘We just had a dinner with wine by candlelight.’

Valerie huffed, ‘I mean a proper date! Where I come and pick you up and treat you to something nice and go out dancing or something.’ Valerie’s eyebrows creased in thought. When was the last time she had been on an actual date? What did people do on dates again? 

Lucille sighed and looked away, ‘Well, that’s unfortunate you don’t consider this evening a date,’ she reached for her wine and sipped the last bit of it from her glass. 

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘Why’s that?’ 

Lucille placed her empty glass back down on the table and slyly smiled at Valerie, ‘All the dates I’ve ever been on have usually ended with a kiss,’ she shrugged, ‘but if this isn’t a date…’ 

Valerie turned and leaned towards Lucille with a look of utmost seriousness on her face, ‘This is absolutely a date.’ 

‘You just said-‘

‘Oh, fuck what I said,’ she said, taking her hand and swatting at the air, ‘this is a date now.’

‘No! No, too late. It’s not a _proper_ date apparently, so I guess you’ll have to wait until we’re on a super duper _proper_ date for a kiss.’ 

Valerie let out a frustrated sigh, leaning back on the bench and looking up at the black sky. She wanted to kick herself for blundering up her chances of getting a kiss from Lucille tonight. Listening to the woman next to her giggle at this predicament didn’t help matters one bit. 

‘You laugh, but you’re missing out,’ Valerie said sitting back up and looking to Lucille, ‘I happen to be a great kisser. Had a lot of compliments from past girlfriends and all that.’

Lucille rose from her seat and straightened out her shirt, smiling down at Valerie, ‘Then I’m sure it’ll very much be worth the wait,’ she extended her hand and helped Valerie rise from her seat, ‘Come on then, we both have early starts in the morning, and I don’t want to make you late for your first official day at your new job.’ 

The two collected their plates and headed towards the kitchen. Valerie stayed a little longer to help clean up, after which Lucille packed up some leftovers for her and walked her to the door. Valerie stopped short at opening the door when she felt a tug on the belt loop of her shorts. 

Valerie turned and saw Lucille looking back at her shyly. 

‘So, when do you want to go on our actual proper date?’

Valerie rolled her eyes, still resenting herself for talking her way out of a kiss this evening. She let out a defeated sigh, ‘How about Friday? That’ll give me some time to think about what we can do.’ 

Lucille smiled happily up at Valerie ‘Splendid, I can’t wait.’ 

Valerie couldn’t help but smile back, her frustration melting away at the sight of Lucille biting her lip shyly. 

Lucille tentatively reached out and held Valerie’s hand between hers, running her thumb slowly over her knuckles. Valerie could see she was searching for words, so she remained silent, and waited. 

‘Thanks for coming over tonight,’ Lucille started, slowly meeting Valerie’s gaze, ‘It was really nice… talking to you about… everything,’ she shrugged, ‘I haven’t really spoken to anyone about my family… about why I came here… since I’ve been here. I hope it wasn’t too much.’

‘No, not at all. Lou, really, you can talk to me anytime you need, I promise.’ This time it was Valerie who brought the back of Lucille’s hand to her mouth and gently pressed her lips against it. 

Lucille smiled slightly, ‘Thank you,’ she said, and wrapped her arms around Valerie’s shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. Instinctively, Valerie pulled Lucille close to her by her waist and rested her head in the crook of her neck, closing her eyes, taking in the feeling of having her pressed so close to her. She pulled away smiling shyly as Lucille’s eyes searched her face. 

Lucille gently ran her fingers through Valerie’s hair, gently tucking a loose strand behind her ear. Her eyes rested on Valerie’s mouth, and Valerie wondered for a moment if she was really going to kiss her. 

Instead, Lucille let out a sigh through her pursed lips and took a step back, her hands moving to Valerie’s arms.

‘No. Go now. I want to kiss you but if I do I know I’m not going to want to stop.’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘Not seeing the problem here,’

Lucille tried to look angry, but couldn’t help the smile that broke out on her face as she opened the door and playfully pushed Valerie out onto her stoop, ‘Oh just go already!’ 

Valerie giggled as she stumbled out, turning just in time to catch a Tupperware box full of leftovers Lucille tossed to her. 

‘Text me when you get home!’ She said, and slammed the green door with such force the brass door knocker clinked several times. 

Valerie felt a little flustered at what just happened, and after a moment composed herself enough to give a reply.

‘Thanks for dinner!’ She shouted to the door. 

‘You’re welcome!’ Came a muffled reply, and Valerie gave a laugh before turning and headed home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness is the tension high between these two. It's just going to get even worst the closer they get to their much anticipated date!  
>    
> Next week- lots more fluff and, oh, alright, a bit of pupcake to look forward to. Our much beloved Welsh brunette finally shows up and tells the tale of her rather interesting backstory with a certain redhead. 
> 
> [Doodle 1](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Patsy-and-Trixie-743341139)   
>  [Doodle 2](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Hand-Kiss-743341280)
> 
> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/samanthais) if you'd like to follow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week working in pediatrics and maternity, Valerie decides to enroll in the local uni for her level 3 access course, where she happily bumps into an old acquaintance and gets a little background info on her old captain and new boss. A lunch with her crush also has her thinking she needs to spruce up her appearance a little bit before their big date.

Valerie stood outside the Uni registration office smoking a cigarette that Friday morning. She wore her usual t-shirt and jean ensemble with a pair of old trainers. She rocked on her heels with a manilla folder tucked under her arm with some paperwork inside. The transcript from her old GCSE’s and A-levels, her military training, her veterans papers, some government forms of identification. She watched other staff and potential students filter past her through the doors of the office as they prepared themselves for the new term in September. 

The week she had spent working in the office with Patsy, Trixie, and Barbara had been frankly, wonderful. Wearing scrubs again, working with patients, being in a medical environment. 

She had to admit, working in the office with the three women had made it all the more fun. She was starting to see a side of Patsy that she had not seen while working alongside her in Kandahar. There still remained a professional demeanor while in front of patients, but behind closed doors, she was light hearted. She smiled, made jokes. She giggled, like, actually giggled at texts she read on her phone. Seeing this side of Patsy left Valerie downright perplexed at first, but it was completely normal to Trixie and Barbara. 

‘Has she always been like this?’ Trixie asked exasperated on Tuesday morning after Valerie had appeared with coffee and danishes as a token of thanks for taking her on. She looked down the hall at the retreating redheaded doctor who poked her finger in the raspberry danish to mark it as her territory so Trixie wouldn’t snatch it. 

‘No, not at all,’ Valerie shrugged with an amused smirk, ‘I suppose it’s being around kids instead of soldiers that has her acting downright silly.’ 

‘Well I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,’ quipped Barbara, happily bringing a chocolate danish to her mouth. Valerie had seen her come in with Trixie that morning, and it was revealed to her that she and Barbara were a couple, which Valerie found terribly endearing that they loved each other enough to not only live together, but work together. 

‘Easy for you to say, you hate raspberry,’ she leaned over and took a bite out of Barbara’s chocolate danish before leaving the break room. 

As she spent more time with the two, Valerie grew to like Trixie and Barbara more and more. The two worked very well together as a team. Barbara was an affectionate midwife and nurse who had a knack for creating on the spot stories in funny voices, and would often help out when she had a free moment to distract the young ones with hand puppets while Trixie gave them their booster vaccinations. Trixie was also very caring, and took a no-nonsense attitude when administering care to her pregnant patients and new mothers. She had a good head on her shoulders and kept her cool in stressful situations, much like Patsy. 

Watching the three women interact with the children and new mothers was really unlike something she had ever seen. In the military, it was all patch up and get out, make room for the next busted up chap. Here, it seemed like the staff genuinely cared for the well being of the patients and building a relationship with them, and it touched Valerie's heart. She spent several lunch breaks discussing with Trixie and Barbara why they had chosen this line of work, and Valerie spent several nights lying awake reflecting on those conversations. By the end of the week, the idea of her becoming a midwife like them was starting to appeal to her more and more. 

The thought that she would need to go when Shelagh came back from maternity leave had her thinking that she wanted to do the work she needed to do to possibly become a permanent fixture in that office. To do that she would need to retrain as a midwife. And for that, she found herself that Friday morning at the Uni prepared to enroll in a level 3 access course for midwifery. 

She stubbed out her cigarette and pulled out her phone. It was nearing 10:00 in the morning. She sent a quick text to Lucille to ask if she wanted to grab a quick bite of lunch on her break as she was close by, and then headed into the building. 

After filling out some paperwork to register herself properly as a student, Valerie was directed to sit in an office down the hall where the director of the access course would speak with her and go over the curriculum and answer any questions. She was led to a door that opened to a small lobby area with a few chairs and a coffee table with neatly stacked magazines. Valerie saw only one other person in there; a brunette. She looked up at Valerie from the magazine she was browsing and politely nodded her head in acknowledgement. Valerie gave a tight lipped smile in return. 

Next to her was a table with bottled water for the taking. She grabbed one and took a seat a few chairs down from the woman. She cracked open the bottle and took a sip, looking up at the clock on the wall. It was now close to 10:30. Valerie pulled her phone from her back pocket and was pleased to see Lucille had responded. 

**Lou**  
_Sure! I would love to_  
_meet up for lunch with you._

**Lou**  
_I can probably get away_  
_around noon? Can you come_  
_to the library, or do_  
_you want to meet somewhere?_

Valerie smiled, growing excited that she would see Lucille today before their date. She hadn’t seen the woman since Monday when they had dinner together and she had missed Lucille like crazy. She quickly texted back, 

**Val**  
_Noon is perfect! I can_  
_come and get you. It’s_  
_a beautiful day out so_  
_we can do something simple_  
_like a food truck and_  
_eat outside - sound good?_  
_My treat._

  


Valerie hit the ‘send’ button on her mobile, blinking a few times as the feeling of eyes on her became overwhelming. She chanced a glance to the woman next to her and saw her staring at her rather intently. 

Valerie blinked, ‘Everything alright?’ 

The woman shook her head, a blush spreading across her cheeks, ‘Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that you look terribly familiar and I can’t quite put my finger on it.’ 

‘Oh,’ Valerie turned in her seat slightly to get a good look at the woman next to her. She noticed she was Welsh by her accent. Did Valerie know any Welsh women? And if so, what the bloody hell was she doing in Poplar of all places? She wore her long hair down around her shoulders. She didn’t seem too tall. Her eyes were a piercing blue though. Valerie had a faint hint of recognition but couldn’t quite place her, either. 

‘I… you look familiar to me, too.’ Valerie said, tilting her head as the woman next to her narrowed her eyes, ‘Do you live around here?’ 

‘Not too far, up in Spitalfields. Are you in that area?’ 

‘No… I live here in Poplar. I did work at my Aunts pub until recently. The Black Sail? Ever been? You might have seen me there.’

The woman shook her head, ‘Sorry, never heard of it,’ she sighed and tapped her forehead, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll come to me. I was in an accident about a year ago so my memory is a little wonky.’ 

‘An accident?’ Valerie asked concerned, ‘I’m sorry to hear. Do you mind if I ask what happened?’ 

The woman rolled her eyes and shrugged, ‘I was hit by a bloody car while out cycling, of all the things. I was on my way to work one morning and then…’ she held her hands up in the air as a sign of defeat, ‘Good thing I was wearing my helmet, though. The doctor said I could have lost my memory like in some bad tv trope,’ Delia shook her head, crossing her arms, ‘The bleedin’ bastard was fatigued, or at least that was his excuse. I was dressed in uniform at the time and always wore my reflective vest on base, so it was impossible he didn’t see me.’

‘On base?’ Valerie asked, sitting up straight in her chair. 

‘Oh, yeah, I was in the army until the accident,’ the woman shrugged, ‘and then it was a medical discharge for me after that,’ she rolled her eyes to the ceiling, ‘had to spend nearly 6 months back home with my Mam while I healed up because my girlfriend at the time had just deployed. It was dreadful.’ 

‘Where were you stationed?’ Valerie asked, not hearing the latter part of the woman's statement. 

‘Oh, in Landstuhl, Germany, doing medical admin,’ the woman tilted her head, peering at Valerie, ‘were… were you in the military?’ 

‘Yeah, I was in the army, but I spent three years in Birmingham learning to be a nurse and then was sent right to Kandahar for a year.’ 

‘When did you go in?’

Valerie blinked, shrugging, ‘I just got out in June after doing my 4 years.’ 

The woman's eyes grew wide, and she snapped her finger, pointing to Valerie. 

‘323 training squad, Sergeant Rydel?’ 

Valerie gasped, clutching her chest, ‘Oh my god, the name of that woman still to this day strikes fear into my heart.’ 

The woman gave a toothy grin, ‘We were in the same basic training! You’re Dyer!’ 

Valerie blinked a few times, her mouth opening and closing again, searching for words. The woman's face suddenly became recognizable but she could not for the life of her remember her name. 

‘I’m Busby! Delia Busby! It’s OK if you don’t remember,’ she gave a dimple inducing smile, ‘I was always marching in the very back of the unit because I’m so short. I remember you were up front with the other tall ones. It was impossible to keep up with your long legs when we ran in formation!’ she laughed heartily. 

Valerie let out a laugh, ‘Wow, this is just… small world!’ she awkwardly reached up and scratched the back of her head, ‘This is so weird, you’re the second person I’ve run into this week that I served with.’ 

‘Oh really? Was it someone else from training?’ 

‘Oh, no, it was a Captain that I served with in Kandahar. She’s actually a doctor working here in Poplar now, which is kind of how I ran into her.’ 

Valerie caught a mischievous glint in Delia’s eye. 

‘A Captain, ey?’ Delia leaned curiously on her elbow, resting her chin in her hand with a somewhat sly smile, ‘And tell me, Dyer, what is this Captain like?’

Valerie leaned back in her chair, shrugging, ‘Oh, I dunno, tall lanky ginger haired doctor with a preference for raspberry danishes and cigarettes. Names Mount,’ Valerie sat up in her chair and looked to Delia, ‘Why, do you know her?’ She took a sip of her water. 

Delia gave a chuckle, her smile reaching her eyes, ‘Do I know her? I ought to. She’s my wife.’ 

Valerie nearly fell out of her chair, choking suddenly on the water in her mouth. Tears formed in her eyes as she coughed, sputtering, ‘Y-your… your wife?!’ 

Delia laughed at Valerie's reaction, ‘Yeah?’

‘You’re married?!’ 

‘Is that really so hard to believe?’ she asked with a grin and raised eyebrow. 

‘No,’ Valerie waived her hands in front of her, _‘I’m so happy for you!’_ she managed to choke out, her voice raspy. 

Still laughing, Delia reached over and patted Valerie on the back, ‘Steady on there, Dyer.’ 

The door clicked open and both Valerie and Delia’s attention turned towards the woman peering through, looking down at some papers. She looked kind, the lines around her eyes showing as she smiled at them. 

‘Good morning,’ she looked up at the two women as she entered fully into the room, ‘I’m Julienne, the director for the midwifery program.’ She reached out and shook the hands of both women, ‘Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Why don’t I take the two of you for a walk through the classrooms and get you all squared away answering any questions you may have?’

‘Sounds good,’ Delia said, standing. She looked to Valerie who, still rather pleasantly shocked with the information she had just received, nodded in agreement and stood to follow. 

The tour didn’t take terribly long, and both Valerie and Delia listened intently as Julienne went through the curriculum and answered their questions about the courses. They were given a list of classes and the associated textbooks books they would need. Afterwards, Julienne parted ways with the two after leaving them with her contact information, saying she was happy to have them join the course. 

‘Do you have any plans for the rest of the morning?’ Delia asked as they exited the building and made their way down the steps to the street, ‘I was wondering if you wanted to grab a quick cup of coffee and catch up properly?’

Valerie quickly checked her phone and saw that it was just past 11. 

‘I’m meeting a friend for lunch in about an hour, but I was just going to hang around until then,’ she turned towards Delia smiling, putting her hands in her pockets, ‘I’d love to. There’s a place just around the corner.’ 

Delia smiled, and Valerie led the way. 

The two bought their coffees and found a table just outside the shop. They settled in and Delia blew on her coffee as Valerie observed her. 

‘So what’s your story Busby? What did you do after basic and how on earth did you end up married to the Captain?’

Delia chuckled, ‘Oh, Dyer, please tell me you still refer to her as ‘The Captain’. I’m sure she hates that.’

Valerie shrugged, ‘Sorry. Yeah, she told me to start calling her Patsy, but it’s a hard habit to break, you know?’ 

‘Yeah, I get it, and it’s Mount now, by the way. But you can call me Delia. Try and get into that habit,’ she winked. 

‘Yeah, you, um, you can call me Valerie. Val. Whatever. I still think that’s wonderful that you two are married. How did you end up together?’ She sipped her coffee and stared intently at Delia, whose gaze turned upwards in thought. 

‘Well, after basic I went right to work as a medical admin. They sent me to Germany, and not long after this incredibly beautiful lieutenant appeared in our unit and I was completely smitten from first sight.’ 

She smiled and sipped her coffee, ‘I’m sure you know she’s a stickler for the rules. We couldn’t actually associate with each other because of the difference in rank, so I started mildly stalking her.’

Valerie smirked, ‘How does one do that?’ 

‘Well, we would have friendly chats at work, about what we got up to on the weekends and such, but otherwise it was all business, of course. When the opportunity would arise to give her a hand at work, I would be the first to jump up. If she volunteered for something on the weekend, I would sign up for it too. Then she joined the running club,’ Delia shrugged, ‘so I joined the running club. She and I would run together and I used it as a way to pace with her and talk to her, you know? Low key ask her about her family and background, why she became a doctor, why she joined the military,’ she waved her hand lazily as if to say etcetera etcetera. 

‘Did you even know she was gay?’ 

‘Oh god, yes. I mean, I didn’t know for sure but I had a hunch. It was finally confirmed when a few mates of mine and I went to Frankfurt for the weekend and found a gay pub that was really a hole in the wall. Anyway, I spotted that bright red hair with a drink at the bar getting hit on by some Deutsch butch and she did not at all look interested. So I sat back and observed for a bit, you know? After awhile I realized that she was there by herself. God knows why, but at the time I assumed she just wasn't out to the other officers and wanted to be around other gays like my mates and I. So like 10 minutes go by and she just couldn’t seem to shake this butch, so I,’ Delia paused, bringing a finger to her face to scratch her cheek while she shyly gave a dimple inducing smile.

‘Did you swoop in there and save the day?’ Valerie asked. 

Delia nodded, laughing slightly, ‘Yeah, I guess I did. You know I think back on it now and I can’t believe how bold I was, but I had a massive crush on her and just couldn’t take seeing her suffer like that,’ she laughed, ‘Anyway, I just walked up there and grabbed her arm and said, ‘Hey! Thanks for waiting for me babe! Let’s go dance!’ Or something like that, and I just dragged her away from the bar. It wasn’t until we were on the dance floor that I got a good look at how absolutely gobsmacked she was that that had actually happened.’

‘So what happened after that? Did she play along?’ 

Delia nodded, ‘We started dancing and I told her she looked like she needed some help, and I just remember her smiling and thanking me and then we just danced for a bit and had fun,’ Delia sipped her coffee, ‘we spent the rest of the night together just drinking and dancing. My mates had fucked off somewhere but I don’t really care since I was on an impromptu date with the woman I’d been holding a torch for as long as I’d known her.’ 

‘So what happened after? Is that when you officially started seeing each other?’ 

‘Not quite. I mean, I certainly wanted to. Like, at the end of the night, I remember her saying, ‘Thanks for pretending to be my girlfriend,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, maybe we should try it for real sometime,’ 

Delia brought her hand to her face as a blush spread across her cheeks, ‘again, I can’t believe how bold I was. I blame the whiskey.’ 

Valerie laughed, ‘I can’t imagine that worked on her though?’ 

‘Well, she didn’t say yes, but surprisingly she didn’t say no, either,’ Delia leaned back in her seat and sipped her coffee, ‘turned out my low key stalking hadn’t gone unnoticed and she caught on to what I had been up to,’ she giggled, ‘guess I hadn’t been as subtle as I thought, but it paid off because she told me that she fancied me back. At the time that was definitely enough for me to live on, just knowing she returned my feelings even though we couldn’t act on them.’ 

‘That must have been tough, wasn’t it? Working side by side every day and not being able to, I don’t know, be affectionate with each other?’ 

‘I mean, yeah of course, but I suppose we just.. carried on.’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘As we do.’ 

Delia smirked, ‘For a few weeks after the pub incident, it was definitely enough to just know our feelings for each other and steal knowing glances from time to time. Actually though, after a few more weeks passed I was beginning to worry that her feelings had changed, like she didn’t fancy me as much anymore, but my feelings only got more intense. Well anyway, soon after I got a really bad cold that kept me laid up for three days and I had to stay home from work. By the end of the second day someone knocked on my door and low and behold it’s Patsy, looking quite worried and wondering where I had been. Turned out she very much noticed that I hadn’t been at work and was quite sad when I didn’t show up. Seemed she had grown quite attached.’ 

Valerie shook her head, ‘Cute. Makes me wonder how she made it through her deployment.’ 

‘Well, that presented its own challenges which is another story, but when she found out I was sick she left and came back with some hot food and medicine and then cleaned my kitchen,’ Delia laughed at the memory, ‘that’s when I found out she was a bit of an obsessive cleaner. I was terribly embarrassed at first but then I grew to learn cleaning is a stress relief for her so I just let her do it,’ Delia sighed nostalgically, a small smile crossing her features, ‘She stayed with me the rest of the evening. She drank tea with me and we stayed up watching old movies wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa. I was too sick and nervous to make a move, but just having her close was enough.’ 

‘So what happened afterwards?’ 

‘Well, I got better later that week, and found out the two of us were invited to a party our coworker was having at her flat. So I went, and not long after she showed up I was able to corner her and sneak off with her somewhere to talk it all out. I told her it was silly to deny ourselves some happiness just because we happen to be different ranks. She wasn’t even my direct supervisor, we just happened to work within the same unit,’ Delia sighed, ‘Anyway I told her that we’re both adults and that I could absolutely separate my personal and professional life and didn’t mind keeping our relationship to ourselves if she didn’t.’ 

‘And then she said yes, right?’ Valerie asked, completely enthralled. 

‘No, she didn’t,’ Delia smirked at Valerie’s disappointed reaction. 

‘Well obviously it worked out! I mean, you’re married now… what happened? 

Delia threw up her hands, ‘Oh you know, she said some bullshit about her being higher in rank and needing to be the more responsible one, as if I didn’t know that already. She was looking out for both of us professionally, but damn it I was falling for her and would have happily taken the fall if we were ever found out. But no. I let it be and left the party alone feeling dejected and miserable.’ 

‘Please tell me she ran after you,’ 

‘Nope. Went back to my flat and had a good cry, but that would have been a much more romantic outcome.’ 

‘So when did she finally get her head out of her arse?’ 

‘Oh, a few weeks later, actually. I moped about work for a little bit and finally decided to just try and move on since she seemed adamant about not wanting to risk it. So I started using the apps, going back out to the pubs, went on a few dates,’ Delia shrugged, ‘Nothing serious, but word eventually came back to Patsy who suddenly became a lot more interested about what I got up to on the weekends when we all came back to work on Monday mornings. Another coworker told me she caught Patsy chain smoking a lot more during breaks and wondered what she was so stressed out about.’ 

Valerie laughed at that. 

‘So Friday that week I’m back in my flat, getting ready for a date, actually, when there’s a knock at the door. And who else is it but Patsy. She asked me if I was going out with someone, and when I told her that I was, she asked if I would cancel and go out with her instead,’ Delia crossed her arms and shook her head, ‘The nerve of her. I would have slammed the door in her face right then for being an arrogant prat, but she quickly explained to me about a few tragedies in her life making it so she pushed the people she loved away, not wanting to get too close. Not wanting it to hurt when they eventually did leave. She said she was ready to work on it. Work on being more open and work on not letting our difference in ranks get in the way of us being together, even if we did need to hide it for the time being. So she asked for me to give her a chance if I still wanted.’ 

‘And I assume you gave her that chance?’ Valerie asked. 

Delia smiled, ‘I told her I didn’t really want to go out with this person. I said, I’m only doing this to get over you, but you’ll be happy to know it’s not working. I’m still hopelessly smitten with you. She told me then that she felt the same way.’ 

‘And then what happened?’ 

Delia shrugged, smiling slightly, ‘And then I shut the door behind her and we didn’t leave my flat for three days.’ 

‘Gosh,’ Valerie blushed as she drank the last bit of her coffee, it long ago had grown cold, ‘that’s quite the story. I imagine you’ve been together ever since?’ 

‘Of course, save for her deployment,’ Delia shook her head, ‘that was so tough in the beginning. As soon as I saw her off for her flight out, I got into my accident and didn’t wake up for three days. She was going mad with worry as soon as she touched down in Kandahar and couldn’t get ahold of me,’ Delia looked to Valerie, ‘did you notice anything? Do you remember what she was like when you worked with her? Can’t imagine she was much fun.’ 

Valerie leaned back in her chair and looked up in thought, ‘Oh, well I can’t remember too much from the beginning. I was busy myself getting briefed from the unit we were replacing and settling in. Didn’t know my head from my ass until about three weeks later, but I imagine by then Patsy would have had a chance to talk to you and calm down a bit. Though, for the whole deployment, she seemed to be all business. Tough shell to crack, but then so was I for my own reasons. I just let her be. She seemed to open up a bit more during the end of the deployment, but then she may have just been happy to finally be going home to you.’ 

Delia smiled at Valerie’s words, her dimples appearing. 

‘Yes well,’ Delia looked down at her coffee and swirled it around in her cup, ‘I was soon discharged after my accident and went back to Wales to live with my parents while I recovered. I was able to keep Patsy from the brink of insanity by Skyping with her very night. Though any longer than six months and I could have gone crazy myself living at home. My parents are loving but my god are they overbearing,’ Delia playfully rolled her eyes. 

‘So when did you get married?’ 

Delia grinned, ‘Patsy basically dropped to her knee as soon as she got off the plane in Lakenheath. Said something about never again wanting to be the last to know if something bad ever happened to me, god forbid, and wanting to be the one to take care of me. After she out processed and was a civilian again, we had a small wedding with my family back in Wales, really just a simple ceremony and then a nice dinner with our family and friends. I was glad it wasn’t anything extravagant that we had to spend months planning, because really, we just wanted to be married. We spent the rest of January backpacking around the Philippines. It was wonderful. Then we came back to London and have been happily working here ever since,’ she shrugged, ‘Well, she’s been working. I’ve been wrapping up my nursing degree.’ 

Valerie leaned on the table, smiling like an idiot, ‘Wow, that’s just… really romantic. I didn’t even know she was… well, back in Kandahar she mentioned having a sweetheart, but she never let on that it was serious.’

‘Yeah, I’m working on her about all that. She still has a terrible habit of keeping things to herself at work. I tell her that opening up isn’t going to kill her and she might actually make some friends!’

‘She didn’t even tell me she was married!’ 

‘Well how could she? We weren't married until after she got back.’ 

‘No, I mean,’ Valerie gave an exasperated sigh, ‘I take it she hasn’t mentioned to you that she’s been working with me all week?’ 

‘What?!’ Delia sat up in her seat, ‘What do you mean?’ 

‘Shelagh went into labor on Monday. I just happened to be there and volunteered to help for the day,’ Valerie shrugged, ‘and then they decided to hire me on as the admin until she’s ready to come back to work.’ 

‘Are you serious?’ Delia let out a frustrated sigh, ‘I’m going to have words with her when I get home. It’s one thing to be private when it comes to your coworkers, but not when it comes to me!’ She gulped down the rest of her coffee and slammed her cup down in the table, the force of the impact causing the cup to fly out of her hand. 

Valerie grinned and leaned back so the cup didn’t hit her. She chuckled, ‘Uh, sorry, didn’t mean to get her in trouble.’ 

‘Don’t worry, she’s pretty good at doing that all by herself.’ 

Valerie chuckled and surreptitiously checked the time.

‘Oh, sorry, do you need to leave?’ Delia asked. 

‘Not quite yet,’ she leaned back in her chair and smiled, ‘You know, when I was deployed with Patsy she was mostly serious and all business. Seems she’s done a 180 in her attitude since then and is a real goofball most of the time. I thought it was because she was working with kids now but now I'm thinking you may be the culprit behind her new attitude.’ 

Delia shrugged, looking out at the people passing by with a knowing smile, ‘Well, that’s good to hear. The woman deserves happiness…’ She trailed off and turned her attention back to Valerie. 

‘So, how about you then?’ 

‘What’s that?’ 

‘What have you been up to since you’ve been out? How did you even start working with Patsy again?’ 

‘Oh, god where do I start,’ Valerie leaned back in her chair and looked towards the sky, thinking back on her whirlwind of a weekend, and told the tale of how she had been working at the pub, how she got her tooth knocked out, how she ended up at the dentist, how Trixie found her, and how she just seemed to be in the right place at the right time. 

‘Wait, so you got into a fight with a man because he said something terrible about your friend?’ 

‘He said something terrible about a lot of people in the pub that night,’ Valerie crossed her arms, scowling at the memory, ‘But I mean, I suppose I would have just chewed him out and kicked him out if the pub if Lou hadn’t of… well, I mean, the day prior I had gotten some bad news about another friend and she was there for me while I dealt with it… so… I don’t know. I was feeling pretty protective of her.’ 

‘Well that was rather chivalrous of you,’ Delia smirked and Valerie smiled shyly. 

‘So, Lou? Like Louise?’ Delia asked. 

‘No, Lucille. She’s the one I’m meeting for lunch actually,’ Valerie felt really shy all of a sudden. She felt her ears grow hot as Delia gazed at her knowingly. 

‘So is she just a friend, or…’ 

Valerie tapped her fingers on the table nervously as she fidgeted I her seat, ‘Uh, well, yes, she’s just a friend.’

‘For now, though, right?’ Delia smirked. 

‘That is… yet to be determined.’ 

Delia batted her eyelashes and rested her elbow on the table, chin in her hand, ‘Oh?’

‘Uh, yes. We actually… I’m… we’re going on a date later tonight. Like a proper one.’ 

‘So you asked her out?’ 

‘Yes.’

‘And how did that happen?’ 

‘Um… she made me dinner and told me she liked me.’ 

Delia laughed, ‘Sounds like you’ve already been on a date with this one, mate.’ 

Valerie rolled her eyes, ‘I didn’t know what it was when I showed up. She just made me dinner when she found out I had no food in my house.’

‘Oh my gosh, that’s so sweet,’ Delia gushed, ‘Well you’re not nervous are you? I mean it sounds as if she’s ready to take this next step with you.’ 

‘I… I know she does, and I do too. I’m mad about her, but all those firsts are nerve wracking no matter how sure you are about something, you know?’ 

Delia shrugged in acknowledgement, ‘Sure, sure.’ 

Valerie scratched the back of her head nervously, ‘and it doesn’t help matters that it’s been awhile since I’ve done… well anything. With anyone. The last relationship I was in…’ Valerie’s memory flashed back to an adorably freckled Irish redhead named Alexis who broke her heart two summers ago, leaving her completely uninterested in dating anyone for nearly a year, and her eyes went wide and she brought her hand to her face in embarrassment, ‘oh god, I’m just now realizing it’s been nearly two years.’

‘Oof, that’s tough. So what, are you worried you’ll be rusty or something?’ 

A blush crawled up Valerie’s face, ‘Sorry, I can't believe I’m talking with you about this. We basically just met.’ 

‘Oh come on now, Val, we’ve known each other for years!’ 

Valerie huffed, ‘Oh, you know what I mean.’

Delia giggled, ‘Plus I love hearing about this stuff! So go on then, what are you worried about? Afraid to make the first move or something?’ 

Valerie rolled her eyes, red faced and arms crossed, ‘Certainly not. I think I’m more worried my hormones may get the better of me and I’ll do something she’s not ready for and scare her off. She told me she’s never dated a woman before and… and my sex drive had been completely dormant while I was deployed, because I was working 18 hours days and just stressed out all the time, but since I’ve met her it’s come roaring back. Doesn’t help that she enjoys getting me riled up,’ Valerie grumped. 

‘Ah I see, that sounds like a terrible situation to be in. Maybe try sticking your hands in your pockets to keep them from wandering?’ 

‘I just might have to,’ Valerie paused as her phone chimed and Lucille’s name appeared on her screen, ‘Speak of the devil. I need to run.’ 

‘Alright, I need to speak to my own devil anyway and give her an earful.’ 

Valerie stood to leave before turning back to Delia, ‘Hey, would it be alright if I got your number? Maybe we can all get together and hang out sometime?’ 

Delia smiled and they exchanged phones, ‘Sounds grand! And I want to hear about this date later so you better text me!’ she said as she typed her number into Valerie’s mobile. 

Valerie smiled and handed Delia back her mobile after she punched her number in. They exchanged goodbyes and Valerie jogged off towards the library. 

As Valerie approached, she saw Lucille casually standing outside of the library, leaning against the railing and scrolling through her phone. She kept jogging. She didn’t slow down, and as she got closer and closer her heart pounded faster and faster, adrenaline pumping through her veins as an idea struck. Her smile grew wide and she couldn’t stop herself from wrapping her arms around Lucille, holding her tight and picking her up off the ground, twirling her around.

Lucille gave a surprised shout and giggled as Valerie twirled her. She stumbled slightly as Valerie put her down, her grip on Valerie’s shoulders tightening as she steadied herself. She looked quite frazzled and it made Valerie laugh. 

‘Hi!’

‘Hi!’ Valerie said breathless. 

‘What was that for?’ Lucille said, a wide smile on her face.

‘Just excited to see you. Was just thinking about you.’ 

Lucille narrowed her eyes and smiled up coyly at Valerie, ‘Yeah? Did you miss me?’ 

Valerie blushed and nodded. Lucille giggled. 

‘I missed you too.’ 

Valerie’s smile grew wide and she felt her cheeks turn pink. If she had a tail right now, it would be wagging. 

Valerie took a step back and got a good look at Lucille, who had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, ‘You changed your hair.’ 

Lucille giggled, ‘Good eye.’ 

‘You got rid of your dreads?’ 

Lucille shrugged, ‘I had them for awhile. Figured it was time for a change. Besides, look, I can do this now,’ Lucille took her hair down and shook it out. It sprang out and rested on her shoulders gently, wild curls playfully springing in several directions. She looked back at Valerie who grabbed onto the railing to steady herself and her knees suddenly felt weak. Valerie swallowed the lump in her throat and willed her heart to get back where it belonged in her chest. She felt her face grow hot, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Lucille. 

‘And that was the reaction I was hoping for,’ Lucille said, a smile spreading across her features. 

Valerie shook her head and blinked a few times, her mouth opening and closing as she stuttered out what she hoped was a compliment, ‘You… you look… so beautiful.’ 

‘Thank you.’ Lucille smiled shyly and ran her fingers through her hair, ‘Well I’m glad you like it. I have to admit I kind of made the change with you in mind.’ 

Butterflies felt like they were swirling around in Valerie's insides. She cleared her throat in a desperate attempt to sound normal, ‘Oh really? Why’s that? 

‘It was the other night, the last time we saw each other, I, um,’ Lucille brought a hand to her face, rather bashful, ‘when we were at my door saying goodnight and I ran my fingers through your hair, and I… I just really liked doing that. So I thought, maybe you would like to be able to do that to mine,’ Lucille twirled a lock of her hair around her finger absentmindedly and Valerie thought it was an appropriate metaphor for how she felt right about now. 

Valerie covered her face with her hands, her heart stubbornly thrusting itself back up onto her throat. She couldn’t stand how cute this woman was. ‘Oh my god, Lou, that’s the most darling thing anyone has ever said to me.’

Lucille grinned, ‘Really?’ 

Valerie shook her head and looked at her shoes with her hands on her hips. She had to get them out of there before she scooped the woman up again and kissed her before she was ready. 

‘Yes really. Now let’s go and get something to eat before my heart explodes.’ 

Lucille happily grabbed her hand and lead her towards the park. 

A little later Valerie found herself sitting under the shade of an oak tree with Lucille by her side, the two of them licking their fingers clean of the last of the bahn mi tacos Valerie bought from the truck parked around the corner. The two had chatted about their week while they ate and now sat quietly watching local children play basketball and some businessmen in suits kick a football around to let off some steam during their lunch break. 

‘I’m proud of you for wanting to go back to school,’ Lucille said, smiling at Valerie. 

Valerie grinned, ‘Yeah?’ 

‘Yes. I can tell that being back at work has made you happier, and I’m glad it’s motivated you to retrain. You’re practically glowing.’

Valerie chuckled and nodded shyly, ‘Yeah, I feel like I’m in my element, that’s for sure. And working with the girls is a lot of fun. For the first time in a long time I actually look forward to going into work every morning.’ 

‘Good. I’m happy for you.’

‘You know, when classes start up I may need help studying for my exams.’

‘Oh really?’ 

‘Yeah,’ Valerie leaned closer, ‘I feel like you’re particularly skilled in that area.’ 

‘Are you asking for help?’ 

‘Yes… well I mean, I’ll take pretty much any excuse to spend as much time with you as possible.’ 

Lucille chuckled, ‘For some reason I have a feeling very little studying would actually get done on your part, if I was to help.’ 

Valerie blinked, ‘Sorry, what did you say? I was so overcome by your beauty that I wasn’t listening.’

Lucille playfully shoved Valerie, giggling. She moved her rubbish out of the way and scooted closer to Valerie, ‘So what plans do you have for us this evening anyway?’ 

Valerie leaned back and shrugged. 

‘What?!’ Exclaimed Lucille, ‘I thought you said you wanted to wait till tonight to go out so you could think about what you wanted to do?’ 

Valerie gave a cheeky grin, ‘Yeah, and I’m still thinking.’ 

Lucille balled up her napkin and tossed it at Valerie’s face, who batted it away with a chuckle, ‘Oh you’re awful.’ 

‘Well why don’t you tell me what you want to do then, hmm?’

‘I want you to take me to Paris,’ Lucille crossed her arms with fake indignance. 

Valerie balked, ‘Paris?! What’s wrong with London?’ 

‘Nothing, but I just got a new hairdo and want to show it off.’

‘So we have to go to Paris for that, huh?’ 

‘Absolutely.’

‘Well we better leave now if we want to be there for supper.’ 

‘Oh, that’s too bad. Evangelina will have my head if I don’t return to work this afternoon.’ 

‘Ooh, yeah, that might really mess up your hair, and you don’t want that.’ 

Lucille sighed dejectedly, ‘Well if Paris is out then I suppose my second choice would be dancing.’ 

‘Dancing?’

Lucille smiled slightly, her eyes lingering on Valerie’s legs, ‘Yeah. Dancing.’ She brought a finger to her lips and narrowed her eyes. 

Valerie leaned towards her, ‘You look as if you have nefarious reasons behind wanting to dance.’ 

‘Oh, is that so?’ Lucille relaxed a little and leaned towards Valerie, her voice lowering, ‘Actually I’d really quite fancy seeing those hips in action again.’

Valerie closed her eyes and bit her lip, stifling a laugh. 

‘Um, I mean,’ Lucille stuttered, suddenly feeling flustered, ‘outside of a kitchen. On a dance floor. And not in an inappropriate way or anything.’ 

Valerie couldn’t help but laugh, ‘Lou, it’s OK, really. You’re actually very good at flirting.’

‘Oh, um, thank you,’ Lucille said shyly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. 

Valerie looked at her inquizitivetly, ‘You seem a little wound up.’ 

Lucille was tearing apart her napkin, ‘Oh, do I?’

‘Come here,’ Valerie couldn’t take it anymore. She scooted over to Lucille, wrapping her arms around the woman, forcing her to lay down with her head in Valerie's lap. She needed to have her close. Hold her tight. 

Valerie reached for Lucille's hand and intertwined their fingers. She looked down at the woman with a reassuring smile, ‘Don’t be so nervous. You’re doing everything absolutely right for me,’ she emphasized her point by taking Lucille's hand and kissing the spot between her thumb and forefinger. 

Lucilles eyes darted around nervously, ‘Val, what if someone…’ 

‘Lou, look at me,’ she said softly, ‘I assure you, no one cares,’ she rested her hand on Lucille’s heart, hoping the contact would calm the woman in her arms. Her heart was beating so fast, ‘No one is going to yell at us. No one is going to make a fuss.’

‘Ok... ,’ she sighed and Valerie could feel her relax a little in her arms, ‘Ok… but, I mean, please, um, let me know if some of the things I say are too much… If they make you feel uncomfortable. I truly don’t ever mean to-’

Valerie cut her off, ‘Lou…’ she smirked and shook her head. There was a myriad of things Valerie would absolutely do to Lucille if she had permission and if they were behind closed doors, but she decided to keep her thoughts to herself and focus on calming her.

Valerie reached out and tucked a lock of curls behind Lucille's ear, and the feeling was soft and wonderful. Her heart wanted to burst with affection, but she smiled down at Lucille in her arms and licked her lips, ‘Lou, I really like you, you know that?’ 

Valerie could see the anxiety melting away behind Lucille's eyes at her words. She decided to keep going, ‘I think you’re beautiful. I love the way you flirt with me. You can absolutely tell me you like certain things about my body. In fact I insist you do it,’ she said with a smile, and Lucille giggled. 

‘I really want to kiss you,’ Valerie said, feeling all the emotion in her heart swell up and feel like it wanted to burst out. She brought Lucille's wrist close to her mouth, but instesad of kissing, she grazed her nose along the soft skin. She looked back up at Lucille with inquiring eyes, the woman looking back at her seemed like she was struggling to breathe. 

‘May I?’ Valerie asked. 

Valerie watched as Lucille licked her lips, her mouth opened to say something when a leaf from the tree above swooped down and landed right in her hair. 

Lucille closed her eyes and giggled as Valerie plucked it out. 

‘Seems the trees have it out for me,’ she said, sitting up but staying close to Valerie. 

‘It’s a nice leaf,’ Valerie said, twirling it with her fingers by the stem, ‘I think I’ll hang onto it.’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘As a keepsake.’

‘No, it’s mine.’

‘Finders keepers.’

‘But it chose me,’ Lucille plucked the leaf from Valerie’s fingers and held it close to her, ‘it's my lucky leaf.’ 

‘Lucky, eh? Not so for me then.’

‘How do you mean?’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘Because it interrupted what I thought was going to be a rather nice kiss with you,’ 

‘No kiss until after our date,’ she said, insistent. 

‘Why?’ Valerie asked, turning her body towards Lucille, ‘That’s so silly. You want to kiss me now don’t you?’ 

Lucille narrowed her eyes, a sly smile playing at her lips as she held the leaf close, gently stroking her chin with it. 

‘I do want to kiss you…’ she trailed off as if in thought. 

Valerie smiled shyly and leaned closer, ‘You know I think our little outing here counts as a date, no?’ 

Lucille leaned towards Valerie and lazily grazed the leaf over her jawbone. 

‘I suppose…’

‘So?’ Valerie breathed, her eyes lingering on Lucille’s perfect lips. 

Lucille smiled coyly, leaning in closer, ‘Close your eyes.’ 

Valerie’s eyes fluttered shut, her heart thumping in her chest with anticipation. She could feel Lucille inch closer to her, her breath tickling over Valerie’s parted lips. 

Valerie felt a pressure against her mouth, it was smooth and not at all like the pair of full soft lips she had been expecting. She opened her eyes and saw that Lucille was indeed kissing her, but the leaf in her hand had been used as a barrier between their mouths. 

Valerie pulled away slightly, blinking, ‘This is an outrage,’ she quipped indignantly as Lucille pulled away giggling, ‘I demand a real kiss.’ 

‘After you take me on our real date,’ Lucille smiled wide at Valerie’s reaction. She continued to idly stroke Valerie’s jawline softly with the leaf, ‘I think it will be worth waiting for.’

Valerie huffed. She needed to take her frustration out on something. She narrowed her eyes at that damn leaf that Lucille was grazing teasingly along her face. That stupid thing got in the way of her kiss twice! Lucky leaf her arse. That thing had to go. 

In one swift motion, Valerie opened her mouth and tore the leaf clear from its stem with her teeth. As she chewed, she narrowed her eyes playfully at Lucille who looked back at her stunned. 

‘My leaf…’ Lucille trailed off looking at the stem in her hand. 

‘Needed to be done,’ Valerie eked out with a cheekful of foliage. 

‘How dare you.’ 

Valerie swallowed, ‘I regret nothing.’

‘I can’t believe you just ate my lucky leaf.’

‘It was delicious.’

Lucille shook her head, smiling slightly, ‘So? How did it taste?’

‘Organic.’ 

Lucille rolled her eyes and flicked the stem away, unable to hide the smile slowly growing in her face. 

‘You have little green bits in your teeth, you know.’

Valerie grinned and leaned forward, ‘Do you want to kiss me now?’ 

‘Ahh!’ Lucille hollered, bringing her hand up against Valerie’s face, and gently pushed her away, laughing, ‘Oh my god, no! Floss first and then we’ll talk.’

Valerie leaned back, giggling as she licked her teeth of the offending green bits. 

‘You’re lucky you’re so cute. Otherwise I’d be really upset,’ Lucille huffed.

‘Oh so maybe it was lucky after all,’ Valerie winked and Lucille playfully shoved her. 

The two rose from where they sat and walked back to the library hand in hand. When they arrived at the entrance, Lucille turned to Valerie and squeezed her hand before letting go. 

‘Thank you for lunch…’ she trailed off biting her lip and Valerie raised an eyebrow, looking back at her inquiringly. To her surprise, Lucille lifted herself up on her toes and gave Valerie a quick peck on the cheek. 

‘That’s all you’re getting for now,’ she said pointedly as Valerie struggled to remain standing. She blinked several times with a goofy lopsided smile in her face as she watched Lucille ascend the steps to the entrance. See turned and looked back at Valerie with a smirk, ‘See you tonight?’ 

Without realizing, Valerie’s hand had come to rest in the spot that Lucille had just kissed. She watched Lucille’s smirk turn into a full on smile that reached her eyes, and the sight left Valerie speechless. She slowly nodded her head, and Lucille turned and skipped through the doors. 

Turning on her heel, Valerie made a mental note to possibly try to be sitting down on near something soft and fluffy if Lucille did indeed kiss her later that evening. If a peck on the cheek left her feeling how she did now, god knows a full on kiss would leave her downright paralyzed. 

Valerie began walking back towards her house, thoughts of the last hour replaying over and over again in her head. She was looking forward already to seeing Lucille again. The way Lucille looked when she was holding her, when she asked for a kiss before that damn leaf showed up. She wanted to kiss her so badly, her eyes closed just thinking about how wonderful it would have been. Valerie brought her fingers to her lips. They still craved for Lucille to press against them with her own, but she would have to wait. It was a delicious torture. Valerie thought back on Lucille’s new hair and couldn’t believe she could have gotten even cuter with a fresh look. She seemed really happy with it and it made Valerie’s heart flutter pleasantly in her chest recalling that she had it changed with her in mind, so she could run her fingers through it. 

Valerie passed a shop, catching her reflection in the window. She blinked a few times, running her fingers through her own hair, tugging at the strands. When had it gotten so long? When was the last time she got a haircut herself? In fact, when was the last time she even wore makeup? Did she even have any at home? She glanced down at her nails and her eyes widened. Goodness, those needed to be cut now. She tugged at her old t-shirt, and glanced down at her trousers. Did she own any that didn’t have a hole in the knee? And her trainers were basically falling apart. She thought hard to think if she owned any that weren’t a ratty old pair of adidas shoved to the back of her closet somewhere and she couldn’t think of any. 

Fuck, she was a mess! She shook her head and decided then and there she needed to do a bit of shopping before she headed home. But first, a haircut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know I promised a date, but the chapter was turning into a 20K word behemoth so I decided I would split it up. I figured half this chapter being pupcake would make up for it. 
> 
> Looking forward to the date next week! Lots of flirting. Lots of touching. Maybe some kissing? Gah, I don't know, I suppose you'll have to tune in and see! 
> 
>  
> 
> [Doodle 1](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-9-1-744234220)  
> [Doodle 2](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-9-2-744234617)  
> [Doodle 3](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-9-3-744234827)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tha. Mutha. Fuckin. Date.

Later that evening, Valerie found herself chewing a stick of gum to keep herself from smoking. She was walking casually towards Lucille’s house, anxious but not in a hurry to show up earlier than she needed. To calm herself she balled one hand in her pocket and carried a stick she found in the other, gently tapping the iron railings of gates she passed, listening to them click and clack against the stick. The rucksack she was carrying full of goodies for their date weighed heavily, and she shifted the straps to settle the load. She counted the cracks in the sidewalk, paying close attention to where tree roots raised the cement, careful not to scuff her new black boots. 

Her black trousers were new, too, along with her blue shirt that she had buttoned all the way to the top. She thought it would make her feel uncomfortable, but having worn uniforms nearly all her life she found she had grown quite accustomed to being buttoned up. She felt quite refreshed, and with her trimmed hair and a dash of makeup, she hoped Lucille would think she looked so, too. 

The sound of a door opening made Valerie look up. She was here at Lucille’s home, and her date appeared in the doorway. Valerie stopped in her tracks. 

‘Hey,’ Lucille said as she closed the door behind her, ‘Sorry, I’d invite you in but Jenny saw me kiss your cheek at the library earlier and has been giving me the third degree all afternoon. Thought it best to sneak out,’ she stopped, blinking as she slowly descended the steps of her stoop, a small smile appearing on her features as she got a good look at Valerie. 

‘Wow,’ she said rather breathless, tightening her grip on her purse, ‘You look good.’ 

Valerie bit her lip and looked at Lucille’s outfit. She wore her hair down and it rested softly around her shoulders. Her blouse was a summery sleeveless thing with a Peter Pan collar, white, dusted faintly with printed yellow and red flowers. She wore a pink skirt that fell loosely around her knees with ballet flats to match. She looked positively adorable. 

‘You look really cute,’ Valerie found herself saying, tilting her head and smiling at Lucille’s bashful reaction. 

Valerie tossed her stick aside and she looked back at Lucille, her eyes wandering over the length of her naked arms and resting on her pretty face. Her beauty was only amplified by the light of the day fading softly behind her, and Valerie’s heart thumped madly in her chest. She sighed slightly, hoping to free some of the butterflies that were fluttering around fervently in her stomach as her hand came to tug at the hem of Lucille’s blouse.

‘I like your blouse,’ she said, eyeing the faded flowers. The material was soft between her fingers. 

Lucille looked down and plucked at a spot on her blouse with her forefinger and thumb, ‘Oh thanks. You know when I bought this, I thought these yellow and red splotches were rubber duckies. It wasn’t until I had gotten home did I realize they were flowers,’ she looked back up at Valerie, ‘I would have preferred duckies.’

‘You would have…,’ Valerie repeated, and she bit her lip and looked away. This woman was astoundingly adorable and she wondered if she would even last until the end of their evening to scoop this woman up on her arms and kiss her. 

‘Ok, well I think where we’re going there may be some duckies, so…’

She looked back up to Lucille and caught the woman glancing back over her appearance with half lidded eyes. She perked up when she realized Valerie was looking at her. 

‘Hmm? Sorry…’ she shook her head slightly, smiling shyly, ‘it's just you look really good,’ she reached over and took Valerie’s hand in hers, moving to stand beside her, ‘I’m just happy to be on the arm of such a pretty woman all night.’ 

Oh, my heart, thought Valerie. 

Lucille reached up with her other hand and gently ran her fingers through Valerie’s freshly cropped hair, tucking the strands behind her ear. Her fingers feathered delicately over her the shell of her ear and Valerie let out a shaky breath. 

‘Ok, we need to go before I do something stupid.’ Valerie started walking to the nearest underground and pulled Lucille along. 

Lucille giggled and trotted to catch up, eventually settling in pace with Valerie’s steps, ‘Where are we going?’ 

‘You’ll see. You’ll like it.’ 

‘What’s the rucksack for?’ 

‘You’ll see.’ 

‘We’re going on a date, right?’ 

‘Yes, I promise you, you’ll like it.’ 

‘Val-er-ie!’ Lucille whined as they descended the steps into the underground and Valerie ignored her, smiling teasingly at her frustration. They tapped their oysters and filed into the tube with the other commuters. The carriage filled up with others like them heading for an evening out, business professionals anxious to get home after a long week, tourists and students and the like. Valerie kept her hands on Lucille’s shoulders as they settled in, finding only standing room. The two women grabbed onto the railing, Lucille’s back pressed against Valerie’s front, and they held on as the tube took off. 

The crowd and the rocking motion of the carriage kept Lucille pressed against Valerie, who didn’t mind at all. She enjoyed having Lucille close to her, and her body hummed affectionately, excited to have Lucille the whole evening to herself. 

The scent of something fresh and sweet caught her nose, and Valerie leaned down in Lucille’s ear, whispering, ‘Your hair smells like cucumbers.’ 

Lucille smiled knowingly, ‘I was wondering if you would notice.’

‘Why’s that?’ 

‘Figured you’d like the fragrance of green things seeing as how voraciously you devoured that leaf earlier.’ 

Valerie chuckled, ‘Oh is that so?’ 

‘Yes.’ 

Valerie slightly pressed her mouth against Lucille's ear, ‘Do you want me to devour you, too?’ 

Lucille looked back at her, smiling slightly with an eyebrow raised. 

Valerie looked up to see everyone around them pleasantly distracted by their phones or books while the carriage swayed along. Deeming it safe to flirt a little, her fingers slowly grazed up the length of Lucille’s arm and rested on her shoulder. She could feel her skin rise under her fingertips. 

‘You know, these shoulders look rather inviting,’ her fingers grazed back down Lucille's arm lazily, ‘I wonder how they taste,’ she said softly, pressing her lips gently against Lucille's right shoulder.

Valerie could hear Lucille take a shaky breath before she turned around, looking pointedly at her. She tried to look stern, but a smile played on her features as she brought a finger to Valerie's lips. 

‘Shh,’ she whispered slow, smiling slightly, ‘be good...’

Valerie's eyes narrowed and she playfully bit down on the tip of Lucille's finger, wrapping her lips around the digit before pulling way. She gazed back at Lucille who looked stunned. 

‘You make it pretty hard to resist you, you know that?’ Valerie whispered as Lucille bit her lip. Her hands reached up and grabbed a fistful of Valerie’s shirt, and she shyly buried her face in the crook of Valerie's neck. Valerie could feel her smiling against her. 

Valerie instinctively wrapped her arm around Lucille's waist, holding her close as their bodies swayed and pressed against one another with the movements of the carriage. Her heart fluttered pleasantly as she could feel Lucille nuzzle against her. Valerie gently pressed her her cheek against Lucille's hair, taking in her scent, her lips ever so slightly grazing along the sensitive skin of her ear as they waited to arrive at their stop. 

The two appeared back above ground soon, and Valerie led them hand in hand to Victoria Park. The sun was setting and the evening brought out other families and couples out for a nice walk or run. 

‘You still haven’t told me what we’re doing for our date,’ Lucille said as Valerie had them stop near a grassy hill. 

‘What, you expected more than just a stroll through the park?’ 

‘Cheeky.’ 

Valerie placed her bag on the ground and took out a rolled up blanket, giving Lucille time to look around and see others had camped out on the hill with blankets and snacks. There was a stage that was lit and a sign propped up proclaiming the evenings play to be ‘As You Like It’. 

‘It’s Shakespeare In The Park tonight. I take it you’re a fan of his work, Miss Librarian?’ Valerie quipped as she unfurled the blanket. 

‘I very much am,’ Lucille looked back at her smiling, ‘So this was your plan, hmm?’ she took the other end of the blanket and helped Valerie lay it down flat on the ground. 

‘Yes, and don’t worry, I’ve brought dinner.’ 

The two settled in on the blanket side by side and Valerie shuffled through her bag. 

‘Oh, is it something from the pub?’ Lucille asked, kneeling over to peer into the bag curiously. 

Valerie rolled her eyes, ‘Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve made this myself. Here.’ Valerie pulled out various bins and laid them out along the blanket. There was an assortment of cheese and olives, taziki dip with fresh vegetables for dipping, and farmers lunch sandwiches on crispy ciabatta bread. 

‘I see no actual cooking was involved,’ Lucille quipped. 

‘Quiet, you. I slaved away in the kitchen for _at least_ 20 minutes putting this all together. I can’t look this pretty and cook a full course meal.’ 

Lucille popped an olive into her mouth, ‘Oh, well in that case.’

Valerie took out a thermos and two plastic cups, ‘I’ve premade some moscow mule, would you like some?’ Lucille smiled, and nodded. 

When the two had their drinks in hand, they clinked their plastic cups together and sipped, and Valerie found it refreshingly cool and bubbly on her nose. They nibbled on their dinner and chatted playfully as the crowd around them grew with more couples and families excited to see the show. The play soon started, and the two silently ate and fed each other little bits of cheese and olives from time to time as they watched the performers on stage. 

Halfway through the play and contently full of food and booze, Valerie leaned back and watched Lucille out of the corner of her eye. She looked on as Lucille sipped her drink, laughing at the antics of Rosalind and Orlando, and thinking that, quite frankly, Lucille was the most gorgeous woman she had ever laid eyes on. The sounds of the performers on stage, the laughing and applause from the audience; it all seemed to drown out around Valerie as she focused on Lucille. The way her smile reached her eyes when she laughed and was truly happy, how her hair looked right now, how cute she looked in that outfit. 

Her heart swelled with a loving affection. Her body moved before her brain could tell her to stop, and she leaned over, placing a light kiss on Lucille's shoulder. 

Lucille turned to her with an eyebrow raised. 

‘Sorry,’ Valerie scooted closer so she could whisper in Lucille's ear, ‘I was just thinking how beautiful you looked and couldn’t stop myself.’

Lucille smiled shyly and looked at Valerie for a moment. 

‘Yeah?’ she asked. Her eyes narrowed and she licked her lips, seemingly having decided on something. She placed her drink down and turned back to Valerie, shifting slightly to face her. 

‘You don’t have to apologize,’ her gaze was on Valerie's mouth. 

‘No?’ 

‘No,’ she breathed, her fingers reaching up to run through Valerie's soft hair. She tucked the strands behind her ear and lazily grazed her fingertips along her jawline, brushing against her parted lips before grazing down the buttons on her shirt. 

Valerie smirked, watching as Lucille licked her lips. She leaned forward slightly and whispered softly against Lucille's ear. 

‘You’ll tell me if I’ve crossed a line?’ she asked, her teeth nibbling on a soft earlobe and pulling gently. 

‘You won’t.’ Lucille breathed out as her eyes fluttered shut. Valerie brought her hand up to cradle Lucille's neck. She gently tilted Lucille's head back with her hand as her tongue found a pulsepoint and gently licked. She grazed her lips along the sensitive skin, licking her, kissing her. She wanted to tease her, to make her keep making those long aching breaths in her ear that was turning her on so much. 

‘Eww! They’re kissing!’ 

Both Valerie and Lucille's eyes snapped open, Lucille tensing and shoving Valerie away reflexively. They both looked in front of them towards the direction of the onlooker and saw a young girl of about six looking back at the ith the utmost horror and disgust. 

‘Rose! Mind your own business and watch the play!’ The girls father said, scooping her into his lap and forcing her to look forward.

Both red faced, Lucille ever so slightly scooted away and fidgeted with her skirt, fluffing and straightening it out across her legs. Valerie glared daggers in the direction of the kid who had interrupted their moment. She huffed and sat cross legged with her chin in her hand, tapping her fingers anxiously against her face. The only thing that kept Valerie from watching the rest of the play seething where she sat was Lucille's hold on her other hand. She brought the back of it to her lips for a soft kiss every now and then and held onto it reassuringly in her lap. Valerie's annoyance eventually melted away, her breathing returned to normal, and she reciprocated by placing gentle kisses on Lucille's shoulder. 

The play soon ended, and the two packed up their spot and stood to leave. Lucille brushed off her skirt before she helped Valerie fold up the blanket. 

‘So what’s next on the agenda?’ she asked, bringing her corners to meet Valeries. 

Valerie tilted her head, raising an eyebrow, ‘Still up for dancing? Figured we could head to Soho and walk around. Pick a club that strikes our fancy.’ Where no one will interrupt us from kissing, that’s for sure, Valerie thought. 

‘That sounds like fun,’ Lucille smiled, and Valerie made quick work of packing the rest of their things in her bag and hefting it over her shoulder. The two walked hand in hand back towards the underground and caught the tube to their desired destination. The carriage was crowded again with people heading out for a night of dancing like themselves, and Valerie found herself holding onto the railing with one hand and Lucille with the other. Lucille was facing Valerie, her arms wrapped around the Valerie’s waist and her head resting on her shoulder. Valerie could feel the sensation of tingles go down her back as Lucille's breath tickled her neck. About halfway through their journey Valerie caught Lucille letting out a big yawn. 

‘None of that now,’ Valerie said, bringing her finger to Lucille's chin and tilting it upwards slightly. 

‘Sorry,’ Lucille said, tightening her grip around Valerie's waist and nuzzling her head against her neck and shoulder, ‘you’re just so cozy.’ 

Valerie smiled slightly, her lips slowly grazing along Lucille's eyebrow as she gently stroked her hair. Lucille hummed against her delightfully and the feeling reverberated within Valerie, her heart fluttering in her chest. 

They arrived at their destination, and Valerie led Lucille out of the tube and up the escalator. The woman was sleepy, but suddenly seemed to perk up as she stepped back onto the street, the surrounding pubs and buildings dawning rainbow flags. The pubs were buzzing with life and the rhythmic thumping of a bass could be heard from several clubs. 

Lucille blinked, her eyes growing wide, ‘Valerie, where are we?’ 

Valerie shrugged, holding her hands out, ‘Welcome to the gaybourhood’ 

‘I thought you said we were going to Soho?’

Valerie brought her hand to her face to suppress her laugh, ‘Ah, no, we are in Soho, we just call it the gaybourhood because this is where we all come to hang out.’

Lucille looked around, ‘We? Like… um, queer people?’ 

‘Yeah, well I mean,’ Valerie stuck her hands in her pockets and shrugged, ‘everyone is welcome here, but this is where all the gay bars are. This is where we congregate. The annual pride parade comes barreling through here every June and then there’s a huge big gay after party. It’s quite fun, sorry to say I didn’t get back here in time to make it though for this year.’ 

Lucille huffed, ‘Why am I just finding out about this?’ 

Valerie smiled, ‘Because you didn’t have me around to show you. But I’m here now. We’re here now,’ she looked over at Lucille who was still marveling at the scene. 

Valerie bit her lip, leaning over to nudge Lucille with her shoulder, ‘What’s on your mind?’

Lucille gave a big smile, ‘Nothing, I just… this is wonderful. This is great! I can’t believe a place like this exists.’ 

Valerie gave a goofy lopsided smile, asking, ‘Are you happy?’ 

Lucille nodded, looking almost relieved, ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m happy.’ 

She reached out and grabbed Lucille's hands, bringing them to rest around her shoulders while her own hands found Lucille's hips. 

She walked Lucille backwards until she rested against the brick wall of some pub or another, Valerie didn’t care. Lucille smiled up at her intrigued, and Valerie felt Lucille’s fingers entwining themselves in her hair. 

‘This is a safe place,’ she said, ‘you know, where we can hold each other like this do a little touching… maybe a little kissing...’ Valerie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Lucille giggled. 

‘Oh? Is that so?’ Lucille smiled coyly. She eyed Valerie's mouth hungrily and Valerie licked her lips. 

‘That’s right. No one cares…,’ Valerie drifted off, leaning in and licking her lips as she was finally going to - 

‘Dyer, you saucy bitch.’

Valerie stopped short from punching the brick wall Lucille was leaned up against as their moment had been interrupted once again. She looked up, the voice seemingly coming from the sky. Through the lights of pub signs and shops illuminating the streets, Valerie could make out the frame of a certain redhead looking down at her from the rooftop balcony of the pub they were leaned against. 

‘God? Is that you?’ Valerie asked jokingly. 

‘I may as well be because I’m going to damn you for all eternity,’ Valerie could see Patsy smirk down at her as she brought a cigarette to her lips. 

‘What did I do?’ Valerie shouted up at her indignantly, hands on her hips. 

‘My wife has _one_ conversation with you and I get an earful from her about my poor behaviour.’

‘Oh well that’s your own damn fault then, isn’t it?’

A bob of blonde hair popped over the balcony and shouted down at her, ‘Valerie, is that you?’ 

Valerie rolled her eyes, ‘Hi Trixie.’ 

Another bob of brunette hair appeared over the balcony edge, ‘Hi Val! Come up here and hang with us!’ shouted Barbara. 

‘Yes, come up here so I can yell at you some more!’ Patsy quipped, taking a drag of her cigarette. 

‘Friends of yours?’ Lucille asked, amused. 

‘In this moment, unfortunately,’ Valerie said through gritted teeth, ‘they’re the women I work with at the clinic.’ 

Lucille giggled, ‘Do you want to go in and say hi?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘You wouldn’t mind?’ 

‘I don’t mind at all. I want to meet them. They seem like fun,’ she smiled and took Valerie by the hand, leading her into the club. The two checked Valerie's rucksack and Lucille’s purse at the door and paid the entry . The club had a dance floor and a DJ on the ground level that was occupied predominantly by gay men. Upstairs was where they were headed, which was a bit more of a relaxed space. There was a bar and a dance floor, and pool tables. Lots of women were milling about, dancing and drinking, flirting, and playing pool. 

‘The balcony is just through here,’ Valerie leaned in to say in Lucille’s ear over the music. She nodded towards a pair of open glass doors past the pool tables that led out into the night. More women were hanging around the doors, filtering in and out. It was a quieter place where you could actually have a conversation with someone without screaming over the music. 

Lucille grabbed Valerie’s arm and leaned into her ear, ‘How about I grab us a drink and I’ll meet you out there?’

Valerie made a face as if she was about to protest, and Lucille cut her off, ‘You can get the next round! What would you like?’

Valerie shrugged, ‘Whatever you’re having.’

Lucille squeezed her hand and headed for the bar. 

Valerie worked her way through a group of women by the doors who couldn’t decide if they wanted to be outside or in, and looked for the familiar redhead through the crowd. She patted her pockets at the same time, pulling out a pack of cigarettes that were smooshed from sitting on them all evening. She pulled out a crooked cigarette and held it between her lips while she unsuccessfully searched for a lighter, patting her pockets and hoping she didn’t leave it in her rucksack. 

A spark and a flame appeared in front of her eyes with an aggravated sigh coming from her left. 

‘Jesus, Dyer, every time.’ 

Valerie looked up to find Patsy holding the lighter. She was rather surprised to see the redhead dressed in jeans and a red plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled to her elbows. 

‘Mount, I didn’t take you for the lumberjack type.’

‘Yeah well I wouldn’t take you to be the femmy make up type, yet here we are.’

‘Hey, fuck you, I’m pretty,’ Valerie puffed her cigarette and grinned when Patsy reciprocated by giving her the finger. 

Valerie rocked on her heels with her shoulders back, ‘I happen to be on an official date, thank you very much,’ she said proudly. 

‘Oh, is that who you were snogging down there?’ 

‘Just about to, until you interrupted.’

‘Good!’ Patsy took a drag of her own cigarette, ‘Your little chat with Delia earlier interrupted my afternoon of what I thought was going to be marital bliss but instead I got an earful about being out with people I work with and such.’

‘Did you tell her I already knew you were gay?’ 

‘Yes, well, she’s more upset that I never mentioned I was married. I tried explaining how understaffed and busy we were this week, but you know,’ Patsy shrugged, ‘We haven’t had a chance to properly catch up! The topic would have come around eventually!’ 

Valerie grabbed Patsy's left hand and held it up to her face, barely making out the modest rose gold band around her ring finger. 

‘It doesn’t help you picked the smallest band that's the same color as the rest of your hand! No wonder I didn’t notice it.’ 

Patsy rolled her eyes and shrugged, ‘I wash my hands a lot and didn’t want some huge gaudy diamond.’ 

‘Where is Delia anyway? Is she here?’ Valerie asked, looking around. 

‘Oh, she’s around. Popped in to use the loo, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she bumped into a friend or two in there.’ 

‘Quick,’ Valerie lightly nudged Patsy with her elbow, ‘tell me your favorite part about the wedding, before she comes back.’

Patsy looked up, her brows furrowing in concentration as she puffed her cigarette, ‘Hmm. Probably when we were standing at the altar and the officiant called me by the wrong name!’ 

‘They didn’t!’ 

‘Yes! Whomever wrote their notes made a typo so Mount turned to Montague! We were standing up at the altar, too, and she said ‘Do you Patience Montague’ and I remember looking at Delia and then back at her family, and everyone looked as confused as I. Honestly, until then I thought I was going to be a blubbery mess, but when she called me by the wrong name it was just so… odd! The moment really pulled me back to Earth. And then she said it again when she was addressing Delia! I had to halt the ceremony to correct her!’

‘Oh god, that’s so awkward!’ 

‘It was awkward in the moment, but we were all able to laugh it off. Afterwards everyone wanted to know what happened. People thought it was my middle name or something, can you imagine?’ 

‘Patience Montague Mount? I don’t know, it sounds very regal.’ 

‘Oh, quiet.’ 

‘So that was your favorite part? About the wedding?’

‘Well I mean, it was certainly the most memorable.’ 

‘Sweeties! There you are!’ Trixie exclaimed approaching them with Barbara in tow. The two were dressed similarly in white shirts and dark trousers. Valerie wondered for a moment if this is what happened to queer women with a similar body type who were in long term relationships.

‘You’re over here smoking without me? How rude,’ Trixie said, hands on her hips.

‘Forgive me, where are my manners?’ Patsy rolled her eyes as she handed Trixie a cigarette and lit it for her. 

‘You look nice, Val,’ said Barbara with a kind smile, and Trixie gave her an enthusiastic look up and down while she puffed her cigarette. 

Before she could get a word out, Patsy interjected, ‘She’s on an official bonafide date!’

Valerie watched as Trixie’s eyes widened, ‘You are? How is it going? Where is she?’ 

Valerie felt shy all of a sudden, turning a shade of pink she hoped wouldn’t be noticeable in the low lighting. 

‘I’m right here.’

All eyes turned to Lucile who was smiling, looking to Valerie through half lidded eyes with two drinks garnished with a lime in her hand. 

‘Rum and coke for you, darling,’ Lucille said, turning to Valerie and handing her one of the drinks. 

Valerie smiled, and took her drink. She was feeling rather enamoured with the woman standing next to her that caused the other three women around her to take pause. 

After a moment, Valerie composed herself, clearing her throat and looking back towards her coworkers, ‘Um, so this is Lucille. Lucille, this is Barbara, Trixie, and Patsy.’

‘And Delia!’ 

‘Ahh!’ Valerie jumped almost dropping her drink as the short brunette appeared suddenly between her and Patsy, ‘Blimey, where did you just come from?’

‘No need to worry about that,’ she sipped her drink and looked to Lucille, extending her hand, ‘Pleasure to meet you!’ 

Lucille smiled, ‘Likewise! Do you work in the office with Valerie as well?’

‘Ah, no. But she and I were in basic training together in the army. We bumped into each other earlier today, didn’t she mention?’ 

‘Erm, sorry, no.’

Delia huffed, ‘Why doesn’t anyone want to talk about me?’

Valerie and Patsy shared a panicked look and Valerie cleared her throat, ‘Well I was just about to say something, Mrs. Mount, or should I say… Montague! I hear that might actually now be your real name, seeing as it’s in your wedding vows and all. That’s how that all works, doesn’t it?’ Valerie wiggled her eyebrows playfully as she brought her cigarette to her mouth. 

Delia laughed and grinned up at Patsy, ‘Did you tell her about that?’ 

Patsy smiled and nodded. Delia shyly rested her forehead against Patsy’s shoulder and grabbed her hand, ‘That was too funny,’ she looked back at Valerie and Lucille, ‘You know, we hired a photographer who ended up taking really nice photos of the officiants script, surrounded by flowers and with our wedding rings on top to weigh it down, so now the name ‘Montague’ is photographed forever in fancy print and hanging up on our wall at home. I love it. I can’t wait to tell our kids someday.’

She sipped her drink, still smiling, and Valerie winked at Patsy, who returned a grateful smile. 

Valerie was about to put her cigarette to her mouth again before it was intercepted by Lucille. She looked over as her date took her cigarette from between her fingers and brought it to her own lips for a puff. 

Valerie looked stunned, ‘You smoke?’ 

Lucille took a long drag, winking, ‘I feel like it sometimes when I drink,’ she pursed her lips into an ‘o’ and exhaled a smooth line of smoke, ‘Do you mind if I finish this one?’ 

Valerie blinked, rather surprised and oddly turned on by the sight, ‘Um…nope. You go ahead.’ 

Lucille smiled, quickly bringing her hand to lovingly tuck Valerie’s hair behind her ear before softly pressing her lips against her neck in a soft kiss. Valerie was glad she was not required to speak in that moment, as the feeling of Lucille's lips pressed against her had left her completely tongue tied.

‘Lucille, your blouse is absolutely darling, where did you get it?’ Barbara asked, turning Lucille's attention towards her. 

‘Oh, yes! I was just about to ask you the same thing!’ Delia exclaimed clasping her hands together. The two women crowded around Lucille while they talked about her outfit, and Trixie wandered over to where Patsy and Valerie were standing. 

‘So?’ Trixie asked expectantly towards Valerie. 

‘So what?’

‘So what’s going on with Lucille?’ Patsy asked, a hint of intrigue in her voice. 

‘Yeah, you’re on a date, you said?’ Trixie asked, taking a puff of her cigarette, ‘How is it going?’ 

Valerie pulled a new cigarette out of her pack, ‘Yes, and it’s going well, thanks, so long as the lot of you don’t make a fool out of me,’ she turned to look at Patsy, holding up her cigarette, ‘Do you mind…?’ she asked, and Patsy held out her lighter. 

‘Oh don’t worry,’ Trixie said, swatting her hand, ‘I don’t know enough about you yet to embarrass you, but I don’t know about Patsy.’ 

The woman in question shrugged, ‘Yeah, sorry, I don’t know what I could say to embarrass Dyer.’

‘OK so let’s keep it that way, hmm?’ Valerie said, thankful that Trixie seemed to have forgotten Monica Joan’s comments about her and the cat from their first encounter on Monday. She took a drag of her cigarette and looked over to Lucille, who seemed to be getting the same amount of grilling from Barbara and Delia about her outfit and their date. 

‘So how did you two meet? Where is she from? What does she do? Why haven’t you mentioned her at work?’ Trixie inquired, her smile growing wider with each question. 

‘Yeah, How come we’re just finding out about her now?’ 

‘Seems you’re not the only one who can’t open up about their personal life, eh Pats?’ Trixie nudged her playfully with her elbow. 

‘Damn it we were all busy this week! It’s easy for you to say, you work with your partner. Not like you can’t talk about it then, can you?’ 

Valerie blinked, her head bouncing back and forth between Patsy and Trixie. She was flustered by the onslaught of questions, and amused as they quipped like they had been friends for years. 

Trixies attention turned back to Valerie, ‘So?’ 

Valerie smirked, looking up in thought, ‘Well, she’s from Jamaica, studied library science and got her degree here. We met a few weeks ago at the library. She helped me with a rather fussy photocopier and then lent me one of her favorite books. She showed up at the pub with her mates one night while I was working and I scarred off some fucking lad that was bothering them.’

‘Wait, is this the same bloke who gave you a black eye?’ Patsy asked. 

‘No, that was some other prick, but they hung out together in the same group.’ 

‘Blimey, so you’re telling me there was two men you chased off because of this woman?’ Trixie asked. 

Valerie blinked, ‘Huh… yeah I guess that’s true.’ 

‘Wow, and you said you had just met her? You must really like her.’ Trixie smiled, taking a drag from her cigarette. 

Valerie smiled bashfully, ‘Well I mean, she’s very cute, and sweet. When I chased off the first guy she thanked me by taking me out for something to eat and we chatted a bit more. Got to know one another. And then we exchanged numbers and started talking nonstop. Also she…’ Valerie trailed off, her heart sinking in her stomach as she thought of Saturday night when she got the news about Shok, how she drank her weight in beer and how Lucille helped her through it. Valerie remembered that Patsy had treated Shok along with her after his injury. She eyed Patsy briefly wondering if she should tell her about him. 

‘What is it?’ Patsy asked. 

She looked away and stubbed out her cigarette, deciding not to spoil the good mood by sharing the news. She decided she would tell her another time. 

‘Erm, well, she helped me through a rather rough night recently. She was a really good friend when I needed one, so… that kind of solidified that she was worth taking a punch for.’ 

‘And losing a tooth?’ Trixie smirked. 

Valerie grinned wide, not ashamed of the gap in the back of her mouth, ‘I don’t miss it!’ 

‘So who asked out whom?’ Trixie asked, ‘and how did you know she was gay?’ 

Valerie’s eyes widened with realization and she pointed at Trixie, ‘It was because of you, actually!’ 

‘What?! What did I do?’ 

‘The pin you wear on your scrubs! Remember when I asked about it?’

‘Oh, what, the bi-pride colors?’ Patsy remarked. 

‘Yes! I had seen Lou wearing those colors on a pendant ‘round her neck but didn’t know what they meant until I ran into you. So thank you!’ 

‘She’s bi?’ Trixie smiled. 

‘Yes. So anyway I asked her about it, we came out to each other, and I told her I fancied her and asked her out. So here we are,’ she turned to Patsy, ‘we’ve just come from watching Shakespeare in the park and had a picnic, and I was about to get a rather nice smooch down there before you interrupted.’

‘I’m not apologizing.’ Patsy quipped stubbornly, taking one last drag of her cigarette before putting it out. 

‘Well, happy to know I inadvertently engaged in setting up a sweet romance between the two of you. Besides, I’m sure you can still get a smooch,’ Trixie giggled happily, ‘you seem quite smitten.’

‘Oh, am I ever,’ Valerie held her face in her hands, a blush spreading across her face, ‘Ah, it’s terrible. I knew I was a goner when she knitted a jumper for my cat.’

Patsy clutched her heart, ‘Oh my god.’

‘I know!’

‘Hey!’ Delia appeared again, making Valerie jump, ‘Honey, they’re playing Beyoncé. That means it’s time to dance!’ 

‘Oh, god forbid we miss a song by queen Bey,’ Patsy said as Delia pulled her along by the hand, ‘Excuse us!’ 

The two disappeared back into the club, and Valerie looked back to see Lucille standing next to her, drink in hand. 

Valerie smiled, ‘Hey, having fun? 

Lucille hummed, nodding and taking a sip of her drink. She was looking back at Valerie rather dubiously. 

‘What’s the matter?’ 

‘So. Delia.’ 

Valerie looked at her curiously, ‘Yeah?’

‘You were in military training with her?’ 

‘Uh huh.’

Lucille looked down shyly all of a sudden, her hand coming to tug at the hem of Valerie’s shirt, ‘So is it like in the movies? Where you all have to shower together and stuff?’

Valerie blinked, an unsettling feeling forming in the pit of her stomach, ‘Um, yes?’ 

‘So you’ve seen Delia naked?’ Lucille asked, frowning. 

Valerie’s eyes widened, ‘What! Are you… are you upset about that?! That was over four years ago!’

Lucille pouted, ‘So you did see her naked then?’ 

Valerie scoffed, ‘I saw a lot of women naked.’

Lucille furrowed her eyebrows and frowned, looking at Valerie annoyed. 

WRONG. ANSER. YOU. GIT. Valerie shouted to herself as alarm bells were going off in her head shouting Mayday! Mayday! Save yourself now! 

‘Wait, wait…’ Valerie grasped onto Lucille’s arms and met her eyes, ‘What I meant to say was that, yes, we did have to share a shower, but we didn’t have a choice. We shared close quarters with 30 other women and had to stay clean so people didn’t get sick.’ 

Valerie was relieved to see Lucille’s expression soften as she listened. 

‘If it makes any difference, I was so stressed out and tired most of the time to even notice anyone else. It’s not like I wanted to be naked in front of everyone either, but we had to just buck up and do it.’ 

Lucille sighed, looking apologetic. 

‘It’s a blip in time in my life that I hardly think about at all.’ Valerie looked at her gently and stroked her arms. She could feel Lucille relax at her touch. 

‘Sorry, I’m being ridiculous, aren’t I?’ Lucille sighed, bringing a hand to her face embarrassed, ‘I just got really jealous over nothing.’ 

Valerie grinned, feeling slightly flattered. 

‘Hey,’ Valerie hooked her finger under Lucille’s chin and tilted her head slightly so their eyes met, ‘Its alright. I mean, if I were you I would be jealous of any other woman who got to see me naked, too.’

Lucille giggled.

‘I look great naked,’ Valerie implored, doing her best to look serious. 

Lucille broke out into a grin and Valerie relaxed, smiling back, ‘You're a great kisser, you look great naked… where do you get your confidence from?’ Lucille asked. 

Valerie took her finger and gently stroked Lucille’s cheek, ‘It’s this, right here. This smile. It makes me feel like I can run marathons and swim across oceans.’

Lucille smiled bashfully and placed her hand over Valerie’s, her lips placing a sweet kiss against her palm. She looked positively adorable and it made Valerie’s heart melt. 

Valerie felt relieved. Crisis averted. 

Lucille looked back up at her, ‘Do you want to dance?’ 

Valerie nodded, smiling. She took Lucille’s hands in hers and led her back into the club. 

The music was loud, the bass made her chest vibrate. She brushed up against strangers as the room in the club grew more dense with people standing around or dancing. Lucille took her to the dance floor and then turned to face her, moving her body in time with the beat. Valerie found her rhythm and mirrored her moves. She loved the way Lucille's skirt swayed around her knees with her movements. There was silly dancing, flirty dancing, and Valerie’s particular favorite, sexy dancing. There was a particular moment when Lucille pulled her close and pressed herself against Valerie, her arms wrapping around Valerie's shoulders while Valerie's hands found Lucille's hips, gently guiding them in time to the beat. She could feel Lucille press her soft lips against her neck, a hot tongue finding its way to press against a pulse point. Lucille’s hands found their way through Valerie’s hair as they rocked back and forth to the music. Valerie’s hands inadvertently grasped onto Lucille’s hips tighter, her own lips seeking contact with her skin. They found an earlobe, a smooth jawline, the corner of a pair of full soft lips. Lucille backed away slightly, her finger coming to rest on Valerie’s lips.

‘Not yet,’ she said, her smile growing wide like the Cheshire Cat. 

Valerie let out a sigh, turning Lucille around in her arms and bit down lightly on her shoulder to convey her frustration. Lucille laughed and leaned back into Valerie, letting her hold her as they swayed with the music. 

‘You like getting me worked up, don’t you,’ she said in Lucille’s ear, the woman in her arms giggling innocently. 

A tap on her shoulder made Valerie break away, and the two turned to find Barbara, nodding her head over towards an open pool table. 

The two joined the others for another round of drinks and a game of pool. Valerie was rather surprised to find Barbara was an exceptionally good shot, and wished she had the foresight to not challenge her to a game. Her other team mate choice would have been Delia, but the shorter woman was banned from playing when she kept poking Patsy in the butt with the cue. 

Soon, Valerie caught Lucille stifling a yawn, and a quick check of the time on her phone told her it was nearing 2am, and she knew Lucille worked Saturdays. She made their excuses and parted from the group with Lucille in tow, gathering her rucksack and Lucille’s purse at the door. She held Lucille in her arms as they walked back to the underground station, and let her curl up next to her as they rode back in the carriage. 

Having Lucille wrapped up on her arms as if they were cuddling on the sofa made Valerie inexplicably happy. The warm body against her, the soft hair through her fingers, the way she smelled… it was a sensory overload that had Valerie’s whole body humming. She felt as if she could fall asleep like this, but instead held Lucille tight, her lips finding her temple and gently resting there for the duration of the ride. 

‘I kind of don’t want to go home just yet,’ Lucille said as they exited the underground back in Poplar. 

‘Oh, no?’ Valerie thought for a moment, looking around until her eyes landed on a shop that was still open. 

‘You know, when I packed dinner earlier, I forgot to include a dessert.’ 

‘Oh, that’s right! How careless of you,’ Lucille teased, and Valerie smiled. 

‘Wait here. Let me try to make it up to you.’ 

Valerie popped into a 24-hour shop and returned to Lucille with two iced lollys. The two continued slowly walking back towards Lucille’s house idly chatting and enjoying their treat, though neither were in a rush for the evening to end just yet. As they passed a park, Lucille looked over towards an empty swing set that was illuminated under the streetlight. She stopped walking and Valerie followed her gaze. 

She turned to Valerie and squeezed her hand, ‘Fancy a swing?’ she asked, crunching off the last of her iced lolly and licking some of the melted bits off her fingers. Valerie was very distracted by this and it took her longer than normal to reply. 

Valerie shook her head, composing herself and playfully narrowed her eyes, ‘I think you’re just looking for an excuse to push me around.’ 

Lucille brought Valerie’s hand to her mouth and nipped at her finger, ‘You think I need an excuse to do that?’

Valerie sighed and shook her head, finishing off her iced lolly and allowing for Lucille to pull her along. As they approached, Lucille let go of Valerie's hand, walking towards a swingset. She grabbed the metal chains and turned back slightly, ‘Come on, have a seat and let me give you a push.’ 

Valerie smiled and placed her rucksack on the ground nearby. She sat down, but grabbed onto Lucille's hand to stop her from walking behind. 

Lucille looked at her curiously, ‘Don’t you want me to push you?’

‘Nah, I can see you much better from here,’ Valerie grinned as Lucille smiled shyly. She grabbed Lucille by the hips and pulled her close so that she was settled in between her knees, and wrapped her arms around her. Lucille gripped the swingset chain with one hand and the other found their way through Valerie's hair. 

Valerie closed her eyes and leaned into her touch, thinking that never in her life would she ever grow tired of the feeling of Lucille's fingers so lovingly stroking her hair. Without a second thought, Valerie held Lucille even tighter and pressed her face against Lucille's breasts, sighing contentedly. 

Lucille laughed, ‘Have you found a happy spot?’ 

Valerie hummed, nuzzling her head more into Lucilled chest, ‘Oh, definitely. I never want to leave.’ 

Lucille giggled, wrapping her arms around Valerie's head and continued to lovingly run her fingers through her hair. They remained like that for several moments until Valerie felt a pair of soft lips press against her forehead. She looked up slightly and saw Lucille looking down at her with dark eyes, a small smile on her features. Valerie closed her eyes as she felt Lucille's hands cradle the back of her head, tilting her to look up as she lightly rested her lips on her eyebrows, the her eyelids, slowly moving down the bridge of her nose. Valerie's grip on Lucille's hips tightened. Her breathing hitched in anticipation as she watched through half lidded eyes as Lucille licked her lips before finally, tentatively pressing them against her own. 

Her lips were cold, and she tasted of the cherry iced lolly she had just finished off. 

Lucille pulled away slightly, gauging Valerie's reaction. The woman in the swing still had her eyes closed, her lips parted as she took a deep breath. 

‘...wow,’ she whispered, and Lucille smiled, leaning back down to kiss her again. And again. 

The two wrapped their arms around each other, Valerie’s around Lucille's waist and Lucille's around Valerie's shoulders, cradling her head in the crook of her elbow as they kissed. Mouths opened and tongues reached out for tiny tentative tastes of each other and breathing hitched and grew heavy as hands wandered. 

Lucille pulled away slightly, suddenly seeming nervous, ‘Val… um, you’d tell me if I… if I do something that you don’t want to…if it’s too much?’

Valerie blinked a few times, her brain on such a high that she needed to take several seconds to assess what Lucille was even saying. 

‘Lou… there’s…’ this was rather difficult as Lucille's fingers had found their way through Valerie’s hair again and she was using all her self control to stop herself from purring like a damn cat, ‘there’s absolutely nothing you can do that would make me push you away.’ 

‘No?’

‘No. I fancy you, damn it, now kiss me,’ Valerie emphasized her desire by tugging at her blouse and wrapping her arms around her tight.

Lucille happily obliged, her mouth finding Valerie's again as her arms wrapped around her neck once more. Valerie was unprepared for the sheer excitement and force of this motion and she was forced to lean back. Her eyes shot open and she let out a surprised gasp as her feet left the ground, and she found herself tightening her grip on Lucille as both women shouted in surprise, tumbling into a pile of entangled arms and legs on the ground, wood chips cushioning their fall, little bits of them flying everywhere. The impact knocked the breath out of Valerie as she landed on her back with Lucille on top of her. 

Lucille groaned in pain, ‘Ah… sorry. Are you alright?’ she shifted slightly so her legs weren’t entangled with Valerie's on the seat of the swing. She raked her fingers through her hair to get it out of her face, her eyes showing concern as she searched Valerie's expression. 

Valerie goraned herself, blinking several times while she caught her breath. Her grip tightened on Lucille as she felt the woman above her try to move off of her. Lucille stopped and looked back at her inquiringly. 

Valerie smiled, ‘You know, my evening with you wouldn’t be complete without me ending up on the ground in some fashion or another.’ 

Lucille smirked and shyly buried her head in Valerie's shoulder, ‘I feel like I’ve completely ruined out first kiss,’ she mumbled. 

Valerie chuckled and reassuringly rubbed her back, ‘On the contrary, you’ve managed to turn it into one that I will never forget. You’ve quite literally knocked me off my feet, and no one has ever done that before.’ 

Lucille laughed and Valerie could feel her relax in her arms. Lucille adjusted herself, leaning on her elbows and looked down at Valerie, whose heart melted a little at her pretty smile. 

Valerie reached up and tucked a few loose curls of Lucille's hair behind her ear before she gently grasped behind her head and pulled her down for another kiss. Valerie found her soft lips wonderfully addictive. The feeling of Lucille's weight on top of her, her breathing, the way her tongue felt hot against her own and tasted like cherries made her almost drunk with desire. There was some semblance of control that kept her from moving her legs from their precarious position to one that she thought Lucille would find absolutely pleasurable between her own legs, but she stopped herself. It was challenging when Lucilled full, soft lips moved from her own to her jaw and under her ear, and then moved to a rather sensitive spot along her neck that made want to thrust her hips, but instead she grasped tight onto Lucilled waist and closed her eyes. The moan that rolled out of her mouth couldn’t be stopped, however, and Valerie took pleasure in hearing Lucille breathe and moan in her ear in return, her teeth lightly nipping at her neck before being kissed. 

Their mouths connected once more, Valerie pulling on Lucille's bottom lip gently with her teeth before grazing over it with her tongue, causing the woman above her to gasp. Valerie’s mouth kissed its way up Lucille's jawline, under her ear, and gently tugged on an earlobe, Lucille sighing in her ear. Lucille's grip around Valerie's head tightened, and Valerie could almost feel Lucille press into her harder as she nipped and kissed her way back down her neck. 

‘Val,’ Lucille said so quietly that Valerie barely heard. She could feel her stiffen in her arms. 

‘Valerie,’ Lucille said again, more stern. 

Valerie pulled away and opened her eyes. Lucille's head was turned, her gaze on a light that was suddenly shining on them. Valerie turned her head in the direction of the light and could make out the reflective patches of a constables uniform. 

Both Lucille and Valerie scrambled to their feet as the person holding the light cleared their throat, ‘Excuse me ladies, do you mind reading that sign over there?’ The light pointed away from them to a sign that was on the other side of the playground. 

Valerie blinked a few times seeing spots, unable to make out what the sign said because the constable had shone the bloody torch in her face. Thankfully Lucille was able to decipher. 

‘No trespassing after dusk…’

‘Oh.’ 

‘Would you be so kind as to continue your evening elsewhere,’ the constable said polite, yet stern. 

‘Ah… yeah, sorry about that,’ Valerie said, scooping up her bag and pulling a nervous Lucille along by the hand. 

As they crossed the street, Lucille reached behind Valerie and brushed off her back of loose wood chips while Valerie picked them out of Lucille's hair, giggling slightly to rid themselves of their nerves. Lucille shook her head, breathing a sigh of relief. 

‘Gosh, I thought he was going to arrest us!’ Lucille said, taking another deep breath as they walked quickly towards her house. 

‘Lou, they don’t do that here, I promise you.’ 

‘I know, I know… it’s still nerve wracking!’

In an attempt to calm her, Valerie wrapped her arm around Lucille's shoulders and lightly kissed her temple. Lucilles arm automatically found it’s way around her waist, and the two walked like that in step the rest of the way to Lucille's house. 

The encounter with the constable was soon forgotten as they approached Lucille's door, and the memory of how wonderful it felt to be kissing returned when Lucille stopped in her tracks and did just that. She pulled Valerie close, kissing her playfully on the tip of her nose and her cheeks, making Valerie smile and laugh. Lucilles lips met Valeries in a quick peck that soon slowed down, both women closing their eyes and opening their mouths to softly taste one another again. Valerie's hand reached up to cradle Lucille's head as Lucille’s hands tugged at Valerie's shirt, her hands finding their way along the skin of Valerie's back, and she sighed pleasantly at the contact. Her mouth broke away to find the spot under Lucille's ear that made her breathing hitch and her head lull to the side to allow Valerie more access. 

‘Ok, this was definitely worth the wait,’ Lucille breathed as she pulled away slightly, composing herself. 

Valerie winked, ‘Told you I was a good kisser.’ 

Lucille smiled and playfully pinched her arm

‘I want to kiss you all night,’ she said softly, her fingers lightly tracing the shell of Valerie's ear. The sensation sent a shiver down Valerie's spine. 

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘We can certainly do that… and more.’

Lucille bit her lip shyly, her eyes gazed into Valerie’s with uncertainty, ‘I’m not ready to ...just yet.’ 

Valerie smiled reassuringly, placing a kiss on the palm of Lucille's hand, ‘OK.’

‘OK?’ 

Valerie hummed, closing her eyes and pressing her face into Lucille's hand, ‘I think that’s worth waiting for, too.’ 

Lucille smiled and kissed her once more before pulling away. She held Valerie's hands in hers, not quite wanting to let go just yet. 

‘Thank you for tonight, by the way. You, uh… you make a pretty good date, Val.’ 

Valerie scoffed with fake indignation, ‘Pretty good?!’ 

‘Well I mean… We didn’t make it to Paris, so.’

‘Oh for fucks sake,’ Valerie mumbled as Lucille grinned. She turned and walked up her stoop, digging through her purse and retrieving her keys. 

Still smiling, she looked back at Valerie, ‘You’ll text me…’

‘When I get home, I promise,’ Valerie finished, tucking her hands in her pockets as Lucille opened her door. 

She turned around one last time and said, ‘Goodnight,’ 

‘Goodnight,’ Valerie said softly. She waited to turn and leave until she knew Lucille was safe inside her home. 

Valerie headed back to her own house, eyes closed, her fingers pressed against her lips. They still tingled with the sensation of Lucille's lips pressed against them. The feeling of her fingers running through her hair, their bodies pressed against one another, how she breathed in her ear when Valerie kissed that certain spot on her neck. Earlier that evening she didn’t think she could have taken any more waiting for Lucille to touch her like she did, and now her body was pulsing and thriving on those touches and she knew for certain there would be no chance of her getting to sleep tonight. 

But the wait was worth it. It was definitely, definitely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally, some kissing. Let's see how the physical aspect of this relationship plays out, shall we? 
> 
> Coming up next week, an interlude. Stay tuned.
> 
>  
> 
> [First Look](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-10-1-745460356)  
> [Train](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-10-2-745460574)  
> [Hey, Patsy and Delia are in this one!](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-10-3-745460688)  
> [First Kiss](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-10-4-745460826)


	11. Pupcake Interlude - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little interlude into how Patsy and Delia got together within the Stargazers Universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next two parts are dedicated to superbanana for planting the seed in my head for this little bit. The seed just grew and grew and I started and couldn't stop, so here it is. 
> 
> So, I also just want to say I intended for this to be a simple one shot, but nothing is ever simple with me. This bit became an almost 25k word monolith and I just had to split it up into two parts. 
> 
> I wanted this chapter to include a lot of pupcake, romance, fluff, angst, smut (of course smut, it's me here), etc, so I hope I meet anyone expectations in that regard!
> 
> Also note: Anyone who isn't Patsy and Delia is completely made up - any names and likenesses are completely coincidental.

‘DOWN, UP!’ 

Delia was in the push-up position in the middle of the track field. The sun was cresting over the horizon and her hands were wet and cold from the dew on the grass from the spring morning. She debated whether she could get away with cheating a little by dropping to her knees, but decided against it for the mere reason of not wanting to get her knees wet. Besides, if she stood up with grass on her knees she would never hear the end of it from her friend Baldy, the stout blonde next to her stifling a yawn. Baldwin was her real name, a Welsh woman like Delia, though this one was built like a rugby player. Running long distances was a challenge for her, but she could do one handed pushups in her sleep if she wanted. When Delia arrived on base the two took one look at each other and knew the other was gay. They had been friends ever since. 

‘DOWN, UP!’

The command was given again from the physical training leader up at the front of the squadron. Everyone around Delia did a push-up. How many was he going to make them do this morning? Today was Friday, a running day. She always failed to see why they were made to do pushups on running days, but she never hesitated to fall to her face when given the order under the watchful eye of Colour Sergeant Regan, or Skeletor, as the other junior enlisted liked to call him. The man was all skin and bone, his skin pulled so tight over his face he reminded Delia of a cat when you stroked them too hard. A shoulder injury kept him from working out with them this morning, but for as long as she had been there, Delia had noticed he always seemed to have some medical issue or another keeping him from doing PT with the rest of them. Yet he showed up anyway and kept an eye on the squadron, ready to call out anyone who wasn’t doing the exercise properly, ready to tell on them to their supervisor, to issue paperwork. He was probably the kid in class who would remind the teacher not to forget to give everyone their homework before class was over. Delia was not alone in wishing the prick would just retire already. 

‘DOWN, UP!’ 

‘Ugh, fuck me,’ Delia grumbled, completing another push-up. They must have done twenty by now and she was over it. She was ready to move on to stretching another part of her body. Preferably her legs, if she was ever to get through this 5K they were about to run. 

‘What’s the matter Busby, tired already?’ Baldy quipped from the side of her mouth. The woman was doing two or three push-ups in between commands, not having the patience to do them slowly. She must have done sixty in the time the rest of the squadron had completed twenty. 

‘Quiet, show off.’ 

The command for everyone to stand and do lunges was given, and Delia thanked the stars in relief.

‘I’m about to leave you in the dust anyway.’ 

Hands on her hips and legs stretched out in a lunge, Delia cracked her back and opened her mouth wide in a big yawn, her eyes screwing shut in the process. After several months of waking up at 4:30 in the morning, she was still not used to rising early. She smacked her lips a few times, thinking the run would wake her up. Her eyes blinked open again and landed on a face she had never seen before. A redheaded woman on the other side of the squadron stretching next to Captain Perry, who seemed to be chatting her ear off. The woman was looking right at Delia, and had no doubt caught her yawning. Delia turned her head so fast her neck cracked. She looked straight ahead, wide eyed and blushing. Who was that woman? 

‘Baldy,’ Delia said out of the corner of her mouth, still looking forward not wanting to be caught, ‘you know who that redhead is over there?’

Baldy leaned back and peered over Delia’s shoulder, shrugging, ‘No idea. Never seen her before. If she’s standing with Perry she must be an officer. Maybe she’s just gotten back from deployment or something?’ 

‘Oh. Yeah, maybe.’ 

‘Why? You interested?’ 

‘Shh!’ Delia glared at her friend, who smirked, ‘Just never seen her before, is all. She caught me yawning. I don’t want her to think I’m a lazy shit,’ Delia said. 

Delia wasn’t looking but she could feel Baldy roll her eyes as the squadron was commanded to switch and stretch out the other leg, ‘No one thinks anyone is a lazy shit for yawning during PT. Stop being so uptight Busby, you’re not at basic anymore.’ 

Delia ignored Baldy and chanced a peek back over to the two officers. What caught her interest more so than how attractive the redhead was, it was that, if she was indeed an officer, she would be the only female officer in the squadron. The man who currently had her ear, Captain Perry, was an alright looking chap that was about the same height as Delia, so not tall at all. He had the unfortunate habit of droning on incessantly about subjects no one seemed to care about, especially your typical woman. Football, cars, how to fix cars, magazines about cars and car parts. Delia didn’t need to stretch her imagination far to know that the polite smiling and nodding from the taller woman was an attempt to do just that - be polite. 

Finally the PT leader waived his hand and the squadron started to take off, following him. 

Delia turned to Baldy, pulling out her headphones, ‘See you in the chow hall?’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll meet you there with the other slow-pokes.’ 

Delia smiled, fitting her headphones into her ear and pressing play on the ipod banded to her arm before taking off. 

Delia’s mind was on several different things as her feet pounded the pavement to the beat of her playlist. She passed other co-workers, some she knew, some not as well. She was still relatively new and was still learning everyone's name, which was difficult when people worked different shifts or were plucked at random to go on a deployment. Her mind began to wonder, about looking forward to her weekend, about what she planned to do, about a new movie she wanted to see or a book she had been meaning to read for ages now. It was payday. She wondered if Baldy would check out that gay bar in Frankfurt with her. 

Before Delia knew it, 25 minutes had passed and she was nearing the end of her run, but this last bit was rather difficult. A hill. Why did they always want to end the runs on a hill when everyone was dead tired and exhausted. Masochists, was what they were. 

Delia slowed to a walk, hands on her hips as she took deep breaths. Her lungs and legs were on fire. She just needed this short break. Just a little one to get through this last bit and then she was free to stuff her face with eggs and bacon and all the coffee she wanted at the chow hall. The thought alone was enough to almost get her running again. Almost. 

‘Don’t stop,’ came a voice, about as out of breath as Delia was herself. 

Delia looked over and saw the same redhead that had caught her yawning earlier trot next to her. The womans face was tinged pink from exertion, sweat was beading down the side of her face and drenched the front of her shirt. Delia imagined she looked no better. 

‘Come on, pace with me,’ the woman said, and Delia nodded, not wanting to turn down an order from an officer. 

The two soon fell in step with each other, and Delia tucked her headphones into her pocket, bringing the collar of her t-shirt to her face to wipe it clean of sweat. 

‘Is that the finish? Over there?’ the woman asked, nodding her head in the direction of the group of people down by the track. The faster runners who had already finished their 5k were milling about, waiting for the rest to cross the finish line so the higher-ups could give them their briefing before dismissing them for the workday. 

‘Yes, that’s it,’ Delia said, still out of breath, though she was unsure if it was because of her running or from the close proximity of this new person. 

‘Let’s sprint. To the finish,’ the woman suggested. 

‘What?!’ Delia cried, making the other woman smile, ‘You’re mad!’ 

‘Once we reach that light pole we go,’ she said, a small smile appearing on her face. 

‘No way.’ Delia insisted. Her legs couldn’t take it. 

‘What, you can’t do it?’ the woman challenged with a mischievous smirk, and Delia’s heart lodged itself in her throat. 

Officer or not, Delia’s competitive streak roared to life in that instant, ‘Oh, I can do it.’ 

‘Well?’

Delia groaned and the woman laughed. As they approached the light, Delia braced herself to pick up the pace. She could almost feel her lungs and legs whine in protest, but she certainly wasn't going to turn down this request from such a pretty woman. 

‘Go!’ the woman took off and Delia cursed the heavens from all the pain but she was not about to let someone beat her in an impromptu race to the finish if she could help it. Damn the pain! She could put up with having jelly legs for the rest of the day if it meant wiping that gorgeous smirk off that woman’s face. 

The two huffed and puffed around the last leg of the track, their feet slamming against the hard rubbery surface. Delia ran as fast as she could, her knees coming up so high they almost hit her chest. She probably looked ridiculous, but she didn’t care. She was a hair behind the taller woman, whom she could hear laugh next to her. It almost sounded maniacal, and Delia imagined that this must all be so amusing to her, or a stress relief. It made her let out a strangled cry as she pushed forward. Delia grit her teeth, tears forming in her eyes as she approached the finish. She and this woman were in lock step with each other and they crossed together. Delia could vaguely hear the applauded support from the other members of her squadron who had already finished, cheering them on for putting in the effort. 

Delia slowed to a walk, finding a spot on the grass, now dry from the morning sunlight, and laid down. Her breathing was deep, her face was hot, and she kept her eyes closed as she caught her breath. The pounding of her pulse in her ears subsided, and she could faintly hear two people approach her as they walked through the grass. 

‘Private Busby,’ came a male voice. Delia opened her eyes to see two heads looking down at her. 

‘I see you’ve become acquainted with our new doctor, Lieutenant Mount?’ Captain Perry asked, his face red and sweaty after having just finished the run. 

The Lieutenant smiled down at Delia, ‘Nice to meet you officially, Private.’ She reached up and wiped a bit of sweat from her forehead. The loose bits of her hair stuck to the side of her face and Delia was glad to have already been red from the run to cover her blush from looking at such a beautiful woman. 

‘Pleasure,’ Delia quipped from her spot on the ground. Her eyes darted back to Captain Perry as he addressed her. 

‘She’s been assigned to your unit. I was wondering if you could show her around once your shift starts? At least show her the ropes until Captain Assad can get a free moment to brief her on his duties before she takes over for him.’

‘Oh, is he deploying?’ Delia inquired conversationally. 

‘Yes, and you know I can’t disclose when or where.’ 

‘Of course.’ 

The Lieutenant gave Delia a brilliant smile, ‘I’ll see you later then, Private Busby?’ 

‘Yes, Ma’am,’ Delia said, giving a shy smile back to her. The two officers walked off, leaving Delia lying alone in the grass staring at a blue sky. 

‘Iesu Mawr!’ she swore quietly to herself. This day was sure to be interesting.

* * *

Delia kicked at a rock as she and her mates wandered the streets of Frankfurt. Baldy, Taylor, and Hennen chatted idly amongst themselves as they headed to their usual weekend spot, a gay pub called Scissor Sisters. It was a drab, hole in the wall kind of place, full of hazy smoke and questionable characters most of the time, but it was the only gay hang out close by, so Delia and her friends would frequent the spot on a regular basis. 

Delia wasn’t particularly fond of the pub, but with it being the only space within driving distance for people like herself, she went. She drank. She hoped to maybe meet someone she could be romantically interested in, but she had no luck in that regard so far. There was always one person whom she wished she would bump into here. The Lieutenant from work. Mount. She found out her first name was Patsy. Ever since their first encounter at PT several weeks ago, Delia would find any excuse to be close to the officer, things like showing her around, helping her with tasks, and being the first to volunteer with her when the opportunity arose. She even joined the running club the day after she found out Patsy had joined. She used the club as a way to pace with the woman and talk to her casually in an environment outside of work. She found out so many interesting things about her, about her interests and hobbies, her love of music and travel, how she was motivated to become a doctor, how she loved children. She was suspiciously quiet when any mentionings of her family came up, and it did not go unnoticed by Delia, who instead blathered on about her own large family and overbearing parents back in Wales while Patsy listened on with a kind smile. 

So now Delia ran five days a week instead of three, and while her body ached because of it, she found it worth it to see Patsy’s pretty smile every morning. She often thought how nice it would be to wake up to a smile like that, but she would have to settle for making the taller woman laugh with her silly antics and jokes. 

Delia wasn’t sure if Patsy was gay or not. It was hard to tell when her hairstyle didn’t give it away, and having only seen the woman in uniform made it all the more challenging. She couldn’t help but wonder, sometimes, when she caught Patsy looking at her. It maybe happened once or twice, at PT when Delia let her hair down to tidy it and put it back up in a bun or ponytail, but Delia swore she had caught the junior officer glancing in her direction with a small smirk and a blush. The moment was always over in the blink of an eye, quite literally, when Delia had caught her. She wondered sometimes how many other glances in her direction there were from the redhead that she didn’t catch. 

The summer evening proved to be quite warm, and Delia rolled up the sleeves of her t-shirt, wishing she had worn a pair of shorts or a dress instead of jeans. It was nearly 11pm when they approached the pub. Gay men and women alike stood around outside smoking, and a loud, thumping bass could be felt reverberating from within the bar. Some were already drunk, laughing, flirting, carrying on loudly with their arms around each other and filing the air with smoke from their cigarettes. 

‘Hey, I’ll go and grab a round if you get a pool table?’ Taylor, a lanky Brummie with tattooed sleeves on both arms asked. Her dark hair was cropped short, and her face still showed scars of where she had facial piercings from her wild youth. 

‘Ooh, will you please get me a whiskey ginger?’ Hennen asked in her soft Scottish lit. The long haired brunette clasped her hands together and batted her lashes at Taylor, who blushed and smiled. Delia thought it was rather silly how shamelessly Hennen flirted with Taylor but neither of them had the nerve to act on their attraction. 

‘I want a whiskey ginger, too, pweeze,’ Baldy said, imitating Hennen and batting her eyelashes dramatically at Taylor, who shoved her playfully. 

‘Just a whiskey for me,’ Delia said, picking up a pool cue and turning towards the bar. She leaned on her cue, Baldy collecting the pool balls and racking them noisily next to her. Delia’s eyes landed on a particularly wonderful rear end leaning on the bar that filled out a pair of skinny jeans quite nicely. That arse looked vaguely familiar, and Delia’s eyes zoomed out, taking in the rest of the woman. What she saw was a familiar figure dressed casually in jeans and a plaid button down with red hair pulled back in a short ponytail, and Delia couldn’t help but wonder if this woman was indeed the very one she had just been thinking of. 

Please turn around, please turn around, please turn around. Delia chanted to herself, looking on curiously as she twirled the pool cue between her fingers. Her heart beat frantically in her chest with anticipation. Her chanting was interrupted when her friend shoved a whiskey in her hand. 

‘Um, thanks,’ she handed the cue to Taylor, ‘You go on ahead and play, I’ll take the next round.’ 

‘Suit yourself,’ Taylor said as Baldy took her shot to break the rack. 

Drink in hand, Delia stealthy walked towards a dark corner of the bar where she knew she would go unnoticed. She leaned against the wall, sipping her drink. The woman finally turned her head and Delia nearly spit out her whiskey in shock. 

It was her. It was Lieutenant Mount! In a gay bar! Wearing plaid! 

She was a dyke! She was a dyke! Delia wanted to throw confetti and dance around in jubilation at the revelation, but she needed to be cool about it. She tried in vain to hide her huge grin behind her whiskey as she took another sip, her eyes locked on that beautiful redhead at the other end of the bar drinking from her own pint of beer. She looked annoyed.

Delia looked past her and finally noticed who was engaged in conversation with her. Another woman who was turned towards her. She looked to be about ten years older and fifty pounds heavier than Patsy. Clad in a leather jacket and boots to match, this woman looked to be better suited paired with a motorcycle than with Patsy. Were they friends? 

Delia watched curiously as they chatted. The butch woman with the slicked back pompadour reached up to tug at Patsy’s sleeve absentmindedly. Her eyes seemed unfocused and glazed over. She was probably already drunk. Patsy shrugged her off, but the woman seemed unrelenting. 

OK, so maybe they weren’t friends. It looked as if Patsy was stuck. This woman seemed to be giving her attention that she didn’t want, and as Delia watched her give terse replies and strained smiles, it seemed Patsy was too polite to tell the woman to just fuck off. 

It didn’t seem Patsy was here with anyone. Delia scanned the bar quickly to see if she recognized anyone other than her friends, but saw no one from base that she knew. Did she not bring a friend with her? Then again, it was plausible that Patsy could be here by herself. It’s not as if she could fraternize with the enlisted, and she was the only woman officer in their unit, and presumably the only gay one no less. Delia felt sad suddenly. Could it be that Patsy didn’t have any queer friends to hang out with? Did she… did she have any friends here at all? 

Patsy looked as if she was growing more annoyed by the second, looking around the pub for an out, but finding none. The woman next to her just couldn't seem to take the hint that Patsy was not at all interested. 

Delia couldn’t take it anymore. She gulped down the last of her whiskey and slammed the empty glass on the bar, licking her lips as the alcohol stung her throat and warmed her belly. Her gaze unwavering on the redhead, she strode over to the two of them and pulled on Patsy’s arm, turning the taller woman to face her. 

‘Hey babe, sorry I’m late,’ Delia pulled the taller woman down and kissed her on the cheek. 

Delia pulled away and smiled at Patsy’s shocked expression. She tilted her head and winked, grabbing Patsy’s hand and squeezed, ‘Come on, then, let’s go and dance for a bit!’ 

Without waiting for a response, Delia pulled Patsy along towards the dance floor and was grateful she felt no resistance from the Lieutenant. She only turned to look back at her after she pushed her way through to the center of the floor. Patsy still looked on at her in complete shock, and Delia was starting to grow a little worried. Had she done the right thing?

‘Hey, sorry,’ she said over the music, ‘you looked as if you needed some help…’ she trailed off, unsure of what to say. 

Patsy finally blinked, a smile spreading across her features, ‘I… yes, thank you! I wasn’t quite sure how to tell her I wasn’t interested.’ 

Delia looked back over at the woman, who was gazing intently at them from her perch at the bar. 

‘She’s still looking… should we pretend to be together so she doesn’t try to come and find you later?’ 

‘Yes, please!’ Patsy exclaimed as she grasped Delia’s hand, twirling her on the dance floor before holding her and swaying. Delia couldn’t help but laugh as she settled into Patsy’s arms, and she was happy to see Patsy smiling, too. Delia loved the feeling of being in Patsy’s arms, and it was as wonderful as she had ever imagined. She gazed admiringly at the redhead, her heart fluttering in her chest. She couldn’t contain her smile as they rocked to the music, the shy smile and blush that crept across the cheeks of the woman in her arms made her giggle. 

‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ Patsy said. 

‘Oh?’ Delia tilted her head. Her long hair flowed over her shoulder and she saw Patsy’s eyes follow the brunette locks. 

‘Um, yeah,’ Patsy replied, seeming distracted as they swayed. She blinked and looked Delia in the eyes again, ‘I didn’t know you were… I mean I wasn’t sure that you were… you know.’

Delia chuckled, ‘Gay?’ she finished or her. She tilted her head again and her long hair swayed with her. She watched bemused as Patsy’s eyes followed the direction of her hair once again. 

‘Uh… yeah,’ Patsy finished, sounding distracted again, and Delia giggled. 

‘I was wondering about you, too, you know.’ 

‘Oh yeah?’ Patsy blinked and focused back on Delia. 

‘Yeah, well, until about ten minutes ago when I saw you in your civies for the first time,’ Delia quipped, her thumb and forefinger coming to teasingly pluck at the collar of Patsy’s plaid shirt. 

Patsy laughed shyly, taking a chance to peek back over at the bar, ‘You know, I think the coast is clear… do you think maybe I could buy you a drink as thanks?’ she asked. 

‘I would love that,’ Delia smiled as Patsy led her back towards the bar, and they stood together while Patsy ordered, both ordering a whiskey and clinking their glasses together before they took a sip. 

‘You’re not here alone are you?’ Patsy asked after a moment. 

Delia looked back towards the pool tables, which were now occupied by people she did not know. She looked at the bar, and then at the dance floor. 

‘Well, no, I did show up with friends, but I have no idea where they went,’ she leaned an elbow on the bar, taking a sip of her drink, ‘but no matter. I’m not alone. You’re with me.’

Delia smiled as she watched Patsy sputter and turn about five different shades of red. 

‘Did you come here with anyone?’ Delia asked curiously. She assumed the answer was ‘no’ but wanted to hear from Patsy herself. 

‘Oh... well, I suppose I decided to venture out on my own, you know,’ Patsy shrugged, ‘check out the scene. It’s certainly not like back home, is it?’ 

‘What, London? Hardly. We’re basically out in the sticks, here. Though I’m certainly more familiar with that than you are, I’m sure.’ Delia winked. 

‘Wales is not the sticks,’ Patsy said, taking a sip of her drink. 

‘You’re right. It should be called the sheep,’ Delia wiggled her eyebrows and Patsy scoffed at her dumb joke. 

‘I wouldn’t usually come out to a place like this,’ Patsy continued, looking down at her whiskey and swirling it in the glass, ‘Not really one for clubs, but I…’ she shrugged, sighing, ‘I get tired of being around straight people all the time. I needed to come out and be…’ 

‘Yourself?’ Delia suggested. 

Patsy gave a shy smile and nodded. 

‘I totally get it, I mean,’ Delia paused. Out of habit, she raked her fingers through her hair and fluffed the long locks with her hand, ‘it’s only natural to want to be around people who are like you…’ she trailed off as she noticed Patsy staring at her with wide eyes, cheeks twinged the slightest shade of pink and her lips parted ever so slightly. 

‘Lieutenant?’ Delia said, and the woman in front of her snapped to attention. 

‘Oh! Uh, yes, exactly,’ she blinked and took another sip of her whiskey turning towards the bar and pointedly not looking at Delia. 

‘Well, you’re in good company. If I knew where my friends were I would introduce you. At the very least, if you need someone to talk to about all your gay problems you can just come and find me,’ Delia smiled when she got a laugh out of Patsy. 

The redhead playfully rolled her eyes, ‘But I have so many!’ 

‘Who doesn’t!’ 

‘You’ll get sick of me.’ 

‘Not possible.’ 

Patsy smiled shyly, resting her head in her hand and looked adoringly at Delia, who was smiling so wide she was sure her dimples were showing. 

The two finished their drinks and ordered another. As the evening went on, they chatted more at the bar, danced some more, and wound down their evening with a few games of pool. Delia had kept the officer laughing and happy with her stupid jokes and silly moves on the dance floor. She knew she was acting like a fool, but Delia was in the mood to just about damn well do nearly anything to see that woman smile. 

At around 2am the two exited the club and walked the streets of Frankfurt. The night air was cool against Delia’s arms and face, and the smells of street food wafted towards them and coaxed the two to grab an early morning treat in the form of gyros from a food truck parked down the street from the pub. 

‘Do you have a place to stay tonight?’ Patsy asked as she finished off her snack.

‘Mmm, yes,’ Delia said taking a bite of hers, ‘My mates and I usually get an airbnb when we come up here. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where they fucked off to earlier leaving me behind.’ 

‘Not that I condone that type of behavior from friends usually, I’m kind of glad they did.’ 

Delia smiled, ‘Yeah, me too.’ 

The two threw away their rubbish and walked some more, chatting. They were in step with each other and Delia wondered if Patsy would hold her hand. She wanted her to. 

They stubbornly stayed in her pockets. 

‘Thanks for tonight,’ Patsy said. 

‘Hmm?’

‘For getting me out of a bad situation. For pretending to be my girlfriend.’ 

Delia beamed, ‘Yeah, maybe we could try it for real sometime?’

Delia felt her heart sink. She inwardly cringed, knowing that she shouldn't have said that. She shouldn’t be putting Patsy in that position, but with her being in such a great mood and a little bit tipsy, she thought for a moment that the odds were in her favor. 

To her surprise, Patsy let out a laugh and smiled, ‘Ah… well…’ she trailed off. 

‘You know what, don’t, um… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Please forget I said that.’

‘No, no, it’s alright. The thing is I’m not…’

Oh, god. Delia felt terrified. Was Patsy not single? Did she have someone back home?

‘I’m not surprised,’ Patsy finally finished. 

‘Surprised?’ Delia blinked. 

‘Yeah. Well, I mean… you seem really friendly. I was wondering if that’s just the way you are or if you liked me.’ 

Delia grinned and rocked on her heels, ‘Oh, certainly both, but definitely the latter.’

Patsy gave a shy smile and rubbed the back of her neck nervously, ‘Yeah, I kind of noticed you always seem to find a way to be around.’ 

Delia’s grin faded and Patsy panicked. 

‘Oh, what I mean to say is that I’ve noticed you’re always volunteering with me and joined the same clubs as me. I’m just trying to say I’ve noticed… you.’ 

Delia blinked, and she faltered. Her heart felt like it was in the pit of her stomach. 

‘Oh… oh, well,’ she put on a brave smile, ‘I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel uncomfortable in any way. I can quit some of the clubs and give you some space..’ 

‘No!’ Patsy's exclamation made Delia look up suddenly, ‘no, please don’t do that. I quite like having you around. I like…,’ Patsy sighed and closed her eyes, ‘I like you,’ she finally said, and tentatively opened her eyes to meet Delia’s. ‘I like you a lot, actually.’ She seemed relieved, yet earnest. She seemed completely genuine in her confession and Delia felt her smile slowly come back. 

‘Oh,’ she managed to say softly. 

‘I like you, it’s just we can’t… we shouldn’t…’ 

Delia held up her hands, ‘I know. I get it.’ 

‘Yeah…’ Patsy shrugged and looked down. She seemed quite sad. 

Delia took a step closer to Patsy and grasped her hand between hers, bringing the taller woman’s hand and holding it close to her heart. 

‘You know, I think that knowing we like each other… I think that’s enough, don’t you?’ she brushed her thumb over the soft knuckles of the woman next to her, taking in how close she was. She had no idea when she would have another chance to be near her and touch her like this. Delia’s body felt warm next to Patsy's, and she could smell the faint scent of her flowery shampoo. It was wonderful. 

Delia smiled up at Patsy, ‘OK?’ 

Patsy gave a shy smile back, ‘OK,’ she looked down at their entwined hands and bit her lip. ‘Promise me you won’t quit any of the clubs.’ 

Delia’s smile turned into a grin and she nodded, ‘I promise.’ 

She slowly let go of Patsy’s hand and placed her hands back in her pockets. She already missed the warmth. 

‘Are you… do you have a place to stay tonight?’ She asked. 

‘No, I borrowed a car from another officer and promised to have it back to him first thing.’ 

‘But it’s already two in the morning! Aren’t you tired?’

‘It’s alright! I’ll be fine,’ she looked away, trailing off slightly, ‘I barely sleep as it is.’ 

‘Um… well, I suppose there’s no way of convincing you to stay with my mates and I?’ 

Patsy raised an eyebrow, ‘Deels, you know that wouldn’t look right.’ 

Delia smirked at the improvised nickname, ‘Well, can I at least give you my number? I want you to text as soon as you’re back on base so I know you’ve made it home safe.’

Patsy still looked hesitant. 

Having noticed a pattern from earlier, Delia casually ran her fingers through her own hair and fluffed it over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes slightly, ‘Please?’ she asked. 

Patsy looked absolutely mesmerized. She seemed to have been holding her breath, and blinked, her eyes coming back into focus as she mumbled an, ‘A...alright.’ She pulled out her phone and handed it to Delia. 

The brunette surreptitiously put her name in Patsy’s phone as ‘Deels.’

* * *

The next several weeks seemed to fly by. Delia and Patsy fell into a certain schedule that allowed for them to be in close proximity with each other without anyone getting suspicious. They would reserve any personal talks for when they were running in the mornings, and sometimes they would just listen to their music and pace with one another. Patsy would send Delia a new playlist every week and before they started running, they would press play at the same time on their iPods and go. Delia really loved their mornings together. Just to start her day being close to the Lieutenant was enough to get Delia through whatever stress awaited her at work. During their shifts, things were busy. New patients flew in every day and Delia was buried in paperwork most of the day while Patsy flitted from room to room where she was needed, checking on patients or patching them up. Very rarely did they have a moment alone during their shifts, but a few times a day the two would catch a glance at the other. It always made Delia smile when she saw the Lieutenant looking in her direction, her ears turning bright red for having been caught. 

Delia could feel herself falling for the woman when she showed up at Delia’s promotion ceremony. Her supervisor pinned on her Lance Corporal stripe and Delia had to laugh as Patsy nearly fell out of her seat cheering over the applause from the rest of their squadron. She had never felt more enamoured with her. Delia rewarded herself by moving out of the dorms and into her very own flat the weekend following her promotion. She painted the walls and invited her friends over for pizza and a movie, but really all she wished for was to have her own space away from the prying eyes of the dorm dwellers to have some alone time with the Lieutenant. She didn’t know if or when that day would come, but she kept her hopes up. 

Delia noticed, as the weeks wore on and the work seemed to increase, those knowing glances became fewer and fewer. At first Delia assumed it was the work. She was busy, too, and knew that Patsy had her hands full being the only doctor on shift most of the time. Then, Delia would show up to run in the mornings only to find the reason she joined the running club wasn’t there. Maybe she overslept? Maybe she was sick? But then she would see the Lieutenant at work fit as a fiddle and in her element, looking as put together as ever, with her crisp uniform and tidy hair. Maybe someone had noticed something and Patsy was trying to keep her distance. Or maybe… maybe she just didn’t like Delia anymore. 

The thought made her sad. What if it was true? It’s not like she could ask right then and there. She and Patsy were both swamped with work and it didn’t seem like something she should text her about. Maybe she would just let things play out and see what happens? To be safe, Delia followed Patsy’s lead, staying clear of her, just in case someone _was_ suspicious. Or just in case… Patsy had really gone off her. She didn’t want to do anything to make the woman uncomfortable. She didn’t want to hover. She didn’t know why she would have gone off her but she certainly didn’t want to give her any reason to really do so by making a fuss about it. 

Delia woke up that Monday morning completely miserable. Awfully congested, unable to sleep all night from a stuffy nose and sore throat, she trekked over to the hospital to check in as a patient at four in the morning to get a doctors note. She was given three days to recover and a plentiful amount of medicine to boot. When she made it back to her flat, she settled back into bed with a hot cup of tea and wrapped herself into a duvet burrito, willing herself to take her medicine regularly and nap when she could. 

Another day passed and she felt marginally better, but still completely stuffed up and exhausted. She had kept taking her medicine and read a few books she had been putting off until she had the time. She knew she could have possibly done some laundry or plates or tidied up a bit while she was stuck home but she didn’t have the energy to get off the sofa. She debated whether or not to start binge watching The Office for the upteenth time when she heard a tentative knock at her door. 

She checked the clock on the wall and it was well past supper time. Did she forget about a package she ordered? Oh god, she thought, and hoped she didn’t drunk order £100 worth of fancy knickers again. 

Delia hoisted herself up from off the sofa and clutched her dressing gown around herself, tying it off around her waist. She kicked dirty tissues out of the way as she walked the short distance from her lounge to the tiny foyer. Her head was too swarmed and fuzzy with cold medicine to peek through the glass in the door to see who was there before she swung it wide open. For a moment she couldn’t even believe her eyes as they focused on the woman of her dreams standing right there in front of her. It had to be a hallucination. 

‘Delia! Are you-‘

‘Aah!’ Delia shouted and slammed the door in Patsy's face. Hallucinations don’t talk, do they?! 

She turned around and leaned on the door, ‘Lieutenant Mount! What on earth are you doing here?!’

‘Delia, you know you don’t need to address me that way when I’m not in uniform…’ Patsy said. It almost sounded as if she felt a little dejected. 

Delia’s heart stung. They hadn’t properly talked to each other in ages, why was she being so casual? 

‘Um…’ Patsy continued shyly. Delia struggled to hear her through the door ‘You haven’t been in the last few days and… well I heard you were sick. I just thought I’d stop by and check in on you.’ 

Check in on her? Delia couldn’t believe her ears. She had thought the woman had gone off on her and now here she was standing outside her flat because… she cared? Did she miss her at work? 

Patsy continued nervously when Delia didn’t respond, ‘I, um… I brought something for you. Thought it would make you feel a little better. It might not cure your cold but I thought it would at least cheer you up a bit. Remind you of home…’ 

Delia’s heart was fluttering in her chest. She had brought her something? Slowly, she turned around and cracked open the door, exposing only one side of her face to peek down at the greasy paper wrappings in Patsy’s hands. The woman standing outside her door smiled hopefully. 

‘Is that fish and chips?’ Delia asked, and Patsy nodded. 

‘Your favorite.’ 

Delia bit her lip, eyeing the delightful treat in her crushes hands. It had been ages since she had her favorite comfort food but right now she looked completely awful. 

‘Patsy… I’m kind of a mess right now.’ 

‘I don’t care.’

‘My flat is a wreck.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘I don’t want you to catch my cold.’

‘I’m not going away, Deels,’ Patsy shrugged and unwrapped the meal in her hands, ‘we can stay out here and eat if you like,’ she popped a chip in her mouth and Delia’s stomach growled. 

‘Ugh, alright. Give me two minutes to tidy up a bit and I’ll let you in,’ she moved to shut the door, but opened it again, ‘and don’t you dare eat any of my chips!’ 

Delia closed the door. 

‘ _Your_ chips!?’

Delia opened the door. 

‘Yes! Mine. I’m sick so that means you have to be nice to me!

Delia closed the door. 

Delia opened the door and eyed Patsy suspiciously. 

‘What?’

‘I thought I heard some chip eating out here.’

‘Oh, will you hurry up!’ Patsy exclaimed in mock annoyance as Delia closed the door again. 

She suppressed a giggle as she took stock of the situation of her flat. She had this gorgeous woman waiting outside with her favorite treat and her flat and her appearance were a complete mess! She quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed the bin, scooping up used tissues and other rubbish that was lying about on the floor, the coffee table, the sofa, surfaces, and other surfaces were she carelessly threw her things. Christ, was she always this messy? How had none of this made it to the bin beforehand?! She went into the bedroom and opened her window to let in some fresh air. She fluffed her duvet, more tissues flying through the air as she did so. 

‘Iesu Mawr!’ She swore as she scooped them up. Where the fuck else were they hiding? She scanned her bedroom for anything else incriminating that could be lying about that she didn’t want Patsy to see. All clear. 

She took a peek out in the lounge, that was as good as it was going to get. 

The kitchen… well, she could just try to steer Patsy away from the kitchen. 

Delia quickly pulled her hair back into a messy bun and took a deep breath before opening the door again, this time wide enough to let Patsy through. The redhead in the other side of the door pretended to be asleep. 

‘Oh, shut up and get in here,’ Delia huffed, grasping a fistful of her shirt and pulling her into the foyer. She shut the door behind her and looked up nervously at Patsy, who was looking around, assessing her apartment. A wave of anxiety washed over her as Patsy silently took in the scene around her. She hoped she didn’t think she was a total slob. 

‘Did you paint it this color?’ Patsy finally spoke.

‘What? Yellow? Uh… yeah, I like bright colors. Makes me happy.’

Patsy looked at her walls like she was in a museum, ‘I like it. It’s not abrasive. It’s soft, and warm. I bet it looks very beautiful in the morning sun,’ she looked down at Delia, smiling, ‘Kind of like you.’ 

Delia wanted to pull her dressing gown over her face and hide. Was she seriously flirting with her right now? 

‘Um, can I get you a drink?’ Delia squeaked out. 

‘Absolutely not,’ Patsy said, placing the wrapped food in the counter next to her, ‘in fact I’ll be the one getting you a drink.’ 

‘Pats, that’s not really...,’ she trailed off as she watched the woman zoom around her kitchen, opening cupboards and drawers, shuffling around looking for whatever it was she was looking for. So much for keeping her out of there. 

Patsy suddenly turned to Delia, ‘When was the last time you had a shower?’ 

‘Beg your pardon?’

‘A shower? Did you take one today?’ 

Did she?

‘Are you saying I smell?’ Delia asked teasingly, hands in her hips. 

‘Oh, just god awful,’ Patsy said smiling. Delia knew she was joking but she brought the collar of her dressing gown to her nose anyway and sniffed. 

‘OK but seriously, do I smell? I can’t smell anything at all right now.’ 

Patsy gently grasped Delia by the shoulders and turned her around. She walked her towards the bedroom, ‘Of course you don’t smell, but I want you nice and relaxed before we settle in and eat.’

‘What, and just leave you all to yourself?’ 

‘Precisely. There’s plenty of things here to keep me occupied so take your time.’

‘Like what?! You’re not going to go in my room and touch all my things are you?’ 

‘Damn! That’s totally what I was going to do!’ Patsy grasped the bedroom doorknob and said, ‘Shower now,’ and shut the door. It clicked softly and Delia heard her footsteps padding away. 

Delia blinked feeling awfully kerfuffled. She still was unsure as to whether or not Patsy being here was a hallucination, but real or not she thought it best to listen to her. 

Delia showered, and it was relaxing. She took her time. She washed her hair, she shaved her legs, she spent more time than usual scrubbing herself with the lavender soap. She stood there for some time and just let the hot water wash over her until her mind and muscles were well relaxed. Eventually she remembered Patsy was in her flat and she had fish and chips waiting for her, and she turned off the water and towelled off. 

Upon opening the door to her room, her eyes rested upon the freshly folded pyjamas on her bed. The bed that was also freshly made. With clean sheets and a clean duvet cover. She scanned her room and saw that the tops of her chest of drawers were freshly dusted and anything that had been sitting on top had been neatly stacked or put away. 

What the… did Patsy do all this? Delia clutched her towel to her chest, stomping across her room and swung her bedroom door open, revealing a suddenly flustered Patsy sitting in her lounge on the sofa, reading a book from the shelf. Delia quickly scanned the room to see that all surfacetops had been wiped clean. All rubbish had been put away and anything left laying out had been either stacked neatly or tucked away somewhere. Her fish and chips dinner was plated on the coffee table with two saucers that looked like malt vinegar and tartar sauce. A glass of water and a steaming hot cup of tea with honey was placed next to it. 

‘Patsy!’ She exclaimed, and the woman jumped from her spot on the sofa, ‘Did you do all of this while I was showering!?’ 

Patsy blinked and turned red, uttering nothing more than an ‘Umm...' as Delia took a few steps towards the kitchen to find all plates had been cleared and the washing machine was humming quietly. The surface tops had been wiped down and sanitized, the floor had been mopped, and everything had the faint scent of bleach. Delia looked back at Patsy mildly annoyed and amused. 

‘Really, now. You must think I’m a total wreck.’

‘No I don’t!’ Patsy said from behind the book she was holding. She had brought it over her face to cover her eyes, ‘I promise. I just really like cleaning.’

‘You do?’ OK, now _that_ was hard to believe. Cleaning your own space was one thing, but cleaning someone else's flat? 

‘Yeah… I find that cleaning clears my head. I actually find it relaxing and I just… I don’t know. You’re sick so I just wanted to do something to help out a little.’ 

Delia was taken aback. Ok, so maybe she was serious about the cleaning.

‘Oh… well. Thank you.’

‘Um, you’re welcome.’ 

Delia looked around once more, hands on her hips, ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen any flat this clean. This is impressive, actually.’ 

‘Delia?’ 

‘Hmm?’

‘Can you put some clothes on please?’ Patsy said shyly, face still behind that book. Delia didn’t need to see her face to know it was bright red. 

‘Oh. Right.’ Delia looked down at herself, fist clenched over her chest holding her towel together. She disappeared back into her room and threw in the pyjamas that were left for her on the bed. It was a matching soft t-shirt and boxer short set that was by coincidence Delia’s favorite. 

She quickly ran a comb through her wet hair before reemerging in the lounge, where Patsy was patiently waiting for her. She had helped herself to her own cup of tea and was sitting with her legs crossed on the sofa. 

Delia sat down on the other side of the sofa, her body turned towards Patsy. 

‘Um, thank you, for this.’

Patsy smiled and brought the plate of food to Delia, ‘No need to thank me. Eat up.’ 

‘I feel silly eating this by myself. Will you have some too?’ 

Patsy nodded and happily obliged, ‘So I couldn’t help but notice while I was cleaning the stack of textbooks on maths and biology,’ Patsy inquired as she popped a chip in her mouth, ‘Are you taking classes?’ 

Delia nodded, ‘Starting uni next term in the evenings. I’m… I want to get a nursing degree.’ 

‘Really?’ Patsy looked really happy to hear this. 

‘Yes… I figured it was time to get some sort of training under my belt. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do when I joined the army, but working in the medical field these last few months, well. Really, seeing you in action has kind of motivated me to pursue it.’

Patsy scoffed, ‘Oh, watching me run around like mad covered in blood and god knows what else really does it for you, huh?’ 

Delia laughed, ‘I mean, more like helping people. Plus, I don’t know, the admin work is important but I don’t want it to be my career. Nor the army. When my enlistment is up is like to leave with a degree. At least to help find a job when I get out.’

‘I really admire you for that. It’s a lot of work working full time and going to school. Do you think you’ll need help studying?’ Patsy asked, then faultered, ‘Er, I mean, only if you want it… I have no idea what kind of student you are, for all I know you could teach me a thing or two about studying.’ 

Delia chuckled, ‘I hardly doubt that. I was a terrible student. I mean, I’m not stupid, just lazy.’

‘Really? I wouldn’t have gathered that from your work ethic.’ 

‘Well, the army has been the kick in the arse I needed to get my shit together. Plus, with someone like Skeletor lurking about and a beautiful woman like you around, motivation to stay busy and get my work done well is plentiful.’

Patsy smiled shyly from behind her mug of tea. 

Delia took another bite of her dinner before continuing, ‘I always hated school… wanted to drop out after my GCSE’s, but Mam begged me to stay in and do my A-levels. So I did and they were terrible because I just didn’t give a shite.’

‘Why was that? Do you mind my asking?’ 

‘No, not at all. I just didn’t like it. I had friends and got on well with others. It wasn’t a bullying thing or depression or anything like that. I suppose I just had a lot of energy and would have rather played footy all day or been outside working with my hands or something. Oh, and then there’s my Mam,’ Delia shook her head, ‘she and I were always butting heads when I was a teenager. The woman married too young and had too many children. She was a great Mam and knew how to parent us well when we were kids but she was horrible with us as teenagers. She still thinks of us as little kids, it’s infuriating. I was glad to get out of there when I was 18.’

Patsy sighed and bit her lip, ‘Don’t be too harsh. I’m sure she means well,’ she took a sip of tea and continued, ‘What did you do when you left?’

‘Spent two years traveling. Backpacked around South America, China, Central Asia… and then eventually I found my way back to Wales and said to myself, OK, I’m ready to be an adult now,’ Patsy giggled at that as Delia crossed her arms and looked up in thought, ‘I think I needed to get that wanderlust out of my system. When I returned I visited a few schoolmates of mine who had never left. The lot of them were still living at home, doing drugs, working shitty part time jobs,’ Delia shook her head and took a sip of tea, ‘I didn’t want to fall into that. I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I needed to do something, so I looked into the army, and, well, here I am.’

‘Deels… I didn’t know that about you.’

‘What?’

‘Just… what you were like back then. About your Mam. About your travels. You’re a really interesting person, you know that?’ 

Delia blushed. She didn’t think she was all that special, but she smiled anyway, ‘Oh, well thank you. I…’ she trailed off, finding herself babbling on bashfully for a moment, ‘I feel a little self conscious about it really. Especially around you.’ 

Patsy took a bite of her chip, ‘Oh? Why’s that?’

Delia rubbed her neck nervously, ‘Well… I don’t know. You’re a posh Londoner with a good background. I just figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with an uneducated country girl like me. I mean… you’re a doctor and an officer and I’m just a grunt. I sometimes wonder why you even give me the time of day…’ 

Delia looked up to see Patsy with a rather hurt expression. 

‘Do you really think so little of yourself? And of me?’ 

Delia waived her hands in front of her frantically, ‘Oh, god no, I’m sorry, it’s my own prejudice that I need to get over. I’m sorry. I know you’re not like that… I’ll um, I’ll shut up and enjoy this lovely dinner now,’ she said picking up a chip. 

Delia sighed and held her head in her head, covering her eyes, ‘Please ignore me. Please don’t let my comments ruin this evening. It was going so well…’ 

‘Delia, you haven’t ruined anything,’ Patsy leaned over and placed a hand on Delia’s knee, causing her to look up. 

Patsy smiled back at her with kind eyes, ‘Deels, I really admire you, you know that?’

‘You do?’

‘Yes. From what you told me… your traveling, enlisting, going back to school… it sounds like you’re a fiercely independent person who is doing what she wants with her own life. I really like that about you. I’ve always just done what others have expected of me,’ she sighed and sipped her tea, ‘from where I’m sitting, I feel like it should be you who should be an officer. Not me. I’d certainly follow you into battle,’ she winked and Delia giggled. 

‘And anyway, I learned a long time ago that all people are precious in their own certain way, even if we can’t see it right away,’ Patsy suddenly seemed dour as she swirled her tea in her cup, but she quickly recovered with a smile, ‘I can’t speak for other posh Londoners, but I certainly try to see past a persons accent and background to see them for who they are. I know you do the same.’ 

Delia gave a tight smile and nodded, still feeling like an ass for even mentioning anything. 

Patsy leaned back on the sofa and took another sip of her tea, ‘I’ll have to take you out for a drink sometime and get the extended version of your story.’ 

Delia bit her lip. She wanted to tease and say, ‘like a date?’ but held her tongue. Instead she just said, ‘Sounds like fun. Talking about myself is one of my favorite things to do.’ 

Patsy smiled. 

‘So what about you then?’ Delia asked.

‘Hmm?’

‘Did you ever have any angst ridden teenage fights with your parents or were you a little angel?’

Patsy shrugged and looked towards the ceiling, seemingly thinking of her next words carefully. 

‘Well, it’s no matter now I suppose,’ Delia quipped, blowing on her tea, ‘whatever spats you got into when you were a teenager. You being a doctor and an officer now, I’m sure they’re over the moon with pride for you,’ Delia finished casually and sipped her tea. 

Patsy scratched her cheek nervously and forced a smile, ‘Well, they show their pride for me the best way they can, I suppose.’ 

Patsy stood and grabbed the empty plate between them, their meal reduced to crumbs battered flour and salt. 

‘More tea?’ She asked, and Delia looked up at her rather stunned. 

‘Um… yes, that would be grand, thanks.’ 

Delia’s eyes followed Patsy’s figure to the kitchen before the woman disappeared behind the wall. Delia turned back around with a sinking feeling in her stomach as she listened to Patsy wash their plate and fill the kettle with water. Alright, mental note to not talk about parents or family with this one. Perhaps she had a bad relationship with them and didn’t want to discuss it. Though, based on her accent Delia wondered if her parents had just sent her off to boarding schools and never visited. Maybe there was little love between them. Perhaps resentment from a cold upbringing? Maybe they knew she was gay and disowned her? The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to ask. Instead, Delia sipped the last of her cold tea and decided to let that conversation happen naturally, if it ever did. 

‘You feeling any better?’ Patsy asked when she returned. She placed a fresh mug of tea for Delia on the coffee table and sat back down on the sofa. 

‘Oh, yes,’ Delia gave a small smile, ‘Im feeling loads better actually. I think my stuffy nose is finally starting to go away.’ 

‘Good,’ Patsy blew on her tea. 

‘Do you want to watch a movie?’ Delia blurted out. The suggestion was meant to keep her from asking Patsy any questions she wasn’t ready to answer, but she also didn’t want to redhead to leave. 

Patsy blinked at the abrupt suggestion, ‘Oh, um, sure.’

‘Uh,’ Delia blushed, ‘I mean, unless you have other plans or something.’ 

Patsy smirked, ‘Delia just what do you think I get up to on Tuesday evenings?’ 

Delia shrugged, ‘I don’t know. You’re smart and attractive. I figured you’d have a hot date at a book club or something.’ 

‘A book club,’ Patsy repeated, as though the suggestion was absurd, ‘not where I would think to pick up ladies but that’s not a bad idea.’ She closed her eyes and leaned back into her seat, grinning as she brought her tea to her mouth, ‘So happy to know you hold my social life in such high regard, though.’ 

‘So no hot dates on Tuesdays? What do you get up to then?’ 

Patsy sipped her tea and shrugged, ‘Make dinner. Watch the news. Watch question time and yell at the tv. Maybe listen to music and read a book.’ 

‘Oh, so you’re just like a regular person.’ 

‘Sorry to disappoint.’ 

‘I’m not interrupting your ‘yelling at the tv’ time, am I?’ Delia sipped her tea. 

‘It depends on what you want to watch.’ 

‘What would you like to watch?’ 

‘Your choice, Welshie.’ 

Delia almost spit out her tea from laughing at the nickname. She coughed instead. 

‘Well, Fried Green Tomatoes showed up on my suggested queue on Netflix. Have you ever seen that one?’ 

Patsy looked back at Delia as if she were holding a basket of puppies, ‘Oh, I love that movie!’ 

‘Well that was easy! Usually I flip through everything and spend an hour deciding what to watch,’ Delia said, turning on the television and booting up Netflix, ‘I typically end up falling asleep before I even choose anything.’

‘Good thing I’m here.’ 

‘You really are an angel.’ 

Patsy snickered at the comment and Delia settled in while the movie started. She didn’t protest when Patsy moved to wrap her up in a throw, tucking her in snugly and brushing her hair out of her eyes before settling on the sofa shoulder to shoulder with her. Delia also certainly didn’t protest when halfway through the movie, Patsy rested her head on her shoulder and Delia was able to smell that flowery shampoo again. It was almost like they were on a real date. Dinner and a movie and feeling much too nervous to make any moves. Delia sighed, savoring the lighthearted feeling of having Patsy close and all to herself for the night. 

Delia smiled and drank her tea.

* * *

Delia swirled her wine in her glass as she, Hennen, and Taylor chatted in the kitchen of their shared coworker Bennett. She was a friendly girl from Yorkshire, tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, who was easy enough to get along with. She was on the medical admin team with Delia but was friends with a wide range of people. There were plenty of enlisted and officers here alike, mingling and drinking. Bennett had been tasked with deployment and thought she would throw a little thing before she left. Most of the party was in the lounge where a loud game of Mario Party was enthusiastically played. Others played drinking games out on the balcony with cheap beer. Delia and her friends weren’t interested in either at the moment and chose to stay together in the kitchen away from the noise. 

Delia sipped her wine with an eye on the door. Her heart felt like it would flip in her chest whenever it creaked open with a new party goer, but always landed with disappointment when the particular redhead she most wanted to see wasn't the one coming through the door. 

Delia had done nothing but think of Patsy these past few days since she had stopped by her flat. To come over unannounced like that with food, clean her flat, stay with her and take care of her? That has to be her love language. That had to have been her silent way of telling Delia she still had feelings for her. 

And this. This distance between the two of them. This hiding the fact that they were even more than acquaintances. Over what. A made up power structure? Where was the conflict of interest when Patsy wasn’t even her direct supervisor? No. This was enough. Delia was done wasting time holding off on someone she knew she could be happy with, someone she could make happy too. She had to tell Patsy how she felt. She had to ask her, too. She had to know if she wanted to take that next step with her. 

And if she didn’t… Well, Delia didn’t know how she would react. 

The door clicked open again and Delia’s heart lodged in her throat. Patsy was here. She watched the redhead greet Bennett and scan the room for people she recognized. Her eyes eventually landed on Delia, who smiled at her. Patsy returned the smile with a wink.

That was a god sign! Patsy was happy to see her here! Delia tried in vain to listen to Hennen blather on about her brother back in Scotland and his teenage antics driving her parents mad, but her eyes followed Patsy as she went about the room greeting the other officers she knew. Delia decided to let her be, for a few moments anyway, so no one grew suspicious. 

Taylor followed Delia’s gaze. 

‘Isn’t that Lieutenant Mount?’ she asked. 

Delia blinked, ‘Hmm? What about her?’ 

‘Oh, she’s the one you run with all the time,’ Hennen pushed Delia playfully. 

‘We just pace together is all,’ Delia quipped. 

‘Hey, you think she’s gay?’ Taylor asked in a hushed tone. 

‘Yeah Delia,’ Hennen said, tossing her long brown hair over her shoulder, ‘is she seeing anyone?’

‘How should I know?!’ Delia asked incredulously. 

‘Wait, why are you asking? Is she your type?’ Taylor asked, rather hurt. 

‘Well, I mean, she is very pretty. I don’t usually go for other femmes but she seems kind of like a tomboy. Bet she has a wardrobe full of flannel.’ 

Delia gulped down her wine. 

‘Oh, I see,’ Taylor said, crossing her arms and sounding dejected, ‘you go for the type that look like they live in the woods, then, do you?’ she pouted. 

Hennen wrapped her arms around Taylor and brushed her long fringe behind her ear, ‘Aw, sweetie, you know I have a soft spot for emo girls like you.’ 

The two shared a kiss and Delia blanched, ‘Ugh, you two are gross. I’m going to see who else is here.’ 

She left her friends in the kitchen and walked through the lounge behind the rowdy crowd playing their video games. She spotted Patsy on the other side of the lounge chatting with Captain Perry, a drink in her hand. She watched for a moment while Patsy smiled and nodded and sipped her drink, no doubt trying to be polite while the captain talked her ear off about cars. Delia made her way towards the balcony, sliding the glass door open so she could get through. The boys who were playing their drinking games were filtering back inside to get more beer. After a few minutes, Delia was left alone, and she leaned on the railing looking up at the night sky. She heard the door slide open behind her and was happy to see Patsy coming out to join her. She watched as Patsy pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket as she shut the door. 

‘You know, it really amazes me you’re able to suck down a pack of those a day and run like you do without hacking up a lung.’ 

Patsy shrugged, pulling out a cigarette with her teeth and lighting it, ‘Lucky I suppose,’ the cigarette bobbed up and down between her lips as she spoke. She took a good long drag before she placed it between her two fingers. Delia shook her head and crossed her arms, thinking there was no other woman on earth she would ever find sexy smoking a cigarette

‘Would you like one?’ she asked, exhaling a long line of white smoke. 

Delia shook her head and leaned back against the railing,

‘Good. Don’t ever start. This is a bad habit that’s a holdover from my wild youth, and I haven’t the gumption to give it up yet.’ 

Delia shrugged, ‘It doesn’t bother me at all. Reminds me of my Grandma,’ she said, leaning her elbow on the railing and winking. 

Patsy stuck out her tongue in response to Delia’s teasing. 

‘I’m glad you’re feeling better,’ she said, ‘I missed seeing your smile around the hospital. And hearing your smartass remarks.’ 

Delia smiled bashfully as she felt her heart flutter happily in her chest. All signs were pointing to it being the right moment for this conversation. She took a deep breath and found her courage. 

‘I was wondering if I could talk to you.’ 

‘Oh?’ Patsy asked, looking back through the door at the party. Delia followed her gaze and it looked as if no one was headed their way. The coast was clear. 

‘Yes... Pats… I just wanted to tell you that I really like you.’ 

Patsy smiled shyly, and Delia could make out a blush spread across her cheeks even given the faint light, ‘I know… I really like you, too.’ 

Delia wanted to burst out into a grin, but instead she focused all her energy on holding onto the railing for dear life. 

‘Well then… Patsy, what are we doing?’ She paused and looked up at the redhead, who was listening intently, her cigarette perched between her two fingers and held close to her mouth. 

‘I mean, we have feelings for each other. We want to be together… or at least, I know I want to be with you. There’s so much more to what our relationship can be and I…’ Delia had to look away, ‘this is just so silly. How things are between us right now. How we have to pretend we aren’t feeling what we’re feeling.’ 

‘Deels…’ Patsy started. She flicked her cigarette with her thumb and bits of ash fell over the balcony. 

‘No, let me just... I know it’s against the rules, but fuck, Patsy, I’ve never felt the way about anyone like I feel for you. Why are we letting something as arbitrary as our ranks get in the way of us being happy together?’

Delia watched as Patsy’s brows furrowed in thought, her lips tensely wrapping around her cigarette and inhaling a long, low drag of smoke. 

‘We’re both adults Patsy… If… if we decide to move forward and give this a shot, I mean. I know there's risks, but I’m fine keeping our relationship to ourselves. Really, no one is going to care what we get up to behind closed doors.’ 

‘No, Delia, please,’ Patsy shoved her hands in her pockets and tried to pace. The balcony was so small the best she could do was walk in circles a few times while she puffed the cigarette between her lips, little clouds of smoke appearing above her head like a steam engine. After a moment of thought, she finally took her cigarette from her mouth and exhaled a long line of smoke before speaking again, ‘It’s too risky,’ she shook her head, ‘we have both of our careers to think about-’ 

Delia cut her off, ‘Patsy, I don’t care about my army career! I don’t even want to reenlist when my time comes! If something happens I would gladly be the one to take the fall-’

‘Then what!?’ she snapped, and Delia was taken aback by her sudden anger, ‘You would get sent to another base on the other side of the planet probably? Dishonorably discharged?! All the work and effort you put into making it through basic and tech school down the drain? No benefits, no money for school… and then you would never be able to see me because I would be here, or deployed, and you would be, what, back in Wales? Would it be worth it then?!’

‘Yes, damn it, Patsy!’ Delia wanted to shout, but the best she could so was whisper harsly through clenched teeth, ‘I’m trying to tell you, I…’ she wanted to say I love you but couldn’t. Not like this, ‘I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. If we’re caught and punished then I’ll happily be raked over the coals for you-‘ 

Patsy cut her off again, ‘Delia, listen to me,’ she leaned in, her voice low and serious, ‘I’m telling you. I’m. Not. Worth. It.’ 

Patsy’s breathing was heavy as she spoke, her eyes wide and serious as she gazed intensely at Delia. She clenched her teeth and Delia watched as the muscles in her jaw contracted. It seemed the Lieutenant was trying to keep it together. 

Delia looked down, biting her lip in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. So, this was her answer. Patsy was rejecting her. She was saying no. Delia’s grip on the railing tightened before she let go.

‘Alright,’ Delia said quietly, letting out a shaky breath. ‘Alright. If this is how it needs to be then so be it. I won’t bring it up ever again.’ 

She turned to leave, barely able to keep herself composed when she felt Patsy grasp her arm. 

‘Deels, wait...’ 

Delia shrugged her off, her gaze so fierce that Patsy took a step back, ‘It’s Corporal Busby, Lieutenant. Don’t want people thinking we’re too familiar with one another.’

Delia opened the sliding door and closed it behind her without looking back, leaving Patsy alone on the balcony. Thankfully everyone in the lounge was too engrossed with the game on the television to take notice. She strode through towards the front door and found Bennett in the kitchen with her friends. They were all standing around chatting with plates of something in their hands. 

‘Good luck with your deployment Bennett,’ Delia said with as little emotion as possible as she grasped the doorknob. Taylor called to her, holding out a plate and fork. 

‘Hey Busby! Don’t you want some cake?’

Delia opened the front door and growled, ‘Fuck cake,’ before slamming it shut behind her, leaving her friends looking at each other thoroughly confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, what is a little pupcake without a bit of angst, huh? Oh, Patsy, when are you going to learn to just accept that you and Delia are meant to be? 
> 
> As always, special thanks for habitsandbicycles for proofreading. 
> 
> Part 2 next week. I promise it'll be worth the wait. Stay tuned!
> 
> [Run](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Pupcake-Interlude-Part-1-1-746502595) (this is more a scribble than a doodle but the faces they're making as they cross the finish line cracks me up every time I look at this).  
> [Hair flip](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Pupcake-Interlude-Part-1-2-746502810)  
> [Enough](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Pupcake-Interlude-Part-1-3-746502937)
> 
> So many opportunities for doodles this chapter, but I was way too busy to sit and draw. Aw well, maybe next week I can find the time to sketch out the thrilling conclusion to this break from #LucnVal


	12. Pupcake Interlude - Part 2 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part II of the Pupcake interlude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up! *kicks empty bottles of Merlot out of the way* This story finally lives up to it's rating! Would not recommend reading in front of parents or children or room mates or whomever you'll feel uncomfortable in front of reading smut (and if you don't particularly enjoy smut in general then what the heck are you doing reading this story? Turn back now! Everyone else, enjoy!)
> 
> Unlike the Patsy in superbanana's Old Tides, my Patsy has all her fingers in this story and puts them to good use!

Delia left the party angry and heartbroken, only breaking down after she was a street away from her own flat. She felt hopeless and despondent and crawled into bed when she got home and cried, clutching her pillow close to her chest as she sobbed. She felt empty and hollow. She felt delicate, as if she was about to crumble into a million pieces and blow away with a gust of wind. She hated herself for caring as much as she did. She felt so foolish for thinking Patsy liked her enough to take that risk with her. For her. But Delia had been wrong. She thought that she should have gone with her earlier hunch that the Lieutenant didn’t like her as much as she liked the Lieutenant. That her coming over the other night was just a fluke. 

As her crying subsided and she drifted off to sleep, she debated whether or not she should have said anything at all. To have kept her feelings to herself and to carry on as they had been. She certainly wouldn’t be feeling as horrible as she did right now if she had just kept her mouth shut. Then again, she knew the truth now, as much as she didn’t want it to be so, she was glad she finally knew. Delia closed her eyes and decided that it had been worth it. She certainly wasn’t happy now, but she had said nothing, she still wouldn’t have been happy, always wondering what if. She wanted more from Patsy than the woman was willing to give, and it would have come to this sooner or later. With a heavy heart, Delia resolved that she did the right thing, she knew the truth, and she knew she would need to move on.

On Monday, Delia was busy. She stayed as far away as possible from the Lieutenant while they worked out as a squadron that morning. She found the running team captain and quit there on the spot, making some excuse about shin splints. She sought out her supervisor when her shift began, and volunteered for swing shift, night shift, any shift that wasn’t Patsy’s shift. 

She couldn’t bare to see the woman anymore after she poured her heart out and she still said no. Patsy said she wasn’t worth it, but Delia thought she was. She would always think Patsy was worth it but she needed to get away from her. If Patsy didn’t want what she wanted she wasn’t going to press her for it. She was going to move on and that meant giving herself as little opportunity as possible even just to lay eyes on the redhead, to know she was physically in the same space. She felt as if she wouldn’t be able to get through her shifts knowing she was there. 

A few days passed, and while she pressed her supervisor for a different shift, her request was not granted. Delia spent her time on shift with her head down, busying herself with her work, and ignoring any sign of the doctor. She flat out stood up and walked away when the Lieutenant popped by during a moment of free time to chat casually with the other admin staff. She would not look up at her when the Lieutenant pointedly asked Delia for a patients file. She ignored any requests for volunteers when the Lieutenant needed a hand. 

Delia walked around during her shifts a hollow shell of the person she once was. Her dour mood was hardly unnoticed by her closest friend Baldy, who confronted her by Thursday once and for all to come clean and tell her what was up. They regularly convened at the hospital dining hall for lunch when their schedules allowed. That day Delia poked at her buttered noodles with her head in her hand, barely eating her lunch like she had for the past few days. 

‘Busby what the hell is going on with you? You’re typically a bright ball of sunshine but you’ve been as moody as Taylor’s haircut. What gives?’ Baldy asked, taking a bite of her cheese toastie. 

‘I keep telling you it’s nothing.’ 

‘Bullshit. What happened? Did your dog die or something?’

Delia stabbed at her noodles, ‘I don’t have a dog.’

‘Well maybe you should get one. It might cheer you up at least,’ Baldy quipped as she dunked her sandwich into some tomato soup. 

Delia scoffed, shaking her head. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. At least a puppy would love her unconditionally. 

‘Seriously though. What’s the matter.’

‘I can’t talk about it.’

‘Why?’ 

‘I just can’t alright? Please stop asking.’

‘Is it about Lieutenant Mount?’ 

Delia stopped stabbing at her pasta and glared at her friend, ‘...no.’

‘Liar,’ she quipped, finishing off her sandwich, ‘don’t think I haven’t noticed you avoiding her like the plague.’

‘I have not.’

‘Shin splints?’

‘It’s a legitimate thing.’

Baldy rolled her eyes, ‘I bet your arse is really jealous of all the shit that’s coming out of your mouth right now. And I know you two had a fight at the party.’

‘How would you know? You weren’t even there!’ 

Baldy leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms, ‘Taylor said you were completely fine when you got to the party and then stormed out after chatting with the Lieutenant. Your attitude did a complete 180. You even turned down cake?’

‘It was coconut.’ 

‘So I’m right? You two did have a fight?’ 

Delia huffed and shifted in her seat uncomfortably. 

‘Look, I know you’re trying but the way you’re behaving is giving you away. Even Hennen has noticed a change in you and that girl is too vain to notice anything past her own damn nose.’

Delia sloughed in her seat, ‘Who else knows?’ 

‘That you have a thing for you know who? I suppose just me apparently since you’ve basically just admitted it.’

‘God damn it Baldy,’ Delia covered her face with her hands, ‘please don’t say anything to anyone. I swear to god nothing has ever happened between us but if word got out… if rumors started…’ 

‘Busby, look, I know. You’re safe. It’s just… what happened? What did she do?’ 

Delia shook her head, ‘No… she didn’t do anything. And I mean, that’s the problem, but she’s not at fault here. It’s me. I just had to go and fall in love with someone who was completely unavailable.’ 

Baldy sighed, ‘Oh.’ She scratched her head in thought, ‘Wait a minute, are you telling me she’s straight?’ 

Delia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, ‘That’s neither here nor there at this point so far as I’m concerned. I told her how I felt and she said no. End of story. I’ve got to get over it and move on, but you know…’

‘It’s hard to put a stop to your feelings?’

‘Yeah…’ Delia trailed off, picking at her napkin, ‘this parts always the worst, isn’t it?’ 

‘The heartbreak?’ Baldy shrugged, ‘Yeah, been there before, but you know, time heals all wounds, yadda yadda…’

‘Oh you’re a real help.’ 

‘Well, it does!’ Baldy scratched her head again, ‘Sorry, I’m kind of awful at this. How about we try and get to the club this weekend? Drink our problems away?’ 

Delia pursed her lips and shook her head. Driving all the way up to Scissor Sisters to play pool and not hit on anyone like what usually happened did not sound appealing to her at all. 

‘Why don’t you download one of those dating apps? Maybe see what's out there, you know? Go out with someone who actually wants to give you what you’re looking for?’ 

Delia sighed, leaning back in her chair, ‘I don’t know…’

‘Hey, in my experience, the best way to get over one woman is to get on top of another one. Or two, heh.’ 

Delia scowled.

‘Hey are you gonna eat that? We’re running tomorrow and I need to carbo load.’ 

Delia rolled her eyes and pushed her tray of pasta towards Baldy, who heartily dug in with her fork.

* * *

Later that evening Delia lay in bed mulling over the idea of trying to go out with other women to help her get over Patsy. She was a bit of an emotional mess at the moment, but she reckoned a date with a pretty girl might at least cheer her up. Get her mind off Patsy for an evening at least. Hopefully. Her heart sank in her chest and ached like it had been for nearly a week. It hurt. It hurt so much. 

Delia screwed her eyes shut, willing the pain away. Ok, enough is enough. She needed to try. 

She downloaded the dating app and made a profile. 

The next morning, Delia awoke to several messages in her inbox, all of girls who had liked her profile, some sending messages wanting to chat. Some just said ‘hi’, others actually read her profile and asked her engaging questions she could actually respond to. During her slow periods at work that day, she was chatting away with a few of them, reading profiles and sending messages back and forth. By the time she left work, she already had a date for that evening! 

The weekend was a blur of chatting with other women and making plans. Delia’s whole weekend was spent going on dates. The one on Friday night was followed by a Saturday lunch with another, followed by drinks and a walk around a lovely bookshop with another woman that evening, and then a Sunday brunch with another! 

It wasn’t serious. It wasn’t dramatic. Hell, it was fun! Delia liked meeting new people. She liked the attention. She was getting the validation she needed that there were people out there who were, indeed, available, and actually wanted to date her. The days passed and she was feeling better, grabbing moments during her shifts to chat with more people from the app. Another weekend came and went and she went on three more dates, each with different women. Nothing clicked romantically and she didn’t like anyone enough yet to end their dates with a kiss or plans for a second date, but she was having a lot of fun going out nonetheless. 

By the time Monday afternoon rolled around again, Hennen stopped by Delia’s desk and tapped her fingernails annoyingly on the countertop. 

‘On your phone again I see, Busby.’

Delia put her phone down and smiled innocently.

‘You’ve put off plans to hang with me and Taylor twice now. Busy weekend?’

Delia bit her lip, batting her eyelashes, ‘Why, Hennen, whatever are you insinuating?’ 

‘Come now Busby, you’ve been smiling like a fool and in a good mood all week. What’s her name?’ 

Delia giggled knowingly, taking in a huge breath of air before replying, ‘Petra, Karin, Martina, Emma, Gabrielle, Monika, Ilse, and coming up this Friday is Sabine.’

Hennen looked back at Delia with wide eyes, her jaw hanging open, ‘Whoa, Busby! No wonder you’ve had a stupid grin on your face. If I had that many girlfriends I’d be pretty happy too.’ 

‘Shh!’ Delia laughed and looked around, ‘No, silly, I’m just dating. We go out for coffee or walk around the park and talk about books and movies and stuff.’ 

‘Yeah, But my goodness, so many women. You're quite the hot commodity, Busby.’ 

Delia leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs and smiling smugly, ‘Yup. Nothing but facts, there.’ 

‘Never the same woman twice, hmm?’

‘I’m keeping my options open.’

‘So I suppose you’re busy Friday evening then?’ 

‘Yeah, I’m talking with this really cute blonde. Thinking of grabbing drinks and then seeing a local band play at a club nearby.’

Delia and Hennen both turned their heads at the sound of a shoe squeaking against the linoleum floor. Delia spotted a tuft of red hair disappear around the corner, the door leading to the examination rooms slammed shut. 

‘Was that the Lieutenant?’ Hennen asked. 

‘Who cares,’ Delia mumbled, turning back to Hennen and forcing a smile, ‘So, what’s up?’ 

‘Nothing, just haven’t seen you in a bit. Thought we could all get together and grab a pizza or something. Watch a movie.’ 

‘Sure,’ Delia smiled earnestly this time, ‘maybe Saturday if I don’t have a hot date.’

‘The only hot date I’m looking forward to is with an anchovy and pineapple pizza.’ 

Delia blanched. 

‘Sheesh,’ Hennen continued, ignoring Delia’s reaction to her choice of pizza toppings, ‘you know maybe I should try finding women on one of these apps. Which one do you use?’ 

‘Not telling. Also don’t you and Taylor kind of have a thing going?’ 

Hennen shrugged, ‘Yeah, but it’s casual.’

‘Does she know that?’

‘Uhh...’

‘Because I think she likes you a lot.’ 

‘Oh,’ Hennen stared off into space for a moment and Delia watched as the woman’s eyes glazed over, marveling at her expression while the gears turned in her head. ‘That would explain a lot,’ she said slowly. 

Delia rolled her eyes, ‘Yes well it’s been painfully obvious to everyone but you it seems.’

The phone ringing on Delia’s desk ended the conversation between the two and Hennen flitted off back to her office while Delia took the call.

* * *

A few days later Delia was walking with Taylor to the dining hall when they were stopped in the hall by Captain Perry. The officer had his hands full with a pile of manilla envelopes and papers. 

‘Have either of you seen Lieutenant Mount? I checked the back rooms and her office and she’s nowhere to be found.’

‘Have you tried looking outside in the smoking area? She’s been out there every time I’ve gone out for a quick fag,’ Taylor said. 

‘Ah, thanks Taylor, I’ll check there,’ he hustled off shuffling the paperwork in his arms from one hand to the other. 

‘Do you know what’s going on with the Lieutenant?’ Taylor asked Delia as they continued walking 

Delia looked incredulous, ‘No. And why would I?’

‘Sorry, I thought you two were chummy with each other. Figured you would know what’s going on.’

‘Well, we’re not…’ Delia bit her lip, her curiosity had been sparked, ‘What makes you think there’s something going on?’ 

Taylor shrugged, sighing, ‘I don’t know. Like I said, every time I go out there she’s chain smoking and pacing around. Something’s stressing her out. Maybe the workload is finally getting to her, being the only doctor on shift and all.’ 

‘Yeah, maybe,’ Delia replied, and she was thankful that was the end of that conversation.

* * *

Friday evening, Delia found herself freshly showered and blow drying her wet hair, looking forward to her date with Sabine. She was wrapped in a towel and still trying to decide what to wear. The rain pounding down on the roof outside hinted that she should wear something that could withstand the weather, but the humidity made her just want to throw on a flowy dress. 

There was a crack of lightning and the lights flickered inside her tiny bathroom, followed by the low rumbling of thunder in the distance. The hairdryer in her hand groaned and sputtered. Delia hit it on the sink a few times and it came back to life. 

‘Come on you ruddy thing, don’t fail me now,’ she said as she went back to drying her hair and daydreaming about the cute blonde she was going to meet up with. She looked good in that leather jacket she wore in her profile picture. Delia hoped that she wore it to their date this evening. She had a really cute smile, too, and seemed tall and lanky, kind of like Taylor, but different. She had a really pretty face, too. Really the only other person she could think of that was more attractive was… 

‘Gah, no,’ Delia grit her teeth and scowled at herself in the mirror, ‘stop thinking about her.’ 

There was another crack of lightning, louder this time, and the power went out. Delia’s hair dryer died and she was left in the dark with only the sound of the rain padding against the tiny window to keep her company. 

‘Fucking shit,’ she swore, throwing down the dryer and exiting the bathroom. There was enough light left in the day to see, but the grey rain clouds made it quite dark in her flat. She opened the windows to let what light in she could, walking around her flat and lighting a candle or two in each room. She had just blown out the last match for a candle in the lounge when there was a light knock on the door. 

Delia looked down at herself, only in her towel, ‘Uh…’ she stuttered, panicked, ‘Just a moment!’

She raced back to the bedroom and threw open her wardrobe, quickly sifting through hangers and scanning her clothing for anything simple she could throw on. She found a light summer dress, black with little yellow sunflowers, and threw it over her head. It was low cut and the hem rested mid thigh. She heard whomever was at the door knock again and she decided to forego knickers for the sake of time. 

Delia opened the door to see Patsy, sopping wet and looking rather pathetic, despite the timid smile on her face. She simply wore a short sleeved top and jeans with trainers, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her fringe and loose hairs were completely stuck to her forehead and neck from having been out in the rain. 

‘Um… hey,’ she eked out and Delia blinked. 

Delia couldn’t believe her eyes. The tight, uncomfortable feeling she felt every time she thought of Patsy gripped her chest at the sight of her. 

Delia let out a sigh, shaking her head, ‘Patsy… what the fuck are you doing here?’ 

Patsy nervously rubbed the back of her neck, ‘Oh, you know, I was just… around and thought I would pop in to see how you were doing.’ 

Delia scoffed, ‘Patsy seriously…’

Patsy gave Delias appearance a once over. She licked her lips, her eyebrows furrowing, ‘Are you going out?’

Delia blinked. Her lips forming a tense line, challenging, ‘I am.’

‘On a date?’

‘Yes. What do you care?’ 

‘I care a lot, actually.’

‘Why?!’ Delia exclaimed, exasperated, ‘Why should you? You made it perfectly clear at the party that you weren’t interested so I’m moving on.’ 

‘Delia, can I… please don’t go out with this person.’ 

‘What?’ Delia shook her head, Patsy was being absurd.

‘Will you go out with me instead?’ 

‘No, Lieutenant Mount,’ Delia said through clenched teeth, ‘I will not.’ 

Patsy grit her teeth in frustration, ‘Delia, please, don’t call me that when I’m not in uniform.’

‘No, you’re my superior and you should be addressed as such, isn’t that right? Don’t want to forget our place in the world.’ 

‘God damn it, Delia, you know that’s not why-’

‘No, you made it perfectly clear that we need to adhere to arbitrary boundaries so here I am abiding to them. Now if you’ll excuse me _Lieutenant_ , I have plans this evening.’ 

‘Delia, wait,’ Patsy grasped the door, preventing Delia from closing it in her face, ‘Delia please. I need to tell you something.’

‘What,’ Delia asked through gritted teeth, ‘What is it Patsy? I’m kind of done with your bullshit-’

‘I love you,’ she blurted out, her voice strained. Delia paused, listening with wide eyes as she watched Patsy swallow a lump in her throat, ‘I love you, and my mother and sister died when I was twelve and I haven’t spoken to my father in nearly ten years, and I… love… you… and it is _not_ easy for me to say. My life has been so devoid of it for so long that I feel like I’ve forgotten what it’s like... I don’t… I don’t know if I’ll ever do it right. If I’ll ever be good enough for you.’ 

Delia’s grip on the door slackened. The low roll of thunder rumbled in the distance as the woman in front of her licked her lips, her eyes pleading. 

‘Delia, I’m just…’ she let go of the door and took a step back, struggling to look at Delia, ‘I’m not an easy person to be with,’ she continued, tears cusped over the edge of her eyelids, ‘I can hardly sleep because I have flashbacks of the accident that killed my mum and sister… that should have killed me, too. I see a therapist and take medication for it…’ she wiped her eyes, ‘and I’m telling you all this because… I love you and I want you to know all the terrible things about me before we… if you still want to... ‘

‘Pats... Oh, god, cariad, no, there’s nothing about you that is terrible-’

‘No,’ Patsy cut her off, ‘I’ve been horrible. I thought… I thought keeping you at a safe distance would be enough. I was afraid to let you get too close… not just because of our ranks, but because I didn’t want you to know…’ Unconsciously, Patsy brought her hand to her chest and clenched her fist over her heart, ‘I’ve never shared that about myself, about my family, with anyone, and… and this is all new territory for me and I’m thrilled and terrified at the same time.’

Delia stood there, perplexed, not knowing what to say. 

‘And… you… for the first time in my life I care enough about someone… I love someone enough to want to share that with them… to want to let them in,’ Patsy looked back at Delia with heavy eyes, ‘So… that’s it. I have issues and am nowhere near perfect but I’m working on it and I love you and I want to be with you if… if you still want that. If you love me too…’ 

‘Patsy, you fool,’ Delia let out an exasperated laugh, ‘yes, of course I love you! I’m completely mad about you!’ Delia could feel tears prick at the corners of her own eyes now, ‘God, I love you so much, it physically hurts each day that goes by and I don’t see you, when we don’t talk or even look at each other.’ 

Patsy clasped her hands over her mouth to suppress a relieved laugh, her eyes crinkling with the smile forming behind her hands, ‘Deels, I’ve felt the same way. Fuck I’ve been so fucking miserable these past few weeks,’ she wiped the tears from her face, ‘God, Deels, I’ve been a complete and total ass. I’m so sorry. I hate that I’ve caused you any pain…’ 

Delia closed her eyes and sighed, raking her fingers through her hair, ‘Pats… it’s…,’ Delia trailed off, looking at the redhead in her doorway with the regretful expression on her face. 

‘Come here,’ Delia said, reaching for Patsy’s hand and pulling her through the threshold of the door. Delia threw her arms around Patsy’s shoulders and Patsy wrapped her arms around Delia’s waist. The two held each other tight, relishing the feeling of having their bodies pressed against one another. This was the most physical contact they had ever had with each other at this point and neither relented. Neither wanted to let go. For several moments, the only sound either could hear was the patter of the rain against the ground and the grumbling of thunder in the distance. 

‘Thank you for telling me,’ Delia said softly into Patsy’s neck, ‘thank you for letting me in,’ she pulled back slightly to look the taller woman in the eyes, ‘I promise not to take it for granted.’ 

‘I trust you.’ Patsy said softly and Delia smiled, feeling her heart swell with affection. 

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Delia asked gently. 

Patsy shook her head, ‘That’s… someday, yes. I want to tell you everything, but that’s not what I came here for.’ 

Delia’s smile softened, and she brushed the fringe from Patsy's eyes. 

Patsy bit her lip, looking down at Delia, noticing her outfit, ‘So… will you cancel your date?’ she asked softly, ‘Let me take you out instead?’

Delia shifted in Patsy’s arms, the fabric of her dress brushing against her breasts and she remembered for the first time since she opened the door that she was wearing nothing underneath. Her body suddenly sparked to life. The feeling of Patsy pressed against her with only the thin barrier of her dress between them, it excited her. Her hands wandered over Patsy’s body and her fingers came to tug on the hem of her top, finding their way underneath the soft cotton to feel the smooth curve of her hips. 

Patsy looked back at Delia curiously, watching this transformation right before her eyes. 

Patsy was hot to the touch. Her skin was slick with rain and the humidity in the air, and Delia felt a blush spread across her chest and crawl up into her cheeks. 

‘No. I don’t want to go out with you. Not tonight,’ she reached behind Patsy and swung the door shut. Patsy’s brain seemed to register what was happening the moment the door clicked, and she looked back at Delia through half lidded eyes, her lips parted slightly as she gazed down at Delia. Her cheeks were tinged a faint shade of pink as she licked her lips. 

Delia gently took Patsy's hands in hers and walked backwards, pulling Patsy with her until they were standing in her lounge. Delia’s hands found their way up Patsy's arms, teasing at the hem of her sleeves, running down the back of her arms and up again to cradle her head. Delia leaned forward and gently pulled Patsy down for their first kiss. It was sweet, and tentative. Just a taste as they pressed their lips lightly against one another and pulled away. Delia licked her lips, her eyes on Patsy's mouth as she leaned in and kissed her again, harder. Her eyes shut and her arms wrapped around Patsy's shoulders. She opened her mouth and pressed her tongue against Patsy’s, tasting her, breathing her scent, hearing her moan. Delia pressed the length of her body against Patsy, needing as much contact with her as possible. She wasn’t going to let go. She wasn’t going to let her stop. 

Delia broke from the kiss and sighed against Patsy's neck when she felt the taller woman’s hands roam around her body, down her hips, her fingers stroked the side of her thighs and hitched up the hem of her dress. 

Patsy pulled back suddenly with an amused smirk, ‘You’re not wearing any knickers?’ 

Delia smiled. She pushed hard into Patsy’s body, nibbling at a spot on her neck that made the taller woman gasp before kissing her there, ‘Lucky you.’ 

Patsy moaned, her hands stroking Delia’s thighs and cupping her bare bum as Delia continued to place open mouth kisses along the length of her neck. Delia could hear Patsy swallow a lump in her throat, her hands stopped roaming, she hesitated. 

‘Deels, are you…’ Delia silenced her with a deep kiss, her tongue reaching out to taste her, encourage her. 

‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she said between kisses, ‘I’m absolutely sure, Patsy,’ more kisses trailing down her neck before their lips met once more, hands wandering over bodies, ‘Don’t hold back,’ Delia breathed as Patsy nipped at a spot under her ear. Delia grasped fistfulls of Patsy’s shirt, ‘Don’t you dare hold back.’ 

This seemed to be all the incentive Patsy needed. Delia watched as her eyes grew dark, her breathing became more shallow. Patsy wrapped her arms around Delia, kissing her sensually as she walked her backwards to the sofa. Delia laid down and pulled Patsy to lay on top of her. The two continued to kiss as they situated themselves, Patsy kicking off her trainers hastily as her hips settled in between Delia’s legs. Both women sighed at the contact. 

Patsys mouth found the hollow of Delia’s neck, licking and kissing her way up, groaning as Delia sighed in her ear. Her mouth connected with Delia’s again for a searing kiss. Mouths opened and tongues reached out to taste one another. Patsy’s hands grasped over the curve of Delia’s hips, balling the flimsy material of her skirt in her fists. Her hands grazing over the smooth skin of her round bottom before they sought the soft skin between Delia’s thighs. The smaller woman slammed her eyes shut, letting out a whimper as she bucked against Patsy's hand. 

Delia’s hand grasped the back of Patsy's head as she kissed her neck, whimpering, ‘Oh, Patsy, please…’ she urged, gasping as Patsy softly stroked her inner thigh, ‘Please touch me.’ 

Patsy closed her eyes, her mouth pressed against Delia’s ear as she let her desires guide her hand, slowly finding the soft skin between her legs, parting her with her index finger, seeking the slick heat she knew to be there. Patsy groaned when she finally felt Delia’s need, her lips soft and wet around her fingers. 

‘You feel so good, Deels… oh my god,’ she whispered. 

Delia whimpered, aching for Patsy to stroke her faster, harder. She needed this woman like she needed air.

Patsy placed lazy, open mouthed kisses along Delia’s neck as she stroked the length of her, holding her steady with one hand while the other slowly circled over her clit. Delia held onto Patsy tight, her eyes screwed shut as she whimpered in her ear with each stroke. 

‘Fuck you’re so wet,’ Patsy panted, her breath hot against Delia’s neck. 

‘You have no idea,’ Delia whispered, ‘you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to touch me like this.’ 

‘Just like this?’ Patsy asked as she pointedly rolled her finger over Delia’s clit, she smaller woman bucking her hips into Patsy's hand. 

Delia whimpered, wrapping her arms around Patsy's shoulders and holding her tight, ‘Yes, yes, oh, please don’t stop,’ she whispered in her ear. 

‘Mmm,’ Patsy nearly growled in Delia’s ear, ‘I won’t stop, I promise I won’t stop.’ 

Delia bit down on Patsy's shoulder, and the taller woman gasped, reflexively pushing against Delia harder, her fingers stroking over and over her clit faster. 

Delia moaned in Patsys ear, ‘Oh, yes, yes, baby, yes,’ she was getting what she wanted, touched how she desired. Patsy was doing everything just right and she was almost beyond speaking coherently. The only other sounds out of her mouth for the next several moments were her desperate panting and whimpering as Patsy continued her steady rhythm. Delia thought about what she wanted to do to this woman as soon as she had the chance. 

She wanted to take off her clothes.

She wanted to see her.

She wanted to hear her.

She wanted to part her legs and taste her. 

Delia gasped, ‘Oh, fuck,’ and her grip on Patsy tightened as her body arched suddenly into the taller woman, bucking into her hand as the pressure that had built up in her suddenly released, her body convulsing. She cried out her orgasm in Patsy’s ear as she shook under her, waves and waves of pleasure coursing throughout her body as Patsy’s fingers slowed, her lips finding Delia’s neck and placing sweet kisses there as Delia came down. 

Their mouths met, Patsy tugging on Delia’s lip with her teeth, gasping, ‘God, Delia, you’re so fucking hot,’ as her hands wandered over the smooth flesh of Delia’s bum and thighs, trailing up her body, grasping her breasts through her thin dress. Patsy kissed her way down, her tongue grazing over the dip in Delia’s neck, ‘I love the way you sound,’ she breathed, kissing at whatever exposed skin she could along Delia’s chest. Delia groaned and arched into her touches, wanting more. 

Delia’s hands raked through her hair as she gently pushed Patsy away, ‘And I love how you touch me,’ she said as she placed her hands on Patsy’s shoulders and pushed her, guiding Patsy to sit up on the sofa, ‘but I want to hear you now.’ 

They kissed again as Delia tugged at the hem of Patsy’s top. Her hands wandered over the hot skin of her torso, gently lifting her shirt and guiding the taller woman to lift her arms. Delia hummed happily when the shirt was discarded, her eyes taking in Patsy’s figure; toned arms and stomach, smooth, pale skin dusted with freckles. Delia wanted to kiss each and every one. She leaned forward, kissing Patsy and gently guided the taller woman to lay down. Delia reached under her and unclipped her simple pink bra, pulling the straps down her arms, revealing a pair of the most beautiful breasts Delia had ever laid eyes on. 

Delia smiled, biting her lip mischievously as she grasped Patsy under the knees, pulling the taller woman towards her. Patsy sank into the sofa with an amused shout, surprised by Delia’s strength. Any retort she may have given died on her lips when Delia leaned forward, her hands running up the length of Patsy's torso before she palmed over her breasts. Patsy closed her eyes and sighed at her touches, her head tilting back and resting on the arm of the sofa. 

‘You have gorgeous tits,’ Delia breathed before her mouth replaced her hands, pulling a taut nipple into her mouth gently with her lips. Patsy sighed and unconsciously arched her hips into Delia, whose hands traveled down the length of Patsy's body once more, grasping at her hips. 

‘I want to see you too,’ Patsy breathed. She looked down at Delia through half lidded eyes, her legs wrapping around Deia’s thighs as her eager hands grasped at Delia’s loose dress, tugging at the hem, pulling it up around her hips and waist. 

The loose and flowy fabric tickled Dealia’s skin as it was pulled up around her and she giggled. Delia smiled and pulled away teasingly, ‘Not yet,’ she breathed, pinning Patsy’s wrists above her head as she kissed across the valley of Patsy's chest to tease at her other nipple, gently biting before tugging it in her mouth. Patsy gasped and arched her hips again. 

‘Do you like that?’ Delia asked, her hands trailing down to cup Patsy's bum, and pulled her closer, grinding against her. Patsy licked her lips and nodded, arching her hips into Delia as she leaned down again, her tongue rolling over one hard nipple while her fingers pinched the other. Patsy’s eyes shut as her head fell back on the armrest, a moan rolling out of her mouth as she ran her fingers through Delia’s long hair. 

Delia placed fat, wet kisses over Patsy’s chest as she wrapped her lips around the other nipple, gently sucking and pulling with her lips. The woman under her whimpered and rolled her hips into Delia. She looked as if she was absolutely aching for contact. 

‘Is that how you like to be eaten out?’ Delia asked innocently as she palmed over Patsy’s jeans between her legs, ‘Do you like having your pussy sucked like this?’ 

Patsy groaned and bucked her hips into Delia’s hand, ‘Aah! Oh my god, yes, yes, yes.’ 

Delia’s mouth pulled at a taut nipple one last time as her hands worked at unbuttoning Patsy’s trousers. The woman beneath her lifted her hips while Delia frantically tugged at them, needing to pull them off. She was desperate to go down on this woman. To know what she smelled like, to know what she tasted like, how she felt, how she sounded. The trousers and knickers were soon discarded into a pile on the floor next to them, and Delia raked a hand through her hair once more as she leaned forward, kissing her way down Patsy’s stomach, a tongue dipping into her belly button, making her squirm. Delia playfully bit at Patsy’s hips, her tongue and mouth gently sucking over the spots where she nibbled, leaving little red marks in her wake. 

Delia took Patsy’s legs and hitched them over her shoulders. She shifted, settling in, her hands palming the taller woman’s bum and hips as her mouth kissed the soft curls between her legs. Delia breathed in deep, and exhaled, moaning. The scent of Patsy triggered something in her brain that made her mouth water, that made her own body pulse with desire, with a need to be touched. She took a few teasing nips at Patsy’s inner thigh, causing her to gasp, buck her hips into Delia’s face, her breath hitching in anticipation. Delia finally opened her mouth and tasted Patsy, her tongue wet and firm as she grazed it up Patsy’s slit, parting her lips, tasting Patsy’s need. 

Delia’s hands held Patsy’s hips firmly in place, fighting against the woman rolling her hips against her face. The taller woman lovingly reached down and ran her fingers through Delia’s hair, pushing it out of her face and holding it in place while Delia’s tongue brought her the utmost pleasure. 

Delia moaned, loving the taste of Patsy, how soft she was, how wet and wanting. She slowly opened her eyes to look at her. She was greeted with the sight of the taller woman breathing deep, her lips parted slightly, her chest rising and falling, her cheeks and chest tinged pink from exertion. Her breathing and moans filled the room and it was the sexiest thing Delia had ever heard. She closed her eyes again, rolling her tongue over Patsy’s clit before gently pulling on it with her lips. Patsy’s eyes slammed shut and she whimpered, her hips rolling again. Delia repeated the motion, over and over again, pleased to hear Patsy enjoying herself as the taller woman’s cries become more urgent, going up an octave. 

‘Deels… Oh, god, Deels, please don’t stop, please don’t stop,’ Patsy whimpered, her words trailing off and giving way to breathy sighs and moans. Delia could feel her tense under her, the taller womans long legs squirming beside her, around her body as her orgasm drew near. Patsy’s grip on Delia’s hair tightened, holding her head steady as she continued to beg for her to keep going. 

Delia sighed, her hands roaming up and down the length of Patsy's body, palming her wonderful tits and bringing them back down to grasp her hips while she continued to please the redhead with her mouth. She was is heaven. She wanted to do this all night. Tasting her, listening to her moans, making her writhe beneath her. Her mind wandered briefly to the various other ways she could make this sexy woman come that evening before a whimper from Patsy brought her back into the moment. Delia opened her eyes just in time to see Patsy arch her back, her hips rising from the sofa before crashing back down, crying out her orgasm, rolling her hips into Delia’s face. Delia held on as Patsy convulsed, her body shaking around her. She continued rolling her tongue over her clit until Patsy gently entangled her fingers in Delia’s hair and pulled her away. Delia, needing to keep her mouth on this woman, kissed the sensitive skin of an inner thigh while her hands trailed down and up her hips and thighs. She closed her eyes and tasted her salty skin, felt her quiver, listened as her moans turned into sighs as she came down. Delia got up on her knees, slowly kissing her way back up Patsy's body. The taller woman twitched under her as the ends of Delia’s hair and dress flitted over her skin, tickling her. 

‘Oh, fuck… fuck,’ Patsy sighed, her eyes fluttering open, her chest rising and falling. Delia straddled a thigh and pressed her body against Patsy's as she placed soft kisses on her breasts again. Patsy ran her fingers through Delia’s hair, causing the smaller woman to look up at her. 

‘Where did you learn to eat pussy like that?’ Patsy asked, an eyebrow raised. 

Delia licked her lips and smirked, ‘I was a pretty rambunctious teenager in college.’

Patsy chuckled, ‘So you were chasing around girls and footballs instead of studying for your A-levels, hmm?’ 

Delia nodded shyly, ‘Pretty much. Also, I mean, it’s basically been the only thing on my mind since I’ve met you.’

‘Really.’ 

‘Mmhmm. I’ve been wanting to rip your trousers off and make you come with my mouth like that for months now.’ 

Patsy grabbed Delia by the hips and brought her strong thigh between Delia’s legs. Delia gasped at the sudden contact. A guttural moan escaped from the back of her throat as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Her forehead hit Patsy's chest as she let the taller woman guide her hips, forcing her to grind against her thigh. Delia’s hands found the headrest and gripped for dear life, knuckles whitening as she pushed herself down on Patsy's thigh, grinding hard against her. 

‘Do you want to know what I’ve been thinking about since I met you? What I want to do to you?’ Patsy asked softly. 

Delia barely registered what she had said, her brain too clouded with desire. She grit her teeth as she ground hard against Patsy's thigh again, sighing, ‘Wha… What’s that?’ 

Patsy suddenly dropped her leg, grasping Delia’s bum, preventing her from any further contact. Delia gasped, her eyes squeezed shut. It almost physically hurt to not be touched where she needed it most right now. She opened her eyes and gazed down at Patsy, who looked back at her with an unwavering stare, determined. 

‘Take your dress off. Now.’ 

Delia blinked. She forgot she was even wearing the damn thing. She composed herself and sat back on her heels, her hands pulling at the hem of her dress when she stopped. She would rather have someone else do this. Delia curled her finger and beckoned for Patsy to sit up. 

‘Take it off for me.’ 

Patsy sat up with a small smile. Delia straddled her lap and kissed her as she felt her firm hands graze over her thighs and hips, pushing up her dress around her. Patsys hands caressed Delia’s body, pulling her dress with her. Delia raised her arms over her head and the material was finally removed, discarded without a second thought and pooled next to them on the ground. Delia caught Patsy eyeing her breasts hungrily, her hands roaming around her body, palming the valley between her breasts, down her soft tummy, gently stroking her thighs, hips, and back. Delia raked her fingers through her hair and fluffed it over her shoulder as Patsy pulled her close. This did not go unnoticed by Patsy. 

‘I love it when you do that.’

Delia grinned, ‘I know,’ she said before leaning down for a sweet kiss. 

Delia’s phone suddenly chimed from the coffee table. Both women turned their heads to look at it, Patsy glaring at the interruption. 

‘Oh, that’s probably my date.’ 

‘Date? What date?’ Patsy asked as she laid Delia down on the other side of the sofa, settling in between her legs. Delia hooked her ankles behind Patsy's lower back. 

‘The one I was getting ready for before you showed up.’ 

Patsy leaned down and kissed along Delia’s collarbone, ‘Well I’m certainly not going to apologize for interrupting your plans,’ she said stubbornly. 

Delia hummed, pulling the elastic band from Patsy’s hair and let the red locks spill over her shoulders, ‘I should probably call her...,’ she ran her fingers through Patsy's hair and the woman on top of her sighed, kissing her way up Delia’s neck before their lips connected in a sweet kiss once more. 

Patsy pulled away and bit her lip, narrowing her eyes mischievously as she brought her finger to trace along Delia’s lips. 

‘It might be a little hard for you to talk,’ she whispered, ‘when you have your mouth full.’ 

Delia gasped, smiling slightly when she realized what Patsy intended to do. She licked her lips and opened her mouth, unconsciously grinding herself into Patsy as she eagerly wrapped her lips around her finger. Delia closed her eyes as she sucked on her finger, coaxing it with spit. 

‘Oh, fuck…,’ Patsy whimpered. She watched with half lidded eyes, her own lips parted in a silent moan as Delia reached up and guided a second finger into her mouth. She closed her eyes and sighed, taking Patsy's fingers into her mouth. She imagined how these fingers were going to feel buried inside of her pussy and Delia moaned at the thought, her hips rising off the sofa to grind against Patsy. 

The phone on the coffee table started ringing. Patsy's fingers popped out of Delia’s mouth as the back of her head hit the armrest in frustration. 

‘Ignore it.’ 

‘I should tell her I’ll be late.’

‘Late?!’ Patsy asked incredulously, and Delia giggled, ‘you’ll tell her you’ll not be coming at all… unless it’s for me,’ she added quietly. 

Delia reached for her phone, ‘Won’t take a moment, cariad.’ 

Patsy harrumphed but began kissing her way down Delia’s body as Delia brought the phone to her ear. 

‘Hello? Hi Sabine! Yes, I was just going to call you…’ Delia’s eyes fluttered shut and she suppressed a shaky sigh as Patsy palmed over her breast with one hand, her lips wrapping around the nipple of her other breast and gently tugging. 

‘What’s that? Oh, no, I’m sorry I’m not going to be able to make it tonight,’ Delia’s hands absentmindedly reached out to stroke Patsy’s hair while she spoke, the woman on top of her kissing under the curve of her breasts, tickling her ribcage. Delia’s breath hitched as she squirmed. 

‘Heavy breathing? Oh, right yeah, I, um… I accidentally ate something I was allergic to. Yeah, my throat is closing up and I had to go to hospital…’

Delia bit her lip as she felt Patsy spread her legs and leave fat, open mouth kisses along her inner thigh. Her breathing hitched even more in anticipation. Her eyes remained screwed shut as she tried desperately to focus on the woman on the other line.

‘No, no, don’t worry. I’m with the doctor now,’ she said with a smirk, and she could feel Patsy smile against her leg. 

‘Yeah, I’m really sorry. Can we take a rain check?’ Delia suddenly grit her teeth, suppressing a gasp, and held the phone away from her mouth as far as she could as Patsy sunk her two fingers into her up to her knuckle. Her head hit the armrest as her back arched. She thrusted her hips as she grew accustomed to the feeling of being stretched and filled so wonderfully. It was so fucking wonderful and she hated Patsy doing it this exact moment, when she couldn’t voice her pleasure. 

‘Hey, sorry,’ she said, phone back to her ear and her voice strained, ‘I need to go, the doctor is saying she’s ready for me. Yeah, you too, take care!’ Delia hastily pushed the red button on her phone. She let it drop to the floor and it clamoured noisily against the hardwood. She finally cried out as Patsy pulled away her fingers, only to plunge them back into her again. 

‘You’re out of your tree if you think I’ll ever let you see that girl on other than plutonic pretenses,’ she slowly pulled her fingers out again, ‘Or the others,’ she finished, and she stopped, biting her lip as Delia wiggled her hips, moaning, aching for contact. 

‘Nonono, no, god please don’t stop Pats…’ Delia looked up to see Patsy smirking, a cocky eyebrow raised. 

The back of her head hit the armrest in frustration, ‘Patsy!’ she whined, eyes shut, ‘fucking hell, alright, I’ll get rid of their numbers, delete the profile, I’ll take you out for a nice steak dinner just please don’t stAHhh!’ 

Patsy relented and sunk her fingers into Delia again, this time joined by her mouth as she firmly rolled her tongue over a hard clit. Delia raked her hands through her own hair as she cried out, her heavy breathing turning to long moans as Patsy found a rhythm for her fingers and her tongue. Patsy closed her eyes as she filled Delia with her fingers, stretching her, filling her over and over again as Delia writhed at her touches. 

Delia felt as if she was sinking into the sofa, her arms coming up above her head to push against the armrest, pressing her whole body against Patsy’s fingers and face. She adored the contact, and the moans and whimpers that escaped her mouth made that clear. Patsy shifted and suddenly her fingers grazed against a familiar spot that made Delia’s toes curl. Her hips jumped off the sofa at the firm touches, and she could feel Patsy smirk against her, as if she had found what she had been looking for. 

‘O fy duw, O fy duw, O fy duw…’ Delia whimpered over and over again, ‘Peidiwch â stopio… oh fuck yr ydych yn mynd i wneud i mi ddod…’ 

Delia prattled off frantically in Welsh to Patsy’s amusement, the woman knowing better than to stop or change her rhythm even though she could understand only one of those words. Patsy continued on for several moments, moaning against Delia in time with the smaller womans whimpers, growing higher and higher in pitch as she grew closer to falling over that edge. Delia could feel that pressure building up in her once more. Patsy’s fingers filled her so good, her tongue felt so hot and firm against her most sensitive area. She was close. She felt so fucking close. 

‘Ah, oh, fuck, O duw rydych chi'n teimlo mor fucking da, O fy duw, O fy duw, O fy duw,’ she prattled off again, whimpering. Her sighs turned to cries as Patsy gave the one final stroke that made Delia unfurl and crumble in her arms, her whole body seemingly rising and then crashing on the sofa. She cried out, her hands coming to entangle themselves in Patsy's hair as she rolled her hips, her legs shaking around Patsy’s body. Patsy held on tight as the smaller woman came around her fingers; Delia had clamped down around them so hard that it was impossible for the redhead to even move them. She placed sweet kisses along Delia’s thighs, below her tummy, across her hips as the woman quivered, coming down from her orgasm. Delia’s arms came to rest above her head, her sighs filling the room as her body relaxed, shaking slightly when Patsy was able to finally remove her fingers. 

‘Mmm,’ Patsy hummed as she kissed her way back up Delia’s body, ‘I’ve been dreaming of doing that for ages.’ 

She trailed her hands over her hips and breasts as her mouth sought the smaller woman’s lips and kissed her sweetly. Delia cupped Patsy's face, smiling, and kissed her. She was absolutely over the moon in love with this woman and had never felt more happy than in that moment. 

Patsy eventually pulled away and rested her head on Delia’s chest. Delia fingers automatically found their way through Patsy's hair as the two held each other on the sofa for several moments.

Delia sighed contently, closing her eyes and smiling, ‘Well done Lieutenant.’ 

Patsy snickered, ‘I told you not to call me that when I’m not in uniform.’ 

‘Technically you’re not in anything right now,’ Delia quipped smartly and Patsy groaned, ‘which will always be my preference, for future reference.’

‘Noted.’

‘And since you’re not in uniform, or anything else, I’m going to ignore all direct orders from you and call you what I like,’ she finished with a finality in her tone. 

Patsy looked up at her. 

‘Don’t worry,’ Delia continued, ‘I’ll still play the part of obedient little minion while we’re at work, though I can’t promise my head won’t be in the clouds whenever I look at you.’ 

Patsy smiled shyly, but looked a little worried. 

‘What’s the matter, cariad?’ Delia asked. 

Patsy sighed, looking apprehensive. 

‘Deels, are you sure you’re alright with keeping this to ourselves? I mean, I’m not shy about being gay and open about that, but you know they can… they wouldn’t allow…’

‘Patsy, I know. I know it’s different. I don’t mind, really.’

Patsy looked concerned as she laid her head black down on Delia’s chest, her hands lovingly caressing her hips and thighs, ‘I just don’t want for either of us to get in trouble. I don’t want either of us transferred. I don’t want to be separated from you…’ she finished quietly. 

Delia could feel her heart pulse with affection for the woman holding her. She found her words so terribly endearing. 

‘I don’t want that either,’ she soothingly ran her fingers through Patsy's hair, and she could feel the woman’s breathing slow as she began to relax, ‘I’m completely fine carrying on as we have been at work. We’ve managed it alright so far, haven’t we?’ 

Patsy nodded slightly as her hands continued to lovingly caress over Delia’s thighs and hips. 

‘Well then? I honestly think it will be easier, seeing you every day and knowing that I’ll be able to have you all to myself in the evenings or weekends.’ 

This seemed to resonate with Patsy as she lifted her head, smiling slightly. 

‘Aright. I think I can live with that, too.’ 

She leaned down and placed soft kisses across Delia’s chest and breasts, humming happily as Delia ran her fingers through her hair. 

Suddenly Delia’s stomach growled so loud it caused Patsy to look up at her in shock. 

‘Was that your stomach?!’ 

‘Guess I’m still hungry,’ she winked. 

Patsy blushed, ‘I’ll say. Though I suppose you’ve earned yourself a meal made by me.’ 

‘Uh…’ Delia looked around, ‘the power is still out.’ 

‘Oh… well what do you have in the house that doesn’t require cooking?’

Delia giggled, ‘I can whip us up a nice bowl of cereal.’ 

Patsy rolled her eyes, ‘Where are my trousers? I’m ordering a pizza.’

* * *

The two spent the entire weekend together in Delia’s flat. They made it out once to stock up on groceries and booze and spent the rest of the weekend taking care of their human needs between sex. Even then they found it difficult to keep their hands to themselves. It’s as if all the months of pent up tension between the two was finally unraveling and being released over and over again. Neither woman had any complaints. By Monday morning the two managed to resume as normal in front of others as they had discussed but it wasn’t easy. Patsy found herself ordering the wrong kind of coffee from the dining hall and it just so happened to be the way Delia liked it, so she left it for her. Between phone calls, Delia would scribble sweet little nothings on post-it notes and pointedly stick them in files she would hand directly to Patsy after she had asked for them. The redhead would discretely pocket the notes and carry on with a faint blush and a small smile. Delia re-joined the running club. She jumped up when Patsy asked for help. She volunteered with the redhead whenever she could for whatever on-base activity needed help. 

For the first few days after their weekend together, they tried to spend their evenings alone. They tried to carry on as normal but the pull to be close to one another was much too strong for either of them to endure. The time spent not physically being around one another was filled with phone calls and flirty texts and selfies and they made it to Wednesday before Patsy had had enough and just came over. She was there every night thereafter. They ate dinner together and cuddled on the sofa and kissed and ate ice cream while they watched Pride and Prejudice for the hundredth time. Patsy always left in the evenings but would stay over on the weekends and the two enjoyed those nights where they could fall asleep in each others arms. 

More time passed and they were able to control their hormones and wandering hands enough to get out of Delia’s flat and explore Germany a little. They took leave in the autumn and visited Berlin and ventured to Munich for Oktoberfest. For the Christmas holidays they traveled back to Wales and Patsy met Delia’s family and they welcomed her with open arms and it was the most touching thing Patsy had ever experienced. 

In the spring they visited Paris to celebrate Delia pinning on her Corporal stripes and Patsy making Captain. The two continued to live separately, but it really was more like Patsy paying for her own flat to keep her things in while she lived with Delia. Neither of them had any complaints with this arrangement. The two had settled into this routine, only growing closer with one another as time went on. 

Before they knew it, two years had passed. 

Delia and Patsy lay awake one evening at the end of May. The weather was warm, but dreary with grey clouds and rain. Thunder rumbled outside and rain pattered against Delia’s bedroom window as the two stared at the ceiling apprehensively. Patsy was lying cradled in Delia’s arms while the shorter woman lazily stroked her fingers through Patsy’s hair. Delia leaned down and gingerly kissed Patsy’s temple. They had known for several weeks now that this moment would come. They had plenty of time to prepare, and as much as they thought they were ready, they both felt seemingly unprepared now that the moment was upon them. 

‘I take it you’re not going to be able to sleep tonight, either?’ Delia asked. 

Patsy shook her head, ‘No,’ she shrugged, ‘and I feel so silly.’ 

Delia chuckled, ‘Why is that?’ 

‘Because it’s not like the old days, is it? I’m not shipping out to war with the chance of never coming back. I’ll be safe and cozy on base and in the hospital, won’t I?’ 

‘It’s still nerve wracking. Six months is a long time, and it’s still dangerous where you’re going. God only knows what could happen…’ she trailed off not wanting to think of the worst. 

Patsy shifted and sat up, turning to face Delia, her hands resting on either side of her body. 

‘Delia, the thing is, it’s not where I’m going… It’s just that, since we’ve met… I don’t think we’ve gone more than three days without at least seeing one another… without being in the same space... and now I need to find it within me to go six months without seeing you with my own eyes,’ she frowned, the back of her hand coming to lovingly graze over Delia’s cheek, ‘to touch you like this,’ she leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Delia’s lips, her hands finding their way under her top and palming over her ribcage and back, ‘to hold you like this…’

Delia arched into her touches, kissing her back, ‘Tonight. We have tonight,’ she sighed, and pulled Patsy close to her, holding the woman tight. 

Patsy sighed against her neck, kissing her there, shifting so that her body was between Delia's legs. 

‘Yeah,’ she said softly, placing gentle kisses along her neck, ‘yeah, we have tonight.’ 

Delia wrapped her arms around Patsy’s neck and the two shared a searing kiss.

Lightning cracked and lit the room momentarily before the sound of thunder came rumbling through. Rain pounded against the windows and the two women in the small flat kissed fervently and made love like they would never see eachother again.

* * *

Delia slammed her bike into the rack at 0520 hours and didn’t bother to lock it up. She hastily unclipped her helmet and threw it on the ground in the proximity of her bike as she ran towards the terminal, frantically looking around once she was inside. She felt a panic in her heart as she saw swarms of other men and women in their green uniforms lined up and checking through security before they boarded their flight to Kandahar.

No no no no, she said to herself, she couldn’t have missed her, not yet! 

‘Corporal Busby!’ Delia whipped her head in the direction of her name being called. It was Patsy, waving to her from a dark corner near the restrooms with her duffle bag hitched over her shoulder. The woman barely got any sleep the night prior and she still managed to have her hair and uniform in impeccable order. Delia marveled at the sight and tucked her own hair back, worried about her appearance for a split second before she realized it barely fucking mattered in this moment. 

She approached Patsy, breathless, ‘Hi,’ she said. 

Patsy gave her a sad smile, ‘Hi.’ 

Delia looked around and, even though she deemed it safe from prying eyes, she hastily pushed Patsy around the corner to a darker area where absolutely no one would see them. 

‘I’m sorry I’m late… I’ve never ridden my bike to this side of base before. I had no idea it would take me this long-’

‘Deels,’ Patsy said, grasping her hands and cutting her off, ‘It’s alright. I’m just happy you’re here.’ 

Delia smiled, her hand coming up to rest against Patsy’s cheek. The taller woman leaned into her touch and placed her own hand over Delia’s. 

‘How are you feeling?’ Delia asked. 

Patsy smirked, ‘I’m as well as I’m ever going to be in this moment, I suppose.’ 

Delia licked her lips and smiled. She reached down and pulled out a small envelope from her hip pocket and opened Patsy’s breast pocket. 

‘You read this well after you’ve landed and settled in, alright.’ she tucked it into the pocket and pressed it shut, ‘It’s just a little something to make you cheery.’

Patsy placed her hand over Delia’s and their eyes met. 

Delia nearly fell apart, but managed to keep it together.

Her hand reached up to cradle Patsy’s head and the two brought their foreheads together for a moment and closed their eyes. 

‘It’ll go by in a flash. You’ll see.’ 

Patsy smirked, ‘Impossible. I already miss you.’ 

Delia smiled.

‘I love you,’ she said. 

‘I love you, too.’ Patsy whispered. 

The two parted, looking around to make sure they were alone, and came together at the same time for a quick kiss. 

Delia gently pushed Patsy’s fringe out of her eyes, ‘You should go ahead and get in line.’ 

Patsy took a deep breath, smiling sadly again, ‘Alright… I know. It’s time.’ 

She leaned down and picked up her duffle bag, sighing, hesitating. 

‘You go on now,’ Delia said, hands on her hips, ‘I might have some time to actually concentrate on my studies with you away.’ 

‘Absolute fucking lies,’ Patsy grinned, ‘You would never make it through your courses without me helping.’ 

Delia crossed her arms stubbornly, ‘I’m willing to test that theory.’

Patsy bit her lip, giving Delia another once over before licking her lips. 

Delia uncrossed her arms and shooed her away, ‘Go on then. Make your queen and country proud.’ 

Patsy nodded silently, finally turning and getting in line to make her way through security. Delia shoved her hands in her pockets and leaned against a pillar as she watched Patsy go through. Once she was in, Patsy looked back over at Delia, silently blowing her a kiss and then placing a hand over her heart, where Delia had placed her note. Delia clenched a fist over her heart as if she had caught her kiss, and did her damndest to keep the tears edging over her eyes at bay. 

Finally, Patsy disappeared within the terminal, and Delia turned and left, her thumb and forefinger coming to wipe the tears threatening to fall. 

They could do this, she told herself. Millions of couples have done this in the past and present. They could do it. Six months was nothing. 

She approached her bike that looked like it had seen better days, and took a deep breath. 

It was time for her to go to work. It was time to carry on as if it were any normal day. 

She picked up her helmet and strapped it around her chin before mounting her bicycle. She patted her reflective belt to make sure it was clicked securely around her waist before heading off into the early morning from the terminal and making her way towards the hospital. The air was cool against her skin, the orange sun peeking over the horizon keeping her mind from unhappy thoughts. Her mind unconsciously wandered to Patsy. The evening they had shared before. Her soft skin. The way she smelled. Her smile. It was distracting. So much that Delia barely registered the headlights coming towards her at an alarming rate.

It was too late for her to get out of the way.

* * *

‘What’s his name?’ 

Delia looked back at her girlfriend through the Skype app on her phone. The redhead was sitting cross legged on her bed in her dorm room in Kandahar, wearing her PT gear. Delia was looking up at her, so she surmised that her laptop perched in her lap. The woman had an elbow on her windowsill, a lit cigarette between her fingers as she puffed like a chimney and blew the white smoke out the open window. 

‘I want to know his name. What’s his rank? Who is his supervisor?’ she asked, terse. 

‘Pats…’

‘I want his license revoked. I want him put on night shift. I want ever waking hour he isn’t working for the rest of his enlistment volunteering for ‘army against drunk driving’ and cleaning latrines and dorms and walking up and down the flight line collecting FOD and other rubbish around the base.’ 

Delia could hear a rhythmic patting, which she could only assume was Patsy's foot tapping fervently against her bedsheets. 

‘Patsy.’

‘I’ll write an email to the squadron commander if I have to. Fucking bastard.’ 

‘Patsy, really, I’m a little banged up but I’ll be alright.’ 

‘A little banged up?!’ Pats said incredulously, stubbing out her cigarette and moving to pull out a fresh one, ‘fractured ribs, broken arm, and you have an enormous scar over your eye from where the bloody antenna hit you!’ She lit her cigarette and took a long drag, ‘not to mention you said you’ve been diagnosed with a TBI?!’ 

‘A minor one,’ Delia quipped. 

‘That could affect your vision and memory! Delia that’s a huge deal! They’re already drafting your discharge papers!’ She exhaled a long line of smoke out the window. 

‘Patsy you know I didn’t want to stay in the army anyway…’ she tried to reason but she watched as Patsy shook her head on her phone screen. 

‘But what if you had? What if you had made Sergeant and changed your mind? What if your injuries had been worse? Hmm? This is your career we’re talking about here. Your life. What is his name, god damn it! I’m getting you a lawyer. We’re suing his sorry arse.’ 

‘Patsy! It. Was. An. Accident. I’m not pressing charges and I’m letting his commander take care of it, alright? We don’t need to take it that far.’

Delia could hear Patsy grunt her disapproval as she puffed away, ‘He hurt the woman I love,’ she said, ‘I want his head on a pike.’ 

Delia couldn’t help but smile, finding Patsy's protectiveness of her rather endearing. 

‘Look, my Mam is here and she is on the warpath just like you would be. We’re taking care of things here, alright? Please don’t stress about this-‘

‘Impossible.’

Delia ignored her, ‘You’ve got enough going on as it is and I don’t want to add to it, alright? Please just focus on your job. I’m alive. I’ll be alright. I’ll be with my family and they’ll take good care of me.’

Delia smiled as reassuringly as she could, seeking Patsy's eyes, ‘I promise to be good and keep up with my studies and write to you every week like I promised. I’ll even be nice to my Mam when she’s driving me crazy.’ 

Patsys expression seemed to soften as she looked at Delia. She scratched her eyebrow out of nervous habit and finished her cigarette, stubbing it out, ‘How are you feeling?’ She asked earnestly, ‘I’m sorry; that should have been the first question out of my mouth,’ she added. 

‘It’s alright, Pats… I’m… I’m alright,’ Delia sighed, ‘I know my physical injuries will heal in time,’ she gestured to her arm, ‘but as for my head… well right now I’m sensitive to light, have the occasional headache… my memory seems to be alright, but the doctors say my short term memory could be affected. I’m just hoping it doesn’t affect my studies too much.’

Delia watched as Patsy shook her head, resting her chin in her hand as she looked out her window. She sighed, and balled up her fists in frustration. 

‘God, you know, how fucking typical you get in an accident the moment I leave for here. I shouldn’t have made you come to the terminal. We should have just said our goodbyes at the flat-‘ 

Delia cut her off, ‘Pats, there’s no way I would have given up that chance to see you up until the last possible moment. I wanted to see you off. I absolutely do not regret it and neither should you.’ 

Patsy sighed through her nose and Delia could hear that rhythmic patting of her foot against the bedsheets. 

‘Patsy, it’s all going to be alright. I’m with my Mam now, she’ll…’ Delia sighed and rolled her eyes, ‘she’ll keep a watchful eye on me. Keep me out of trouble and see that I go to every follow up appointment and take all my medication. Who knows, there may be a silver lining to all this.’ 

‘How’s that?’ 

‘Well, I’ll be unemployed soon and won’t have you around to distract me,’ she smirked, ‘I can bury myself in my studies. Who knows, I may be able to graduate early.’

‘No, don’t overexert yourself,’ Patsy implored, ‘you need time to rest.’

‘Oh,’ Delia sounded flustered, ‘the start of the next term isn’t for weeks now, that’s plenty of time. I’ll be all settled back home in Wales and itching for something to do.’

Patsy shrugged, indicating that she agreed with Delia’s statement. 

‘Did you open my letter?’ Delia asked with a small smile. The thought made the woman on the other side of her screen smirk and reach for something out of sight. Her hand returned into view holding two pieces of paper.

‘Which one? The heartfelt romantic love letter that made me want to cry, or the one where you drew a picture of, I’m assuming, my bum with a bunch of hearts around it, telling me you miss it?’ 

Delia leaned back slightly and closed her eyes, ‘Ah, I can just see that perfectly round, supple bum now’ she said nostalgically, humming happily. 

‘I can show you now if you like,’ Patsy smirked. 

‘Ah, as much as it pains me to say, I don’t think I’ll be ready for a Skype session like that until I can use my right hand again,’ she frowned playfully at her cast, making Patsy laugh. 

‘How’s work? What’s it like there?’ Delia asked. 

‘Dusty. Hot. Very hot. I’m lucky they’ve put me on nights so I’m not out in the sun, but blimey. Work is… busy,’ Patsy raked her fingers through her hair, ‘the doctor I’m taking over for is leaving in a few days and I’m basically shadowing her until she does. It’s quite different from Germany. By the time they get to us there they’ve already been patched up a bit, had some time to come to terms with their injuries and look forward to rehabilitation. Here, they come in right from the field bleeding everywhere and screaming… and then there’s the locals… the children,’ Patsy put her head in her hands and took a breath, ‘I knew this was coming and I thought I had prepared myself, but I guess I didn’t really know how I was going to feel until I got here. Until I saw it for myself.’ 

‘Are you OK?’ Delia asked, worried. The woman had seen enough trauma in her life and her heart ached for her. 

Patsy slowly nodded, looking back at Delia, ‘Yeah, it’ll be tough but I’ll be alright. If… there are people here I can talk to. Counselors and the like, if I need to. I promise I’ll talk to someone if it gets to be too much.’ 

Delia smiled, ‘Alright.’

Patsy sighed again, ‘I should probably let you go. Get some rest. 

‘You too Patsy, try and get some sleep.’ 

‘Not a problem so far. These long days have me worn out by the time I get back to my room. I’m basically comatose as soon as my head hits the pillow.’

‘Good! See? Six months will fly by.’ 

‘Yeah, only five months, three weeks, and three days to go,’ Patsy grumped. 

‘You’ll be just fine, cariad… and so will I,’ Delia smiled, ‘You call me soon, alright? I’ll make sure I always have my phone on me and fully charged.’ 

Patsy smiled, ‘OK.’ 

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ Patsy said, and the two disconnected their call.

* * *

Delia took terminal leave once she was released from hospital. She spent the following two weeks going through the administrative process of separating from the army. She collected an enormous binder full of paperwork with her name on it. It became full with her financial documents, her enlistment and medical records, and a plethora of handouts and pamphlets of resources she could sign up for as a veteran. It was rather overwhelming and her mother hovering around in her tiny flat didn’t help matters much. Before they left for Wales, Delia spent her last weekend in Germany showing her mother around. Her heart felt heavy visiting places she and Patsy had been to, but she kept reminding herself that the separation was temporary. Her friends Baldy, Taylor, and Hennen alleviated her sadness when they threw her a small party, one last get together before she had to go her separate way. 

Once back home in Wales, Delia tucked away in a safe place the crisp paperwork that said she was honorably discharged in case she needed it for something important. She had her uniforms folded up and in boxes, not quite knowing what to do with them, but knowing she wasn’t ready to give them up just yet. As the summer waned, she spent many hours sipping tea on the front porch in her rocking chair simply looking at the green hills, thinking about Patsy. None of this seemed fair, her being here. Her family by her side taking care of her, home cooked meals, no stressful job… no job at all at the moment. It was helping her body heal faster but her heart absolutely ached. She honest to god would have traded places with Patsy in a heartbeat. She reasoned that the best she could do was get well and show her all the love and support she could when she called. Delia wrote her letters every day thinking that having a little something arrive for her on a daily basis would cheer her up, keep her going.

As the weeks passed and the seasons changed, Delia did as she promised and buried herself in her studies. She spent many nights reviewing in the library and was rewarded by getting top marks in her class. Her TBI be damned. 

Finally finally finally. It was December. 

Patsy's first stop after Kandahar was at their base in Germany. Delia begged and pleaded with Patsy to let her come to Germany and meet her there, but she insisted she wait one week while she out-processed from the army and got her things together from storage to ship back to London. Patsy revealed that she had been in contact with her father while she was away. He reached out to her. At first she wanted nothing to do with him but relented after much thought. She was the only blood relative he had and he was working to make amends for whatever he had subjected Patsy to on her youth. Mr. Mount had a townhome in Spitalfields and would let Patsy and Delia stay there until they were able to get on their feet (a small token by his standards to redeem himself but Patsy refused I take anything more from the man). Over the last several weeks leading up to Patsy's homecoming and leaving the army, she and Delia had many phone calls and letters discussing what they were going to do. No matter what, they resolved to be together for it. Patsy wanted to go into midwifery and the more she talked about it the more appealing it sounded to Delia as a career trajectory. She mulled over changing courses but Patsy convinced her to finish out with her degree first and then take an access course. 

On Christmas day, Patsy caught a flight from Germany to Lakenheath, and while she was in the air, Delia drove half a day from Wales to meet her when she touched down. She was excited. The day they had been looking forward to had finally come. Delia counted down the hours until she was waved through the security gate on the base and she made her way towards the terminal. 

Palms sweaty and heart pounding in her chest, Delia entered the terminal and looked around, the screens in front of her showing that Patsy's flight had landed. She was here. She was here. 

Delia made her way to where the arrivals were exiting out from the terminal. She watched eagerly as they filtered out. It was agonizing. They came out one at a time with their bags, some in uniforms, some in civilian clothing, none of them Patsy. Delia started pacing, chewing on her fingers as she checked the screen a third and fourth time. Her plane had definitely landed. She shook her hands to relieve herself of the jitters. She thought about what they planned to do for the rest of the day, what they had talked about. Spending the rest of Christmas day in London, settling into their new home. She wanted to make her love a nice big meal and have a bath with her and spend the rest of the evening wrapped up in her arms adoring her and making love to her and kissing her and holding her. 

She wanted to… she wanted to… she wanted to take a nap. Delia paused and took a deep breath. She was tired from having driven most of the day. She closed her eyes and let out a big yawn. 

‘Delia!’ 

Delia’s head whipped around so fast her neck cracked. There, standing by the terminal gate was Patsy, dressed in her civilian clothing with her green duffel bag draped over her shoulder. She wore her hair back, a small smile graced her features that only grew bigger and bigger as she took in the sight of Delia standing there with a look of absolute awe on her face. 

Delia didn’t feel like taking a nap anymore. 

Her body filled with energy, and adrenaline coursed through her. She broke out into a run with a huge dimple inducing smile on her face and didn’t stop until her arms were tightly around Patsy. The taller woman dropped her bag and it fell to the floor with a thump as she wrapped her arms around Delia, lifting her off the ground and holding her. The two were giggling like idiots and rightfully not paying any mind to anyone around them who gave them the odd stare. 

Delia thought everything in this moment was perfect. She had always thought she had fit so well in Patsy’s arms and she had missed the feeling. Once she was back on her feet they just stood there silently and held each other for several moments, seemingly reacclimating to touching one another again, how they felt, how they smelled. Patsy sweetly kissed Delia on the top of her head. Delia looked up and grabbed onto Patsy's coat, pulling her down for a kiss, her hands letting go and reaching up to cradle Patsy's head in her hands. She kissed her again and again, her excitement giving way to giggles as they kissed. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and Patsy kissed them away. 

‘Are these happy tears?’ She asked. 

‘Of course they are!’ Delia laughed, ‘I’m so fucking happy you’re finally here,’ she laughed again, smiling shyly and nuzzled her face into Patsy's chest, still not believing this moment was finally here, that she was finally holding the woman she loved again. She smelled so wonderful. She felt so wonderful. Delia pulled away slightly and just looked at her, pink faced and smiling. Delia marveled at how anyone could look so beautiful. Though, she noticed those prominent cheekbones and jawline seemed a bit more sharp than usual. 

‘You’ve lost weight,’ Delia said, concerned. 

Patsy looked bashful, ‘No alcohol and running around stressed out for six months will do that to a person,’ Patsy quipped, ‘I’m shocked all my hair hasn’t turned white.’ 

‘You would just dye it anyway,’ Delia giggled, ‘Well, it’s no matter,’ she continued, taking hold of Patsy's hands, ‘I have lots of treats to share from back home to fatten you up with.’ 

Patsy smiled, but her eyes were sad as she took a good look at Delia. She absentmindedly raised her hand and feathered her finger along the scar over Delia’s right eyebrow. 

‘Delia, I’ve been thinking…’ Patsy started. 

‘Oh?’ 

‘Yes… I was wondering… do you… would you…’

‘Patsy, just say it,’ Delia looked down as she felt Patsy’s hand shaking slightly in hers, ‘Is everything alright?’

Patsy blinked and composed herself, ‘Sorry, it’s just, ever since your accident there’s been a subject I’ve wanted to discuss with you and it’s been on the tip of my tongue these last six months, but I thought it was too important to not talk about it in person. To ask you face to face.’ 

Delia blinked. Her heart lodged into her throat, ‘A-ask me?’ She asked, her voice a few octaves higher than she intended. 

Patsy nodded, ‘Deels… when you had your accident, several days passed before I even knew you had been hurt, and… and I don’t ever want that I happen again. It’s me I want them to call if anything ever happens to you. I want to be the one to come to you… to take care of you,’ she sighed, ‘and on top of that I just… these past few months we’ve been separated were almost unbearable. If it weren’t for your phone calls and letters, I don’t know what I would have done. I would have been completely heartbroken and I know…,’ she brought Delia’s hands to her mouth and kissed them, ‘I just love you so much. More than I have loved anyone in my whole life. I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.’

‘Oh, Pats… cariad,’ Delia searched her eyes and saw that they were growing as teary as hers were just then, ‘I don’t want that either. I always want to be with you. I love you so much…’ 

Delia could feel Patsy's hands trembling in hers again. She watched as Patsy bit her lip and looked down shyly, tears rolling down her cheeks. Delia smiled reassuringly and brought her hand to her cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumb. Her heart ached for the woman in her arms. She felt so nervous. 

‘I love you so much,’ Delia continued barely above a whisper, ‘that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’ 

She paused as she watched Patsy squeeze her eyes shut, more fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she sniffed. 

‘Do you want that, too?’ Delia asked, and Patsy nodded silently. 

Delia stood on her toes and kissed the corners of Patsy’s eyes, wiping the tears from her cheeks before pulling her in for a tight embrace. 

‘Patsy,’ she whispered in her ear, ‘I want to marry you.’ 

Delia giggled as she heard Patsy hiccup in her ear. The taller woman wrapped her arms tightly around Delia’s waist and said, ‘I want to marry you too.’ 

After a moment they pulled away, and Patsy harshly wiped the tears from her face, ‘Sorry… sorry. It’s been on my mind for months and I wasn’t expecting… I didn’t think…’

‘That you would be a blubbering mess?’ 

‘That’s not how I intended for that to go in my head but I’m happy it did,’ she let out a laugh, relieved. 

‘Did you really think I would say no?’ 

Patsy took a deep breath, composing herself as she shrugged, ‘I didn’t know what to expect.’

The two just looked at each other for a moment sharing the same goofy smile. Patsy eventually brought her hand up to brush the fringe out of Delia’s eyes, ‘I’m sorry I don’t have a ring,’ she took Delia’s left hand and placed a kiss in her ring finger, ‘this is the best I can do for now.’ 

‘It’s perfect,’ Delia sighed and kissed her again, pulling her in for a tight embrace. After several moments the two pulled away and Delia wiped tears from her eyes, ‘Goodness, this is absolutely my most favorite Christmas ever.’ 

Patsy laughed and smiled shyly, ‘Me too.’ 

‘Well then,’ Delia said, sounding resolved as she leaned down and grabbed Patsy's duffle bag, hoisting it over her shoulder, ‘let's get out of here so I can snog you properly,’ she grabbed Patsy by the hand and led the taller woman towards the terminal exit, ‘I’m looking forward to seeing this new home of ours in London. I need to make sure there’s enough room.’ 

‘Enough room? For what?’ 

‘To the new addition to our family.’ 

‘Deels, did you go ahead and have a baby while I was away?’ Patsy joked. 

Delia smiled and pulled out her phone, opening her photos, ‘Yes, I did actually. And she looks just like you,’ Delia held out her phone and showed Patsy a photo of a Brittany spaniel puppy with white fur and ginger spots over her ears and eyes. 

‘Da surprised me with her this morning. Said he couldn’t take any more of my moping and found this little one up for adoption from a neighbor.'

Patsy blinked, and Delia watched her expression change to one of endearment, a small smile on her lips, ‘I… I’ve never had a dog before. Always wanted one, though,’ she continued looking at the photo on Delia’s phone, ‘she’s very cute.’ 

‘Well she’s ours.’

‘Have you named her yet?’ 

‘Oh, I don’t know. Since she looks so much like you, I was thinking of calling her Doctor Girlfriend.’ 

Patsy playfully glared at her and Delia beamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww. Deployments are tough but absence makes the heart grow fonder! And these two are meant to be so of course they powered through it! 
> 
> [Kisses](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Kisses-747299389) and [Hugs](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Hugs-747299774)
> 
> Alright. Back to Danderson or LucnVal or whatever this fandom decides to call them. The whole gang is back in the next chapter including the new addition of the adorable Doctor Girlfriend.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucille and Valerie try to take that next step in their relationship and have a little hiccup along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride Month, ya'll! 
> 
> I have no other way to describe this chapter other than two queer women talking about their feelings. Super gay. Enjoy!

Valerie lay in bed on a warm Thursday evening. Her open window let through a breeze that gently fluttered the curtains and carried in the sounds of the street below. Cars going by, music playing, neighbors chatting as they passed by with their dogs or children. It was all background noise to Valerie, having lived with the sounds of the city her whole life. 

The day had been humid but relief was impending with the setting of the sun and the cool breeze from the window gently tickling Valerie’s bare legs. A paperback book was tucked between her left thumb and pinky as her eyes skimmed over the words of the novel. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Given to her by Lucille, of course, when the suggestion to watch the movie come up and it was revealed that Valerie had never read the book. Hadn’t known it was a book. 

‘I read this at the right time in my life and it helped me work through a lot emotionally,’ Lucille said as she handed over her own personal copy one evening. The spine was bent and the pages were soft and yellowing and Valerie could tell Lucille had read it several times over. 

Lucille never judged Valerie for her lack of reading but she was on a mission to expand her personal library. Valerie hadn’t expected to do so much reading at the beginning of a new relationship and yet, here she was. Not only that, but she was ready and willing to do it. Partly because she wanted to make Lucille happy, but she was enjoying the books she suggested and was quite touched that Lucille was sharing with her something she was so passionate about. Her reading was also encouraged by the fact that she was hardly ever alone when she did so. 

However, Valerie found it particularly challenging to read through her book this evening. She had to lay down the book on her stomach to turn the page with her left hand, as her right was currently pinned down, which grew rather tiring. Additionally, her eyes must have scanned the same page about six times now as the woman laying beside her growled in frustration once again as Mario leapt to his death in her hands, making Valerie lose her place and start over. 

Valerie finally closed her book and rolled over, wrapping her other arm around Lucille as she watched over her shoulder go through the motions once more on her gameboy to get Mario through the level. Again, Lucille let out a frustrated sigh as the character fell to his death in the same spot. 

‘Let me try.’ 

‘No, I can do it.’ 

Valerie looked on endearingly when the tip of Lucille’s tongue poked through her lips as she put in her full concentration to getting Mario through this level. Once more, he fell and the level started over. 

Lucille squirmed in Valerie’s arms, annoyed. Valerie kissed her shoulder and she calmed down. 

‘Fine, you do it.’ Lucille handed the gameboy over and Valerie played through the level while her arms were still around Lucille, who watched intently to see what technique Valerie knew that she didn’t. Valerie passed with ease through the spot Lucille was having trouble with and beat the level. 

‘What?! How did… what did you do?’ Lucille asked incredulously. 

Valerie handed the game back to Lucille, ‘You can only get that gold coin by doing a tuck and roll kind of jump. Otherwise you’ll just fall.’ 

‘No kidding,’ Lucille huffed as she took the game back and started the next level, ‘How did you get so good at video games anyway?’

‘Was playing them when I should have been doing something more worthwhile like studying or working,’ Valerie said against the back of Lucille’s neck before she kissed her there. She could feel the woman relax slightly in her arms. The fingers of her left hand grazed lazily over Lucille’s left arm, and she could feel her skin rise against her touch. Lucille took a deep breath as Valerie kissed her neck again. 

‘That feels good,’ Lucille murmured. 

‘Mmhmm,’ Valerie hummed, closing her eyes and continuing her soft kisses and touches. 

In the two weeks since their first date, the two had seen each other just about every night. On her Fridays off, Valerie would come into the library and they would sneak playful hugs and kisses behind tall bookshelves away from prying eyes and Valerie would take Lucille out to lunch and they would pick flowers in the park. Their Saturday evenings were spent going out and exploring parts of London that only the locals knew about. As proud as Lucille was to share her books, Valerie was just as proud to be able to share her knowledge of the city with Lucille. The looks that appeared on her face as she marveled at the sights and tasted the food and observed the people made Valerie’s heart swell with affection for the woman. It made her really happy to experience this with her. It made her feel special that it was her that Lucille chose to do these things with. 

On Sundays when Lucille spent all day in church, Valerie spent her time reading the ever growing list of assigned books from Lucille, and the two would meet afterwards and sit outside enjoying ice cream and watching the sunset while they chatted about whatever book Valerie was reading. During the week Lucille would come over and the they would venture into the garden and pick fresh vegetables and herbs and see what they could whip up for a late supper. They would spend those evenings making a mess in the kitchen and feeding each other over a glass of wine and cuddling on the sofa while they worked through their queue of television shows. Lucille always fell asleep against Valerie’s chest, always blaming her full belly and Valerie’s cozy embrace lulling her to sleep while they tried to watch tv. One evening Valerie let her sleep undisturbed and fell asleep on the sofa herself, though after waking with a crick in her neck from the arm rest that lasted a day and a half. The two resolved to only cuddle and watch their shows from the comfort of a bed with fluffy pillows from then on. The two women settled into a rather pleasant routine like this, alternating who stayed over where, though it was increasingly more likely that they would spend their evenings at Valerie’s as her mother was typically at the pub, leaving them alone in the house with Nikki to chaperone, of course. 

Before they started dating, Valerie had gathered that Lucille was a very affectionate person. The hand holding and shy cuddling did not at all go unnoticed by Valerie while they were becoming friends and getting to know each other. Lucille confessed after their date that she loved being touched, and Valerie was happy to finally have that implied consent to lean in and hold her or kiss her whenever she thought the moment was right. Lucille was very much the same in that she touched Valerie as much as possible, and Valerie hadn’t realized how much she missed it until it was actually happening. She had spent the last few years without such intimate contact that she had forgotten how good it was, and now that Lucille was around, she was addicted to her touches. It was challenging, though, to stop. Valerie had to find it within herself pull away several times to keep herself from moving faster than what Lucille was ready for. She wanted to respect Lucille’s wishes and wait, figuring she would let her take the lead for when she was ready. So far Valerie had been good about it, but it was tough to keep going without taking it that step or two further, especially now in this moment when Valerie could so easily slip her hand under her shirt, or under the hem of her shorts… between her legs…

Valerie gave a slightly frustrated sigh through her nose as she completely removed her hand from Lucille’s body and rolled onto her back. Her right arm was still pinned under Lucille’s head so she resolved to take a few deep breaths and try to go back to her book. 

‘Why’d you stop?’ Lucille asked. 

Valerie harrumphed and situated her book in her hand, ignoring that it was upside down. 

Lucille snapped her gameboy shut and turned around to face Valerie, ‘Are you grumpy?’ 

‘No,’ Valerie said, not sounding at all convincing. She kept her eyes on her book. 

Lucille hooked her finger under Valerie’s chin and gently turned her head so that Valerie looked her in the eye. 

‘Talk to me.’ 

Valerie clenched her jaw, suddenly shy. She felt a blush spread across her cheeks and bit her lip, realizing that she was rather unprepared to have this discussion with Lucille and hadn’t imagined that it would have a chance to come to fruition quite so soon in their relationship. She was completely at a loss of what to say. 

Lucille raised an eyebrow and looked at Valerie inquiringly, waiting. 

‘I, um… I just…’ God, how does one talk about this kind of thing without hurting the others feelings? Valerie thought, and Lucille looked back at her as if she could hear what she was thinking. 

Lucille leaned down and kissed Valerie sweetly on the lips. She brought her hand up and ran her fingers through Valerie's hair. Valerie could feel herself calm a bit, and leaned into her touch. 

‘What’s the matter?’ she asked kindly. 

Valerie sighed, deciding that honesty would be the best thing here, ‘I’m… I like touching you. A lot,’ Valerie felt a hot blush crawl across her face as she said these words. 

Lucille smiled, ‘Well good. I would hate to think that you hated it,’ she laughed. 

Valerie struggled not to roll her eyes, ‘No. I mean… it turns me on,’ she looked at Lucille pleadingly, ‘I have to stop myself from doing anything… you know.’ she shrugged, feeling terribly awkward, ‘anything you wouldn’t want me doing. Anything you aren’t ready for.’ 

‘Oh?’ Lucille asked, and Valerie raised an eyebrow at her. Lucille teasingly lifted Valerie's light cotton top with her index finger, ‘I turn you on?’ 

Valerie sighed with a tone of frustration, ‘Yes.’ 

‘And that bothers you?’ she asked as she leaned down and placed a kiss on Valerie's hip.

Valerie grit her teeth, ‘Yes.’ 

Lucille shifted so that she hovered over Valerie, her legs entangling themselves with Valerie’s. 

‘Why?’ 

‘Because you said you’re not ready for that kind of stuff, and,’ Valerie sighed, ‘I’m really attracted to you. I can only go so far with the kissing and touching before I want to do more. Only it’s just getting more frequent, so yes, I’m frustrated and it bothers me. I mean, I don’t want to pressure you but… do you… do you even feel the same way about me? Do you think about… um, that kind of stuff?’ 

Valerie cringed at how awkward she sounded. ‘That kind of stuff’? she thought, Valerie you’re an adult, just say sex, she told herself. 

‘I…,’ Lucille trailed off, searching for words. She nervously picked at a hem in Valerie’s bedsheet, ‘it’s not that… you know, that I haven’t been thinking about it.’

‘Oh?’ 

Lucille shyly nodded, ‘I think about it a lot, actually. I feel the same way,’ she added softly, ‘about you, when you touch me.’ 

Valerie smiled slightly, happy to know this wasn’t just affecting her. 

‘I mean, I do want to have sex with you eventually,’ Lucille continued, ‘I’m just… nervous,’ she looked at Valerie shyly, ‘I’ve never had sex with a woman before and… I just feel like I’ll have no idea what I’m doing.’ 

‘Oh,’ Valerie said, ‘is that all?’

Valerie was quite relieved to hear this. Based on her own experiences and the fact she knew Lucille tended to do a lot of research when she was passionate about something, Valerie was confident that Lucille would, in fact, have some idea of what she was doing. 

Lucille looked amused, ‘What do you mean _Is that all_?’

‘Lou, we’re both women here,’ Valerie said, ‘chances are I probably like the same things that you like,’ she reasoned. Valerie smiled as she watched Lucille shrug, the look on her face showing that she was considering Valerie’s words. 

Alright, maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as she thought. Maybe Lucille just needed some encouragement. 

‘Do you like me?’ Valerie asked. 

Lucille looked at her as if she had asked something absurd, ‘Yes, of course I like you. I like you very much.’ 

Valerie took a finger and playfully wrapped a bit of Lucille's hair around it, ‘Do you like my body?’ 

Lucille bit her lip shyly and then licked her bottom lip, her eyes traveling down the length of Valerie's body, taking her in, ‘Uh, yeah, I like your body.’ 

Lucille’s eyes lingered on Valerie’s long legs and this did not go unnoticed by Valerie. 

‘What do you like about it?’ She asked softly. 

‘I… I really like those legs of yours.’ 

‘Yeah?’ 

Lucille blushed and smiled, nodding shyly.

‘What would you like for me to do with them?’ Valerie asked. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Adrenaline was rushing through her veins and she was excited that this might actually be going somewhere tonight. 

Valerie watched as Lucille hesitated. Her mouth opened and closed again, searching for words she could not find. 

Valerie decided to try and take matters into her own hands. Or rather, her legs. 

‘Do you want them around you? Like this?’ Valerie shifted and wrapped her legs around Lucille’s hips, extracting an excited gasp from the woman above her. Valerie squeezed her knees together and pulled Lucille tight against her. The weight of Lucille’s body on top of hers felt so good. She had to close her eyes and steady herself. 

‘Do you like that?’ Valerie asked softly, opening her eyes again and gauging Lucille’s reaction. The woman above her was blushing. Valerie watched as that cute tongue poked out again to lick her lips as she nodded. 

Daringly, Valerie hoisted herself up on top of Lucille, pinning the woman down between her legs and hovered over her. 

‘You can touch them,’ she took Lucille’s hands and guided them over her thighs, ‘like this.’ 

Valerie leaned down and sweetly kissed Lucille, smiling a she felt the woman under her trail her hands down and up her thighs, roaming over her bum and under her top, caressing her hips. 

She sighed in Lucille’s ear, ‘I love how you’re touching me.’ 

Valerie giggled slightly as it seemed Lucille was at a loss for words as she simply nodded and continued roaming her hands lovingly over Valerie’s body. Lucille caught Valerie off guard when her mouth found an ear and tugged on it gently with her teeth. A sigh escaped Valerie’s lips as she pressed the length of her body against the woman under her. Lucille’s hands gripped Valerie’s bum and pulled her forward, their bodies grinding together enticing a gasp from both. 

‘Oh,’ Valerie sighed, ‘I liked that,’ she closed her eyes and placed a lazy kiss on Lucille’s neck. She swallowed a lump in her throat. The urge to grind herself against Lucille again was powerful but she held off, wanting to make sure it was alright to move forward. 

‘Can I do it again?’ she whispered in Lucille’s ear, kissing her there, ‘Would you like that?’ She asked, placing a hand on Lucille’s chest. She could feel her heartbeat. It was pounding so hard and fast that it worried Valerie. She pulled away slightly to see Lucille’s face. 

The woman looked absolutely petrified. 

Valerie sat up immediately, concerned. 

‘Lou,’ she looked intently at Lucille’s face, trying to read her, ‘Lou, what’s the matter?’ 

Valerie watched as Lucille’s face contorted, her lip quivering as she struggled to keep fat tears from escaping from her eyes. Valerie could feel her hands shake against her thighs where she was holding her. 

‘I… I’m sorry,’ she said, clenching her teeth, holding in a sob, ‘I thought I was over this. I thought… I thought I could do this…’ 

Valerie disentangled herself from Lucille and her brain momentarily clicked into nurse mode. 

‘Lou, what is it? I haven’t hurt you have I?’ Valerie’s eyes scanned up and down Lucille’s body to check for anything but stopped as she saw Lucille shake her head.

‘No… no, it’s me. It’s… I just need…’ she wiped the tears from her eyes and suddenly leapt out of bed and rushed to the bathroom in the hallway, closing the door behind her, leaving Valerie alone in her bedroom looking after her thoroughly confused and worried. 

What the hell just happened? 

Valerie stared at the doorway leading to the empty hall after Lucille. Her fists clenched the bedsheets as she replayed the last few moments in her head over and over again. Her heart felt that it was lodged in her throat and she swallowed, willing it to get back to its rightful place in her chest. 

Anxiety coursed through Valerie in an instant. Had she gone too far? Did she pressure Lucille into something that she wasn’t ready for? The very thing she feared she would do just happened, apparently. 

Valerie sat back on her heels and clutched at her chest, balling the soft threads of her top in her fist. 

Fuck, she thought, what have I done? 

Valerie closed her eyes and willed the tears away as she berated herself for her actions. She shouldn’t have said anything. She shouldn’t have done what she did. She shouldn’t have pressured Lucille. She wished she could go back to holding her here in her arms and reading her book. God, Valerie thought bitterly, why couldn’t she have just waited for Lucille to come to her? Why did she have to ruin everything by doing something she wasn’t ready for?

Valerie let out a sigh, the back of her hands coming to wipe the tears away as she slowly got out of bed and stood up. She felt horrible. She felt like a fucking monster. She hated herself in this moment. 

She had to try and at least rectify this situation. To apologize. 

Valerie slowly approached the bathroom door. She could hear water running from the sink. With a shaky hand, she knocked on the door lightly. 

‘Lou,’ she said softly, ‘Lou I’m really sorry…’ Valerie trailed off, not quite sure what to say. She looked down at her hands and nervously picked at her fingernails, ‘I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I didn’t mean to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable and I… if you want to leave… if you don’t want to see me anymore…’ Valerie felt tears prick at her eyes again as those words left her mouth. Fuck. She had really ruined everything. 

Valerie heard the water shut off and she took a step back as the door to the bathroom opened. Lucille looked as if she had been splashing water over her face. Her eyes were still teary as she wrapped her arms around Valerie and pulled her in for a tight embrace. Valerie was stunned for a brief moment, not expecting this at all, before she came back to her senses and returned the hug. She wrapped her arms around Lucille and held her tight. 

‘Are… are you alright?’ Valerie asked softly. 

‘Yes, yes, I’m alright.’ 

‘I’m sorry-‘

Lucille cut her off, ‘No. No, don’t apologize. You did absolutely nothing wrong,’ she cupped Valerie’s head in her hands and kissed her sweetly. She wiped the few tears that managed to escape from Valerie’s eyes and kissed her again, slow and sweet. Lucille took deep breaths and it seemed to Valerie that she was trying to rid herself of her own anxiety. 

‘I want to stay here. I want to be here with you. I don’t want to leave, I promise,’ Lucille’s fingers found their way through Valerie’s hair and came down her shoulders and chest to rest her palm over Valerie’s heart. 

‘It’s me…,’ Lucille looked back at Valerie with heavy eyes, ‘it’s my own issues that I thought I had… that I thought I had worked out. I liked everything you did. I didn’t want to stop, I just…’ Lucille struggled for words and Valerie gently cupped Lucille’s face in her hand and softly ran her thumb over her eyebrow. It seemed to calm Lucille. 

‘It’s alright,’ Valerie said, feeling quite relieved but also hating having to see Lucille troubled like this, ‘why don’t I go and make some tea? Might help us relax a bit?’ 

Lucille silently nodded and smiled sadly. 

The two silently separated, Valerie venturing down to the kitchen and Lucille back into the bathroom to freshen up. 

Valerie returned about 10 minutes later with two steaming mugs. The light in the bathroom was off, so she went back in her bedroom to find Lucille wrapped in her duvet, sitting on the floor cross legged, looking quite dour. The only part of Lucille’s body Valerie could see was her face, and despite how she was feeling, Valerie couldn’t help but think that Lucille looked exceptionally cute in that moment. She walked over to Lucille and sat next to her, bringing herself to lean against the bed frame. She placed the tea on the floor in front of Lucille, who sighed. 

‘I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed,’ Lucille covered her face with her hands. 

‘No need,’ Valerie instinctually reached out and placed a hand on Lucille’s knee, but pulled away, still unsure if touching her now was at all the right thing to do. ‘Sorry…’ Valerie said, nervously bringing her hands to wrap around her mug. 

‘Ugh, no,’ Lucille said, frustrated, ‘Val, you can touch me. I want you to…’ she trailed off, sighing stubbornly through her nose as she shifted, positioning herself between Valerie’s legs so that she leaned against Valerie’s front. She found Valerie’s arms and wrapped them around herself. Valerie sighed, relief washing over her as she buried her head in Lucille’s shoulder and she tightened her hold around her. 

‘That’s better,’ Lucille murmured. Valerie reached down and handed Lucille her tea, who mumbled a ‘thanks’ and gingerly sipped. Valerie could feel her relax in her embrace, and she sighed. 

The two remained quiet for many moments, sipping tea and steadying their breathing. Valerie ran her fingers through Lucille’s hair and she could feel Lucille relax into her, leaning into her touch. 

‘I’m sorry I reacted the way I did,’ Lucille finally said, ‘I liked what we were doing. I liked how you were touching me. I just…’ she sighed, frustrated. 

Valerie watched intently as Lucille closed her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed and she frowned, as if working to suppress a rather painful memory. 

‘The way I feel… my sexuality… I’ve been told my whole life it's wrong and I spent so much of my life denying that part of myself. Ignoring it,’ she ran her fingers through her hair and opened her eyes, staring at her tea, ‘until I just couldn’t, and I… I spent so much time working it out within me, you know? So much time working to emotionally come to terms with it and I thought... I had. I thought I was ready… but I... I just feel so much anxiety around it. So much shame. I feel like I want something I’m not supposed to, that I don’t deserve, and I’m a bad person because of it.’ 

Valerie felt instinctively protective of Lucille. How dare whomever did this to her make her feel shame for something that was completely natural. But then Valerie realized it was her parents. It was her culture. It was society and religion and the world and a plethora of other things that had made her grow up with this deep seeded intrinsic shame of herself. How she was born. There were a whole bunch of factors out of Valerie’s control and it was suddenly overwhelming. 

All this was entirely new territory for Valerie and she had no idea how to even navigate through this. 

‘Lou…’ she started, hoping she sounded sincere. She placed her hand over Lucille’s heart, ‘I hate that you feel this way about yourself. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and… I wish I could take it away. All this pain you’re harbouring.’ 

Lucille smiled kindly and placed her hand over Valerie’s, ‘Val, that’s very sweet of you, but this is something I need to work through-‘ she looked as if she was about to continue but stopped as Valerie responded. 

‘Well, that doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. I mean,’ Valerie huffed, ‘I have no idea what I’m doing or even know what I could say to help, but I can at least be there for you. Be by your side while you work through this. There’s bound to be books out there. Support groups. Counseling… I’m sure we can find something that would… I don’t know, help you work out whatever it is you need. We can do it together.’ 

Her eyes met Lucille’s and it was the most intense gaze anyone had ever given her. She found it rather intimidating. 

‘If… if you want, that is,’ she finished, quiet and shy under Lucille’s gaze. For a moment she thought that maybe she shouldn’t have presumed that this was something she could just jump right in and help fix. Then Lucille turned slightly so that she could place a sweet kiss on Valerie's lips. Valerie adjusted to their new position and cradled Lucille’s head in the crook of her elbow while she wrapped her other arm around her waist, the duvet fluffy and cool against her skin. 

‘I genuinely think that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,’ Lucille smiled, but then her expression changed. She looked down, sad, ‘though you don’t have to… you shouldn’t have to wait around for someone like me… it’s not fair to you. You should go out and date someone who isn’t emotionally stunted and can give you what you want.’

Valerie raised an eyebrow. 

‘I have a question,’ she asked. 

‘Hmm?’ 

‘How does it make you feel? The thought of me going off and dating other women?’ 

Valerie watched as Lucille processed this question, the muscles in her jaw flexing as she clenched her teeth. She blinked a few times and took a few deep breaths before responding slowly, ‘Fine.’

‘Bloody liar. You’re seething with jealousy just at the thought.’ 

Lucille huffed, looking bashful. She bristled in Valerie’s arms, squirming slightly, ‘Well I like you a lot, alright? I’m just… I don’t want you to think you’re stuck with me when you’re not getting something out of this relationship you really want. I’m not worth it.’ 

‘Bollocks. You’re absolutely worth it, emotionally stunted or not, and you’re not to think otherwise. Especially when you’re here looking all cute wrapped up in my arms,’ she leaned down and nibbled Lucille’s neck, causing her to giggle. 

The two pulled away slightly with smiles on their faces. Valerie looked down adoringly at Lucille and was overwhelmed with the need to kiss her. Feeling playful, she leaned down and kissed Lucille’s eyebrows, her eyelids, the tip of her nose. Lucille’s giggles turned into happy sighs as Valerie feathered kisses over her cheeks and chin. Finally their lips met in a sweet and playful kiss. Lucille reached up to cup Valerie’s face in her hand to hold her there. Their kissing slowed, and Valerie's grip around Lucille tightened, holding her body to her as close as she could. Mouths opened and eyes closed as their kissing became more sensual, more intimate. Lucille sighed happily as Valeries tongue grazed over her own, and gently licked the underside of her top lip. 

‘I love how you kiss me,’ Lucille sighed before she captured Valerie's mouth with her own, gently tugging on her bottom lip. 

Valerie smiled, ‘I’d be perfectly happy holding you like this and kissing you all night,’ she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, ‘except, you know, I need to go on a bunch of dates now with all the women queueing at my door.’

Lucille playfully wacked Valerie on the forehead and Valerie reciprocated by biting Lucille’s finger. The two burst into a fit of giggles, and Lucille reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Valerie’s ear. They shared a loving glance for several moments before Lucille parted her lips, looking as if she wanted to say something but not quite knowing how. 

‘What is it?’ Valerie asked softly. 

‘Oh, I just… I was wondering when you knew when you were gay.’ 

Valerie smiled, ‘Oh, that.’ 

‘You’re one of those people whose always known, haven’t you?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Pretty much. Though I didn’t know what it was until I was a teenager. Probably around 14 when I went to a mates sleepover birthday party and I saw porn for the first time. I remember not even being remotely interested in the men but very interested in the women.’ 

‘And it didn’t bother you? Feeling the way you felt?’ 

‘Nah, I mean, it answered a lot of questions I had about myself at the time. Pretty much answered why kissing blokes never did anything for me. Though, I guess we were also just kids and horrible kissers.’ 

Lucille giggled at this, ‘I can’t imagine you being a horrible kisser ever.’ 

‘Hey, I’m only going to get better with practice,’ she smiled, ‘Come here,’ and pulled the woman in her arms even closer to her, placing light and playful kisses on her nose and cheeks. Lucille giggled, closing her eyes and relishing having Valerie kiss her. The two pulled away and Lucille lovingly held Valerie's head in her hand and stroked her cheek with her thumb. 

‘Did you come out then? When you realized?’ she asked. 

Valerie shook her head, ‘I kept it to myself because I didn’t want my friends thinking I fancied any of them, really. Though, I do remember gobbling up anything remotely having to do with lesbians. Music, movies, books,’ Valerie shrugged, ‘I suppose that was my baby-dyke phase.’ 

Lucille raised an eyebrow, ‘Your what? I feel like that’s another bad word to use but I imagine you’ll tell me otherwise?’ 

‘Baby-dyke?’ 

‘Yeah. What the heck is that?’ 

Valerie grinned, ‘Oh, just a phase.’ 

‘A phase?’

‘Yeah, you know. It’s hard to describe. It’s like a new lesbian and they’re trying to figure themselves out, and sometimes they’re horribly awkward in the process. Like a giraffe taking their first steps.’ 

‘Oh no, Lucille laughed, ‘Am I being a baby giraffe right now?’ 

‘Nah. I mean, a baby-dyke is cute, but seeing them in action out in the wild is hard to watch.’

‘Like a baby giraffe?’

‘Precisely. But honestly I can’t tease them because it’s tough out there, you know? You’re raised and taught how to date the opposite sex, and you typically get all that awkwardness out of the way when you’re in your early teens, and then when you realize you’re gay later in life you have to go through it all over again.’

‘I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m going through now.’

‘No way.’

‘You’re biased.’

‘No, really! Well, first, you’re bi, so not really baby-dyke but close, and second, you were completely not awkward when you told me you liked me. You were and are downright up front and not shy with your flirting, I’ll tell you that.’

‘I was totally awkward when I told you I liked you!’

‘Ok, maybe I am biased because it was totally fucking cute,’ Valerie looked down at Lucille with mock suspicion, ‘makes me think I’m not the first woman you’ve ever been out with?’

Lucille rolled her eyes, ‘I told you I’ve never slept with another woman.’

‘I’m not talking about sex.’

‘I… Oh,’ Lucille blinked, and she gave a sad smile, ‘well I’ve…’ Lucille looked forlorn all of a sudden and Valerie panicked. 

‘Oh, well I mean, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want…’ 

‘No, no, it’s alright, I’m just… I haven’t thought about it in awhile. I did… well, we never dated… barely talked ever, really…’ 

Lucille trailed off and Valerie stayed quiet, waiting for her to find the words to continue. 

‘There was this girl back home… Melody… she was dating a friend of my boyfriends at the time so we always ran into each other at parties,’ Lucille shrugged, playing with a loose thread on the duvet, ‘at some point we were left alone together out in the garden while the boys went out for some food or something. I can’t remember how it happened but all I remember is that she leaned over and kissed me and we didn’t stop until the boys got back.’

‘That’s not… that’s not when you realized you were bi, right?’

‘Oh, no… I was a bit younger when I realized I fancied both men and women, but I never had the guts to come out to anyone or ever make the first move.’

‘So what happened with Melody?’ 

Lucille sighed, leaning her head against Valerie’s shoulder, ‘Well… when the boys got back that first time we carried on like it hadn't happened. It was awfully confusing because I didn’t know whether she liked me or not. We never talked about it, but after that, whenever we got together at parties she would pull me away and we would kiss.’ 

‘Really? You didn’t talk about it at all? Just let it happen?’

‘Well I mean… yeah. If a pretty woman started kissing you… would you want her to stop? Especially when you’ve never done it before but had always wanted to? The opportunity just landed in my lap, basically, so I just… let it happen.’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘Yeah, I suppose if those were the circumstances, I would let it happen, too,‘ Valerie took a moment to stroke Lucille's cheek, hoping the affectionate gesture would make her feel like she could keep talking. 

‘Did you like her?’ Valerie asked. 

‘I… I feel bad for saying this, but, I hardly knew her. Like I said, we only ever saw each other at parties. We were acquaintances. Maybe she was bi, too. Maybe she was in the same boat as I was and just wanted the experience and I just happened to be… there.’ 

‘So it never went further than kissing then?

Lucille shook her head, ‘No. No, it never went further than that… and I’m kind of thankful because… well… we were caught.’

‘Oh?’

Lucille nuzzled her head even more into Valerie's shoulder and brought the duvet more close around her body. 

‘It was her cousin. I can’t remember his name, but he was really angry. The music was really loud and we couldn’t hear him coming, but… he started yelling. Started making threats. He told us he would tell our boyfriends and our fathers and let them deal with us. It was really scary. He looked so… repulsed. So disgusted. Seeing his face didn’t make it hard for me to imagine the same expression on my father if he found out…’ 

Lucille trailed off and Valerie simply held her tight, placing a light kiss on her forehead. 

‘I never saw her again after that. The last I heard was that she married her boyfriend, so…’ she sighed and took a sip of her tea, ‘I think getting caught scared her and she… did what she needed to do to convince her cousin that she wasn’t… that whatever we were doing wasn’t serious or… I don’t know.’ 

Lucille put her mug of tea back down on the floor and snuggled again into Valerie’s embrace. 

‘The experience left me… unwilling to pursue anything with anyone else. With another woman. I was too scared that a similar experience would happen. It was one of the driving motivators to get out of the country, like I said that first night you came over for dinner. To get away from everyone I knew so I could just… have the relationships I wanted without any of that negative interference, and…’ Lucille trailed off, shrugging, ‘so that’s it. That’s my only experience with a woman and it wasn’t passionate or romantic or… fulfilling. Not like this.’ 

She cupped Valerie’s face in her hand and placed a loving kiss under her ear that caused Valerie’s heart to race and her ears to turn red. 

‘Like this?’ Valerie repeated. 

‘Yeah. Like this. What we have here. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I just… I just think you’re wonderful,’ Lucille stroked her thumb over Valerie’s cheek as she continued, ‘you’re just so beautiful and caring. You’re patient and you listen and I just… I’m very much smitten with you, you know.’ 

Valerie smiled bashfully, feeling her whole face turn red now as she closed her eyes and tried to hide her face in Lucille’s hand, ‘I don’t know how to take all these compliments.’ 

‘They’re not compliments,’ Lucille said, placing sweet kisses under Valerie’s ear, ‘They’re the truth.’ 

Lucille softly grazed he nose along Valerie’s jawline, gently coaxing Valerie to face her with her hand until their lips met in a soft kiss. Valerie’s eyes closed and her grip tightened around her. She tried to convey all the emotion she was feeling in that moment through her kiss, the love and affection she felt for Lucille, wrapped up in her arms and making her feel this way, all these wonderful things. Appreciated. Cared for. Loved. The two had to catch their breath as they pulled away. 

‘I really do mean it,’ Lucille said with heavy eyes, ‘I like you a lot, Val,’ she ran her fingers through Valerie’s hair as she nuzzled her nose against her neck and placed lazy kisses there, ‘I just need some time. I thought I was there but I need some more time to get over this hang up I have…’

‘No rush,’ Valerie said shyly, ‘and… I don’t… I don’t really know what I’m doing, but if I can do anything to help…’ 

Lucille kissed her sweetly on the lips, ‘You are helping. You’re doing it now just by being yourself.’ 

Valerie gave a shy smile, her heart fluttering in her chest at Lucille’s words. She leaned into Lucille’s hand as the woman ran her fingers through her hair for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night. Valerie was certain no matter how many times she did it, it would never grow old. She would always love it. 

Valerie watched as Lucille suppressed a yawn, pulling her from her thoughts. 

‘Are you ready for bed?’ she asked softly. 

‘I think so,’ Lucille said sleepily, looking back at Valerie, suddenly shy. ‘Can I stay?’

‘Of course,’ Valerie said, placing a sweet kiss on Lucille’s forehead, ‘Always.’

The two disentangled themselves and moved from the floor to the bed, shifting and making themselves comfortable under the duvet. Valerie laid down on her stomach with her head turned towards Lucille, her hand holding Lucille’s as she brought it to her mouth to pace light kisses along her fingers and knuckles. Lucille laid on her side, her other hand reaching over to slowly and lovingly reach under Valerie’s shirt, her fingers lightly running up the soft skin of her back and between her shoulders. Valerie sighed at the touches, her skin tingling and hear heart beating in her chest from the sensation and special attention. Lucille continued to lightly caress Valerie’s back until Valerie’s eyes closed and her breathing became heavy, and eventually drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Lucille rolled onto her back, never letting go of Valerie’s hand as she watched her sleep. The breeze from the window kept the room cool and Lucille closed her eyes, her breathing gradually slowing, until she too, fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Car totaled, two vacations, a birthday, a wedding, new car shopping, and full time work. I'm surprised I even made it to 6k words this chapter. Let's hope I have a much more boring week next week and bring the gang all back for a fluffy fun chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> [Cuddles](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Cuddles-748694315?ga_submit_new=10%3A1528410429)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucille and Valerie surpass a milestone in their relationship and have a fun evening out with the gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue, dialogue, and more dialogue. Hope ya'll like dialogue. 
> 
> Lots of relationship development for our two protagonists and then it gets pretty silly in the end with the rest of the girls. Talking Karaoke and 'bum' fights. Hope you like it.

Valerie sipped her wine, her head in her hand as she sat with her legs crossed on the bench in the garden of Lucille's home. The aforementioned woman was in the kitchen, collecting the things needed to make Valerie a ‘proper’ jerk chicken kebab, something she had been adamant in making for Valerie and this evening provided to be the first opportunity. Valerie had been given the task of keeping an eye on the grill while the charcoal burned, and the smell of it already had Valerie's mouth watering. She was looking forward to Lucille's rendition of jerk chicken, even if Valerie left that evening crying and red faced from the spiciness. 

Valerie watched the sky as it turned from dusk to night, the last of the setting sun giving way to beautiful violets and reds and the few stars that could be seen poked through darkness. It reminded Valerie of the night she and Lucille sat together by the docks and looked at the few planets they could see through the lights of the city. The thought of that first evening of theirs together made her smile, and she contemplated the chances of getting Lucille out of the city for a night or two to actually go and see the stars. Was it too soon for something like that? A weekend away? Would the prospect make Lucille anxious? After their conversation the night before, Valerie didn’t think Lucille would want to worry that she would expect anything more than what she was comfortable with, and she didn’t want Lucille to get the wrong idea if she suggested they get away for a few nights. As much as Valerie would love to have a weekend away with Lucille, she thought it best to let some more time pass before she suggested such an outing. 

Valerie was pulled from her thoughts as the door creaked open and clicked shut, and Lucille appeared with a tray of skewers and a freshly opened bottle of wine. Valerie jumped up to help. 

‘Evangelina was just a nightmare today,’ Lucille mentioned, handing Valerie the bottle of wine, ‘she’s on the warpath making the lot of us prepare the library for the impending term. She went on like an army sergeant today, double and triple checking our work. I thought Cynthia was going to burst into tears from the stress.’ 

‘Oh, really?’ Valerie quipped, amused. Having seen Evangelina, it wasn’t hard for her to imagine her in the green camo uniform with a black cap, the rim of it pushed all the way to her nose, hurling spit and insults as she screamed in some poor souls ear over something petty and insignificant. 

‘Oh, well, I suppose you would know more about that than I,’ Lucille mumbled shyly. 

‘I assure you, it’s just like in the movies. I can certainly see Evangelina being good at something like that; waking up every single day and being a complete tosser, getting her kicks off making others miserable. It makes me wonder if she’s in the wrong career.’ 

Lucille shrugged as she placed a few skewers down on the grill, ‘She started working at the library back in the 70’s. It was a different time. She probably didn’t know something like that was an option for her.’

‘Well if she went in now, I think it would be the perfect profession for her.’ 

Lucille raised an eyebrow, ‘Are they really that mean? All the time?’ 

‘Well, they have to be. It’s all a mind game,’ Valerie looked up, thinking back on her time in basic training, ‘the idea is to keep you stressed out and to train you to follow orders without hesitation. Like, if you’re out in the field and someone yells at you to ‘get down’, you get down. If you hesitate, you could die.’ 

‘Sounds mad,’ Lucille shook her head, ‘I couldn't do something like that ever.’ 

‘It wasn’t so bad. It’s not like they could physically hurt you… though they did punish us with PT if we cocked something up.’

‘Oh yeah? They really make you drop and give them 20?’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘Yeah, 20 pushups, roll over, 20 leg lifts with those heavy as fuck boots on, roll over, 20 more pushups, ad infinitum until you were rolling around in a pool of your own sweat or they grew bored with you. And then they would go in and kick over our beds and rifle through our lockers and have us make the beds and fold everything perfectly again until they were satisfied. All this took hours and they wouldn’t let us eat until it was all back in perfect order.’

‘They sound like complete bullies.’ 

‘Yeah, well, they’re trying to train you for war, so,’ Valerie shrugged, ‘I will say as much of a pain as it was, I left basic in the best physical condition of my life. I actually had a six-pack, Lucille. It was beautiful,’ Valerie sighed nostalgically and patted her belly, ‘now all I have is a keg.’ 

Lucille giggled and flipped the chicken on the grill, ‘More to love.’ 

Valerie bit her lip, the three words uttered by Lucille suddenly making her heart race and feel happier than she had been all day. She was overcome with the urge to kiss Lucille, though the rational part of her brain suggested that may not be a good idea with her being so close to the grill. She settled for placing a kiss on that beautifully exposed brown shoulder of hers. 

Lucille turned to her, smiling, ‘Come here, give me a kiss.’ 

Valerie leaned in and happily obliged. 

The chicken and pineapple on the grill sizzled and smoked, making Valerie’s mouth water, ‘That smells so good,’ she said as she pulled away. 

Lucille turned back to the grill and flipped the skewers once more, ‘Thanks, though I should warn you, this might actually kill you.’

‘Not to worry. I knew this was coming and I’ve already drafted a will,’ Valerie said, moving to sit back down on the bench as Lucille plated the skewers, ‘I’ve decided to leave all my assets to Nikki.’

‘How practical of you,’ Lucille remarked as she joined Valerie on the bench, placing their dinner on the table in front of them, ‘what do you suppose she would spend it all on?’

Valerie poured Lucille a glass of wine, ‘Oh, I imagine she would heavily invest in bits of string with feathers tied to the ends of them. Maybe treat herself to something nice like a scratching post made to look like my mums nice recliner. My mum’s terribly fond of it, so quite naturally it’s Nikki’s favorite thing to tear up.’ 

‘Just how old is Nikki?’ Lucille asked, leaning into the bench and getting comfortable. 

‘Old. She’s at least 20. I don’t ever remember not having her around.’ 

‘Well,’ Lucille raised her glass, ‘here’s to another 20 years for Nikki.’ 

The two clinked their glasses and took a sip, smiling slightly. 

‘I hope she lasts that long. She has at least my CD collection to look forward to if I go tonight.’ 

‘Let’s hope not. I kind of like having you around. Here,’ Lucille dipped her pinky finger in a bit of the sauce and held it out for Valerie to taste, ‘have a bit and see if you can handle it.’ 

Blushing slightly, Valerie wrapped her lips around the tip of Lucille's finger and tasted the sauce, much too shy to make eye contact with her. There was certainly a kick to it that made Valerie’s mouth hot, but it was evened out by the sweet and tangy taste of the pineapple. 

Valerie licked her lips, opening her eyes to see Lucille looking back at her, a blush spread across her own cheeks as she bit her lip. 

‘I… um, I think I can handle it,’ Valerie said quietly, working to ignore how suddenly turned on she was. She took a sip of wine and looked away from Lucille, concocting ways in her mind on how to turn the tables on the woman soon enough. Even if she wasn’t ready for sex, Valerie could still try and drive her a bit crazy. Though, Lucille seemed to be an expert at it herself. 

Valerie reached for a kebab and dug right in, needing something to occupy her mouth so she wouldn’t say something stupid. As expected, the chicken was hot and her mouth burned. She could feel herself breaking out into a cold sweat before she chomped on a pineapple, the sweetness countering the heat in her mouth and evening things out again. 

Before she knew it, she and Lucille had finished off the skewers and were tossing the bare sticks aside. 

‘Oh, god, that is good,’ Valerie said, finishing off her last bite. She looked over to Lucile who looked cool as a cucumber while she nibbled on her chicken, the hot spices seemingly having no effect on her. 

Lucille smiled, sucking off a bit of sauce that dripped down her wrist and Valerie had to look away. 

‘Glad you like it. How are you handling it?’

‘’M alright,’ she mumbled, blinking back tears from the heat. 

Lucille hummed in acknowledgement and brought her thumb to her mouth, licking off a bit of the sauce that had dripped to her fingers. Emboldened by the wine and the drive to wind up the woman next to her, Valerie gently grasped Lucille's hand and pulled it away from her mouth. 

‘I want just a little bit more,’ she said, guiding Lucille's hand to her mouth and wrapping her lips around her index finger. Valerie closed her eyes, resisting the urge to smile devilishly at the sound of Lucille's breath hitching in her throat as Valerie’s tongue swirled around the digit. The finger left her mouth with a ‘pop’ and she moved onto the middle finger, barely opening her eyes to look at Lucille. The woman next to her looked completely transfixed, a blush spread across her cheeks, lips parted. She squirmed in her seat slightly and Valerie couldn’t help but smile this time as she released the finger from her mouth. Lucille was reacting exactly as she wanted her to. 

She cradled Lucille’s hand in hers as she placed fat kisses along her palm and wrist. Valerie could feel the skin on Lucille’s arm rise in little bumps as she continued to touch and kiss her. With one last teasing bite on the soft underside of Lucille's wrist, Valerie released her hand and leaned back on the bench, scooping up her own glass of wine and taking a sip. She eyed Luciles reaction, amused, as she seemed to be taking several moments blinking, catching her breath, and trying to come back into the moment. 

‘Had enough?’ Lucille asked, blinking back the lust in her eyes. There was a challenge in her tone, and she looked as if she were ready to pounce, but kept still, waiting for Valerie to reply. 

Valerie smiled behind her glass and wiggled her eyebrows, ‘For now,’ she lied. It would never be enough. 

Lucille took another deep breath and relaxed a little in her seat, taking the bottle of wine and pouring herself another glass. 

‘You’ve just reminded me of something I wanted to ask you,’ Lucille said softly. 

‘Oh?’ 

‘Yeah… I wanted to bring it up last night when we were talking… but wasn’t sure… wasn’t sure if it was appropriate.’ 

This made Valerie curious. She sat up in her seat, her disposition changing from that of teasing girlfriend to attentive one. 

‘What is it?’ 

Lucille swirled the wine in her glass, seemingly shy and not able to meet Valerie's eyes. 

‘I was just wondering… and please, if you don’t feel like sharing you absolutely don’t have to answer…’ 

‘OK, now I really want to know what you want to ask,’ Valerie quipped, taking a sip of her wine. 

‘What was it like the first time you had sex?’

The bluntness of her question shocked Valerie and she found herself choking on her wine mid-sip. She pulled it away from her mouth and coughed it down. 

‘Ah, see, OK, I’m sorry, it’s none of my business-’

‘No, no, Lou,’ Valerie said after she composed herself, ‘it’s alright, really, just took me off guard.... But I guess… what was it like?’ she repeated, laughing, ‘How in depth of a description do you need?’

Lucille rolled her eyes, ‘Val, I understand the basic mechanics of everything that goes down.’

Valerie couldn’t help but snicker at her choice of words, to which Lucille seemed completely oblivious. 

‘...but I just want to know if… I mean, how did it feel, um, emotionally? Was it… did it feel different, like, because it was with another woman, or…’ Lucille trailed off. Valerie watched the woman next to her become more red with each passing second as she chewed nervously on her lip and swirled the wine in her glass. 

Valerie put down her glass of wine and placed a hand over Lucille's, meeting her eyes, ‘Alright, so, before I get into it I just want to say that I’ve never in my life ever felt sexually or romantically attracted to a man. I’m very much a lesbian, so, no, the first time I had sex it didn’t feel _different_.’ 

Lucille nodded in understanding and Valerie squeezed her hand before letting go. She picked up her wine and leaned back against the bench, looking up towards the sky in thought. 

‘So… let me think,’ she said, swirling her wine, ‘I had snogged girls from my class and such when I was younger, but didn’t have sex until I was out of school. I was 18 and just starting to go out to the clubs and stuff. Met a girl named Magda and we seemed to hit it off. It was just odd because we never really flirted and I never would have guessed she even fancied me. So, we went out a few more times and still it didn’t feel like we clicked, but she kept asking me out and I kept going. Figured she just wanted to be mates. Then one night we stayed out late talking and I missed the last train home. She suggested I stay over. I figured I would be sleeping on the sofa, but she brought me to her room. As soon as the lights went off she kind of pounced on me and we took it from there.’ 

‘Really?’ Lucille looked concerned, ‘That was your first time? With someone you didn’t even like?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Well, I mean, I didn’t _not_ like her. If I didn’t want it to happen I would have stopped it. The opportunity presented itself and I kind of just went with it,’ Valerie sighed, taking a sip of wine, ‘Sort of like with you and that girl, Melody? Things just started happening and I didn’t stop it because I wanted the experience, I suppose. I don’t regret it at all, and as for how it felt, like you asked, it felt absolutely natural. It was… I don’t know how else to describe it other than instinctual. Almost feral. My body just kind of knew what to do and took over. Like, we just went at it like two stags fighting in the wild.’

‘Goodness,’ Lucille quipped, wide eyed and blushing from behind her glass of wine. 

Valerie shrugged, bringing a hand over her face to cover the blush that was spreading across her cheeks, ‘Well that’s just how I remember it, anyway.’ 

‘I’m sure,’ Lucille smirked, ‘Are you always so aggressive?’ 

Valerie visibly bristled, ‘I don’t… I’m not…’ Valerie growled as Lucille attempted to stifle a laugh, ‘I’m not aggressive. I’m passionate!’ 

Lucille only smiled from behind her glass of wine, looking at Valerie through heavy eyes. Valerie could only imagine what she was thinking, but it didn’t take much, seeing the way the woman next to her was eyeing her.

Valerie huffed, eager to move the attention away from herself, ‘Well, what about you, then?’

‘Hmm?’ Lucille asked, ‘You mean my first time?’

‘Yeah, I told you mine. What’s yours?’ 

Lucille shrugged, swirling her wine in her glass as she looked up in thought, ‘Oh, you know, it was alright. It was with my boyfriend at the time. We were 17. It was terribly awkward since we were both virgins, but you know,’ she shrugged, ‘it got better, I suppose.’ 

‘You suppose?’ 

‘Yeah, I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had some really hot sex with my past boyfriends, but I’ve just never… I was never able to… you know.’ 

Valerie's jaw dropped and she struggled to keep a tight hold on the glass of wine in her hand. 

‘Lou… no,’ she said with a tone of disbelief. 

Lucille put her head in her hands and looked thoroughly embarrassed, ‘Val, it’s not… I can do it myself I’ve just never been able to do it with someone else.’ 

Valerie remained in a state of disbelief, ‘Oh, Lou...’ she trailed off, her thumb and forefinger coming to pinch the bridge of her nose. 

Lucille playfully shoved Valerie, ‘Shush, now. I don’t need your pity.’ 

A myriad of things ran through Valerie's mind for ways in which she could rectify this situation, but she decided to keep them to herself for the time being. She leaned back in thought, processing everything Lucille had told her just now and over the course of the few weeks they had been dating and talking about these things. Her hang-ups on her sexuality and now this revelation that she’s never had an orgasm with a partner? Puzzle pieces were interlocking in Valerie’s brain and she swirled her wine. She wasn’t there quite yet, but she had a hunch that Lucille might find it challenging to stay in that certain headspace one needed during sex to just let go. Valerie tucked that hunch away for use later and turned her attention back to a wildly blushing Lucille. 

‘So, your mind been on sex lately, hmm?’ Valerie asked teasingly. 

‘You… uh,’ Lucille blinked, looking as if she was having a hard time staying on her train of thought, ‘you putting my fingers in your mouth kind of kickstarted it for the evening.’ 

Valerie leaned close to Lucille and smiled as if she were sharing a juicy piece of gossip, ‘Yeah, it’s hot, right?’ 

Lucille giggled shyly, nodding, ‘Yeah, I don’t… no one has ever done that to me before. No one has ever really…’ Lucille bit her lip and looked away. Valerie had to suppress a smile as she was immensely enjoying this kind of reaction from Lucille, ‘No one has ever really touched me quite like you do, I’ve noticed,’ she finally finished. 

Valerie perked up, ‘How do you mean?’

‘Well, first, it’s wonderful. Always wonderful. It’s… um,’ she shrugged, shaking her head, finding her words, ‘it’s sensual. I have no other word for it than that. It’s certainly different from any boys I’ve ever been with.’ 

Another puzzle piece appeared in Valerie’s head and she tucked it away with the rest, the picture becoming more and more clear to her. 

‘I’m reminded of what you said last night,’ Lucille continued, ‘that we’re both women and I probably like the same things that you like,’ she said, reaching over for Valerie's hand and intertwining their fingers, ‘The way I felt just then when you were… I mean, it made me think that you must like having your fingers sucked on, too.’

Valerie whipped her hand away from Lucille's grasp, ‘Oh, no you don’t!’ she remarked playfully, ‘None of that until you’re absolutely ready to go all the way.’

Lucille laughed, ‘Why’s that?’ she scooted closer, ‘Does it turn you on?’ 

Valerie scooted to the far side of the bench, crossing her arms and tucking her hands under her armpits, completely obscuring her hands from Lucille's view and grasp. 

‘Yes it does, and I can’t stand it. If you keep winding me up I’m going to hulk out from sexual frustration and tip over this pot of basil or something.’ 

Lucille ominously started crawling on the bench towards Valerie with a wide smile, ‘Oh, no, we can’t have that. I paid £2 for it at the Tesco discount bin. It would be a terrible shame if you got too worked up and kicked it over…’ 

Hands still wedged under her armpits, Valerie brought her knee up to Lucille's chest to keep her from getting closer, ‘Yeah, so if you don’t want your £2 to go to waste you’ll get back to your side of the bench, missy.’ 

Lucille pressed into Valerie’s knee and hovered over her, ‘Aw, come on.’ 

‘No.’ 

‘Just a little.’ 

‘No!’ 

‘I want to know what they taste like.’ 

Valerie was blushing profusely now, her head thrashing from side to side as she exclaimed, ‘No, no, no!’ 

Just then there came a chiming from the table. It was Valerie's phone. The two women on the bench glared at the interruption, Valerie reaching over to pick up her phone to see who was calling her at this hour. 

‘Oh… It’s Patsy. I should probably take this in case it’s work related,’ she said, pressing the green button on her phone as Lucille sighed and retreated back to her side of the bench. 

‘Hel-’

‘ _DYYYYYEEERRRR!_ ’

Valerie immediately pulled the phone away from her ear, her eyes wide and blinking. 

‘Ayyy, Vally D! What ‘chu doin’?’ her phone said, and both she and Lucille looked at it, bemused. 

‘Is that your boss?’ Lucille mouthed. Valerie shrugged. 

‘Mount, is that you?’ Valerie asked, thoroughly amused. 

‘No, it’s Delia!... Wait. I’m technically a Mount, now, aren’t I? SO YES! IT IS I! MOUNT!’ 

Valerie suppressed a laugh. She had obviously been drinking. 

‘OK, no but seriously, are you doing anything right now?’ Delia asked. 

‘Um…’ Valerie looked over to Lucille who shrugged. ‘Just hanging out with Lou. What’s up?’ 

‘Aw! Well she’s invited, too!’

Valerie furrowed her eyebrows. This phone call was increasingly reminding her of her conversation with her Auntie Joan when she tried to make her dentist appointment. 

‘Invited to where, exactly?’ Valerie spoke loudly, wanting to make herself heard over the thumping bass and whatever that screeching was behind Delia. 

‘Oh, pfft, sorry, we’re at The Tugboat.’ 

‘What the… isn’t that Poplars piss poor excuse for a gay pub?’ 

‘Yup! It’s karaoke night. Wanna come?’ 

‘Karaoke?’ Valerie looked questioningly at Lucille, who seemed interested. 

‘Yeah! We’re all here, Patsy, Barbara, Trixie and I. You two should come out!’ Valerie could hear the noise die down considerably, and she assumed Delia had stepped outside from the pub. 

‘Oh, there you are! Sweetie I hope you don’t mind I borrowed your phone.’ 

Valerie could hear some mumbling in the background and she could only assume it was Patsy speaking to her with a cigarette in her mouth. 

‘It’s Dyer, I’m trying to get her and her girlfriend to come out.’ 

Valerie and Lucille shared a look and blushed at the same time at the word ‘girlfriend’, but remained silent as they listened to the conversation happening on the other line. 

‘Tell her to get her arse down here,’ Valerie heard Patsy say, ‘I can only take so many show tunes from blokes in drag.’

‘You hear that Dyer! Better listen to The Captain!’

‘Damn it, Delia,’ Patsy grumbled and Delia giggled. 

Valerie looked at Lucille, ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked. 

Lucille smiled back at her happily, ‘It sounds like fun. Are you up for going?’

Valerie smiled, ‘I am if you are.’

Lucille nodded and Valerie put the phone back to her ear. 

‘Deels, they all sound like cats in heat clawing at chalkboards,’ Valerie could hear Patsy mumble, and she had to stop herself from laughing. 

‘Delia?’ Valerie said loudly, wanting to get her attention, ‘We’ll come by soon.’

‘Oh yay!’ Delia exclaimed on the other end, ‘I can’t wait to hear your wonderful singing voice!’ Valerie scoffed, wondering what the hell she was talking about, ‘At the very least,’ Delia continued, ‘come out and make Patsy sing something other than ‘emo’. I don’t think I can take listening to Dashboard Confessional _again_!’

‘Hey!’ Valerie could hear Patsy should from the background, ‘They’re a good band!’

‘Patsy! You need to move on from the naughties!’ Valerie heard Delia exclaim. 

‘ _Your hair is everywhere!_ ’ Patsy sang, and Valerie could hear Delia audibly groan. 

‘Gah, Patsy, NO!’

‘ _Screaming infidelities!_ ’ 

‘Valerie, hurry or I’m going to strangle my wife!’ 

The call disconnected, and Valerie blinked. She looked over to Lucille who looked as thoroughly bemused as she did. 

‘Well,’ Valerie said, placing her phone back on the table, ‘Why don’t we clean up and head over?’ 

‘Yeah, that sounds good,’ Lucille replied as the two stood from the bench, ‘Oh, and Val?’

Valerie looked at Lucille attentively. 

Lucille brought a finger to her own chin, ‘You’ve got a bit of sauce right here.’ 

Valerie blushed and brought her hand to her chin, but before she could wipe anything away, Lucille intercepted her hand and brought it to her mouth, playfully biting down on Valerie's fingers. 

‘Why you cheeky…!’ Valerie had no idea how to finish that sentence, but her hand came to smack Lucille's rear end as the woman ran away giggling.

* * *

After Lucille and Valerie cleaned up their plates and drinks from dinner, they freshened up and started on the four street hike to The Tugboat. Valerie had only been herself a handful of times, preferring the gay pubs in Soho. This pub was hole in the wall with a small stage for performances and a pool table. It was a tad sketchy, but an alright place to be amongst fellow queers and grab a cheap pint. 

The two women were walking hand in hand down the street towards the pub in a comfortable silence, until Lucille turned to Valerie, eyeing her curiously. 

‘Hey,’ Lucille started, getting Valerie's attention. 

‘What’s up?’

‘So I have another question.’ 

Valerie smirked, ‘I’m starting to gather that you preface all relationship or sex questions with that.’ 

‘Do I?’ 

‘Yes. Now out with it. What do your mind?’ 

‘Oh, well, this is another one you don’t have to answer…’ 

‘Lou, I have a question for you,’ Valerie interrupted. 

Lucille’s eyes widened at the sudden interruption, but her gaze was attentive, ‘Oh, um, what is it?’ 

‘These questions, these conversations we’ve been having recently… are the helping?’

‘Helping?’ 

‘Yeah, I mean, are they helping you… I don’t know, become more comfortable with your sexuality? With dating another woman?’ 

Lucille smiled and nodded. 

‘Well, good,’ Valerie said, ‘I want to help, and you can certainly ask me anything you like. I’m an open book… I don’t think there’s anything too personal I wouldn’t want to share with you knowing that it’s making us closer.’ 

Lucille’s smile turned shy suddenly, ‘Oh, Val, that’s really sweet,’ she stopped walking to bring Valerie’s hand to her mouth for a sweet kiss, ‘I’m thinking I shouldn’t ask now because I might get really jealous.’ 

Valerie raised an eyebrow at that, ‘It’s not about Delia again, is it?’ she teased. 

Lucille laughed, ‘No. I’ve quite gotten over that. It was silly of me to get bent out of shape over something like that when you had no say in the matter,’ she looked down between her at their interlocked hands and sighed, ‘I’m sorry I get jealous… I don’t mean to make things difficult. I just have a split second reaction sometimes and it feels like there’s a fire in my chest. It sort of takes over my rational thinking for a moment and I… will probably say unfair things…’ Lucille trailed off, looking as if she felt guilty. 

‘Lou, it’s alright to feel jealous,’ Valerie said, hooking her index finger under Lucille’s chin and gently tilting her head until their eyes met, ‘I find it rather endearing, actually. Means you like me. You’re not controlling and you’re not trying to run my life or tell me who I can hang out with or anything, so it’s fine. You’re fine.’ 

Lucille smiled shyly. 

‘I just need you to trust me when I say I like you and only have eyes for you,’ Valerie winked, and Lucille bit her lip, her smile widening, reaching her eyes. Valerie thought she looked absolutely radiant. 

‘I do trust you,’ she said, ‘I just need to work on reminding myself that I can trust you, even when I get that feeling in my chest… Like right now.’

‘Right now?’ 

‘Yeah… when we talk about these things… You speak as if you’re coming from a lot of experience, is all.’ 

‘Ah, well…’ Valerie trailed off, scratching her cheek nervously. 

‘Dated a lot of women, then?’ Lucille asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling smugly, ‘This is what I initially wanted to ask, by the way. I wasn’t sure if I should, because it’s probably none of my business but now I just want to know because I enjoy seeing you squirm like this.’ 

‘What is it with you and torturing me?’ Valerie griped, sighing, ‘Promise you won’t get jealous?’ 

Lucille crossed her arms, her expression plainly amused as she turned on her heel and planted herself directly in front of Valerie, ‘Should I? You’re not still holding a torch for someone, are you?’ 

‘I assure you, you’re the only light of my life at the moment,’ Valerie quipped. Lucille’s expression did not change but Valerie watched as a blush feathered across her cheeks at her words. 

‘So?’ 

Valerie licked her lips, ‘I may have gone through… a phase… specifically a few months before I went into the army.’ 

‘Uh huh.’ 

‘And I may have…’ Valerie shrugged, holding her hands out innocently, ‘had a bit of fun with… some people.’ 

‘A lot of people?’ 

Valerie clasped her hands together, her two forefingers over her mouth, ‘Define ‘a lot’.’

Lucille held her hands up, ‘Never mind!’ She turned and continued walking, ‘Forget I asked!’ 

‘Wait!’ Valerie leapt forward to catch up to her, gently grasping into her arm and turning Lucille towards her, ‘Ok, hang on now. Hear me out, alright?’

Lucille bristled slightly, her lips forming a tight line as she wiggled her nose. Valerie found it terribly endearing and had to concentrate to keep her train of thought. 

‘So, yes, before I went into the army I went kind of wild, but I learned something important about myself.’ 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘Yeah… it’s that I’m terrible at separating sex and feelings.’

This seemed to make Lucille take pause. Her expression softened as she listened to Valerie. 

‘Too many times I woke up next to someone who just wanted to kick me out first thing when all I wanted to do was cuddle and make breakfast. It felt bloody awful. I’m too much of a sweetheart to keep it casual.’ 

‘Oh,’ Lucille bit her lip, looking guilty. 

‘I thought I could do it, initially. It was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Had my heart broken a few times before it clicked, you know? Then after I got out of basic training, I was sent to Birmingham to study. Once I settled in I started dating and looking for something more long term and… actually talking about that… talking about it to the women I dated… well, it was tough.’

‘How so?’ 

‘Well, a lot of people were busy with Uni. Busy traveling. A lot of the women I dated were still figuring out their sexuality and their life. They couldn’t commit or weren’t interested in anything long term,’ Valerie rubbed the back of her neck, thinking, ‘Being in the military had its own challenges, too,’ she continued, ‘Lots of girls wouldn’t bother with me because they thought I would just fuck off and deploy so they didn’t want to get emotionally invested,’ Valerie rolled her eyes and sighed, ‘I dated a lot of women short term, as a result. I made a lot of mistakes, but learned from them, you know? Dating all different types of people, all different types of personalities… it’s really made an impression in my life on how important communication is. Figuring people out… so… that’s probably why I am the way I am. You know… I like talking things out. Getting it all out in the open and working through issues and the like.’ 

Valerie sighed, gauging Lucille's expression, which looked thoughtful. 

‘That’s why I want you to ask questions,’ she continued, ‘because I know you’re still working things out about yourself and I just want to do what I can to help… and if talking about my past experiences helps then I’ll talk about them, though I’m still allowed to find it terribly awkward.’ 

Lucille gave her a sympathetic smile, ‘Val, I’m sorry,’ she said earnestly, ‘My intention wasn’t to make you feel awkward.’ 

‘I know, and it’s OK… I know it’s important to talk about this stuff anyways, and… please try and remember I’m only human. I’m not perfect and will make mistakes and… even though I’ve dated other women before I’m still always learning how to be better, you know?’ 

‘Likewise,’ Lucille said. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at Valerie. 

Valerie raised her eyebrow again inquiringly, ‘What?’ 

‘How did you get like this?’ 

‘Like what?’ 

‘You’re like the yogi on the mountain when it comes to talking about sex and relationships.’ 

Valerie laughed, looking away shyly and placing her hands on her hips, ‘Oh, well, I mean, I suppose we’ve all got to be good at something, eh?’ 

‘It’s a little intimidating, though.’ 

Valerie blinked, ‘What is?’

‘You… your experience. I’ve only had three boyfriends… all long term… about a year or two with each, but it wasn’t like there was much of a variety between them. All classmates or friends of friends who were all into the same things like football or video games.’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘That’s alright. Maybe you just have a type when it comes to men?’

Lucille sighed, smiling shyly, ‘Maybe…’ 

Valerie held out her hands, shrugging, ‘If it makes any difference, you’re the first person I’ve dated in two years.’ 

‘Really?’ 

‘Yeah. I had a bad breakup that put me off dating for a whole year and then I was deployed for another year and too busy to even think about romance or sex, so…’ Valerie trailed off, shyly putting her hands in her pockets and looked down, ‘I was just stressed out all the time and working so much that it killed any kind of drive or desire to do anything like that.’ 

Valerie looked up when she felt Lucille reach for her, slowly trailing her finger up Valerie’s forearm in a comforting way. Their eyes met and Lucille looked sympathetic. 

‘You really just buried yourself in your work when you were over there?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Wasn’t much else to do, really.’

‘Sounds lonely.’ 

Valerie sighed, her mouth forming a tight line as she thought back on her time in Kandahar, ‘Well, truthfully, yeah, it was. Though the longer I was there the more it became for my own well being, really.’ 

‘How do you mean?’ 

‘Just didn’t want to be bothered, really. It was something like 80% men to women there. The lot of them are away from their wives and girlfriends and after awhile I just started getting a lot of attention I didn’t want.’ 

‘Oh,’ Lucille looked worried, ‘Did… nothing happened, right?’ 

‘Oh, nah,’ Valerie said reassuringly, ‘there were plenty of other girls who absolutely loved the attention, so all the pesky ones would eventually bugger off and leave me alone to go and dote on them or something,’ Valerie took a deep breath and smiled at Lucille, ‘so… that’s that, then,’ she scratched the back of her head nervously, unsure of what else to say. 

Valerie felt shy under Lucille’s gaze. She tried to hold her reassuring smile even those she felt exposed and vulnerable at having divulged this information, not quite knowing how Lucille was processing it. The expression on her face was that of concern, and Valerie’s heart sank. 

‘I, um,’ she started, ‘I hope I haven’t upset you with… you know. Being a bit rambunctious back then…’ 

Lucille seemed to snap out of her thought process and turned towards Valerie, meeting her eyes. 

‘Oh, no, honey, no, I’m not upset with you. Not at all. I’m sorry, I’m just taking in everything you’ve said and… and,’ she pulled away slightly, ‘I think I’m more upset with myself. I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to… bring up any bad feelings or memories.’ 

‘Lou, it’s OK. You’re always allowed to ask these things. I want you to know, even if it’s tough to talk about. I mean… that’s life, isn’t it? Sometimes painful but,’ Valerie looked down and tentatively reached for Lucille's hand, interlocking their fingers, ‘everything I’ve ever done so far has made me the person I am and led me to you, so it was all worth it, I think.’ 

Valerie watched as Lucille looked from their hands to Valerie’s eyes. She almost looked as if she were about to cry, but the look was fleeting as Lucille surprised Valerie by throwing her arms around her shoulders. Lucille pulled Valerie tight against her as Valerie found her footing from the impact. 

‘I don’t want to hear anymore about any girls who broke your heart,’ she said against Valerie’s neck. Lucille brought a hand to Valerie’s face and lovingly cradled her head as she placed a sweet kiss on her lips. The two pulled away slightly, Valerie’s arms wrapping around Lucille’s waist as they came together again for another kiss. It was deeper, and filled with emotion. When Lucille pulled away, she lovingly trailed her fingers over Valerie’s face. She looked as if she were contemplating something and Valerie looked back at her inquiringly. 

‘I don’t want to think about anyone treating you unfairly. Or being unkind to you,’ Lucille slowly placed a hand her Valerie’s beating heart, ‘I don’t want you to ever feel lonely again. Just the thought of you hurting… it just makes me so upset, Val.’ 

‘Lou’ Valerie started with an awkward laugh. She was completely flummoxed as to why Lucille was saying these things but she found them rather touching. 

‘Val… you are a sweetheart…’ Lucille began, sighing, ‘I’ve never quite met anyone like you before and... each day I spend with you I just grow to like you more and more. Do you know that?’

Valerie felt a hot blush crawl up from her chest to her ears and she could only smile shyly in response. 

‘And…’ Lucille bit her lip, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Valerie’s ear, ‘I… I want…’ she trailed off, looking down, seemingly too shy to look Valerie in the eye. 

‘You want…?’ Valerie prodded gently. 

Lucille grasped fistfuls of Valerie’s top, seemingly finding the courage to say what she needed, ‘You. I want you to be my sweetheart,’ she said, ‘You’re special,’ Lucille said, finding Valerie’s eyes again, ‘and I want you. I don’t want anyone else having you.’ 

Valerie blinked, completely gobsmacked. Was Lucille asking what she thought she was asking? Valerie’s brain raced a mile a minute searching for the proper one word response that she was dying to say but for the life of her she couldn’t find it. Her heart was pounding in her chest as Lucille’s words sank in. 

My sweetheart. 

Don’t want anyone else having you. 

You. I want you. 

Never in her wildest dreams did she think something would ever turn out so perfectly, yet here it was. 

Valerie could feel Lucille’s hands clenched against her chest begin to shake from nerves, and she realized she had made the woman wait long enough for a response. She took a deep breath to calm her own nerves and placed her hands over Lucille’s. 

‘Want me all to yourself, eh?’ Valerie pressed her forehead to Lucille’s and playfully narrowed her eyes, ‘Same goes for you, cutie. I better not catch you making eyes at any of the babes at the pub.’ 

Lucille let out a laugh, relieved. Her hands were still shaking and Valerie kept a firm grip on her as she calmed down. ‘OK, now that I can certainly promise,’ Lucille said, kissing Valerie sweetly on the lips as if to solidify her promise, and the two giggled happily. 

‘Do you mean it?’ Lucille asked, kissing Valerie on the neck and smiling against her, ‘you’ll be my girlfriend?’ 

Valerie wrapped her arms around Lucille and held her tight, ‘Of course I mean it. Don’t know if you notice but I’m absolutely smitten with you.’ 

‘Think I’ve known that since you snogged my hip at the library.’ 

Valerie burst out laughing, ‘Hey! In my defense it was _your_ hip that fell on my mouth! Maybe your body was trying to tell you something,’ she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Lucille could only giggle in her arms. 

Valerie’s phone chimed with a text that they both knew to be from their friends at the pub. 

‘Oh, bother’ Valerie griped as Lucille disentangled herself from her. 

‘Come on, girlfriend,’ Lucille quipped, causing Valerie to grin, ‘we better get a move on and not keep them waiting too much longer,’ she moved to stand next to Valerie, taking Valerie’s hand in hers as they continued walking, a new lightness in their step. They rounded a corner, the pub suddenly in sight at the end of the street. 

‘So are you going to sing for me tonight?’ Lucille asked. Fingers interlocked, she playfully swung their hands back and forth between them, batting her eyelashes. 

Valerie bit her lip, ‘I’m a terrible singer,’ she warned, ‘I might break a few glasses.’ 

‘I highly doubt you’re that bad.’ 

‘You remember the comment Patsy made about nails on a chalkboard? That’s what I sound like.’

‘Val!’

‘How about you sing for me and I’ll do your bidding for the rest of the night.’ 

‘Fine. My bidding is for you to sing a song.’ 

Valerie looked up and sighed in mock annoyance, ‘Please don’t make me. I’m begging you.’ 

‘Maybe beg harder and I’ll think about it.’ 

Valerie dropped to her knees in the street and wrapped her arms around Lucille's legs, making the woman laugh, ‘Please don’t make me sing! Take pity on your poor, adorably small ears!’

Lucille placed her hands on Valerie’s shoulders and playfully pushed her away, ‘Alright! Alright! I’ll think about it!’ 

Valerie got back on her feet with a relieved sigh, ‘Thank goodness.’ 

They interlocked their fingers again and walked about two paces before Lucille turned back to Valerie, ‘Alright. I’ve thought about it and I still think you should sing.’ 

‘Oh for-!’ Valerie stuttered, ‘You just want to see me get up there and make an ass of myself!’ 

Lucille giggled and brought their hands to her mouth, playfully biting down on Valerie’s knuckle, ‘Kind of,’ she said. 

Valerie blushed, ‘See if I ever beg for your sympathy again. You’re as bad as a bloody tyrant.’ 

‘Oh come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll get up there and sing, too.’ 

As the two women approached the door, it swung open, revealing Patsy and Trixie, presumably stepping out for a cigarette. 

‘Oh there you are!’ Trixie exclaimed, ‘We were worried you’d never show.’ 

‘Ah, sorry, my fault,’ Lucille said, ‘we got to chatting and took a bit longer to get here.’ 

‘Want a fag before you head in?’ Patsy asked, addressing Valerie, already pulling a cigarette for herself from the pack.

Valerie looked to Lucille for approval, who shrugged, ‘You go ahead, I’ll grab us a round?’ 

‘It’s alright, let me get it,’ Valerie pulled out her wallet and Lucille held up a hand to stop her.

‘No, no I got it.’ 

Valerie ignored her and gave her a £20 note, ‘No, you made dinner. Let me pay for a few rounds.’ 

Lucille relented and took her money, ‘Alright. What would you like?’ 

‘If you’re going to make me sing? A shot of whiskey and a pint of whatever they have on tap that’s decent.’ 

‘That’ll be the one that’s not a shitty American beer,’ Patsy quipped.

‘Got it,’ Lucille placed a sweet kiss on Valerie’s lips and headed inside. 

Valerie turned to Patsy and Trixie who were standing against the brick wall of the pub, looking back at her rather bemused. Valerie blushed shyly at their curious glances and fumbled for her own pack of cigarettes in her back pocket. 

‘Things going well with you two, I take it?’ Trixie asked, taking a drag of the cigarette delicately perched between her two fingers. 

Valerie couldn’t help the wide grin that came across her face as she pulled out a cigarette from her own pack, ‘Things are going grand, really. She’s just asked me to be her girlfriend.’ 

Patsy leaned in towards Trixie, looking confused, ‘I thought they were girlfriends?’

‘No, darling, they just had their first date two weeks ago. Don’t you remember?’ 

‘Two weeks?!’ Patsy exclaimed, ‘And already official? Bit fast don’t you think?’ 

‘Not everyone needs to dither for months and months on end like you, Patsy,’ Trixie quipped. 

‘What the-!’ Patsy stuttered, ‘What are you going on about?’

‘Delia told me all about how you took ages to come around to her. You’re lucky she took you back after you finally got your head out of your arse and realized what you were missing.’ 

‘Yeah, Mount, she told me all about that, too,’ Valerie interjected as she lit her cigarette. 

‘I did not take ages,’ Patsy huffed, ‘Dyer, you should know best out of the lot of us that I couldn’t just very well get with an enlisted person.’ 

Valerie put a hand on her hip challengingly, ‘Didn’t stop you in the end, did it?’ 

‘And love won out!’ Trixie added with a smile.

Patsy continued to fluster and puffed on her cigarette, mumbling to herself something about talking with Delia and personal information. 

‘Well, congratulations!’ Trixie interjected, ‘So happy things are going well for the two of you.’ 

‘Two weeks... ‘ Patsy said shaking her head again, ‘Must be some pretty great sex, Dyer.’ 

Valerie knew Patsy was teasing but couldn’t help but choke on her cigarette smoke at how candid she was. 

‘Steady on, Dyer, I’m only joking,’ Patsy said as she patted Valerie’s back. 

‘I know,’ Valerie coughed, feeling her face turn red, ‘you’re alright, it’s just we haven’t… we haven’t, um…’ Valerie trailed off, feeling a blush crawl along her cheeks to the tips of her ears. 

‘Oh, god, Dyer,’ Patsy smirked, taking a long drag of her cigarette, ‘you’re so cute it’s annoying.’ 

‘Oh, leave her be,’ Trixie shoved Patsy playfully, ‘I think it’s sweet,’ she turned her attention back to Valerie, ‘Ignore her. We can talk about something else.’ 

‘Actually,’ Valerie started, her finger coming to scratch her cheek shyly, ‘since we’re on the subject, I was wondering if I could pick your brain for a moment, Trixie.’ 

‘Me?’ Trixie asked, a tone of surprise in her voice as she flicked the ash off her cigarette. 

‘What’s wrong with _my_ brain?’ Patsy asked with a tone of indignance. 

Valerie raised an eyebrow at her, ‘Are you bi?’ 

‘No.’

‘Ever slept at a bloke?’ 

Patsy grimaced, ‘Ew, no.’

‘Well bugger off then, you’re useless to me,’ Valerie joked, pointedly turning her back to her and facing Trixie. 

Trixie stifled a laugh as Patsy sputtered incredulously behind the two, looking amused back at Valerie. 

‘How can I help?’ she asked. 

‘Well, out of the three of us,’ she eyed Patsy, ‘you’re the only one who has any experience with men, correct?’ 

‘I suppose so, yes.’ 

‘What kind of men have you dated?’ 

Trixie shrugged, ‘Oh, I don’t know. All kinds, really. Mostly tall… some footballers, some businessmen… some younger, some older…’ she trailed off, unsure what Valerie was getting at. 

‘Who would you say is better in bed, then? The younger ones?’ 

Trixie let out a laugh, ‘Oh, god no! They’re bloody awful. No idea how to touch a woman and won’t go down on you even if their life depended on it.’ 

‘Seriously?’ Patsy asked, disbelief in her tone. 

Trixie nodded sadly, ‘Almost put my cigarette out in a dates eye once when he wouldn’t return the favor.’ 

‘Bloody prick,’ Patsy quipped, taking a long drag.

‘Ah, see, that’s what I thought,’ Valerie looked away, puffing on her cigarette, the puzzle pieces interlocking together in her head. 

‘Why are you asking these kinds of questions anyway?’ 

‘Well,’ Valerie scratched her head, wondering how much information she should give away, ‘Lou and I haven’t had sex yet, but we’ve been talking about it a lot. Shes told me that she’s only ever dated and slept with boys before, but I’m starting to think the lot of them were completely useless and had no idea what they were doing.’ 

‘So she’s only ever had bad sex, you think?’ 

‘Precisely.’ 

‘Poor girl,’ Patsy remarked sadly. 

‘Well, that could very well be true, but I mean, it can’t be like that forever, now, can it? She’s dating you now, after all,’ Trixie wiggled her eyebrows and Valerie laughed.

‘I mean, yeah, I hope so!’ Valerie blushed, taking another drag, ‘Only problem is we’ve got a few more hurdles to get over before we can get to that point. She’s… eh, got some things she needs to work out first, I suppose, before she’s comfortable getting there.’ 

‘How do you mean?’ Trixie asked. 

‘Well, she was raised very religious like, back home in Jamaica. Her family is very conservative and so is the country, still locking up men for being gay and all that. Bloody disgusting. Anyway, took her a long time to come to terms with just being bi and now she’s… well…’ Valerie furrowed her eyebrows contemplatively, searching for words, ‘She still feels a lot of guilt and shame over it, and feels bad for even enjoying the things that we have done so far…’ 

Valerie’s expression turned to one of hurt and concern as she thought back on how Lucille reacted the night before, when she tried to push things further along. Valerie felt a twinge of guilt just thinking about it. 

‘She damn well nearly had a panic attack the one time we… you know. Tried anything,’ she took one last puff of her cigarette before throwing it down and stepping it out, her hands finding their way into her pockets. She felt shy again as Patsy And Trixie both shared a look and she could only imagine what they were thinking. Probably pity. 

‘Ah, look,’ Valerie started, trying to sound relaxed as a way to break any tension in the air, ‘I probably shouldn’t be saying all this. I don’t want her thinking I go on and blab about our personal stuff to everyone so I’d appreciate it if we kept this between us, yeah?’ 

‘Actually,’ Trixie started, gently grasping Valerie on the arm as a sign of comfort, ‘if I could suggest something?’ 

‘Um,’ Valerie looked back at her, surprised, ‘Oh, uh, yeah, sure…’ 

‘Talk to Barbara.’ 

Valerie blinked, not quite understanding. 

‘Barbara?’ 

‘Yes…’ Trixie trailed off, putting out her own cigarette before looking back to Valerie, ‘She's a Vicar's daughter. She was brought up as a strict Anglican and only read the Bible when she was younger. She would often make herself sick with guilt because she didn't think she was Christian enough or wouldn't get into heaven for the silly mistakes all children make.’ 

Valerie shook her head, another feeling of disgust washing over her as she was reminded why she didn’t like religion again. 

‘Blimey. I didn’t know that,’ Pats interjected, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, facing Trixie. 

Trixie nodded, ‘Thankfully by the time we met she had managed to get over that bit, but it was still a painful process watching her come to terms with her sexuality as we grew older.’ 

‘Is she bi, too?’ Valerie asked.

Trixie shook her head, ‘I'm pretty sure she’s pansexual, or queer, or whatever the kids are using these days to say they love everyone,’ Trixie shrugged, ‘though she’s insistent on being her own thing; Trixiesexual.’ 

‘How modest of you,’ Patsy remarked with a smirk. 

‘Her words!’ Trixie exclaimed, turning her attention back to Valerie, ‘Anyway, would it be alright if I asked Barbara to maybe talk to her about it sometime? Doesn’t have to be tonight, but it sounds as if Lucille is on a similar journey. Babs might be able to help. At least give her someone to talk to who has had a similar experience.’ 

Valerie thought on it for a moment before nodding, thinking it would be a good start for Lou to have a friend who she can reach out to who had gone through what she’s going though. 

‘Alright. I’ll talk to Lou about it,’ she smiled at Trixie reassuringly. 

Trixie returned her smile and a thought occurred to Valerie, ‘Trixie, I was wondering… do you mind if I ask how you and Barbara got together?’ 

Just then the door burst open and a gaggle of drunk boys sauntered out of the dark pub. The sounds of two women belting out a Cher song was carried out with them and the two women next to Valerie shared a look. 

‘Well, speak of the devil,’ Trixie said, moving towards the door, ‘We should probably get back in and cheer on our girls,’ she held the door open as Patsy breezed through, Valerie following, ‘I’ll have to save that story for another time.’ 

Valerie smiled at her and entered the pub, noticing immediately that Barbara was on stage with Delia drunkenly hanging over her shoulder. The two women were passionately belting out Cher’s ‘Turn Back Time’. A large white wall with the lyrics was projected behind them, and a few of the boys who stayed behind were sitting at the front cheering them on. Another group of girls were drinking pints and playing pool. Valerie's eyes finally found Lucille, sitting alone at a table keeping company with a few pint glasses and several purses and jumpers. Their eyes met and Lucille winked, making Valerie’s heart melt just a little. She pulled up a chair next to _her_ girl and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. 

‘Hey, sorry to keep you waiting,’ she leaned in close so Lucille could hear her over the singing. 

‘You’re alright. Was having a pleasant chat with Barbara and Delia about you anyway.’ 

Valerie blushed, ‘About _me_?’

‘Yeah. They might have a chat with you later to see if you can be deemed worthy enough to be my girlfriend.’ 

‘What!?’

Lucille giggled at her reaction, ‘Don’t worry darling, I told them you’re more than up to the task,’ she lovingly cupped Valerie's face in her hand and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. 

Valerie couldn’t help but smile. 

‘You’re up next by the way,’ Lucille casually mentioned when she pulled away. 

‘Wha… seriously?! Lou do you even like me?’ 

Lucille laughed, ‘I actually like you quite a bit,’ 

Valerie playfully glared at Lucille, ‘I seriously am a terrible singer.’ 

‘Doesn’t mean you still can’t have fun. Here,’ Lucille reached over and handed Valerie her requested shot of whiskey, ‘Better hurry,’ she nodded towards Barbara and Delia on stage wrapping up their song, ‘they’re almost done.’ 

Valerie took a deep breath and downed her shot, slamming the glass on the table before picking up her pint and chugging her beer. By the time she placed the empty pint glass down on the table, the alcohol was already warming her belly and making her nerve endings in her fingers and toes tingle. She wiped her mouth and stood as the two women on stage finished their song. 

‘I want more booze when I get back please,’ she slurred politely, reaching into her back pocket and handing Lucille her wallet, ‘Here, just… take my money.’ Valerie left a giggling Lucille with everything as she approached the stage. 

There was a man in a booth with a laptop who called out to her, ‘You Valerie?

Valerie looked over to what looked like the only straight person in the pub. He had long, scraggly blonde hair and a flannel shirt with thick rimmed glasses that cast an evil shadow over his face from the backlight of his laptop. 

‘What are you singing?’ he asked. 

‘Um…’ Valerie squinted and thought hard to think of a song she knew all the lyrics to. She leaned in close, ‘what do you want to hear?’ 

‘Literally anything that isn’t a campy show tune, at this point,’ he said, sounding desperate. 

‘Play something by Led Zeppelin.’ 

‘Right on,’ he said, and started tapping on his laptop. 

Valerie hopped up on the small stage and grabbed the mic as the Immigrant Song started playing. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned back, letting out a passionate ‘AhhahhahhhAHHH!’ into the mic. 

She vaguely heard the cheers and applause from the woman in the back. The gay boys in the front did not seem amused. Valerie ignored everyone. 

_‘We come from the land of the ice and snow,  
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow!’_

Eyes still closed, she danced around on stage as silly as possible throughout the rest of the song as she sang high pitched and dramatically, encouraged by her friends laughing and cheering her on. After singing the last lyric, she shoved the mic back in the stand and left the stage before the music even ended, heading back towards the table where her friends sat and looking forward to another pint after all that. 

‘That was bloody fucking magical,’ Patsy quipped as Valerie took her seat next to Lucille, leaning down to clink glasses with Valerie's fresh pint. 

Valerie laughed and sipped her beer as Trixie took the stage and sang next. 

‘I thought that was rather lovely,’ Lucille said, leaning into Valerie so she could hear, ‘wish you would have done your sexy dances on stage instead.’ 

‘What, you don’t think me dancing around like a pirate with two peg legs is sexy?’

‘I know you can do better, is all,’ she winked, leaning over to kiss Valerie on a spot under her ear that made her heart pound in her chest. 

‘I save the best for when I’m dancing with you,’ Valerie teased and Lucille gave a shy smile. Valerie playfully bit her shoulder and kissed her there, leaning back and sipped her beer again. She was hard pressed to tear her eyes away from the beautiful woman next to her and look towards the stage to Trixie, who was almost done her rendition of Brass in Pocket by The Pretenders. 

_'Cause I gonna make you see_  
_There's nobody else here_  
_No one like me_  
_I'm special, so special_  
_I gotta have some of your attention… give it to me!_ Trixie sang, her arm coming up above her head dramatically in a statement of showmanship. Even though Valerie had only known Trixie for a few weeks, she deemed her choice in song highly appropriate for her personality. 

‘And just what are you going to sing next?’ Valerie could hear Delia say to Patsy, her arm draped over her wifes shoulder as she sipped some mixed drink. 

‘I was thinking another Dashboard Confessional song.’ 

‘Oh, fuck off!’ Deia exclaimed and Patsy laughed. She rose from her seat when Trixie finished and her name was called, and by the time she got to the stage the opening riff to Paramore’s Misery Business began to play. 

‘Oh, thank god, she chose a decent one.’ Delia quipped as she downed her drink. 

It still blew Valerie away seeing her old Captain like this, relaxed and cutting loose when the woman she met and knew in Kandahar was anything but. Always buttoned up, professional, and clean pressed to the point of obsessive, it was like being out of the military and with Delia had made the woman human. Valerie also noted amused that Patsy had a similar stage presence that she did, screwing her eyes shut while she belted out the lyrics, presumably not needing to read them on the wall because she already knew every word. 

_Whoa, I never meant to brag._  
_But I got him where I want him now._  
_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_  
_To steal it all away from you now._  
_But God does it feel so good,_  
_'Cause I got him where I want him now._  
_And if you could then you know you would._  
_'Cause God it just feels soooo_

Valerie looked over to Delia, stunned, ‘How in the fuck does she belt out a song like that when she smokes a fucking sleeve a day?’ 

Delia rolled her eyes and shook her head, ‘Her super power, apparently.’ 

Valerie turned to Lucille, ‘Are you going to sing something?’ 

‘Yeah, I put my name down.’ 

‘And?’ Valerie asked curiously, sipping her beer, ‘Don’t leave me hanging!’ 

‘I won’t tell you, but it’s dedicated to you.’ 

‘Really? Dedicated to me?’ 

‘Yes, it’s the song I hear in my head whenever I think of you.’ 

Just then, the man in the booth called out Lucille's name as Patsy stepped down from the stage. Lucille rose from her seat and winked at Valerie as she made her way to the stage. 

Valerie's eyes followed Lucille as she leaned back and crossed her arms, intrigued as she sipped her beer and waited for the song to begin. 

The beat started playing and Valerie could hear Delia drunkenly cheer next to her immediately, ‘Yaas! Finally! Some Beyonce!’ 

It took a second for Valerie to recognise the song, but she knew what it was once Lucille started singing. 

_Honey honey_  
_I can see the stars all the way from here_  
_Can't you see the glow on the window pane_  
_I can feel the sun whenever you're near_  
_Every time you touch me I just melt away_  


Lucille had her eyes closed, and Valerie watched as she danced and swayed while she sang, finding everything about her terribly endearing and she couldn’t quite believe that this was the song that made Lucille think of her. Valerie leaned on the table, her chin resting in her hand as she sipped her pint and watched on admiringly with a stupid grin on her face as Lucille sang the rest of the song.

 _Baby it's you_  
_You're the one I love_  
_You're the one I need_  
_You're the only one I see_  
_Come on baby it's you_  
_You're the one that gives your all_  
_You're the one I can always call_  
_When I need to make everything stop_  
_Finally! You put my love on top!_

Next to Valerie, Delia was animatidely singing along with Lucille while perched in Patsy’s lap, the taller woman shoving two fingers in her mouth and giving a loud whistle in appreciation. The boys at the front were going wild and Valerie could only sit back and watch as her girlfriend lost herself in the song, wondering how she got to be so lucky as she watched Lucille sing and dance up there on stage.

When Lucille finished the song and came back to the table, Valerie couldn’t help but pull her towards herself, scooping her up and placing her in her lap. She securely wrapped her arms around Lucille’s waist as Lucille placed her arms around her shoulders and held Valerie’s head close to her chest. The two laughed and held each other tight for a moment, a kiss from Lucille breaking their grip on one another.

‘Where have you been hiding such a beautiful voice?’ Valerie asked.

‘The wine we had earlier and seeing you sing must have put me in the mood to share.’

The two kissed sweetly and Valerie could hear Trixie huff next to them.

‘Where’s _my_ girlfriend?’ Trixie asked incredulously, sipping her club soda and lime, feigning disgust at the two kissing couples sitting next to her at the table.

Patsy looked past her and pointed to the pool table, ‘Looks like she’s cleaning up over there.'

Trixie turned around just in time to see an annoyed lesbian with half her head shaved hand Barbara a £20 note while she twirled a pool cue around between her thumb an foreigner smugly.

Trixie jumped in her seat, ‘I told her no gambling!’

Barbara must have sensed Trixies displeasure because the woman smiled sheepishly and placed the cue down, pocketing her winnings and walking over with a bounce in her step towards the pinball machine.

Lucille hopped off Valerie’s lap and gave her one last peck on her forehead, ‘I’m going to go and play with Barbara.’

‘Don’t let her talk you into taking any of your money!’ Trixie warned playfully as Lucille skipped away.

‘I’m going to get another round,’ Patsy said, disentangling herself from Delia and standing. She looked to the three women at the table, ‘same thing for everyone?’

Everyone made some noise of agreement and as a force of habit, Valerie stacked all the empties on the tables and handed them to Patsy to give back to the bar. When she left, Delia scooted her chair closer to Valerie and smiled up at her.

‘So I hear you and Lucille are officially girlfriends now?’

Valerie blushed, wondering if she was about to get the grilling Lucille had warned her about, ‘Yeah, and I’m pretty thrilled about it, honestly.’

Delia grinned, ‘She seems so too. Basically blurted it out the moment she walked in and saw Barbara and I sitting here.’

Valerie couldn’t help but turn completely red and smile at this information.

‘I haven’t talked to her too much but she seems like a sweet kid,’ Delia continued, causing Valerie to raise an eyebrow.

‘Kid? She’s only two years younger than you,’ Valerie teased.

‘You’ve been hanging around Phyllis too much,’ Trixie said, turning to Valerie, ‘the woman calls everyone kid.’

Valerie could only nod her head in agreement at this elusive jet setting midwife Phyllis that she had only heard about. She wondered if she would ever meet the woman.

‘Shh,’ Delia waived her hands, ‘I’m just trying to say she seems really keen on you.’

‘I should hope so, she’s the one who asked me out!’

‘Really?’ Trixie chimed in, ‘I would have thought you’d be the one to make the first move.’

Valerie crossed her arms, ‘I thought you didn’t like to make assumptions?’

Tricked turned pink and rolled her eyes, ‘I was talking about your date? You asked her out, right?’

‘Oh. Right. Well I mean… I suppose the first time we really went out was a few weeks beforehand. She asked me out after a shift at the pub and treated me to some street food. We tried to find some stars but the city is too light polluted to see anything but planets.’

‘The stars? Oh no you’ll have to go out into the country for something like that,’ Delia said.

‘Well I figured. Just haven’t had a chance to plan anything. Besides, it’s still early, I figure we could wait a few more weeks before we take an overnight trip together or something.’

‘Why wait?’ Delia asked, ‘I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Patsy hasn’t mentioned anything about the camping trip we plan on taking over the bank holiday later this month?’

‘Ah, no, she hasn’t,’ Valerie said.

‘To be fair, I haven’t mentioned it either.’ Trixie said.

‘That’s because you hate fresh air and exercise,’ Delia teased and Trixie stuck her tongue out at her.

‘You and Barbara are going, too?’ Valerie asked.

‘Yeah. It was Barbara’s idea, actually,’ Trixie sighed, ‘Her fathers finally settled in one spot somewhere up north and hardly uses his caravan anymore. She figured we could take it out for the long weekend over to Wales for a little holiday,’ she looked back over at Valerie apologetically, ‘Sorry, we didn’t mean to _not_ invite you, but we made the plans with Delia and Patsy before you even showed up out of the blue with your missing tooth.’

‘Oh, that’s alright! You don’t have to invite us. Wouldn’t want to impose on the four of you or anything.’

‘No, Val,’ Delia shoved her playfully, ‘You and Lucille are really fun to hang out with. We would love to have you come with us!’

Valerie looked wide eyed from Delia to Trixie, who nodded in agreement.

Valerie thought on it for a moment. A weekend away with Lucille sounded like a great idea, especially if their four new friends accompanied them. It would be the perfect chance for Valerie to sneak away with her for a romantic evening under the stars without the chance of Lucille feeling anxious or pressured to do anything with Valerie she wasn’t ready for.

‘Alright,’ Valerie smiled, ‘I’ll ask Lou and see if she wants to go.’

‘I hope she says yes!’ Trixie beamed, ‘It’ll be nice to have another couple there to hang out with, even if you do have your hands all over each other like Morticia and Gomez Addams over here,’ she said, eyeing Delia.

‘We’re newlyweds!’

‘You have been together for three years. It should be out of your system already!'

‘It never will be, so get used to it.’

Trixie waved her hands at Delia dismissively and the shorter woman giggled.

Delia unconsciously reached for a drink that wasn’t there, and she looked around, miffed, ‘Has Patsy still not come back with the next round?’

Valerie looked around and saw Patsy standing with Barbara and Lucille at the pinball machine, leaning over the two, watching them play, ‘Seems she took a detour.’

Delia sighed, ‘Ah, just as well. I can get a much better view of her bum form here.’

‘Always seeing the silver lining, you are,’ Trixie quipped amused.

‘Well I _can_ see it better from here! And it’s a great bum if I do say so. The best,’ Delia remarked with great pride.

‘You say that as if you made it yourself,’ Trixie replied, unamused.

‘If they gave out ribbons for bums, hers would win best in show!’ Delia said, her eyes wide and sparkling.

Valerie squinted ‘What the bloody hell are you talking about. What bum? She barely has one.’

Delia looked aghast, ‘What bum?!’ She repeated, ‘That bum!’ Delia took her two hands and held Valerie’s face, forcing her to look in the direction of the three women at the pinball machine, ‘that beautifully sculpted round bum that fills out those trousers oh so perfectly!’

‘You’re fucking off your tits, mate. That’s no bum!’ Valerie exclaimed once she was let loose from Delia’s grasp, ‘Lucille’s got the best bum in the country and it perfectly eclipses Mounts flat arse any day with its grace and beauty!’

Delia gasped, ‘You take that back! My wife does not have a flat arse!’

‘I’m surprised she’s even able to keep her trousers up without a belt!’

‘Would you two _shut up_. You’re absolutely ridiculous,’ Trixie interjected. She was blatantly ignored.

Delia knocked over a tin napkin holder that was sitting in the middle of the table, ‘You see that Dyer? That’s what I’m gonna do to you in the alley out back.’

Valerie shifted in her seat, the legs of her chair scratching noisily on the floor, ‘You want to take this outside, short stuff?’

Delia gasped, then yelled, ‘I’m not short! I’m fun sized!’

‘Tear her wig off!’ Some gay boy shouted from his seat at the bar.

‘What the fuck is going on over here?’ Patsy said, finally returning with some drinks.

‘Nothing!’ Delia and Valerie said in unison. The two reached for their drinks and were completely pacified like children being handed a bottle.

‘We shouldn’t let these two drink together. They play off each other too much,’ Trixie pleaded.

‘Not true. We’re being perfect angels,’ Delia said before teasingly shoving Valerie and jumping up from her seat to run away giggling. Valerie was able to get one good smack on her hip before she gone too far.

‘What do you suppose we ought to sing next?’ A voice came from next to them, and the four at the table looked up to see that Barbara and Lucille has rejoined them. 

‘Maybe you should get up there and sing ‘Smooth Criminal’, seeing how well you cleaned up over there at the pool tables,’ Trixie teased as Barbara sat down next to her. Barbara looked over at her bashfully and sweetly kissed her cheek.

‘Sorry darling, I promise I’ll be good.’ 

‘You can take your winnings but me a nice treat later.’ 

Valerie watched as Barbara winked and pulled out a lollipop, unwrapping it and popping it into her mouth. 

‘Well I would certainly be happy to sing another,’ Patsy chimed in. 

‘Oh, no, please tell me it’s something after 2015?’ 

‘I was thinking something by Fall Out Boy.’ 

Delia groaned. 

‘Delia why don’t you sing something?’ Lucille interjected, ‘I don’t think I’ve seen you sing something solo this evening,’ 

‘I am way too shy...’

‘ _Where is your boy tonight_ …’ Patsy started singing to herself before Delia placed a hand over her mouth. 

‘...to get up there and do anything by myself,’ Delia finished her sentence. 

‘You? Shy!?’ Trixie interjected. 

‘Lou, why don’t you and I sing something? We can do a Beyonce song together?’ Delia suggested. 

‘Oh, yes!’ Trixie exclaimed, ‘Do Single Ladies this time! I love that song.’ 

‘That’s our wedding song,’ Patsy said with a smirk, and Delia looked offended. 

‘It bloody well is not, you tart! 

Valerie looked around the table at everyone and realized something. 

‘Why don’t the lot of you go up there and sing the Spice Girls?’ she said

‘All of us?’ Lucille asked. 

‘Why?’ asked Trixie. 

‘Because I feel like I’m looking at the lot of them now, aren’t I?’ 

Valerie pointed to Patsy and Delia, ‘Ginger, Sporty,’ she pointed to Lucille, ‘Scary,’ she looked over at Trixie and Barbara, her finger hovering over Trixie in thought for a moment before it moved to Barbara and she said, ‘Baby.’

Barbara removed the lollipop from her mouth with a pop and replied, indignantly, ‘Why am I baby?!’ 

Trixie smiled and bounced excitedly in her seat, ‘Ooh! That makes me Posh!’ She leaned over and bumped her shoulder against Barbara’s playfully, ‘That means I get to marry David Beckham and have his babies.’ 

‘Shall I inform Victoria?’ Barbara teased, the lollipop effectively finding its way back in her mouth. 

‘And just which Spice are you?’ Lucille asked. 

‘None. I’ve discovered you so I’m the manager,’ Valerie held her head up high and puffed out her chest. She felt a balled up napkin bounce off her face, and she could only imagine it was thrown at her by someone who loved her very much. 

‘I’m not singing the Spice Girls,’ Patsy said stubbornly, crossing her arms, ‘if anything I should be Sporty,’ she mumbled under her breath. 

Delia took two strands of Patsy’s hair from either side of her head and tucked them snugly under her nose, ‘Oh cariad, if only your hair were a little longer I could give you a proper mustache and you could very well be the new hit sensation, Lumberjack Spice.’

Patsy glared at her wife and scowled, ‘...maybe.’ 

Next to her, Valerie felt Lucille reach over and wrap her arms around her shoulders, moving to tuck her head into the crook of her neck. Valerie rested her head against Lucille's as she heard the woman take a deep breath and yawn. 

‘Hey, are you sleepy?’ 

Lucille silently nodded, giving Valerie a quick squeeze before releasing her and sitting back in her chair. 

‘I suppose we’ll have to reenact Spice World some other time,’ Trixie sighed as she polished off her club soda, ‘Looks like you two are about ready to leave.’ 

‘Yeah, sorry to be a spoilsport, but I work bright and early on Saturdays,’ Lucille said. 

‘No worries,’ Patsy said, ‘we won’t keep you if you need to head home.’

The group finished their drinks, gathering their things and headed out the door, Delia pulling Valerie aside before they split off in different directions. 

‘Hey, don’t forget to ask Lucille about camping. It’s the last weekend of the month.’ 

‘Alright,’ said Valerie, turning to walk in the other direction but Delia held her grip. 

‘It’ll be Beeches Farm campsite, near the River Rye. We can go fishing and swimming.’

‘Yes, alright, I’ll be sure to buy a tent,’ Valerie said, trying to loosen herself from Delia’s death grip. 

‘Val,’ Delia said, her tone dead serious. 

‘What?’ Valerie tried to focus on Delia but there were two of her. 

‘I have a very important question to ask you,’ Delia stage whispered, swaying slightly where she stood. She blinked and Valerie noticed her eyes were red and glazed over. She seemed as pleasantly drunk as Valerie was. 

By now the two groups had split up and Patsy and Lucille were waiting impatiently for their respective partners to finish their conversation. Patsy stepped out into the street to hail a cab while they talked. 

‘What? What is it?’ Valerie asked, blinking. She closed one eye so that she could possibly try and see only one of Delia. 

‘Do you like puppies?’ Delia asked, her gaze intense and unwavering. 

Valerie scrunched up her face, confused, finding the question absurd, ‘Puppies?’

‘Yes. This is very important,’ Delia said. 

Valerie put a hand on Delia’s shoulder to steady herself, ‘Yes, puppies. I love puppies Delia. Do you have puppies?’ 

‘We have a Doctor Girlfriend.’ 

‘You have a puppy named Doctor Girlfriend!?’

‘I named her after Patsy. She’s Patsy’s baby. They look so much alike, Val,’ Delia said, grasping onto Valerie’s top, ‘I’m just telling you this because Doctor Girlfriend will be coming with us when we go camping. I needed to know if you like puppies because we’re bringing her. I can’t leave my baby home all alone, Val.’

‘Delia,’ Valerie said, petting Delia’s face, ‘I can’t wait to meet her.’ 

‘OK, good because she’s an absolute angel,’ Delia reached up and rested her hands on Valerie’s cheeks, 'She's a wonderful doctor. She cures depression and loneliness, Val. She’s going to love you and Lucille.’ 

A cab finally pulled up and Patsy stepped between the two of them, ‘Sheesh, this must have been what Trixie was talking about’ she said, disentangling Delia from Valerie and pulling her away, ‘Alright, bedtime for you. Now.’ 

Lucille stepped forward and grasped Valerie by the hand, pulling her in the opposite direction. 

‘Val… Valerie!’ Delia called out in her drunken state as she was pulled away, ‘Doctor Girlfriend!’ 

‘Get in the cab, Delia!’ Patsy shouted over her and ushered her into the back of the car. She closed the door and walked to the other side to get in. 

As they started to pull away, Delia rolled down the window and stuck her head out.

‘I’ll text you pictures, Val!’

‘I can’t wait to see them!’ Valerie shouted as Lucille dragged her away by the hand. Valerie stumbled slightly before she matched her pace with Lucille's as they walked down the street.

‘Why were you petting Delia’s face?’ Lucille asked, rather bristled. 

‘I was practicing, obviously.’

‘Practicing?’

‘Petting! They have a puppy that’s coming with us.’ 

‘You can practice petting on me!’ Lucille said, playfully pinching Valerie on the arm, ‘And what do you mean coming with us?’

‘Camping.’

‘Oh, that. Barbara told me about that.’ 

‘She did?’

‘Yes. Do you want to go?’ Lucille asked as they turned the corner, ‘I think it sounds like fun!’ 

‘I was going to ask you the same thing! Yes I want to go! I’ve never been camping before though.’ 

‘I have a tent I can borrow from Jenny, I think.’ 

‘Can you get off work that weekend?’

‘Val, it’s a library. It’ll be closed for the holiday.’

‘Oh. Right.’

‘She said there might be swimming, too?’

‘Yes,’ Valerie scanned her brain, wondering the last time she even saw a bathing suit for herself in her wardrobe. She would need to search for something when she got home. 

‘I don’t think I brought a suit with me when I moved here,’ Lucille blithely mentioned. 

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah,’ Lucille smiled slyly, ‘I think I should take you shopping with me for a new one. Maybe a bikini.’

Valerie suddenly stumbled over her own feet, causing Lucille to tighten her grip on her, giggling slightly. 

Valerie blinked several times, feeling her cheeks turn pink. The thought of Lucille in a bikini made her skin feel hot and her heart flutter. 

‘What’s the matter?’ Lucille asked, smiling. 

‘Absolutely nothing is the matter,’ Valerie said, her cheeks turning more red, ‘just… you. In a bikini. It makes feel… things.’ 

‘Feel things?’ 

‘Yes.’

‘Like the same things as when I put your fingers in my mouth?’ She asked, finding Valerie’s index finger and nibbling on it slightly. 

‘Ah!’ Valerie jumped and pulled her hands away, ‘None of that! I’ll not be giving you the satisfaction of leaving me tonight all hot and bothered.’

‘Aw, but it’s fun,’ Lucille said with a mischievous glint in her eye, ‘now gimme those hands.’

‘No!’ Valerie put her hands behind her back, turning around and walking backwards so she could keep an eye on Lucille.

‘Spoil sport.’

‘I told you earlier that’s for sexy occasions only,’ Valerie said, looking at Lucille warningly. 

‘Oh,’ Lucille huffed, ‘I suppose I shouldn’t abuse it then.’ 

‘Damn right.’ 

Lucille reached out and hooked her finger in Valerie’s belt loop, causing her to stop. She reached up and wrapped her arms around Valerie’s shoulders, pressing her body snugly against Valerie’s before she leaned in for a sweet kiss. 

‘Did you have fun tonight?’ she asked, her fingers finding their way through Valerie’s hair. 

Valerie smiled, ‘Oh, yes. I really loved the dinner you made for me and I loved hearing you sing.’

‘Is that all?’ Lucille asked with a sparkle in her eye.

‘I also loved when you asked me to be your girlfriend,’ Valerie said, wrapping her arms around Lucille and kissing her on the neck, ‘that was my absolute favorite part,’ she added, kissing Lucille on her eyebrows, her cheeks, and her chin before placing a deep kiss on her soft lips. 

Lucille smiled into their kiss and giggled as she pulled away, ‘That was my favorite part, too. I’m happy you said yes.’ 

‘I’m happy you asked,’ Valerie smiled. 

Lucille sighed happily, her hand coming to cradle the back of Valerie’s head as she placed sweet, soft kisses along Valerie’s neck, making her purr. 

‘Good,’ she said softly in Valerie’s ear, ‘I like making you happy.’ 

Lucille pulled away slightly and Valerie looked up. 

‘This is my house.’

‘Yes,’ Lucille kissed her on the cheek, ‘This is where I leave you. I can make it home myself tonight.’ 

‘Are you sure?’

Lucille smiled, ‘Yes. You look as if you’re about to pass out anyway.’ 

‘Oh, I’m not that bad,’ she blinked, still seeing two of Lucille. 

‘It’s alright. You go on in and get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Lucille grasped both of Valerie's hands in hers and looked up at her, kissing Valerie sweetly once more before she opened the front door for her and ushered her in. 

‘Drink a glass of water before you go to bed, honey.’ 

‘I will. Text me when you get home?’ 

‘I will,’ Lucille said, resolute. She had a smile on her face as she closed the door, and Valerie felt a twinge of sadness when she disappeared from her view. 

Not one to necessarily disobey orders from those she loved, Valerie went to the kitchen and downed a glass of water before she made her way back to the lounge, scooping Nikki up from her spot on the sofa and crash landing on the creaky yet soft piece of furniture. 

‘Nikki,’ Valerie said, pulling her cat close to her so that she rested on her chest, ‘I have a girlfriend. I’m so fucking happy,’ Valerie whispered, closing her eyes as Nikki settled in on her chest. She gave the cat a few affectionate pecks on the head as she closed her eyes, ‘Don’t let me fuck this up, Nikki.’ she said, her breathing growing heavy as she got comfortable. ‘I’m counting on you,’ she said, trailing off as the urge to sleep could be resisted no longer. Valerie as soon lightly snoring from her spot on the sofa with Nikki purring gently against her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, yes, the DJ in the pub _was in fact_ Garth from Wayne's World. Party time. 
> 
> I wish I could give you a sneak peek into next weeks chapter, but I haven't written it yet. I imagine there will be a road trip and lots of drinking involved around an open fire, which is exactly what this story needs, yeah?
> 
>  
> 
> [Knee](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-Chapter-14-1-749803904)  
> [Bum Fight](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-Chapter-14-2-749804098)  
> [Some #LucnVal fluff](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Fluff-749822059?ga_submit_new=10%3A1529032564)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes camping!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A silly little chapter. Enjoy.

Valerie and Lucille stood outside on the front stoop of Valerie's home, half awake and yawning every other minute, rocking on their heels and stretching. They looked a sight with several bags strapped to their back and around their feet, full of a long weekends worth of clothes, swimwear, sleeping bags and pillows, and an extra long bag carrying a tent borrowed from Lucille’s flatmate Jenny. Valerie had her mind on the cooler full of a weekend's worth of food and alcohol that she was looking forward to once they got to where they were going.

‘Six AM on the dot!’ Patsy had implored to Valerie the evening before as they were locking up the clinic for the night, ‘Everyone and their mother will be on the road getting out of town for the weekend and I want to get out of the city before the rush comes!’

So here they stood. Waiting for Patsy and Delia to show up and whisk them away, Trixie and Barbara having already taken off in the caravan by themselves to meet them at the campsite. It was nearing quarter after and Valerie was not so fondly reminded of all her time in the army being told to ‘hurry up and wait’. The four am wake-up calls to dress and pack and catch a bus somewhere or another that never picked them up anywhere close to on time while being yelled at came to mind. Thankfully no one was screaming at her… for now.

Valerie cracked an eye open and looked over at her girlfriend. Her eyes were barely open, tears forming at the edges of them while she let out another long yawn, wiggling her nose as she closed her mouth again. She looked so cute Valerie just wanted to scoop her up.

‘OK… they have two more minutes or I’m going back to bed,’ Lucille grumbled.

‘Me too,’ Valerie commented, ‘we can just leave all our stuff out here.’

Lucille hugged her bag, ‘No,’

‘Why?’

‘I like my stuff,’ she mumbled into her bag sleepily, and Valerie giggled.

It was just then a beat up old subaru forester scooted by with the windows rolled down. Delia’s head appeared in the the window in the front, the head of an excitable brittany spaniel puppy with floppy ears popped out of the window in the back.

‘You’re late!’ Valerie griped.

Delia grinned and held up a tray of coffees, ‘We needed to pick up reinforcements!

Lucille's eyes lit up at the sight of coffee and Valerie could see Patsy on the other side of the car behind the steering wheel, looking angry and grumbling as she awkwardly shifted the car into first gear, the transmission groaning as she did so.

Delia hopped out and walked around the car, opening the boot, ‘Throw your stuff in here and let’s get going!’ she said rather chipper. She skipped around as if she had already had several shots of espresso. Valerie and Lucille shuffled over to the car, Delia walking over to them to help carry the bags they couldn’t carry with them.

Valerie tossed her bags in, stuffing them down on top of Patsy and Delias things and then helped with Lucille’s bags before she walked over to a very grumpy looking Patsy, leaning down slightly to look at her through the window.

‘Alright there, Mount?’

‘I would be if Delia wasn’t making me drive,’ she said, clenching her jaw and crossing her arms.

‘You need the practice, darling!’ Delia shouted, slamming the boot closed.

‘Delia,’ started Lucille, looking at the bumper, ‘What is that?’

Curious as to what she was looking at, Valerie walked to the back of the car and saw two rubber chickens tied to either side of the bumper with copious amounts of twine.

‘It’s my super duper technologically advanced back-up sensor!’ Delia exclaimed, her foot coming up to kick one of the chickens and it made a _huck-ahh_ noise.

Valerie had to grasp onto the roof of the car to keep herself from falling to her knees laughing, ‘Are you fucking joking, mate?!’ she managed to choke out, her head in the crook of her elbow as she gasped for air.

‘No way!’ Delia exclaimed indignantly, hands on her hips, ‘It’s a great way to keep Patsy from slamming into anyone behind her when she parallel parks,’ She looked to Lucille for support, but found none as she had both hands over her face in a fit of laughter, wiping away tears.

‘Will you lot just get in already!’ Patsy shouted cantankerously from her spot in the driver's seat. 

Valerie was able to compose herself enough to go around to the other side of the car. Her intent was to sit behind Patsy, but Doctor Girlfriend met her at the window with a stuffed rabbit hanging from her mouth.

‘Oh, is that for me?’ Valerie asked, finding her voice rising a few octaves. It surprised her as she was not used to interacting with dogs, but this one just had such big eyes and a sweet disposition.

‘Guys, meet Doctor Girlfriend,’ Delia said as she climbed into the passenger seat. She reached back and grabbed the dog by the jowls, the motion causing the dog to expose her teeth, ‘See? Doesn’t she look just like Patsy?’

‘Oh, yeah, definitely,’ Valerie said as she climbed in behind Patsy and slammed the door. Valerie looked to the scruffy smiling dog to the scruffy scowling Patsy in the front seat. The color of Doctor Girlfriends fur and Patsy's hair color did look rather similar. ‘Especially when you make her smile like that!’ Valerie added.

‘You’re just dead set at getting on my nerves today, aren’t you?’ Patsy quipped to Delia.

‘Oh, hush and have some tea,’ Delia let go of the dog and sank back in her seat, handing a cup to Patsy, ‘some caffeine will give you back your sense of humor.’

Patsy grumped and placed her tea in the cup holder. She moved to shift the car in reverse, the transmission groaning once again and the car lurched backwards, everyone in the car jolting forward in their seats as there was an audible squeak of rubber chickens permeating the air.

‘Ah, see, you’ve already gone and fucked up,’ Delia snickered.

‘That’s because your car is absolute rubbish,’ Patsy griped, fiddling with the joystick.

‘I don’t know, Patsy, the chickens have spoken.’

Patsy whipped around and playfully glared at Lucille, ‘Et tu, Lucille?’

Valerie looked over at her girlfriend and saw her guiltily bite her lip. She hugged Doctor Girlfriend, pulling the dog closer into her lap so she could hide her smile behind her floppy ears.

‘My car is not rubbish! And don’t talk about Ramona that way. You’ll hurt her feelings,’ Delia said, her hand coming to sooth over the dashboard of the car.

‘When we get back we are buying something made in the last decade that has a proper backup sensor!’ Patsy seethed. She slammed her foot on the clutch and shifted the gear into drive, and the car finally lurched forward with a jolt. Delia passed the two in the back their coffees, mumbling her thanks that their lids were securely fastened.

Doctor Girlfriend couldn’t decide whose lap to settle on, and while they drove through the streets of Poplar, she walked back and forth between Valerie and Lucille, sticking her head out of their respective window as they made their way out of the city, happily letting the two women in the back seat hug her and give her scratches behind the ears and on her belly.

As the city faded behind them and the buildings turned into homes and parks, Delia stuck a cassette tape into the player, the cord attached to it plugged into her phone. She began scrolling through her playlists and settled on a country song.

‘Oh god, no, Delia please,’ Patsy pleaded.

‘Oh fine,’ Delia said, changing the song to something that sounded like bluegrass.

‘Delia!’

‘What?! They’re different!’

‘They’re the same thing! Torture! My ears are bleeding!’

‘Oh, you are so dramatic! Here.’

Britney Spears ‘Toxic’ began to play.

‘Don’t ever say I don’t love you, Caridad,’ Delia quipped, rolling her eyes.

‘Britney, Mount? Really?’ Valerie asked incredulously.

Patsy ignored her tone, ‘Don’t talk shit about Britney,’ she said, sipping her tea.

‘It is a good song,’ Lucille piped up quietly, her arms wrapped around the dog, holding her securely in her lap as she stuck her head out the window. Valerie raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Yes, see, Lucille, I knew you were the good one,’ Patsy remarked.

‘Val, it looks like you and I will need to form an alliance here in this car,’ Delia said.

‘Oh, I hate country, too.’

‘Ah, fuck!’ Delia said, defeated, and Patsy laughed triumphantly next to her.

They continued to drive along, the homes soon giving way to rolling green countryside as they chatted and fought over music. The car grew silent as Delia’s phone clicked over to Dreams by The Cranberries. Patsy turned up the volume wordlessly, and Valerie was overcome with the urge to reach for Lucille’s hand. She interlocked her fingers with her girlfriends, smiling sadly as she turned her head towards the window, watching the blue sky and the clouds roll by.

_‘Oh my life is changing every day_   
_In every possible way_   
_And oh my dreams_   
_It’s never quite as it seems’_

Valerie leaned back and closed her eyes, taking in the feeling of the sun on her face, the wind blowing against her skin and through her hair, feeling a sense of calm in this moment as the four of them shared this song together.

* * *

The four women arrived at the campsite by lunchtime, pulling up to a small caravan that was hitched to a little blue Toyota hatchback. Valerie assumed it was Barbara and Trixies car.

As they all got out and stretched their legs, Valerie looked around, taking in their surroundings. They were in a clearing surrounded by trees, little footpaths scattered through them leading to lakes and rivers and other hiking trails. The branches and leaves created much needed shade from the sun over their little spot. There were several outdoor chairs that Valerie suspected belonged to Barbara that were circled around the fire pit. She also noticed a rather weather worn picnic table she assumed lived here at the site for other campers to use. Valerie found the entire place rather charming, liking the little bit of privacy the circle of trees created for their group.

‘Alright?’ Barbara asked as she approached everyone. Trixie was off to the side having a cigarette.

‘Yeah, where are the toilets?’ Delia asked urgently.

Barbara smiled, and pointed to the direction from where the cane, ‘You passed them. They’re just a little ways up the hill there. Brick building. Can’t miss it.’

Delia and Lucille hurried off together to relieve themselves while Valerie opened the boot to start unloading. Patsy took Doctor Girlfriend by the lead and tied her up to one of the chairs set around the fire pit before coming over to help Valerie.

‘If you want to set up your tents there,’ Barbara pointed to some flat space on the ground, ‘I figure we could have a nice little circle with the campfire in the middle.’

Valerie took her tent and placed it a little ways away from the fire pit, deciding to set it up with Lucille once she got back.

‘I’ll take any food you have,’ Trixie said walking over, ‘we can keep it in the refrigerator in the caravan.’

Patsy lifted Valerie’s cooler with a grunt, ‘Jesus Dyer, you bring the whole kitchen?’

‘Just the whole liquor cabinet. The good stuff is courtesy the Black Sail pub,’ Valerie smiled, taking her cooler and following Trixie into the caravan. Valerie took a moment to look inside the small thing. There was a little kitchenette, a bench, some cabinets. There was a back section hidden behind a flowery curtain that she assumed was the bedroom. Another door next to it was opened and Valerie saw a small toilet and a sink.

‘Nice,’ Valerie commented appreciatively, ‘this is a really cute caravan.’

‘This is what Barbara and her sister traveled the country in with their father when they were kids,’ Trixie remarked as she moved the food and booze from Valerie’s cooler to the refrigerator, ‘this little thing was basically her home until she was sixteen.’

‘Gosh,’ Valerie marveled, wondering just what kind of life Barbara had, and how three people managed to live in this thing. She would have to find a moment to sit down and talk with her about it later.

The two left the caravan to find Barbara and Patsy setting up her and Delia’s tent.

‘Where’s yours?’ Valerie asked Trixie.

‘We will be sleeping in the caravan, thank you very much! Away from the elements and bugs.’

‘And with your own private toilet, eh?’

‘No having to trek up the hill on the middle of the night for us!’

Valerie chuckled and shook her head, ‘Suppose the rest of us plebes will have to brave the dark and scary woods if we need to go.’

‘As my dad used to say, ‘It builds character!’’ Trixie grumped. Given the tone, Valerie suspected Trixies father may have made her take more camping trips than she would have liked as a kid.

Valerie walked over from the caravan to find Patsy and Barbara looking down at their newly raised tent rather triumphantly.

‘Alright,’ Patsy said, giving her hands a resounding clap, ‘let's get the fire going.’

‘Really? I thought we would want to wait until evening?’ Valerie asked.

‘The smoke will help keep the bugs away,’ Barbara said.

‘Plus, I just really want to start a fire,’ Patsy grinned, holding up two sticks.

‘Oh, you plan on doing that the old fashioned way then?’ Valerie said challengingly, her hands on her hips.

‘I can certainly try,’ Patsy said, rubbing her sticks together.

‘Patsy, have you ever been outside?’ Barbara asked teasingly, ‘You really think that’s how it’s done?’

‘I’ve seen it in movies!’

‘Oh, and that’s how they do it then? Scrape two bits of wood together like they’re sharpening a knife?’ Valerie asked teasingly.

‘Well I don’t see you suggesting otherwise.’

‘You need flint or something, you numpty,’ Valerie quipped.

‘Or some dry leaves and a lot of friction,’ added Barbara, ‘you’ll never get them to start smoking rubbing them together that slowly.’

‘We’ll go and get me some leaves or whatever,’ Patsy directed to Barbara, who rolled her eyes dismissively and walked off, ‘Dyer, stay here and help me.’

‘I don’t really think this needs to be a two person operation,’ Valerie teased.

‘Sure it does,’ said Patsy, getting to her knees, ‘you hold this one down on the ground so I can use both hands to swivel this one or whatever.’

Valerie rolled her eyes and stepped on the stick, holding it firm against the ground with her foot while Patsy swiveled the other stick against it with both hands. She repeated this motion several more times to no avail.

‘This is going to take ages,’ Valerie huffed, crossing her arms.

‘You have such little faith in me?’

‘It’s the 21st century, you know. There’s other ways this could be done that are less time consuming.’

‘Dyer we are trying to get back to nature, here. Where’s your sense of adventure?’

‘No wifi for four days is about all I can take.’

The two stopped speaking as they heard the sound of liquid pouring near them by the fire pit. They turned and saw Trixie squirting the wood with lighter fluid. She snapped the lid on the bottle shut and pulled out a match, lighting it and dropping it over the pit. The fire flared to life and Trixie tisked.

‘See, she’s the smart one,’ Valerie said.

‘Just my luck I’m the only femme stuck in the woods with a bunch of useless butches,’ Trixie said, turning her nose up at the two women and walking away.

Patsy scrambled to her feet, shouting back at Trixies retreating form, ‘ _Useless_?!’ she repeated, ‘Well see how you feel if you fall and crack your head open! I won’t be so useless to you then!’

‘Oh, like I’m not surrounded by other medical professionals who couldn’t patch me up,’ she said sarcastically, walking over to the caravan and retrieving an axe.

‘Ah!’ Patsy shouted, retreating to hide behind Valerie as Trixie strode back over to them.

‘Here, lumberjane,’ she said, holding the axe out to Patsy, ‘go and make yourself useful and chop some more wood for the fire. Valerie!’

Valerie jumped, glad Trixie was no longer holding the axe.

‘Go and set up your tent before your girl gets back,’ she threw the bottle of lighter fluid and the matches to Valerie, who juggled them slightly as she caught them, ‘and then throw some charcoal in the barbecue for lunch. Barbara!’

A window swung open and Barbara could be seen from inside the caravan, smiling, her expression showing no signs that Trixie was on the warpath.

‘Yes, peaches?’

‘Come and help me set up the hammock! I came here to relax, damn it, and I intend to do so as soon as possible!’

‘Better do what she says, Dyer,’ Patsy whispered out of the corner of her mouth, eyes wide and alert.

Valerie glared at Patsy, ‘Some officer you are. In my eyes, you’ve officially been decommissioned from Captain to weenie.’

‘Careful there Dyer. I’m holding an axe.’

‘Lighter fluid and matches,’ Valerie shot back, holding up the items in her hands, ‘I can turn you into an even more flaming gay than you already are.’

‘Oh, not possible,’ Delia said. Both Patsy and Valerie turned to see Delia and Lucille approaching them casually from their trip back from the toilets, ‘Patsy's already so flaming she burns gayer than the sun.’

‘Thank god you’re here,’ Patsy said, ‘Trixie is running around yelling demands like Veruca Salt in the chocolate factory.’

‘Oh calm down,’ Delia smirked, ‘she probably just needs a cigarette.’

‘What I need is some lunch!’ Trixie shouted from across the site. All eyes turned to look at her and watched as she fenegaled with the hammock along with poor Barbara who was looking increasingly more tangled up in it by the moment.

* * *

Valerie found herself an hour later standing over the barbecue minding the bratwurst while both Lucille and Barbara hovered over her, critiquing her grilling and chatting idly amongst themselves. Trixie was happily in her hammock, enjoying a cigarette and working her way through a large stack of Vogue magazines while sipping some cucumber water. Patsy and Delia had ventured off with Doctor Girlfriend to explore the area and hopefully tucker the pup out before they settled in for the evening.

Valerie smiled thinking about Doctor Girlfriend, ‘I must say those two have an adorable dog.’

Lucille smiled, ‘I’m surprised you took being with her so well.’

‘What?’ Valerie asked incredulously, ‘What do you mean? I love animals!’

‘You’re just used to kitties, is all, not excitable dogs.’

Valerie shrugged and flipped a brat on the barbecue, ‘I identify more with creatures who are a bit more laid back like myself, I suppose. Can’t see myself chasing after a puppy.’

Lucille crossed her arms, ‘How about a baby?’

Valerie raised her eyebrow and clicked her tongs together, ‘The only baby I feel like chasing after at the moment is you, darling’, she winked and Lucille blushed, ‘besides, there’s plenty of little ones for me to mind at the clinic.’

Lucille shook her head, smirking, ‘Yeah, maybe you should just stick to cats for now.’

‘Oh? You have a cat Valerie?’ Barbara asked.

‘Yeah, her name is Nikki. She’s an old girl but quite loving. Especially in the jumper Lou here made for her.’

‘I thought she hated it,’ Lucille smirked.

‘It’s growing on her,’ Valerie grinned.

‘You made a cat jumper?’ Barbara asked.

‘Val here had shaved the cat. The poor thing was shivering when I saw her for the first time.’

‘Oh, she was not. It had been almost 40 all week and she needed a cut anyway.’

‘I’ve been working on my knitting,’ Barbara interjected, ‘try to fit it in on the ride to and from work when Trixie drives. I’m still quite awful at it. Have only managed to make myself a teal beanie that’s three sizes too big. Think I might have to gift it to Patsy.’

‘Barbara I’m sure it’s turned out fine. If anything we should see if the cat needs it,’ she teased, looking at Valerie who stuck out her tongue.

‘Do you have any pets Lucille?’ Barbara asked.

Lucille nodded, ‘I had a dog growing up back home. She was a black lab named Molly.’

‘Oh? I didn’t know you had a dog,’ Valerie said.

Lucille waived her hand dismissively, sighing, ‘I don’t anymore. She died back when I was about 16 and my parents just never got another. Just as well, they both work and my brother and I don’t live at home so there would be no one to look after the thing, but,’ she sighed nostalgically, ‘I really loved that dog. She was a really sweet thing. Wasn’t a bad bone in her body and was always there to cuddle with when I was feeling sad.’

‘Would you like another someday?’ Barbara asked.

‘Of course I would! I love dogs, but it just wouldn’t be right to get one now. Maybe someday when I settle and have my own flat. I’ll get a little one that’s easy to carry around and cuddle with,’ she sighed dreamily.

Valerie smiled affectionately at Lucille. It made a lot more sense now why she had been so comfortable with the awkward Doctor Girlfriend crawling all over her in the back seat earlier. She imagined a younger Lucille running around with her lab as a kid, and cuddling with her at night, petting her sweetly behind the ears while reading her books.

‘How about you, Barbara?’ Valerie asked, ‘did you have any pets growing up?’

‘Oh,’ Barbara blushed, ‘nothing terribly exciting. I didn’t have any cats or dogs because we were traveling all the time, but I did have a series of hamsters named Persephone.’

Lucille gasped excitedly, ‘Persephone! Oh, I love that name! That’s from Greek mythology, right?’

‘Yes!’ Barbara lit up, ‘Queen of the underworld and of fertility and vegetation.’

‘An entirely appropriate name for a hamster then…’ Valerie quipped amused, then paused. ‘Wait,’ she said, ‘a _series_ of hamsters? Meaning you gave all your hamsters the same name?’

‘Yes. I just really liked the name Persephone. Reminded me of my mum because my dad said her smile would make the flowers grow, just like Persephone brought back the spring in the myths. So when one died, dad would get me and Margaret another and the legacy would live on.’

‘That’s pretty sweet, actually,’ Lucille said, ‘do you mind if I ask about your mother?’

‘Oh, sure,’ Barbara said, scratching the back of her head in thought, ‘Passed away… oh, about 16 years ago now. It was cancer. She had always been very sickly, and died when my sister and I were nine and ten years old. She lived with it for while though, so when she finally did go it was more of a relief that she wasn’t in any more pain,’ Barbara sighed sadly, ‘still miss her terribly though. My father dealt with the loss by packing us up and attending all the revivals that popped up across the country. I was basically homeschooled until I was 16 because we were traveling all the time.’

‘Really? Why until then? You didn’t run away, did you?’ Valerie teased.

‘Oh, no, nothing as drastic as that. I went to finish off my A-levels. Got into a boarding school in London on scholarship. Same one as Trixie,’ she smiled, looking over to her girlfriend, ‘that’s how we met.’

‘Yes and I remember you looking quite fetching in your blazer and little tie,’ Trixie interjected from her spot in the hammock.

‘Oh, so that’s your story, huh?’ Valerie said looking between the two, ‘some all girls boarding school romance is how you got together, hmm ?’

Barbara and Trixie shared a look and burst out laughing.

‘I take it that’s not that happened then?’ Lucille smirked at Valerie who looked dismayed.

‘Not at all, unfortunately,’ Barbara said, her laughter abiding, ‘she had me pegged as a rebel the moment she laid eyes on me.’

‘Well you show up to school the first day with a counterfeit pin on your blazer. What was I supposed to think?’

‘A pin?’

‘Trixie was a prefect. She was already in her last year when I was starting my first. She caught me walking through the doors on the first day wearing a Smiths pin on the strap of my rucksack.’

‘You? A perfect?’ Valerie asked, looking to Trixie with wide eyes.

‘Why the tone of surprise? I was a good student.’

‘And you… a Smiths fan?’

Barbara shrugged, ‘I was into emo before emo was a thing. I love them all; The Cure, Joy Division, David Bowie, Radiohead,’ she waved her hand around as if to say etcetera.

‘We’ll go on then. Did Trixie lay down the law about your pin?’ Lucille asked.

‘Actually it was rather sweet,’ Barbara looked up in thought, ‘she stopped me and told me I couldn’t be wearing that, but then she unpinned it from my strap, opened my blazer and pinned it on the inside so it was hidden. And then she said, ‘Best to keep Morrissey close to your heart, where he belongs’.’

‘Aw, that’s cute. Did you two become friends after that?’

‘Oh, no. I was basically a kid in Trixies eyes. She wanted nothing to do with me at the time and I was much too shy to approach her myself and actually engage in a conversation with her. Though she did keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t show up with anything else on my uniform that didn’t belong.’

‘No uniform infractions under my watch,’ Trixie quipped, turning a page in her magazine.

‘So how did you two end up together?’

‘Well, we happened to bump into each other again a few years later at a party after I had graduated and Trixie was already in her second year at Uni,’ Barbara looked tentatively at Trixie and then down at her shoes, ‘it was a rather… erm, difficult night for Trixie. I saw her home and made sure she was alright the next day. Things after that kind of clicked and we became inseparable friends after that.’

‘And then you two fell in love right?’

Barbara laughed nervously, ‘Ah, well, that was another long road, but we got there eventually.’

Valerie watched as Barbara turned beet red and sensed that she was feeling rather shy all of a sudden. She decided to steer the conversation back to pets.

‘How about you then, Trixie?’

‘Hmm?’ Trixie hummed, not looking up from her magazine.

‘Did you have any pets growing up?’

‘No,’ she said, flipping idly through her magazine, ‘Though, my gran had a cockatoo I would play with when she watched me. It would bob its head up and down to music and stack it’s little rainbow cups with its feet.’

‘Sounds adorable. What was its name?’ Lucille asked.

‘Gandalf.’

‘Gandalf?’ Valerie chuckled, ‘you mean like that wizard from Harry Potter?’

Lucille gasped, horrified.

‘What?’ Valerie asked.

‘Valerie, no!’

‘What?!’

‘Gandalf is from Lord of the Rings!’

‘Dumbledore is the one from Harry Potter,’ Barbara said.

‘No, Dumbledore is the talking lion from that one movie.’ Valerie replied with an air of confidence, clinking her metal tongs knowingly.

‘Ahh!’ Lucille screamed, not believing her ears, ‘Valerie! That lions name is Aslan and he is from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe!’ Lucille looked like she was about to pull her hair out.

‘Oh! God, why did I think Aslan was the blue box guy?’ Valerie said, her finger coming to her chin inquiringly.

‘You mean Dr. Who?’ Barbara asked.

‘Yeah! You know, the one where a bunch of time traveling teenagers run around solving mysteries with that dog?’

‘That’s Scooby Doo, not Dr. Who!’ Trixie said from her spot on the hammock, not bothering to look up from her magazine.

‘Or Harry Potter, really, if you think about it.’ Barbara interjected, ‘minus the dog.’

Lucille rolled her eyes, ‘They had Fang, Barbara, come on now, and anyway he was an integral part of Harry and Draco finding Voldemort drinking the unicorn's blood in the forbidden forest.’

‘I know that but I still will never understand why they would send first year students into the forbidden forest and then just split up like that’.

‘Safely was never a concern for Dumbledore. I mean, when Quirrell ran into the great hall shouting ‘TROLL’ you would think they would go on lockdown and send out a few experienced staff to handle it, but _noo_! Everyone back to their dormitories, pretending like sending all the students out swarming throughout the school wasn’t a terrible idea!’

‘Especially for the Slytherin students whose dorms were in the dungeon!’

‘Precisely. Not logical at all, although I will commend Rowling for keeping his incompetence consistent throughout the books; Dumbledore only got the job for being a powerful wizard and him being a terrible administrator is completely canon.’

‘Well I mean, dumb is in his name,’ Barbara laughed. 

‘I think the dumbest thing was making the students sign a permission slip to go to a candy store but not to play a sport that could kill them.’ 

‘Or how he made the secret passage _and_ the shrieking shack _specifically_ for Lupin and then couldn’t figure out how Sirius Black was getting into the school. 

‘Or what about giving Hermione a time turner to take more classes? What were they thinking? Also, why didn’t she just use the thing to take more naps instead of running around stressed out all the time?’ 

‘I like naps.’

Barbara and Lucille whipped around and saw Valerie casually munching on a brat.

Lucille blinked, coming back to the moment and her eyes narrowed menacingly on Valerie, ‘...you!’

‘Eep!’ Valerie squeaked and dropped her bratwurst as Lucille turned to face her with a fire in her eyes.

‘I’m adding all these books to your reading list! These were written by English authors, too! Honestly, how did this all completely go over your head growing up?!’

‘Oh, what?’ Valerie groaned, ‘But the term starts next week! I’m going to have to start studying again and won’t have time to read all that!’

‘Too bad! You have at least a fortnight until your first assignments will be due! That’s plenty of time. Damn,’ she remarked, ‘how am I just now finding this out about you? Wish I would have known so I could have brought some of the books from the library with me.’

‘I think I may have some here,’ Barbara said, ‘might not be what we’ve talked about, but I might be able to find something that’s a classic we can get her started on.’ She began walking towards the caravan.

‘Can I come see?’ Lucille asked, her tone suddenly much more calm towards Barbara, ‘I’d love to look at your library,’ she said, following.

The two walked off, tittering about books and Harry Potter plot holes.

‘Well they seem to be getting on well,’ Trixie quipped, disentangling herself from the hammock and walking over to Valerie.

‘Yeah, ganging up on me is more like,’ Valerie griped, plating the food.

‘No, it’s good that they’re bonding, even if it is to gang up against you,’ she grinned sweetly to counter Valerie’s scowl, ‘I’ve told Barbara about your little situation and she’s willing to help out.’

Valerie turned completely red, having forgotten she even mentioned anything to Trixie about it. She turned and faced Trixie, looking a little horrified, ‘You don’t think she’ll make it too obvious that I’ve told anyone about it, will she?’

‘Oh, no, Babs is much too shy to just come right out with it. She seems to think it will come along naturally, though. If Lucille starts to ask her questions, Barbara will answer them,’ Trixie gave a reassuring smile, ‘we just need to give it time and let it play out.’

‘Let what play out?’

Trixie and Barbara turned to see Delia behind them, Patsy in the background tying up Doctor Girlfriend next to a bowl of water.

‘Is this about that thing you told us about a few weeks ago?’ Patsy asked, and Valerie smacked her forehead, having forgotten that Patsy was there to overhear that conversation, too.

‘What thing? What’s the thing?’ Delia asked, looking around.

‘It’s private,’ Valerie said, blushing. Delia was not amused.

‘Oh, a private thing that everyone here knows about except for me?’ she said, hands on her hips.

Everyone shared a tense look.

‘That’s it, where's the axe,’ Delia huffed, looking around.

Valerie grabbed her by the arm before she could go over to he stump and grab the axe from where Patsy had been chopping wood earlier, ‘Alright, alright! No need to do anything drastic,’ she said sighing.

‘Well?’

Valerie rolled her eyes, blushing, ‘It’s nothing, really. I’m just the first woman Lou has dated.’

‘So? Is that a problem?’

‘No… it’s just… we haven’t… she isn’t ready for… you know,’ Valerie shrugged, hoping she would catch her drift.

‘And Barbara will help with that because…?’

‘They were both brought up religious. We’re hoping Babs will share her story and make Lucille feel more comfortable with her sexuality,’ Trixie chimed in, to Valerie’s relief.

‘Erm, yeah,’ Valerie continued, ‘Lucille has come to terms with being bi but still has some conflicting feelings about taking that next step. Like she feels guilty for enjoying the things we have done and it's difficult for her to move past it,’ Valerie shyly scratched the back of her head, ‘I don’t want to do anything until she’s completely ready… so… yeah. I’m hoping a chat with Barbara might help.’

‘Oh, is that all?’ Delia said, ‘I thought you were upset she was making you wait like this one here did with me,’ she pointed her thumb to Patsy who was standing behind her, ‘This one here had me waiting months.’

Patsy looked thoroughly confused, ‘Deels, we literally started having sex within minutes of our first kiss.’

‘Nope,’ Delia said stubbornly, ‘In my mind we started dating the night we met in Frankfurt.’

Patsy rolled her eyes, ‘In your mind, hmm?’

‘Yes. Turns out you were very much worth the wait, but at least Valerie here is getting some kisses and cuddling. You didn’t even do so much as hold my hand for months,’ she pouted.

‘Yes and I’m very much looking forward to spending the rest of my life making up for being so silly,’ Patsy said sweetly, kissing Delia on top of her head.

Delia smiled and closed her eyes, ‘Well,’ she continued, ‘If you ever do get to that point with Lucille, I’ve got some great playlists I can send you to get you in the mood.’

‘Uh,’ Valerie stuttered awkwardly as Delia pulled out her phone. She held it out towards Valerie as if she were holding upen a trench coat full of counterfeit watches.

‘What’s your pleasure?’ she asked, ‘I’ve got some modern RnB right here with some SZA, H.E.R, I’ve got Jorja Smith, The Weekend, Janelle Monae…’ she trailed off, her finger swiping through her phone quickly, showing off her large collection of digital music.

‘Delia I don’t think...’ Valerie trailed off, feeling her face grow hot.

‘You want something more classic? I’ve got that too! Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder… or maybe you’re more into the early 90’s? Boys to Men, En Vogue? She seems to really like Beyoncé though. Maybe some Destiny's Child will get her in the mood.’

‘Ooh, try Janet Jackson,’ Patsy chimed in, ‘Any Time, Any Place is a favorite of mine.’

Delia gasped, still scrolling, ‘I forgot about Aaliyah! How about Usher? Toni Braxton?’ 

‘Sade!’ Delia and Patsy said at the same time. 

‘Guys!’ Valerie shouted, covering her face with her hands thinking that ‘Smooth Operator’ was definitely in no way going to be appropriate or an accurate representation of how she would be feeling in that moment if it ever did come. Valerie sighed, feeling thoroughly embarrassed. Delia was talking about sex with her so casually she wondered if there was some parallel universe where she had a similar conversation like this before.

‘Delia really, I think I can manage the mood music if we ever get to that point,’ Valerie said, desperately wanting this conversation o be over, ‘I’ll call you if I need any suggestions, alright?’

Delia beamed, ‘Alright!’

The door to the caravan burst open and Lucille as Barbara appeared, carrying out a book and a bowl of coleslaw.

‘Lunch is on!’ Barbara said as she set the coleslaw down on the picnic table next to the bratwurst.

‘Here, Valerie,’ Lucille said as she approached, 'It’s not Lord of the Rings, but it’s another English classic you can start on. Figured if anything by the Brontë sisters could be added to your list of countrymen you should be reading.'

Valerie looked at the cover of Wuthering Heights and sighed, ‘Oh boy, sounds thrilling.’

She opened the front cover and read the title page which said ‘Best Lesbian Erotica 2009.’

Valerie looked to Patsy and tossed her the book, ‘This must be one of yours.’

Patsy caught the book and grinned after reading the title page, ‘Ah, good year,’ she said like she was assessing a fine wine.

‘What?’ Lucille asked, ‘Give me that!’ she said and snatched the book back from Patsy. She opened the book and scanned a few pages, slamming it shut with a blush feathering across her cheeks, ‘What is it with you lot and disguising your smut like this?’

‘Whoops,’ Barbara said, blushing profusely, ‘must have forgotten to give that back after I borrowed it. Sorry Patsy.’

Everyone looked at Barbara, who suddenly looked around frantically for anything to take the attention off her, growing more and more red by the moment. 

‘Um. Foods getting cold!’ she said, tripping over her own feet slightly as she made her way towards the picnic table.

* * *

With lunch filling their bellies quite pleasantly, the rest of the afternoon was spent settling in. Valerie and Lucille finally set up their tent while the others got comfortable playing card games and reading around the fire, enjoying the occasional cocktail or glass of wine while Doctor Girlfriend flitted from lap to lap, getting in belly rubs and attention from whomever would give it. As the sun set and the fireflies floated about, the group decided to head to bed early, tired from rising early that morning and traveling half the day to their campsite. 

After a quick shower and brushing her teeth in the public restrooms, Valerie settled into her tent, Lucille already wrapped up in the soft duvet reading a book by torchlight. Valerie snuggled in tiredly next to her and rested her head in the crook of Lucille’s shoulder, breathing deep and feeling her muscles relax. 

‘I can’t believe you’ve never read Lord of the Rings,’ Lucille mumbled quietly. 

‘It just seems like such a commitment,’ Valerie wined, her face contorting as she huffed, ‘I read The Hobbit on the bus for a long school trip to Bath once. Do I get points for that?’ 

‘Oh, alright. Really though, Val, did you read at all other than school assignments?’ 

‘Of course I did. You’ve seen my Batman collection.’ 

‘Besides comic books!’

‘Sure…’ Valerie trailed off, thinking, ‘Kierkegaard’s Either/Or. Camus’ The Myth of Sisyphus and The Outsider. Thoreau’s Life in the Woods…’ 

Lucille blinked. She closed her book and looked down at Valerie, somewhat perplexed, ‘Philosophers? Modern philosophers?’ 

‘Hmm? Yeah,’ Valerie said, looking up at Lucille, ‘Their existentialism and rejection of modern ways of life pretty much shaped why I think we’re all just here randomly and need to create our own meaning… and of course finding happiness with the simple things in life.’ 

Lucille blinked, holding her gaze on Valerie’s sleepy face, having been rendered rather speechless. 

‘What’s the matter?’ 

‘Nothing. I’m just… you’re kind of amazing,’ she sighed,shaking her head slightly and tossed her book aside, scooting down and cuddling in closer next to Valerie, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed you never read simply because you don’t read fantasy.’ 

‘It’s alright,’ Valerie said, snuggling closer and giving Lucille an affectionate kiss on her shoulder. 

Valerie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The two settled into a comfortable silence. 

‘Oh, and Lou?’ Valerie asked. 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘Hermione couldn’t take naps. She's taking 2 or 3 classes every period, right? 8 periods per day, 5 per week, let's say 12 turns per day. Your week is 168 hours long, hers is now 228 hours long. That's ONLY doubling classes. In a 40 week school year, she's doing 54 weeks minimum. Add on a 4 hour nap every day and that's an additional 166 days and 16 hours. She'd be an 18 year old girl with a 21 year old body at graduation. So to Hermione, every turn she didn't take was precious.’ 

Valerie suddenly felt Lucille’s hand on her head, her fingers grasping a fistful of her hair, pulling her head up and forcing Valerie to look her in the eye.

Valerie could only squeeze her eyes shut tight and bite her lip, suppressing a laugh. 

‘You… you…’ she was shaking, her mouth gaping open with an incredulous look on her face. She looked as if she had been slapped, ‘You absolute _fucking_ liar!’ 

Valerie cracked, giggling, ‘Seeing the horror in your face made it so worth it,’ she shook with laughter. 

‘I can’t believe you!’ Lucille broke out into her own grin, untangling herself from Valerie to sit up and look down at the woman, ‘what else are you lying about!? I bet you’ve read through all of Lord of the Rings too!’ 

‘I haven’t, I swear!’ Valerie couldn’t help but giggle at Lucille’s mock outrage, and her hands tickling at her sides, ‘But, Lou, of course I’ve read all the Harry Potter books! I don’t think there’s an English child of this generation who hasn’t!’ 

‘I’m going to make you pay for lying to me,’ Lucille grinned mischievously as she narrowed her eyes.

‘Oh, god, no, what’s a more foul punishment than making me read Lord of the Rings the whole way through unwillingly?’ 

‘Torturing you to death with tickles, probably,’ she said grinning, her fingers running themselves over Valerie's sides, causing her to shriek with laughter and squirm wildly. 

‘Oh, god, no!’ Valerie laughed, ‘Alright, I’ll read the books! I’ll read the books! I promise!’ 

Lucille relented her tickling, but only to raise Valerie's vest slightly to blow a raspberry on her stomach. Valerie continued to squirm and laugh, Lucilled grip on her hips only tightening to try and hold her still. Lucilles hands raised Valeries vest even further up her torso, her ribcage exposed. Valerie bit her lip anticipating another raspberry, but a smiling Lucille brought her mouth down to place a kiss on her stomach. Valerie's giggling subsided slightly, her breathing slowing as she calmed down. Lucille placed another kiss on her stomach, then another on her ribcage. 

Valerie could feel her heartbeat quicken as she felt Lucille's hands venture higher, raising her vest just a bit more with them. Lucille's mouth found the underside of Valerie's left breast and tentatively kissed her there. Valerie let out a shaky breath, her head resting against the soft duvet and closing her eyes, too afraid to move, too afraid to say anything. She wanted Lucille to keep going, and she didn’t want to say or do anything that would frighten her, to make her think what she was doing was wrong. 

Valerie could hear Lucille swallow a lump in her throat as her hands finally pushed the vest over her breasts, exposing them to her. Valerie couldn’t help but arch her body into the woman above her. She wanted to be touched, to be kissed there. Valerie licked her lips and opened her eyes to see Lucille looking down at her breasts with dark eyes. 

Lucille closed her eyes, leaning down to press her lips to Valerie's right breast while she ran a shy hand over the other. Valerie closed her eyes again and let out a sigh, her body arching into Lucille once more as she felt her whole body suddenly come to life. Every nerve ending was on fire, the reaction almost instant as Lucille wrapped her lips around a pert nipple and pull on it gently. 

‘Yes,’ Valerie gasped softly, ‘Lou, yes.’ 

‘That feel good?’ she asked as she kissed her way across Valerie’s chest, bringing her mouth to wrap around the other nipple. 

Valerie laughed slightly. This felt heavenly and she had a sneaking suspicion that Lucille knew it, ‘Of course it does,’ she sighed, her own hand reaching down to guide Lucilled hand to fondle her left breast, ‘I love how you’re touching me. I always want you to touch me.’ 

Lucille let out a shy laugh as she explored Valerie's chest with her hands and mouth. 

Sensing that Lucille felt calm and wasn’t going to stop suddenly, Valerie closed her eyes again, sighing. She was able to relax into Lucille's sweet touches and kisses, her hands reaching down to lovingly run across her back, gently urging her to keep going. 

‘You’re beautiful,’ Lucille whispered after several moments had passed that Valerie had quite enjoyed. 

Valerie took a deep breath of air, finding it difficult to think coherently, ‘Thank you,’ she sighed, sitting up slightly to pull Lucille in for a kiss, ‘you’re beautiful, too. So beautiful,’ she whispered against Lucille's lips before kissing her sweetly. Valerie was relieved to see Lucille smiling as they broke apart. 

‘Do you… I can do this for you, too.’ Valerie said shyly. 

Lucille pulled away slightly, her hands roaming over Valerie’s breasts and torso pleasantly, causing Valerie to smile and sigh. Lucille bit her lip after gazing down at Valerie for several moments, her hands finding the hem of Valerie's vest and pulling it down to cover her again. 

‘No,’ she said, laying down to rest on top of Valerie. She nuzzled her head under Valerie's chin, their arms coming to wrap around each other and their legs entwining. 

‘This is enough,’ Lucille breathed, ‘This is enough for now…’ 

‘Alright,’ Valerie whispered as she gently kissed Lucille's forehead. 

Valerie held Lucille close to her, smelling the scent of cucumber shampoo and lavender. She could feel Lucille's breathing become heavier and heavier, the rhythmic tones accompanied with the chirping crickets outside their tent lured Valerie to sleep, her thoughts on how she was falling for the woman in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. Things are getting a little sexy up in here. 
> 
> More camping and getting to know everyone a little more next week. 
> 
> Just the one doodle this week. So many great scenes and I only have time for the one! So naturally I picked the sexy one. 
> 
> [Kissing in the tent](https://nowseehere.deviantart.com/art/Stargazers-Chapter-15-750894621?ga_submit_new=10%3A1529628462)


	16. Chapter 16 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucille and Valerie have an interesting morning, Valerie finds out more about Patsy's backstory, and we finally get a bit more insight on just how the heck Barbara and Trixie got together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to make consent and adhering to boundaries in this story a huge component in Lucille and Valerie's relationship. Something happens in this chapter that isn't particularly consensual, so I want to put a trigger warning/heads up out there for those who might be affected by it. It takes place within the first scene of the chapter. Please feel free to leave any comments or questions about it if you wish to discuss it, or send me a private message on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/samanthais) if you prefer to keep it off ao3. Thanks for reading.

Valerie breathed deep as she snoozed, the sounds of crickets gently filling the air of the calm summer night. 

‘Hey,’ came a voice. It was soft, and quiet. 

Valerie mumbled, feeling particularly dozy having been woken up from a rather deep sleep. 

‘Valerie…’ the voice said again in a sing-song voice. Valerie felt a gentle nudge on her shoulder. 

Valerie blinked open her eyes, her vision blurry, slowly focusing in on the figure hovering over her. 

‘Wha…?’ Valerie mumbled again. She rubbed her eyes and saw Lucille smiling down on her. It was dark, but Valerie felt as if she could see her features clear as day. Her dark hair fell loosely on her shoulders, her eyes bright and wide, a flicker of mischief in them. 

‘Come on sleepyhead,’ Lucille whispered. 

Lucille retreated from Valerie's view, and Valerie sat up, not feeling tired anymore. In fact, she felt positively giddy. Excited. 

She took a moment to look around. Their duvet was tangled around her legs, there were four walls around her. Not walls. Sheets? She looked over and Lucille pulled back a white flap. 

‘Come on!’ she said, giggling. She closed the flap and Valerie could hear her walking away. 

Valerie realized she was in a tent. They were camping? 

She disentangled herself from the duvet and crawled over to where Lucille had just been. She lifted the flap and looked out. It was night. The full moon illuminated the forest around them. Fireflies danced around and glowed softly against the tall grass. The air was warm, and still. Valerie stood from her spot in the tent and the grass felt cool against her bare feet. She looked around and realized they were alone. 

Alone? Weren't they here with their friends? She could have sworn they arrived with four other people the day before. They spent half a day driving here together, setting up their camp. Where were they? 

Lucille appeared in front of her, smiling, showing absolutely no signs of concern. 

‘I want to show you something,’ she said, turning. She looked back and hooked her finger, signaling for Valerie to follow. 

There was something about Lucille's voice that was… different. Valerie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it sounded… seductive. She was drawn to it. As if it was luring her, pulling her legs to move, step by step into the forest. She wanted it to. She didn’t resist. 

‘Where are we going?’ Valerie asked. 

Lucille turned around, walking backwards through the trees as she smiled. She looked so beautiful. Valerie always thought she looked beautiful when she smiled, but this time was different, somehow. Valerie didn’t know why but she certainly wasn’t going to complain about it. 

‘It’s a surprise,’ she said softly, the fireflies glowing like little orbs of light, swirling around her, illuminating that gorgeous smile. 

Lucille took her hand and they continued walking through the trees. Valerie looked up and around as they walked. She had never seen the forest look so beautiful before. Soft hues of blue lit the sky from the moonlight, the moss on the trunks of the trees glowing green. 

The two came to a clearing, circled by trees. The fireflies continued to softly glow around them in golden orbs, and Valerie looked up to see the moon and stars shining down. 

‘I absolutely love this place,’ Lucile said wistfully. 

‘Have you been here before?’ 

‘Only in my dreams,’ Lucille said, turning to Valerie, ‘I’m so happy to share it with you.’ 

‘It’s beautiful,’ Valerie said softly, ‘just like you.’

Lucille smiled again, blushing. Valerie looked at her peculiarly as her eyes seemed to change. They became brighter, turning from a dark brown to a golden amber. It was breathtaking. Valerie gazed back at her completely mesmerized. 

‘I mean it, Lucille, you look as beautiful as I’ve ever seen you,’ she said softly. 

Lucille giggled, taking Valerie’s hands in hers and kissing them gently. Her lips felt so soft on her fingers and Valerie longed to kiss them. 

‘You’re so sweet to me, Val,’ she said softly, closing her eyes and gently nuzzling her cheek on the palm of Valerie’s hand. 

Valerie was unable to take her eyes away from Lucille. She looked on as she watched something forming around the crown of her head, growing. Long green vines emerged from her hair and interwoven themselves around her. Little buds of violet, white, and pink grew from them. 

Valerie blinked, unable to believe what she was seeing. 

‘You mean so much to me,’ Lucille breathed, opening her eyes. They were positively glowing. She kissed along Valerie’s wrist, sighing, ‘You make me so happy.’ 

The little buds in her hair opened slightly as she said this. 

‘Lou…’ Valerie blinked again and licked her lips, ‘You’re… blooming.’ 

Lucille laughed and pulled Valerie into her arms. Valerie grasped at her hips while Lucilles arms wrapped around her shoulders. 

‘Yes, I know. Isn’t it wonderful?’ 

‘Yes,’ Valerie said, mystified, ‘I’ve never seen anything like it before.’ 

‘It’s because of you,’ she said, her eyes narrowing and her fingers trailing along the outline of Valerie’s lips, ‘I’ve never been with anyone quite like you before.’ 

‘Oh?’ Valerie said, her mouth opening, reveling the feeling of Lucille's fingers against her mouth. She closed her eyes and kissed the tips of her fingers. Her desire grew as she imagined kissing every inch of this womans body. 

‘Yes... ‘ Lucille trailed off, and Valerie opened her eyes again, staring into Lucille's amber ones. The flowers in her hair opening just a bit more, ‘Valerie, I think I’m falling in love with you.’ 

‘Oh, Lou,’ Valerie breathed, her heart pounding in her chest with delight, happiness. Her whole body felt light with affection. The butterflies in her stomach seemed to have escaped and were fluttering around them, swirling, drawing them closer and closer together. She reached up and gently cradled the back of Lucille's head in her hand, ‘I think I’m falling in love with you, too,’ she said softly.

Valerie watched as the flowers in Lucille's hair opened completely, the pedals opening wide and full. Lucille closed her eyes as she smiled, gently cupping Valerie's face in her hands and leaning in to press their lips together. 

Valerie closed her eyes and felt her feet leave the ground as she wrapped her arms around Lucille, holding her tight as they kissed. She felt so light, like they were floating, the feeling in her chest bursting, pulsing with love and it coursed throughout her body. Their mouths opened and tongues reached out to taste one other, teeth bit down on lips, breathing grew heavy and hands wandered. A cool breeze tickled Valerie's naked legs and arms, though her skin felt on fire. It felt like Lucille's hands were everywhere, the sensation sending shivers throughout her body. 

With Lucille securely in her arms, Valerie slowly fell back on what felt like a bed of soft grass and flower pedals. Lucille's body was on top of hers as they kissed, their legs intertwining, bodies pressing against one another. Their kissing grew deeper, more urgent. Lucille raked her fingers through Valeries hair while Valerie’s hands wandered over Lucille's hips and back. They pressed tight against one another, holding each other as close as they could. They needed more, wanted more. Lucille broke away for a moment to catch her breath, and Valerie opened her eyes to see Lucille gazing down at her lovingly, her eyes bright and flowers bursting. 

‘You are so beautiful,’ Valerie breathed. Lucille smiled and brought her lips back own to Valerie, tasting the skin on her neck, nibbling, teasing. 

‘I love you,’ she breathed between kisses. 

I love you, too,’ Valerie sighed. 

‘I want you.’ 

‘I’m yours.’ 

Valerie felt a strong thigh come between her legs and press delightfully against her, causing a whimper to escape from her lips. Her hands reached down and grasped Lucille by the bum, her own thigh coming up to press between Lucille's legs and the woman in her arms let out a moan. Lucille wrapped her arms tight around Valerie’s head, her breath hot against Valerie's neck as Valerie's own grasp on Lucille's body became more firm, guiding the woman to grind her body against hers. The two found a rhythm that kept them going, not wanting to slow down, not wanting to stop. The only thing Valerie cared about was bringing pleasure to the woman in her arms. The woman that wanted her. The woman that loved her. Valerie slowly opened her eyes to see Lucille above her, whimpering, moaning, grinding above her as more flowers bloomed around her, growing, blossoming. She was glowing as her chest heaved, brighter and brighter, her breathing heavy, and Valerie could only look on admiringly at the sight, her own desire growing. She was truly so beautiful and Valerie wanted nothing more than to bring her pleasure. Lucille leaned back down and pressed her mouth against Valerie’s neck, her lips opening to let out a soft cry as she tensed against Valerie's body. Valerie could feel Lucille pulse above her, her breathing ragged as she came. Valerie almost felt as if she would come too listening to the moans of the woman above her. 

Everything felt so good. So perfect. 

Valerie thought to herself that it was almost as if she were in…

A dream. 

A bite on her shoulder caused Valerie to gasp, her eyes bursting open to see the inside of a tent, the soft white glow of the morning light filtering through the mesh windows. 

She felt so incredibly turned on. There was a weight on top of her, pressing against her in all the right places, a soft whimpering in her ear. Valerie blinked several times as her fingers twitched, her hands running under the top and over the soft skin of the person currently on top of her. 

The memory of the day prior came flooding back to her in an instant. Lou. She was here with Lucille after leaving Poplar early on Friday and driving several hours to Wales in Delia’s car, Patsy driving with Doctor Girlfriend and meeting Barbara and Trixie at the site. She and Lou and the rest of them set up camp last night in their little enclosure, putting together their tents and grilling lunch, drinking and telling stories the rest of the evening around the campfire before they all headed off to sleep. 

And now it was morning. Saturday morning. Valerie had just woken up from the most intense sex dream she had ever had because… it wasn’t really a dream. She was here. With Lucille. Who had just grinded against her leg until she came on top of her and Valerie felt a flash of panic rip through her. 

‘Lou,’ Valerie whispered gently to the woman breathing heavily on top of her, ‘Lou… wake up.’ 

Lucille mumbled something intelligible as she raised her head, eyes still closed. Valerie watched as she took a deep breath, her nose wiggling as she slowly blinked her eyes open. 

‘Hmm? What…’ Lucille started, licking her lips and opening her eyes a little wider, ‘what happened?’ 

Valerie stayed completely still and silent as Lucille seemed to gather her bearings, looking around like Valerie did at the tent they were in, remembering where she was and how she got there. 

Lucile gasped, her eyes widening, suddenly realizing the position she was in. She scrambled off Valerie, awkwardly fumbling on top of her as both worked to untangle themselves from each other. The only noises were a mess of arms and legs patting frantically against sleeping bags and the duvet as they separated and sat up on opposite sides of the tent. 

Valerie looked at Lucille and Lucille looked anywhere but at Valerie. The two were breathing heavily, Lucille clutching at her shirt while Valerie racked her brain for anything to say. 

‘Lou…’ she started softly, searching for words to calm the woman across from her who was shaking like a scared rabbit, ‘Lou, please look at me.’ 

Lucille licked her lips, taking a deep breath before she was able to meet Valerie's eyes. 

‘Are you… Are you OK?’ Valerie asked tentatively. 

‘Did we just…?’ Lucille asked, looking to Valerie pleadingly. 

‘...Have sex?’ Valerie volunteered quietly. 

‘In our sleep?’ 

‘Uh… I think so. Yes.’ 

‘And did I just… you know.’ 

Valerie gave half a smirk, letting out an exasperated breath, ‘You’ll have to tell me. Certainly felt like you did.’ 

Lucile turned red, looking completely mortified. She suddenly lept for the front flap of the tent, pulling down the zipper and scurrying out into the early morning fog. 

‘No, Lou!’ Valerie pleaded after her, ‘Wait, Lou!’ She stuck her head out of the tent watching Lucille's retreating form head towards the public bathrooms up the trail, making the split decision not to follow her and give her some space, but it felt like the most difficult thing Valerie had ever had to do. She retreated back into the tent and zipped up the flap. She sat on her knees and balled her fists, pressing them into the ground hard as she said, ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit,’ over and over again. Her cursing grew louder and louder before she finally balled up the duvet and screamed into it, her frustration abiding only a little as a result. 

Valerie collapsed on her back, her arms and legs spread out as she looked at the apex of the tent, her mind going a mile a minute recounting the last five minutes and how that was going to play out for the rest of the weekend. She brought her hands over her face, her fingers eventually raking themselves through her hair in frustration. 

They had slept in the same bed so many times; why did their bodies decide to act on their own this time? Why couldn’t Valerie tell it wasn't just a dream? Why couldn’t she stop before it got too far? Lucile hadn’t said she was ready yet! She didn’t want things to happen this way! 

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Lucille's first time with a woman. Their first time together. 

It was supposed to be romantic and they were supposed to be _awake_.

Valerie shot up, clenching her shirt in a fit of panic. Did Lucille actually tell her she loved her? Did she actually tell her she wanted her? Or did she just dream she said those things? 

‘Oh, god,’ she whispered, wide eyed with a wave of anxiety washing over her. Lucille was never going to speak to her again. 

The sounds of an excitable puppy sniffing and huffing around her tent broke Valerie from her thoughts, her gaze turning towards the entrance. 

‘Val? Hey, Val, you up?’ Patsy called quietly. 

Valerie blinked back a tear and crawled over to the front of the tent, pulling down the zipper to find Patsy in her pyjamas, holding onto Doctor Girlfriend by the lead. 

‘Just got back from a walk with Doc, here. Was wondering if you’d like to try and get some fishing in this morning by the river?’

Valerie blinked, barely registering what Patsy had said. 

‘Fishing?’ she repeated. 

Patsy smirked and raised an eyebrow, ‘Or if you’d rather sleep in…?’ 

Valerie shook her head. Fishing. By the river. Away from here. This would give her a chance to get away from the camp and give Lucille some space. She didn’t even know what she wanted to say to her when she saw her next… if Lucille would even want to speak with her. Going fishing seemed like the perfect distraction for Valerie to disappear for a bit and collect her thoughts. Figure out what she was going to do. 

Valerie tried her best to put on a smile, ‘No, sorry. I’m still waking up. Fishing sounds grand.’ 

Patsy smiled, ‘Splendid! I’ll make some coffee and change. It’s a bit nippy out so I suggest a jumper,’ she replied casually as she made her way across their little horseshoe shaped campsite to her own tent she shared with Delia. 

Valerie looked over to the caravan where she knew Trixie and Barbara were sleeping, and then back up the trail to where Lucille had run off to. She prayed that everyone had been asleep while she and Lucille were… 

Valerie blushed at the thought and zipped up her tent, focusing on changing her clothes and getting out of there as quickly as possible.

* * *

The situation with Lucille still plagued Valerie’s mind as she sat on a blanket by the riverbank alongside Patsy. The two had wandered down with a fishing pole and a cooler full of snacks to hold them over until lunchtime as they spent the morning waiting for something to bite the line. 

Valerie nervously chewed on her fingernails, anxiety sitting heavy in the pit of her stomach that had her feeling unwell. She had wanted to give Lucille space but the more time that passed the more anxious she grew. There were so many uncertainties. She had so many questions. What if Lucille didn’t want space? What if she wanted to talk, now, and Valerie was nearly a mile away fishing? What if it looked like Valerie was avoiding her? What if she had told everyone what happened and she was packing up right now to hitchhike back to London? Valerie ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. No. No. She reassured herself. She wasn’t going to leave. She was going to have a chance to apologize and they were going to talk about it. Though at the moment any words on how to even begin discussing it escaped Valerie. She pleaded with herself to try and think of something to say when she saw Lucille face to face again. Even if it was just to beg for forgiveness. 

Valerie looked over to the redhead next to her munching on a piece of cheese on a slice of baguette with her coffee. Patsy didn’t seemed vexed with any concern whatsoever as she sat casually, staring out into the water. 

‘Penny for them, Dyer?’ 

Valerie was taken aback by the question, her expression softening unconsciously to keep herself from wearing her emotions too obviously. It seemed to be too late before Patsy took notice. 

‘You look as if something is troubling you. Or do you just always look like this first thing in the morning?’ 

Valerie blinked, willing herself to smirk a little, ‘Mount, you of all people should know what I look like first thing. We had night shift together for six months. I’m sure by 5:30 in the morning I looked ghastly.’ 

Patsy smiled, ‘Ah, quite. I was a little busy running around all shift to notice unfortunately. I can’t imagine I looked a picture either at the end of our 14 hour shifts or however long we were stuck there.’ 

‘I don’t know, Mount. You somehow always managed to look impeccable, actually. Your hair always tucked back and neat, not a loose strand to be seen, your uniform always buttoned up and pressed… I was starting to think you were a robot.’ 

‘I’m very much human,’ Patsy laughed, ‘I’m just a neat person, I suppose. Also always or to try and set a good example for the rest, you know.’ 

‘So I’ve heard,’ Valerie gave a knowing look in regards to Delia’s consternation about how the two took ages to get together because Patsy refused to break the rules. ‘You certainly seem much more relaxed now,’ she added. 

‘I’m on vacation,’ Patsy shrugged, leaning back and sipping her coffee. 

Valerie smiled genuinely this time, ‘No, I mean in general. Since we’ve run into each other again, I’ve noticed you’ve seemed to loosen up a bit. Initially I thought it was because you had been working with kids, but then I ran into Delia and it seems she’s the one making you feel more relaxed.’

Patsy smiled, ‘She has a lot to do with it, yes. She certainly makes me happy. Makes me laugh my arse off too, that’s for sure.’ 

‘Yeah she’s a silly one,’ Valerie agreed, thinking back to their drunken karaoke night. 

‘She’s always got a good joke up her sleeve. God, she told me one the other day, what was it,’ Patsy pinched the bridge of her nose in thought with a smile on her face, ‘Ok, so I’m probably going to butcher it, but… How do you… no wait, fuck,’ 

Patsy hadn’t even gotten to the joke and Valerie was already giggling at her struggling. 

‘What’s the hardest part about rollerblading?’ Patsy finally spat out. 

Valerie shrugged, ‘What?’ 

‘Telling your parents you’re gay.’ 

Valerie brought a hand to her mouth as she chuckled, more amused that her old Captain had just told her a silly joke than the contents of the joke itself. 

‘Alright, that’s pretty funny,’ Valerie conceded. 

‘What’s horrible is she will tell me these things in places were I can’t laugh. Makes it so much more funny.’

‘I can imagine. Do you have any jokes?’ Valerie asked. 

‘No, I’m terrible at them, but I did get Delia good one time. Told her that she’s so short that when she realized she way gay, instead of coming out of the closet, she came out of the cupboard.’

The two shared a laugh, Valerie imagining Delia getting quite upset at having her height poked fun at, but then again, she also seemed to be the one out of all of them to be able to take a joke at her expense. 

‘How about you,’ Patsy asked, ‘do you have a favorite you like to tell at parties or something?’ 

Valerie shrugged and picked at the grass in front of her, ‘Oh, nah. I’m horrible at thinking of them off the top of my head,’ she looked up in thought for a moment before laughing slightly, ‘though I did hear one once that’s stuck with me.’ 

‘Lay it on me,’ Patsy said, pouring herself another cup of coffee from the thermos. 

‘It’s stupid.’ 

‘They’re all stupid,’ Patsy said as she blew on her coffee and took a sip. 

Valerie shrugged, a smile appearing on her face, ‘It goes: your mum is so fat that after sex she smokes ham.’ 

Patsy choked on her coffee, wiping her mouth with the back of her wrist as she struggled to swallow her mouthful of coffee while laughing. 

‘Oh, god, that’s hilarious.’ 

‘Yeah, it’s my favorite. I actually first heard it from Shock…’ Valerie trailed off suddenly, her smile fading. 

‘Shock?’ Patsy asked. 

Valerie blinked, opening her mouth and closing it again, searching for words. 

‘Um, Shokrollahi. Sergeant Shokrollahi.’ 

‘Ah, that’s right, the chap who lost his eye back in December,’ Patsy sad casually as she reached into the cooler and pulled out a few grapes, ‘How is he doing? You keep in touch?’ 

Valerie watched Patsy pop the grapes into her mouth as she looked at her expectantly. She felt the color drain from her face as she looked out into the water, the moment she received the phone call from Malumay coming back to the forefront of her memory. 

‘Um… no. I didn’t. And it’ll probably one of the things that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.’ 

Patsy stopped eating, her tone serious as she sensed a shift in the tone of the conversation, ‘What’s happened?’ 

Valerie gave her a look that must have conveyed what she wanted to tell her but couldn’t say the words. Patsy slumped and gave a sigh. 

‘He didn’t,’ she said. 

Valerie nodded, ‘I got a call a few weeks ago from Malumay telling me what happened. He… couldn’t get a job. Couldn’t get an appointment at the VA. I’m sure he couldn’t get any medication, either. Couldn’t get custody of his daughter… he was having hallucinations… Mount, he just… lost all hope.’

‘Jesus, Dyer… Fuck,’ she swore, shaking her head with disbelief. Her eyes closed and her eyebrows furrowed. Valerie watched as what looked like a wave of disgust and anger washed over her, similar to how she felt when she first heard the news. Disgust at the inefficiently of the system they were all embroiled in as veterans, despite their difference in nationalities.

‘I’m sorry,’ Patsy finally said, ‘I know you two had grown close…’ she trailed off, seeming unsure of what to say. 

Valerie raked her hands through her hair, ‘It’s alright. I mean… I’ll always feel terrible about it. Like I should have at least called him,’ Valerie picked at her fingernails nervously, ‘If anything it’s made me want to be a better friend to those I still have in my life. To appreciate those around me more.’

Patsy smiled sadly, looking down at the cup on her hands, ‘Yes, I certainly know how that feels.’ 

Valerie looked over at her. Patsys eyes were sad, focused on the river but her mind seemed to be a million miles away. Valerie wondered if she had lost a friend in a similar way. Or a family member. 

‘Sorry, I wanted to tell you sooner, it’s just… the moment never seemed right. Still doesn’t.’ 

‘Don’t worry about it, Dyer. There’s never a right time to talk about something like this. I’m glad you told me though. Here,’ she said, handing Valerie an empty cup and pouring coffee into it. She put the thermos down and clinked her cup to Valerie’s, ‘To Shok. A good man.’

Valerie raised her cup and took a sip, looking back down at it sadly as she thought back on the phone call she took from Malumay. The phone call that led her to drink herself under the table that day. 

‘You know what’s funny?’ she started, looking up at Patsy, ‘That phone call from Malumay was one of the hardest I have ever had to take, but it set off a series of events that actually made my life better.’ 

‘That so?’ 

‘Yeah. It…,’ Valerie instantly thought of Lucille, the first night they had spent together when she refused to leave her side, ‘It actually brought Lucille and I closer together and… it led me to show up to your office with Trixie with all those injuries on my face. If that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be working at the clinic now. Wouldn't be enrolled in school. Wouldn’t be here camping with you. Would probably still be miserable pulling pints at the pub and wondering what went wrong with my life.’ 

‘Funny how things work out like that.’ 

Valerie sat cross legged, her elbow on her knee as she rested her chin in her hand, ‘Stranger than fiction.’ 

Patsy hummed affirmative as she reached in the cooler and pulled out an orange. 

‘Here,’ she tossed it to Valerie, ‘eat something before I eat it all, will you?’ 

Valerie smirked and dug her nail into the rind, peeling it away to reveal a juicy orange. 

The fishing line next to them snagged something and pulled taught, causing Patsy to jump from her seat and grab it. Valerie watched on as she hastily reeled in whatever was on the hook. After several tense moments she pulled out a hook with a clump of mud and grass that has been snatched as it floated down the river. 

‘Bugger,’ Patsy swore, tearing off the grass from the hook, ‘nothing but rubbish.’ 

Patsy baited the hook again and cast out the line, placing the reel back on its perch. She sat back down next to Valerie and grabbed herself another slice of bread with cheese. 

‘You ever been fishing before, Dyer?’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Can’t say I have. Never been camping, either.’ 

‘Really? What did your family do for holidays growing up?’ 

‘Nothing really. Could barely afford it when I was younger. We holidayed Blackpool, if mum could get a long weekend off from working at the pub, but that maybe only happened three or four times. At the time I didn’t really care. I was a kid and was just happy being with my mum in the garden running through the sprinkler.’ 

Patsy smiled at the thought, ‘My father always insisted on camping every year. He was an investment banker and wore a suit every day. Said he needed just the one week a year to be in nature and not have a phone to his ear or a screen in front of his face,’ Patsy sighed, ‘I can see the appeal now, but at the time my sister and I hated it. Thought it was so boring, just hiking in the woods, laying around reading or playing games,’ she raked her fingers through her hair and sighed nostalgically, ‘now sometimes I think what I wouldn’t give to have those days back again.’ 

Valerie blinked, ‘I didn’t know you had a sister.’ 

Patsy didn’t meet Valerie’s gaze, but nodded, ‘Yeah. Only two years younger than me, but she’ll always be a ten year old kid in my mind.’ 

Patsy cleared her throat and swirled her coffee in her cup. 

‘You father work in the family pub as well?’ she asked. 

‘Nah. Never knew the bloke,’ Valerie shrugged, indifferent. 

‘Oh… sorry, I didn’t mean to…’ Patsy trailed off. 

‘Oh, it’s alright. Figured he was just some random passing through that my mum had a bit of fun with one night. She never mentions him, I’ve never asked. Don’t really care to.’ 

Patsy nodded, ‘I see.’ 

‘Don’t get me wrong. I know I certainly wasn’t planned, but my mum never made me feel unwanted or unloved. She worked hard to give me a good childhood. Always has lots of food in the house and presents under the tree at Christmas and the like. Also had my aunts around to help out, so I got a lot of attention.’ 

‘Raised by a brood of women, eh? No wonder you’re so good with them,’ Patsy winked, smiling. 

Valerie couldn’t help but laugh, her hand coming up to smack her forehead, ‘Mate, I have no fucking idea what you’re talking bout. I’m terrible with women.’ 

‘Oh, come off it. You’ve managed to snag a gem like Lucille, haven’t you? I can see you two lasting for a long time. You’re meant to be, from what I’ve seen.’ 

Valerie let out a defeated sigh, a pang of anxiety hitting her heart as she was reminded, again, of what happened earlier that morning and the impending conversation they needed to have about it. If Lucille even wanted to speak to her. 

‘You know Dyer, I think I’ve learned more about you in the past hour than I ever have in the… what, 13 months we’ve known each other?’ 

‘Likewise,’ Valerie replied. 

Patsy sighed, ‘Sorry. I hope you don’t think me impersonal or anything. I’m just kind of horrible at making friends.’ 

‘It’s alright. I mean, you seem like you need to trust someone before you share anything with them, and that takes time. I get it,’ Valerie sat up straight, a thought occurring to her, ‘Wait a moment. Is this… is this how adults make friends? Are we doing it right now?’ 

‘Sitting in the middle of a Welsh forest with no one but each other to talk with? I suppose that’s one way it happens, yes.’ 

‘We’re friends now?’ 

‘Do you need for us to sign a contract in blood for it to be official?’ Patsy joked. 

‘No, just checking.’ 

Valerie’s stomach let out a loud grumble just then, causing both woman to look down at it. 

‘Will you catch something already? I’m starving here.’ 

‘Dyer, I told you on the way over here I support catch and release,’ Patsy said, picking up her phone and checking the time, ‘Blimey, it’s almost 11. No wonder the fish aren’t biting, we probably hiked out here too late.’ 

‘Wasn’t a total waste. I mean, that was a rather attractive patch of grass you caught earlier.’ 

‘My father would be proud, I’m sure,’ Patsy said, standing and stretching slightly, ‘let’s head back then. If we leave now we’ll be there in time for lunch.’

The two packed up their things and began walking towards the trees.

‘Now that we’re friends,’ Valerie began from her position behind Patsy, ‘I don’t suppose you’ll start calling me by my first name now?’ 

Patsy scoffed, ‘Hell no,’ as she started walking up the path, the trees providing a cool shade for them to walk through, ‘though you never know. These are magic woods. Anything is possible.’

Valerie’s eyebrows shot up, ‘Magic woods?’ 

Patsy looked back at her with smirk and a mischievous glint in her eye, ‘Haven’t you heard? There’s faeries in these woods. Notorious for luring people into the forest with their beauty and playing tricks on them. Who knows, they could very well convince me to be nice to you.’ 

Valerie blinked, looking up at the trees suspiciously. She gulped down a huge lump in her throat as the image of flowers blooming from Lucille’s hair came back to her quite vividly. 

‘That would certainly explain a lot,’ she mumbled, and followed Patsy up the path.

* * *

Upon returning to camp, Patsy placed the fishing rod and tackle box next to the caravan. Valerie looked around and saw Barbara and Trixie cuddling with each other in the hammock they had set up the day before next to the picnic table. Trixie was snoozing in Barbara’s arms while Barbara read a familiar looking copy of Wuthering Heights that Valerie knew for certain wasn’t actually Wuthering Heights, but another book of smut masked to look like the classic novel. The barbecue next to the campfire was lit and coals were burning, but the tents and outdoor chairs around the campfire remained empty of the two other women who were supposed to be there with them. 

Patsy approached the women in the hammock, looking around, ‘Where are the other two?’ 

Barbara continued reading while Trixie sighed, snuggling in closer to Barbara.

‘Lucille is in the caravan getting lunch ready. Delia went for a walk with the dog,’ Trixie said tiredly. 

‘She went out there by herself?’ Patsy asked, her tone laden with concern. 

‘Yes.’

‘How long ago?’ 

Barbara put down her book, ‘It’s been awhile, I think,’ she sad, looking to Trixie who finally opened her eyes, ‘what time did we wake up?’ 

‘’Round 8:30, I think. She left a little after that.’ 

Patsy looked around suddenly, panicked, ‘Shit,’ she said. She started to pace, her attention turning back to the two in the hammock, ‘you're telling me she’s been out there by herself for nearly three hours?’ 

Trixie and Barbara both blinked, the gravity of the situation seemingly hitting them at the same time, ‘Sorry, we haven’t really been keeping track of the time,’ Barbara said meekly. 

‘Shit…’ Patsy said again, bringing her fist to her mouth as she paced more, thinking, ‘she doesn’t… she’s no good in unfamiliar areas. She’s probably lost if she’s been gone this long.’ 

‘What can we do?’ Trixie asked, sitting up. Barbara followed suit. 

‘Do you know if she had her phone?’ Valerie asked the two in the hammock. 

‘We can try, but I doubt she has signal.’ Patsy said. 

‘What’s the matter?’ 

All eyes turned to the caravan at the sound of Lucille’s voice. She was exiting the structure carrying a tray of chicken and vegetables, presumably for the grill. She and Valerie locked eyes for only a moment before the two blushed and looked away. Valerie felt somewhat relieved that Lucille was still here, but her anxiety still flared up again at the sight of her. 

‘Delia’s been gone for awhile with the dog, apparently,’ Trixie said.

‘We think she might be lost,’ said Patsy. 

‘Oh, dear,’ Lucille said, placing the tray of food down on the table. 

Patsy swung around to face Valerie, ‘Dyer, I need your help.’ 

‘Sure, anything,’ Valerie said, watching Patsy go into the familiar leadership mode. 

‘We’ve just come from the west and didn’t see her. I say you go south and I’ll go north and we can circle east and regroup back here.’ 

‘What can we do?’ Barbara asked. 

‘Stay here in case she comes back or calls, alright?’ Patsy ordered before grabbing her phone and taking off up the trail in a sprint. 

‘Wait!’ Lucille shouted to deaf ears, ‘Oh, damn,’ she swore and went back into the caravan. Valerie looked after her curiously. She came back out with a thermos and trotted over to Valerie.

‘Take this with you. Some water for you. And her, if you find her…’ she trailed off, handing over the thermos over to Valerie who took it with a heavy heart. 

Lucille met Valerie’s eyes and must have sensed her strife, because she placed a hand over Valerie’s heart and leaned in to kiss her lightly on the lips. 

‘I’m sorry I ran away,’ she whispered, her expression remorseful. 

Valerie’s heart leapt in her throat, and she placed her hand over Lucille’s, ‘It’s alright,’ she whispered back, ‘I don’t… I’m… I’m sorry, too…’ she stuttered, feeling on the verge of tears from relief. The kiss. The look in her eyes. The way she was touching her right now. Everything happening was the validation Valerie needed to know that everything was going to be alright between them. 

‘It’s alright.’ 

‘Can we… talk?’ 

‘Yes. Yes, later. I promise. Go find Delia, now.’ 

Valerie nodded and took a step back, hesitating. 

‘Go,’ Lucille gently urged, and Valerie took a deep breath, turning, and running off down the trail with the thermos in her hand.

* * *

Valerie ran. She followed the trails for some time before she stopped every few moments, taking in a deep breath of air and calling out Delia’s name as loud as she could. She would listen for several moments, listening to the trees, and when no reply came, she moved on. She kept running, her face and exposed legs getting nicked and whacked with low hanging branches, leaves, and vines. Her chest and legs were on fire, sweat was running down her forehead and into her eyes, collecting on her chest and seeping through her jumper. She kept going, not only out of worry for Delia and the dog, but also finding the exercise cathartic, like the release she needed to clear her head and get her mind off her morning. A clear task that kept her mind and body occupied. 

She stopped again and looked around, calling Delia’s name. She listened to the trees. There was no answer. 

She kept going, running as fast as she could along the trail, never coming across another person. 

Valerie saw a bright light at the end of the dirt trail. A clearing. She exploded out of it, leaves and twigs flying in her wake, and she was suddenly at the side of the river again. Valerie slowed to a walk and took in her surroundings, catching her breath. 

This was a different spot from where she and Patsy had been fishing earlier. The river flowed south east. She must have come to the most southern part of it from the edge of the park. Valerie ran to the riverbank and looked down and up again, her hand coming to rest over her eyes to block out the sun. The water flowed heavier here than from were the had been this morning, flowing over large rocks and boulders. Surely Delia wouldn’t have gone _into_ the water at all, right? 

Valerie looked around wildly back at the trees from where she came. She hadn’t come across another living soul on the way here. Her only option was to do what Patsy said and circle east. Before she did, she took another deep breath of air and called out Delia’s name, her eyes closing as she shouted with all her might. 

Valerie listened, and still there was no answer. 

She used her sleeve to wipe the sweat from her brow and raked a hand through her hair before she started running in the opposite direction of the water, up east until she found another clearing through the trees, exposing a path that she knew would lead her back to camp. She ran through the clearing and was surrounded by trees and shade again. She looked around as she ran for any sign of human life. There was nothing. 

As she crested over a hill, Valerie took the time to stop once more. Her heart was pounding, anxiety rising in her with each passing moment that went by where she saw no one and no one called back. She took a deep breath once more and called out Delia’s name as loud as she could. 

She breathed. She waited. She listened. 

‘Val?’

Valerie’s eyes snapped open, her head whipping around to see a timid looking Delia and a happy Doctor Girlfriend sitting by the side of the trail. 

Valerie ran the short distance over to them, kneeling down to where Delia was sitting and took an excited Doctor Girlfriend into her arms, scratching the pup behind the ears as she looked at Delia, waves of relief washing over her.

‘Delia, thank god, are you alright?’ Valerie asked, her eyes scanning over Delia body looking for any sign of injury. 

‘No. I mean, yes, I’m alright. So is Doctor Girlfriend. I just…’ 

‘You got lost.’ 

‘...yeah,’ Delia said shyly. 

‘It’s alright. It happens. Honestly I’m just glad you’re not hurt!’ Valerie said with a smile, hoping to reassure Delia that she shouldn’t be upset with herself. 

Delia simply nodded, her eyebrows furrowing as she brought her knees to her chest, hugging them close to her. 

‘Here,’ Valerie said, remembering she had the thermos with her. She poured a bit into the cup for Doctor Girlfriend to drink from and handed the thermos to Delia to drink straight from. 

‘Thanks,’ she said, taking a few sips and handing it back to Valerie, who gulped some water down. She didn’t realize how thirsty she was until the cold water hit her lips. 

‘I’m sorry,’ Delia said, raking her fingers through her hair, ‘I usually… I’m usually alright when I stick to a regular schedule. And… and I took the paths that Patsy and I walked yesterday, I just… I don’t know what happened. I must have made a wrong turn somewhere. I thought I was on the path back to camp and I just got turned around…’ 

‘Delia, it’s alright, really,’ Valerie said, her hands reaching out to rest on Delia’s arm comfortingly. 

‘I just, I started seeing spots, Val. Like, bright little flashes of white light in my eyes and I just… I had to sit down and rest. Close my eyes until they passed. I’m sorry,’ she said again, ducking her head into her knee shyly, as if ashamed. 

Valerie listened on, uncertain of what to say.

‘It happens sometimes,’ Delia continued, ‘Since the accident. I get ocular migraines, and I was worried I might be getting one, but thankfully it went away, I just. They make me tired sometimes, you know?’ 

‘Yeah, yeah, I know,’ Valerie gave a sympathetic smile, ‘you’re alright Delia. It’s probably good you stopped and stayed in one spot like you did. It would have been harder for us to find you if you kept wondering about.’ 

Delia nodded, her eyes suddenly watery as her lip quivered. She hugged her knees closer and sniffed. 

‘Patsy’s going to be mad at me,’ she whimpered, giving into the urge to cry and letting the tears flow and soak the sleeves of her jumper. ‘She said I shouldn’t go off alone but I thought I could do it,’ Delia sniffed ‘I should have listened. I thought I could…’ she trailed off, taking a deep breath, attempting to calm herself, ‘I used to go round other countries backpacking by myself,’ she continued, wiping her tears away angrily, ‘now I can’t… I can’t even… since the accident…’ she trailed off again, raking her fingers through her hair and looking away, ashamed. 

Valerie didn’t know what to do. Her heart sank in her chest as it started to reside with her just how much the accident affected Delia’s memory. Her sense of independence must have been tattered. It must have been really difficult for her to accept that she probably wouldn’t be able to look after herself for the rest of her life. Not in the way she used to, anyway. 

Valerie scooted over to sit next to Delia, reaching out to wrap the Welsh woman in her arms, hoping to calm her down. 

‘Delia, there’s no shame in needing help sometimes,’ she said softly, ‘and I promise you, Patsy won’t be mad. She loves you and is worried sick about you, is all. We were all worried and I’m happy I found you safe and sound.’ 

Valerie smiled, using her slave to wipe away a fat tear that rolled down Delia’s cheek, ‘Chin up. No need for that now. You should save them anyway for the jerk chicken Lucille is making everyone for lunch today. That’ll really get you crying!’ 

Delia laughed and wiped the rest of her tears with her own sleeves. She sniffed, composing herself and nodded, ‘Alright. I’m sorry to make everyone worried.’ 

‘It’s alright,’ Valerie said standing. She extended her hand to help Delia up, who took it, ‘if anything no one should be going off by themselves out here.’ 

‘You did to come find me,’ Delia playfully challenged. 

‘Yes, well, I’m not by myself anymore, am I?’ Valerie smiled and took the lead attached to Doctor Girlfriend from Delia, ‘Come on, I think you were on the right track back to camp,’ she nodded in the direction she had been heading earlier, ‘this way goes northwest, which is where we want to go.’ 

Delia nodded and began walking. Valerie took her phone out of her pocket and sent two quick text messages, holding her phone up in the air in an attempt to access any kind of signal. 

**Val**  
_I have her. Everyone is safe._  
_Heading back now._  


* * *

As Valerie and Delia approached camp, they looked up to the sound of feet hitting the ground, and saw Patsy running towards them. She was covered in her own sheen of sweat, breathless, the loose ends of her hair sticking to her forehead and neck. She slowed to a jog as she looked over Delia with an expression of relief and concern. 

Wordlessly, Patsy pulled Delia into her arms, burying her head in the crook of the smaller womans neck. In response, Delia wrapped her arms around Patsy and held her tight. 

‘You’re the only person in the world I’ve got,’ Valerie overheard Patsy whisper to Delia, ‘I almost lost you once… please don’t scare me like that again.’ 

Valerie looked away shyly, thinking that this was something she probably shouldn’t be seeing or overhearing. Though, Valerie thought, what did she mean by only person in the world? Valerie reached down and scratched Doctor Girlfriend behind the ears and tried to look like she wasn’t paying much attention. 

‘I know, cariad, I’m sorry,’ Delia said. She pulled away and wiped a tear from her eye, clearing her throat, ‘I won’t go off on my own like that again, I promise.’ 

Patsy took a moment to look over Delia, running her fingers through Delia’s brunette hair and cupping her face in her hand, ‘You’re alright though? You’re not hurt?’ 

Delia placed her hand over Patsy’s, shaking her head, ‘No, I’m alright.’ 

Behind Patsy, Valerie could see the other women in their group curiously peer over the crest of the hill and down the path where they were currently standing. Barbara and Trixie looked on with relief in their expressions as they saw that Delia had returned unscathed. Valerie’s heart jumped in her throat when she looked to Lucille to find her looking right back at her, a small smile playing on her lips. Lucille looked happy to see her, and the sight of her looking back at her so lovingly made Valerie feel calm. 

‘Alright, Dyer?’ 

Patsy’s question brought Valerie back from her thoughts, her eyes locking on her old officer to show she was paying attention. 

‘Yeah,’ she said, giving a tight lipped smile and a reassuring nod. 

Patsy walked over towards Valerie and silently took the lead from her hands, holding onto the dog while she shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, seeming to search for words. 

‘Thank you for bringing her back,’ she finally said, looking Valerie in the eye with a small smile, ‘Really, Dyer, I appreciate your help.’ 

Valerie shrugged, ‘’s alright, Mount. What are friends for?’ 

Patsy smiled knowingly and nodded shyly. 

She turned with Doctor Girlfriend in one hand and reached for Delia with her other, ‘Come on then,’ she said, slowly pulling Delia towards their campsite, ‘you must be starving. We’ve got some lunch on the grill now, just about ready.’

Valerie stood there and watched the three walk back up the hill towards their friends, Barbara and Trixie following after them with their words of relief and encouragement. As the lot of them disappeared over the hill and back to the campsite, Lucille remained standing there silently, watching Valerie. 

Valerie remained still under her gaze, and she wondered for a moment just what she must have looked like having been running around all morning through the trees, sweating, getting nicked and cut from lose branches and vines. She ran her fingers through her hair, suddenly becoming self conscious of her appearance as she watched Lucille make her way towards her. 

Any worry she may have had over how she looked left her conscience just then given the way Lucille was looking at her as she approached. Without saying a word, Lucille threw her arms open and wrapped them around Valerie’s shoulders, pulling her in tight. Valerie rocked back from the impact but steadied herself, her own arms coming to wrap around Lucille's waist. She closed her eyes, her heart pounding as she took in the feeling of Lucille pressed against her, holding her, the smell of lavender filling her senses. 

‘I missed you,’ she whispered, catching Valerie off guard. She wasn’t prepared to feel overwhelmed by so much sweetness after such an active morning. 

‘How are you feeling?’ Valerie asked softly into Lucille's ear. 

Lucille took a deep breath, her grip on Valerie tightening as she nuzzled her head into the crook of Valerie’s shoulder, ‘I’m happy you’re alright. How are you feeling?’ 

Valerie pulled away slightly, shyly looking down at her shoes, unable to meet Luciles eyes, ‘I’m… I’m rather upset, honestly. About this morning.’ 

Lucille looked as if she was about to say something, but Valerie cut her off. 

‘Don’t get me wrong… I’m not upset with _you_. I’m not upset with you running away after…’ 

Valerie stopped talking as Lucille grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers. She brought Valerie’s hand to her mouth and gently kissed her knuckles. 

‘I shouldn’t have done that… I was,’ she sighed, finding her words, ‘I was really embarrassed, I guess? We just had this really intimate moment, in our sleep of all the things, and I… it was just… weird!’ Lucille smiled shyly, ‘Nice… but weird.’ 

Valerie cracked a nervous smile, relieved that the worst case scenario she imagined of Lucille leaving her over this was not going to come to fruition. 

‘Why are you upset?’ Lucille asked, her head tilting inquiringly. She brought her hand up and ran her fingers gently though Valerie’s hair. 

‘I suppose…,’ Valerie began, feeling her heartbeat quicken as she searched for the right words, ‘it’s because we hadn’t done anything like that before and… I know we had talked about waiting until you were ready and… um, it just kind of happened so I was worried that you… that you would think I…’ Valerie trailed off nervously, unable to meet Lucille's eyes. 

‘Was it because I hadn’t said I was ready yet?’ 

Valerie bit her lip, her brows furrowing as she nodded, tentatively looking back at Lucille. 

Lucile sighed, a small smile on her lips, ‘Oh, sweetie,’ she said, running her fingers through Valerie's hair once more as she cupped her face in her hand, ‘you did absolutely nothing wrong.’ 

Valerie sighed, closing her eyes as she leaned in to Lucille's touch. It was the comfort she needed in that moment. 

‘I still don’t think I’m quite there… yet. To do… everything,’ Lucille said shyly. Valerie watched a blush feather across her cheeks as she said this, ‘I think though…’ Lucille continued, blushing much harder now, ‘I’m kind of glad it happened.’ 

‘You are?’ Valerie asked, surprised. 

Lucille nodded, ‘I think… my body just acting on its own, with me not being in my head so much, being shy, doubting myself… overthinking everything…I think it allowed me to… you know,’ she shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, ‘to just let go.’ 

Valerie couldn’t help but bite her lip to suppress a giggle. 

‘Yeah, I know,’ Valerie said with a wink, ‘it was hot.’ 

‘Shh,’ Lucille said smiling and shyly tucked her head into Valerie's shoulder. 

The two giggled, and Valerie felt relieved. All the anxiety and tension she was holding onto the entire morning evaporated in an instant, and she was happy. She tenderly ran her fingers through Lucille's curly locks and kissed her temple sweetly. The two held each other for several moments before Lucile looked up. 

‘Val,’ she said, her expression serious as she searched Valerie's eyes. 

‘Hmm?’

‘Did you... tell me you loved me?’ she asked, licking her lips slightly, her eyes growing heavy as she looked at Valerie's lips, then back to her eyes, ‘Or did I just dream you said it?’ 

Valerie looked back at Lucille, her own eyes growing heavy as she stared back at those cute freckles across Lucille's cheeks, her eyes falling to her lips, and Valerie felt herself drawn to them. 

‘I dreamt you said it, too,’ she said softly. 

Lucilles lips twitched, the corners of her mouth pulling into a small smile. 

‘I don’t know if I said it out loud or not…’ Lucille said, ‘but I remember… how it felt.’ 

‘How did it feel?’ Valerie asked softly, her fingers unconsciously stroking the skin on the back of Lucille’s arms. 

Lucille shyly played with the hem of Valerie’s jumper as she licked her lips, ‘It felt like… it felt like it had been something… a feeling I’ve had for you for quite some time that had built up and up inside of me until it felt like it was going to burst out of me.‘

‘...like a flower blooming,’ Valerie said, the vivid imagery of her dream coming back to her. 

Lucille nodded, smiling slightly, ‘Yes… yes. Like a flower blooming.’ 

‘I remember, too,’ Valerie said, ‘how it felt… for me,’ Valerie took a breath as she read Lucille's expression. Everything about it was telling her to continue on, ‘It felt… right. True. As if it was the most natural thing in the world…’ Valerie trailed off, finding it hard to think coherently with Lucille's fingers running through her hair. 

‘And now?’ Lucile asked quietly, her eyes searching Valerie’s features. 

Valerie blinked, taking a large breath as she stared back into Lucille's beautiful brown eyes. Without even knowing it, this had become a moment she had been waiting for her whole life. 

She brought her finger to hook under Lucille's chin, tilting her head gently so she looked up at her, ‘Just to… clear up any misconceptions... ,’ she said slowly, her hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind Lucille's ear, ‘I just wanted to tell you, here, in the real world… that I’m very much in love with you.’ 

Lucille exhaled, seemingly letting go of the breath she had been holding. Valerie could feel Lucille’s hands slide around her waist and pull her in tight. 

‘I was hoping you would say that,’ she said, her voice lowering to a whisper, ‘because I am very much in love with you too.’ 

Just like in her dream, Valerie felt like there were forces beyond her control pulling her towards Lucille, those soft lips alluring, calling to her to press against them with her own. Her heart felt like it was swelling, filling and bursting out of her with love and adoration for the woman in her arms as they kissed. Never in her life had she felt happier, never in her life had anything felt so right. 

Several moments passed before they pulled away. Eyes still closed, their lips sought contact with skin. Valerie’s mouth gently traced along Lucille’s jawline, kissing her temple, her eyebrow, the bridge of her nose. Valerie could feel Lucille’s hands softly run down her sides and underneath her jumper, her fingers running over the soft skin of her back, causing Valerie to sigh and press her body into her. Lucille’s own mouth pressed lightly against Valerie’s neck and under her ear. 

Their mouths came together once more, their kissing soft, growing deeper. Lucille slowly walked Valerie backwards until she was leaning against a tree, their bodies pressing together tight as their mouths opened and tongues pressed gently against one another. Lucille’s hands continued to wander under Valerie’s jumper as Valerie’s hand lovingly cupped Lucille’s face, her mouth opening to capture and gently pull on Lucille’s bottom lip, causing Lucille to sigh. 

‘God, I love how you kiss me,’ she said, before repeating the same motion to Valerie, licking the underside of Valerie’s top lip before tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth. 

Valerie let out a groan, the odd urge to just consume this woman overwhelmed her. She needed to touch her, kiss her, press her body against her. She needed as much contact as possible. She wanted her mouth on Lucille, anywhere, everywhere. She wanted to lose herself. Valerie did her damndest to convey all these feelings through these deep and loving kisses. She could feel Lucille’s body reacting, pulling her in, her kisses hungry and urgent, hands wandering. She wanted Valerie like Valerie wanted her and Valerie wanted nothing more than to give in to her desires in that moment. 

‘Oi!’

Both Valerie and Lucille jumped apart, eyes wide and the hair on the back of their necks rising like a pair of startled cats. 

The two women whipped their heads towards the top of the hill in the direction of their camp. The blonde head of Trixie appeared over the crest of the trail and she looked down at them. 

‘Everything alright?’ 

Valerie let out a sigh of relief, as it was made apparent Trixie had not seen them kissing. 

‘Yeah,’ Valerie called up to her feebly, ‘Just having a chat,’ she lied, hoping Trixie couldn’t see her blushing. 

‘Oh, sorry to interrupt! Just wanted to let you know lunch was ready!’ Trixie called to them before disappearing back towards camp. 

Valerie and Lucille shared a look, laughing slightly as they shared a sigh of relief. 

‘I suppose we should get back then,’ Valerie said, taking Lucille by the hand. 

Lucille shyly tucked her hair behind her ear, blushing slightly as she smiled, ‘I don’t know what’s come over me,’ she said as they began walking, ‘I feel like I’ve only wanted to touch you more than I already do since we’ve been here…’ 

‘Yeah, me too,’ Valerie said, looking up at the trees.

* * *

The later part of the afternoon on the unseasonably chilly August day was spent around the campfire. Barbara and Lucille swapped books and read all afternoon curled up in blankets with a hot tea. Trixie painted her nails while Patsy and Delia kicked around a football with Doctor Girlfriend running between the two of them. Valerie treated herself to a nice long shower after running around all morning, returning to their campsite to cuddle up next to Lucille. 

Valerie tucked her feet on the chair under her bum and rested her head on Lucille’s shoulder, smiling as she felt Lucille extend her blanket over her and kiss her sweetly on top of her head. Smiling, Valerie nuzzled her head into Lucille’s shoulder, breathing her scent in deeply, her eyes watching the fire flicker and crack. The warmth of Lucille under the blanket and the subtle rustling of the leaves blowing in the wind eventually lured Valerie to doze off. 

Valerie didn’t know how long she had been snoozing for, but it didn’t seem like much time had passed before she felt a chill in the air and the smallest droplets of rain on her nose. 

‘Oh, no,’ Barbara said, holding out her hand as she looked up towards the canopy of trees, ‘I think a storm is about to roll through.’ 

‘Oh bugger,’ Trixie said, rising from her seat, ‘my nails just dried, too!’

A gust of wind rolled trough and knocked over the chair she had been sitting in.

‘I think we ought to try and get everything tied down,’ Barbara said standing up. 

Valerie and Lucille rose from their seats and started collecting the chairs around the fire, bringing them to the caravan and tucking them in a little storage cubby underneath. Lucille made her way back and collected all the blankets that were lying about before they got too wet. 

Patsy and Delia returned with the dog as the wind picked up, and began helping Trixie collect any loose items around the campsite they didn’t want blowing away. Valerie rushed over to put out the fire with the reserved bucket of water they kept close by. The rain started beating down on them heavily and everyone rushed to get inside the caravan before they got too wet. 

There was an organized chaos of everyone settling into the cramped quarters, the caravan rocking from side to side while the six women and Doctor Girlfriend milled about, shuffling into a space. Valerie and Lucille sat on the bench while Patsy found a chair, pulling Delia into her lap. Trixie made her way back to sit on the little bed and Barbara stood by the kitchenette, handing out little flannels for everyone to dry off with. 

‘Got to love an English summer,’ Patsy said, wiping her forehead and neck with the flannel. 

‘I thought we were in Wales?’ Lucille asked softly, turning to Valerie. 

‘We are,’ Delia said, crossing her arms, ‘though there are some who forget it’s a completely different country from England,’ she said, eyeing Patsy with an air of annoyance. 

Patsy looked guilty, biting her lip, ‘Sorry. A Welsh summer then.’ 

The four women in the caravan chatted around Lucille and Valerie, who for a moment were in their own little world as Lucille held Valerie by the chin with her thumb and forefinger as she gently dried off her forehead and cheeks with the flannel. Valerie smiled and closed her eyes as Lucille sweetly kissed her on her nose. 

The rain noisily beat down on the roof of the caravan, the gray clouds outside making it quite dark in there. Trixie turned on a few lamps giving the small area a bit of mood lighting. Barbara busied herself in the kitchen, pulling out a few bottles of wine and whiskey. 

‘May as well enjoy ourselves while we wait it out,’ she said, placing the bottles on the counter. 

‘I like the way you think, Babs,’ Delia said as she eyed the Pinot Noir. 

Barbara returned to the kitchen and put together a tray of vegetables and dips for people to nibble on, the tray filling with bread and cheeses and thin cuts of meat. She placed the tray on a little table, just out of reach of Doctor Girlfriend, thankfully, though the pup was alert and at the ready if anyone dropped anything to the floor. Her eyes followed the path of Delia’s hand as she reached for a piece of cheese and brought it to her mouth, her little tail wiggling excitedly. 

‘I don’t suppose you have any movies or anything in here?’ Patsy asked. 

‘Unfortunately no,’ sighed Barbara, ‘I took out all the DVD’s to make room for some of Trixies things,’ she said opening a cubby. She pulled out an enormous tackle box, opened to reveal a series of retractable drawers full to the brim with makeup and brushes. 

‘Jesus, Trixie, you’re such a girl,’ Patsy said with a smirk. 

‘A girl who knows how to start fires,’ Trixie challenged, narrowing her eyes, ‘unlike some people here,’ she turned her attention to Barbara, ‘Sweetie, would you be a dear and hand me the nail polish? I’d like to do my toes now since we’re stuck in here.’ 

‘Where’s the whiskey,’ Patsy mumbled as Delia snickered in her lap. 

Barbara shuffled around the cubby as Patsy reached for the whiskey, pulling out the cork with a ‘pop’

‘Are we keeping it classy with glasses or can we drink from the bottle?’ Patsy asked. . 

‘Drinking from the bottle isn’t classy?’ Valerie asked as if this was unheard of. 

‘Just hold your pinky out when you take a swig,’ Delia suggested and demonstrated with the bottle of wine. 

‘I’ve found a torch if you want to tell ghost stories,’ Barbara suggested as she made her way towards the back of the caravan to sit by Trixie, trying her best to step over the dog and not fall over. 

‘What are we, kids?’ Valerie asked, and Lucille pinched her in response. 

‘Hush, it could be fun,’ she said with a smile. Valerie smiled back and bit her lip. 

‘Maybe you should tell everyone about that dream you had?’ Delia said, looking to Patsy. 

‘Which one?’ 

‘The one where you were raised in a demonic cult that killed everyone.’ 

‘That wasn’t a dream. It was an absolute nightmare,’ she said softly, staring oddly at the fingers on her right hand before shaking her head, seemingly in an effort to clear her head of bad memories before taking a long swig of whiskey. 

Delia sighed, ‘Well, there’s enough scary things going on in the world right now, I don’t need to hear about anything imaginary anyway,’ she pouted, taking a swig of wine before handing the bottle over to Lucille. 

‘Well how about we just stick to regular stories, then?’ Lucille suggested, smelling the bottle of wine before taking a sip. 

‘Yeah, feel like making one up, Barbara?’ Patsy asked, looking over towards the bed. Everyone followed her gaze and saw trixie laying back with her feet in Barbara’s lap, Barbara holding one of her feet in her hand as she moved to start painting her girlfriends toenails. 

‘Babs here is indisposed at the moment,’ Trixie said, hooking her fingers behind her head and wiggling her hips a bit, settling in. 

‘She can still use her mouth!’ Valerie said. 

Barbara laughed, not looking up from her handiwork, ‘What kind of story would everyone like to hear? 

‘Well I’m still interested in hearing how you two got together,’ Delia said, her fingers idly twirling around a lock of Patsy's red hair, ‘I mean, I know you two met in school but I don’t think we’ve ever heard the story about how you fell in love.’ 

‘Oh, I don’t know if it’s that interesting…’ Barbara said bashfully. 

‘Nonsense,’ Patsy said, ‘you two are the couple everyone wants to emulate. Go on then, tell us your secrets!’ 

‘A sweet disposition and a steady hand when painting your loves nails, it seems,’ Valerie quipped. 

‘That certainly helps,’ Trixie remarked, closing her eyes. 

‘Well I think it all started at that party after graduation,’ Barbara began. 

‘For me anyway,’ Trixie interjected, ‘from what I recall you telling me, you didn’t even know dating women was an option until I came along to broaden your horizons.’ 

‘Broaden your horizons, eh?’ Delia repeated, her eyebrows wiggling. 

‘Oh, not like that!’ Barbara blushed, ‘I was always just too aloof to notice that women were even an option and that there would even be anyone out there interested in dating me.’ 

‘This one in particular,’ Trixie said, pointing a thumb at herself. 

‘So what was it then?’ Lucille asked, ‘you said you became inseparable friends after the party. Then what?’ 

‘Well,’ Trixie started, her finger coming to her lip in thought, ‘I was rather put off by men or a bit. Barbara here actually helped me get through a rough patch in my life.’ 

Barbara smiled, ‘We helped each other in certain ways.’ 

‘I started dating women when the one I really wanted to date thought she was asexual,’ Trixie continued with a small smile. 

Barbara nodded resoundingly, ‘Never found myself attracted to anyone in that way. It baffled me as to why I never thought to date anyone until Trixie suggested I start reading up on it. Never even heard of it before then.’ 

‘Naturally I was upset, but I figured being with Barbara as her best friend was better than nothing.’ 

‘So for about a year I thought this was the case, but then I started to feel really lonely. Kind of like there was something missing in my life.’ 

‘How do you mean?’ Valerie asked, taking a swig of whiskey from the bottle. 

‘Well, Trixie went off and dated all these people. Nothing ever seemed serious, but I sat back and watched her have all this fun going on dates with the occasional bloke or girl sweeping her off her feet. After some time, I thought I wanted that, too.’ 

‘Romance,’ Trixie elaborated. 

Barbara nodded, ‘I read that there are asexuals out there who are _not_ aromantic, so I thought that was what I wanted.’

‘I suggested she date a nice man I went out with a few times.’ 

‘Tom?’ Barbara asked, softly blowing on Trixies toes to dry the polish. 

‘Right, the religious chap. He was sweet but I thought he suited Barbara more. I tried to get them to go out on a date, even though I was seething with jealousy the entire time. Glad it never worked out.’ 

‘I did date him! Don’t you remember?’

‘You did? Oh, I suppose I tried to forget all about that,’ Trixie said with a chuckle. 

‘Yes, well, compared to you, I found him rather dull and boring.’ 

‘I can certainly see that,’ Patsy remarked, Delia poking her in response. 

‘Anyway,’ Barbara continued, moving to paint the toenails on Trixies other foot, ‘things maybe lasted a few months with him before I ended it. It was a bit of a letdown, really, because as much as I wanted things to click with him they just didn’t.’ 

‘I may have set you up with someone boring on purpose,’ Trixie grinned. 

‘Well I can certainly see that now,’ Barbara smiled, ‘but in all honestly I’m glad you did. Seeing how much better being around you instead of him was a bit of an eye opener.’ 

‘Still took you almost another year to make a move.’ 

Barbara pinched Trixies pinkie toe in retaliation, ‘I was still figuring things out, thanks. Didn’t help that you were still flitting from lady to lady.’ 

Trixie shrugged. 

‘I will say I started noticing that I would get incredibly jealous whenever you did go out. I would fight with myself internally. My lizard brain would wonder why I wasn’t good enough and my rational brain would have to remind me that I wasn’t gay! Trixie was just a friend and she isn’t into you like that even if you were gay.’ 

‘Utter rubbish,’ Trixie mumbled. 

‘All that in conjunction with my upbringing… I was never taught to hate gay people but was always told they could never live as God saw fit. Never get into heaven and the like. I was terrified for a while that I might actually be gay and was in such denial. Was so far in the closet I was in Narnia.’ 

‘That’s the one with the talking lion, Val,’ Trixie quipped. 

Lucille crossed her arms, ‘Oh, she knows,’ she said, glaring playfully at Valerie’s cheeky grin. 

‘But then I fell ill with septicemia,’ Barbara continued, continuing to paint the last of Trixies toes, ‘and I was laid up in bed on a series of antibiotics for some time. I noticed that Trixie basically halted her life to come and take care of me. She would come by every day after work and spend the nights with me so I wasn’t alone. She even stopped dating!’ 

‘A huge sacrifice,’ Trixie giggled. 

‘I think with you being so close like that… it kind of reminded me how my father was with my mother when she was ill. He dropped everything to take care of her, and I started just… noticing you. Like I was really seeing you for the first time. How you would look at me, how you would talk to me, care for me. And then it just… clicked. It all made sense to me. The way I felt thinking about you with other people and the way you had looked at me… the way you always looked at me and I just didn’t see it,’ Barbara looked over to Trixie, smiling lovingly, ‘You were in love with me and I was in love with you.’ 

‘So that’s it then?’ Lucille asked. 

Both Barbara and Trixie looked at the four women in the caravan, all of whom were staring attentively at them on the edge of their seats. 

Barbara blushed profusely and looked back down at Trixies feet, ‘Oh, I suppose it is.’

‘Not true,’ Trixie said, ‘as soon as she got better we went out shopping, because after all that caretaking I needed some retail therapy. When we returned back to her place we were trying on our new clothes and makeup. I’ll never forget when I put on a new shade of lipstick, I looked over to her and said, ‘Darling, how does this make me look?’ and said, ‘Gorgeous! I think it’ll look good on me, too.’ And she leaned in and kissed me! A real smooch!’ 

‘Shocking!’ Delia teased, smiling at a blushing Barbara. 

‘I’ll say. I was completely gobsmacked,’ Trixie said, smiling, ‘and if I recall correctly, I was thankfully able to collect myself and return the smooch several times over that evening.’ 

‘You recall correctly,’ Barbara said, now red as a tomato. 

Trixie sat up and scooted closer to Barbara, gently losing her face in her hands and giving her a sweet kiss in the lips, ‘Thank you, sweetie,’ she said softly. 

Barbara merely smiled in response and Delia sighed dreamily, ‘Aw, that’s so romantic,’ 

‘Much better than a horror story,’ Patsy added.

‘Erm, Barbara,’ Lucille started shyly, and everyone turned to her, ‘How do you… um, how do you feel about it now? About being gay?’ 

Valerie silently looked at Lucille curiously and watched as she turned more and more red by the second. 

‘Oh!’ Barbara said, her eyes turning to the ceiling in thought, ‘Well I’ve come to terms with it now, haven’t I? I mean, I don’t consider myself gay so much as someone who is open to having romantic and sexual relationships with all kinds of people. Doesn’t matter to me if they’re men or women or trans, non-binary, etcetera,’ she shrugged, ‘It took a long time for me to figure it out because, like I said, I had no idea anything outside the norm was even an option. I sought out other groups of queer people who were raised similarly and talked to them. Hearing other people’s stories and how they came to terms with it helped me to accept it myself,’ she finished with a kind smile. 

Lucille shyly smiled back, ‘That’s… wonderful, Barbara.

‘It is wonderful,’ Trixie said, ‘she came home from one of these meetings last summer set on going to Pride for the first time. She was completely in awe and I’d never seen someone so excited or enthusiastic to go again the following year. Look,’ Trixie said, pulling out her phone and handing it to Lucille, ‘This was us a few months ago at London Pride.’

Valerie looked over her shoulder to see a photo of Barbara and Trixie in rainbow vests, tutu’s, and stockings, any exposed skin completely covered in glitter. 

‘You’re dressed as if you’re what people will find at the end of the rainbow,’ Valerie teased. 

‘Much better than a pot of gold, I think,’ Lucille said, winking. 

‘Thanks, though I think I’ll skip the glitter next year. I’m still finding it in places that o rather wouldn’t,’ she said shuddering and Barbara laughed.

* * *

It was still raining a few hours later, the women in the caravan pleasantly tipsy on their wine and whiskey as they moved onto telling more stories and paying card games. 

Valerie sighed and leaned into Lucille. Her body felt warm. She had her arm around Valerie’s shoulders, her hand idly twirling locks of Valerie’s hair around her fingers. Valerie felt sleepy, but awake. She felt light, as if there were little currents of energy flowing from Lucille’s fingers to her body. The two stayed like that for quite some time as they quietly listened to the four women in the cramped caravan chat and drunkenly argue. Eventually, Lucile leaned down and softly kissed Valerie’s ear. 

‘I want to kiss you,’ she whispered, sending a delightful shiver down Valerie's neck.

Valerie turned to her with a slight smile, leaning in, but Lucille pulled away. 

Lucille’s eyes grew heavy as her fingers ran through Valerie's hair again, ‘No,’ she said, pressing her lips softly against Valerie's ear, ‘I want to kiss you like I did last night… I want you to kiss me like that, too.’ 

Valerie nearly jumped out of her seat, but instead reached her arm out in a stretch and gave an exaggerated yawn.

‘Well, I’m completely knackered,’ she said to the room, ‘think all the running around today and drinking has done me in,’ she gave a slight smile to Lucille, ‘How about you, then? How are you feeling?’ 

Lucille leaned against the bench, her elbow propped up with her head resting in her hand. She tried to hide her smile, but Valerie knew better. 

‘I think it’s time or bed, yeah,’ she said quietly. 

Patsy, Delia, and Trixie barely paid them any mind as they rose from their seats. 

‘Goodnight, you two,’ Barbara said sweetly, ‘try not to get too wet out there.’ 

Lucille coughed awkwardly as Valerie tried not to smile, ‘I don’t think we mind a bit of rain, Barbara.’ 

They left the caravan and all but ran back to their tent, the summer rain hitting them on the way, wetting their shoulders and padding their hair to their face. Lucille unzipped the tent and ducked in after kicking off her shoes. Valerie followed suit, and zipped up the tent behind her. 

Valerie ran her fingers through her slick hair before looking at Lucille. She was kneeling in the corner of the tent, looking back at her expectantly. Valerie turned towards her, sitting on her knees and hooking her finger. 

‘Come here,’ she said. 

Lucille bit her lip and slowly crawled towards her, their lips meeting in a tentative kiss before Valerie leaned forward, pushing Lucille back onto her bum. Valerie knew she needed to take it slow. She had been given specific instructions to kiss her like she had been kissed the night before and she wasn’t going to go beyond that unless specifically asked to. 

She settled in between Lucille's legs as she kissed her, her mouth seeking her chin, her jawline, her earlobe, her collarbone. She kissed her way down as her hands lifted Lucille's top, exposing her belly and rib cage. Her mouth trailed fat, lazy kisses over the soft skin of Lucille's stomach, stopping only before she came into contact with the elastic waistband of her pyjama bottoms. 

Valerie's hands eagerly pushed up Lucille's top, her mouth making its way back up her torso before she stopped, looking up at Lucille's face. She seemed nervous. 

‘Hey,’ Valerie whispered, and Lucille looked at her, ‘I just want to make you feel good, alright?’ she said. 

Lucille gave a shy nod, and Valerie sat up. 

‘Why don’t you…’ she trailed off, trying not to get too distracted be the sight of Lucille laying there with her top completely disheveled before her, ‘why don’t you kiss me first? Hmm?’ Valerie asked, looking to Lucille, ‘I want you to touch me like you did last night. I loved how it felt,’ she said, thinking that having Lou kiss her like she did the night before would alleviate her nerves, ‘will you do it again?’ Valerie asked, her expression earnest and pleading. 

Lucille took a deep breath and nodded, her jitters seeming to wear off as she sat up and kissed Valerie. 

Valerie pulled Lucille into her lap as they kissed, wrapping Lucille's legs around her as her hands wandered over her bum, her fingers trailing under her top and over the soft skin of her back as she pulled the woman closer to her. Lucille wrapped her arms around Valerie's shoulders as they kissed, their bodies pressing hard together as Valerie gripped Lucille's bum and pulled Lucille as close to her as she could. 

Valerie leaned back, unraveling Lucille's arms from around her shoulders and guided her hands to the hem of her top. 

‘Will you take this off for me?’ she asked coyly. 

Lucille nodded, smiling, and pulled Valerie’s top up over her head, Valerie lifting her arms to help. The shirt was discarded as Lucille took in the sight of a half naked Valerie under her. She leaned in and kissed her sweetly. 

‘I can’t get over how beautiful you are,’ Lucille whispered against Valerie's lips. 

Valerie smiled and leaned back, pulling Lucille to lay on top of her, ‘You make me feel beautiful,’ she said, ‘your sweet kisses make me feel beautiful,’ she sighed, closing her eyes. She loved the way Lucille’s weight felt on top of her, pressing her into he soft duvet. 

Lucille simply smiled, and placed kisses all over Valerie’s face, making her giggle, down her jaw, her neck, her collarbone. Valerie squirmed under Lucille, mostly in anticipation for what was about to happen, but also because the soft fabric of Lucille’s top tickled her skin as Lucille kissed her way down her chest. 

Valerie looked down in time to see Lucille open her mouth and wrap her lips around her nipple, the sight shooting a bolt of desire through her body. A sigh escaped her lips as her head hit the duvet, her eyes closing as she allowed her body to respond to Lucille’s touches. She felt Lucille’s hands caress up her body and palm over her breasts with a newfound confidence that she lacked the night before, her mouth kissing the valley between her breasts. Lucille began kissing down Valerie’s body, her own hips shifting to settle over Valerie’s legs. Her mouth opened and placed fat kisses along Valerie’s rib cage and stomach. There seemed to be no place Lucille didn’t kiss by the time she reached the bottom of Valerie’s tummy and tentatively grazed her teeth along her hip bone, causing Valerie to unconsciously arch her hips into Lucille for more contact. 

Lucille giggled, biting her lip. Valerie sensed her hesitation and looked up to see Lucille eyeing her hungrily, but looked like she was too nervous to continue. 

‘Hey,’ Valerie said softly, hooking her finger again, beckoning Lucille to her. 

Lucille tucked her hair behind her ear before kissing her way back up Valerie’s body, their lips meeting once more in a passionate kiss. Valerie stealthily hooked her leg over Lucille’s hip and rolled her over, pushing Lucille into the soft duvet. 

They continued kissing as Valerie settled on top of Lucille, her hands gently guiding Lucille’s arms to rest above her head as her mouth trailed along her jawline, finding her earlobe and gently pulling. Valerie was happy to find Lucille’s body reacting to her touches, arching into her, craving more. Her mouth found Lucille’s again and kissed her sweetly as her hands found their way under Lucille’s top. 

‘May I take this off?’ she asked, sitting back on her heels. Lucille sat up on her elbows, her eyes looking over Valerie’s body as she slowly nodded, sitting up and raising her arms as Valerie pulled her top over her head. Lucille’s arms instinctively crossed over her bare chest, and Valerie gently coaxed them away, her eyes never leaving Lucille's face. 

‘You don’t need to be shy around me,’ Valerie whispered as she leaned forward, gently pushing Lucille to lay back down. She pressed her body into Lucille’s, feeling the woman under her take a deep breath, ‘You're beautiful,’ she continued, ‘I love you,’ she said, kissing her sweetly.

Lucille let out a sigh, her body writhing slightly under Valerie as skin pressed against skin. Valerie slowly kissed her way down, her body sliding between Lucille's legs as she did so. Eyes closed, she allowed her hands and mouth to guide her, and she listened to Lucille's breathing become heavier the further down she went. 

Valerie took her time, savoring the feel and smell of Lucille’s skin as she slowly grazed her nose and lips over her chest and the curve of her breasts, leaving wet kisses in her wake. She could feel Lucille's soft skin harden and rise in little bumps against her lips before she opened her mouth and swirled her tongue around a hard nipple. Lucille let out a sigh as she arched her back into Valerie, all but pushing her breast into her open mouth. Valerie closed her lips around Lucille’s nipple and gently tugged, enticing a whimper, more heavy breathing. The sound of the rain patting against the tent gave way to the small whimpers and moans from Lucille as Valerie kissed across her chest. Valerie’s hands were spread wide, roaming from Lucille’s hips and back to caress over one of her breasts while her mouth gave attention to the other. 

A shiver went down Valerie’s back when she felt two hands run through her hair, fingernails softly grazing her scalp. The contact had her tugging harder on Lucille’s nipple and the woman under her moaned. Valerie’s mouth traveled down Lucille's body, her hands following, finding their way under Lucille’s bum, pulling her hips up to her mouth while she sat back again on her heels. Valerie’s tongue reached out to lazily lick the sensitive skin next to her hip bone below her belly, above the hem of her pajama shorts. Her lips followed the path of her tongue, kissing and nibbling teasingly. Valerie had to fight the urge to go lower, to kiss her where she really wanted to. It made it all the more difficult that Valerie could smell her arousal, the scent triggering something in her brain that made her mouth water. She took one deep breath to memorize that scent before tearing herself away. 

She raised her head and her eyes finally took in the sight of Lucille. Her hair sprawled out around her face, her brown skin glowing in the low light, a small smile on her face as her chest heaved, accentuating those gorgeous breasts. Valerie ran her hands back up over the soft skin of Lucille’s body, slowly trailing over the curve of her hips and ribcage, over her soft breasts. Lucille gave a satisfied sigh and arched her back into Valerie’s touches, her legs wrapping around Valerie’s hips. 

Giggling, Valerie pulled Lucille's bum into her lap and guided her to sit up, taking Lucille's arms and wrapping them around her shoulders. Valerie reached behind her and grabbed the duvet, wrapping the two of them snuggly in it. She held Lucille steady as they kissed, her hands caressing Lucille's back. Valerie moaned into their kiss as Lucille ran her fingers through her hair, her mouth opening and tongue coming out to press against Valerie’s. 

‘You feel so good,’ Lucille whispered. 

‘Did you like that?’ Valerie asked softly.

Lucille smiled and nodded, pressing her body even closer to Valerie as she nuzzled against her neck, ‘I love how you kiss me.’ 

‘I want to kiss you all over,’ Valerie whispered, smiling, ‘You’re so beautiful,’ she kissed her, ‘you’re so sexy,’ she breathed, closing her eyes and kissing a spot under Lucille's ear. 

Lucille shyly ducked her head into the crook of Valerie’s shoulder. Giggling, she pushed Valerie so that they were laying down on their sleeping bags, side by side under the duvet, looking at one another with their legs still entangled. 

‘Of all the things, ‘sexy’ has never been used as an adjective to describe me,’ Lucille said shyly, her hand tentatively running down and up the length of Valerie's arm. 

‘You’re kidding,’ Valerie said with mock outrage, ‘I’m going to say it all the time now.’ 

Lucille playfully swatted at her and turned away. Valerie took the opportunity to wrap her arms around her, playfully kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck, causing Lucille to giggle. They soon settled comfortably with Lucille wrapped securely in Valerie’s arms, their legs intertwined. 

‘How are you feeling?’ Valerie asked softly. 

Lucille sighed, and snuggled up against Valerie as close as she could, ‘‘I feel… really turned on,’ she giggled, and Valerie smiled and playfully bit her shoulder. 

‘Me too…’ Valerie breathed in her ear, her hand wandering over Lucille's hip and back up again, ‘we don’t have to stop if you don’t want to…’ she trailed off. She didn’t want to press Lucille into anything she wasn’t ready for, but she wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight without knowing for sure. 

Lucille caught her hand and kissed it before placing Valerie's palm over her breast, ‘Well… I certainly wouldn’t say no to more of your sweet touches.’ 

Valerie smiled and trailed her hand down Lucille's body, over her hips and thighs and back up again, palming over her breast, Lucille sighing pleasantly in response, humming happily as she caught Valerie’s hand in her own again. 

‘Seriously though,’ she said, kissing Valerie’s knuckles, ‘I feel good. Like, I feel like… this is right. This feels right,’ Lucille said, taking a deep breath and holding Valerie’s hand close to her heart, ‘I think more importantly I feel taken care of. I feel loved.’ 

Valerie smiled and tightened her hold on Lucille as she placed a kiss on her ear, ‘Good,’ she breathed, ‘you are loved.’

Lucille closed her eyes, smiling, ‘I know,’ she said softly, ‘I love you, too,’ she said, taking Valerie’s hand and placing a light kiss on the spot between her thumb and forefinger, ‘I love you. So much.’ 

Valerie smiled, her nose sweetly nuzzling against the back of Lucille's neck before kissing her there. She closed her yes and took in her words, the way she smelled, the way she felt in her arms. She was so happy, and felt as if everything was absolutely perfect. 

Soon Lucille and Valerie’s breathing slowed, becoming in sync with one another. The rhythmic patting of rain against the tent was all that could be heard as the two finally fell asleep after a rather active day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew digital art was a thing?  
> [Blooming](https://www.deviantart.com/nowseehere/art/Blooming-752018768?ga_submit_new=10%3A1530241158)


	17. Chapter 17(NSFW-ish)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls spend their last day camping beating the heat by a private oasis, and together they all have some heart to hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to spoil the chapter before you've read it, but 'NSFW-ish' for a chat Valerie and Lucille have about oral sex. 
> 
> Also, Patsy and Trixie talk to Valerie about their backstories a bit more in depth, so.
> 
>  **TRIGGER-WARNING** for child death and sexual assault.

Valerie stirred awake that Sunday morning feeling rather uncomfortable. The duvet had long been thrown off her in an attempt to relieve herself of the sweltering humidity left behind by the rainstorm the previous evening. She reached up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, immediately noticing the thin layer of sweat on her face. Valerie sat up on her elbows, the sleeping bag under her sticking to her naked back before slowly peeling off. She made a noise of contempt at the heat, the sweat, how sticky and gross she felt. 

Valerie looked over to see Lucille in a similar state. Topless, hair a mess, limbs sprawled out, and covered in her own thin sheen of sweat, she had managed to roll over to the opposite side of the tent from Valerie in an attempt, Valerie assumed, to escape her body heat. As much as Valerie loved her girlfriend, cuddling with her seemed unbearable right about now. 

Valerie’s shuffling caused Lucille to stir. She watched as Lucille cracked open an eye and slowly take in her surroundings. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and made a noise similar to Valerie about the sticky state of things. 

‘Hey sexy,’ Valerie smirked, and Lucille chuckled and playfully swatted at her. 

‘Ugh,’ Lucille said, ‘I certainly don’t feel sexy right now. I probably look a sight.’ She sat up and ran her fingers through her unruly hair, ‘I forgot to wrap my hair last night,’ she grumbled, shuffling around in her bag. She quickly tied her curly hair into a neat bun, then wrapped a red handkerchief around her head, tying off the knot neatly in the front. Valerie blinked, having watched on mystified at Lucille make such quick work of her hair. 

Lucille collected their discarded tops from the night before and playfully threw Valerie’s top at her face, breaking the spell. 

The two dressed, and Lucille unzipped the front of the tent, and to their relief a cool breeze came through. 

‘Good morning!’ 

Valerie poked her head out and saw Trixie in a floral printed duster over her simple vest and shorts pyjama set, smoking a cigarette and minding the cast iron pan over the fire pit. She didn’t seem at all perturbed by the weather and looked as if she had spent the night under the comforting breeze of an electric fan. Valerie narrowed her eyes bitterly at the thought. 

Both Valerie and Lucille tiredly mumbled some semblance of a salutation as they exited the tent, stretching, their bones clicking. Lucille made her way to the public bathrooms while Valerie walked over to Trixie to examine the contents of the pan. There were several eggs and chopped up vegetables sizzling and smelling delightful. 

‘Wow, Trixie! Look at you!’ Valerie mocked enthusiasm, ‘Being all domestic and cooking something! Never thought I’d see the day.’ 

‘Oh, I don’t usually. I live off a diet of cigarettes and mineral water,’ she blithely commented, emphasizing her point by taking a long drag of her cigarette and blowing out smoke rings, ‘Barbara abandoned me to keep an eye on them so she could chop more veggies,’ she sighed dramatically, ‘I suppose I’ll have to do something around here to earn my keep though,’ she said, taking a spatula and managing to fold the egg in half, scooping it out of the pan and plating it. She handed the plate to Valerie just as Barbara exited the caravan. 

‘Looks like my job here is done,’ she smiled and turned, her duster flowing about like a silky cape as she made her way to the picnic table, throwing open a Vogue magazine.

‘You spoil her,’ Valerie said to Barbara. 

‘I’m on vacation!’ Trixie shouted, and Barbara laughed, breaking a new egg in the pan. 

Just then there was the sound of heavy footsteps coming up the path. The three women turned to see Doctor Girlfriend happily appear up the trail followed by a sweaty and miserable looking Patsy carrying a smug Delia on her back.

‘Good lord, Delia, are you hurt?’ Trixie asked. 

‘Nope!’ She said happily, hopping off Patsy, the taller woman immediately bending to grasp onto her knees to catch her breath, ‘The only thing hurt is Patsy's pride. She lost a bet!’ 

‘Oh dear,’ Barbara quipped, ‘Patsy, what on earth did you do?’ 

‘Stupidly doubted my wife’s athletic abilities,’ Patsy grumbled to her knees before standing up straight, hands on her hips as she caught her breath. 

‘Damn right you did. She didn’t think I could do this,’ Delia tucked her top into her shorts before she raised her hands over her head. She fell forward and was suddenly upside down, walking several paces on her hands past Patsy who looked down at her with contempt. Delia gracefully landed back on her feet, her hands in the air as if she had just done something marvelous, ‘Ta-da!’ 

‘Show off,’ Patsy grumbled, wiping the sweat from her eyes. 

‘Wow, Delia! You’re ready for the circus!’ Trixie quipped, taking one last drag of her cigarette before stubbing it out. Delia stuck her tongue out at her. 

‘That’ll teach you to doubt your wife, I suppose,’ Barbara snickered before turning back to the omelettes. 

‘I feel like that might be something you should find out about someone before you ask them to marry you,’ Valerie mentioned. 

‘What is?’ 

Valerie turned to see that Lucille had appeared next to her, having returned from the bathrooms. 

‘Any interesting abilities. Athletic or otherwise,’ she said, crossing her arms and looked skeptically at her girlfriend, ‘you’re not hiding anything from _me_ , are you?’ 

Lucille laughed, ‘Me? Athletic? Hardly. I’m much too clumsy. Though I do have a knack for falling on pretty women,’ she said smiling and playfully leaned her shoulder against Valerie’s while she batted her eyelashes. 

Valerie giggled, her mind affectionately going back to their incident in the library that kicked off their current relationship, ‘Oh? So you do that often then, do you? Should I be worried?’ 

‘Oh, absolutely,’ Lucille teased, smiling, ‘but you were the first one that caught me. That’s how I knew you were the one.’ 

‘That’s my secret skill. Catching pretty women who fall out of the sky,’ Valerie teased back, her smile growing wide. Looking at Lucille smiling back at her made her feel ridiculously happy, and she almost felt as if she was going to lean in and kiss her. 

‘I feel like I’m missing something here,’ Trixie said.

Both Valerie and Lucille blinked and pulled away from one another to look back at their friends, who were all staring at them curiously. 

‘Yeah,’ Delia quipped, hands on her hips, ‘I feel like you two are holding out on an integral part of your getting together story.’ 

‘Sounds like they met through the old rom-com trope of literally bumping into one another,’ Patsy remarked disinterested as Barbara handed her a fresh omelette. 

‘Half true. Lou here almost died and I saved her life,’ Valerie said proudly, sitting at the picnic table across from Trixie. 

‘Hardly,’ Lucille tutted as she followed Valerie, sitting next to her, ‘You were the reason I was in such a precarious position in the first place. If I didn’t know better you probably planned for me to take a tumble into your arms.’ 

‘I didn’t, but if I had I wouldn’t regret it,’ Valerie looked up, a blush and a cheeky smile spread across her features as she thought back on Lucille’s breasts pushed against her face for the first time when she took that tumble in the library. Thoughts of their fooling around from the night before suddenly sprang to the forefront of her memory and for a moment Valerie could see nothing in front of her other than the vision of Lucille’s gorgeous body under her. 

‘Are you going to eat that?’ Lucille asked. 

Valerie blinked back to the world around her and looked down at the plate in front of her.

‘I’m getting around to it,’ she said. 

‘Can I have a bite?’ Lucille asked, leaning in close. 

Valerie attempted to hide her plate from Lucille, ‘No, it’s mine.’ 

‘Why are you so terrible at sharing?’ Lucille asked, leaning in closer. 

‘I’m an only child,’ Valerie replied, now holding her omelette as far away from Lucille as possible from their spot at the picnic table, ‘I can’t help it.’ 

‘But there’s plenty else for you to eat’ Lucille exclaimed, gesturing wildly with a knowing smirk, ‘Literally falling from the sky!’ 

‘If you’re referring to the leaves, my diet has changed!’

‘I thought she was referring to women who land in your arms,’ Trixie quipped, Patsy and Delia giving a hearty laugh in the background. 

‘Wait, leaves?’ Barbara asked intrigued, looking up at the trees, ‘Like actual leaves?’ 

‘It was the one time!’ Valerie shouted, turning red in the face, ‘That leaf had a vendetta against me and it had to go,’ Valerie said, grasping a fork and taking a hearty bite of her omelette. She pushed her plate to Lucille, succumbing to her puppy dog eyes and let her finish off her breakfast. 

‘I’m starting to gather just how you stay so trim, Val,’ Trixie teased. Valerie rolled her eyes in response. 

‘I thought you two met at the library,’ Patsy said as she took a bite from her own omelette. 

‘We did,’ Valerie said casually with her chin in her hand, ‘the whole falling thing happened because I asked for a book recommendation one day, and the one she picked for me was on a high shelf.’ 

‘Oh, right,’ Lucille said, pursing her lips, ‘this was when we were forced to use those stupid wobbly buckets that were an accident waiting to happen.’ 

‘An accident did almost happen. Lucky I was there to catch you.’ 

‘Yeah, lucky for me you’re so strong,’ Lucille flirted, winking. She offered a bite of omelette to Valerie who opened her mouth and ate it. 

‘Suppose all those pushups I was forced to do in the army wasn’t for naught,’ Valerie smiled, casually flexing her right arm. 

‘How many push-ups can you do?’ Delia asked wide eyed with a mouthful of omelette.

Valerie looked up in thought, ‘Um, don’t know, honestly. Haven’t done any since my last PT test.’ 

‘I can do at least 50,’ Delia said proudly, ‘always passed that portion with flying colors on my tests.’ 

‘50?! In under a minute?’ Valerie spat, ‘Bollocks, there’s no way you can do that many that fast.’ 

Delia whirled around to Patsy for validation, but received none. 

‘Delia, eat your breakfast,’ Patsy mumbled from behind a cup of coffee. 

Delia paid her no mind and whirled back around to Valerie, crossing her arms. 

‘I can so do them that fast.’ 

‘Well?’ Valerie challenged. 

‘I’m not doing them by myself. You have to do them with me,’ Delia said, ‘we’ll have a contest.’ 

‘What? No, that’s a terrible idea,’ Valerie said, ‘you’re the one making the outrageous claim.’ 

‘I want to see you do them,’ Lucille said with a sly smile. 

Valerie turned to Lucille, eyebrows furrowing, ‘Don’t you encourage her.’ 

‘What’s wrong Val? Don't think you can do it?’ Delia challenged. 

‘Uh, no. I _know_ I can’t do 50.’ 

‘Make it 20 then,’ Patsy said standing up, ‘I’ll be the judge.’ 

‘What the-!’ Valerie sputtered looking around and finding no support, ‘Ok, this is hardly fair.’ 

‘How so?’ Trixie asked.

Valerie rolled her eyes, ‘Well first of all, the judge is married to one of the contestants, so there’s a huge conflict of interest right there. Second, my arms are twice as long as Delia’s.’ 

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Delia asked, her eyes narrowing. 

‘Means I’ve got a lot further down to go than you, haven’t I?’ Valerie said.

‘You trying to say I’m short, Val?’ 

‘More compact, sounds like,’ Barbara interjected. 

‘I’m not calling you short!’ Valerie exclaimed, leaning back and crossing her arms, ‘I’m just saying you have little t-Rex arms.’ 

Delia lept from her seat, ‘Yeah, and claws to match!’ 

‘Poor Patsy!’ Valerie replied, stifling a laugh and bringing her arms to cover her face as omelet was thrown across the table at her. 

‘It is eight in the morning!’ Trixie shouted, extending her arm between the two to keep Delia from launching over the table at Valerie, ‘I feel like I’m surrounded by children.’ 

‘She started it,’ Valerie mumbled. 

Delia stuck out her tongue and flicked a bit of egg at her in response. 

‘Well, come on you two,’ Patsy said from her position by the fire pit. 

‘Oh, please don't make me so this. I’ve done absolutely zero working out and and had nothing but cigarettes and booze since I’ve been out,’ Valerie groaned. 

‘Perfect opportunity to sweat it all out then,’ Patsy replied with a smirk, her hands on her hips, ‘Come on now, Dyer. I had to learn the hard way this morning, too.’ 

Valerie swiveled in her seat to look at Lucille, ‘I blame you for this.’ 

Lucille merely leaned in close with a small smile that made Valerie’s heart melt a little, ‘I wanna see what my big strong girl can do,’ Lucille whispered with a wink, her hand coming to lightly grasp on Valerie’s bicep. 

Valerie tucked her bottom lip onto her mouth, any annoyance towards Lucille evaporated immediately at her words. She sighed in defeat and stood from her seat. 

‘Alright,’ Patsy said as Delia and Valerie approached, ‘I need Trixie and Barbara for this too.’ 

‘You do?’ Barbara asked, intrigued. 

‘I want no part of this,’ Trixie said, pulling out another cigarette. 

‘I simply need for you to count their pushups so I can watch their form.’

‘Our form?’ Delia squeaked. 

Patsy turned to her wife with a small smile, ‘Yes, silly. You didn’t think I’d let you participate without doing your pushups properly, would I?’ 

‘Oh brother,’ Delia rolled her eyes as Barbara approached, looking happy to help. 

‘As long as you don’t make _me_ do any pushups, I suppose I can help,’ Trixie sighed, getting up from her spot at the table. Lucille turned around to watch, munching on her omelette as everyone got into position. 

‘Alright,’ Patsy said, looking between the two, ‘You know the drill. On your face!’ 

‘I bet you really miss being able to say that,’ Valerie grumbled with an eyeroll. Patsy blatantly ignored her as she and Delia got into the push-up position. 

‘First one to reach 20 using the proper form wins, got it?’ Patsy said as she crouched down to observe the two women.

‘You’re toast, Val,’ Delia said. 

‘Whatever you say, stumpy,’ Valerie sighed. 

Delia growled and Patsy turned to Valerie, ‘Stop insulting her, Dyer, you’re just adding fuel to the fire.’ 

‘But it’s fun. Look at how red in the face she is.’ 

‘I’m going to end you, Dyer!’ Delia screamed at the ground. 

‘Patsy will you make them start already!’ Trixie said, exasperated. 

‘Go.’ 

Delia immediately started doing push ups. Valerie took the time to roll her eyes again, disinterested, before she began. She made it to about 12 before the pain started to kick in. She grit her teeth and pushed her way to 20, her arms shaking slightly as she got to the last three. Before she reached her last push-up, she could hear the jubilation coming from Delia who had finished first. 

‘Woo!’ Delia sat back on her knees, ‘T-Rex arms here pack a punch!’ she exclaimed, flexing triumphantly. 

‘Deels, I have to disqualify you,’ Patsy said. 

Delia’s face fell, ‘Aw, what? Why?’ 

‘Because halfway through you crossed your ankles. You have to keep both sets of toes on the ground.’ 

Delia smacked her forehead, ‘Oh, come on, that’s… you can’t… I don’t…’ Delia trailed off grumbling. 

‘Sorry babe,’ Patsy shrugged, standing from her crouched position, ‘rules are rules.’ 

Delia huffed, sitting cross legged with her arms crossed tight over her chest, ‘Well some rules are stupid.’ 

Patsy turned to Valerie who was still sitting on the ground, catching her breath, ‘Well done, Dyer,’ she extended her hand to help Valerie stand. 

‘Thanks,’ Valerie said a bit breathless, a bit embarrassed at how out of shape she was. She raised the hem of her top to her face, wiping the sweat from her forehead. Her sweaty, sticky feeling reminded her of the grimy state she woke up in. 

‘Sheesh, Delia, next time you want a push-up contest, can we not have it on the hottest day of the year?’ she commented. 

‘Oh! That reminds me,’ Patsy said excitedly as she helped Delia stand, ‘when we went looking for Delia yesterday, I stumbled upon a swimming hole. It’s got a wooden dock and a rope swing and everything. I’m thinking if we get there early enough we can beat the crowds.’ 

‘Ooh, I hope there isn’t a crowd,’ Barbara mentioned, ‘most people start to head on home on Sundays. We might have the place all to yourself if we’re lucky!’ 

‘Do you know where I’m talking about?’ Patsy asked. 

Barbara nodded, ‘Yes, north from here towards where you ran off yesterday? I can’t remember what it’s called but I remember there being a rope swing. That things been there for ages. My sister and I probably swam there when we were kids.’ 

‘You can’t remember what it was called because all the signs were in Welsh?’ Patsy asked with a smirk.

Barbara shrugged with a smirk, ‘Most likely. Maybe we can get Delia to help us with that.’ 

‘If she’s speaking to us,’ Patsy remarked, looking over to Delia who was still stewing over being disqualified from her push-ups. She smiled at her and turned to the group, ‘How does that sound to everyone? Up for a bit of swimming today?’ 

‘Oh, yes please,’ Valerie said, thinking a dip in any kind of water would have her feeling infinitesimally better. 

There was a chorus of affirmation from the the other four women, and everyone agreed to start getting ready for their day by the swimming hole as soon as breakfast had been eaten.

* * *

Valerie found herself following Patsy through the forest to where she said she saw the watering hole. The two of them had cleaned up breakfast and changed before the rest of the girls were ready, so they decided to set off on their own and claim a spot. Together they carried with them a rucksack with towels and a blanket to lay on, and a cooler full of sandwiches, snacks, and cold drinks. 

They chatted idly as they hiked, Patsy stopping every so often to try and read the Welsh signs and head in the correct direction from memory. Eventually the trail ended and they came to a clearing through the trees. Valerie could hear running water before she was able to see where it was coming from. 

‘This is it,’ Patsy remarked as they stepped out. 

Valerie looked up and around with wide eyes at the sight. It was as if an enormous rock had been carved out by a river that ran through here a millennia ago. The only remaining semblance of a river being the trickling waterfall that filled the pool, the water a clear blue. The other side of the pool has a stream that trickled down the hill, connecting to the river Wye, Valerie presumed. 

Just like Patsy mentioned, there was a wooden dock that took you to the deep end, and a rope swing that hung idly from a sturdy branch over the water. It looked worn from years of use by other campers. 

‘I’m astounded no one else is here yet,’ Patsy said as she took in the surroundings. 

‘Maybe Barbara was right about the other campers leaving on Sundays,’ Valerie said, silently giving the cosmos her thanks if they were able to enjoy this little oasis by themselves today. 

‘Come on,’ Patsy said, tilting her head towards a shady spot, ‘let's set up under the trees over there.’ 

Valerie followed and they offloaded, pulling out the large blanket and unfurling it. 

‘Don’t worry too much about Delia,’ Patsy remarked as they laid the blanket down flat, ‘she can get a bit hot-headed when her competitive streak flares up.’ 

‘You don’t say,’ Valerie quipped smartly and Patsy chuckled. 

‘I don’t want you to let her push you around, is all,’ Patsy said, sitting down and taking off her trainers, ‘She grew up the only girl with three older brothers. It’s kind of how she was raised to survive.’ 

‘Oh, well that explains a lot,’ Valerie said, sitting next to Patsy on the blanket and removing her top to reveal a bikini top that looked more like a sports bra, ‘I was actually worried my teasing might hurt her feelings, honestly.’

‘Don’t worry, her skin is much thicker than that. It’s honestly quite fun to see you two fight,’ Patsy smiled as she shuffled around in the cooler, retrieving a carbonated water for herself. 

‘Yeah, I hope everyone knows we’re just playing. It’s hilarious to see her get so worked up though.’ 

‘Isn’t it? I’m glad you’re around to do it because I can’t bring myself to tease her so mercilessly,’ Patsy laughed, ‘though, I assure you she has a sweet side.’ 

‘I know,’ Valerie said, thinking back to how vulnerable Delia seemed the day before when she found her, ‘I’ve seen how she is with you and Doctor Girlfriend.’ 

‘No, I mean she has a sweet side with her friends, too. Though with the way you two carry on I’m sure she sees you more as an annoying sister.’ 

Valerie laughed, ‘Yeah, it feels like we’re as good as. Hey, at least she won’t be stealing any of my clothes like a real sister would.’ 

Patsy rolled her eyes, ‘I assure you she only takes mine, and it’s a one way street that only benefits her. Everything she has is too small and girly for my taste.’ 

‘I bet that’s one reason why Trixie was so keen on getting together with Barbara. They’re the same size and she was able to double her wardrobe!’ 

‘I can’t imagine Barbara having the flamboyant style that Trixie-‘

Patsy suddenly cut herself off, her jaw slack as she looked past Valerie. 

Valerie turned around and her expression suddenly matched Patsy's as she watched an excited pup followed by four beautiful women scantily clad in bikinis emerging from the trees. The foursome ran past the two of them, Patsy and Valerie’s gazes following, as their feet splashed into the water. A chorus of shouts and giggles filled the air as the women splashed around and got their feet wet by the shore of the swimming hole. 

‘Um…,’ Patsy started, her gaze unwavering from the giggling women frolicking in the water, ‘what were we talking about?’ 

‘No idea,’ Valerie said, mesmerized, ‘Was it gorgeous long legs? Because that’s all I can think about right now.’ 

‘Stop ogling us and get in here,’ Trixie said with her hands on her hips. 

‘But we can admire the lot of you so much better from here!’ Valerie said with a cheeky grin, to which Trixie responded by waving her hands at her dismissively. She grabbed Barbara by the hand and they ran into the water together until they were waist deep, playfully splashing each other as they swam around. 

Delia ran up to Patsy, raking her fingers through her long hair to get it out of her face. 

‘Come on babe,’ she said, pulling Patsy by both hands until the taller woman stood, ‘Race you to the dock!’ 

‘Hey!’ Patsy managed to shout as she took off after a running Delia, throwing her shirt off and discarding it on the ground, revealing a black bikini top to match her board shorts. Valerie watched on as two pairs of feet patted noisily against the wooden dock. Patsy had managed to catch up to a screaming Delia, enveloping her in her arms and lifting her off her feet, twirling her around before letting go and jumping in first, Delia laughing, running up and jumping in after her. Doctor Girlfriend paced the dock, barking excitedly before awkwardly jumping in after her mummies once they resurfaced, and paddled around happily.

Valerie smiled at the sight, but looked on with a hint of concern as she saw her own girlfriend standing by the edge of the water timidly, looking rather hesitant at the inviting water. 

Valerie walked over to Lucille and reached for her hand. 

‘What’s the matter?’ 

Lucille gave a reassuring smile and squeezed Valerie’s hand, ‘Oh, nothing. I’m just used to the ocean, is all.’ 

‘Oh?’ 

‘Yeah… I’ve never swam in a pool like this before and just… the rocks,’ she squished up her nose slightly, ‘They’re slimy. I don’t like how they feel on my feet.’ 

Valerie laughed, ‘Oh, is that all?’ 

‘Yeah. I wish I had thought to bring water shoes.’ 

‘Don’t worry about it. Hop on,’ Valerie said, pointing her thumb over her shoulder, ‘I’ll carry you in.’ 

Lucille giggled, ‘Seriously?’ 

‘Sure, why not?’ Valerie shrugged, ‘That way your feet won’t have to touch the bottom.’ 

Lucille bit her lip, hesitating.

Valerie shrugged again and turned on her heel towards the water, ‘Well, if you’d rather not…’ 

She started walking towards the pool and almost tumbled in with a loud ‘Oof!’ as Lucille jumped on her back and hooked her arms and ankles around Valerie. 

‘I see you’ve changed your mind then,’ Valerie groaned out, collecting herself, finding her balance and interlocking her fingers under Lucille’s bum. 

‘Yup!’ Lucille said enthusiastically, ‘figured I’d see if this was as good as Delia made it look with Patsy earlier.’ 

‘Oh, brilliant. Our women see us as nothing more than convenient modes of transportation.’ 

‘Not true. You’re a good source of nutrition, too,’ Lucille teased. 

‘Because you bat your eyelashes and eat my food while I’m mesmerized. You’re lucky you’re so cute,’ Valerie grumbled as she hitched Lucille a little higher on her hips. 

‘Well, let's go! Giddy up! What do you English say? Pish posh! Tally ho! Bums your uncle!’ 

‘Bum?!’ Valerie repeated outraged as she made her way into the water, ‘Bums your uncle?!’

‘I like that version better than ‘Bob!’’ Delia called over to them from her spot on the dock. 

‘Lucille, you’ve made an absolute mockery of our English colloquialisms,’ Valerie quipped, the water to her knees now. 

Lucille giggled, ‘I’m still learning.’ 

‘Rubbish. You probably know more than I do.’ 

There was a brief pause while Lucille thought of a response. After a moment she simply said ‘I definitely do not,’ quietly into Valerie’s ear. 

Valerie noticed a change in her voice, no longer playful, but more somber. She decided to let it be while she eased them up to their waists in the water. 

‘Ooh, that’s colder than I thought it would be,’ Lucille gasped as she was slowly submerged in the water. 

‘You alright? Want to keep going?’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll get used to it. Just wasn’t expecting.’ 

Valerie walked them deeper into the pool until the water came up to their chests. 

‘How is this?’ Valerie asked. 

‘Perfect.’ 

Valerie paused, thinking that Lucille would let go and swim about, but she didn’t loosen her grip. 

‘Don’t you want to swim?’ Valerie asked. 

‘I’m good here,’ Lucille replied, and Valerie could hear the smile in her voice. 

Valerie shimmied out of Lucille’s grip momentarily, ducking her head underwater to wet her face and hair, ‘Ah, that’s better,’ she sighed when she appeared above water, turning around to face Lucille. She grasped Lucille’s legs under the water and wrapped them around herself again, her hands resting under Lucille’s thighs while Lucille brought her arms to wrap around Valerie’s shoulders again. Valerie closed her eyes for a moment while Lucille ran her fingers through her wet hair, leaning into her touch. 

When Valerie opened her eyes again, she saw a delicacy in Lucille’s gaze, a longing. Valerie watched as Lucille’s eyes studied her face, taking her in. 

‘Is something in your mind?’ Valerie asked softly. 

Lucille smirked, ‘Oh,’ she sighed, ‘lots of things,’ she said, running her fingers through Valerie’s hair again, ‘I was just thinking how beautiful you are.’ 

Valerie smirked and rolled her eyes, ‘Oh, do go on.’ 

Lucille laughed and splashed her a little, ‘I was also thinking…,’ she trailed off, her arms wrapping around Valerie’s shoulders again, ‘how good you are to me.’ 

Valerie blushed and felt like she wanted to dunk her head in the water again, ‘Aw, Lou,’ she smiled bashfully, ‘I just want to take care of my girl, is all.’ 

Lucille smiled, pulling Valerie close to her and resting her head in the crook of Valerie's shoulder, ‘I know, honey. You take very good care of me.’ 

Valerie felt rather perplexed at this sudden swell of affection coming from Lucille, so she tenderly kissed her ear and asked, ‘Everything alright?’

Lucille nodded, ‘Yeah,’ she sighed, ‘I just want to be close to you.’ 

Valerie’s heart thumped wildly in her chest at Lucille's words, her hold on her love tightening. She closed her eyes and slowly breathed in Lucille’s scent, taking in the feel of her wrapped up in her arms. Her mouth eventually sought skin and feathered soft kisses along her neck. 

‘Didn’t get your cuddles in this morning, eh?’ Valerie remarked with a knowing tone. 

‘Not at all,’ Lucille said, pulling away with a smile, ‘you’re finally the proper temperature for a good cuddle.’ 

Valerie swirled them around so that her back was to their friends, all of whom were noisily splashing around with the dog and paying them no mind. 

‘How about a good kiss?’ Valerie grinned, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Lucille leaned in and happily obliged Valerie's request, closing her eyes and kissing her sweetly. The two shared a few more sweet kisses while their hands wandered, before pulling away, Lucille running her fingers through Valerie's hair once more and placing a few soft pecks on her eyebrows and the bridge of her nose. 

Valerie sighed happily, ‘I love how you kiss me.’ 

Lucille licked her lips, ‘I love how you kiss me, too…’ she trailed off, her eyes wondering over Valerie's features once again. 

Valerie looked back at her inquiringly, but remained silent. 

‘I sometimes wonder…,’ Lucille trailed off again, and Valerie watched her cheeks twinge the slightest shade of pink, ‘what it would feel like…,’ Valerie listened on intently as Lucille twirled a lock of her hair around her finger, ‘if you kissed me…’

‘Kissed you…?’ Valerie egged on. 

Lucille sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, her face turning more red than pink now, ‘Kissed me… places.’ 

Valerie grinned, feeling a bit red in the face herself as she caught on to what Lucille was trying to say. 

‘Places, eh?’ she remarked with an eyebrow raised. 

‘Ah!’ Lucille shouted, holding onto Valerie tight as she swirled them around in a circle. 

‘You mean super special places underneath the waistband of your pretty knickers?’ Valerie said quietly, but loud enough for Lucille to hear over her nervous laughter and the flowing water around them. 

Lucille pulled herself tight against Valerie, overcome with giggles. 

‘Hmm?’ Valerie asked teasingly, hooking her thumb under Lucille's chin to tilt her head up, ‘Is that what you mean?’ 

Lucille only looked at her, too shy to speak. 

Valerie took a deep breath, working to calm her own nerves and alleviate Lucille's shyness, ‘You want to know what that feels like? To be eaten out?’ 

Lucille bit her lip and nodded. 

Valerie shook her head and tisked disapprovingly, ‘You mean to tell me none of those silly boys you dated ever…?’ 

Lucille shook her head. 

Valerie sighed, ‘Alright, Lou, before I get into this, you have to promise me something.’ 

‘What?’ 

‘If we ever break up-’

‘Not happening,’ Lucille quickly interjected. 

‘Look,’ Valerie said, unable to contain her smile, placing a hand over her chest, ‘ _I_ certainly know we’re never _ever_ going to break up,’ she grinned, ‘but lets say I get hit by a meteor or something in a freak accident and you need to move on...’ 

‘Oh, don’t say that,’ Lucille whined, tucking her head into Valerie’s shoulder. 

‘Not likely to happen, but still,’ Valerie continued, ‘if something did happen and you felt so inclined to go off and date other blokes again, then I insist you be up front with the oral sex.’ 

‘What?! You mean like on the first date?’ 

‘Not _giving_ it!’ Valerie whispered incredulously, ‘Just make sure the people you’re with after me are all for it. In this day and age, oral should come standard with all new models, in my opinion,’ Valerie commented as if she were speaking about a used car, ‘If they won’t do it, dump them. They’re not worth your time. ’ 

‘Noted,’ Lucille remarked, giggling. 

Valerie looked at Lucille with a small smile, swirling her around again slowly in the water. 

‘So,’ she said, ‘what exactly do you want to know?’ 

‘Well,’ Lucille started off slowly, ‘I was wondering… what… what does it feel like?’ 

‘To be on the receiving end?’ 

Lucille nodded, ‘Do you… um, do you remember the first time someone… you know.’ 

‘Went down on me?’ Valerie smiled, ‘Lou, you can say it.’ 

Lucille bit her lip and blushed.

‘I’m going to need you to get comfortable with giving me directions, you know,’ Valerie whispered. Feeling rather daring, she moved her hands from Lucille's thighs to her bum and pulled her closer, ‘I fully intend on giving you those super special kisses,’ she smirked, ‘making you come with my mouth,’ she leaned in and kissed under Lucille's ear, causing her to gasp. 

Lucille looked away, blushing and sighing in exasperation, ‘Alright,’ she said, swallowing a lump in her throat, ‘what was it like the first time someone… went down on you?’

‘Huh,’ Valerie said, pulling away slightly and looking up in thought. 

‘Was it the first time you ever had sex?’ 

Valerie nodded, ‘Now that I think about it, yeah, it was,’ she bit her lip in thought for a moment before continuing, ‘I just remember thinking, ‘wow, this is different.’ Mainly because, you know, you’re only used to your own hands. The feeling of someone else's hands or mouth on you is really different. Especially that first time, because you’ve never felt anything like that before, have you?’ 

‘No, I guess not.’ 

‘It felt wonderful, by the way. All these new sensations,’ Valerie felt herself getting red in the face from the thought of it, ‘just having apart of yourself touched in a way that no one else had ever touched before.’ 

‘So you’re saying it won't feel special if I do it to you now?’ 

Valerie's face dropped, and Lucille grinned.

‘I’m kidding!’ Lucille exclaimed with a wide smile. 

‘I should bloody well hope so,’ Valerie remarked incredulous. 

‘I just worry that… you know… that I’ll be terrible at it.’ 

‘You won't,’ Valerie said confidently. 

‘How do you know?’ 

‘Because I’m going to tell you what to do. Right now.’ 

‘Oh?’ Lucille smiled, blushing. 

‘Yes,’ Valerie said, looking over her shoulder at their friends to make sure no one was paying them any mind.

Patsy was giving Delia a good push on the rope swing before the smaller woman jumped off and into the water, making a big splash. Barbara and Trixie were already out of the pool, relaxing on the blanket and feeding each other some cold fruit.

Deeming it safe to continue, Valerie held up her right hand, her fingers together and pointed straight up. 

‘Hold up your hand like this,’ she said, and Lucille mimicked her action with a curious eyebrow raised. 

‘Are you making me take an oath?’ 

‘Yes, you must pledge your allegiance to the order of the good lovers and dedicate your life to having great sex henceforth.’ 

Lucille giggled, ‘The order of the good lovers,’ she repeated, ‘any other members?’ 

‘Just me,’ Valerie grinned, ‘here, give me your hand.’ She wrapped her own fingers around Lucille's wrist and brought her hand close to her face. 

‘What are you going to do?’ Lucille asked softly. 

Valerie lightly kissed her hand, ‘I’m going to do to your hand what I would like to be doing to your pussy,’ she whispered, chancing a shy glance at Lucille's reaction before her tongue escaped her mouth and she licked up the length of Lucilled two fingers before kissing her fingertips. 

Valerie could feel Lucille's knees tighten their grip around her hips as she gasped. Valerie smiled against Lucille's palm before kissing her there, opening her eyes to look at the woman in her arms. Lucille's eyes were dark, her cheeks pink. 

‘So,’ Valerie whispered, ‘I can keep going,’ she said, emphasizing her point by repeating her prior motion with her tongue against Lucille's fingers, ‘or, you can give me some direction and tell me how you think you would like to be licked.’ 

‘I… have no idea what I would like,’ Lucille breathed. 

‘Oh, that’s OK,’ Valerie smiled reassuringly, ‘It’s going to be a trial and error thing until we figure out just what you like,’ Valerie gave a toothy smile, ‘and believe me, I’m absolutely ready to put in hours and hours of practice.’ 

Lucille giggled, shyly tucking her head into Valeries shoulder once more, ‘But,’ she started, giving Valerie a kiss on her neck, ‘I wouldn’t even know how to tell you what to do…’ 

‘Ah, well…,’ Valerie held up her own hand, ‘why don’t you do it to me then? Give it a go and I’ll tell you if that’s how I like it or not. You can give me the same directions when the time comes.’ 

Lucille bit her lip, her face turning completely red again. Valerie felt hot all over, like the water around her was on the cusp of boiling. 

Lucille tentatively brought Valerie's hand to her face, the tip of her tongue running up the length of her fingers. 

‘More,’ Valerie said, biting her lip, ‘use the ball of your tongue.’ 

Lucille did as instructed and Valerie let out a shaky breath, ‘Yes, just like that,’ she said softly, her smile growing wide, ‘just a bit more spit, a bit more pressure, and you’re golden.’ 

Lucille tried again and Valerie couldn’t help the bolt of desire that shot through her body, imagining Lucille's head between her legs, doing these exact motions with her tongue on her most sensitive area. 

‘Is that OK?’ Lucille asked

‘Oh, yes,’ Valerie breathed, her hands disappearing underwear again to run over Lucille's bum and thighs, ‘and just so you know, you don’t just have to use your tongue.’ 

‘No?’ Lucille asked, wrapping her arms around Valerie's shoulders again. 

‘Yeah,’ Valerie leaned in and kissed Lucille, tugging at her bottom lip with her lips, ‘you can use your mouth like that, too. You can kiss, pull, suck,’ Valerie kissed Lucille again, ‘just explore. Pretend like you’re biting into a really juicy piece of fruit.’ 

Lucille laughed, ‘Can’t imagine you’ll want me to use my teeth!’ 

‘Eep! Not there, no!’ Valerie laughed and twirled them around again in the water. 

‘Hey!’ Delia shouted. 

Both Valerie and Lucille whipped around to see Delia standing on the dock, hands in her hips. 

‘Are the two of you going to be off in your own little world all day or are you going to come and play with us?’ 

Valerie blushed and looked back at Lucille,’ You know, I am rather dying to try that rope swing,’ 

Lucille smiled, ‘You go on ahead, I think I’m ready for second breakfast.’ 

Lucille positioned herself on Valerie’s back and Valerie carried her to the shore of the pool, only letting her go once they were safely back on the grass. Lucille joined Barbara on the blanket under the tree, Trixie having moved her towel into the sun and was relaxing with a magazine. 

Valerie ran over to Patsy and Delia, the two women giving Valerie some enthusiastic instructions before pushing her off on the rope swing and into the water with a loud splash.

* * *

Several hours later, after sandwiches had been passed around and eaten and a rope swinging backflip contest had been spearheaded by Delia (she being the only participant) the women found themselves grouped off and lounging about. Barbara, Delia, and Lucille were walking the parameter of the pool with Doctor Girlfriend, collecting interesting looking rocks and picking pretty flowers. Their respective partners sat on the blanket in the shade, Patsy and Trixie chatting idly about their upcoming week at work.

Valerie was laying down next to Trixie, her hand behind her head with her gaze on the canopy of trees above her, a blade of grass twirling between her fingers and pressed lightly against her lips. She was only half listening to Trixie and Patsy's conversation, her thoughts on her and Lucille’s earlier conversation and the way Lucille had felt in her arms. She wanted to have her in her arms again. She wanted to be close to her, to kiss her. 

Valerie sighed wistfully, and he suddenly saw Trixie's upside down and inquiring gaze in her line of vision. 

‘Alright, Val?’ She asked. 

Valerie sighed again, ‘Yeah, just thinking about how hopelessly in love I am.’ 

Trixie smiled, ‘Oh, I think we’ve all been there.’ 

Valerie sat up and looked at her two friends, who looked back at her encouragingly. 

‘Sorry, I don’t mean to be a total sap, but I just appreciate her so much,’ Valerie looked back out at the three women, now on the opposite side of the pool. Delia was playing fetch with Doctor Girlfriend, throwing a stick she found into the water, the dog excitedly leaping in to retrieve it. Barbara and Lucille sat on the grass, engrossed in a conversation where Barbara was doing most of the talking and Lucille was listening intently. Valerie could only imagine what they were talking about. 

Valerie turned back to Trixie and Patsy, ‘I was just thinking how I’ve never been with anyone like her. Like, I’ve never been with someone who liked me enough to stick with me through a tough time. To see me at my worst like she did when I found out… when I found out my friend killed himself…’ Valerie trailed off, her gaze lowered while she shyly picked at her fingernail. She still found it incredibly difficult to talk about but felt like she could rely on the other two to listen. 

‘Oh, sweetie,’ Trixie said, placing a comforting hand on Valerie’s shoulder, ‘I didn’t know. I’m sorry about your friend.’ 

Valerie gave a half smile, ‘It’s alright. I mean, it’s not, but it’s not like it can be undone. It’s just, I suppose I took it like I did because he was the one person I was able to grow close to. To really open up to while I was over there…,’ Valerie sighed again, ‘And I hated myself because I could have been a better friend. Could have called him…’ Valerie shook her head and blinked back tears, composing herself, ‘Well, when I found out, I got pissed. Like, blackout drunk. Lucille was there and had to literally carry me home, I was so embarrassed,’ Valerie said covering her face with her hands before raking her fingers through her hair, ‘and she barely even knew me. We had just become friends. She had only given me her number a few days prior and… I don’t know. She refused to leave my side that night. Cooked for me and looked after me while I dealt with the hangover and everything. She even refused to let me sleep alone.’ 

‘I think she had seen something in you that was worth sticking around for,’ Trixie smiled. 

‘Well, if she did I hope I’m living up to it. I don’t feel like I deserve someone as sweet as her sometimes.’ 

‘Don’t say that,’ Patsy said with a type of severity that Valerie had never heard from the redhead before, ‘you absolutely deserve it.’ 

Valerie was taken aback, stunned into silence as Patsy furrowed her brows, scowling. 

‘You know, I almost went two decades thinking I was unworthy of anyone’s love after…’ Patsy paused, her forefinger and thumb pinching the bridge of her nose in a nervous type of tick before she took a deep breath and slowly continued, ‘When I was a kid,’ she started, ‘we went to the theater in London as a family. My sister and I with our parents. We were going to see a show for my mothers birthday, and… we were running late. My parents had been arguing over something insignificant, and my father walked quickly ahead of us to just, let off some steam, I suppose. He crossed the street while the red light was flashing and… I didn’t want to get separated from him, so I ran after him. The light had turned red by the time I got to the other side, but my sister wasn’t paying attention. All she saw was me take off running and she wanted to follow. She ran in the middle of the street and didn’t see… my mother jumped after her to pull her back but… they were both hit and… killed.’ 

Patsy placed her hand over her mouth and took a deep breath, Valerie and Trixie listening on intently. 

‘So I… up until recently, up until I met Delia, really, I lived a life that had been pretty much devoid of love. My father blamed me. I blamed myself. If I hadn’t run after him, they would still be alive. He wanted nothing to do with me for several years. Couldn’t bare to look at me as… as I got older… because I look just like her. Like my mother,’ Patsy wiped a tear away from her eye before she grabbed a lock of her own hair, ‘I’m not… I’m not even a fucking redhead. I’m blonde. The only reason I dye it is so I don’t see her when I look at myself in the mirror. So he doesn’t see her when he does look at me,’ she spat with a hint of bitterness,’ Patsy raked her fingers through her hair as she continued, ‘After the accident, he just tucked me away at boarding school so he wouldn’t have to deal with me, even when he would get reports back saying I was a top student. Saying I had a bright future. Even after I had become a doctor on my own merits and an officer in the military… everything I did, I tried to make him proud of me, to… forgive me,’ Patsy sighed and looked out onto the water, Valerie and Trixie remaining silent as she continued, ‘the social workers thankfully made me go to therapy, after the accident. I was able to talk to someone at least throughout my adolescence and eventually I learned to forgive myself but… there was so much damage that had been done. My father cut me out of his life when I needed him the most. He shut me out and… it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized that I was worth something. It took meeting Delia to make me feel like I could be loved unconditionally by someone again.’ 

Patsy shook her head and brought her hands to her face again, hiding her eyes, ‘And then Delia had her accident. Hit by a car while riding by her bicycle. When I finally found out… fuck. I felt like I was reliving that nightmare all over again. I felt like it was my stupid fault for wanting her to meet me at the terminal before I took off for deployment for six bloody months. Couldn’t have just said our goodbyes at her flat. She’s insisted that it wasn’t my fault at all but there’s always going to some part of me that will always hate myself, will always regret ever asking her to come, because if I hadn’t… she would have never… she’d still be…’ 

Patsy took a deep breath and collected herself, taking a moment to look towards the other side of the pool. Valerie followed her gaze and saw Delia sitting with Barbara and Lucille. The three were chatting happily while Lucille braided Delia’s hair, Barbara threading together what looked like a crown of flowers. 

‘I’ll always think I’m to blame for it,’ Patsy said, ‘How could I not? I almost lost the most precious person in the world to me because of some selfish request. The only person who loves me.’ 

‘Oh, well that’s just not true,’ Trixie remarked, almost indignantly. 

Patsy looked over to her curiously.

‘Come here’ Trixie said, leaning over and wrapping an arm around Patsy's shoulders. 

‘Delia certainly isn’t the only one,’ she said matter of factly, leaning in more to hug Patsy, ‘I love you.’ 

Valerie felt overcome by a swell of emotions, building up over the course of Patsy's story to this moment now as she witnessed her two friends embrace. Her mind flashed back to every moment she shared with Patsy. The woman had always looked out for her. Had always been willing to help. To be a mentor. To be there for her as a friend. Valerie couldn’t help the following outburst.

‘I love you too, Patsy!’ she shouted, and leapt across the blanket to engulf both women in a tight embrace, knocking everyone on their backs with surprised shouts, arms and legs entangling awkwardly while a few pairs of flip flops flew through the air. 

After the initial shock, Patsy simply closed her eyes and laughed, her arms coming to wrap around the shoulders of both Trixie and Valerie and gave them a good squeeze. 

‘You two are too much,’ she said happily. 

‘No, I think we’re just right,’ Trixie said, giving Patsy one last squeeze before sitting up. 

‘Really though,’ Valerie said, sitting back up and giving Patsy some breathing room, ‘Patsy, I’m… Im so sorry. About what happened to our family. I can’t imagine dealing with that kind of loss.’

Patsy gave a sympathetic smile, ‘I hope you never have to.’ 

‘It’s just,’ Valerie continued, ‘you’re a good person. None of those terrible things were your fault at all and… and if it wasn’t for you, I’d still be working at that damn pub. Probably depressed and drinking myself under the table every night.’ 

Valerie watched as a pink blush feather across Patsy's face, ‘Well, you very well know how I feel about taking care of family, Val.’ 

Valerie smiled, ‘Just know that you have a positive impact on the people in your life. You do matter to them. Delia isn’t the only one who loves you unconditionally.’ 

‘Here here,’ Trixie interjected. 

Patsy shrugged with a teary smile, ‘Well yeah, I’m sure Doctor Girlfriend loves me a whole lot, too.’

Valerie leaned over and playfully shoved the redhead, who couldn’t control her giggles. 

‘Hey,’ Trixie said, causing both Patsy and Valerie to look at her. She looked between the two of them with a sly smile, ‘did you notice that you two have started calling each other by your first names?’ 

Patsy and Valerie shared a look, blinking once they realized Trixie was right. 

‘Huh,’ Valerie said, giving Patsy a knowing smile, ‘must be the faeries.’ 

‘The what?’ Trixie asked. 

Patsy merely winked at Valerie and tapped her nose. 

Trixie rolled her eyes, ‘Anyway,’ she turned to Valerie, ‘you know, your story with Lucille sounds very similar to what Barbara had to put up with me. Though it wasn’t just one drunken evening she had to see me through. It was dozens,’ Trixie sighed, shaking her head, ‘Probably in the hundreds.’ 

Valerie’s expression turned somber as she turned to Trixie, listening intently, ‘You? Drunk? I’ve never seen you touch the stuff.’

Trixie raised an eyebrow, grimacing slightly, ‘I’m a recovering alcoholic.’ 

‘Blimey,’ Patsy said, looking rather surprised, ‘I just figured you didn’t like it.’ 

‘Oh, don’t give me that,’ Trixie bristled, ‘this is exactly why I don’t like telling people because of the way you two are looking at me right now.’

‘Sorry,’ Valerie said, looking away slightly, ‘but, you said Barbara helped you through that?’ 

Trixie took a deep breath, ‘You remember her mentioning us running into each other at that party? The one where afterwards we were inseparable?’ 

‘Yeah,’ Valerie said, and Patsy nodded in agreement. 

‘Well, the reason for that is… that night. She was looking for someone she had come to the party with, but ended up walking in on me and some bloke named Clifford who had tricked me. Locked me in the room with him. He was… he was trying to…’ Trixie took a shaky breath.

Valerie slowly placed a hand over Trixies, looking her in the eye, ‘It’s alright…’ 

Trixie shook her head and composed herself, ‘Well, you get the gist of it. Barbara walked in and startled him and he let go, thankfully. I remember running out of there, probably looking ghastly with my makeup smeared and clothing ripped. I remember waking up the next morning with bruises around my wrists and neck, too,’ Trixie sighed, ‘I… I don’t want to imagine what might have happened if she hadn’t walked in, but I thank god every day that she did.’ 

With shaky hands, Trixie took a cigarette out of her tote bag and lit it, taking a drag before she continued, ‘Well, afterwards, Barbara followed me. Wanted to make sure I was alright. She took me to an empty loo where she wet a flannel and wiped my face of all my smeared makeup. She just held me and let me cry. She didn’t ask any questions. Didn’t shame me or blame me for getting myself into that situation,’ she took another drag of her cigarette before continuing, ‘She ended up taking me back to her place for the night, saying she would make sure I as safe… and I was. I did feel safe. For the first time in my life I felt like someone was looking after me and I was… relieved. Like for the first time in my life I could just relax.’ 

Trixie ashed her cigarette before continuing, ‘You see, my… my mother worked all day, but I took care of my dad while she was away. He was a veteran… active duty during Bosnia and Kosovo and… well, when he came home from those wars, he was never the same. He had PTSD that was untreated… Used to drink away any money he was able to bring home,’ Trixie took a deep breath and took another deep drag of her cigarette, ‘I used to perform for him, you know?’ she said with a sad smile, ‘put on little shows and tell silly jokes and stories to make him laugh. Try and cheer him up a bit. Get him to pay attention to me… None of it really worked out in the end. He would go to work and I took over as caretaker for him up until I went into my A-levels because my mum… my mum had just… checked out. Could barely be there physically, was never really there emotionally. I was just a kid making sure he didn’t piss away his paychecks before we could pay rent and feed ourselves for the week. When I finally went off to boarding school, they divorced and my mum made it clear I wasn’t to help him, even though… even though I still thought he was a good man. Even though, at the time, I would have done anything for him. He was my dad. I loved him, but… I had spent so much of my youth taking care of others, that I had forgotten what it was like for someone to take care of me,’ she ashed her cigarette and looked back at Valerie with sad eyes, ‘Before Barbara, I don’t remember anyone ever taking care of me. Not like she did. I just felt… like a person again. Like I was genuinely loved and cared for, even if _she_ wasn’t in love with me, you know.’ 

Valerie nodded with a small smile. 

‘I knew then that Barbara was special, that I just wanted to be around her, you know? When I woke the next morning after the party, I felt so ashamed and embarrassed about the state I had been in, but she made me breakfast and made me feel better. I took her out for lunch as thanks and we spent the rest of the day together. I hadn’t felt such a close connection to anyone in my life. I knew that day that I was going to fall in love with her, if I hadn’t already,’ Trixie said, taking another drag of her cigarette, ‘but then, I started having flashbacks of that night, and I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t even want to be around men at all and acted like they were some kind of pariah if one of them so much as said a polite ‘hello’ to me in the shops or something. I started drinking… a lot. Mainly to fall asleep and not have any dreams. I made a complete and total arse of myself at more than one club…’ 

Trixie sighed sadly and stubbed out her cigarette into the ground, ‘That went on for about two years. Probably pissed away enough money to buy a mercedes with by the time Barbara finally convinced me I needed to change. I didn’t want to lose her, you know? So… she took me to my first AA meeting. Sat with me and held my hand. It wasn’t so bad and… I was encouraged by the others to keep going. To stay sober. Barbara drinks, but she doesn’t drink much, if at all. It was easy to be with her and have fun without alcohol while my other friends couldn’t have a social gathering without it. After going without for a few months and knowing I could do it, that I could stay sober, I decided I could try and trust men again. Barbara helped with that, too. While in Uni, we met Chris…’ 

Trixie looked over to Valerie, ‘You’ve met him. He’s the dentist who took care of that tooth of yours.’ 

Valerie rested her hand over her cheek where her tooth was removed a few weeks prior, that very day she had met Trixie for the first time, who insisted on patching her up after a very particularly brutal weekend. 

‘He was actually the first man I have ever had a platonic friendship with. It was actually quite liberating. Helped me start to trust men again and realize they’re not all absolute pricks.’ 

Trixies gaze wandered over to Barbara on the other side of the pool, running in circles, teasing Doctor Girlfriend with a small branch before throwing it for her to go and fetch. Her smile was wide, her skin browning from the day in the sun. She looked genuinely happy and absolutely beautiful. Valerie could see it inTrixies eyes how much she adored her. 

‘I was hard for a little while, being in love with Barbara when she didn’t feel the same for me at the time. I thought being her friend would suffice, and for a little while it did. But then… she got sick… ill with septicemia and… it was actually a lot worse than she let on. I took care of her as best as I could, but she ended up in hospital for some time. Almost had kidney failure. It was so scary, watching her grow pale and deteriorate, basically. I would have been absolutely wrecked if she hadn’t made it, but... ‘ 

Valerie watched as Trixie wiped away a tear from her cheek, ‘She’s a strong one. It took some time, but she pulled back from it. Overcame it,’ she sighed, shaking her head, ‘I can’t imagine… don’t want to imagine life without her, I love her so much and I was just… so… unbelievably, overwhelmingly happy… when she kissed me. When she said she loved me back…’

Trixies eyes rested on Barbara again. Both Patsy and Valerie looked over to their respective partners, who had all crowded around Barbara. She looked to be holding something close, her hands clasped against her chest. Slowly, with a wide smile on her face, Barbara opened her hands and a beautiful monarch butterfly flew out from her hands, fluttering up and up and into the trees, their gazes all following it’s path with happy smiles. 

Valerie’s heart melted at the sight of Lucille giggling back at Barbara, flowers in her hair as she and Delia chased after the butterfly, but it couldn’t compare to the way Trixie looked when Valerie looked back at her. For the very first time since meeting Trixie, she saw the woman give the most absolutely heartfelt and genuine smile she had ever seen her give, and it was all because of Barbara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, finally. 
> 
> You ever write a fic and have a particular scene in your head that you can't wait to write out and it takes you weeks, or months, in my case, to get there? That's the case with this whole butterfly scene with Barbara at the end here. If you watch the episode where she dies (tough, I know), you'll understand. 
> 
> [Swimming](https://www.deviantart.com/nowseehere/art/Stargazers-Chapter-17-753139513?ga_submit_new=10%3A1530845243) (still new to digital art. Layers? Colors? How do they work? I'll get the hang of it).


	18. Chapter 18 (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story finally lives up to it's name! Lucille and Valerie finally see some stars with their own eyes (in more ways than one).

As the last of the daylight faded beyond the hills that evening, the six women packed up their picnic site had trekked back to their camp, many of them opting to stop by the public bathrooms for a shower before they started on dinner. As it was their last evening there, they all worked together to make a hearty meal of salad, grilled steak, and vegetables, including asparagus and potatoes and plenty of red wine to pass around. 

A fire in the pit cracked and flickered as dishes were cleared and washed in the caravan. Once the last of the leftover dinner was stored away and the last bit of rubbish tossed in the bin, the group of women, sans Lucille, who opted to wait and shower after dinner, settled into their chairs with a healthy serving of red wine, Delia in particular happy to unload the burden from anyone who preferred white wine by drinking their share of the red. It didn’t take long for her face to flush, and she curled up in Patsy's lap, quietly twirling her red hair with her fingers while she whispered sweet nothings to the taller woman. Patsy stared back out at the fire with a silly smile glued to her face, her arms wrapped tight around Delia. 

Valerie stretched in her chair, her arms reaching high above her head as she yawned. Playing in the sun all day and her heavy dinner severely depleted her energy, and she was looking forward curling up under her fluffy duvet with Lucille in her arms and sleeping like a baby the rest of the night. 

The evening brought with it cooler temperatures, Valerie finding it perfectly comfortable to lounge in shorts and a jumper. As Lucille approached the site from the showers, Valerie saw she was wearing a similar outfit, a zipped hoodie with shorts, the hem cuffed high showing off those long legs of hers, which Valerie appreciated very much. 

‘Feel better?’ Valerie asked her girlfriend as she approached and sat in the chair next to Valerie. 

‘Yeah,’ Lucille said, raking her fingers through her moist hair, ‘just felt like I wanted a super long shower after being out all day.’ 

Valerie yawned again, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning over to rest her head on Lucille’s shoulder, ‘Good,’ she mumbled as she nuzzled against Lucille. 

Lucille giggled, her hand reaching up to gently pat Valerie’s cheek, ‘Oh, no you don’t.’

Valerie sat up with a confused ‘hmm?’

‘I need you awake tonight.’

‘You do?’ 

‘Yes,’ Lucille said, taking Valerie’s cup of wine from the armrest of her chair and taking a sip, ‘so don’t fall asleep on me. Don’t drink too much.’ 

Valerie looked at her with an eyebrow raised. What on earth would she need her awake for? 

‘You could have given me a heads up before I played out on the sun all day,’ Valerie remarked, taking her wine back from Lucille and having a sip. 

‘Well I just remembered it was tonight.’

‘What is?’ 

‘You’ll see,’ Lucille said elusively. 

Valerie was thoroughly confused, but thought it best to forgo the rest of her wine, lest she fall asleep here in her chair if she had even just one more sip. 

Barbara and Trixie joined the group around the fire, settling into their own chairs and relaxing as they watched the fire crack and flicker, smoke rising high in the air from the pit. 

‘All in all I’d say this was a weekend well spent,’ Barbara said, leaning back with her hands behind her head. 

‘Here, here,’ Lucille said as she tipped her cup of wine to Barbara. 

‘Yeah, thanks for inviting us along,’ Valerie chimed in, ‘for a first timer like myself, this was pretty grand. We would definitely do this again with you guys.’ 

‘Ooh! Maybe we can do it every year!’ Delia said excited. 

‘A new tradition for the Poplar nurses,’ Trixie commented. 

‘And one librarian,’ Lucille remarked. 

‘And one doctor,’ Patsy added. 

‘Um, excuse me,’ Delia said, looking down at Patsy, ‘but we have two doctors in the family,’ she finished, her hand firmly gesturing to Doctor Girlfriend snoozing at their feet. She was laying on her back, legs up on the air as her belly was exposed towards the warmth of her fire. 

‘I feel like that’s more of an honorary title,’ Valerie teased. 

‘Besides,’ Delia continued, ignoring Valerie, ‘the weekend isn’t complete until we’ve played truth or dare.’

‘Sure it is,’ Patsy said, sipping her wine. 

‘Patsy, truth or dare,’ Delia asked excitedly. 

‘No.’

‘Oh, come on!’

‘I’ll play,’ Trixie said, crossing her arms, ‘Go on Delia, I pick truth. Ask me something.’

‘Um, alright,’ Delia said, bringing her finger to her chin in thought, ‘So, what was the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in front of Barbara?’ 

‘Oh,’ she rolled her eyes with a small smirk, ‘Well there been plenty when I was walking around like a drunken idiot, but the one thing that comes to mind while I was sober was when she asked me a sex question while we were walking down the street. It was so out of the blue that I walked right into the metal pole of a crosswalk sign.’

‘Ooh,’ Barbara said, closing her eyes and fighting a smile, ‘I remember feeling so bad laughing at that.’ 

‘It’s alright, it’s funny now, but the bruise I had on the side of my face lasted at least a week!’ 

‘What was the sex question?’ Valerie asked, amused. 

‘Who the hell knows,’ Trixie said with a shrug, ‘I just remember it being so distracting that it completely made me lose my train of thought. Probably because we hadn’t started dating yet.’ 

Barbara blushed, ‘My filter has gotten better.’ 

‘How about you, Delia,’ Lucille asked, ‘what the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of Patsy? 

Delia crossed her arms and glared at her wife, ‘Oh, I wouldn’t say I do it in front of her intentionally.’ 

Patsy bit her lip knowingly. 

‘She likes to take polaroids of me napping,’ Delia said. 

‘You make the most amazing faces,’ Patsy interjected. 

‘We have a collage in the bedroom,’ Delia huffed with a disapproving frown, ‘She’s got a full body shot of me sprawled out on the sofa, framed on the nightstand.’

‘Well you won't let me take it with me to the office.’

‘That’s because I'm in my knickers!’

‘You looked like a renaissance painting.’

‘Anyone would look like a renaissance painting when you scatter a bouquet of flowers around them!’

‘I thought it was a nice touch,’ Patsy shrugged. 

‘And you just sleep through all this, Delia?’ Valerie asked with an amused smirk.

‘The woman could sleep through the blitz,’ Patsy said. 

‘Yes, well any kids I have will be good sleepers, thank you very much,’ Delia huffed with a finality in her tone that signaled the end of that conversation. 

‘How about you, Patsy?’ Trixie asked. 

‘Oh, I never do anything embarrassing in front of Delia,’ she remarked smartly, sipping her wine. 

‘Bullshit,’ said Valerie, her tone laden with disbelief. 

Delia shook her head and crossed her arms, ‘No. she’s right,’ she remarked with a hint of annoyance, ‘Patsy is really composed and good at keeping herself together. It’s rather remarkable.’ 

‘You really can’t think of one thing?’ Lucille asked. 

Delia sighed, looking down at Patsy who looked back at her challengingly. She turned back to the group with a small smile, ‘Well, there was this one time she was giving me a lap dance for my birthday-‘

‘Ahh!’ Patsy screamed, startling the dog, her whole body nearly jumping from her chair, causing Delia to almost fall out of her lap, ‘Deels!’ she shouted, clasping her hand over Delia’s mouth to silence her. 

Delia was shaking with laughter as she struggled to remove Patsy's hand from her mouth. 

‘They don’t need to know _anything_ I do for _any_ of your birthdays!’ Patsy shouted over the sound of her friends laughing, her face turning completely red. 

‘Ow!’ Patsy shouted when Delia bit her finger. 

Delia finally pulled Patsy’s hand away, leaning back so she could shout, ‘-and she fell over and busted her arse on the coffee table!’ 

‘Delia!’ Patsy pleaded. 

‘We had to go to hospital!’ Delia choked out, leaning further and further away from Patsy's long arms trying her best to cover her mouth, ‘she had to get six stitches on her bum!’ 

‘Oh my god’ Trixie said, wide eyed and bringing a hand to her mouth, ‘was that the week you refused to ever sit down?’ she asked.

Patsy merely grumbled as she sucked on her now sore finger. 

‘I thought it was so weird. You said you were trying to get your steps in,’ Trixie remarked amused, ‘I’d no idea it was because you had stitches in your bum.’ 

‘It wasn’t _in_ my bum, it was _on_ my bum and next time we go camping I’m throwing that coffee table with its razor sharp edges into the fire,’ she glared at Delia, ‘see if I ever do anything nice for you again.’

Delia smiled down at her wife, gently holding her face in her hands as she placed a sweet kiss on her cheek, ‘Aw, I’m sorry, cariad,’ she placed more sweet kisses along Patsy’s eyebrow and the bridge of her nose, the redhead calming down slightly as her arms wrapped around Delia again, pulling her close, ‘you give the best birthday lap dances.’ 

Valerie and Lucille looked at each other after having watched all of this go down, shaking their heads with an air of disbelief. 

‘Like watching a whiplash,’ Valerie remarked. 

‘Promise me we’ll never bicker so aggressively,’ Lucille whispered. 

‘I don’t think I could take the abuse, honestly.’

‘I think this is what happens when you get two strong personalities together.’ 

Valerie hummed and nodded in agreement. 

‘And just what are you two tittering on about over there?’ Barbara asked teasingly. 

‘Yeah, what’s your embarrassing story?’ Delia asked. 

Valerie shrugged, ‘Don’t have one. Haven’t been together long enough.’ 

‘Oh bullocks,’ Patsy said, ‘new relationships are always riddled with embarrassing moments.’ 

Lucille looked up in thought, ‘Well, there was that one time I caught you dancing in the kitchen.’ 

‘You startled me!’ Valerie laughed, ‘I threw that spatula so hard I thought it was going to stick to the ceiling.’ 

Lucille giggled at the thought, ‘I thought so too!’ 

‘How about when you hit on me and were really awkward about it?’ 

‘Yeah and then you said our dinner that night didn’t count as a real date and you got upset I wouldn’t kiss you.’ 

Trixie groaned, ‘Oh stop. You two are sickeningly adorable.’ 

‘I think it’s cute!’ Barbara said, taking Trixies hand and kissing the back of it. 

‘See? Nothing terribly embarrassing,’ Valerie shrugged. 

‘Yet,’ said Lucille. 

‘Well don’t go and jinx it now…’ Valerie mumbled. 

‘Jinx?’ Delia said, sitting up straight and looking at Patsy, ‘Jinx! It was a jinx!’ 

Patsy narrowed her eyes at her wife, ‘Uh… you mean a _mink_?’

‘What the bloody hell are you on about?’ Valerie asked. 

Patsy rolled her eyes, ‘We saw… something. When we went for one of our early morning walks with Doctor Girlfriend.’ 

‘It was definitely something nocturnal,’ Delia said with an air of suspicion, ‘like… a cat. But more bouncy.’ 

‘Bouncy?’ Barbara asked. 

‘It wasn’t a cat. It had beady eyes and fangs’, Patsy said. 

‘And it was long,’ Delia said, holding her hands out. 

‘Wh- have you… have you lot ever actually seen a cat?’ Valerie asked, ‘They’re all those things.’ 

‘I know a cat then I see one, Val!’ Delia said, hands on her hips, ‘and it was definitely _not_ a cat!’ 

Patsy pinched the bridge of her nose, ‘I swear this is going to be something we’ll argue over for the entirety of our marriage,’ she mumbled. 

‘What else did it look like?’ Lucille asked, leaning forward, curious, ‘How big was it? What color?’ 

‘Well, it was small. White. Hopped around a lot,’ she emphasized her point by making a hopping motions with her two hands. 

‘Are you sure it wasn’t a bunny?’ Valerie asked with a laugh. 

‘If it was a bunny it would have been the demonic one from the Holy Grail,’ Patsy grumbled. 

‘It wasn’t a bunny!’ Delia insisted, ‘It had no ears, a tiny head, and a long fluffy tail!’

‘Albino skunk?’ Trixie guessed. 

‘Ferrett?’ Barbara suggested with a shrug. 

‘Puffy white thing that hopped around,’ Valerie leaned in towards Lucille with a dumb smile, ‘Maybe it was the ikea monkey,’ she joked. 

Delia gasped, ‘Oh!’ she sighed wistfully, her expression changing as if she were thinking about baskets full of puppies and chubby babies, ‘He was so cute, hopping around the store with his little nappy and puffy coat, I just…’ Delia fanned her hand over her face before covering her mouth, tears pricking at her eyes as she sniffed, ‘I just love that little monkey so much!’ she sobbed. 

Everyone else watched on, stunned at the drastic change of mood in Delia as she sniffed, wiping away fat tears with her fingers. 

Patsy glared at Valerie, ‘Thank a lot, Val!’ 

Valerie held up her hands incredulously, ‘How is this my fault?! I didn’t know she was a weepy drunk!’ 

‘Maybe Delia’s just had one too many sips of wine,’ Barbara commented teasingly. 

‘Delia, come on girl,’ Trixie said, shaking her head, ‘pull yourself together.’ 

‘I’m sorry,’ Delia sobbed, sniffing loudly as more tears leaked from her eyes.

‘Alright, I think it’s bedtime for you,’ Patsy said, and Delia scooted off her lap and stood. 

‘That actually sounds like a good idea,’ Barbara said, standing herself, ‘We’ve got a long day tomorrow and there is still plenty to pack up when we wake in the morning.’ 

‘Oh, alright,’ Trixie agreed, moving to stand from her chair. 

Valerie looked to Lucille to see if they should follow the crowd, but Lucille was looking at her phone. 

‘We’ll clean up out here if you lot want to go on off to bed,’ Valerie said, remembering that Lucille wanted them to stay awake tonight. For what she still had no clue. 

The other four women gave their thanks and cleared from the circle, Trixie and Barbara retiring to the caravan while Patsy followed a sniffling Delia into their tent with a bottle of water she knew her was going to need at some point in the night. 

When things had quieted again, Valerie stretched out again in her chair, the bottoms of her bare feet being tickled by the heat of the dying fire while her hands clasped together behind her head. 

Valerie closed her eyes and gave a long, relaxing sigh, jumping slightly when she felt a tickle on her belly. She opened her eyes to see Lucille leaning over her, kissing her exposed belly where her jumper had risen. 

‘Hey!’ Valerie said with a giggle as she watched Lucille sit back in her chair. 

‘Sorry, couldn’t resist,’ Lucille smiled and turned back to her phone. 

Valerie looked at her curiously. 

‘So what is this thing you're keeping me awake for?’ 

‘You’ll see.’ 

Valerie rolled her eyes, ‘What are you looking at your phone for? You trying to get a signal? Is it a program you want to show me or something?’ 

‘Of sorts…’ she said elusively, and Valerie decided to give up. 

‘Well, if you need me up much longer I’m going to need some coffee.’ 

Lucille’s head bobbed from side to side, as if she were considering something. 

‘Well… it’s still a bit early, but I think it’ll be alright.’ 

‘Early?’ Valerie said. She reached over and tilted Lucille’s phone towards her. It read 23:45.

‘It’s gone nearly midnight. What do you mean ‘early’?’

Lucille merely smiled and rose from her seat, and Valerie watched her disappear into their tent. She looked on curiously from her seat by the fire as she heard some shuffling around and the zip of a rucksack. 

She reappeared from the tent with the rucksack over her shoulder, a torch lit in her hand pointed at the ground and holding Valerie’s shoes with the other. 

‘Here, put these on,’ she said, tossing Valerie her shoes, who looked at her queerly.

‘Lou, what on earth…’

Lucille ignored her, moving to put the fire out with the reserve bucket of water as Valerie simply shrugged and slipped on her shoes. 

White smoke rising high from the pit as Lucille turned, she reached for Valerie’s hand with a small smile. 

‘Come on,’ she whispered. 

Valerie took her hand and rose from her seat, allowing Lucille to guide her from the camp, through the trees and along one of the many trails, the torchlight leading the way. They walked silently for some time, the only noises coming from the crunch of dirt and the snapping of twigs beneath their feet, the torchlight illuminating the path and the shrubs and trees around them. Valerie saw little critters scurry away from them and lightning bugs flutter about as they kept on. Valerie’s eyes drifted towards the canopy of trees above them, the moonlight littering through, casting shadows as the leaves rustled calmly in the breeze. 

Eventually, the two came to a clearing, a field overlooking hills facing west. This is when Lucille stopped walking and let go of Valerie’s hand. 

‘I think this’ll do,’ she said, walking out a bit further until she came to a flat spot. 

Valerie followed close behind her, ‘What are we doing here?’ 

‘Will you help me?’ Lucille said, ignoring Valerie's question kneeling down over her rucksack. She situated to torch to stand on it’s own, the light facing the sky as she unzipped the rucksack and pulled out a large, rolled up blanket. 

Valerie took the blanket from her and helped Lucille roll it out, pulling it tight at the corners. Lucille flicked off the torch once the blanket was flattened against the ground. The two kicked off their shoes and sat down together, Valerie hugging her knees to her chest while Lucille sat with her legs tucked under her, facing Valerie. 

Valerie looked over to her and saw she was on her phone again, the blue light illuminating her features. 

‘Lou, what’s up?’ 

Lucille looked up at her and smiled, ‘I don’t know, why don’t you look up and tell me?’ 

Rather confused, Valerie turned her head to look up, and the beautiful sight of the nights sky caused her breath catch in her throat. Away from the city lights for one of the first times in her life, she had never seen the sky so black, the stars shine so vividly. And they were countless. Hundreds upon hundreds of stars and planets dusted the sky. The moon itself looked different, crisp and polished, appearing to be made of marble. What made Valerie feel weak in the knees was the spellbinding splash of stars and clouds across the sky that stretched from one horizon to the other. 

Valerie was so in awe at the sight above her, she didn’t even realize she was lying back until the back of her head hit the blanket, her limbs slowly stretched out and she vaguely felt Lucille lay down with her, her head in the crook of Valerie's shoulder as she looked up at the sky with her.

‘I have never seen anything more beautiful in all my life.’ 

‘Not even me?’ Lucille asked, and even though Valerie couldn’t take her eyes away from the sky, she was able to hear the smile in Lucile’s voice. 

Valerie grinned and kissed Lucille on the top of her head, ‘Alright, I take it back. This sky right now is the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.’ 

Lucille nuzzled a little closer to Valerie as she held up her phone in front of them. It was opened to the app that she had shown Valerie that first night they went out together, the one that made all the stars appear against the black backdrop of the sky, the stars having been rendered invisible from the city lights. 

As Lucille’s finger swiped across the screen, Valerie watched as constellations appeared, and her eyes followed Lucille’s finger as she pointed to the sky. 

‘There’s the North Star; Polaris. It’s the very last one on the tail of the Little Dipper,’ Lucille’s finger pointed to the other end of the sky, ‘and over there is Orion.’ 

‘He’s huge.’ 

‘Yeah, he really stretches out. You can see the three stars that make up his belt right there… and close by… do you see that little pile of stars right there? If you count you can probably see six of them.’ 

Valerie squinted, but nodded, ‘yeah, I can see them.’ 

‘That’s Pleiades. It’s actually a star cluster called the seven sisters.’ 

Valerie raised an eyebrow, ‘Why's that? If there’s only six if them?’ 

Lucille smiled, ‘Well, the cluster is actually several hundred stars. Only six are visible to the naked eye, but…’ Lucille sat up and dug through her rucksack, pulling out what looked to Valerie like half of a pair of binoculars. 

‘Is that a telescope?’ she asked, sitting up and observing the device in her hand. 

‘Monocular, actually,’ she said, bringing the device to her one eye, closing the other. 

Valerie playfully rolled her eyes, ‘Oh, pardon me.’ 

Lucille smiled as she focused the device on the star cluster near Orion’s Belt, ‘I’m particularly fond of this star cluster.’

‘You two go way back, huh?’ 

Lucille ignored her dumb joke, ‘I just like learning about all the stories behind the constellations. I think it’s fascinating that the same set of stars can have so many stories.’ 

‘Stories? Like myths?’ 

‘Precisely,’ Lucille said, lowering the monocular from her eye to look at Valerie, ‘Pleiades in particular, the Polynesians thought it used to be one big star that everyone admired. There was a god who became jealous of everyone admiring it, so he took his fist and smashed it into several stars. The Lakota thought it was created when seven sisters sought refuge from a bear that was chasing them. They climbed an enormous rock to get away from the bear, and prayed for the great spirit to save them. The spirit made the rock rise from the ground and propelled them into the sky, creating Pleiades and the Devils Tower.’ 

‘What’s the Devils Tower?’ 

‘An enormous rock somewhere in Wyoming that randomly sticks straight out from the ground…’ Lucille thought for a moment, ‘though I suppose that would make it an inselberg…’

Lucille handed Valerie the monocular for her to use before continuing, ‘The Greeks thought it was Orion who desired these sisters, and he chased after them for seven years before Zeus answered their prayers and turned them into birds, placing them among the stars.’ 

Valerie brought the monocular to her eye and focused in on the star cluster. 

‘Though, Orion was then placed among the stars with them, immortalizing the chase.’ 

‘Those women just can’t catch a break,’ Valerie mumbled, her eye wandering across the sky to look at other stars. There were so many that she couldn’t focus, until something moving across her line of vision caught her eye. 

‘What was that!’ 

‘What?’ Lucille asked, looking up.

Valerie pulled the monocle away from her eye and looked at the sky, ‘Something was moving really fast… there!’ she pointed, her finger following the moving dots path, ‘That can’t be a plane, can it?’ 

Lucille giggled, ‘No, that’s much too high for a plane.’

‘Well it’s certainly not a UFO…’ 

‘It’s not?’ Lucille grinned and Valerie playfully glared at her, ‘What’s wrong Val, don’t you want to believe?’ 

Valerie rolled her eyes and handed the monocular back to Lucille, who placed it back in her bag. 

‘It looks to me to be a low orbit satellite.’ 

‘A satellite?’ 

‘Yeah. It’s probably taking our picture right now. Hi NASA,’ Lucille looked up and waved with a smile. 

Valerie made rude gesture with her two fingers in the direction of the passing satellite, causing Lucille to giggle. 

Valerie lay back down on the blanket, her fingers interlocking behind her head. Lucille joined her, snuggling up next to her with her arm around Valerie’s waist, the two falling into a comfortable silence as they watched the sky. 

‘What’s the long cloudy bit in the middle there?’ Valerie asked. 

‘What do you think it is?’ 

‘Haven’t the foggiest. Is it another sort of massive star cluster?’ 

‘What does it look like?’ 

Valerie tilted her head as if she were interpreting some kind of modern artwork, ‘A splotchy mess of some sort, really,’ she said. 

‘A splotchy mess, hmm?’ Lucille asked, ‘Like spilt milk?’ 

‘Yeah, I suppose it does look a bit like…,’ Valerie’s eyebrows furrowed as she put two and two together, ‘Hang on. Is that the milky way?’ 

Lucille smiled up at Valerie, ‘That’s right. That’s our galaxy. 100 billion stars and planets looking back at us right now.’ 

Valerie blinked, suddenly feeling very small. 

‘I have never felt so insignificant in all my life,’ she mumbled. 

‘I know what you mean,’ Lucille sighed wistfully, ‘it’s… humbling,’ she brought Valerie's hand to her mouth and kissed it, her voice lowering as if in thought, ‘Reminds me that life is precious.’ 

Lucille gently stroked the back of Valerie’s hand and wrist with her finger, and Valerie closed her eyes and sighed at the gentle touch. She felt Lucille slowly turn in her arms and half lay on top of her. Valerie opened her eyes to see Lucille looking down at her adoringly. 

‘You’re precious to me,’ she said, her fingers coming to lovingly brush Valerie’s hair behind her ear. 

Valerie leaned into her hand, closing her eyes and kissing her palm. 

‘I really love you, Val,’ Lucille said softly.

‘I love you, too,’ Valerie said, opening her eyes and taking a deep breath as she looked up at her beautiful girlfriend, ‘fuck, I’m so in love with you,’ she exhaled. 

Lucille giggled and smiled, leaning down and kissing Valerie sweetly, ‘I want to hear you say that all night.’

Valerie closed her eyes again and gave a cheeky smile, ‘I’ll say it as many times as there are stars in the sky.’ 

Lucille merely shook her head at Valerie’s cheesiness and kissed her again, and again, and again. 

Their kissing grew slow, deep. Lucilles teeth gently tugged at Valerie’s bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth before sucking on it, making Valerie sigh. She repeated the motion, her tongue coming out to lick the underside of Valerie’s top lip, extracting a moan from her. Their tongues pressed against one another as Valerie’s hand cradled Lucille's head, her fingers entangling in her hair. Their kissing continued as their legs entwined, Lucille's hands finding their way under Valerie’s jumper and grazing over the soft skin of her hips and back. Valerie turned towards Lucille, pulling her closer. 

Lucille shifted so that she lay on top of Valerie, her thigh settling in between Valerie’s legs, causing Valerie to gasp. Instinctively, Valerie's hands sought Lucille's hips, her own leg rising so her thigh pushed against Lucille's center, bringing the woman above her forward, causing her to moan in Valerie’s ear. They continued their kissing, Valerie’s hands coming to caress the skin of Lucille's back under her jumper, thinking that being under Lucille's body was absolutely the best feeling ever. The woman above her ground her hips against Valerie’s thigh, sighing, her mouth seeking more of Valerie as she sucked on an earlobe, her tongue and mouth leaving fat, wet kisses down Valerie's neck before connecting with her mouth again. Their tongues met again more urgently than before. Everything about their kissing communicated that they needed to be as close as possible. Without boundaries. Without barriers. 

Lucille’s hands found both of Valerie’s, grasping her wrists and pinning them above her head as they continued kissing. 

‘Val,’ she said breathless, her hand coming to rake through her hair to get it out of her eyes, ‘Oh, Val… baby,’ she sighed, and Valerie whimpered at the pet name. Was this the first time she had called her baby? She didn’t care. She loved the sound of it. 

‘Baby,’ Lucille breathed, kissing Valerie again, ‘Oh, Val, fuck,’ she whimpered against Valerie's neck, ‘I want to touch you,’ she said, her hips thrusting against Valerie’s thigh, ‘Can I please touch you?’ 

Valerie couldn’t speak. Her mind was clouded with lust and desire and she couldn’t actually believe this was happening. She merely nodded in response to Lucille's questioning gaze. She barely felt Lucille stealthy unbutton and unzip her shorts, only gasping as she felt the soft tickle of fingertips at the hem of her knickers. Alright, Valerie reasoned with herself, this really was happening. Valerie didn’t dare move at the risk of Lucille stopping for whatever reason. Her hands remained above her head as if they were still pinned down. It had been so long since she was touched by another person that she knew she wasn’t going to last long before she came undone. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart beat faster, she could feel her body pulse in anticipation as Lucille’s hand drifted lower, her fingers finally touching her where Valerie wanted to be touched most. 

Lucille let out her own ragged breath as she ran a tentative finger down and up the length of the woman under her. 

‘Oh,’ Valerie breathed, her eyes barely open, ‘Yes…’ 

Lucille’s head dropped to the crook of Valerie’s neck as she touched her, ‘Oh, baby,’ she breathed, ‘you’re so wet…’ 

‘That’s what,’ she gasped as Lucille’s middle finger found her clit and softly circled over it, ‘mmf, that’s what you do to me.’ 

Lucille moaned in Valerie’s ear before kissing her there, her finges continuing their motions. Valerie brought her arms back down from above her head and entwined her fingers in Lucille’s hair, cradling her head, gently pulling her down for a kiss. 

‘You feel so good,’ Lucille whispered against her lips.

‘I love how you’re touching me.’ 

‘It’s alright?’ Lucille asked, unsure.

‘Yes,’ Valerie breathed, kissing her again, feeling that low pressure build up and up with each circle of Lucille’s finger over her clit, ‘it’s so good, Lou. You’re doing so fucking good.’ 

Lucille smiled and kissed Valerie sweetly, her fingers slowing and grazing down and up the length of Valerie again. 

‘Don’t you dare stop,’ Valerie said warningly, her hips thrusting against Lucille’s hand. 

‘No?’ Lucille smirked, her finger slowly circling over Valerie’s clit again. 

‘No, please, I need you,’ Valerie gasped, pushing her hips harder against Lucille’s hand, ‘I’m so close, Lou.’ 

‘You are?’ Lucille asked, a hint of surprise in her tone. 

Valerie nodded urgently, ‘Yes, please, keep going,’ she pleaded, and kissed Lucille when she felt her continue her earlier motions, ‘Yes, yes, just like that,’ she moaned against her lips. 

Lucille closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, her mouth seeking Valerie’s. She licked and pulled at Valerie’s bottom lip while she followed Valerie’s instructions, building up a steady rhythm with her fingers. 

Valerie unconsciously grabbed fistfuls of Lucille’s jumper, her own eyes screwing shut as she was brought closer and closer to that edge. She pulled Lucille tight, wanting her as close as she could possibly get in this position. 

‘Oh, Lou,’ Valerie breathed, a pressure building up and up again between her legs, ‘Oh, Lou please don’t stop,’ she wrapped her arms around Lucille’s shoulders, pulling her close, moaning in her ear. 

‘Are you… you’re really going to…?’ Lucille asked. 

Valerie cried out just then, answering Lucille’s question. She rolled her hips against Lucille’s hand as she felt that sweet release unravel within her, her legs shaking as she moaned out her orgasm in Lucille’s ear. She reached down to hold Lucille’s hand against her as the wonderful pulsing sensation throughout her body subsided, faded. 

Valerie opened her eyes and saw Lucille looking down at her with the utmost desire in her dark eyes. Lucille leaned down and kissed Valerie, removing her hand from underneath her knickers. Valerie reached down and grabbed Lucille’s hand, bringing her fingers to her mouth, gently sucking on the digits. Lucille moaned as she watched her fingers disappear into Valerie’s mouth, and Valerie felt the woman above her ground her hips against her thigh. Lucille’s whole body seemed hot, her body pressing hard into Valerie’s. 

Valerie wrapped her arms around Lucille and pushed against her, turning them over so that Lucille was now laying down on the blanket, Valerie hovering over her. She settled her hips in between Lucille’s legs and ground her whole body against her, causing Lucille to sigh and squirm. Valerie leaned down and kissed her, her mouth gently tugging on Lucille’s bottom lip, extracting a sigh from her. 

Valerie situated herself so that she was on her knees, her feet under her bum as she grabbed Lucille under her knees and pulled the woman towards her, wrapping her legs around her hips. She pushed herself forward, hovering over her girlfriend once again, its hands on either side of Lucille’s head as she eyed her curiously. 

‘How did you know how to touch me like that?’ Valerie asked quietly. 

‘I…,’ Lucille licked her lips and furrowed her eyebrows, seemingly struggling to focus, ‘Something you said when we first tried, a few weeks ago. That we were both women and that you liked what I liked and vice versa. And I thought I would try to… to, you know… tough you like I touch myself.’

‘I like how you touch yourself,’ Valerie nearly growled, a pulse of desire shooting through her body again at the thought of Lucille’s fingers on her. She leaned down and kissed Lucille, her mouth opening to slowly and lazily roll across her bottom lip before she trailed kisses along her jawline, licking the shell of Lucille’s ear, ‘is that how you want me to touch you?’ she whispered. 

Lucille nodded, sighing, ‘Yes… oh yes,’ she breathed as Valerie kissed down her neck, ‘I just want you. I want you to touch me how you want, I don’t care, baby, I just need to feel you,’ she said, her hips wiggling under Valerie for any kind of contact. 

Valerie moaned, her mind running wild with a myriad of possibilities as her teeth gently pulled at a bit of skin on Lucille’s neck, ‘I love it when you call me baby,’ she sighed. 

‘Yeah?’ Lucille breathed, her eyes barely open as Valerie continued kissing her way down.

‘Yeah,’ Valerie said, finding herself rather annoyed when her mouth hit the barrier of Lucille’s hooded jumper. 

Valerie sat up and pulled at the zipper of Lucille’s jumper, her eyebrows rising with each click of the zipper as it was slowly revealed to Valerie that Lucille was wearing absolutely nothing underneath. 

‘This was your plan all long, wasn’t it?’ Valerie said slyly, her hands pushing aside the fabric and roaming over Lucille’s sides and breasts, ‘lure me out into the woods and seduce me, you sneaky girl.’ 

‘I didn’t want,’ she sighed and arched her body into Valerie’s hands, ‘I didn’t want the others to hear anything.’ 

‘How long have you been thinking about this?’ Valerie asked, leaning forward again. 

Lucille shook her head, sounding frustrated ‘Val, I don’t know. All day. All weekend. My whole life. Fuck Val, I just want you.’ 

Valerie’s eyes narrowed playfully at her girlfriend, her smile turning mischievous as her hands wondered, softly caressing over her hips and soft belly, firmly palming over he breast and tugging on a hard nipple. Lucille arched into her touch, gasping. Valerie leaned forward, hovering over Lucille as she teasingly pulled on her bottom lip, her tongue coming out to lick the underside of her top lip. When Lucille lifted her head to kiss her, Valerie pulled away with a sly smile. 

‘I think there’s other things I could be doing with my mouth right now.’ 

‘What could possibly be more important than kissing me?’ Lucille asked, her tone rather impatient. 

Valerie leaned down kissed a spot under Lucille's ear that made her sigh. 

‘Absolutely nothing, my love,’ she said softly, ‘but there are other parts of you that my mouth wants to give a bit of attention.’ 

She leaned back once more, her fingers taking down Lucille's body, causing her to gasp again. Valerie was rather enjoying how her girlfriend was reacting to her touches, but she couldn't keep waiting herself for this much longer. Valerie licked her lips as she popped the button open on Lucille's shorts, and pulled down the zipper. 

‘Besides,’ Valerie said, kissing across Lucille’s chest, ‘since we’re out here,’ she kissed her breast, ‘all alone,’ she kissed the other, ‘I should take the opportunity,’ she kissed down her soft belly, ‘to see how loud you can get.’ 

Valerie’s fingers hooked over the hem of Lucille's shorts and knickers and yanked them down with a gasp from Lucille. She slid them down Lucille's long legs, removing one foot and leaving them dangling from the other before she grabbed a leg and kissed her from her knee back up her thigh. She gave a teasing kiss just above where she knew those soft curls between Lucille's legs would be, Lucille giving a shaky gasp in response. 

Valerie looked up at her to gauge her reaction. Lucille had one hand over her face, peeking at her through her fingers. Valerie could tell she had a massive blush behind that hand.

Valerie kissed her way back up Lucille's body, her hands gently caressing her wherever her mouth had been. She pressed her body against Lucille's when their lips met, and she made sure her kissing was tender, loving. 

‘I really want to eat you out,’ she breathed against Lucille's lips when they broke apart. Lucile sighed in return as Valerie continued, ‘but I want you to tell me if you don’t like it. Just say so and I’ll stop.’ 

Lucille nodded, biting her lip. 

Valerie kissed her sweetly again, ‘I just want to make you feel good,’ she sighed, closing her eyes and kissing her again, ‘I want to taste you, fuck,’ she tugged at Lucille's lip, feeling herself get worked up again as she was thinking about it, ‘I want to make you come with my mouth.’ 

Lucille whimpered against Valerie’s mouth, her body pressing into hers again. She pulled away slightly, looking worried, ‘But what if I… what if I don’t…’ 

Valerie shook her head, ‘Don’t think like that. Instead,’ Valerie looked up in thought, smiling slightly, ‘I want you to think about all the sexy things you would like to do to me.’ 

Lucille giggled, ‘Why’s that?’ 

Valerie kissed her sweetly, ‘It’ll keep you focused. Here in the moment. Now,’ she said, gently running her fingers through Lucille's hair, ‘I’m going to go nice and slow,’ she whispered, her tone gentle and slow, ‘I’m going to take my time, because there is no rush,’ she kissed Lucile one last time before she crawled back down between her legs, settling in, kissing her hips and inner thighs. Valerie's hand wrapped around Lucilled thigh as she hitched a leg over her shoulder, her other hand holding firm onto Lucille's hip. 

Valerie was nervous. It had been so long since she had done this and she didn’t want to disappoint Lucille, but with it being her first time, _their_ first time, it left her feeling the butterflies swarm in her belly. 

That is, until, the scent of Lucille's desire hit her nose, and it was as if something kicked over in Valerie’s brain that shut off all insecurities, and without another second of hesitation, opened her mouth and gave a long, teasing lick up Lucilles slit, moaning at finally having a taste of her. Valerie closed her eyes as she listened to Lucile gasp, her hands tightened their grip on her thigh and hip so she wouldn’t squirm too much. She placed gentle kisses on the oh so very soft skin of Lucille's labia, running the tip of her nose along the length of her and inhaling her scent deeply. Valerie’s mouth watered thinking about how much she missed being between another woman’s legs. 

Lucilles squirming continued, accompanied by a series of excited gasps and moans that only encouraged Valerie to keep going, to keep teasing her. She gently sucked at those soft lips and peppered them with kisses that made Lucille giggle. Valerie could barely stand it any longer and used the tip of her tongue to part Lucille and finally properly taste her, the woman in her arms letting out a long moan at the sensation. Valerie continued her slow strokes for several moments, keeping pace, listening to Lucille as she grew accustomed to the feeling of her tongue on her. She had purposefully avoided Lucille's clit, wanting her girlfriend to just enjoy being touched so intimately without any expectations, but Valerie wanted to know just how Lucille would sound if she just…

Lucille cried out suddenly, her eyes slamming shut as Valerie rolled her tongue over her clit. The woman in her arms moaned, her hands reaching down to grab fistfuls of the blanket as Valerie gently sucked on her clit, teasing her, watching Lucille's reactions with one eye open. She went back to rolling her tongue, over and over again on that sensitive clit, and Valerie opened both eyes to see Lucille's gorgeous breasts rise and fall, her breathing becoming ragged and heavy. She felt long fingers grasp her hair and hold onto her tight, a good sign that she was doing something right. She continued her motions, staying the same pace and same pressure that was causing Lucile to cry out all those lovely noises she was making. 

‘Val…’ Lucile whined, ‘Oh, Val… baby,’ she cried out again, and Valerie thought it sounded like Lucille was gritting her teeth, ‘Baby,’ she cried out again, gasping, sounding desperate. Valeri struggled to keep her pace, wanting to go faster, moaning against Lucille herself as her cries and moans were getting her worked up again. She wanted to be touched. She wanted Lucille to touch her again. She wanted Lucille to make her come again. Fuck, she just wanted Lucile. 

Valerie was brought back from her thoughts when Lucille's hips suddenly left the ground and crashed down again as she moaned out her orgasm, her legs clenched against Valerie's ears to hard she couldn’t hear a thing. Valerie continued her strokes as Lucille's body shook around her, her legs relenting their grasp much to Valerie's thanks and she could hear her make the sexiest moans and whimpers she had ever heard. It was almost enough to make Valerie feel like she would come again just from listening. 

A hand gently pushing Valerie away made her look up at Lucille, whose chest was rising and falling with deep breaths, and Valerie couldn’t help but admire how her gorgeous breasts looked in that moment. 

Valerie smiled, her hands caressing Lucille's legs as she kissed her way back up the quivering woman, her moans turning into whimpers with each loving kiss along her body. Valerie settled her hips between Lucille's legs again as she sweetly kissed her girl, her finger stroking her cheek, coaxing Lucille to open her eyes and look at her. 

Lucille merely smiled, ‘You made me see stars behind my eyes,’ she said rather breathless. 

Valerie laughed and tucked a thick lock of Lucille's hair behind her ear, ‘Felt good then, hmm?’ 

Lucille sighed and nodded, a silly smile plastered on her face, ‘Yes… yeah, I can’t… there isn’t…’ she sighed, her head rocking from side to side, ‘I can’t think of words, now, baby, all I know was that was amazing.’ 

Valerie kissed her once more before disentangling herself, helping Lucille put her knickers and shorts back on while she buttoned herself up again. Once Lucille zipped her hoodie, Valerie scooped her up in her arms and wrapped her legs around her. She peppered Lucille with silly and sweet kisses, making her giggle and kiss her back, pushing Valrie playfully, forcing her onto her back. They fell into a fit of laughter as they rolled around, kissing each other, tickling. The two settled down eventually, cuddling, wrapped in each others arms while they gazed at one another, the beautiful nights sky above them forgotten as they whispered sweet nothings. 

Soon, Valerie's eyes grew heavy, and she suddenly felt tired, but remembered that they had a bit of a hike back to the campsite. 

‘We should probably pack up and head back,’ she started, and watched as Lucille bit her lip and looked back up at the sky. 

‘I think…’ Lucille started, her eyes scanning the sky. Valerie’s gaze followed Lucille's and she could have sworn she saw a flash of light rush across the sky before it disappeared. 

‘What was that?’ Valerie asked, ‘Another satellite?’ 

‘Let’s stay for just a few more minutes,’ Lucille said, laying down on her back her head behind her head as she looked over to Valerie, ‘This is the reason I wanted to keep you up tonight.’

Valerie smirked, ‘Oh it wasn’t to wile me with your charms and have your way with me?’ 

‘Ok, this was the _second_ reason I wanted to keep you up tonight,’ Lucille corrected herself, smiling, ‘there’s a meteor shower tonight, and I think it’s about to start.’ 

Valerie lay down on her back next to Lucille, her eyes upward as a few more meteors flew by, looking nothing more like whiskers across the sky, flashing for a moment before completely disappearing. 

Lucille reached for Valerie's hand and interlocked their fingers, not letting go. The simple gesture caused Valerie to look over at her, and she saw the absolute wonder in her expression as she gazed at the stars, watching the meteor shower. After a moment, Lucille noticed Valerie’s eyes on her and she turned to look back at her. 

‘What is it?’ she asked. 

Valerie simply smiled, ‘I was just… I just wanted to thank you.’ 

‘Thank me?’ Lucille smiled, looking back at her curiously. 

‘Thank you for bringing me here. For showing me the stars and telling me some of their stories. Thank you for… just being you and for sharing yourself with me. For trusting me. For loving me.’ 

Lucille looked back at Valerie with a silly lopsided smile, and Valerie could have sworn her eyes seemed a bit teary, but maybe that was just her own. Lucille closed her eyes and brought Valerie's hand to her lips, kissing the back of it. 

‘Come here,’ she whispered, and pulled Valerie into her arms, Valerie settling in the crook of Lucille's shoulder, the two of them looking back out at the sky to watch the show as Lucille's fingers gently ran through Valerie’s soft hair. 

They remained like that for some time until the urge to sleep was too great for them to stay out any longer, and regretfully, they packed up and headed back to camp.

* * *

When Valerie and Lucille returned to camp, they were met with the sounds of heavy snores from their neighboring tent. They quietly settled into their own tent, kicking off their shoes before entering. With a stretch and a yawn, Valerie and Lucille both undressed to change into their night things, but the sight of Lucille barely naked save her knickers made Valerie's desires flare up again and she couldn’t help but practically pounce on the unsuspecting woman. 

There were hushed giggles, some kissing, Lucille stripping Valerie of her remaining garments, more kissing, excuses about just being able to sleep in the car in the morning were made, a struggle between the two as to who was going to be on top. In a massive entanglement of arms and legs, Valerie was able to pin Lucille on her belly, her hand reaching around to stroke her clit, and Valerie brought her to orgasm the second time that night watching the woman beneath her grip and let go of the duvet several times, her groans muffled by a pillow that she clung on to for dear life. Playfully, Valerie was pushed on her back and Lucille's hands and mouth were all over her, kissing her, tickling her, exploring her. Still too shy to use her mouth, Lucille touched Valerie again, this time Valerie guiding her to use her fingers and push them in. She whispered directions to her. Told her what to do, and she thanked whomever was out there that Lucille was a quick study. She had to desperately clasp her hands over her mouth to keep from moaning out her orgasm, her body writhing under Lucille as the waves of pleasure coursed through her body over and over again.

Another round of lovemaking followed, more kissing, more gasping, more muffled groans into hands and duvets. Eventually, the two could go on no longer, and they fell asleep sprawled out in a mass of arms and legs, not even noticing that the morning glow of the sun had already started to crest over the horizon.

* * *

It was half past seven when Valerie groaned awake to the sounds of pots and pans clamoring noisily together. 

‘Come on girls,’ Valerie could hear Patsy shout cheerfully, ‘time to go! Need to get out on the road!’ 

Valerie didn’t understand these early morning lesbians she had befriended. How on earth could they be so chipper so early when they could be sleeping? It was the one and only thing Valerie wanted to be doing right now, and she sighed regretting every time she had made a fuss about being forced to nap when she was a child. Her whole body felt like a pile of bricks. It was terribly painful in that moment to even crack open an eye, let alone actually wake up. 

A stirring next to her captured her attention, and she turned her head to see Lucille in a similar state; naked, upset, though, Valerie thought, looking much more adorable pouting than Valerie thought she looked in that moment. 

Valerie rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as she stretched, yawning. She watched Lucille sit up, her eyes still closed tight as she tisked at how unruly her hair was. Valerie watched as she expertly wrapped it again in the handkerchief, and she began to slowly dress. Valerie looked away, her eyes closing again for several moments. She felt herself drifting off again, but was unpleasantly brought back to the world of the living when she felt Lucille pat her forehead several times. 

‘No. If I’m up you’re up,’ she mumbled, to which Valerie's grumbled in reply. Lucille leaned down and kissed Valerie sweetly on her forehead, which did the trick. 

Valerie sat up and quickly dressed in whatever clothing was nearby before Lucille collected her bathroom things and left the tent, leaving Valerie to sit there, still strugglin to open her eyes without it feeling extremely painful. 

She rubbed her eyes and scratched the back of her head, blinking several times until she was able to see clearly. When her surroundings did come into focus, she couldn’t help but notice Delia sitting by the pit not too far away, her chin in her hand as she looked back at Valerie with a cheeky smile. 

‘Good morning,’ Delia said in a singsong voice. 

Valerie blinked. 

‘Fun night?’ she asked, her head tilted and her smile knowing. 

Valerie felt a blush start in her chest and reach the tips of her ears in an instant. She quickly scrambled to her knees, zipping up the flap of the tent for some privacy. 

Well fuck. She was certainly awake now!

Delia unzipped the tent just enough to stick her head through.

‘It sounded fun!’ she said, and Valerie quickly pulled her hood over her head, pulling on the strings to completely obscure her face, save her eyes. 

‘Nothing happened,’ Valerie mumbled. 

‘Nonsense, there was certainly a lot of action going on in this tent last night,’ Delia teased, and Valerie pushed her head out and zipped the flap up behind her. 

‘We did nothing impure!’

Delia snorted, ‘If that’s true, how come you’re wearing the same hoodie Lucille fell asleep in last night?’ 

Valerie looked down at herself, and sure enough, she had put on Lucille's hoodie. 

Her attention turned towards the front of the tent when the zipper was pulled down again and Delia’s face reappeared, ‘You’ve also got a big ol’ hickey on your chest.’ 

Valerie clutched the hoodie closer to her and zipped it up to her chin while Delia strode away giggling. 

Eventually Valerie dressed in a top and jeans and gathered the nerve to leave the tent when she was sure Delia wasn’t around. She packed up her and Lucille's things and worked with Patsy and Barbara to clean around the campsite and load up Delia’s car, who, much to Valerie's amusement, was stuck chasing around an excited Doctor Girlfriend after she had managed to steal one of the rubber chickens from the rear bumper of Delia’s subaru. The dog trotted around victoriously, as if she had stalked and killed the thing herself, the annoying _huck, huck, huck_ , noise permeating through the air as Delia chased after her in circles around the campsite. 

‘Well that should tire them out for the journey at least,’ Patsy remarked. 

‘I sometimes can’t believe you copulate with that woman,’ Valerie teased, and the two women watched on as Delia struggled to wrestle the damn thing away from the dog. 

Patsy merely shrugged, ‘She makes me laugh.’

Trixie and Lucille returned from the bathrooms just as the last of the things were put away, which Valerie thought must have been on purpose. 

‘So!’ Patsy exclaimed with a resounding clap, ‘Are we ready to go?’ 

‘Just about,’ Delia called, and everyone turned to see her reattaching the now deflated rubber chicken back to her bumper.

Patsy looked a bit deflated at the site, ‘Really Deels, you’re still going to make me drive with those things tied to the bumper?’

‘Of course!’

‘But I don’t need them,’ Patsy grumbled. 

‘They’ll come in handy for when we get back into the city!’ 

‘But-’

Valerie tuned out their bickering, looking around to find that Lucille had walked off a few paces to the edge of the campsite, looking down at something. 

Valerie trotted over to her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Lucille smiled back at her and Valerie saw she was holding the daisy chain that Barbara had made for her the day before when they were at the swimming hole. Lucille looked rather forlorn and Valerie kissed her temple. 

‘You alright?’ she asked.

Lucille nodded, ‘Yeah, I’m just going to miss this place, I think,’ she said, placing the daisy chain down on the wooden stump that was used to cut wood. 

‘We can always come back, you know. We were just talking last night how we should make this an annual thing,’ Valerie said in an effort to cheer her up. 

‘I know,’ Lucille smiled. She turned to Valerie and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, ‘it’s just… last night…’ 

Valerie wrapped her arms around Lucille's waist and smiled, ‘Was amazing.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Lucille shyly smiled and laughed, ‘Yeah it was. It really was,’ she kissed Valerie slowly before pulling away, her fingers running through Valerie’s hair, 

‘It was probably the best night of my life,’ Valerie whispered, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead to Lucille's. 

‘There were so many magical moments last night,’ Lucille whispered back, ‘This whole trip really. I feel like it’s really changed me… for the better,’ she added noting Valerie's concerned look, ‘I’m just… taking some time here to think about them, is all. I want to remember them.’ 

Valerie smiled, giving Lucille one more kiss before disentangling herself. 

‘Alright. Don’t let me interrupt you then,’ she said, taking the back of Lucille's hand and kissing it, ‘I’ll be waiting for you, alright?’ 

Lucille merely nodded, and Valerie let go. 

‘You’ll come to me when you’re ready?’ Valerie asked. 

A smile spread across Lucille's face, and looked at Valerie lovingly as she replied, ‘I always do.’

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't like a bit of star facts with their sex scenes? 
> 
> No doodle this week, unfortunately, though if I knew Valerie in real life I would totally make her [this cake](https://i.imgur.com/P1QYppjh.jpg). 
> 
> ~~One more chapter. Stay tuned.~~
> 
> Nope, I lied. It's done.


End file.
